All language subtitles for Only.Murders.in.the.Building.S03E06.720p.10bit.WEBRip.2CH.x265.HEVC-Vegamovies.to.mkv3

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi Download
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:03,504 - OLIVER: Are you going out on a date? - Date? 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,839 No! Tobert has a suspect he has a lead on. 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,591 I'm meeting him for a stakeout, 4 00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:08,759 and the place has a dress code. 5 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:12,221 Jonathan? Howard's sweet boyfriend was your guy? 6 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:14,181 Who else had more to gain from him dying, you know? 7 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,307 Who's he hugging hello? 8 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:18,143 He's wearing a red coat and a cap. 9 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,563 That was Ben's private doctor. One of those, uh, celebrity concierge, 10 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,315 anything-you-need prescription-filler types. 11 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:26,443 You're here! Welcome to my slice of New York. 12 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,655 Hey, you know who was a real fucking pig? 13 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:30,906 Ben Glenroy. 14 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,200 You didn't mean to propose to me? 15 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,284 No, I didn't. 16 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,619 ♪ 17 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,496 Mabel, be my partner. 18 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:38,914 I already have partners. 19 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,542 The old guys? No, they're busy putting together 20 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,837 another bomb of a Broadway show, which leaves you where? 21 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,880 [kissing, moaning] 22 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,217 Shall I draw us a bath? 23 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:54,888 Oliver? 24 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,724 I'm waiting... 25 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,480 [dramatic thunder crack] 26 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,483 ♪ gentle music playing ♪ 27 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,527 [breeze blowing] 28 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:11,905 HOWARD: Theaters are known for their ghosts. 29 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,324 Take the Goosebury. [projector whirring] 30 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,201 In 1919, 31 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:20,080 Gideon Goosebury was a rising star on the Great White Way. 32 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,665 But on opening night, 33 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:25,460 playing the lovesick chimney sweep in Ashes to Ashes, 34 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,881 a 300-pound sandbag came loose from the rafters 35 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:31,592 and brained him in the middle of his second-act monologue. 36 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,594 Legend has it, 37 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:37,973 if you don't sweep Gideon's energy off the stage every night, 38 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,809 he'll find a way to curse your show. 39 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,102 There was the cholera outbreak 40 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,397 that tore through the company of Hamlet in 1949, 41 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,316 John Gielgud's crippling shingles attack 42 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,694 during The Iceman Cometh revival in '88, 43 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:53,989 and now the death of Ben Glenroy. 44 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,032 [thunder rumbles] 45 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,034 ♪ 46 00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,078 When you make the stage a part of your life, 47 00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,457 it can be hard to escape your personal ghosts, too. 48 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,667 [thunder continues] 49 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,337 Your obsessions. 50 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,088 Your failures. 51 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:13,091 Just when you think you've broken free from your old patterns, 52 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,469 boom. 53 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,513 They come back to haunt you. 54 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:19,932 CHARLES: I know, President McKinley, 55 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:22,100 Joy took everything. 56 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,269 Except you and me. 57 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,605 The guys with the attitude problems. 58 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,441 [thunder cracks] 59 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,651 But we'll be fine. 60 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,987 We have each other. 61 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:37,157 HOWARD: But what do you do when your future starts haunting you? 62 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,244 The choices you'll never make. The lives you'll never lead. 63 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,787 [banging on door] 64 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,122 What's more dangerous 65 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,208 than someone whose dreams have died? 66 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,668 Howard! What's wrong? 67 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,753 I have something I need to confess. 68 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,257 I killed Ben Glenroy. 69 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:54,675 [thunder cracks] 70 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,678 ♪ lively theme song playing ♪ 71 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,681 ♪ vocalizing ♪ 72 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,515 [thunder rumbling] 73 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,350 HOWARD: Legend has it, 74 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,935 three sweeps to the north, 75 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,813 three sweeps to the south, you're safe. 76 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,816 I did that every night during Death Rattle. 77 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,484 But on opening night, 78 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,403 [sob] I didn't sweep 79 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,405 [shudders] and Ben died! 80 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,949 - [thunder rumbles] - [sighs] Hold on. 81 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,368 I thought you said you killed Ben Glenroy. 82 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,703 Yes. CHARLES: Now, you're saying 83 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,788 a ghost killed Ben Glenroy. 