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1
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:19,814
End of the line.
2
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,560
Are you
the comedian?
3
00:01:32,594 --> 00:01:33,661
Guilty.
4
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:50,444
And who might you be?
5
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:53,246
Oh, uh, I'm Stephanie
from Ha Ha's.
6
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,282
My uncle Phil sent me
to pick you up.
7
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,658
- I don't think you're supposed to do that.
-Do what?
8
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,193
Have open liquor while driving!
9
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:07,829
I'm not driving.
10
00:02:17,739 --> 00:02:20,808
- Here we are.
- -What happened to the Holiday Inn?
11
00:02:20,842 --> 00:02:22,910
My uncle
got a better deal here.
12
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,180
Just tell them
you're the comedian.
13
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,884
The-- the show is at 8:00.
Should I pick you up at 7:00?
14
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:33,688
- Fifty.
- -It takes ten minutes to get there.
15
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:34,922
Exactly.
16
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,458
Are you ready
for your headliner?
17
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,728
Awesome.
18
00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:43,798
Now, it's a real pleasure
for me to introduce this man.
19
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,533
Real legend.
20
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,502
Please welcome
the Road Dog himself:
21
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,770
Jimmy Quinn!
22
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,374
Hey, keep it going for, uh...
23
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,745
a truly insignificant comedian
24
00:02:57,779 --> 00:02:59,881
whose name escapes me.
25
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,885
My name is Jimmy,
and I'm an alcoholic.
26
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,454
Wrong room?
27
00:03:30,912 --> 00:03:33,213
Go away!
28
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:34,982
I don't need any towels.
29
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:40,688
No moleste.
30
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,791
I'm not the maid!
31
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,864
God damn it.
32
00:03:59,741 --> 00:04:01,609
What the fuck do you want?
33
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,511
Uh...
34
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:04,779
I'm your son.
35
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,115
One more time.
36
00:04:42,784 --> 00:04:44,552
I-- I'm your son, David.
37
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:49,557
Fair enough.
38
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:52,425
What can I do for you?
39
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,929
Well, you know,
I-- I just want to meet you.
40
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:57,598
All right.
41
00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:00,467
Can I take you to lunch?
42
00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:04,371
It's a little early for lunch.
43
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,741
It's three in the afternoon.
44
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,043
Ugh.
45
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,613
All right.
Just give me a minute.
46
00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:14,882
Okay, yeah.
I'll just, uh, just...
47
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,084
...wait out here.
48
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,628
So, uh, you hungry?
49
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:35,036
I'm not really a big eater.
50
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:37,004
Right, yeah.
51
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,709
I'm sorry, kid.
52
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:45,613
You got to understand,
this is a lot to process.
53
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,049
I'm sure I'm not
what you expected.
54
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,818
Actually, you're exactly
what I expected.
55
00:05:50,852 --> 00:05:55,056
Uh, my mom was
very descriptive of you.
56
00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:57,825
Yeah? So how's she?
57
00:05:57,859 --> 00:05:59,760
She's good.
58
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:02,063
Still married
to that plastic surgeon?
59
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:04,565
Yeah. Almost 20 years.
60
00:06:04,599 --> 00:06:07,001
Well, good for her.
She deserves it.
61
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,639
Even if she is
a giant sack of nag.
62
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:19,647
Sorry. I shouldn't talk bad
about your mother like that,
but...
63
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,449
she and I
didn't really get along.
64
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:25,186
Yeah, she doesn't have good
things to say about you either.
65
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:29,389
Y'all ready to order?
66
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,392
Yeah, I'll have the,
uh, club sandwich.
67
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,695
All right. And yourself?
68
00:06:34,729 --> 00:06:36,530
Uh, the...
69
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,568
"Breakfast-ival Plate"?
70
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:44,739
I'm sorry, darlin', but we stop
serving breakfast at 11:00.
71
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:49,010
Really? After you made me say
that?
72
00:06:49,043 --> 00:06:51,579
All right, I'll just have
whatever the kid's having.
73
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:55,049
-All right, two clubs.
Anything to drink?
-Um, just water.
74
00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:57,752
Yeah, uh, do you serve beer?
75
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,654
No, sir.
76
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,421
Would you like water?
77
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:04,558
Water. Yeah.
78
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:08,428
- I'll give it a shot.
- All right.
I'll be right back.
79
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:11,966
It's a little early in
the morning to hear that voice.
80
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,575
So...
81
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:22,843
how'd you find me?
82
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:27,081
I, like, looked you up online.
You know, the club
had a website.
83
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,518
I just went over there,
and they told me where you were.
84
00:07:31,686 --> 00:07:34,555
Again, I'm sorry, but...
85
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:37,024
I don't know
the slightest thing about you.
86
00:07:37,058 --> 00:07:39,459
I haven't seen you
since you were a little kid.
87
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,862
Yeah, I-- I have
no memory of you at all.
88
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,598
-That's exact--
that's what I'm saying.
-Okay, well, okay.
89
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,567
I didn't come here
to give you shit, okay?
90
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,069
I really did just
want to meet you.
91
00:07:48,102 --> 00:07:49,904
And I was on my way to New York.
92
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,672
You're on the way.
93
00:07:51,706 --> 00:07:52,807
So I thought, why not?
94
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:56,243
New York? What's out there?
95
00:07:56,277 --> 00:07:58,779
Well, I actually
want to be a comedian.
96
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,817
Yeah, I was going to crash
on a friend's couch
97
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,085
until I find a place.
98
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,823
Are you funny?
99
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,492
I mean, I do open mics
for a couple of years,
100
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,762
and I won
a contest at my school.
101
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:17,598
Then you must be hilarious.
102
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,066
Yeah, I was in medical school,
103
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,536
until I dropped out last week.
104
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,138
Why would you do that?
105
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,007
Well, I told you.
I want to be comedian.
106
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,743
Maybe it's genetic.
107
00:08:32,213 --> 00:08:34,882
I don't know.
What's your mother
think about all this?
108
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:38,819
As long as she doesn't know
I dropped out of school,
109
00:08:38,853 --> 00:08:39,887
we're good.
110
00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,826
-There you go.
-Ah, thank you.
111
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,828
And I'm just gonna
leave this right here.
112
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:49,764
Let me know
if you need anything else.
113
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,532
All right, thanks.
114
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,702
So you have any plans for today?
115
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:58,739
Guess at some point I better
start working on my set.
116
00:08:58,773 --> 00:09:01,142
I was thinking maybe
I'd come see your show tonight,
117
00:09:01,175 --> 00:09:04,111
if that's okay. I got a spot
at the Holiday Inn. Um...
118
00:09:04,145 --> 00:09:07,081
Pick you up, say, before 8:00?
119
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,884
Sure.
120
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:12,987
All right, cool.
121
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,122
No, I got this.
122
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:25,933
...taught by years and pounds.
123
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,301
Trade this thing in.
124
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,403
I just...
125
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,807
Your old man's
pretty funny, huh?
126
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,241
Oh, yeah.
127
00:09:34,275 --> 00:09:37,812
I've been booking Jimmy
20 years now.
128
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:41,015
I have seen 'em all,
and he is one of the best.
129
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,650
Two women walked out of the show
130
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,618
and complained to the manager
131
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:47,288
that I was drunk on stage.
132
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,923
I mean,
133
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:51,158
I'm not driving a bus,
motherfucker.
134
00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:53,194
I'm a comedian.
135
00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:54,895
The jokes are coming out.
136
00:09:54,929 --> 00:09:57,631
I'm saying the same words
as if I was sober.
137
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,834
Too bad the business
ain't what it used to be.
138
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:02,103
Uh-huh.
139
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:06,841
Never told me he had a kid.
140
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:13,314
Folks, don't take any of this
stuff too seriously 'cause
141
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,683
I don't know
if anyone ever told you,
142
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:18,652
spoiler alert,
You die in the end.
143
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:21,255
So, don't take any shit.
Have a great night.
144
00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:29,063
Thank you.
Jimmy Quinn, everybody.
145
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:32,032
Hey, that was awesome!
Like, the way you
worked the crowd.
146
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:35,002
It wasn't even like you were
telling jokes, but still funny.
147
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,804
Thanks, kid.
148
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,706
Hey, uh, I want--
149
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,875
I want to talk to you
about this little
150
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:44,044
-New York adventure
you're gonna do.
-Yeah?
151
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,881
What do you say we, uh,
spend a little bit more
time together?
152
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,649
Yeah, what do you mean?
153
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,985
Well, I got a gig
coming up in South Bend,
154
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,853
and I thought maybe
you'd tag along,
155
00:10:52,887 --> 00:10:56,023
show you the ropes,
maybe get you some stage time.
156
00:10:56,056 --> 00:11:00,027
Oh, man, well,
I don't have to be in New York
at any specific time, so...
157
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,763
All right, then it's on.
We'll have some goofs.
158
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,865
I'll show you what
the road's really like.
159
00:11:04,899 --> 00:11:07,334
-Great. Yeah, that'll be fun.
-All right, hang out here.
160
00:11:07,368 --> 00:11:09,436
-I gotta get paid from Phil.
-All right, cool.
161
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,441
You got a nice kid there.
162
00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:16,277
Yeah.
163
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:18,312
Certainly thinks highly of you.
164
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,981
Yeah. He doesn't know me
that well, Phil.
165
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,152
How you feeling, Jimmy?
166
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:26,887
I'm surviving.
167
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,524
You-- you look
a little worn out.
168
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:34,061
I'm a road comic. I am worn out.
169
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,963
So what's the take?
170
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,299
It's 500.
171
00:11:38,332 --> 00:11:40,334
Of course we have your bar tab,
172
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,870
which I knocked down
to an even 100.
173
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:47,441
And there's the 20
you borrowed from my niece.
174
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,743
That brings it to 380.
175
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,412
Geez.
176
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:54,148
I made more as an opener
30 years ago.
177
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,350
Listen, Jimmy, I...
178
00:11:56,383 --> 00:12:00,821
I'm afraid I...
can't give you any...
more dates.
179
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,992
We're closing
at the end of the month.
180
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,262
-Closing?
-Yeah.
181
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,232
Comedy's just not cutting it
any more and I...
182
00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:13,300
I got an offer on the place.
183
00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:17,972
They want to turn it
into a friggin' sports bar
or something.
184
00:12:19,073 --> 00:12:20,508
I just couldn't say no.
185
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,879
Well, another one
bites the dust.
186
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:31,085
I don't know what to say,
but, you know,
187
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,254
thanks for all the years, Phil.
188
00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:35,389
And listen, Jimmy,
189
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,424
you take care of yourself, huh?
190
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,426
-I'll try.
-Okay.
191
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,901
All right, off to South Bend?
192
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:50,170
Let's do it.
193
00:13:20,034 --> 00:13:21,368
I had a thought.
194
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:26,574
Know where we can
score any ketamine?
195
00:13:26,608 --> 00:13:27,908
What?
196
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:31,245
I'm just fucking with you.
197
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,914
No, I was thinking, uh,
198
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:36,183
we have a few days
before South Bend, do you...
199
00:13:37,318 --> 00:13:40,387
-want to take a little detour?
-Yeah, where?
200
00:13:40,421 --> 00:13:44,158
I want to show you the first
place I ever did stand-up.
201
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,926
It's just outside of Chicago.
202
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:49,096
Uh,
I can chuck you some gas money.
203
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,332
Maybe get a motel for us.
204
00:13:51,365 --> 00:13:54,068
Oh, you're fine.
I got my mom's credit cards.
205
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,971
Fuck it, then.
We'll get the penthouse suite.
206
00:14:19,393 --> 00:14:21,596
Oh, you're starting early, huh?
207
00:14:21,629 --> 00:14:23,397
It's my day off.
208
00:14:31,673 --> 00:14:34,041
Sure beats the hell
out of the bus.
209
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,377
Yeah, I bet.
210
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:42,082
You know, I was wondering,
uh, how come you never
made it on TV?
211
00:14:42,116 --> 00:14:46,588
You know, like, I think
you're way funnier than a lot
of those guys that made it big.
212
00:14:46,621 --> 00:14:50,592
That shit you see on TV
isn't real comedy.
213
00:14:50,625 --> 00:14:54,161
Real comedy's live.
You know, in the moment.
214
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,563
If shit goes wrong,
215
00:14:55,597 --> 00:14:57,699
people yell shit out,
you roll with it.
216
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,402
Anything can happen.
217
00:15:01,435 --> 00:15:05,573
Stuff you see on TV
is all pre-scripted.
218
00:15:05,607 --> 00:15:08,643
You have to do it
the way they want you to do it.
219
00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:11,111
Yeah, but you know,
you're still doing your act
220
00:15:11,145 --> 00:15:13,113
and you can be seen
by more people.
221
00:15:13,147 --> 00:15:16,049
That's gotta help with, you
know, bookings and money, right?
222
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,920
You want money,
you stay in med school.
223
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,456
You don't get into comedy
for money.
224
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,660
And if you really
want to do this,
you have to make a decision.
225
00:15:25,693 --> 00:15:30,130
Do you-- do you want to be some
shiny game show host comic
on TV,
226
00:15:30,164 --> 00:15:34,067
or do you want to be a real
legitimate, great stand-up?
227
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,539
There's guys on TV
who are funny.
228
00:15:37,572 --> 00:15:39,306
Name two.
229
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,108
Listen,
230
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:45,412
I haven't had a day job
in over 30 years.
231
00:15:45,446 --> 00:15:47,549
I go on that stage,
I'm the talent,
232
00:15:47,582 --> 00:15:50,317
I'm the writer,
I'm the director.
233
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:54,488
I go up, I work an hour a night
with a cocktail in my hand.
234
00:15:54,522 --> 00:15:56,524
And if the customer
doesn't like it,
235
00:15:56,558 --> 00:15:59,960
I tell the customer
to go fuck himself.
236
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,529
Top that for a living.
237
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,399
Yeah.
238
00:16:36,798 --> 00:16:39,032
This is where you started?
239
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,803
That's where--
where it used to be.
240
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:46,273
It was a little hole in the wall
called The Purple Fox.
241
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,475
It wasn't much, but, uh...
242
00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:51,078
basically where my life
got started.
243
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:54,616
Well, how'd you start here?
I thought you grew up in Boston.
244
00:16:54,649 --> 00:16:59,119
I left early.
I left when I was 17,
joined the Navy.
245
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:02,222
Came out here for boot camp.
Lasted for about six weeks,
246
00:17:02,256 --> 00:17:05,492
and they had enough of me,
so then I just bummed around.
247
00:17:05,527 --> 00:17:08,730
Got a job here as a fry cook
at The Fox, and...
248
00:17:08,763 --> 00:17:10,565
we started doing stand-up.
249
00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:13,233
Comedy night turned into
five nights a week
250
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:16,771
and I'd just sit in the back
stoned and watch comics going,
251
00:17:16,804 --> 00:17:18,405
"I could do this shit."
252
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,742
What was your first time like?
253
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:26,781
First night was, uh,
it was Labor Day weekend,
so the place is packed.
254
00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:28,415
And I was terrified.
255
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,485
I just hammered shots
to loosen up.
256
00:17:31,519 --> 00:17:33,688
And I went on stage.
257
00:17:33,721 --> 00:17:36,123
And I had nothing.
And I was dying.
258
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,492
And I made the classic mistake
that comics make.
259
00:17:38,526 --> 00:17:41,829
And I asked the audience,
"Hey, what do you guys
wanna talk about?"
260
00:17:41,863 --> 00:17:45,165
And some beautiful asshole
in the back yells out,
261
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,334
"Talk about sex!"
262
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,737
And I said the first thing
that went through my head,
263
00:17:49,771 --> 00:17:52,406
I said, "Your parents
shouldn't have had any!"
264
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,677
It wasn't genius, but it killed.
265
00:17:55,710 --> 00:17:57,645
So after that I was hooked.
266
00:18:00,715 --> 00:18:03,283
There ought to be a plaque here.
267
00:18:03,317 --> 00:18:05,587
A lot of funny comics
started here.
268
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:06,688
Like who?
269
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,190
Uh, Emo Philips.
270
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,627
Uh, Larry Reeb.
271
00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:14,629
Paul Kelly.
272
00:18:14,662 --> 00:18:15,830
Will Richards.
273
00:18:15,863 --> 00:18:17,331
Will Richards?
274
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,733
He started here?
275
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:21,536
Yeah, he was my opening act.
276
00:18:21,569 --> 00:18:22,870
I give him his start.
277
00:18:22,904 --> 00:18:24,204
Really?
278
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,775
Yeah, really.
279
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,414
There's an open mic
in the city tonight
280
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,149
I'm gonna go perform at.
281
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,886
You wanna come with?
Maybe even do a set?
282
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:42,890
Nah,
I'm just gonna sprawl out here
283
00:18:42,924 --> 00:18:45,459
and work on some material,
maybe.
284
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,562
But you go ahead.
285
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,366
All right.
286
00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,406
Well, let me know
if you change your mind.
287
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,576
I can come back and get you.
Just give me a call.
288
00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:06,146
I got everything
I need right here, but...
289
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,247
have fun.
290
00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:09,751
Okay.
291
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,749
You're a fucking idiot.
292
00:20:19,587 --> 00:20:21,656
Um, room 249.
293
00:20:21,689 --> 00:20:25,927
Right, that was a--
a non-smoking room?
