All language subtitles for Noise.2007.1080p.BluRay.DD2

See this guy?

I know this guy.
He's a car thief.

He know that most car alarms
operate by a simple electric sensor.

You just jiggle the door,
you complete a circuit

and trigger the siren.

I've been stealing cars
since I was 14.

The truth is, alarms make my job
easier, not harder.

Say somebody's walking by
and sees me fiddling with the ignition.

So sorry, ma'am.

These stupid alarms, you know?

He knows that they can be
set off by someone

breaking into the vehicle
or bumping into it...

or some invisible machination
of the car's interior,

or for that matter,
by other alarms.

He also knows that they go off
accidentally so often

that in New York at least
no one pays any attention.

I'm Detective Dante Moretti,
NYPD.

I've been on auto crimes
for seven years

and I'd say in that time,
well, in Manhattan anyway,

a car alarm has not prevented the theft
or burglary of a single vehicle,

not one. Ever.

Frankly, that's a lot of BS.

I'm Richie McIntyre of
the Security Industry Trade Association.

We estimate that in 2003 alone
car alarms...

Today in New York City

- Administrative Code Section 24-221...
- Asshole.

...states that all car alarms

must automatically shut off
within three minutes.

I don't think that's quite
fast enough.

I'll tell you why.

Let's say it's 4:00 a.m.
and you've been up since 1:00

with your colicky newborn.

And just as you're
getting her down...

Let's say you're reading
German philosophy.

Hegel, for instance.

You're too stupid really
to understand any of this

but in your dogged way
you've been reading and rereading

the same passage
for the past half-hour.

And just as you're beginning
to get it...

Unfolded becoming. Unfolded becoming.

Or say you haven't
gotten it up for the past month,

the usual reasons...

boredom, rage,
short positions in the market...

but tonight for some reason

you feel an unexpected ease
in that department.

Come on, David.

Just let it go.

Shut up, you bastard!

At times like those

you don't really want to wait
three minutes, do you?

Or one minute.

Or even 30 seconds.

Personally, I don't think
we should have to hear it at all.

Maybe you don't either.

But unlike you,

I do something about it.

I'm the Rectifier.

Today at City Hall,
Mayor Rheinnhardt Schneer

met with 178 motorists

whose vehicles have been damaged
by a figure

identifying himself
only as the Rectifier.

I'm here with one of the victims.

This is Allen J Corpitanni
of Bayonne, New Jersey.

Mr. Corpitanni, could you show us
the letter you received?

Could you read it for us?

Yeah. "Dear Allen J Corpitanni,

on the evening of April 3rd

your burglar alarm disturbed
the citizens of New York.

Every time the Rectifier
or anyone in his organization

encounters a motor vehicle
with its alarm on

for any interval whatsoever"...
he underlined that part...

"it will be damaged.
That is why

you are obliged to repair
your battery cable

- at a cost of approximately $200.
- Shut up, you stupid douche.

Subsequent offenses
will receive more severe sentences.

The Rectifier."
Actually, I fixed it myself

with a little wire.

Didn't cost me nothing.

Mayor Schneer, however,
was typically unamused.

I will not tolerate
that kind of creep in my city.

Come on, Your Honor,

at worst this guy's guilty
of a misdemeanor.

We got 316 complaints about him.

At 90 days each and served
consecutively, that comes to almost...

78 years.

A WOR poll indicates

that the Rectifier is
a popular figure.

On Halloween some kids even
dressed up as the Rectifier.

Who cares what these morons think?

I'm the mayor, not them.

This self-styled Rectifier

is nothing but a two-bit vigilante

rationalizing his immaturity
and impotent rage

in the name of justice.

The Rectifier, I presume.

I'm sorry, is there
something you want?

Well, first I want you to pay us
for the window you broke...

$616 plus tax and installation.

Somebody broke a window?

Yes, somebody did.

You took fingerprints.

Well, these aren't mine.

And even if they were,
you would need a court order

to get my fingerprints
for comparison.

And for that you need
probable cause

which you don't have, so...

Unless you've already
been arrested

and the prints are
in the system.

On three occasions.

Yes.

Spent 30 days in the city jail

for breaking a window of a Lexus,

trying to turn off the car alarm.

You a reporter?

I write things sometimes.

I can write something about you
if you want.

No, thanks.

I'm not interested.

Fine. But if I tell the cops
and the press that you're the Rectifier

Mayor Schneer will find out.

Schneer hates you,
you know that.

- I hate him more.
- How do you know?

Schneer hates millions.

I hate one.

My hate's stronger.

Fine. I'll pay you your money.

I don't care about the money.

Then what do you care about?

What you're doing,
everybody in this city wants to do.

Only they don't have the guts.

How come you're different?

Maybe the question is,

why do people put up with it?

Because human beings are sheep.

Even if they see
the slaughterhouse,

the door's open,
waiting for them,

they go in quietly
as if they deserve it.

It's quite pathetic, actually.

Who are you?

Ekaterina Filippovna.

Nice to meet you too, Mr. Owen.

So how did you begin?

How did you get
to be the Rectifier?

By not being the Rectifier.

We'd been living in New York
for five years at that point

and I liked everything about it,

even the noise at first.

But after a while
it began to bother me.

Could you close that?

Why had I come here?

That wasn't the first time.

I did that for a couple of years

like a hobby.

Lots of things are maddening.
The tax system is maddening.