84 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,832 Yes, Charles! It's perfectly simple! 85 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:12,211 I was protecting our show from a malevolent spirit 86 00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:14,087 with a nightly sweeping ritual. 87 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,672 [sighs] But on opening night, 88 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:18,926 I went to get the broom from KT's office 89 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,595 and it was locked. 90 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,432 Strange noises coming from within. 91 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,852 I should have found her. I should have gotten the key. 92 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:32,648 But I try to never interact with KT because of her casual cruelty. 93 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:33,857 And her breath. 94 00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,985 So I didn't sweep, and five hours later, 95 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,404 Ben was dead! [sobs] 96 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,908 Howard, why haven't you told anyone about this before? 97 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,993 I guess I convinced myself it was all in my head. 98 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,704 But then, this morning, 99 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,834 I saw him. ALL: Who? 100 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,419 Gideon. [thunder cracks] 101 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,005 I was at the theater. 102 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,882 I was sweeping 103 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,717 because we're moving back into the theater tomorrow 104 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,262 and I wanna make sure it's completely ghost-free. 105 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,474 And I heard a noise. 106 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,768 [thunder rumbles] 107 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,064 [eerie chirp] 108 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,817 [soft buzzing] 109 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,820 ♪ eerie music playing ♪ 110 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,614 [buzzing, whirring] 111 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,450 [whoosh] 112 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,453 [echoing] Hello? 113 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,706 Is someone there? 114 00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:31,707 [whoosh] 115 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,710 I know Krav Maga! 116 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,171 [narrating] And there he was, 117 00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:40,883 in his signature cap and red coat. 118 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,801 I said... 119 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,428 Gideon Goosebury! 120 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,514 Is that you? 121 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,807 [narrating] And he said... 122 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,767 FIGURE [echoing]: Sure... 123 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,730 [maniacal laugh] [screaming] 124 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,065 [thunder rumbles] 125 00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:00,152 Howard, I hate to break it to you, but ghosts aren't real. 126 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,612 Oh, of course, they are. 127 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,238 Ho! Man in towel! 128 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,032 Yes, Charles, I'm aware. 129 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,033 [Oliver sighs] 130 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,327 Spoiler alert. MABEL: Nope, 131 00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,579 not the correct usage of that whatsoever. 132 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,706 - Plot twist? - Still no. 133 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,750 You know, I shot a ghost hunter doc once 134 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,086 and we spent an entire night aboard the haunted Queen Mary. 135 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,797 Around 3:00 AM, alone in the dining room, 136 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,467 I saw her with my own two eyes, the Lady in White. 137 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:26,512 Did you know that Queen Mary was England's first queen regnant? 138 00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,139 A lot of people think it was Matilda from the 12th century 139 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,350 but she was never actually crowned. 140 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:34,728 Charles, if the goal was to offer a more interesting anecdote, 141 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,230 we're headed in the wrong direction. 142 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,397 Hello! 143 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,859 Is anyone hearing what I'm saying?! 144 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,862 There is a murderous ghost loose in our theater right now 145 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,781 and he's coming from one of us next! 146 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,742 [thunder cracks] Oh! God! I'm telling you-- 147 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,577 - [crying] - Howard, breathe! 148 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,913 Hey, just, uh, give us a moment. Hm? 149 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,498 Hey, what's up with your tooth? 150 00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,416 Oh, it's a temporary. If I like it, 151 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,294 the dentist says he'll do the rest to match. What do you think? 152 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:02,214 - Bright. Like a headlight. - Oh. Ah. 153 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,384 Okay. Obviously, Howard didn't see an actual ghost 154 00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,386 but I still think it's worthwhile us going over there. 155 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:08,804 Oh, I totally agree. 156 00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:11,181 S-- [laughs] Sorry. We're having a conversation here. 157 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,350 Mabel, did you hear what he said about the cap and the red coat? 158 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,394 - I mean, it kinda sounds like... - Ben's doctor? 159 00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,812 I had the same thought. OLIVER: Jesus. 160 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:20,482 Right, so he saw us last night, and then realized he'd been made... 161 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,527 So he goes straight to the theater this morning to cover his tracks. 162 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,238 Exactly. I mean, if he and Jonathan are behind the poisoning, 163 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,448 then they'd definitely wanna make sure there's no evidence. 