294
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:31,465
Uh, yeah.
You might find there's a
little problem with the mirror.
295
00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:33,735
Oh, I'm sorry.
296
00:20:33,768 --> 00:20:34,836
What was the problem?
297
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,605
Uh, just like
a slight crack in it.
298
00:20:37,638 --> 00:20:38,873
Uh-huh.
299
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,475
Um, how did that happen?
300
00:20:42,744 --> 00:20:44,746
I just look terrible
in the morning.
301
00:20:44,779 --> 00:20:47,447
I-- I doubt that.
302
00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:50,518
So is, uh...
303
00:20:50,551 --> 00:20:51,986
is that gonna cost
a lot of money,
304
00:20:52,019 --> 00:20:53,054
Heather?
305
00:20:54,689 --> 00:20:58,291
I am sure it was like that
when you checked in.
306
00:20:58,325 --> 00:20:59,861
Yeah.
307
00:20:59,894 --> 00:21:02,329
You are all set. Um...
308
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,699
please come back
and see us soon.
309
00:21:04,732 --> 00:21:06,567
Thanks. I hope to.
310
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,804
Nicely done.
311
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:16,944
So I, uh, got up
at that open mic last night.
312
00:21:16,978 --> 00:21:20,815
-Fantastic.
-Yeah, I wish
you could've been there.
313
00:21:20,848 --> 00:21:23,518
So, uh, who was that
with you in that picture?
314
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:30,057
Oh, that was just, uh,
just a girl.
315
00:21:30,091 --> 00:21:32,593
Nosy feller, aren't ya?
316
00:21:32,627 --> 00:21:36,731
Well, you guys
look really happy.
Was it, you know, serious?
317
00:21:36,764 --> 00:21:38,800
Define "happy."
318
00:21:38,833 --> 00:21:41,401
But, uh, that was
a long time ago.
319
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:46,339
Well... ...you don't
wanna talk about the picture.
That's-- that's fine.
320
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,441
Did it have anything to do
with the broken mirror?
321
00:21:51,712 --> 00:21:53,548
-Shit.
-Who is it?
322
00:21:53,581 --> 00:21:54,816
It's Mom.
323
00:21:54,849 --> 00:21:56,050
Ugh!
324
00:21:58,686 --> 00:22:00,087
Hey, Mom.
325
00:22:00,121 --> 00:22:02,023
Good!
326
00:22:02,056 --> 00:22:04,391
Yeah, here just studying.
327
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:05,593
Where?
328
00:22:05,626 --> 00:22:07,494
Uh, in my dorm room, you know?
329
00:22:07,528 --> 00:22:09,730
-Where else would I be?
-Oh, yeah? Really?
330
00:22:09,764 --> 00:22:11,632
Because I just left
your dorm room,
331
00:22:11,666 --> 00:22:13,734
and unless you're napping
in the mini fridge,
332
00:22:13,768 --> 00:22:16,070
I didn't see you.
As a matter of fact,
333
00:22:16,103 --> 00:22:19,774
your roommate, Rajesh told me
you dropped out of school.
334
00:22:19,807 --> 00:22:21,943
Do you mind telling me
where you are?
335
00:22:21,976 --> 00:22:23,978
And just what the hell
is going on?
336
00:22:25,613 --> 00:22:28,516
Uh, well, you know what?
337
00:22:28,549 --> 00:22:31,384
Yeah. Yeah, I did drop out
of school to become a comedian.
338
00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:34,121
And, in fact, I'm here right now
339
00:22:34,155 --> 00:22:35,756
with someone you may know.
340
00:22:36,991 --> 00:22:41,494
-Your ex, my dad, Jimmy.
-What?
341
00:22:41,529 --> 00:22:44,732
In fact, we're right--
right now we're on our way
to South Bend
342
00:22:44,765 --> 00:22:46,567
where Jimmy's
performing tonight.
343
00:22:46,601 --> 00:22:49,070
Put him on the phone
this second!
344
00:22:50,638 --> 00:22:53,674
Um, she's really excited
to talk to you.
345
00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:54,876
Oh, joy.
346
00:23:00,681 --> 00:23:03,117
Hello, Denise. How you been?
347
00:23:03,150 --> 00:23:05,119
I don't know what you
think you're doing,
348
00:23:05,152 --> 00:23:07,788
but you send him back
this instant.
349
00:23:07,822 --> 00:23:10,024
Hey, I-- I had nothing
to do with this.
350
00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,459
-He showed up at my door--
-Shut up!
351
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:14,862
Do you honestly think I'm gonna
let you drag him down
352
00:23:14,896 --> 00:23:16,797
into the gutter
and be a loser like you
353
00:23:16,831 --> 00:23:18,199
for the rest of his life?
354
00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:21,802
He's a big boy, Denise.
He can make his own decision.
355
00:23:21,836 --> 00:23:24,138
I should've known you had
something to do with this!
356
00:23:24,171 --> 00:23:27,842
You bring nothing
but destruction
to everything you touch!
357
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:30,044
Well, you're not
gonna ruin his life
358
00:23:30,077 --> 00:23:32,813
any more than you already have.
359
00:23:32,847 --> 00:23:35,182
All right, Denise, it was
a pleasure talking to you.
360
00:23:35,216 --> 00:23:37,450
I'm gonna turn you
back over to David now.
361
00:23:37,484 --> 00:23:39,787
But we should--
we should talk again real soon.
362
00:23:39,820 --> 00:23:40,955
Bye-bye now.
363
00:23:43,024 --> 00:23:44,825
Hey, Mom?
364
00:23:44,859 --> 00:23:48,529
Mom, yeah.
Yeah-- 'Kay-- Calm down, Mom.
365
00:23:48,562 --> 00:23:51,799
You know I wanna do this, okay?
You know I wanna be a comedian.
366
00:23:51,832 --> 00:23:54,035
And I wanna spend some time
with Jimmy. You know,
367
00:23:54,068 --> 00:23:56,003
-just learn from him.
-Learn from him?
368
00:23:56,037 --> 00:23:59,740
Mom, come on! You know-- you
know I wanna do this. Come on.
369
00:23:59,774 --> 00:24:02,009
Let me tell you something
about this man.
370
00:24:02,043 --> 00:24:03,945
I know him.
371
00:24:03,978 --> 00:24:06,213
You don't.
372
00:24:06,247 --> 00:24:08,916
He only cares about himself.
373
00:24:08,950 --> 00:24:11,552
If you get close to him,
you're going to wind up hurt--
374
00:24:11,585 --> 00:24:14,822
Okay, Mom?
I'm gonna call you back when
you get a chance to calm down.
375
00:24:14,855 --> 00:24:17,091
But you gotta understand,
I'm gonna be a comedian.
376
00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:19,927
This is what I'm doing. There's
nothing you can do about it.
377
00:24:19,961 --> 00:24:22,263
Okay? I love you. Bye.
378
00:24:24,832 --> 00:24:26,867
Okay, well, uh...
379
00:24:26,901 --> 00:24:28,235
I think that went well.
380
00:24:29,270 --> 00:24:31,706
"And there's nothing
you can do about it!"
381
00:24:31,739 --> 00:24:34,041
That was a power move.
382
00:24:34,075 --> 00:24:36,610
Yeah, and she'll
come around, you know.
383
00:24:37,645 --> 00:24:40,147
You know, I never found out
how you two met.
384
00:24:40,181 --> 00:24:42,950
Oh, your mother.
Yeah, she, uh...
385
00:24:42,984 --> 00:24:46,020
she used to work out of
a brothel on the South Side.
386
00:24:46,053 --> 00:24:47,855
Mostly like, fetish stuff.
387
00:24:47,888 --> 00:24:50,825
She was, you know,
S&M, water sports,
388
00:24:50,858 --> 00:24:52,193
ass play.
389
00:24:52,226 --> 00:24:54,729
Yeah, discount.
390
00:24:54,762 --> 00:24:56,597
I'm fucking with you.
391
00:24:56,630 --> 00:24:59,767
She was a-- she was a waitress
at a comedy club.
392
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,068
Mom was a waitress?
393
00:25:01,102 --> 00:25:02,770
-Really?
-She never told you that?
394
00:25:02,803 --> 00:25:05,940
No. I mean, she's married
to a surgeon, so...
395
00:25:05,973 --> 00:25:08,042
She was a waitress
and we'd hook up
396
00:25:08,075 --> 00:25:10,945
when I came to town
and fool around.
397
00:25:10,978 --> 00:25:14,248
And long story short, one day
she called me up and, uh,
398
00:25:14,281 --> 00:25:17,752
said she was in
the "family way," as she put it.
399
00:25:17,785 --> 00:25:22,156
And, uh,
so I just jumped the gun
and married her.
400
00:25:22,189 --> 00:25:25,693
Probably mostly
for the story value, but, uh,
401
00:25:25,726 --> 00:25:27,028
it didn't work out.
402
00:25:27,061 --> 00:25:28,195
She, uh...
403
00:25:30,264 --> 00:25:31,699
gave it a shot.
404
00:25:31,732 --> 00:25:33,200
How long were you guys together?
405
00:25:33,234 --> 00:25:35,136
A while. Like...
406
00:25:35,169 --> 00:25:37,004
two, three months.
407
00:25:38,105 --> 00:25:40,775
She got tired of my shit
pretty quick and, uh,
408
00:25:40,808 --> 00:25:42,109
told me to beat feet.
409
00:25:43,711 --> 00:25:45,679
That's all right. We weren't--
410
00:25:45,713 --> 00:25:48,949
we didn't really see
eye to eye on a lot of stuff.
411
00:25:48,983 --> 00:25:53,187
And honestly, monogamy was
never really my strong suit,
412
00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:55,823
and chicks tend to frown
on that.
413
00:25:55,856 --> 00:25:57,758
Yeah.
414
00:25:57,792 --> 00:26:00,027
I'm still trying to picture
Mom as a waitress.
415
00:26:00,061 --> 00:26:02,830
I'm sorry.
The card was declined.
416
00:26:02,863 --> 00:26:04,598
Oh, it must be a mistake.
417
00:26:04,632 --> 00:26:06,033
Can you run it again?
418
00:26:06,067 --> 00:26:08,602
I already
tried it twice.
419
00:26:08,636 --> 00:26:12,039
I guess there was something
your mother could do about it.
420
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,109
We'll be paying cash.
421
00:26:21,982 --> 00:26:23,784
- Boo!
- Oh!
422
00:26:23,818 --> 00:26:26,187
There he is,
the Road Dog himself.
423
00:26:27,321 --> 00:26:29,723
-How you doing, Jay?
-Hanging in there.
424
00:26:29,757 --> 00:26:31,225
Things ain't what
they used to be.
425
00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:33,661
Hey, this, uh, this is David.
426
00:26:33,694 --> 00:26:35,996
This is, uh... my boy.
427
00:26:36,030 --> 00:26:38,099
I'm his father,
if you can believe that.
428
00:26:38,132 --> 00:26:39,900
In sperm only.
429
00:26:39,934 --> 00:26:43,003
Get outta here.
Well, wonders never cease.
430
00:26:43,037 --> 00:26:45,773
-Good to meet you, kid.
-Nice to meet you, man.
431
00:26:45,806 --> 00:26:47,842
Jimmy!
432
00:26:47,875 --> 00:26:51,045
-Holy shit. Mikey,
what are you doing here?
-How you doing?
433
00:26:51,078 --> 00:26:54,281
-Oh, my God.
Are you on the show?
-I'm MCing.
434
00:26:54,315 --> 00:26:57,151
I heard you were coming to town.
I forced Jay to put me on it.
435
00:26:57,184 --> 00:26:59,086
- Fantastic.
- Yeah.
436
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:02,656
God, it's... what, 17 years?
437
00:27:02,690 --> 00:27:05,126
- Yeah, 17 years.
- How you doing?
438
00:27:05,159 --> 00:27:09,797
You know, I'm, uh,
I'm-- I'm still here.
439
00:27:09,830 --> 00:27:12,233
-A lot of guys can't say that.
-That's true.
440
00:27:12,266 --> 00:27:15,202
Uh, this is David.
This is my son.
441
00:27:15,236 --> 00:27:16,971
David?
442
00:27:17,004 --> 00:27:19,740
No, the kid from the waitress?
443
00:27:19,773 --> 00:27:21,876
No. He's too old!
444
00:27:21,909 --> 00:27:23,711
Time flies. That's him.
445
00:27:23,744 --> 00:27:25,980
Whoa! Nice to meet you.
446
00:27:26,013 --> 00:27:28,082
-How you doing?
-Nice to meet you, man.
447
00:27:28,115 --> 00:27:30,718
Me and your dad, we go way back.
448
00:27:30,751 --> 00:27:33,254
- Let's catch up later.
- Yeah.
449
00:27:33,287 --> 00:27:36,757
Yeah. Let me, uh--
let me get your intro.
What do you want me to say?
450
00:27:36,790 --> 00:27:38,192
I got your intro.
451
00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:43,864
Yeah, he's funny, huh?
452
00:27:43,898 --> 00:27:45,866
Yeah. Just wait.
453
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:48,135
Uh, so I'm dating
this girl named Wendy.
454
00:27:48,169 --> 00:27:51,238
And I'm trying to slip her
the Whopper, and she's like,
455
00:27:52,206 --> 00:27:53,874
"Where's the beef?"
456
00:27:55,109 --> 00:27:56,410
"Where's the beef?"
457
00:27:58,445 --> 00:28:00,948
Remember? Uh, by the way,
458
00:28:00,981 --> 00:28:03,918
I'll be selling these
after the show: $15.
459
00:28:03,951 --> 00:28:05,486
Uh, only got a few left.
460
00:28:06,987 --> 00:28:08,389
You ready for your headliner?
461
00:28:08,422 --> 00:28:10,090
All right,
462
00:28:10,124 --> 00:28:11,859
let's get some energy
going here.
463
00:28:11,892 --> 00:28:13,460
This next guy
coming on the stage,
464
00:28:13,494 --> 00:28:16,263
you're all here to see him.
He's The Road Dog.
465
00:28:16,297 --> 00:28:18,232
He's been doing it
for over 30 years.
466
00:28:18,265 --> 00:28:21,302
Killing!
Please welcome my good friend,
467
00:28:21,335 --> 00:28:22,803
Jimmy Quinn!
468
00:28:28,475 --> 00:28:30,244
Keep it going for Mikey, people!
469
00:28:30,277 --> 00:28:32,246
Come on!
470
00:28:32,279 --> 00:28:33,881
Give it up!
471
00:28:33,914 --> 00:28:35,983
He should.
472
00:28:36,016 --> 00:28:37,952
I've been
busting my balls, Jimmy.
473
00:28:37,985 --> 00:28:41,855
Single-handedly keeping
"where's the beef?" jokes alive
474
00:28:41,889 --> 00:28:44,725
into the new millennium.
475
00:28:44,758 --> 00:28:47,394
Your act has fallen
and it can't get up.
476
00:28:49,531 --> 00:28:52,399
Anyway, my name is Jimmy,
and I'm an alcoholic.
477
00:28:52,433 --> 00:28:54,168
Jimmy, you're still the best.
478
00:28:54,201 --> 00:28:55,903
-Aw, thanks, Mikey.
-Yeah.
479
00:28:55,936 --> 00:28:57,938
You staying at the, uh, condo?
480
00:28:57,972 --> 00:29:01,375
-No, no. I, uh, I live here now.
-Oh.
481
00:29:01,408 --> 00:29:03,511
So-- But I'll swing by,
we can shoot the shit.
482
00:29:03,545 --> 00:29:06,313
-Sounds great.
See you over there.
-Okay. See you over there.
483
00:29:06,347 --> 00:29:07,848
See ya, man.
484
00:29:07,881 --> 00:29:10,451
-Good show.
-Yeah.
485
00:29:10,484 --> 00:29:13,320
Hey, Jimmy, don't forget
about the church show tomorrow.
486
00:29:13,354 --> 00:29:15,956
-What?
-Oh, come on.
We talked about this.
487
00:29:15,990 --> 00:29:17,391
I got you a church gig tomorrow.
488
00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:18,959
It's an extra 250.
489
00:29:18,993 --> 00:29:20,327
You just got to keep it clean.
490
00:29:21,295 --> 00:29:24,465
-I didn't agree
to any church show.
-What are you talking about?
491
00:29:24,498 --> 00:29:27,101
On the phone last week,
you said you were fine with it.
492
00:29:27,134 --> 00:29:29,903
I have zero recollection
of that conversation.
493
00:29:29,937 --> 00:29:32,273
Look,
you only gotta do 20 minutes.
494
00:29:32,306 --> 00:29:34,208
You get in, you get out.
495
00:29:34,241 --> 00:29:36,910
See Pastor Bennett when you're
done. He'll pay you after.
496
00:29:36,944 --> 00:29:39,213
Keep it clean. Good show.
497
00:29:43,551 --> 00:29:46,020
You remember
Hot Springs, Arkansas?
498
00:29:46,053 --> 00:29:47,888
No, not really.
499
00:29:47,921 --> 00:29:49,957
Yeah. Yeah, you do.
500
00:29:49,990 --> 00:29:51,191
It was a convention.
501
00:29:51,225 --> 00:29:53,093
It was like Avon or Mary Kay.
502
00:29:53,127 --> 00:29:55,462
It was a bunch of
overly made-up housewives
503
00:29:55,496 --> 00:29:57,231
without their husbands.