I know, I know.
What I'm saying...

You're saying.
You're always saying, David.

I'm saying what can you do
about it?

Hey, guys...

- Nothing.
- We're trying to talk.

Shut up, you bastard!

David, stop.

Come on. Come on.

No. No.

Ignore it.

Ignore it. It's not there.

- It's there.
- It's not there.

- It's there.
- David, David.

Oh, thank you, god.

Here we go. Watch this.

- Is this your car, sir?
- No, sir, it's not.

What are you doing here?

Now what
I should have said was...

These alarms have been going off
for six hours.

My kid's sick.
It's keeping her awake.

I was just disconnecting the battery
so she could get some sleep.

Look, I know how you feel,
but cars are private property.

You can't just break in.
You have to call us.

I know that.
I knew that.

But what I actually said was...

I did call you!
I called you three times.

In fact, it was only twice.

We came all three times
and the alarm wasn't going.

That's because it shuts off
for a minute every so often,

then it starts back up again.
If you'd gotten out of your car

and stuck around for more than 30
seconds you might have fucking heard it.

So instead of this...

Why don't you go on home
to your little angel,

make sure she's all right?
You don't need this mess.

- Okay.
- I'll take care of things.

- Appreciate it.
- Sure.

That's all right.
All right.

- You guys are great.
- Take care now.

...I got this.

You're gonna arrest me?
You're gonna arrest me for this?

Why don't you arrest the guy
that has that alarm,

keeping everybody up?

As soon as they
put me in jail,

in fact, the moment
they snapped on the cuffs...

- Watch your head.
- ...I felt calm,

calmer than I'd ever been
in my life.

What'd he do?

Busted into a car
whose alarm was going off.

Who's gonna take him down
to Central Booking?

The two cops
drove me down to Central Booking

and the next morning they loaded
a bunch of us into a police van

and took us over to
Manhattan Criminal Court...

...and left us
there in the van for an hour.

- What do you want, man?
- Get me a low-fat yogurt.

No one spoke.

Not one of us said a word
for the entire hour.

I'm watching this shit.

Come on, let us watch it
for chrissake.

What are they doing, man?

Why did they
change channels?

They weren't even watching.

Then I understood.

It was simply to remind us
that they were there,

that we were in their power.

What were you doing
in the red Volkswagen?

I was trying to disconnect
the car alarm.

It had been going off
for five hours.

You mean, this is the guy

who really did break into the car
to turn off the alarm?

That's what all the car thieves say
when they get caught.

Oh, that's funny.

Getting arrested was the best thing
that ever happened to me,

in the Hegelian sense.

It was the negative
that transformed me

and led to my becoming
what I in fact was.

What were you?

The Rectifier,

potentially.

Potentially?

My becoming unfolded.

Let's get out of here.

If you're a writer, what are you doing
in a furniture store?

I work for my uncle sometimes.
He lets me use his office.

Office? For what?

To track down all lunatics,
bring them to justice.

Go on.
What happened afterwards?

What did Helen say
when you came home?

I think you should
go to jail more often.

Maybe I will.

Everybody laughed

but I felt like I could be
back there tomorrow.

I used to think that there was nothing
you could do about the noise,

but once you get started it's easy.

What's hard is stopping.

So this isn't the first time?

How long have you been doing it?

A couple of years.

A couple of years?

Well, never this big.

I mean, mostly just,

you know, letting the air
our of tires,

ripping windshield wipers off cars,

stuff like that.

And you never thought to mention it?

What else don't I know?

Come on, you do things
I don't know about.

I am not breaking into cars
and going to jail.

It's like you're a delinquent
or a thug.

Oh, right, I'm a criminal.
I'm a terrorist. I'm Al-Zarqawi.

Come on, David.
We have a child.

We're supposed to be the adults.

I am the adult. I have the adult job.

I had no idea
that our life meant to so little

that you would risk it this way.
What is this all about?

What are you doing?
It doesn't make any sense.

Oh, man.

Forget it.

I guess I don't understand
why you take it all so personally.

I mean, do you...

do you think that the noise is

deliberately directed at you?

I don't think

they're out to get me.

In fact, what infuriates me
is how indifferent they all are

to me, to you, to everyone.

Close the window, you know.

Don't think about it.

I can't.

You can't close the window?

What if I want it open?

I see.

You don't want an answer.

So what do I do,
just turn on the air conditioner,

- put in earplugs?
- Yeah.

Or we can get one of those
white noise machines.

What about the other people?

- What other people?
- People in outdoor cafes,

people that work in garages,
that can't close the window,

that don't have air conditioning?

Do we have to worry
about them?

This is a problem in the world, Helen.

I know it's not as serious

as global warming
or funding for chamber music,

but it affects people every day,

tens of thousands of people,
I bet millions of people, every day.

And you just want me
to adjust to it.

What else can we do?

Helen, what if Jonas Salk
had this attitude?

What if he had this attitude
towards polio?

"Oh, it's polio, you know.
Just adjust to it."

Do you think you're
a Jonas-Salklike figure?

Okay, babe.

I love you, Jonas.

Oh, stop it. Stop it.

I'm serious. I'm serious.

You said you'd stop?

Stopping... I've stopped.

Why?

Well, Helen doesn't like it.

She thinks I'm crazy.

Which doesn't mean
you have to put up with the noise.

I put up with it.