164 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,826 That's good. [clears throat loudly] 165 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,620 Oh, sorry. Hi! We're still here. 166 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,497 Yeah, the original three who came into the dining room. 167 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,623 Yeah, remember that? 168 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,624 Yeah. 169 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,794 You suspect Jonathan now? 170 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,963 And you're investigating with this guy? 171 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:46,466 Jonathan was Ben's understudy. That's a pretty big motive. 172 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,887 And I told you I was going on a stakeout with Tobert last night. 173 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,681 Oh yeah. Right. I forgot. 174 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,850 I was probably preoccupied with Joy, 175 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,811 who left me, by the way. Spoiler alert. 176 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,439 Wait, Joy left you? When? 177 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,691 - CHARLES: Yesterday. - Are you okay, Charles? 178 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,985 Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. 179 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,486 This is not my first rodeo. 180 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,906 This old clown's been bucked by Lady Love before 181 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,782 and got back up to ride again. 182 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,451 Yee-haw! 183 00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:14,077 - Very convincing. - Well, the point is 184 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,704 I'm completely fine, 185 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,957 and Joy did not write "fucking pig." 186 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,084 - [thunder rumbles] - Well, someone did. 187 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,878 Is it possible this ghost thing 188 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,130 is Howard trying to cover for Jonathan? 189 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,090 He sounded genuinely distraught. 190 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:30,010 And we all know that Howard can't act his way out of a damp paper bag. 191 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,846 Here's a thought. Why don't I go with Howard 192 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,806 to the theater alone? 193 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:35,891 I'll throw him a bone. 194 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,143 We can look into his ghost thing, you know? 195 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:42,314 - What? - Nothing, it's just surprising. 196 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,775 You haven't exactly been driving this investigation. 197 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:47,277 In fact, you've been anti-investigation. 198 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,781 Well, why don't I make it up to you with a little solo mish? 199 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,659 Mish is short f-for mishegoss. 200 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,744 No way. I'm coming, too. 201 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,829 - If you're going, so am I. - Alright, I'm gonna tell Tobert. 202 00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:01,375 Wait! Mabel, a word? You know, we're kind of a trio. 203 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,918 And we're not hiring. 204 00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,128 Alright, fine. 205 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,506 This'll be fun, the three of us together. 206 00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,007 I've missed this. [Charles and Oliver laugh] 207 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,844 Hey! Jack, Janet, and Chrissy, can we speed this up, please?! 208 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,222 It's a Three's Company reference! 209 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,432 Those were the original character names on the show 210 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,768 before they changed Chrissy to Cindy! 211 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:20,978 Why the fuck am I yelling?! 212 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:22,938 Oh, oh, oh, oh, I know! Because there is 213 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,731 a murderous ghost on the loose! [thunder cracks] 214 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,733 [door clangs] [thunder rumbling] 215 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,237 [shivering, gasping] 216 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,656 [Oliver groaning] 217 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:34,658 [echoing door slam] 218 00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:37,578 - [quietly] It's dark in here. - [loudly] Except for the ghost light. 219 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:38,579 [shushing] 220 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,914 Whoever Howard saw might still be here. Keep it down. 221 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,292 [quietly] I'm sorry. I was saying the ghost light 222 00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,085 is an old theater tradition. 223 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,171 It has to stay on at all times, 224 00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:48,797 and it never ever goes out. 225 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,049 [light fizzles] [Howard gasps] 226 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,759 Nonbeliever says what? 227 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,012 That was kinda strange. 228 00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:57,890 No, no, KT probably did it. She must be here running cues. 229 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,935 Why don't you all go see if she's in the booth behind the balcony 230 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,897 and I'll look around the dressing rooms? Good? Good. 231 00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:07,399 No! We have to stick together. 232 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,401 That's right. First rule of every horror movie. 233 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,361 Never get separated. [Oliver grunts] 234 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:14,031 All this commotion can't be good for President McKinley. 235 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:17,743 - The fish is named President McKinley? - Why is he here with us again? 236 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:20,787 Imagine you're in a fish tank all day long, and you look out, 237 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,748 and you see two people walking by. 238 00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:25,709 And then one day, you only see one. 239 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,877 He could be traumatized. 