504
00:29:57,264 --> 00:29:59,166
Shit shows, but...
505
00:29:59,199 --> 00:30:01,402
I got laid every night
that week.
506
00:30:01,435 --> 00:30:03,804
Those were the days, man.
507
00:30:03,837 --> 00:30:05,139
Those were the days.
508
00:30:08,142 --> 00:30:10,578
Remember Joey Simpson?
509
00:30:10,612 --> 00:30:12,346
Was that the dude
with the balloons?
510
00:30:12,379 --> 00:30:14,181
Right, right.
That's the guy. Dead.
511
00:30:14,214 --> 00:30:15,517
-Really?
-Cancer.
512
00:30:17,117 --> 00:30:20,254
You know who else died is,
uh, Fat Mike.
513
00:30:20,287 --> 00:30:22,524
-Oh, shit.
-Suicide.
514
00:30:22,557 --> 00:30:24,058
Yeah.
515
00:30:24,091 --> 00:30:25,192
Ricky Conner.
516
00:30:25,225 --> 00:30:27,161
Diane Alaimo.
517
00:30:27,194 --> 00:30:29,930
-Bob Thomas.
-Bob Thomas.
518
00:30:31,065 --> 00:30:32,833
-Jimmy Higgins.
-Jimmy Higgins.
519
00:30:32,866 --> 00:30:34,902
- Yeah.
- They're just gone.
520
00:30:34,935 --> 00:30:36,970
They're just all gone.
521
00:30:37,004 --> 00:30:40,040
-God.
-There's some food in
the fridge that comic left.
522
00:30:40,074 --> 00:30:42,476
- Did you guys want so--
- No, no, no, no, no.
523
00:30:42,510 --> 00:30:46,213
- That's the first, uh,
rule of the comedy condo,
524
00:30:46,246 --> 00:30:49,551
is you don't touch anything
that comics left behind.
525
00:30:50,918 --> 00:30:52,486
They tend to get creative.
526
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,888
Especially with the mayonnaise.
527
00:30:54,922 --> 00:30:57,525
I remember being
in this condo in the nineties.
528
00:30:57,559 --> 00:31:00,394
I don't think they've
changed a single thing.
529
00:31:00,427 --> 00:31:02,930
Man, if these walls
could talk, Jimmy?
530
00:31:03,997 --> 00:31:05,499
If these walls could talk,
531
00:31:05,533 --> 00:31:07,401
they'd be testifying
in court a lot.
532
00:31:10,605 --> 00:31:13,641
Your dad was the best
to do hell gigs with.
533
00:31:13,675 --> 00:31:15,643
He would rip the crowd apart.
534
00:31:15,677 --> 00:31:17,344
Fearless.
535
00:31:17,378 --> 00:31:21,081
I remember this one time
in, uh, Andover, Mass.
536
00:31:21,115 --> 00:31:22,483
Remember Andover, Mass?
537
00:31:22,517 --> 00:31:24,485
-What happened there?
-Classic.
538
00:31:24,519 --> 00:31:27,921
Your dad's on stage
tripping balls on ecstasy,
539
00:31:27,955 --> 00:31:30,457
and he's talking about it.
And this chick stands up
540
00:31:30,491 --> 00:31:36,029
and she goes, "That's not funny!
My sister died on ecstasy."
541
00:31:36,063 --> 00:31:38,932
Whole crowd goes chill.
Nobody says anything.
542
00:31:38,966 --> 00:31:41,068
And then without missing a beat,
your dad goes,
543
00:31:41,101 --> 00:31:44,271
"Oh, then she must be
as horny as I am right now.
544
00:31:44,304 --> 00:31:45,939
Let's dig her up and fuck her!"
545
00:31:45,973 --> 00:31:47,341
Jesus! You said that?
546
00:31:47,374 --> 00:31:50,244
Oh, no. That was
The Early Show.
547
00:31:50,277 --> 00:31:53,313
The Late Show,
now, I'm on stage,
548
00:31:53,347 --> 00:31:55,449
-and the chick's husband--
Remember this?
-Yeah.
549
00:31:55,482 --> 00:31:59,319
The husband walks up on stage
and slaps me across the face.
550
00:31:59,353 --> 00:32:04,024
He hits the wrong guy.
He goes, "You don't
talk about my wife's sister!"
551
00:32:04,057 --> 00:32:07,361
But you know what?
I was proud
to take a punch for your dad.
552
00:32:07,394 --> 00:32:08,929
That's funny, man.
553
00:32:08,962 --> 00:32:11,666
Man, those were the days.
554
00:32:11,699 --> 00:32:14,935
Mikey, you gotta stop
living in the past.
555
00:32:14,968 --> 00:32:16,604
No, man.
556
00:32:16,638 --> 00:32:18,540
Those were the great times.
557
00:32:18,573 --> 00:32:20,140
Clubs were packed.
558
00:32:20,174 --> 00:32:22,710
I was booked 52 weeks a year.
559
00:32:22,744 --> 00:32:26,213
I was getting laid
52 weeks a year.
560
00:32:26,246 --> 00:32:29,450
I was making more money
at 21 than I am now.
561
00:32:29,483 --> 00:32:33,053
Do you know that this summer,
completely wide open.
562
00:32:33,086 --> 00:32:35,122
I had to take a job
driving a limo
563
00:32:35,155 --> 00:32:37,659
just so I don't starve to death.
564
00:32:37,692 --> 00:32:40,027
Man, I wish somebody
would build a time machine
565
00:32:40,060 --> 00:32:43,030
- and take me back to those days.
- Mm-hmm.
566
00:32:44,632 --> 00:32:46,233
Hey, what ever happened
to Laura?
567
00:32:46,266 --> 00:32:49,102
Weren't you guys
supposed to get married?
568
00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:52,005
Yeah, that didn't really
come together.
569
00:32:52,039 --> 00:32:53,741
Well, sorry to hear that.
570
00:32:55,042 --> 00:32:58,312
I really liked her.
You guys were a good couple.
571
00:32:59,313 --> 00:33:01,616
So, who else
do you still talk to?
572
00:33:01,649 --> 00:33:03,518
I don't know.
It's like you said,
573
00:33:03,551 --> 00:33:06,420
there's not a lot of guys
from the old days still around.
574
00:33:06,453 --> 00:33:09,757
What about Ross Daniels?
You hear he's--
he's booking the night show?
575
00:33:09,791 --> 00:33:12,226
Yeah, heard something
about that.
576
00:33:12,259 --> 00:33:13,595
You guys were tight.
577
00:33:13,628 --> 00:33:15,496
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
578
00:33:15,530 --> 00:33:17,431
They were good friends.
579
00:33:17,464 --> 00:33:19,500
You know, I sent that guy
a tape a while ago.
580
00:33:19,534 --> 00:33:22,236
-Never got back to me.
-Tape?
581
00:33:22,269 --> 00:33:26,173
- Maybe it's still
stuck in his VCR.
582
00:33:27,509 --> 00:33:29,343
You know you could call him.
583
00:33:29,376 --> 00:33:31,546
Maybe you could, uh,
say something about me.
584
00:33:31,579 --> 00:33:33,748
I don't do that, Mikey.
585
00:33:33,781 --> 00:33:36,416
And, uh, besides, I don't think
it's do a lot of good.
586
00:33:36,450 --> 00:33:40,254
If you remember correctly,
the last time I saw him,
I broke his nose.
587
00:33:40,287 --> 00:33:42,022
Well, how did that happen?
588
00:33:42,055 --> 00:33:44,424
Oh, my memory's
a little foggy on that.
589
00:33:44,458 --> 00:33:48,128
It might have had something to
do with me banging his fiancée.
590
00:33:48,161 --> 00:33:50,832
Yes, his fiancée. Yeah.
591
00:33:54,334 --> 00:33:58,305
Well, listen, man,
this has been great, but, uh,
592
00:33:58,338 --> 00:34:00,842
I gotta pick a guy up
at the airport
in, like, an hour.
593
00:34:02,544 --> 00:34:04,612
I'll walk you to the door.
594
00:34:07,114 --> 00:34:08,683
It's great meeting you, man.
595
00:34:08,716 --> 00:34:11,051
Yeah, good meeting
you, man. Really.
596
00:34:11,084 --> 00:34:14,556
- Welcome to the...
whatever world this is.
597
00:34:18,526 --> 00:34:20,427
It's really good
to see ya again, Mike.
598
00:34:20,460 --> 00:34:22,129
Take care of yourself.
599
00:34:22,162 --> 00:34:24,532
Yeah, you too, Jimmy.
600
00:34:24,566 --> 00:34:26,366
See you soon, old pal.
601
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,302
Sure, Mikey.
602
00:34:28,335 --> 00:34:30,237
- He's gone, right?
- Yeah.
603
00:34:30,270 --> 00:34:31,739
Okay.
604
00:34:31,773 --> 00:34:34,576
I feel bad for that guy.
He's just, he seems sad.
605
00:34:35,843 --> 00:34:38,680
Well, that's the business.
606
00:34:38,713 --> 00:34:40,582
What are you gonna do?
607
00:34:40,615 --> 00:34:42,750
He's not very funny, is he?
608
00:34:42,784 --> 00:34:43,851
Well...
609
00:34:44,819 --> 00:34:48,856
Mikey's a nice guy, but it's
supply and demand, you know?
610
00:34:48,890 --> 00:34:51,224
Back in the day,
611
00:34:51,258 --> 00:34:53,595
any guy who could go on stage
and do, you know,
612
00:34:53,628 --> 00:34:56,531
20 minutes of fart sounds
could make a living.
613
00:34:56,564 --> 00:35:00,467
Now, so many clubs
are closing that...
614
00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,704
it doesn't really matter
how nice a guy you are
615
00:35:02,737 --> 00:35:04,438
if you don't respect the art.
616
00:35:06,641 --> 00:35:10,745
Yeah. Well, we should talk about
what we're doing next weekend,
617
00:35:10,778 --> 00:35:13,648
'cause, you know,
I gotta get to New York, so...
618
00:35:13,681 --> 00:35:16,751
New York?
How are you gonna go to New York
619
00:35:16,784 --> 00:35:20,287
before you've seen the
bright lights of Indianapolis?
620
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:24,157
You want me to take you
to Indianapolis? Is that--
621
00:35:24,191 --> 00:35:26,761
If you wanted to.
622
00:35:26,794 --> 00:35:30,297
All right, sure.
Yeah, I'll take you
to Indianapolis. Sure.
623
00:35:30,330 --> 00:35:32,165
Well, you should
get some sleep, though.
624
00:35:32,199 --> 00:35:34,234
You've got that
church gig tomorrow.
625
00:35:34,267 --> 00:35:36,738
Yeah, go to bed.
I'm gonna stay up a while.
626
00:35:38,539 --> 00:35:39,607
All right.
627
00:35:41,241 --> 00:35:42,510
Good night.
628
00:35:53,921 --> 00:35:54,989
Wake up, Jimmy.
629
00:35:56,223 --> 00:35:57,925
Jimmy, you gotta wake up now.
630
00:35:57,959 --> 00:35:59,927
-What?
-You have--
631
00:35:59,961 --> 00:36:01,529
you got a show to do,
remember?
632
00:36:02,496 --> 00:36:03,831
You got that church show.
633
00:36:04,732 --> 00:36:06,834
-Fucking church.
-Yeah.
634
00:36:06,868 --> 00:36:08,670
Well, we got--
we gotta be there at 11,
635
00:36:08,703 --> 00:36:09,904
so let's get going.
636
00:36:23,651 --> 00:36:24,719
All right.
637
00:36:27,889 --> 00:36:29,289
You really need to do that?
638
00:36:30,390 --> 00:36:32,593
It's part of my process.
639
00:36:33,226 --> 00:36:34,361
Okay.
640
00:36:37,732 --> 00:36:38,900
Hey, there.
Are you, Jimmy?
641
00:36:39,332 --> 00:36:42,402
Uh, no. That's Jimmy.
642
00:36:42,436 --> 00:36:44,438
Hey, uh,
how much time you need?
643
00:36:44,872 --> 00:36:47,374
Oh, gosh. Uh, 20 minutes?
644
00:36:47,407 --> 00:36:49,844
But just remember to keep it
squeaky clean.
645
00:36:50,578 --> 00:36:51,746
I've been told.
646
00:36:57,484 --> 00:36:58,720
And finally,
647
00:36:59,286 --> 00:37:02,957
let's offer a prayer
for the Anderson family
648
00:37:03,758 --> 00:37:06,894
who perished in the Fenwick fire
earlier this week.
649
00:37:08,295 --> 00:37:09,697
Let us bow our heads.
650
00:37:24,045 --> 00:37:25,312
Okay...
651
00:37:27,715 --> 00:37:29,416
We've got a little treat for ya.
652
00:37:30,017 --> 00:37:31,686
We have a comedian.
653
00:37:32,419 --> 00:37:33,688
He's gonna entertain us all,
654
00:37:33,721 --> 00:37:34,889
so get ready to laugh.
655
00:37:35,690 --> 00:37:38,726
Please welcome, Jimmy Quinn.
656
00:37:48,069 --> 00:37:49,737
Ugh,
657
00:37:50,605 --> 00:37:51,672
God.
658
00:37:53,508 --> 00:37:54,909
Wow, this is fun.
659
00:37:56,343 --> 00:37:57,779
Ugh.
660
00:37:57,812 --> 00:38:00,615
God, I haven't been
in a church for so long.
661
00:38:01,682 --> 00:38:03,483
If I burst into flames
662
00:38:03,518 --> 00:38:06,554
uh, remember,
the fire exits are located here
663
00:38:06,587 --> 00:38:08,656
and here.
664
00:38:08,689 --> 00:38:10,558
Comedy canard.
665
00:38:10,591 --> 00:38:12,059
A little nervous 'cause, uh,
666
00:38:12,927 --> 00:38:15,563
I know what you did
to your last headlining act.
667
00:38:15,596 --> 00:38:17,698
Tough crowd, huh, J.C.?
668
00:38:18,331 --> 00:38:20,433
It's what happens to you
when you're not funny.
669
00:38:21,969 --> 00:38:23,938
Jesus died for your sins.
670
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:26,774
I'm dying up here for 250 bucks.
671
00:38:28,643 --> 00:38:30,912
And why would you die
for someone's sins?
672
00:38:30,945 --> 00:38:32,513
It doesn't make any sense.
673
00:38:32,780 --> 00:38:35,650
When you think about it,
your sins are the only
674
00:38:35,683 --> 00:38:39,386
interesting thing
about you sorry dullards.
675
00:38:39,419 --> 00:38:40,988
You're gonna go to confession.
676
00:38:41,022 --> 00:38:44,391
You should be trying to
one up your-- your sins.
677
00:38:44,424 --> 00:38:45,960
Hey, you think that's bad,
Father?
678
00:38:45,993 --> 00:38:47,895
Wait till you hear
what I do next week.
679
00:38:49,564 --> 00:38:52,399
And speaking of sin,
680
00:38:52,700 --> 00:38:55,435
isn't it basically 90%
of every war
681
00:38:55,468 --> 00:38:59,106
that's ever been fought because
of one of your stupid religions?
682
00:38:59,774 --> 00:39:03,443
You never turn on the news
and hear, "200 killed today
683
00:39:03,476 --> 00:39:06,479
when atheist rebels
took heavy shelling
684
00:39:06,514 --> 00:39:09,717
from the agnostic
stronghold in the North."
685
00:39:09,750 --> 00:39:12,653
No, it's your dumb religions
and I'm--
686
00:39:12,687 --> 00:39:14,487
I'm not trying to bag on you.
687
00:39:14,755 --> 00:39:18,693
I mean, I envy that
you have a belief system.
688
00:39:18,726 --> 00:39:20,595
I've tried it.
It didn't work for me.
689
00:39:20,628 --> 00:39:22,362
It didn't make sense.
690
00:39:22,395 --> 00:39:24,765
How do you... justify,
691
00:39:24,799 --> 00:39:28,102
how do you explain to
an eight year old child,
692
00:39:28,135 --> 00:39:33,406
who'd just lost his mother
in a horrific fashion,
693
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,743
that it's part
of some divine plan?
694
00:39:36,110 --> 00:39:39,412
How do you say,
"Oh-- Oh, no. No, Jimmy,
695
00:39:39,446 --> 00:39:41,616
Mommy's not with us anymore.
696
00:39:41,883 --> 00:39:46,453
No. See, God decided
he loved Mommy so much
697
00:39:46,486 --> 00:39:48,956
he wanted her right there
in heaven with him.
698
00:39:49,891 --> 00:39:51,592
So he sent her careening
699
00:39:51,626 --> 00:39:55,630
through a car windshield
at 65 miles an hour.
700
00:39:55,663 --> 00:39:57,064
Such an impact
701
00:39:57,098 --> 00:39:59,432
it tore most of the flesh
off her skull--"
702
00:39:59,466 --> 00:40:01,769
All right,
thank you very much, Mr. Quinn!
703
00:40:01,802 --> 00:40:04,005
- I wasn't done!
- Oh, you are now.
704
00:40:04,038 --> 00:40:06,406
How about a nice
round of applause, everyone?
705
00:40:09,076 --> 00:40:12,647
Okay, let's turn
to first Psalms.