Sometimes I snap,
but mostly I put up with it.

- We all do. We put up with worse.
- Like what?

Nuclear proliferation,

religious fanatics. The world's going
to hell, David. Haven't you noticed?

Nothing's perfect.

Nothing's perfect?

Barbara didn't get it.

I thought you were stopping.

Nobody got it.
So I tried other methods.

When I came across a car alarm
I'd write down the plate number.

I paid $150 a year for a website

that gave me access to DMV records

and I filed suit
against repeat offenders

in small claims court.

Are you with us, David?

It's a deduction
for uncollectible accounts

for the Depco default.

Line 23.

Your Honor,
the car alarms in question

have resulted in disturbance
of the peace, damage to business,

loss of income and sleep to hundreds
if not thousands of New Yorkers.

Dismissed.

Your Honor, we have neighbors,
block associations, even firefighters...

Dismissed.

...citing evidence
that above a certain level

noise can constitute
a kind of physical assault that can...

Dismissed!

This was amusing
the first time.

It had certain quixotic charm.

Now it's boring.

I'm sorry.

30 days suspended.

If I see you back here

you'll do time.

This is absurd.

It's quixotic.

That's not funny.

That house in Nyack
is still for sale.

I don't want to move to Nyack.

- We could move back to Winnetka.
- You want to go to Winnetka?

No, I...

You can't stand the noise but you
don't want to move where it's quiet.

Because it's wrong, Helen.
The noise is wrong.

I seem to be the only one
that cares.

So what, David?
Lots of things are wrong.

Just let them be wrong.

What can we do about it?

Nothing nothing nothing
nothing nothing nothing.

I want you to see a therapist.

This is not a psychological problem.
It's a social problem.

It's a political...
go ahead and get that.

It's not like we're having
a conversation or anything.

David, you are having a breakdown.

Can't you see that?

This is all you do.
This is all you talk about.

You are obsessed.

It's affecting Chris.

What do you mean?
What do you mean, it's affecting Chris?

She keeps asking,
why does daddy get so upset?

Her teacher said that she's
getting short-tempered,

wanted to know if there was
anything wrong at home.

Maybe it's a problem
with the teacher.

It is not the teacher's problem.
It is you.

You need to let this go.

Just... just let it go.

I can't, okay? I can't.

I can't.

Then leave.

Move out.

All right, we'll go to the country.

We'll...

borrow my brother's place
for the weekend,

just for the weekend

to see.

Just to see.

What is she doing?

Playing with the neighbor's dog.

What is it, a leaf blower?

Yeah.

Some towns have regulations
against them.

Not this one.

Evan says the country's quieter
but the noises seem to bother you more.

Who's Evan?

Caitlin's dad.

Look at her. She's blowing
everything into the street.

The wind's just gonna blow it
right back on.

You think she thinks
about the gasoline she's using,

the pollution, the noise?

No.

Whatever happened to rakes?

- Where are you going?
- I'm going to talk to her.

Excuse me!

Hi. Can you turn that off, please?

- What?
- Can you turn it off?

We're just here
for the weekend and...

You guys have a rake?
A rake.

- Yeah, I got a rake.
- Yeah, got a rake?

- Yeah.
- You know how to use it?

Is it the dad who hit you?

The mom.

It was mommy's fault.

Did you hit her back?

No.

"Then the sirens sang again
in their irresistible voices.

Odysseus shouted and struggled
until he was exhausted.

And when the sirens' island
was left far behind

his men released him

and drew the wax
from their ears."

Good night, honey.

Helen made it clear...
one more strike and I was out.

She wondered if I was
mature enough to have a family.

Mature enough?
Did she really say that?

She didn't mean it.
She was frightened.

Of what?

You ever been married?

No.

This is great... all your stuff.

Anyway, after that
I realized

I just had to put up with it

like everyone else.

So I did.

I put up with the power saws
that firemen started up twice a day

just to make sure
they worked.

I put up with backup beepers
going off at 5:00 in the morning

on an empty street,
their background-level sensors

malfunctioning as usual.
I put up with the ambulances,

the fire engines,
the electric sidewalk washers,

trucks that clean out furnaces,
the jackhammers,

cement pourers, piledrivers,
nail guns, boom boxes,

the shrieking subways,
those pneumatic lifts on buses.

They can scare the life out of you.

Irv? Irv, what is it?

Irv!

- Oh my god.
- Are you having chest pains?

- L.
- You have the second leg.

This is nice. What is it?

- Mozart.
- No, I meant the wine.

Do you want to split something?

- H.
- That's the last letter.

No, I'm hungry.

Do I have to get every letter
or can I just guess?

You can guess.
It's good to guess.

"Truth"!

What are you doing?
That's my car.

- Why don't you turn off the alarm?
- It'll stop in a minute.

I can't wait that long.
Where's your clicker?

It doesn't work.
What do you want me to do?

Disconnect the fucking thing
so it never goes off.

Don't be ridiculous.

Officer, Officer.

You were told
you cannot do this.

You have to call us.

- You never come.
- We're here now.

Because I broke the window.

You don't come when the cars
are attacking us,

- only when we're attacking the cars.
- The car didn't attack you.

Oh, so what you're saying...
what you're really saying is,

the car matters, we don't.
We're pieces of shit.

He's nuts.

He's not nuts. He just doesn't
understand what he's doing,

what it means in the context.