240 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,879 [echoing thud] [Howard yelps, gasps] 241 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,340 That's exactly how Gideon died. 242 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:32,883 It is? 243 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,093 Could Gideon be out for me now? 244 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,095 Charles, do not make this all about you! 245 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,139 [rope whips, sandbag thuds] [all yelp] 246 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,142 Okay, maybe it is about you. 247 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,479 [rope creaking] 248 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,857 ♪ eerie crescendo ♪ 249 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,863 - [thunder rumbles] - Oh God, oh God, oh God. 250 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,784 Broom! I need that broom! 251 00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:01,537 Damn it, Howard, you made me fuck up my highlighting. 252 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:05,874 [shredder whirring] 253 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,751 KT, we may have an issue. 254 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,754 The issue is I was just nearly killed by two falling sandbags. 255 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,923 Ladies and gentlemen, stay calm. 256 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,925 I'm gonna need everyone to keep the stage clear 257 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,844 while I safety check the flies. 258 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,846 Now, who has small hands who can help me test the ropes? 259 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,932 Take Howard. He has hands like an American Girl doll. 260 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,226 - I do not. - Howard, go with KT. 261 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,769 Do literally whatever she says. 262 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:26,770 [Howard groans] 263 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,483 MABEL: Hey. 264 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,612 - Is this an attendance sheet? - Yeah, it's a sign-in sheet. 265 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,698 You sign in when you come in at half hour. 266 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,408 Handwriting samples from the whole cast. 267 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,285 We can use this to compare 268 00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,995 to the "fucking pig" on Ben's mirror. 269 00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,039 Oh, I don't know. I don't think that would be very helpful. 270 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,500 It's exactly the kind of thing that you would do. 271 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,961 I basically pulled it from the Oliver Putnam playbook. 272 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,547 Well, that playbook is mine to play with, 273 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,299 so gimme that. 274 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,594 Is he leaking? His water seems low. 275 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,889 I still don't understand why you brought him. 276 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,391 Oh. Well, 277 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,894 this is a little embarrassing to say, but... 278 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,897 this fish is all I have right now. 279 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,316 It's not like all of us have hot new boyfriends. 280 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,484 Tobert is not my boyfriend. 281 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,403 Oh, so you do pronounce the final T. 282 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,989 It's not like a French cheese. Tobere... 283 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:22,451 [French accent] Uh, garçon? S'il vous plait, I would like a le Tobere. 284 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,453 - Oh, oui, monsieur. Et votre-- - Okay! 285 00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:27,206 - I'm just gonna cut you off at the cheese. - Well... 286 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,292 did you record with him for our podcast? 287 00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,627 - No! - Well, 288 00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,170 you showed him our Murder Board. 289 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,548 And how about our red string? Did you let his handsome fingers 290 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,926 move our red string around? 291 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,719 - Charles. - Well, how can we trust you 292 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,179 with confidential case information 293 00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:44,890 when we know you might share it with a stranger at any moment? 294 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:47,893 How can you trust me? Wha-- I... 295 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,811 And he's not a stranger. 296 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,481 We just have to be careful who we get involved with. 297 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,692 Yeah, and I think I have a better track record with that than you. 298 00:12:56,235 --> 00:12:58,153 Tobert has done more for this case 299 00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:01,406 in the past two days than you have the past two weeks. 300 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,868 Okay, yeah. But I've been busy. 301 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:06,870 Yeah, but I... [sighs] 302 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,873 - Where the hell is Oliver? - You know, 303 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,792 President McKinley is definitely leaking. 304 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,335 I need to find something to put him in. 305 00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,462 I think there's a props closet down the hall. 306 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,839 Yeah, you go ahead and do that, 307 00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,091 Oliver can do whatever the hell he's doing, 308 00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:22,511 and I'll keep investigating, alone, as usual! 309 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:25,514 ♪ 310 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:28,934 Okay... 311 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,771 [sighs] 312 00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:40,863 I really don't see it. 313 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,616 How many ways are there to write an F anyway? 314 00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:46,952 [sighs] 315 00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:49,204 Son of a bitch. 316 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,415 [eerie thudding] 317 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,666 Guys? 318 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:56,920 Th-There's something here I think you should see. 319 00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:00,048 [thudding continues] 320 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,300 Hello? 321 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,510 Is someone there? 