706
00:40:20,655 --> 00:40:22,924
Mr. Quinn, can I help you?
707
00:40:23,691 --> 00:40:25,626
Yeah, I came to get my money.
708
00:40:25,660 --> 00:40:28,428
You don't think
we're really going to
709
00:40:28,461 --> 00:40:30,898
pay you for that filth?
710
00:40:31,599 --> 00:40:33,935
What are you talking about?
I was on a roll up there,
711
00:40:33,968 --> 00:40:36,070
-and you cut me off.
-When I hired a comedian,
712
00:40:36,103 --> 00:40:38,438
I was expecting
something uplifting.
713
00:40:38,471 --> 00:40:41,108
You provided
something different.
714
00:40:41,742 --> 00:40:43,844
I'm afraid you won't be
receiving any money,
715
00:40:43,878 --> 00:40:45,212
but I will pray for you.
716
00:40:46,614 --> 00:40:48,582
First of all, this is bullshit
717
00:40:48,616 --> 00:40:52,019
'cause I did not swear
one time on that goddamn stage
718
00:40:52,053 --> 00:40:54,855
and I can't buy booze
with prayers.
719
00:40:55,990 --> 00:40:58,025
Have a blessed day, Mr. Quinn.
720
00:41:01,128 --> 00:41:03,097
Bless you with
a shoe in your ass!
721
00:41:21,082 --> 00:41:23,250
So what happened?
Are you-- did you get paid?
722
00:41:24,051 --> 00:41:25,786
Well, evidently, uh,
723
00:41:25,820 --> 00:41:29,857
my brand of "clean" wasn't
squeaky enough for them.
724
00:41:30,124 --> 00:41:31,959
Well, yeah, technically,
you were clean.
725
00:41:31,993 --> 00:41:33,728
They-- they didn't pay you?
726
00:41:33,761 --> 00:41:35,896
Well, I sort of paid myself.
727
00:41:37,698 --> 00:41:39,233
Oh, come on.
728
00:41:39,266 --> 00:41:41,569
You can't steal from a church,
Jimmy. Come on.
729
00:41:41,602 --> 00:41:44,271
They tried to rip me off.
I ripped them off.
730
00:41:45,006 --> 00:41:46,140
Eye for an eye.
731
00:41:46,173 --> 00:41:48,209
It's in the Bible.
732
00:41:48,242 --> 00:41:51,045
Tell this car to find us
a pawnshop somewhere.
733
00:42:16,270 --> 00:42:17,938
Sorry guys.
I'm gonna call it.
734
00:42:17,972 --> 00:42:20,107
It's 8:15. I got two people.
735
00:42:20,641 --> 00:42:21,809
Sorry, Jimmy.
736
00:42:22,910 --> 00:42:25,613
Don't sweat it.
This kind of shit happens.
737
00:42:25,913 --> 00:42:29,116
I guess all the comedy fans are
over at the Will Richards Show.
738
00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:30,885
Catch you next time?
739
00:42:32,887 --> 00:42:34,288
I'm gonna head
over there myself.
740
00:42:34,321 --> 00:42:36,090
I got a buddy that
works over there.
741
00:42:36,357 --> 00:42:38,692
- Well, can we come with?
- Sure.
742
00:42:39,126 --> 00:42:40,194
Jimmy?
743
00:42:40,761 --> 00:42:42,696
How about you
drop me at the hotel?
744
00:42:42,930 --> 00:42:45,066
Come on, you don't
wanna see Will's act?
745
00:42:45,766 --> 00:42:50,571
I think I'd rather be
catheterized with a garden hose.
746
00:42:50,604 --> 00:42:52,173
Okay, well,
just come watch, like,
747
00:42:52,206 --> 00:42:54,341
and you tell me everything
that's wrong with it.
748
00:42:55,910 --> 00:42:57,044
That I can do.
749
00:43:01,715 --> 00:43:03,951
Sit-- sit down,
sit down, stop it, stop it.
750
00:43:03,984 --> 00:43:05,186
Stop it. Y'all too much.
751
00:43:05,219 --> 00:43:06,754
Thank you, Indianapolis.
752
00:43:06,787 --> 00:43:08,789
Thank you so much
for coming out for this.
753
00:43:08,823 --> 00:43:10,057
This is-- this is amazing.
754
00:43:13,727 --> 00:43:15,963
I would love to stay to
keep performing for y'all,
755
00:43:15,996 --> 00:43:17,698
but as Matilda would say,
756
00:43:17,731 --> 00:43:19,934
-"Child, I'm tired!"
-I'm tired!
757
00:43:28,175 --> 00:43:29,877
We love you, Will!
758
00:43:35,049 --> 00:43:36,684
Man, that was awesome!
759
00:43:36,884 --> 00:43:38,919
Jesus, I remember
half of those bits
760
00:43:38,953 --> 00:43:41,789
-from his open mic days.
-Yeah, well,
you gotta admit, though,
761
00:43:41,822 --> 00:43:44,325
he's got great energy,
he's got really good
stage presence.
762
00:43:44,358 --> 00:43:46,060
Yeah, so do televangelists.
763
00:43:46,093 --> 00:43:47,228
Guys, guys!
764
00:43:47,261 --> 00:43:48,696
I just talked to my buddy.
765
00:43:48,729 --> 00:43:50,064
We're going backstage!
766
00:43:50,097 --> 00:43:52,233
Hi, I'm Angie,
Mr. Richard's assistant.
767
00:43:52,266 --> 00:43:53,868
Which one of you is Jimmy Quinn?
768
00:43:53,901 --> 00:43:55,236
-Oh, he is.
-Follow me.
769
00:43:55,436 --> 00:43:57,138
Let's go!
770
00:44:04,245 --> 00:44:05,379
Mr. Richards?
771
00:44:05,813 --> 00:44:08,015
I have Mr. Quinn
and his party to see you.
772
00:44:11,919 --> 00:44:14,221
Oh, come on.
Bring it in. Bring it in.
773
00:44:14,255 --> 00:44:15,856
Come on.
774
00:44:15,890 --> 00:44:17,858
Come on, baby.
Come on. Get in here.
775
00:44:17,892 --> 00:44:21,061
Oh, Jimmy fucking Quinn!
776
00:44:21,929 --> 00:44:23,964
Why didn't you tell me
you were coming, man?
I would've got you tickets.
777
00:44:23,998 --> 00:44:25,833
Did you see the show?
What'd you think?
778
00:44:26,167 --> 00:44:27,368
You're never funnier.
779
00:44:28,769 --> 00:44:30,104
Oh, thanks.
780
00:44:30,137 --> 00:44:31,405
Who are these guys?
781
00:44:32,306 --> 00:44:33,707
That one's, uh, David.
782
00:44:33,741 --> 00:44:35,342
That's my son.
783
00:44:35,376 --> 00:44:37,011
Oh, shit. This is David?
784
00:44:37,745 --> 00:44:40,080
Do you know I was on the road
with your father
the night you were born?
785
00:44:40,114 --> 00:44:42,216
Wow. Time flies, man.
Put it there.
786
00:44:42,950 --> 00:44:44,752
Great to meet you, man.
I'm a big fan.
787
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:47,021
My name's Spike.
788
00:44:49,857 --> 00:44:51,792
So, Jimmy, man,
what you got going on, man?
789
00:44:51,825 --> 00:44:54,161
You, uh, working a gig in town?
What's going on?
790
00:44:54,195 --> 00:44:56,197
Well, Jimmy was gonna play
the YooHoo Room
791
00:44:56,230 --> 00:44:59,066
at the bowling alley, but,
well, they-- not tonight 'cause
792
00:44:59,099 --> 00:45:01,502
they had to cancel
'cause, well, nobody came.
793
00:45:01,936 --> 00:45:03,904
Oh, man I'm sorry to hear that,
but I mean,
794
00:45:03,938 --> 00:45:06,974
but you're still on a road,
right? I love it, man.
795
00:45:07,007 --> 00:45:08,976
I guess I am, too, man.
I'm blessed.
796
00:45:09,009 --> 00:45:11,078
Not like back in the day,
when we were hopeful
797
00:45:11,111 --> 00:45:13,013
and we could make
$200 in the night, huh?
798
00:45:13,047 --> 00:45:14,715
Yeah, you still doing
those movies
799
00:45:14,748 --> 00:45:16,383
where they make
you wear a dress?
800
00:45:22,823 --> 00:45:25,527
You talk about the franchise
that grossed
half a billion dollars?
801
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,828
Yeah, I'm still doing those.
802
00:45:28,462 --> 00:45:30,130
Yeah.
803
00:45:30,164 --> 00:45:32,066
Just to think
you would have sold out
804
00:45:32,099 --> 00:45:33,500
for so much less.
805
00:45:33,901 --> 00:45:36,904
I cry about it
every night in my hot tub,
806
00:45:36,937 --> 00:45:38,939
with my supermodel wife.
807
00:45:38,973 --> 00:45:41,141
Yeah, I'm sure
she loves you for you.
808
00:45:41,942 --> 00:45:44,778
Still looking down
on commercial success.
Let me ask you this.
809
00:45:44,812 --> 00:45:47,748
When you play the bowling alley,
do you gotta wear the bowling
shoes when you're on stage?
810
00:45:47,781 --> 00:45:51,051
- That's good.
- Well, you know,
I think your movies are great.
811
00:45:51,085 --> 00:45:54,154
You know, I was telling David
on the way over
that you were a hack.
812
00:45:54,188 --> 00:45:58,058
But then I watched your show,
and I realized "hack"
is such a lazy word
813
00:45:58,092 --> 00:46:00,327
where so many better ones
would fit.
814
00:46:00,361 --> 00:46:01,862
Like pandering
815
00:46:01,895 --> 00:46:04,164
or, uh, mundane,
816
00:46:04,198 --> 00:46:06,000
pablum,
817
00:46:06,033 --> 00:46:08,869
milquetoast, corn ball,
818
00:46:09,236 --> 00:46:11,839
uh, vapid.
That's always a fun word.
819
00:46:12,306 --> 00:46:14,509
That's quite the vocabulary
you got there, Jimmy.
820
00:46:14,542 --> 00:46:17,278
You know any other words
for alcoholic? Degenerate?
821
00:46:17,311 --> 00:46:20,447
You know,
I think I just heard them
announce last call at the bar.
822
00:46:20,481 --> 00:46:22,116
I'm pretty sure they got
a stool waiting for you,
823
00:46:22,149 --> 00:46:23,884
'cause that's what
you do, right? You drink.
824
00:46:23,917 --> 00:46:26,287
You know what? I think
I'm gonna do just that.
825
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,089
Uh, so, guys, I'm out of here.
826
00:46:29,456 --> 00:46:31,992
Or as Matilda would say,
827
00:46:32,026 --> 00:46:34,862
"Fuck you!"
828
00:46:34,895 --> 00:46:36,397
Enjoy your success, Will.
829
00:46:36,930 --> 00:46:38,533
I'll see you clowns out front.
830
00:46:41,168 --> 00:46:42,369
Fucking guy, man.
831
00:46:43,203 --> 00:46:45,806
-I'm really sorry
about Jimmy, man.
-Ah, stop, stop, stop.
832
00:46:45,839 --> 00:46:47,908
You don't have to apologize
for your father.
833
00:46:47,941 --> 00:46:49,443
I don't hate him.
I pity him.
834
00:46:50,944 --> 00:46:52,547
I love him to death,
though, man, he...
835
00:46:52,580 --> 00:46:55,282
I got my start with him.
He took me on the road with him.
836
00:46:55,316 --> 00:46:58,385
You know, back in the day,
I had the Letterman
people come see him?
837
00:46:58,419 --> 00:47:01,055
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, man.
They loved him.
838
00:47:01,088 --> 00:47:03,157
Booked the show.
Flew him out and everything.
839
00:47:03,190 --> 00:47:05,059
The night of the show,
he gets drunk,
840
00:47:05,092 --> 00:47:07,061
hooks up with two prostitutes,
841
00:47:07,094 --> 00:47:08,596
and he misses the whole night.
842
00:47:09,463 --> 00:47:10,665
I didn't know that.
843
00:47:12,966 --> 00:47:14,569
Pretty much blackballed him
after that,
844
00:47:16,337 --> 00:47:18,673
and what can I say, man?
The guy's afraid of success.
845
00:47:19,973 --> 00:47:21,475
Look, man, I...
846
00:47:22,309 --> 00:47:25,580
Your father's probably
one of the funniest people
I've ever met in my life.
847
00:47:25,613 --> 00:47:27,014
But he has no discipline.
848
00:47:28,349 --> 00:47:31,018
If you learn anything about
this industry, just know that
849
00:47:31,452 --> 00:47:34,522
this business is more than
what you do on stage.
850
00:47:37,424 --> 00:47:38,626
Well, thanks.
851
00:47:38,660 --> 00:47:40,294
I should
probably get back to him.
852
00:47:40,327 --> 00:47:41,929
Uh, thanks for meeting us, man.
853
00:47:41,962 --> 00:47:43,897
- I really appreciate it.
- Sure.
854
00:47:43,931 --> 00:47:47,368
You know, I'm a-- I'm a comic
and I love your work, man.
855
00:47:47,968 --> 00:47:49,637
Like, can I get, like,
your email or...?
856
00:47:50,605 --> 00:47:51,673
Thanks.
857
00:48:07,689 --> 00:48:09,022
Thank you.
858
00:48:11,992 --> 00:48:14,962
I should've known "out front"
meant nearest bar, huh?
859
00:48:15,262 --> 00:48:18,332
Hey, what are ya-- what are ya
drinking? I'm buying.
860
00:48:18,365 --> 00:48:21,101
No! Why would you
embarrass me like that?
861
00:48:21,135 --> 00:48:23,270
Like, you knew I was
a big fan of him.
862
00:48:23,303 --> 00:48:25,239
Wait, you're embarrassed for me?
863
00:48:25,540 --> 00:48:27,207
Have you seen that guy's movies?
864
00:48:27,241 --> 00:48:29,076
Well, he's a big star, Jimmy.
865
00:48:29,109 --> 00:48:30,812
Did you see how many people
came to his show?
866
00:48:30,845 --> 00:48:32,146
You think that matters?
867
00:48:32,714 --> 00:48:33,815
Yeah!
868
00:48:35,149 --> 00:48:37,351
I guess I'm wasting
my time with you.
869
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:40,354
Will told me about
the Letterman thing.
870
00:48:40,387 --> 00:48:42,256
It's funny you never mention it.
871
00:48:42,289 --> 00:48:43,725
Urban legend.
872
00:48:43,758 --> 00:48:45,492
Okay, well, he said
you got too drunk.
873
00:48:45,527 --> 00:48:47,227
You never even made it
to the taping.
874
00:48:48,095 --> 00:48:50,532
Yeah, that's probably the way
he wants to remember it.
875
00:48:51,165 --> 00:48:52,667
Well, what's your side
of the story?
876
00:48:54,968 --> 00:48:56,638
He wanted me to wear a suit.
877
00:48:58,071 --> 00:48:59,574
What? So?
878
00:48:59,607 --> 00:49:01,475
Can you picture me
in a fucking suit?
879
00:49:02,042 --> 00:49:04,411
I mean, that's how it starts.
They dress you up,
880
00:49:04,445 --> 00:49:06,213
they go through all your jokes,
881
00:49:06,246 --> 00:49:08,115
and they take all the teeth
out of them
882
00:49:08,148 --> 00:49:10,050
so they're not funny anymore.
883
00:49:10,083 --> 00:49:12,352
And they send you out there
with no guns.
884
00:49:12,386 --> 00:49:14,455
And for what? Like,
885
00:49:14,488 --> 00:49:16,356
so you can get a sitcom?
886
00:49:17,057 --> 00:49:20,027
Play the idiot dad
with the catchphrase?
887
00:49:20,528 --> 00:49:26,099
And then shilling
infomercials for some garbage.
888
00:49:26,366 --> 00:49:27,702
"Hi, do you remember me?
889
00:49:27,735 --> 00:49:31,205
I was Scooch
from
My Nutty Cousin,
890
00:49:31,238 --> 00:49:32,740
and now I wanna talk to
891
00:49:33,273 --> 00:49:36,644
gullible old fucks
about reverse mortgages."
892
00:49:36,678 --> 00:49:38,378
Yeah, Okay. Yeah.
893
00:49:38,412 --> 00:49:40,347
So instead your working
the bowling alley.
894
00:49:41,148 --> 00:49:44,384
Yeah, I'm working in
a bowling alley with my words
895
00:49:44,752 --> 00:49:48,590
wearing my own clothes
and doing it my own way.
896
00:49:48,623 --> 00:49:50,692
Yeah, and with
my mom's credit card.
897
00:49:50,725 --> 00:49:53,561
So what are we doing?
We're going back to the hotel?
898
00:49:53,595 --> 00:49:55,062
That's...
899
00:49:55,395 --> 00:49:58,198
I gotta feeling I'm gonna be
closing this place down.
900
00:49:59,466 --> 00:50:01,301
Well, I should've known that.
Okay.
901
00:50:32,065 --> 00:50:35,102
Yo, no sign
of your sleepy time tea?
902
00:50:36,538 --> 00:50:41,776
Enjoy your backstage pass
to Captain Hot Tub?
903
00:50:44,077 --> 00:50:45,145
Hot tub.
904
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,482
Real comics don't even bathe.