Why aren't you arresting
the real criminals...

the guys from Enron
and WorldCom and...

Is this your business, ma'am?
Move.

- Yes, this is my business.
- Move.

This is everybody's business.

Daddy, you promised.

30 days and a $10,000 fine.

And I'm making a note
on your jacket.

You show up here again

and you'll do a year.

Papi!

Hola, mi nina. Como estas?

Me hacias falta.

Hello?

Welcome back.

Judson fired me.

You packed my stuff.

Are we going on vacation
or am I moving out?

You're moving out.

Yeah, Chris!

Daddy!

I missed you so much.

- Did you get my letters?
- All five of them.

I missed you too.

I need you

to score me a goal right now.

I need you to go out there
and score me a goal, okay?

- Okay.
- Come on.

I'll be right here.

So who is it?

The guy you're seeing.

Evan.

Evan.

Who the fuck is Evan?

David...

Is it a boy or a girl?

He's Caitlin's father.

Caitlin.

Is that the fat one?

No, that's Minerva.
Caitlin's the redhead.

Oh, I like her. She's sexy.

David, she's seven.

She's sexy. It's not my fault.

I didn't say I wanted...

You know...

I swear to god,
they are the same ones...

So is the dad sexy too?

Is...

How is it with you? Do you...
Is he great?

Actually, you know what?
I don't care.

- You know what? It's fun.
- I don't really want to hear it.

You have your little thing,
I have mine.

So how long is this...

how long have you been
doing this little thing?

A week.

- A week?
- No, I'm at the soccer game.

Excuse me, you know...

- Hold on a second. Hold on.
- I don't know if you noticed,

but when you have a cell phone
you don't have to shout.

We used to have these things
called booths,

phone booths, you know...

...where you wouldn't have to
disturb everyone.

Why do you have to leave?

Well, because mom...

Mom and I think it's best

just for now.

'Cause you keep
getting in trouble?

Yeah, I guess,
more or less.

Look at that guy.

What's he doing?

Putting boats in the water.

What kind of boats?

I think they're origami boats.

- He made them out of paper.
- Cool.

Is that why they call them sirens,

because of those women?

What women, honey?

Who sang on the rocks.

Yeah, I think you're right.

Come on now.

So why can't you be
more like Odysseus?

Like him how?

He had his men tie him to the mast

so he didn't wreck the ship.

I'm sorry, honey.

You seem so calm.

Were you really okay with it...

her being with someone else?

I don't know.
Maybe I liked it.

- Why did you like it?
- I don't know.

'Cause I'm crazy.

I'm out of my fucking mind, right?

I'm kidding. I was joking.

- It's a joke.
- You're insane.

No, I'm not.
The prison shrink said I wasn't.

You know what I can't stand?
It's how angry you are all the time.

You like it.

You like being angry.

What are you so angry about?

That I'm impotent.

Not always.
Not even very often.

Not always sexually...

but always.

Always.

It's the buzzer. It's the doorbell.

The van is here for your things.

I got a place
at 24th and 6th.

Once I moved downtown

I didn't have a job, or a family,

or friends really.

All I had was the noise.

Where's my money?

Where's my fucking money, man?
I need...

Every night
the same alarm.

It wasn't a car.

It had to be one of the buildings
on the block,

but which one?

Read me back the last paragraph.

No, the one before that.

Excuse me, do you have
an alarm in this building,

a burglar alarm?

- We already have one, thanks.
- I know you have one.

No, not you.

It works fine.

That's actually
a matter of opinion.

It went off last night
for half an hour at 3:00 a.m.

- Did you know that?
- No, you can't cut that.

- The transition won't make sense.
- Hello? Hello?

- Can you hold on?
- Hi.

Why do you think it was our alarm?

I live right across the street.
I heard it go off.

It was...

Is that yours?

Yes. Yeah, I know.

If you were to set it off
I would be able to tell.

I can't do that.

But I will have the company
recalibrate it

the next time they come.

Is there a number I could call you
in case it goes off again?

- Okay, but 400, not 800.
- Take one.

Just one.

No, I cut them.
Not you, not Jerry. Me.

This is your business number.
Do you have a cell phone?

I don't have a cell phone.

I'll have it to you
by 4:00.

No, no, no, if I do it that fast,
it won't be any good.

Okay, 3:00.

Okay, bye.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

- Do you hear that?
- What?

The whistle.

Oh, yeah, that's the intercom.
It does that a lot.

- How do you get it to stop?
- Talk to the super.

How do you find the super?

I don't know.

You live here and you don't know
how to find a super?

Sometimes he's around,
sometimes he's not.

I don't know where he goes.

Doesn't bother you?

You know what does bother me?

- That manhole cover on 6th.
- What manhole cover?

You can hear it best from over here.

That's not it. There.

And there again.
You heard it?

Yeah, I hear it.

It's every time a car
comes down the street.

How could that bother you
and not the intercom?

You notice this, I notice that.

Yeah, what?

'Cause you promised it
by Monday, Jack.

Whose fault is that?

No, I didn't say Wednesday...

Yeah.

Thank you.

It was funny
how that affected me... the applause.

That's when I realized...

this was my job now, my calling.

Yeah, you have it right...
like Jonas Salk.

After that I never got caught.

I stopped being angry.

I developed a kind of intuition

where the cops would be
and where they wouldn't.

It was easy, really.

Once I gave up everything else,

I knew how to be the Rectifier.