322 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,678 [lights buzzing] 323 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,306 I also know Krav Maga! 324 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:08,891 Hello? 325 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,434 ♪ 326 00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:12,436 I'm coming up, so... 327 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:13,854 [light buzzing] 328 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,355 I'm here. 329 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,025 So... 330 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,028 [grunting] 331 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,788 My God, this looks like the Phantom of the Opera's college dorm room. 332 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:34,958 [distant thudding] 333 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,586 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 334 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,714 You're right. I never should have brought you here. 335 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,133 [door opens] 336 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,429 Hello. Get you a little water. 337 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,848 No problem. Ooh. [faucet squeaks] 338 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:54,603 You're an indoor fish. You belong in a tank. 339 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,773 Water is water, right? 340 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,111 Hey, who loves you? Go ahead, stretch out. [laughs] 341 00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,905 I'll be back to get you when we're done. 342 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,907 [knob rattling, door banging] 343 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,201 [nervous laugh] Hello. 344 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:11,036 [banging door] Really? 345 00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,496 ♪ 346 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:15,082 Hello? Hello! [doorknob rattling] 347 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:18,043 No need to panic. 348 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,837 My friends will notice I'm gone, 349 00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:21,338 and they'll come back to get me. 350 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,927 [emphatically] I said don't panic! 351 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,220 ♪ 352 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,680 Ah! [muffled yell] 353 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,348 Ow! 354 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,684 Jesus Christ, you bit me. 355 00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:36,478 Yeah, well, that's just the tip of the incisor, you fucking... 356 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,397 [machinery humming] 357 00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:41,108 Jerry? Jerry Blau? 358 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,902 Oliver. Oh, thank God, a fellow director. 359 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,113 You shouldn't sneak up on people like that, Jerry! 360 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,657 I'm not a young man! You could've given me a heart attack! 361 00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:52,244 I'm sorry, Ollie. I thought you were someone coming to kick me out. 362 00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:53,745 What are you doing here? 363 00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:56,331 Donna fired you off this show a year ago. 364 00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:58,792 Are you living in here? 365 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,879 No. I mean, yes. I'm squatting. 366 00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:05,424 But there's a rich tradition of that in the theater, right? 367 00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:06,967 Right. 368 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,886 I did spend a complicated three months 369 00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:11,096 living in Maureen Stapleton's mud room. 370 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:14,266 But this is a different situation! You shouldn't be here, Jerry. 371 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:16,810 Just wait. I can explain. 372 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,270 Have a seat. 373 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,858 Can I interest you in a snack? 374 00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:24,443 No, I'm good. Thanks. 375 00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:27,362 It's so nice having company. 376 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,865 [fizzling, snapping] Oh! 377 00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:31,992 [light buzzing] 378 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,494 Charles? Oliver? 379 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,079 ♪ 380 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,582 [eerie thudding] [footsteps approach] 381 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,754 ♪ music swells ♪ 382 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,464 - Tobert? - Wow. Look, 383 00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:48,050 I know that you wanted to be with your guys, okay? 384 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,802 But I decided to tail Jonathan and he led me right here to the theater. 385 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,095 [door opens] Shh. 386 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,597 [door shuts] That's him. 387 00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:54,890 Alright, come on. Let's go. 388 00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:57,476 [clears throat] Maybe unhand me? 389 00:16:57,476 --> 00:16:59,228 - Oh! Yeah, sorry. - Thanks. 390 00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:01,688 Hey, I'm glad you came. 391 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,482 [light buzzing] 392 00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:05,317 [cables clanking] 393 00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:08,362 You don't like me, do you? KT: You're irrelevant to the show. 394 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,531 Therefore, you're irrelevant to me. 395 00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:12,991 Irrelevant? I have been protecting this show 396 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,410 from negative spirits since day one. 397 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,579 And if you hadn't locked your office on opening night, 398 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:21,083 I wouldn't have missed a day and Ben Glenroy might still be alive. 399 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,418 [sighs] First of all, my office door is never locked. 400 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,003 It was locked on opening night. 401 00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:28,423 Not by me it wasn't. And what negative spirits? 402 00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:31,301 Not Gideon. [rattling] 403 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,886 [whispers] You know about Gideon? 404 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:37,391 Fuck it, Howard, I've done 43 shows in this building! 