905
00:50:50,718 --> 00:50:54,054
You wouldn't even get
my backstage pass
906
00:50:54,087 --> 00:50:55,489
if you dropped my name.
907
00:50:56,356 --> 00:50:57,759
Because I am funny.
908
00:50:58,860 --> 00:51:00,327
People fucking know it.
909
00:51:02,362 --> 00:51:03,865
You're not even funny yet
910
00:51:04,331 --> 00:51:05,667
and you're funnier than that.
911
00:51:30,257 --> 00:51:31,693
All right, Jimmy.
Time to wake up.
912
00:51:33,226 --> 00:51:34,696
What time is it?
913
00:51:34,729 --> 00:51:36,263
It's, uh, it's 11:00.
914
00:51:37,699 --> 00:51:39,099
Am I on a bus?
915
00:51:40,334 --> 00:51:42,537
No, uh, I'm taking you to Akron
916
00:51:42,570 --> 00:51:44,639
since it's, uh, on my way.
917
00:51:44,672 --> 00:51:45,707
So...
918
00:51:46,908 --> 00:51:49,877
If that's what you want
it's okay by me.
919
00:51:51,646 --> 00:51:52,714
All right.
920
00:51:54,247 --> 00:51:55,315
Well, let's go.
921
00:52:17,872 --> 00:52:19,807
Well, I talked to my mom.
922
00:52:19,841 --> 00:52:23,377
Um, she seemed a lot better,
and both my parents agreed to
923
00:52:23,410 --> 00:52:25,145
give me a year to pursue this.
924
00:52:25,178 --> 00:52:26,748
Like, isn't that great?
925
00:52:27,414 --> 00:52:28,516
Full year, huh?
926
00:52:29,349 --> 00:52:32,252
Yeah, you ought to be
a huge star by then.
927
00:52:32,687 --> 00:52:33,755
Yeah.
928
00:52:39,459 --> 00:52:41,228
So you want to meet your aunt?
929
00:52:41,529 --> 00:52:42,830
Yeah, I have an aunt?
930
00:52:43,564 --> 00:52:45,867
I got a sister.
That means you have an aunt.
931
00:52:45,900 --> 00:52:47,501
Nancy.
932
00:52:47,869 --> 00:52:51,739
She lives in, uh, Findlay,
so it's not far off from Akron.
933
00:52:53,508 --> 00:52:55,342
Yeah. What's she like?
934
00:52:55,375 --> 00:52:56,511
She's cool.
935
00:52:57,344 --> 00:52:58,913
Lives with her partner, Julie.
936
00:53:10,290 --> 00:53:12,292
She'll probably make you
shovel her walk.
937
00:53:13,260 --> 00:53:14,327
It's nice of her.
938
00:53:17,799 --> 00:53:19,734
- Hey!
- Oh, my God. Jimmy!
939
00:53:19,767 --> 00:53:21,268
How you doing?
940
00:53:21,301 --> 00:53:22,804
Jimmy, oh,
it's so good to see you!
941
00:53:22,837 --> 00:53:24,739
It's been too long!
942
00:53:24,772 --> 00:53:27,542
Oh, let me look at you.
943
00:53:28,341 --> 00:53:29,476
You look like shit.
944
00:53:29,844 --> 00:53:31,879
Thank you very much.
I love you, too.
945
00:53:31,913 --> 00:53:33,447
-Jules.
-Jimmy.
946
00:53:34,615 --> 00:53:36,349
Oh, my goodness.
947
00:53:36,383 --> 00:53:37,885
You must be David.
948
00:53:37,919 --> 00:53:40,253
- In the flesh.
- Good to meet ya.
949
00:53:40,287 --> 00:53:42,355
Get over here!
Give me a hug!
950
00:53:42,389 --> 00:53:44,424
Oh, I haven't seen you
since you were a baby.
951
00:53:44,458 --> 00:53:46,961
Yeah, though it's great
to meet ya. Both you guys. Yeah.
952
00:53:46,994 --> 00:53:49,496
Well, come on in, it's cold!
It's freezing out here.
953
00:53:49,530 --> 00:53:50,998
Please, please,
please, this way.
954
00:53:54,969 --> 00:53:56,671
So you just
showed up at his door?
955
00:53:56,704 --> 00:53:58,338
That must have been a shock.
956
00:53:58,371 --> 00:54:00,608
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
957
00:54:00,842 --> 00:54:02,810
Well, I for one,
am just delighted.
958
00:54:02,844 --> 00:54:05,345
I was so happy
when Jimmy called last week.
959
00:54:05,378 --> 00:54:06,748
Said you two were coming.
960
00:54:09,617 --> 00:54:11,018
Oh, yeah, well,
961
00:54:11,052 --> 00:54:12,920
you're on the way to the gig,
962
00:54:12,954 --> 00:54:15,990
so how could I not stop in
and say hello?
963
00:54:16,791 --> 00:54:18,593
Family is so important.
964
00:54:18,993 --> 00:54:21,495
-Hear, hear.
-Oh, speaking of,
965
00:54:21,529 --> 00:54:24,498
you really should stop in
and see Dad before you leave.
966
00:54:24,532 --> 00:54:26,399
He's not doing too well.
967
00:54:26,433 --> 00:54:28,669
- This might be your last chance.
- Look...
968
00:54:29,504 --> 00:54:32,472
I said everything I had
to say to him the night I left.
969
00:54:33,641 --> 00:54:35,777
That was over 30 years ago.
970
00:54:35,810 --> 00:54:38,813
Well, you really owe it
to yourself and to David.
971
00:54:39,446 --> 00:54:41,015
Yeah, I would
really like to meet him.
972
00:54:41,749 --> 00:54:43,985
But I have nothing to say
to the guy.
973
00:54:44,018 --> 00:54:45,418
End of story.
974
00:54:47,522 --> 00:54:50,457
One of the things that Julie
has helped me to realize,
975
00:54:50,490 --> 00:54:52,392
you can't hold on to resentment.
976
00:54:52,425 --> 00:54:54,595
Dad did the best he could.
977
00:54:54,862 --> 00:54:56,864
Nancy, you know
that's bullshit.
978
00:54:58,331 --> 00:55:00,735
Well, you need to
try to forgive him
979
00:55:00,768 --> 00:55:02,970
for your own peace of mind.
980
00:55:03,004 --> 00:55:04,138
Fuck him.
981
00:55:05,940 --> 00:55:09,110
It wasn't easy for him
when Mom died
982
00:55:09,644 --> 00:55:11,746
raising two little kids
on his own,
983
00:55:11,779 --> 00:55:13,413
working at the factory.
984
00:55:14,347 --> 00:55:15,817
Besides,
it wasn't all his fault.
985
00:55:15,850 --> 00:55:17,852
He was basically an alcoholic.
986
00:55:18,385 --> 00:55:20,888
-And you remember
what Grandpa was like.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
987
00:55:20,922 --> 00:55:22,455
Grandpa, come on.
988
00:55:22,489 --> 00:55:23,991
Are you trying
to get me to leave?
989
00:55:24,025 --> 00:55:25,626
Can we talk about
something else?
990
00:55:25,660 --> 00:55:26,828
Does he live in town?
991
00:55:27,460 --> 00:55:29,429
He's at a nursing home.
992
00:55:29,462 --> 00:55:30,865
It's 5 minutes away.
993
00:55:31,899 --> 00:55:33,701
He's had a couple of strokes.
994
00:55:34,467 --> 00:55:37,071
I'm not even sure if he knows
when we are there.
995
00:55:42,475 --> 00:55:43,945
Who wants more potato salad?
996
00:55:45,813 --> 00:55:48,716
- Another bite?
- -Nah, we gotta-- we gotta roll.
997
00:55:48,749 --> 00:55:50,918
We got a two-hour drive
to Akron,
998
00:55:50,952 --> 00:55:52,520
so I'm gonna hit the head.
999
00:55:52,553 --> 00:55:54,655
I will take this mess
into the kitchen.
1000
00:55:59,627 --> 00:56:02,029
I'm glad we've got
a minute alone.
1001
00:56:02,063 --> 00:56:03,598
I'm worried about Jimmy.
1002
00:56:03,631 --> 00:56:05,465
He really looks terrible.
1003
00:56:05,498 --> 00:56:07,535
Is he okay?
1004
00:56:08,970 --> 00:56:12,840
Ah, no, you know,
he's-- he's drinking a lot.
1005
00:56:12,874 --> 00:56:15,943
He just... he just doesn't
take care of himself at all.
1006
00:56:18,445 --> 00:56:19,580
You're a good kid.
1007
00:56:19,614 --> 00:56:21,082
I'm glad you two reconnected.
1008
00:56:21,115 --> 00:56:23,050
Oh, yeah. So am I.
No, yeah.
1009
00:56:23,084 --> 00:56:25,720
But, um, you know, what was
it like for you guys as kids?
1010
00:56:26,654 --> 00:56:28,890
Well, it wasn't easy.
1011
00:56:28,923 --> 00:56:31,759
Um, our dad was strict.
1012
00:56:32,693 --> 00:56:35,730
He was mad at the world,
and he took it out on Jimmy.
1013
00:56:35,763 --> 00:56:37,999
They would
get into horrible fights.
1014
00:56:38,900 --> 00:56:40,167
Sorry to hear about that.
1015
00:56:40,968 --> 00:56:44,572
But you know what?
That's all in the past.
1016
00:56:46,007 --> 00:56:50,978
I just think seeing him
might give Jimmy some closure.
1017
00:56:51,012 --> 00:56:54,015
And if he doesn't,
he might regret it.
1018
00:56:54,048 --> 00:56:55,583
Oh, definitely. Yeah.
1019
00:56:55,616 --> 00:56:57,118
Um, where's this place at?
1020
00:56:57,852 --> 00:57:00,487
It's right up the street
off Route 12.
1021
00:57:00,521 --> 00:57:02,156
Um, you can't miss it.
1022
00:57:03,224 --> 00:57:06,093
So, you'll be heading
out to New York soon?
1023
00:57:06,127 --> 00:57:09,797
Yeah, that's the plan.
I'm, uh, pretty excited. So...
1024
00:57:09,830 --> 00:57:11,098
You about ready?
1025
00:57:11,132 --> 00:57:12,900
Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.
1026
00:57:15,202 --> 00:57:16,737
I love you.
1027
00:57:18,471 --> 00:57:20,875
Don't take so long
between visits, hmm?
1028
00:57:21,742 --> 00:57:22,810
Thank you.
1029
00:57:23,476 --> 00:57:24,578
For everything.
1030
00:57:29,583 --> 00:57:31,218
And you, take care of her.
1031
00:57:31,252 --> 00:57:33,554
I will.
1032
00:57:33,587 --> 00:57:35,923
David, you know
you're welcome here anytime.
1033
00:57:35,957 --> 00:57:37,892
Well, thanks, Aunt Nancy.
1034
00:57:37,925 --> 00:57:40,628
I like the sound of that.
1035
00:57:41,862 --> 00:57:42,930
Thank you, again.
1036
00:57:42,964 --> 00:57:45,132
You, too. You, too
1037
00:57:45,166 --> 00:57:47,702
You guys were a pleasure.
So thanks for having us.
1038
00:57:47,735 --> 00:57:49,937
- Aww, drive safe.
- Have a good one.
1039
00:57:51,706 --> 00:57:54,241
Well, I'm glad we stopped.
I-- I really like them.
1040
00:57:55,743 --> 00:57:57,111
She's the best.
1041
00:57:57,545 --> 00:57:58,980
Yeah, and Julie, too.
1042
00:57:59,013 --> 00:58:00,614
You should visit them
more often.
1043
00:58:01,015 --> 00:58:02,249
Mm-hmm.
1044
00:58:15,296 --> 00:58:16,897
Why are we stopped?
1045
00:58:26,140 --> 00:58:28,709
What the fuck
do you think you're doing?
1046
00:58:28,743 --> 00:58:29,977
I wanna meet my grandfather.
1047
00:58:31,078 --> 00:58:33,814
What are you trying
to prove with this?
1048
00:58:33,848 --> 00:58:36,050
Nothing. I have the right to
meet my grandfather.
1049
00:58:36,083 --> 00:58:38,052
And also, it's my car.
1050
00:58:40,187 --> 00:58:42,223
Fine. Knock yourself out.
1051
00:58:42,957 --> 00:58:44,058
I'll be right here.
1052
00:58:47,061 --> 00:58:48,629
This is your dad.
1053
00:58:48,662 --> 00:58:50,798
Are you really not
coming with me?
1054
00:58:50,831 --> 00:58:52,967
I've nothing to say to the guy.
1055
00:58:55,703 --> 00:58:58,672
Okay, well. I'm going in.
1056
00:59:02,710 --> 00:59:03,778
Going.
1057
00:59:05,046 --> 00:59:06,113
Bye-bye.
1058
00:59:08,816 --> 00:59:10,151
Hey, just come with me.
1059
00:59:10,184 --> 00:59:11,786
I haven't asked you
anything else.
1060
00:59:11,819 --> 00:59:13,354
Just do this one thing
for me, okay?
1061
00:59:17,058 --> 00:59:18,292
God damn it.
1062
00:59:27,268 --> 00:59:28,402
Five minutes.
1063
00:59:30,237 --> 00:59:32,073
Okay. Good. Let's go.
1064
00:59:37,812 --> 00:59:39,814
So this is Mr. Quinn's room.
1065
00:59:43,918 --> 00:59:45,252
I'll leave you all alone.
1066
00:59:55,129 --> 00:59:56,664
Hi, I'm your--
1067
00:59:57,064 --> 00:59:58,666
I'm your grandson, David.
1068
01:00:00,034 --> 01:00:01,268
How you doing, um...
1069
01:00:02,903 --> 01:00:04,405
This is your son Jimmy.
1070
01:00:09,410 --> 01:00:11,245
I don't think he hears us.
1071
01:00:18,219 --> 01:00:21,255
I'mma go find a vending machine.
1072
01:00:45,346 --> 01:00:46,881
Look at you now.
1073
01:00:49,350 --> 01:00:51,318
Used to be such a big man.
1074
01:00:54,054 --> 01:00:56,123
You're not King Shit anymore.
1075
01:00:59,026 --> 01:01:00,327
You're a fucking vegetable.
1076
01:01:02,429 --> 01:01:03,797
Serves you right.
1077
01:01:04,965 --> 01:01:06,333
Karma's a bitch.
1078
01:01:07,701 --> 01:01:09,436
Why did you have to be
such an asshole?
1079
01:01:11,438 --> 01:01:13,274
Supposed to be my father.
1080
01:01:14,775 --> 01:01:16,177
You have any idea
1081
01:01:17,278 --> 01:01:19,013
how much I tried to
1082
01:01:19,046 --> 01:01:21,982
just get one nod
of attention out of you?
1083
01:01:23,217 --> 01:01:24,785
And all you ever did was
1084
01:01:25,786 --> 01:01:26,954
make me feel...
1085
01:01:28,122 --> 01:01:29,256
awkward.
1086
01:01:30,191 --> 01:01:31,392
Stupid.
1087
01:01:35,029 --> 01:01:36,230
I hope you don't die.
1088
01:01:36,263 --> 01:01:38,399
I hope you just sit there,
1089
01:01:38,432 --> 01:01:40,768
rot, and think about that.
1090
01:01:41,869 --> 01:01:42,970
Do you hear me?
1091
01:01:45,339 --> 01:01:46,541
Do you?
1092
01:01:56,917 --> 01:01:58,018
Dad?
1093
01:02:10,532 --> 01:02:14,034
I, uh, couldn't
find any vending machines.
1094
01:02:17,238 --> 01:02:18,305
Yeah.
1095
01:02:18,339 --> 01:02:19,574
Let's get out of here.
1096
01:02:39,260 --> 01:02:40,294
Thank you.
1097
01:02:42,896 --> 01:02:45,933
Think I, uh, need to apologize.
1098
01:02:45,966 --> 01:02:47,067
For what?
1099
01:02:48,869 --> 01:02:50,170
For not being your father.
1100
01:02:52,507 --> 01:02:54,108
I had a great father.
1101
01:02:54,141 --> 01:02:55,476
I had a great childhood.
1102
01:02:55,510 --> 01:02:57,612
There's no hard feelings,
really.
1103
01:03:15,296 --> 01:03:17,164
Okay, we got a problem.
1104
01:03:17,965 --> 01:03:19,133
Feature act isn't here.
1105
01:03:19,166 --> 01:03:20,834
I can't get him on the phone,
1106
01:03:20,868 --> 01:03:24,506
so I'm going to need you
to do an hour and a half.
1107
01:03:25,005 --> 01:03:26,974
-Kidding?
-I don't know what else to do.
1108
01:03:28,242 --> 01:03:30,444
-Can you do 20?
-Yeah, I can do 20.
1109
01:03:30,477 --> 01:03:32,279
All right. Cool.
Bring my son up.
1110
01:03:32,313 --> 01:03:33,947
He'll do a set.
I'll close it out.
1111
01:03:33,981 --> 01:03:35,349
-Are you a comedian?
-Yeah.
1112
01:03:36,150 --> 01:03:37,418
Great. What's your name?
1113
01:03:37,451 --> 01:03:38,919
Dave Moranto.
1114
01:03:39,219 --> 01:03:40,988
Okay, I'm gonna start the show.