What you've been doing is
cutting battery cables...

...which kills your basic

factory-installed device.
Two problems:

one... if the guy's got a
Nightwatch or a Convoy,

any decent aftermarket alarm,

it's got an auxiliary
power source, right,

and cutting the battery cable
won't even stop it;

and two... even if it does work,
once the cable's fixed...

...the alarm's back in business.

What about the alarm trumpet?

Alarm trumpet? No, no, no.

Those are only on older car alarms.
Now it all goes to the horn.

All right? So in this particular case
you go straight for the electronics.

It's usually right down here,

under the dash. Voila.

You know, it's funny,

the alarm right in your ear
can drive you crazy,

but the ones further away
can sound kind of nice,

sort of plaintive.

You think so?

Yeah.

Fucking son of a...

I know, I know.

But I've got an idea.
Follow my logic on this one, okay?

We piggyback on this guy.
We oppose him personally, of course,

but we support the idea, the issue.
It's very popular with the people.

You might bounce a couple of points
in the polls.

- Fuck that shit. Fuck it.
- Okay, fuck it.

See if we can use the Patriot Act
or any of the antiterrorist statutes...

- Mr. Mayor.
- ...on this piece of shit.

Mr. Mayor, we're ready.

Great.

Now?

This self-styled Rectifier

is nothing but a two-bit vigilante

rationalizing his immaturity
and impotent rage

in the name of justice.

Looks like fun.

But I'm doing it, not you.

Oh, you think it's easy for me,

I'm only a fiction? Perhaps.

But then my suffering is also
a fiction.

Your is real.

And you just sit there.

Out of the way, Katia.

The Rectifier, I presume.

It was stupid,

the whole business.

I wrecked the ship.

Let me ask you something.

The noise was driving you crazy,

so you moved
from the Upper West Side

where it's relatively quiet

down here
where it's twice as loud.

Why?

It's the one place
I could find

that I could afford.
It's near my daughter's...

Because you love
the noise.

You hate it,
but you love hating it.

- It's your muse.
- My muse?

You've read Hegel
but you haven't understood him.

I'm sick of Hegel.
I wish I'd never heard of him.

The genius of a car alarm
is that you can't talk back to it.

It has a mouth, but no ears.

It makes you pay attention to it,
but it pays none to you.

And how does that
make me love it?

Because it's safe.

You summon all your rage,

you hurl yourself at it

and nothing happens.

The whole secret of power

is to make it unresponsive.

The more arbitrary it is,

the more cruel and irrational,

the more we respect it,

the more we love it.

So what are we gonna do
about it?

You liked me right away
at my uncle's store, didn't you?

Liked you?
Is that the word?

You wanted to fuck me?

I wanted to smack you,
you were so rude.

And?

And maybe I wanted to
look at you.

That's all?

No.

And once I'd done that
I would want to do other things...

touch you,

get you aroused,

listen to you come.

Is that the same
as wanting to fuck you?

When you imagine it,

do you think about me coming
or you coming?

You.

And am I astounded

by your sexual prowess,

haunted and blasted,
weeping of pleasure?

Something like that.

So I'm the object
and you're the subject.

No, no, no,
you can't astound an object.

We're both subjects.

So I'm the object and you're the
subject?

You can't astound an object.

How can you make me come
but by rendering me an object?

I can't make you come

if you keep talking.
Stop talking.

I can't make you come
unless you agree to it.

No.

I want you to force me.

I want you to make me do
things I don't want to do.

What was that,
another notch on your belt?

We both get a notch, no?

- Hey!
- What now?

Where did you guys go?

Well, you can keep
breaking into cars

until they put you away for a year,

or we can do something real.

What do you mean by real?

Excuse me, is this
the board of elections?

I think this is
the board of elections.

Can I get the packet
for initiative petitions?

- You want to run for office?
- No.

I think they mean
the ballot initiative.

Ballot initiative?

- Yeah?
- No.

Did you mean
the citizen-initiated referendum

to amend the city charter?

You got to go to the city clerk
for that.

No, you don't.

Yes, you do.
It's right there in the book.

You can do it right here.

We've only got packets
for running for office.

Packets? What packets?
There are no packets.

Yes, there are.
And you get them from the city clerk.

You can draw up your own petition form
for people to sign.

I think we've got a sample somewhere.

How many signatures do we need
to get on the ballot?

5% of the number of city residents

who voted in the last election
for governor

or 30,000, whichever is less.

"Fewer."

So we just make one of these up
ourselves?

Yes. Don't forget to write on top
what you're petitioning for.

But you still got to file them
with city clerk.

- That's true.
- May I keep this?

Sure.

Thank you.

Get away from me.

"So as to preserve,
protect and promote

the public health,
safety and welfare

and the peace and quiet
of the inhabitants of the city,

we forbid any and all use
of car alarms

within the five boroughs
of New York City,

violations to be punished by a fine

of not less than $100 per incident."

What about backup beepers?

No, no backup beepers.

They make sense to people
and if we try to argue...

Makes sense?
They infantilize us.

They're overprotective.

Put in backup beepers.

Thank you, I've heard it,
but the alarm industry

is gonna use it to portray us
as extremists

out of touch with the general public.
We can't just...

Why do you cave in to those people?
What, are you a pussy? Come on.

Put in backup beepers.

David, do you want to
win on alarms

or do you want to lose
on alarms and backup beepers?