405 00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:39,142 Of course, I know about Gideon! 406 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,644 Shh! 407 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,357 But do you know how dangerous he can be? 408 00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,026 I do. That's why I was sweeping. 409 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,319 [chuckles] 410 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:52,197 Fuckin' amateur hour. Sweeping does nothing. 411 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,283 - It doesn't? - Mm-mmm. 412 00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,079 This is the closest I've ever come to my dream job 413 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,497 and I fucked it up. 414 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,125 Your dream job was to be an assistant? 415 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:06,128 No, an actor. I always wanted to act. 416 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,255 But then, in junior high, 417 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,716 I got cast as John Proctor in The Crucible. 418 00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:11,717 KT: Mm. 419 00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:15,387 [spotlight clicks] It was thrilling at first. 420 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,932 Feeling the spotlight warm my face 421 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,935 the first time I delivered my big monologue. 422 00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:25,439 [spotlight clicks, powers down] 423 00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,524 But after the show, my mother told me 424 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:30,527 my stage voice was matronly and shrill. 425 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:34,031 She said she never wanted to hear me use that voice again in public. 426 00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:39,411 So I quit before I even began. 427 00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:42,497 Damn. 428 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,458 [inhales] 429 00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:47,461 I always wanted to be a director. [laughs] 430 00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:50,506 But that ship has sailed. 431 00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:52,424 Don't say that. 432 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:54,134 You're not Gideon. 433 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,553 You're not dead. Yet. 434 00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,806 [deep sigh] 435 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,184 You don't sweep Gideon away. 436 00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,728 You have to include him. Come on. 437 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:13,403 How long have I been abandoned? One hour? Five hours? 438 00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,656 Nice to know I'm missed, huh? 439 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,908 [sighs] You know what? 440 00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:20,953 Maybe you're right. 441 00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:23,539 If you piss off everyone in your tank, 442 00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:26,750 how can you blame them when you end up alone? [scoffs] 443 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:30,546 Wh-Why did I have to make fun of that guy's name? "Tobert." 444 00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,548 It's a perfectly good name! 445 00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:35,300 But we're gonna get through this, you and me. 446 00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,553 You don't mind if I relieve myself, do ya? 447 00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:39,471 [groans] I had two cups of coffee, 448 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:42,015 and who knows how long we're gonna be in here. 449 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:45,978 [urinating] [heavy breathing] 450 00:19:45,978 --> 00:19:48,814 - [sizzling] - After Donna fired me, 451 00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:51,149 Marshall and I had a dispute 452 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:54,403 about my ability to continue paying our mortgage 453 00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:57,865 and I was asked to vacate the premises. 454 00:19:57,865 --> 00:20:00,367 Luckily, this place is free, 455 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,662 as long as I don't get caught. Shh... 456 00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:05,789 So, you're the ghost? 457 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:09,751 Your manservant spotted me this morning. 458 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:13,714 I heard him ranting about Gideon Goosebury, 459 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:16,383 and I thought if I could pretend to be him, 460 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,178 offer a few frights, drop a few sandbags, 461 00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:21,054 it might scare you all off. 462 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,432 Long shot, I know, but... 463 00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:26,810 is there also any chance that you killed Ben Glenroy? 464 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:29,354 Really, Oliver? I'm offended. 465 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:32,733 I may have suffered a minor career setback 466 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:35,652 but I'm not a monster! 467 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,739 - [shoe thuds] - Ah! Oh my-- Is that a rat?! 468 00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,701 You came on a good night. 469 00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:45,204 I doubt I'll have a good night ever again. 470 00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:47,206 [sighs] 471 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,001 You okay, Ollie? 472 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:54,630 ♪ 473 00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:57,049 You know the first rule of theater? 474 00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:59,551 Don't feed Hugh Jackman after midnight. 475 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,803 - The other one. - Oh! 476 00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:04,556 You fell in love with one of your actors. 477 00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:05,682 Yes. 478 00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:08,602 - Lady with the braids? - Mm-hmm. 479 00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:12,898 Now you're worried because of her violent temper. 480 00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,818 What? Wh-What violent temper? 481 00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:19,321 Well, you know what happened backstage on opening night? 482 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,908 Oh! You don't know. 483 00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:27,037 Well [laughs] luckily, you're not the only director here. 484 00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:31,208 [sighs] Voilà. Puppets. 