1115
01:03:41,021 --> 01:03:42,256
All right, cool.
1116
01:03:43,357 --> 01:03:44,925
Thanks, Jimmy.
1117
01:03:44,958 --> 01:03:46,628
-Just be funny.
-Yeah.
1118
01:03:49,330 --> 01:03:52,166
Welcome to the show, everybody.
You ready to have a good time?
1119
01:03:53,601 --> 01:03:55,502
I love this group.
1120
01:03:55,537 --> 01:03:58,005
Well, listen, you know,
we only have one rule here.
1121
01:03:58,038 --> 01:04:00,307
It's real simple.
The more you drink,
1122
01:04:00,341 --> 01:04:02,242
the funnier
those comics are gonna be.
1123
01:04:02,276 --> 01:04:04,878
You got that?
So let's get it started.
1124
01:04:04,912 --> 01:04:07,381
Your first comic.
How about it, everybody?
1125
01:04:07,414 --> 01:04:10,451
A big round of applause.
David Moranto. Keep it going!
1126
01:04:17,491 --> 01:04:20,361
All right.
Give it up for, uh, that guy.
1127
01:04:20,394 --> 01:04:22,196
Okay. Yeah.
1128
01:04:24,198 --> 01:04:25,999
Good to be here, man.
Good to be here.
1129
01:04:26,033 --> 01:04:28,969
Hey, it's my girlfriend.
1130
01:04:29,002 --> 01:04:30,437
All right.
Good to be here, man.
1131
01:04:30,471 --> 01:04:32,406
I, uh, I know
I kinda look like a, uh
1132
01:04:32,439 --> 01:04:34,475
John Cusack
before he hit puberty.
1133
01:04:38,045 --> 01:04:40,582
I, uh, I just dropped out
of med school.
1134
01:04:41,115 --> 01:04:43,250
Hold your applause.
1135
01:04:43,283 --> 01:04:44,985
Let me show you guys
an impression
1136
01:04:45,018 --> 01:04:47,655
of what our group study sessions
look like.
1137
01:05:04,037 --> 01:05:05,105
Kid's funny.
1138
01:05:09,209 --> 01:05:10,344
"Dude...
1139
01:05:11,979 --> 01:05:14,616
...if humans can see water,
1140
01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:16,518
can fish see air?"
1141
01:05:18,218 --> 01:05:20,187
I'm just like,
that's a lot of pressure.
1142
01:05:23,257 --> 01:05:26,260
I'm not sure I can
follow that command.
1143
01:05:26,293 --> 01:05:27,394
You guys have been great.
1144
01:05:27,428 --> 01:05:29,062
Thanks so much. Appreciate it.
1145
01:05:29,096 --> 01:05:31,031
You gonna love your headliner,
everybody.
1146
01:05:31,365 --> 01:05:34,001
Good room.
I'm Dave Moranto. Thank you.
1147
01:05:34,034 --> 01:05:35,770
Keep it going!
1148
01:05:37,539 --> 01:05:39,206
Good job!
1149
01:05:40,073 --> 01:05:41,408
Good job!
1150
01:05:41,442 --> 01:05:43,410
How 'bout it? Dave Moranto.
1151
01:05:51,686 --> 01:05:53,020
Hey, thanks.
1152
01:05:56,724 --> 01:05:58,560
That's what I'm talking about.
1153
01:05:58,593 --> 01:06:00,528
Are we having a good time? Yes.
1154
01:06:00,562 --> 01:06:02,630
Well, are you ready
for your headliner?
1155
01:06:02,664 --> 01:06:04,331
Uh, what did you think?
1156
01:06:04,364 --> 01:06:06,300
I think so.
Let's put it together.
1157
01:06:06,333 --> 01:06:08,101
- Good crowd.
- Love this crowd.
1158
01:06:08,135 --> 01:06:09,671
He is The Road Dog.
Put it together.
1159
01:06:09,704 --> 01:06:11,472
Jimmy Quinn, everybody!
1160
01:06:17,377 --> 01:06:18,646
Thank you!
1161
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:20,481
Louis, Ladies and gentlemen.
1162
01:06:22,149 --> 01:06:24,652
Hey, my name's Jimmy,
and I'm an alcoholic.
1163
01:06:33,393 --> 01:06:35,329
Ready to hit the road?
1164
01:06:35,362 --> 01:06:36,997
Yeah, I guess.
1165
01:06:37,030 --> 01:06:39,166
Thank you so much.
Great set. Great set.
1166
01:06:39,199 --> 01:06:41,034
I thought you might want this.
1167
01:06:41,068 --> 01:06:44,037
Uh, we record all the comics,
so here's a copy for you.
1168
01:06:44,071 --> 01:06:46,006
I finally got a hold
of the feature act.
1169
01:06:46,039 --> 01:06:47,642
He will be here tomorrow.
1170
01:06:47,675 --> 01:06:50,143
But I'm telling you,
any time you want a booking,
1171
01:06:50,177 --> 01:06:52,446
just give me a call.
We would love to have you.
1172
01:06:52,479 --> 01:06:54,214
And really, thanks again.
All right?
1173
01:06:54,248 --> 01:06:55,783
And, Jimmy, good job as usual!
1174
01:06:55,817 --> 01:06:57,217
Thanks, Lou.
1175
01:06:58,118 --> 01:06:59,453
You were so funny!
1176
01:06:59,486 --> 01:07:01,221
Yeah, you were, like,
the funniest.
1177
01:07:01,255 --> 01:07:03,525
Oh, thanks.
Appreciate it.
1178
01:07:03,558 --> 01:07:08,495
Um, we're heading over
to Shea for drinks
if you wanna join us?
1179
01:07:09,162 --> 01:07:11,064
Uh, that's really nice.
1180
01:07:11,098 --> 01:07:13,100
I-- I gotta get back, though.
1181
01:07:14,401 --> 01:07:16,136
Okay.
1182
01:07:16,169 --> 01:07:17,639
Sorry.
1183
01:07:17,672 --> 01:07:18,740
Sorry.
1184
01:07:20,575 --> 01:07:21,643
"Shea?
1185
01:07:21,676 --> 01:07:23,745
I'd love to go to Shea!
1186
01:07:23,778 --> 01:07:26,246
Appletinis on me, girls."
1187
01:07:27,314 --> 01:07:28,816
Let's get the fuck out of here.
1188
01:07:30,752 --> 01:07:31,819
Yeah.
1189
01:07:44,766 --> 01:07:47,802
You know, you haven't said
a word about my set tonight.
1190
01:07:49,837 --> 01:07:51,639
What do you want me to say?
1191
01:07:52,574 --> 01:07:54,441
You know,
what'd you think of it?
1192
01:07:55,843 --> 01:07:58,580
It shouldn't matter
what anybody thinks.
1193
01:07:58,613 --> 01:08:00,280
Well, it matters
what you think.
1194
01:08:00,314 --> 01:08:01,616
I respect your opinion.
1195
01:08:06,521 --> 01:08:07,589
So?
1196
01:08:08,288 --> 01:08:10,257
So...
1197
01:08:10,290 --> 01:08:14,161
It's all style and no substance.
1198
01:08:14,194 --> 01:08:15,730
You got no voice.
1199
01:08:17,331 --> 01:08:18,733
You got no point of view.
1200
01:08:18,766 --> 01:08:21,335
There was none of you
in that set.
1201
01:08:22,604 --> 01:08:28,108
You gotta understand...
fuckin' comedy's about pain.
1202
01:08:28,141 --> 01:08:31,211
What pain have you ever felt?
1203
01:08:31,244 --> 01:08:33,681
You've had a perfect childhood,
1204
01:08:33,715 --> 01:08:37,117
perfect teeth, girls like you.
1205
01:08:37,150 --> 01:08:41,522
So you get nothing 'cause
you got nothing to work with.
1206
01:08:41,556 --> 01:08:43,625
Okay, well,
sorry I'm not Kurt Cobain,
1207
01:08:43,658 --> 01:08:46,193
-but that crowd
seemed to like me.
-Ugh!
1208
01:08:46,226 --> 01:08:52,132
Never underestimate
the stupidity
of large groups of people.
1209
01:08:52,165 --> 01:08:54,434
So you're saying
my act is stupid?
1210
01:08:54,468 --> 01:08:56,638
No. I just let you
say it for me.
1211
01:08:57,739 --> 01:09:00,708
Just saying there's more to it
than just standing up there
1212
01:09:00,742 --> 01:09:02,342
and telling jokes.
1213
01:09:05,479 --> 01:09:07,515
There wasn't one part
that you liked?
1214
01:09:08,650 --> 01:09:11,519
What was your favorite part?
1215
01:09:16,557 --> 01:09:17,759
You're a dick!
1216
01:09:22,462 --> 01:09:23,898
You know what I think?
1217
01:09:23,931 --> 01:09:25,900
I think you're kind of jealous,
you know,
1218
01:09:25,933 --> 01:09:28,201
because you can't
stand the fact that--
1219
01:09:29,704 --> 01:09:31,371
Oh, my God, that's blood!
1220
01:09:31,405 --> 01:09:32,607
Get out of here!
1221
01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:34,575
No, that's hematemesis!
1222
01:09:34,609 --> 01:09:36,309
We need to get you
to a hospital!
1223
01:09:36,343 --> 01:09:38,546
I don't need a fucking hospital!
1224
01:09:38,579 --> 01:09:41,616
No, you're sick!
You need to see a doctor!
1225
01:09:41,649 --> 01:09:44,351
I've already seen a doctor.
1226
01:09:45,485 --> 01:09:46,854
When?
1227
01:09:46,888 --> 01:09:48,288
Get the fuck out!
1228
01:10:01,501 --> 01:10:03,771
Okay, well, I wanna know
what this doctor told you.
1229
01:10:04,806 --> 01:10:06,674
I think that would be a breach
1230
01:10:06,708 --> 01:10:09,577
of doctor/patient
confidentiality.
1231
01:10:09,610 --> 01:10:11,546
Well, goddammit, Jimmy,
he told you
1232
01:10:11,579 --> 01:10:13,648
if you don't quit drinking,
you're going to die, right?
1233
01:10:13,681 --> 01:10:15,382
We're all gonna die.
1234
01:10:15,950 --> 01:10:17,317
So you don't care?
1235
01:10:17,952 --> 01:10:19,854
That's what this
whole thing's been about?
1236
01:10:19,887 --> 01:10:21,889
Just-- just you saying goodbye?
1237
01:10:22,790 --> 01:10:25,425
I'm going out doing
what I do best.
1238
01:10:25,459 --> 01:10:27,962
And you expect me to sit here
and watch you kill yourself?
1239
01:10:27,995 --> 01:10:31,632
I was never
expecting you at all.
1240
01:10:31,666 --> 01:10:33,534
You're a big boy now.
1241
01:10:33,568 --> 01:10:36,704
You can do
whatever it is you like.
1242
01:10:36,738 --> 01:10:38,405
Yeah, I am.
1243
01:10:38,438 --> 01:10:40,641
What the fuck
do you think you're doing?
1244
01:10:40,675 --> 01:10:42,275
You gotta stop drinking!
1245
01:10:42,309 --> 01:10:45,278
Fuck are you
to tell me what to do?
1246
01:10:45,312 --> 01:10:47,949
You're--
You don't mean shit to me.
1247
01:10:47,982 --> 01:10:49,717
You'd have figured that out.
1248
01:10:49,751 --> 01:10:51,719
You're nothing but my ride.
1249
01:10:53,921 --> 01:10:56,289
All right, fuck this. I'm--
1250
01:10:56,323 --> 01:10:58,960
I'm out. I'm not dealing
with this fucking shit.
1251
01:10:58,993 --> 01:11:00,828
David!
1252
01:11:02,395 --> 01:11:03,798
David,
1253
01:11:03,831 --> 01:11:05,967
I'm sorry.
1254
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:07,467
I shouldn't have said that.
1255
01:11:07,501 --> 01:11:09,369
Listen, just,
1256
01:11:09,402 --> 01:11:12,439
just bear with me
for a little bit longer.
1257
01:11:16,544 --> 01:11:18,846
I can't sit here and watch you
commit suicide.
1258
01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:21,849
-I'm not--
-Just one--
just get me to Columbus.
1259
01:11:21,883 --> 01:11:24,484
-Just one more gig.
-All right.
1260
01:11:24,519 --> 01:11:29,289
I'll take you to Columbus,
but then I'm going. Okay?
1261
01:11:37,899 --> 01:11:41,401
You know,
I-- I just don't get it.
Like, why can't you stop?
1262
01:11:43,503 --> 01:11:45,873
I'm a lost cause, kid.
1263
01:11:45,907 --> 01:11:48,676
Don't start caring
about me too much.
1264
01:11:53,014 --> 01:11:54,081
Too late.
1265
01:12:09,997 --> 01:12:11,632
Is this the place?
1266
01:12:11,666 --> 01:12:13,568
Yeah,
I just gotta drop off a letter.
1267
01:12:15,903 --> 01:12:19,674
- Hey, is that the girl
from the pictures? What--
1268
01:12:19,707 --> 01:12:22,342
Why are you ducking?
Is there a sniper?
1269
01:12:22,375 --> 01:12:26,413
I-- I wrote her a letter
and I just wanna
stick it in her mailbox.
1270
01:12:26,446 --> 01:12:29,116
-Is she gone?
-Yeah, she went inside.
1271
01:12:31,085 --> 01:12:33,921
Okay, well, I don't get it.
She's right there. Just...
1272
01:12:33,955 --> 01:12:36,489
Nah, I can't talk to her
face-to-face.
1273
01:12:36,524 --> 01:12:39,627
Come on, man.
You really can't just go and talk to her?
1274
01:12:39,660 --> 01:12:43,865
You don't-- Shut up.
You don't understand.
We were engaged.
1275
01:12:43,898 --> 01:12:47,902
And I completely disappeared
on her. I just... ghosted her.
1276
01:12:48,870 --> 01:12:51,072
I wouldn't even
answer her phone calls.
1277
01:12:51,105 --> 01:12:53,040
I haven't seen her
in over 20 years.
1278
01:12:53,074 --> 01:12:55,977
Okay, well, at least you could
go talk to her, you know...
1279
01:12:56,010 --> 01:12:57,044
like a man?
1280
01:12:58,112 --> 01:12:59,814
Pretty sure I'm the last person
1281
01:12:59,847 --> 01:13:02,382
she wants to see
at her doorstep, so...
1282
01:13:02,415 --> 01:13:03,483
keep the car runnin'.
1283
01:13:35,950 --> 01:13:37,585
- Jimmy?
- Laura.
1284
01:13:37,618 --> 01:13:39,887
I wrote you a letter, and...
1285
01:13:41,055 --> 01:13:44,025
well, I was just
gonna stick it in your...
1286
01:13:45,226 --> 01:13:46,493
Uh...
1287
01:13:49,196 --> 01:13:50,564
Wait!
1288
01:13:51,565 --> 01:13:53,968
If you have something
to say to me...
1289
01:13:56,003 --> 01:13:58,105
say it to my face.
1290
01:14:00,074 --> 01:14:02,009
All right. Uh...
1291
01:14:02,043 --> 01:14:05,813
Well, it's like I said
in the letter. I--
1292
01:14:05,846 --> 01:14:08,649
You know, I was
reflecting on my life, and...
1293
01:14:08,683 --> 01:14:11,519
it wasn't you, it was me,
1294
01:14:11,552 --> 01:14:14,055
and... I was stupid.
1295
01:14:15,523 --> 01:14:20,995
That was basically
what's in the letter.
That's the meat of it.
1296
01:14:22,863 --> 01:14:24,598
I wrote it so much better.
1297
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:30,604
Laura, I was scared,
and, I mean...
1298
01:14:31,706 --> 01:14:33,941
you were real,
and it was a good thing,
1299
01:14:33,975 --> 01:14:37,078
and I w-- I wasn't used to
having good things in my life.
1300
01:14:37,111 --> 01:14:40,748
So I panicked.
1301
01:14:40,781 --> 01:14:44,318
And I've regretted it
every day of my life since.
1302
01:14:45,920 --> 01:14:48,756
You were the love of my life.
You still are.
1303
01:14:50,157 --> 01:14:51,726
It hasn't stopped.
1304
01:14:55,563 --> 01:14:57,198
So this is you
saying you're sorry?
1305
01:14:57,231 --> 01:15:01,202
Yes! Yes, incredibly sorry.
1306
01:15:01,235 --> 01:15:03,270
Nothing but sorry.
1307
01:15:05,039 --> 01:15:06,107
I believe you.
1308
01:15:07,575 --> 01:15:10,211
I forgave you, years ago.
1309
01:15:12,780 --> 01:15:14,715
But it's nice
to hear you say it.
1310
01:15:18,152 --> 01:15:19,687
You wanna come inside?
1311
01:15:19,720 --> 01:15:21,655
Yeah.
1312
01:15:30,264 --> 01:15:32,166
Can I get you anything?
1313
01:15:32,199 --> 01:15:34,535
I could really use a drink.
1314
01:15:34,568 --> 01:15:37,304
I can't help with that. I don't
have anything in the house.
1315
01:15:38,305 --> 01:15:39,940
Really?
1316
01:15:39,974 --> 01:15:41,809
All right.
1317
01:15:41,842 --> 01:15:45,579
Well, you do look fantastic.
You haven't aged a day.