'Cause if you want to lose,
do it by yourself.

I'm only here to win.

- Put in the backup beepers.
- That's not funny.

Hi, I'm collecting signatures.

Signatures for the ballot.

Excuse me,
we're trying to get...

- No, I'm sorry.
- No, no, no.

Would you be willing to sign?
We're trying to get...

Sure, I'll sign.

- I got one.
- You got one?

- Yeah, I got one.
- I've got nothing.

Excuse me...

We need help.
We can't do this alone.

No, I'm in a rush, man.

It's a petition
to ban car alarms.

Who's the girl
with the dark hair?

Her name
is Gruska.

She's good.
She's getting lots of signatures.

- Would you sign it?
- Ban car alarms.

- Yes.
- Thank you.

- Please, where do I sign?
- Of course I will.

We're collecting signatures
to ban car alarms.

Ban car alarms.

Finally, the big night arrives,
opening night, right?

He's waiting in the wings. He keeps
saying the line over and over.

"Is that a cannon I hear?
Is that a cannon I hear?"

He's got it.
He knows it cold.

He's gonna fuck it up.

Well, he gets his cue.
He comes through the curtain.

He crosses the stage.
He gets hit with a spotlight.

And right as he's
about to deliver his big line...

kaboom!
There's this huge explosion.

He hits the deck. The crowd is stunned.
And what does he say?

"Jesus Christ,
what the fuck was that?"

Not bad, right?
Pretty good?

That's a good joke.
That's funny.

I can tell that to the Japanese guys.
Think they'd even get it?

Are you kidding me? They would love it.
It would work like a charm.

Good.

Did you see this yet?

They're getting a lot of signatures
on that.

Jackie says they're gonna get
that initiative on the ballot.

Son of a b...

I want to talk to this
EK Filippnova prick.

"Filippovna."

By the way, he's a she.

Pretty cute too.

You look great.

Bitch then.

I want to talk to this
EK Filippovna...

bitch.

Your initiative won't make it.
I can tell you that right now.

If you supported it, it would.

You could take the credit.

People would love you.

The Rectifier is behind this, right?

No comment.

I could call a grand jury. I could
ask you that question in front of them.

If you didn't answer
I could find you in contempt

and send you to jail.

Go ahead.

You're fucking him, aren't you?

What do you like about him?

I never met the guy,

but if I did, what I would like
is that he was alone,

everyone against him,
and he fought anyway.

I'm alone.
Everyone's against me.

Oh, you think just because
I got elected, millions of votes,

that the people are with me?

They hate me.

You know why?

Because when you're strong

you don't cave in.

When you're not a weakling
like they are,

they hate you for it.

You want to run things...
you got to be a monster.

You got to be willing
to kill people.

Who'd you kill?

No comment.

Nice people can't do it.

They get chewed up, spit out,
nothing left but a fart.

You know what I used to tell my kids
when they were little,

when they still spoke to me?

Something
would happen they didn't like

and they would say,
"Oh, that's unfair."

And I would say,
"No, don't say that's unfair.

Say that's not beautiful."

People like your boyfriend,
the Recti-fairy,

need everything beautiful.

That's why they're so helpless.

But you're not like that.

So drop that putz.
Come work with me.

I'll show you
how to run the world.

What would I do?

I don't know.
Personal advisor...

parks commissioner.

What about economic development?

What is that?

Bringing business here.

I got a Japanese contingent coming.

They would love you.

Okay.

Only if you support the initiative.

Don't waste your time on that.

That's too tiny.

Then promise you won't oppose us.

No.

- Where are you going?
- I'm going to England

to study philosophy.

So fuck you.

I wanted to thank you all
for helping out today.

We have unofficially collected

over 40,000 signatures.

That's more than 10,000
above the minimum.

But remember, at least half
will be disqualified,

so we need to get
at least 20,000 more.

- Can we do it?
- Yes, we can do it.

Shut up. Stop it. Stop it.

Come on, stop it.

You and Gruska seem to be
getting along.

- Do you like her?
- She's nice.

What about you?

What about me what?

Are you attracted to her?

She's attracted to you.

Did you talk
or are you making trouble?

We talked.

What did you talk about?

She wants to come home with us.

Is she weird or homeless?

She's sexy.

What did you say?

Dad,

mom's here.

- Put your seat belts on.
- Okay.

Take mommy's bag.

Your girlfriend's very pretty.

She's not my girlfriend.

Anyway,
you've got no complaints, right?

Bye.

Hi. Yeah.
We'll be there in 20 minutes.

Hey, we should celebrate.

Come here, David.

Yeah.

We're looking at my pussy.

Oh, good.

Hold still, please.

See? I knew it.

You have a beautiful pussy.

You have a nice one too.

No, I don't. It's ugly.

It looks like it threw up on itself
or something.

Yeah, look at it.

- What are you talking about?
- It's ugly.

What are you talking about?
Nothing is wrong.

Believe me, plenty is wrong.

Has anyone... has a man ever said
anything about it?

No. Of course not.

But it's not the point.

You want to be beautiful.

But you are beautiful,

incredibly beautiful.

Yes, thank you.

But you want to be
completely beautiful

with no flaw.

I'm happy with
how I look generally,

but my pussy spoils it.

It drags down the whole thing.

You know anyone that's perfect?

I'm discussing ideals.

I mean a beauty you cannot separate
from outward things.