485 00:21:31,208 --> 00:21:32,501 Oh good lord. 486 00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:36,129 See? I keep busy. [laughs] 487 00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:38,173 [urinating] CHARLES: So then, I say to the guy, 488 00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:41,885 "Look, if you're so tough, then you ride the moped into the chimp enclosure." 489 00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:44,388 And he goes-- [laughs] he go... [flushes toilet] 490 00:21:46,557 --> 00:21:49,476 [wheezing] Mr. President! 491 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:55,023 ♪ suspenseful music playing ♪ 492 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:01,530 - TOBERT: Thank you. - Uh-- Give those back. 493 00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:05,033 - What's this? - Dr. Hiram Camareri. 494 00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:07,244 - Dr. C, I presume? - I don't know what you're talking about. 495 00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:10,330 Come on, Jonathan. You know we just saw you with Ben's doctor last night. 496 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,210 Alright. Fine. 497 00:22:16,962 --> 00:22:19,506 I've been really anxious 498 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,717 since taking over Ben's part. 499 00:22:21,717 --> 00:22:24,178 It's a lot of pressure being the lead. 500 00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:27,181 So I asked Dr. C for some help. He could get Ben anything he wanted. 501 00:22:27,181 --> 00:22:31,018 So he gave me the "leading man cocktail." 502 00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:34,605 It's a mix of beta blockers, Propecia, HGH, 503 00:22:34,605 --> 00:22:37,107 and just a dash of methamphetamine. 504 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,444 All the same things Ben was taking. 505 00:22:40,444 --> 00:22:43,197 So you didn't wanna be the lead. 506 00:22:43,197 --> 00:22:44,448 No. 507 00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:47,576 And please don't tell Howard. 508 00:22:47,576 --> 00:22:49,620 He wouldn't understand. 509 00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:51,163 It's his dream, 510 00:22:51,163 --> 00:22:54,249 but he has no idea what it's like 511 00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:57,753 to carry the weight of an entire show on your shoulders. 512 00:22:59,505 --> 00:23:02,090 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 513 00:23:06,011 --> 00:23:07,262 [Tobert sighs] 514 00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:15,354 [sobs] Everybody knows you don't take a fish in the theater, you idiot! 515 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:18,315 Oh jeez! 516 00:23:18,315 --> 00:23:19,816 [water bubbling] 517 00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:22,319 [light splashing] 518 00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:29,076 President McKinley! Oh! 519 00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:30,577 Ho! Ho! Ho! 520 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:34,122 I saved you from your second assassination attempt. 521 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,792 This is the universe telling us that no matter what kind of hardships, 522 00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:39,127 we-- Wait. Is that an intercom? 523 00:23:39,127 --> 00:23:41,129 Hello? This is Charles. [clicks, whirs] 524 00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:43,757 This-- I'm in the-- Can you hear me? I'm in the prop room! 525 00:23:43,757 --> 00:23:44,842 [hissing] 526 00:23:44,842 --> 00:23:46,093 Hey! 527 00:23:46,093 --> 00:23:49,096 ♪ 528 00:23:49,096 --> 00:23:50,597 [clicking] 529 00:23:54,351 --> 00:23:56,228 Ah! Ah! Ah-- 530 00:23:56,228 --> 00:23:58,981 [coughing] 531 00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:01,149 [laughing] 532 00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:03,485 Hey, w-we got a smoke issue! 533 00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:04,444 [buzzing] 534 00:24:06,405 --> 00:24:10,367 Now, at half hour on the night in question, 535 00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:14,955 I saw Braids Lady 536 00:24:14,955 --> 00:24:18,125 jawboning with Mr. Movie Star Man 537 00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:20,836 while they were rehearsing their big fight scene 538 00:24:20,836 --> 00:24:23,172 on the steps of the lighthouse. 539 00:24:23,839 --> 00:24:25,632 Something set her off. 540 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:28,010 Probably Movie Man taking the stage-choking 541 00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:29,803 a scooch too far. 542 00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:33,056 He gets rough, so she gets in his face 543 00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:35,809 and calls him, and I quote, 544 00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:39,438 a "Cocksucking ding-dong." 545 00:24:39,438 --> 00:24:40,856 That doesn't sound like her. 546 00:24:40,856 --> 00:24:44,693 I'm up in the rafters. I'm only getting every third word. 547 00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:48,030 It could have been "fucking pig." 548 00:24:48,572 --> 00:24:50,824 Anyway, now, 549 00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:52,993 the Albino Fella comes along. 550 00:24:52,993 --> 00:24:54,536 You mean Charles? 551 00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:57,247 The has-been with the hair, yeah. 552 00:24:57,247 --> 00:24:59,666 He comes right in the middle of all of this 553 00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,710 and clocks Mr. Movie Star 554 00:25:01,710 --> 00:25:04,379 right in the kisser. 555 00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:05,547 Blammo! 556 00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:07,674 Charles punched Ben? 557 00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:10,844 You didn't know any of this? 558 00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:14,556 ♪ 559 00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:16,308 Are you sure this'll work? 560 00:25:16,308 --> 00:25:18,894 It's worked 42 times before. 561 00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:22,356 And this is the actual monologue Gideon was giving the moment he died? 562 00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,734 Yep. Now, call him to the stage. 563 00:25:29,154 --> 00:25:30,239 Gideon, are you there? 564 00:25:30,239 --> 00:25:32,407 Oh, come on! Use your stage voice! 565 00:25:32,407 --> 00:25:34,910 [echoing]: Sing out, Louise! 566 00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:36,411 [sighs] 567 00:25:37,329 --> 00:25:40,791 - [yelling] Oh, Gideon. - [projecting] Your stage voice! 568 00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:42,668 [deep stage voice] Oh, Gideon! 569 00:25:42,668 --> 00:25:46,421 We come not to banish but to praise you! 570 00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:49,007 Join us so we may finish 571 00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:52,302 your great unfinished work! 572 00:25:52,302 --> 00:25:54,805 - Don't forget to direct me. [clears throat] - Oh. Okay. 573 00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:58,308 [Howard clears throat] 574 00:25:58,851 --> 00:26:01,937 "Oh, Irene, how could a poor sweep like me 575 00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:05,440 ever hope to win the love of a fine lady like yourself?" 576 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,818 - It's a strong start. - Thanks. 577 00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:10,696 [recording beep] CHARLES: If you are seeing this video, 578 00:26:10,696 --> 00:26:12,698 it means that I am dead. 579 00:26:12,698 --> 00:26:14,074 I perished alone 580 00:26:14,074 --> 00:26:17,077 with only a fish as my witness. 