1318
01:15:45,613 --> 01:15:46,680
Thank you.
1319
01:15:47,782 --> 01:15:50,551
Who is in the car?
1320
01:15:50,584 --> 01:15:52,553
Oh, that's David.
1321
01:15:52,586 --> 01:15:54,121
He's my son.
1322
01:15:55,689 --> 01:15:57,158
Uh...
1323
01:15:57,191 --> 01:16:00,094
listen, it's a long story,
but he's 21.
1324
01:16:00,127 --> 01:16:02,663
It was-- it was after us.
1325
01:16:02,696 --> 01:16:04,065
Did you marry her?
1326
01:16:05,032 --> 01:16:07,868
I-- I guess on paper.
1327
01:16:07,902 --> 01:16:10,671
But it didn't last long.
I didn't love her.
1328
01:16:13,607 --> 01:16:15,609
If that makes any sense.
1329
01:16:15,643 --> 01:16:20,981
Yeah. Um, so, you loved me, but
you ran out on our engagement.
1330
01:16:21,015 --> 01:16:23,150
Then you met a woman
who you didn't love,
1331
01:16:23,184 --> 01:16:26,087
so you married her
and had a baby with her.
1332
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:31,092
Actually, she was pregnant
before I married her.
1333
01:16:31,125 --> 01:16:33,160
Well,
that makes everything better.
1334
01:16:33,194 --> 01:16:34,862
Please invite him in.
1335
01:16:42,670 --> 01:16:46,073
So, basically, I went with
the best and the safest option,
1336
01:16:46,107 --> 01:16:48,776
which was to drop out of
med school, and here we are.
1337
01:16:50,244 --> 01:16:53,848
Well, there's no one better
to learn comedy from than Jimmy.
1338
01:16:55,282 --> 01:16:59,720
-So what are your plans now?
-I got a show next Friday
1339
01:16:59,753 --> 01:17:02,656
at Magooby's Comedy Club
in town.
1340
01:17:02,690 --> 01:17:05,893
And, uh, I'm just gonna
get a motel till then.
1341
01:17:05,926 --> 01:17:07,962
And I'm heading
to New York soon.
1342
01:17:07,995 --> 01:17:09,997
-That's exciting.
-Yeah.
1343
01:17:10,030 --> 01:17:12,266
But, you know,
you should go see Jimmy's show.
1344
01:17:12,299 --> 01:17:14,902
It's been a long time
since I've seen his act.
1345
01:17:14,935 --> 01:17:16,303
Maybe I will.
1346
01:17:16,337 --> 01:17:18,739
We met at a comedy club.
Did you know that?
1347
01:17:18,772 --> 01:17:21,775
-No. No, really?
-Yeah.
1348
01:17:21,809 --> 01:17:26,814
I went up to him after his show
and told him how funny he was,
and he asked me out.
1349
01:17:26,847 --> 01:17:29,283
I'm sure I'm the only girl
that's ever happened to.
1350
01:17:30,818 --> 01:17:33,020
You're the only one
that mattered.
1351
01:17:34,221 --> 01:17:37,691
Well, listen, David,
if you're sticking around...
1352
01:17:37,725 --> 01:17:39,960
You know, why don't
you guys just stay here?
1353
01:17:39,994 --> 01:17:42,730
I-- It's better than
wasting money on a motel,
1354
01:17:42,763 --> 01:17:45,366
and I've got plenty of room.
1355
01:17:45,399 --> 01:17:48,836
Yeah, that's--
that's fine with me. Thanks.
1356
01:17:50,237 --> 01:17:53,741
-Yeah.
-That's, uh--
that's really nice.
1357
01:17:53,774 --> 01:17:56,977
I'm gonna grab something
out of my car.
I'll-- I'll be right back.
1358
01:18:01,782 --> 01:18:04,118
-You really care about him,
don't you?
-Yeah, I--
1359
01:18:04,151 --> 01:18:06,020
I haven't known him
that long, but...
1360
01:18:06,053 --> 01:18:07,388
yeah, I do a lot. Yeah.
1361
01:18:07,421 --> 01:18:09,823
How bad is it?
1362
01:18:09,857 --> 01:18:11,725
He doesn't look well.
1363
01:18:11,759 --> 01:18:17,231
-I mean-- I mean,
he's dying, so...
-Cirrhosis?
1364
01:18:17,264 --> 01:18:21,368
I mean, he-- he saw a doctor,
you know? That doctor, you know,
must've told him that
1365
01:18:21,402 --> 01:18:23,837
if he doesn't quit drinking,
he's gonna die.
1366
01:18:23,871 --> 01:18:27,041
But he doesn't give a shit.
It's like he doesn't even care.
1367
01:18:28,142 --> 01:18:31,245
It's not that simple.
He's an addict.
1368
01:18:31,278 --> 01:18:33,380
Until he decides he wants
to do it for himself,
1369
01:18:33,414 --> 01:18:36,350
there's nothing you
or anyone else can do for him.
1370
01:18:40,287 --> 01:18:42,256
You, uh, get what you needed?
1371
01:18:42,289 --> 01:18:45,059
Yeah. Thanks.
1372
01:18:46,026 --> 01:18:49,430
So, why don't you guys
get cleaned up,
and I'll make us some dinner?
1373
01:18:49,463 --> 01:18:51,198
-Great.
-Okay.
1374
01:18:52,499 --> 01:18:54,902
Well,
you guys must be having fun.
1375
01:18:54,935 --> 01:18:58,772
I used to love going on the road
with Jimmy, seeing America.
1376
01:18:58,806 --> 01:19:02,409
Oh, I-- I love it.
I mean, this is what
I wanna do with my life, so.
1377
01:19:02,443 --> 01:19:05,079
I-- I'd love to see
your act some time.
1378
01:19:05,112 --> 01:19:09,984
As a matter of fact,
I actually just uploaded a set
I did at Dad's show in Akron.
1379
01:19:10,017 --> 01:19:12,987
Um... you, uh--
you wanna see it?
1380
01:19:13,020 --> 01:19:16,824
-Yeah, that'd be great.
-Cool. Um, yeah,
I'll go get my computer.
1381
01:19:21,829 --> 01:19:24,465
He is a good kid. I like him.
1382
01:19:25,499 --> 01:19:27,134
Yeah, he is.
1383
01:19:28,969 --> 01:19:32,273
You're real quiet.
What's going on?
1384
01:19:34,842 --> 01:19:37,444
It's just,
I don't know, overwhelming?
1385
01:19:37,478 --> 01:19:41,482
Just, you know,
being here with you. Again.
1386
01:19:43,317 --> 01:19:44,451
I get it.
1387
01:19:46,588 --> 01:19:49,490
I had a bad couple of years
after you left.
1388
01:19:49,524 --> 01:19:51,458
I got married too.
1389
01:19:51,492 --> 01:19:54,562
He was a good guy.
1390
01:19:54,596 --> 01:19:58,633
But I was dealing with
a lot of grief back then,
and I got angry.
1391
01:20:00,100 --> 01:20:03,070
Angry at him
for being so decent.
1392
01:20:05,339 --> 01:20:06,508
Angry...
1393
01:20:07,542 --> 01:20:11,178
at him caring so much
when I couldn't.
1394
01:20:11,211 --> 01:20:13,180
That made me hate myself.
1395
01:20:14,481 --> 01:20:17,284
Pretty much climbed inside
a bottle of Merlot, and...
1396
01:20:18,919 --> 01:20:23,190
then I watched him struggle
and beg and try to fix me.
1397
01:20:24,191 --> 01:20:26,360
And eventually
I watched him leave.
1398
01:20:28,395 --> 01:20:29,897
I was by myself.
1399
01:20:30,898 --> 01:20:31,965
Alone.
1400
01:20:33,100 --> 01:20:34,602
That's when I hit my bottom.
1401
01:20:34,636 --> 01:20:38,005
Then I realized
I had two choices:
1402
01:20:39,473 --> 01:20:41,275
die inside that bottle,
1403
01:20:42,409 --> 01:20:44,244
or fight for my life.
1404
01:20:44,278 --> 01:20:47,348
I've been sober 15 years.
1405
01:20:47,381 --> 01:20:51,218
That's-- that's good.
1406
01:20:52,453 --> 01:20:55,557
I'm going to a meeting tomorrow.
Wanna come with me?
1407
01:20:55,590 --> 01:20:57,625
Uh...
1408
01:20:57,659 --> 01:21:02,196
I-- I don't think so. That's--
It's kind of off-brand for me.
1409
01:21:04,198 --> 01:21:07,868
It's just that
I think David and...
1410
01:21:07,901 --> 01:21:10,705
some other people might like
to have you around for a while.
1411
01:21:12,005 --> 01:21:13,140
Um...
1412
01:21:14,642 --> 01:21:17,311
uh, I'm gonna hit the bathroom.
1413
01:21:31,291 --> 01:21:33,728
Hey. Don't blow this.
She's really great.
1414
01:21:34,928 --> 01:21:35,996
Yeah...
1415
01:21:43,538 --> 01:21:44,606
All right.
1416
01:21:46,608 --> 01:21:49,977
So, uh, it's on its own browser.
1417
01:21:50,944 --> 01:21:53,280
-It's queued up?
-Yep. There it is. Okay.
1418
01:21:53,313 --> 01:21:55,949
...I know
I kinda look like a, uh,
1419
01:21:55,983 --> 01:21:58,185
John Cusack
before he hit puberty...
1420
01:21:58,218 --> 01:22:02,289
- That's good.
It's a good opener.
- Appreciate it.
1421
01:22:02,322 --> 01:22:04,626
...I, uh-- I just
dropped out of med school.
1422
01:22:04,659 --> 01:22:06,493
Kind of a stupid joke.
1423
01:22:06,528 --> 01:22:08,362
I like stupid.
1424
01:22:11,398 --> 01:22:12,600
Oh, good morning!
1425
01:22:12,634 --> 01:22:14,201
-Morning!
-How'd you sleep?
1426
01:22:14,234 --> 01:22:16,437
Great, yeah.
Thanks for letting us stay here.
1427
01:22:16,470 --> 01:22:19,973
My pleasure.
Is, uh, Jimmy awake?
1428
01:22:20,007 --> 01:22:22,209
Uh, yeah, I think
I heard him moving around.
1429
01:22:24,044 --> 01:22:26,447
- I hope you like waffles.
- Oh, yeah.
1430
01:22:26,480 --> 01:22:30,083
-So, New York is next?
-Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty excited.
1431
01:22:30,117 --> 01:22:34,388
Uh, got some friends out there,
so, you know, should be good.
1432
01:22:34,421 --> 01:22:37,324
I like New York. It's just
a little "big city" for me.
1433
01:22:37,357 --> 01:22:39,694
-Yeah.
-These days,
I like things quieter.
1434
01:22:39,727 --> 01:22:41,563
Good morning, sleepyhead!
1435
01:22:41,596 --> 01:22:43,631
-Yeah...
-Can I make you some waffles?
1436
01:22:43,665 --> 01:22:46,500
Ugh. God, no. Uh...
1437
01:22:47,468 --> 01:22:49,269
just coffee if you got it.
1438
01:22:49,303 --> 01:22:52,306
-You still take it black?
-Good memory.
1439
01:22:53,307 --> 01:22:57,812
So, I took the day off work.
What would you guys like to do?
1440
01:22:59,012 --> 01:23:00,515
Why don't we hang out here?
1441
01:23:10,625 --> 01:23:11,693
"Mices"?
1442
01:23:13,628 --> 01:23:16,764
Yeah, like a lot of mice.
1443
01:23:16,798 --> 01:23:20,434
You know you can't add an "S"
to a word that's already plural.
1444
01:23:22,035 --> 01:23:24,471
All right, if you're
gonna be all technical,
1445
01:23:24,506 --> 01:23:26,206
then I ain't got shit.
1446
01:23:28,141 --> 01:23:32,346
Listen, why don't you guys
just play together?
I'm gonna go lay down for a bit.
1447
01:23:41,121 --> 01:23:43,357
Okay! What do you got?
1448
01:23:48,530 --> 01:23:49,597
"Queeve"?
1449
01:23:52,132 --> 01:23:54,034
That's... not a word.
1450
01:23:54,067 --> 01:23:56,671
Oh, sure it is.
That's-- that's a medical term.
1451
01:23:56,704 --> 01:23:59,106
You are such a bullshitter!
1452
01:23:59,139 --> 01:24:02,209
All right, where's my phone?
I'm gonna look this up. Uh...
1453
01:24:05,112 --> 01:24:08,516
-That works!
-No, no, no. Um...
1454
01:24:08,550 --> 01:24:10,818
Where's my phone?
I'm gonna Google this.
1455
01:24:10,852 --> 01:24:13,120
Just admit it, you got nothing!
1456
01:24:13,153 --> 01:24:16,323
- Ow, my "queeve"!
- God.
1457
01:24:16,356 --> 01:24:17,625
Jimmy!
1458
01:24:19,493 --> 01:24:20,595
Jimmy?
1459
01:24:22,296 --> 01:24:23,363
Jimmy?
1460
01:24:27,669 --> 01:24:29,102
What are you doing?
1461
01:24:37,277 --> 01:24:38,546
I wanna stop.
1462
01:24:39,547 --> 01:24:40,915
I do. I just...
1463
01:24:42,584 --> 01:24:45,085
I wanna stop.
I just gotta figure out how.
1464
01:24:45,118 --> 01:24:47,722
Good!
We'll help you. Right, Laura?
1465
01:24:48,790 --> 01:24:50,592
I'll stay as long
as it takes, Dad.
1466
01:24:54,328 --> 01:24:55,362
You can do this.
1467
01:25:37,170 --> 01:25:41,341
Okay. Okay.
Doing good. All right.
1468
01:25:41,375 --> 01:25:43,878
-Okay, I'll take care of this.
-Yes, thank you.
1469
01:25:43,911 --> 01:25:46,814
Um, David,
why don't you get some rest?
1470
01:25:46,848 --> 01:25:50,885
We can do this in shifts
until he's out of danger.
1471
01:25:50,918 --> 01:25:54,287
-Okay, but call me if
you need anything, all right?
-Yep, I will.
1472
01:25:57,925 --> 01:26:01,194
All right.
It's okay. It's okay.
1473
01:26:01,228 --> 01:26:03,831
You...
1474
01:26:10,672 --> 01:26:11,939
Okay.
1475
01:26:16,744 --> 01:26:19,914
That's a good sign.
You got your appetite back.
1476
01:26:19,947 --> 01:26:21,883
Yeah, how-- how ya feeling?
1477
01:26:22,884 --> 01:26:24,752
Like shit.
1478
01:26:24,786 --> 01:26:28,455
So, that's an improvement.
1479
01:26:28,488 --> 01:26:33,928
Listen, I'm not good with
"thank yous," so I'm gonna
skip all that, but, uh...
1480
01:26:33,961 --> 01:26:37,264
I know this couldn't
have been easy on you guys.
1481
01:26:37,297 --> 01:26:38,766
-It wasn't.
-It was terrible.
1482
01:26:38,800 --> 01:26:40,434
-The worst.
-Awful.
1483
01:26:40,467 --> 01:26:43,437
Thanks.
Starting to get some optimism,
1484
01:26:43,470 --> 01:26:44,872
and you're busting my balls.
1485
01:26:46,541 --> 01:26:48,576
You've got a long road
ahead of you.
1486
01:26:48,609 --> 01:26:50,812
But at least you're
out of physical danger.
1487
01:27:01,656 --> 01:27:04,224
And I'd like to thank
my family and my sponsor
1488
01:27:04,257 --> 01:27:06,994
for getting me to the point
that I'm at today. Thank you.
1489
01:27:09,296 --> 01:27:11,766
Thank you, Alexa.
You did a great job.
1490
01:27:11,799 --> 01:27:14,569
Would anybody else like to
come up and share this evening?
1491
01:27:15,737 --> 01:27:17,437
Yeah. Come on up, come on up.
1492
01:27:21,542 --> 01:27:25,580
- Hey, keep it going for Greg,
ladies and gentlemen.
1493
01:27:25,613 --> 01:27:29,282
Sorry, force of habit. Uh...
1494
01:27:29,316 --> 01:27:32,252
uh, my name's Jimmy,
and I'm an alcoholic.
1495
01:27:32,285 --> 01:27:36,323
- Hi, Jimmy.
- Yeah, it's strange that, uh,
1496
01:27:36,356 --> 01:27:41,896
I've used that as
an opening line on stage
in comedy for a million years.
1497
01:27:41,929 --> 01:27:44,498
Honestly, it kind of
stings to say it for real
1498
01:27:44,532 --> 01:27:48,035
- and not get the laugh.
- But, um...
1499
01:27:48,069 --> 01:27:50,972
I started drinking
as a teenager.
1500
01:27:51,005 --> 01:27:53,908
I grew up thinking
I was worthless, and...
1501
01:27:54,876 --> 01:27:58,345
when I found alcohol, I don't
think it changed it that much,
1502
01:27:58,378 --> 01:28:02,717
but it just made me not care
that I was a piece of shit.
1503
01:28:02,750 --> 01:28:04,986
You know,
it deadens your emotions.
1504
01:28:05,019 --> 01:28:08,589
Uh, which I thought
was a good thing.
1505
01:28:08,623 --> 01:28:14,361
Like that line from
Pet Sematary
where the guy says, "Yeah,
sometimes dead is better."