I'm talking about

looking in the mirror and feeling

you're one of the angels.

Are you a beast or an angel?

Can I be a human being?

No,

because a human being

is nothing but a question,

and the question is
beast or angel,

beast or god?

You...

you're obsessing with alarms
and everything.

What do you think you're doing?

Aren't you trying to lift yourself

and everyone else

up from the bestiality
of this awful noise

to the heavenly silence?

That's beautiful.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So you want to make heaven
for the ear.

And I want to make it
for the body.

Chris says you'll make it
on the ballot.

She's very excited.

Well, it's an easy sell.

Everyone hates alarms.

I guess you're not
completely impotent after all.

Winning make you nervous?

A little.

When are you gonna come home?

When I'm finished with this.

I have to leave Friday.

Leave? For where?

Moscow, see my dad,

school in London.
You knew that.

Yeah. I didn't know
it was so soon.

We're up to 56,000 signatures,
but I want to get at least 70,000.

Yeah, I know. You told me.
You have to be here for the election.

The guys you met today are great.

They'll introduce you
to all the right people.

I'll consult by email.

You'll do fine.

I don't want to say goodbye to you.

No, it's perfect.

Your wife threw you out,

we had our little thing...

now you get to go home

a little bittersweet in the heart,

be a good father,

a good husband.

Anyway, you love Chris.

You love Helen.

You need love.

Could you pull over here, please?

I've got to pick something up.

- I'll talk to you later.
- Okay.

Thank you.

- Hi.
- What's this?

These are petition signatures.

Petitions for what?

To get an initiative
on the November ballot.

There's a charter revision
on the November ballot.

A what?

A proposal to revise
the city charter.

Okay, so?

You can't have an initiative when
there's a proposed charter revision

unless the mayor
lets them both stand.

Who proposed the charter revision?

Mayor Schneer.

- Why did he do it?
- Well, he didn't tell me,

but back in '98

when Giuliani wanted
that new stadium on the West Side

and the people in Chelsea
collected all those signatures

for an initiative against it,
Giuliani put up a charter revision

just to bump their thing
off the ballot.

Maybe Schneer's doing this

to stop that car alarm initiative.

We're the car alarm initiative.

You are?

Well, there you go.

We spent months working on this.
What is...

I hear you, baby,
but that ain't gonna help.

You got a problem?

This thing for sale?

How much?

$1500.

You got an alarm in here?

Yeah.

Could you please move
the fucking truck?

So how is it? Is it decent?

Decent? It's a piece of shit.

Perfect.

I want to put an alarm in it.

- It's already got one.
- I know. I want more.

More? How many more?

How many can it hold?

Shit, as many as will fit,

so long as the battery
has the juice to run them.

Can you customize them?

Customize them how?

I want them to go off when I want,

and I want them extra loud.

So this actor...

something happens

to his, like, memory, you know,
or he's nervous,

but he keeps flubbing his lines.

After a while

he can't get a job.

Finally,

his agent... you know, agent...

lands him a small part in a play.

It's one line...

"Hark, is that a cannon I hear?"

So every day

he's... he's practicing this line...

"Hark, is that a cannon I hear?
Hark, is that a cannon I hear?"

The play takes place in...

- Chicago.
- Chicago.

He goes to the theater.
He's putting on his costume... "Hark..."

He gets into the wings.
He's listening for his cue...

"Hark, is that a cannon I hear?"

"Hark, is that a cannon I hear?
Hark, Hark..."

He walks out onto the stage.

There is this incredible crash.
So he goes...

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that?

What the fuck is that?

Sounds like a car alarm.

Turn it off now!

What are you doing?

You mind shutting this
thing off, please?

Shut off the alarm.

- Oh, it'll go off in a minute or two.
- A minute?

It's three minutes by law,
actually.

It's been going
for 30-35 seconds, so...

- Could you open the hood, sir?
- I'm sorry?

Open the hood,
we'll disconnect the cable,

- we'll get on with our lives.
- I can't do that.

- Why?
- It's private property.

- It's a public nuisance.
- Exactly.

Open the hood!

- It'll go off in about a minute or so.
- A minute?

A minute, if the cutoff works.

In another minute that thing
is gonna fucking kill...

Tow this fucking guy.

Call the precinct.
Call towing.

Okay, let's move this thing.

Open the hood!

Let's go.

I can't hear you.

Open the fucking hood!

Can't hear you.

Want to fuck with me?
I'll fix your ass.

Can somebody please
shut that thing off?

The guy is not right.

I called a tow truck.
They'll be here in a couple of minutes.

Don't tell me two minutes.
Turn that thing off

or I'll rip it out and throw it
through the fucking windshield myself.

Is this your car?
Can you turn that thing off?

It'll go off in a couple of minutes.

- Can you turn that off?
- No, I can't, sir.

What about that controller, beeper?

I can't get it to work.

You're crazy.
Open the hood.

Open the hood.
If you could get the hood open...

- I'm trying, is locked...
- What are you doing?

- It's under control.
- Under cont...

You call this under control?
Why don't you shut off the fucking alarm?

You watch your language!

- It is private property.
- My ears are private property!

And my hearing.
My wellbeing...

is being brutalised by...

Sir, you are disturbing, in fact,
assaulting everybody in this neighbourhood.

Yes!

You should be arrested
and charged with that! - Yes!

The alarm will go off
in a couple of minutes.

A couple...

- Okay.
- Alright, come on.

Jesus, I can't hear.

Hello? Hello?

Sorry.

Take him! Take him away!

Him...
That's the Rectifier!

It is Raymond T. Gilson,
a federal judge.

Judge? Bullshit!
That's the Rectifier! Get him!

Get him!

Come on.

Hold him!

16 counts, 78 years!

Got you, got you!

Next on the docket
Raymond T. Gilson, plaintiff,

seeking damages from
David Owen, defendant.

The mayor was very upset.

In fact, he failed to close the deal
he was negotiating with the Japanese.

So, I guess, you could say
Mr. Owen cost the city 4,500 jobs.

Can you estimate the effect
of that on the tax base?

They were high-tech, high-paying
so, I would imagine

the loss would be
in the tens of millions.

My wife get terrible migranes.

This man's alarm brought on
an attack that lasted three days.

I thought he was a judge.
What's he doing in the witness' stand?

He is a judge.
He's a plaintiff in this trial.

Two judges?

Well, they shouldn't do that way,
it is too confusing.

There will be no talking from the jury.
- I was just...

making an observation.

Sorry, Your Honour.

Does the defense have any questions
for this witness? - Your Honour...

David, let me handle this...
No, I insist.

Judge Gilson,

going back to the afternoon of May 19,
when the incident in question occured...

- Don't tell me that one is a judge too!
- No, he's an idiot.

- At that time...
- They are all idiots.

Don't shush me!

I believe your have said,
and I quote:

That noise is disturbing, actually, assaulting
everybody in the neighbourhood.

I am not claiming here
that you assaulted anyone.

But you are a judge,
you understand the law.

Assault does not require an actual
physical blow, does it?

It's true.

If went up to someone, raised your arm suddenly
as though you were going to strike them,

freightened them, it feels like an attack.
That's assault...

So, legally speaking

the alarms that went off
on 5th Avenue that afternoon...

were, in fact...

an assault.

That's true.

Mr. Owen, you realise
that the evidence you are presenting

tends to support the plaintiff's case,
not your own?

Your Honour, if may I continue,
I think you will understand where I'm going.

Judge Gilson, would you agree
that your experience that afternoon

was a bit like being hit?
Being struck?

Yes, unquestionably.

So, it wasn't just assault.

It was battery as well.

Yes.

What about the grinding
of garbage trucks?

What about when when a motorcycle owner
removes the baffles...

and the sound is as loud as a jet engine
coming down your street?

- Where is he going with this?
- Some day, some day...

when we finally spend the money
on quieter garbage trucks...

which they already have
in many European countries

when we have banned
the utterly useless car alarms

and the constant assault

people will look back
on the way we live today

and they will not understand

how on Earth we
we put up with this.

Yes, and what about
these loud car stereos?

- Excuse me, what did you just say?
- Is he talking to me?

Yes, I think it is. - Mr. Owen,
we are going to have a mistrial here.

Please proceed
with your examination, Mr Owen.

- I am saying what about these car stereos...
- Boomboxes!

You can't hear yourself think!

- They should not be allowed.
- Order, please!

What about these trucks idling
in front of your window?

- The noise drives me crazy!
- Order!

Order! - ...neighbour's dryer that
shakes the whole apartment building.

- Silence in the room!
- What about the Mister Softee trucks?

They play the same song
over and over again!

- What about these manhole cover?
- ...taxi driver with their...

...neighbour learning
to play the drums?

What about the doorman
with the taxi call whistles?

What about the world?
What about the whole fucking world?

Silence!

Mr. Owen, please proceed.

That's all I have to say,
Your Honour.

Thank you for your patience.

We find for the for the plaintiff

and order Mr. Owen to pay
Judge Gilson one hundred thousand dollars.

Your Honour,
if it pleases the court...

I am sure Mr Owen and I can come
to a satisfactory arragement.

Please file a stipulation of settlement
within the next 10 days. Court is adjourned.

Congratulations, you've lost.

You lost but you won.
Now we have a precedent.

The noise can be
assault and battery.

Thank you.

- I should forget about my bill, right?
- Probably.

Excuse me!

Congratulations!

- You are an example to us all.
- Thanks.

You are a hero, daddy!

You know that freeway sign
on 131 Street?

I don't drive.

Neither do I!

It caused, like, five or six accidents,
distracting the motorists.

I'm gonna get a cab.

Plus you have that strange sign
for bananas shove in your face.

- Don't you hate that shit?
- I thought they took that down.

There is another one,
it's even worse.

We used to be able to see all these beautiful
beaux arts buildings up on riverside...

and now they are blocked
with these giant TV screens.

Do you know
what I'm going to do?

I am going to blow
the fucking thing up.

You want in?

Let's go!

You want in?

No, thanks.

Oh, I get it.

So, suddenly you are this big shot,
the rest of us don't matter.

You just go home,
cultivate your fucking garden, right?

Exactly.

Good luck.

She was right about the sign,
of course.

But I didn't want
to think about that.

Still, she reminded me
of something

that happened the first time
I was arrested

back in the 24th precinct.

What'd he do?

Busted into a car
whose alarm was going off.

Who's gonna take him down
to Central Booking?

Broke into a car because
the alarm was going off?

Jesus Christ!
What if everybody did that?

If everybody did that, people would turn off
their damn alarms now, wouldn't they?