1506
01:28:14,394 --> 01:28:16,931
I believed that.
1507
01:28:16,964 --> 01:28:18,966
And I would lie to myself.
1508
01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:23,004
Uh, denial,
as I guess you guys could say.
1509
01:28:23,037 --> 01:28:27,842
I mean, I remember I would be--
You know, booze shakes
so bad in the morning
1510
01:28:27,875 --> 01:28:32,713
that I would be white-knuckling
a breakfast sandwich and
having to move my mouth to it
1511
01:28:32,747 --> 01:28:38,052
and still thinking, "I don't
have an alcohol problem.
It's probably just a little bit
1512
01:28:38,085 --> 01:28:42,557
- of Parkinson's disease going
on there. I'm fine." But, uh...
1513
01:28:42,590 --> 01:28:47,829
I know this is gonna be
a lot of hard work, and I hope
to be where you are someday.
1514
01:28:47,862 --> 01:28:49,530
Uh...
1515
01:28:49,564 --> 01:28:51,566
I just hate-- hate
saying "quitting."
1516
01:28:51,599 --> 01:28:55,002
I always thought of "quitting"
as a word of weakness, and...
1517
01:28:56,369 --> 01:28:58,873
I know now that
I'm not a weak person,
1518
01:28:58,906 --> 01:29:02,375
so instead of saying "I quit"
from now on-- for--
1519
01:29:02,409 --> 01:29:05,980
from now on, I'm just gonna say
"I retired undefeated."
1520
01:29:06,013 --> 01:29:09,416
So. Thank you,
and tip your waitresses.
1521
01:29:17,758 --> 01:29:23,064
You have no idea how it felt
to be that clearheaded
on stage tonight.
1522
01:29:23,097 --> 01:29:27,869
I like that
sharing at an AA meeting
is "on stage" for you.
1523
01:29:27,902 --> 01:29:30,972
-Well... I got some chuckles.
-Yeah, you did.
1524
01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:36,510
So, uh, how would you feel
if I told you that
1525
01:29:36,544 --> 01:29:42,650
now you're pretty much
my sole and only
solitary reason for living?
1526
01:29:42,683 --> 01:29:45,620
- Does that put too--
too much pressure on you?
1527
01:29:45,653 --> 01:29:48,055
Does that put you
in an awkward position?
1528
01:29:53,794 --> 01:29:56,097
Well... I'm, uh, going to bed.
1529
01:29:57,865 --> 01:30:00,701
- You say something?
- Nope.
1530
01:30:00,735 --> 01:30:01,903
Good night.
1531
01:30:05,606 --> 01:30:10,111
Yeah, you know,
I think maybe you should
sleep in my room tonight.
1532
01:30:10,144 --> 01:30:12,013
For safety.
1533
01:30:13,480 --> 01:30:16,050
Yeah, all right.
If it's a safety issue.
1534
01:30:28,863 --> 01:30:32,166
Listen, I know that
couldn't have been easy on you.
1535
01:30:32,199 --> 01:30:34,535
It wasn't.
1536
01:30:37,504 --> 01:30:40,508
You don't by any chance
still have that ring I got you?
1537
01:30:45,478 --> 01:30:47,148
Do you mean...
1538
01:30:50,117 --> 01:30:51,686
this?
1539
01:30:52,753 --> 01:30:54,689
I think we should pawn it.
1540
01:30:54,722 --> 01:30:56,090
I thought about it.
1541
01:30:58,025 --> 01:31:02,763
Why don't we just consider this
the world's longest engagement?
1542
01:31:05,032 --> 01:31:06,767
It still fits.
1543
01:31:06,801 --> 01:31:08,869
It's a good sign.
1544
01:31:08,903 --> 01:31:10,304
We could do it right this time.
1545
01:31:11,906 --> 01:31:13,774
I'm a different person now.
1546
01:31:15,176 --> 01:31:18,079
-Than you were eight days ago?
-Oh, come on.
1547
01:31:20,881 --> 01:31:22,950
I know how this can go.
1548
01:31:22,984 --> 01:31:24,752
I'm not gonna get hurt again.
1549
01:31:24,785 --> 01:31:26,253
You won't.
1550
01:31:26,287 --> 01:31:27,688
I'm serious.
1551
01:31:29,056 --> 01:31:31,125
I don't wanna
be that person anymore.
1552
01:31:33,160 --> 01:31:35,596
Let's take it one day at a time.
1553
01:31:35,629 --> 01:31:37,698
I'm just so happy
you're here now.
1554
01:31:54,615 --> 01:31:56,017
- Jimmy!
- Mark.
1555
01:31:56,050 --> 01:31:57,685
It's been a long time!
1556
01:31:57,718 --> 01:31:59,720
-How are you, sir?
-Good. How you doing?
1557
01:31:59,754 --> 01:32:02,623
-Good.
-You're a little early, pal.
We're not even open yet.
1558
01:32:02,656 --> 01:32:05,059
Trying to beat the paparazzi.
1559
01:32:05,092 --> 01:32:07,094
-This is my son, David,
and, uh...
-Hey, how you doing?
1560
01:32:07,128 --> 01:32:09,130
-Nice to meet you, man.
-...my girlfriend, Laura.
1561
01:32:09,163 --> 01:32:12,867
Nice to meet ya.
So, uh, what are we drinking?
1562
01:32:12,900 --> 01:32:15,136
You know, just a--
just a bottle of water.
1563
01:32:15,169 --> 01:32:18,739
- "Water," yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah, just-- just water.
1564
01:32:18,773 --> 01:32:21,842
Who are you and what have you
done with the real Jimmy Quinn?
1565
01:32:23,310 --> 01:32:24,745
Just water.
1566
01:32:24,779 --> 01:32:25,846
Okay!
1567
01:32:26,781 --> 01:32:28,816
All right. A table?
1568
01:32:36,757 --> 01:32:38,659
Well, how you feeling?
1569
01:32:38,692 --> 01:32:40,761
Better once I'm on that stage.
1570
01:32:40,795 --> 01:32:42,696
Well, I'm excited to see you.
1571
01:32:42,730 --> 01:32:44,899
-It's really been too long.
-Yeah.
1572
01:32:45,866 --> 01:32:49,603
Hey, I-- I don't wanna beat
a dead horse with this, but...
1573
01:32:49,637 --> 01:32:55,609
thank you both again,
'cause I couldn't have done this
without your support, and...
1574
01:32:55,643 --> 01:32:57,912
I was a dead man in my own eyes
a week ago,
1575
01:32:57,945 --> 01:33:00,981
and... here we are, so.
1576
01:33:01,015 --> 01:33:03,717
And you! I just wanted to say...
1577
01:33:05,019 --> 01:33:07,254
you're everything
I could've wanted in a son,
1578
01:33:07,288 --> 01:33:11,759
and I'm really sorry I wasn't
there to watch you grow up.
1579
01:33:11,792 --> 01:33:14,061
But I was really
hoping for a girl.
1580
01:33:17,198 --> 01:33:18,232
Okay.
1581
01:33:19,733 --> 01:33:22,136
- Okay, you guys ready
for your headliner?
1582
01:33:22,169 --> 01:33:25,306
Come on! You could do
better than that! You guys
ready for your headliner?
1583
01:33:25,339 --> 01:33:29,310
- There you go! You guys
are in for a real treat.
1584
01:33:29,343 --> 01:33:32,113
This guy has been entertaining
audiences for over 30 years.
1585
01:33:32,146 --> 01:33:35,883
I'm talking about the legendary
Road Dog himself, Jimmy Quinn!
1586
01:33:42,890 --> 01:33:45,226
Vince! Keep it going for Vince!
1587
01:33:50,364 --> 01:33:53,701
Weird gynecological instrument.
1588
01:33:53,734 --> 01:33:57,271
- Yeah. Hey, my name's Jimmy,
and I'm an alcoholic.
1589
01:33:59,740 --> 01:34:04,445
Actually, I-- I quit
drinking a week ago. Uh...
1590
01:34:05,980 --> 01:34:10,284
So, uh--
But I'm still an alcoholic,
so the jokes should still work.
1591
01:34:10,317 --> 01:34:14,121
Uh... yeah, I used to say that,
uh...
1592
01:34:15,723 --> 01:34:18,893
yeah, I lost more friends
to AA than, uh--
1593
01:34:18,926 --> 01:34:22,897
than St. Jude's did
to dead kids with cancer.
1594
01:34:25,032 --> 01:34:29,203
You know,
you see that chip on their ring,
and it's like, uh--
1595
01:34:29,236 --> 01:34:34,808
- it's like seeing a toe tag
on their dead corpse.
1596
01:34:34,842 --> 01:34:38,913
My doctor told me that
I had to quit-- quit
drinking 'cause, uh...
1597
01:34:38,946 --> 01:34:41,048
And I told him, you know, uh--
1598
01:34:41,081 --> 01:34:47,421
You know, uh, I prefer to
think of it as, uh, I retired--
1599
01:34:48,722 --> 01:34:52,459
Ah, I-- I fucked up the--
fucked the punchline up.
1600
01:34:52,493 --> 01:34:55,996
Maybe that's what I should quit.
Fucking up punchlines.
1601
01:34:56,030 --> 01:34:58,332
Can I get a sponsor for that?
1602
01:34:58,365 --> 01:35:02,770
It's supposed to be,
"I've-- I didn't quit drinking,
I retired undefeated."
1603
01:35:02,803 --> 01:35:06,740
Which... probably be funnier
if I didn't fuck it up.
1604
01:35:06,774 --> 01:35:07,841
Uh...
1605
01:35:11,145 --> 01:35:14,248
I had, uh, two ladies walk out
of my show last night 'cause--
1606
01:35:14,281 --> 01:35:19,186
uh, complaining that I was
drunk on stage-- uh, before.
1607
01:35:19,220 --> 01:35:23,724
Like, before I quit drinking.
They walked out of the show,
and they were complaining
1608
01:35:23,757 --> 01:35:26,060
that I was-- you know,
'cause I was drunk.
1609
01:35:26,093 --> 01:35:30,331
And I'm like, I'm not--
I'm not driving a bus, you know?
1610
01:35:30,364 --> 01:35:32,433
I'm a comedian.
1611
01:35:32,466 --> 01:35:37,905
Bus...
1612
01:35:37,938 --> 01:35:40,307
You guys want some easy comedy?
1613
01:35:40,341 --> 01:35:42,276
What's the problem?
1614
01:35:42,309 --> 01:35:43,944
Uh...
1615
01:35:45,145 --> 01:35:48,382
Yeah,
here's a-- here's an impression
of me when I start in comedy.
1616
01:35:56,390 --> 01:35:59,293
It's supposed to
sound like a bong. But you--
1617
01:36:02,997 --> 01:36:06,400
Bring back the last guy!
- Yeah!
1618
01:36:06,433 --> 01:36:09,470
You know what? That's-- Fine.
1619
01:36:09,503 --> 01:36:11,772
You know, it's not a bad idea.
1620
01:36:11,805 --> 01:36:16,977
Vince, why don't you, uh,
control this sinking ship?
1621
01:36:17,011 --> 01:36:20,147
I'm sorry.
This was a fucking mistake.
1622
01:36:26,854 --> 01:36:28,956
Okay!
Well, that was legendary.
1623
01:36:35,195 --> 01:36:37,197
Hey, a-- a whiskey.
1624
01:36:37,231 --> 01:36:40,501
-What the fuck was that?
-I'm gonna fix it
in the second show.
1625
01:36:40,535 --> 01:36:42,537
Mark, I-- I swear to you.
1626
01:36:44,338 --> 01:36:46,140
You better.
1627
01:37:13,334 --> 01:37:16,270
-What the hell are you doing?
-What does it look like?
1628
01:37:18,305 --> 01:37:21,308
You had one bad show! Just--
You gotta give it some time!
1629
01:37:22,242 --> 01:37:24,178
Did you see that?
1630
01:37:24,211 --> 01:37:26,213
It was a fucking embarrassment.
1631
01:37:26,246 --> 01:37:29,883
That wasn't me up there.
This is what I do, David.
1632
01:37:29,917 --> 01:37:31,985
This is who I am, and...
1633
01:37:32,019 --> 01:37:33,387
if I can't have that,
1634
01:37:33,420 --> 01:37:35,989
the rest of it
doesn't mean shit.
1635
01:37:36,023 --> 01:37:38,693
I'm never gonna feel
that way on stage again.
1636
01:37:41,128 --> 01:37:42,530
Mom was right about you.
1637
01:37:42,564 --> 01:37:44,898
You hurt everyone
who cares about you,
1638
01:37:44,932 --> 01:37:46,934
'cause you don't know
what it's like to care.
1639
01:37:48,235 --> 01:37:50,904
I'm taking Laura home,
and I'm leaving tonight.
1640
01:37:50,938 --> 01:37:52,906
And you're never
seeing me again.
1641
01:37:52,940 --> 01:37:54,208
Bye!
1642
01:37:58,011 --> 01:37:59,380
Thanks for the lessons.
1643
01:38:37,619 --> 01:38:40,187
Is that your phone?
1644
01:38:41,355 --> 01:38:43,390
Hold on. Let me take this.
1645
01:38:46,293 --> 01:38:47,928
Ross Daniels.
1646
01:38:47,961 --> 01:38:51,533
Ross! It's your old pal Jimmy.
1647
01:38:55,335 --> 01:38:57,739
You got a lot of
fuckin' nerve calling me.
1648
01:38:58,740 --> 01:39:03,110
Hey, before you get started,
listen, I've-- I fucked up.
1649
01:39:04,077 --> 01:39:07,749
You were a really good friend to
me, and what I did was shitty.
1650
01:39:09,316 --> 01:39:13,020
But if it's any consolation,
I-- I did stop you
1651
01:39:13,053 --> 01:39:16,423
from marrying a girl
that'd sleep with a guy like me.
1652
01:39:16,457 --> 01:39:18,526
You sorry piece of shit.
1653
01:39:18,560 --> 01:39:22,129
Listen to me. If you're calling
to try and get on the show,
1654
01:39:22,162 --> 01:39:26,200
let me tell you,
it'll be a cold day in hell
before I let that happen.
1655
01:39:26,233 --> 01:39:29,737
Goodbye. And go fuck yourself!
1656
01:39:29,771 --> 01:39:31,371
Ross, I'm dyin'.
1657
01:39:33,073 --> 01:39:34,141
What?
1658
01:39:35,510 --> 01:39:38,212
Yeah, my liver's blown out.
1659
01:39:38,245 --> 01:39:39,747
Big surprise, huh?
1660
01:39:39,781 --> 01:39:43,217
I'm-- I'm dyin'.
1661
01:39:44,184 --> 01:39:46,453
If you expect me
to feel bad for you,
1662
01:39:46,487 --> 01:39:48,455
you called the wrong place.
1663
01:39:49,456 --> 01:39:51,526
I get it. I-- I don't blame you.
1664
01:39:51,559 --> 01:39:56,230
I just needed to say
that I'm sorry and
that I regret it, and...
1665
01:39:57,532 --> 01:40:00,602
and that's not
the only reason I'm calling.
1666
01:40:00,635 --> 01:40:03,203
You remember my son, David?
1667
01:40:04,204 --> 01:40:06,473
You mean the kid you ran out on?
1668
01:40:06,508 --> 01:40:11,111
Yeah. Well, he's 21 now,
and guess what?
1669
01:40:11,144 --> 01:40:13,313
He's a stand-up comedian.
1670
01:40:13,347 --> 01:40:17,719
And, uh, I'm telling you,
Ross, the kid's funny.
1671
01:40:19,319 --> 01:40:21,388
You-- Listen to me.
1672
01:40:21,421 --> 01:40:26,393
Whatever you think about me,
I-- I take it. I deserve it.
1673
01:40:26,426 --> 01:40:28,696
But you know that I know funny.
1674
01:40:29,797 --> 01:40:32,534
And, uh, I just want you
to take a look at him.
1675
01:40:32,567 --> 01:40:35,537
His name's Dave Moranto.
1676
01:40:35,570 --> 01:40:39,473
He's in New York.
He's got a set up on YouTube.
1677
01:40:39,507 --> 01:40:43,277
Uh, we don't talk anymore,
but...
1678
01:40:43,310 --> 01:40:48,115
And he doesn't know
that I'm calling you,
and I'd prefer he doesn't know.
1679
01:40:48,148 --> 01:40:49,283
And...
1680
01:40:51,285 --> 01:40:52,720
and that's it.
1681
01:40:55,122 --> 01:40:56,691
And Ross, you know...
1682
01:40:57,792 --> 01:41:00,494
try to remember
some of the laughs we had.
1683
01:41:01,629 --> 01:41:04,264
I'd rather you remember me
like that than,
1684
01:41:05,465 --> 01:41:08,803
you know, over some
bullshit transgression.
1685
01:41:15,843 --> 01:41:16,911
Jimmy?
1686
01:42:13,635 --> 01:42:15,803
Oh, shit. What time is it?
1687
01:42:17,639 --> 01:42:18,706
Can I...
1688
01:42:43,430 --> 01:42:44,766
Hey, comedian.
1689
01:42:46,400 --> 01:42:49,637
You're not here
to drink or watch TV.
1690
01:42:50,772 --> 01:42:52,840
Come on. You're up.
117631