581 00:26:17,786 --> 00:26:19,746 Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Charles, 582 00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:21,665 why didn't you scream?" Well, I did! 583 00:26:21,665 --> 00:26:23,709 "Why didn't you call somebody on your phone?" 584 00:26:23,709 --> 00:26:26,628 Because I'm in a closet with no bars! 585 00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:29,298 "Why didn't you use your jimmy keys?" 586 00:26:29,298 --> 00:26:30,924 Jimmy keys? 587 00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:36,471 Hello, baby. 588 00:26:36,889 --> 00:26:38,891 What do we really know? [sizzling] 589 00:26:38,891 --> 00:26:40,726 Loretta hated Ben. 590 00:26:40,726 --> 00:26:42,352 She was violent towards Ben. 591 00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:44,605 She had a motive and opportunity to kill Ben. 592 00:26:44,605 --> 00:26:47,900 But, does that make her a murderer or just... 593 00:26:48,817 --> 00:26:49,943 quirky? 594 00:26:52,613 --> 00:26:54,823 God, I'm screwed, aren't I? 595 00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:59,244 Oliver, how far do you and I go back? 596 00:26:59,244 --> 00:27:01,747 All the way back to our original hairlines. 597 00:27:01,747 --> 00:27:06,585 All the way back to the dawn of off-off-off-Broadway. 598 00:27:06,585 --> 00:27:10,172 And back then, you told me the key to directing. 599 00:27:10,172 --> 00:27:11,673 Yes, I remember. 600 00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:13,926 - Remind me. - You said, 601 00:27:13,926 --> 00:27:17,012 "The only wrong choice is no choice. 602 00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:18,764 Indecision is death." 603 00:27:19,932 --> 00:27:23,101 I said that? Jesus, it's so bleak. 604 00:27:23,101 --> 00:27:25,270 You are not a young man, Oliver. 605 00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:27,606 You said so yourself. 606 00:27:27,606 --> 00:27:30,901 It's time to shit or get off the bucket. 607 00:27:30,901 --> 00:27:33,529 Choose what matters to you 608 00:27:33,529 --> 00:27:37,491 and then do whatever you have to do to get it. 609 00:27:38,242 --> 00:27:39,993 Or you'll end up like me. 610 00:27:39,993 --> 00:27:42,454 Neither behind the scene or on stage. 611 00:27:42,454 --> 00:27:44,706 More dead than alive. 612 00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:46,959 ♪ 613 00:27:46,959 --> 00:27:49,378 Thanks, Jer. I know what I have to do. 614 00:27:49,378 --> 00:27:52,047 Oliver, you won't tell anyone I'm here, right? 615 00:27:52,047 --> 00:27:54,049 I won't tell. But... 616 00:27:54,842 --> 00:27:56,969 you should really go home to Marshall. 617 00:27:56,969 --> 00:27:58,762 And eat his food? 618 00:28:00,389 --> 00:28:02,391 [Oliver sighs, grunts] 619 00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:06,186 - [door shuts] - So Ben was on all of those drugs. 620 00:28:06,186 --> 00:28:09,398 Well, when Jonathan said the cocktail had a dash of meth, 621 00:28:09,398 --> 00:28:11,358 why didn't that show up in his autopsy? 622 00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:14,069 - [loud bang] - Oh! Oh, thank God! 623 00:28:14,069 --> 00:28:15,362 [wheezes] 624 00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:16,864 MABEL: Charles?! 625 00:28:17,531 --> 00:28:19,074 - Mother? - Charles! 626 00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:21,368 Oh! Mabel! I was trapped. 627 00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:24,288 Years went by! Do I have a beard? Is SNL still on? 628 00:28:24,663 --> 00:28:26,748 You were gone for 20 minutes. 629 00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:29,334 Oh, well, I-I'm parched and I'm weak. 630 00:28:29,334 --> 00:28:31,503 You know what, let me see if I can find you some electrolytes. 631 00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:33,881 Thank you! Finally, someone's thinking about me! 632 00:28:33,881 --> 00:28:36,049 Thank you, Tobert! 633 00:28:36,049 --> 00:28:38,719 Did you ask him to come down here? Are we partnering with him now? 634 00:28:38,719 --> 00:28:41,471 [sighs] He came here on his own to follow a lead, 635 00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:44,474 like investigators do in an investigation. 636 00:28:44,474 --> 00:28:47,436 Oh, I'm sorry, but who left who to die in a fog closet? 637 00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:48,729 Who left... 638 00:28:48,729 --> 00:28:52,065 I swear, you and Oliver are working my last nerve today. 639 00:28:52,065 --> 00:28:54,735 Really? Where is Oliver? 640 00:28:55,485 --> 00:28:56,486 Hey! 641 00:28:56,486 --> 00:28:58,864 ♪ intense music playing ♪ 642 00:28:58,864 --> 00:29:01,658 "When I think of you giving your heart to another, 643 00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:04,578 I die a thousand deaths." 644 00:29:04,578 --> 00:29:07,831 - Bigger! - [bigger] "A thousand deaths!" 645 00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:09,625 Yes, it's working! Okay, pace it up! 646 00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:12,085 [rapidly] "I'll never rest until we're together as we were meant to be." 647 00:29:12,085 --> 00:29:13,962 Yes! Feel him inside you! [buzzing] 648 00:29:13,962 --> 00:29:16,673 [echoing] Gideon! 649 00:29:16,673 --> 00:29:19,301 Gideon is with us! [laughs] 650 00:29:20,844 --> 00:29:22,971 Oliver, stop! What are you doing?! 651 00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:24,932 - I'm making a choice. - That's evidence! 652 00:29:24,932 --> 00:29:28,602 This isn't a crime scene anymore, Mabel. The police got their guy. 653 00:29:28,602 --> 00:29:29,895 It's a dressing room. 654 00:29:29,895 --> 00:29:32,564 And since we're coming in here tomorrow for rehearsal, it needs to be cleaned. 655 00:29:32,564 --> 00:29:34,066 Oliver, you're crossing a line. 656 00:29:34,066 --> 00:29:35,817 Oh, I'm crossing a line? 657 00:29:36,568 --> 00:29:39,196 This from the guy who punched Ben Glenroy on the night of the murder 658 00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:41,573 and conveniently forgot to tell us about it. 659 00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:43,242 You what? You punched Ben? 660 00:29:43,242 --> 00:29:45,619 Because he attacked Loretta and I told him to stay away from her. 661 00:29:45,619 --> 00:29:46,995 But the real question is, 662 00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:49,164 why is your production so out of control 663 00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:51,750 that your actors are beating each other up on opening night? 664 00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:53,377 Oh, this is my fault, is it? 665 00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:56,380 Well, you're the director. Someone has to be responsible for the fact 666 00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:57,840 that your show is a death trap. 667 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,092 Today alone, I almost died three times. 668 00:30:01,927 --> 00:30:04,930 - What? - Two sandbags and a killer fog. 669 00:30:04,930 --> 00:30:07,057 Well, I'm so, so sorry for trying to breathe life 670 00:30:07,057 --> 00:30:09,768 into your dead career by putting you on Broadway. 671 00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:12,437 My career was not dead. 672 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:15,649 Did you know that Brazzos wanted to do burrito-sodes? 673 00:30:17,359 --> 00:30:19,945 Thirty-second bonus episodes available exclusively 674 00:30:19,945 --> 00:30:23,156 on the Chipotle app but I said no because I wanted to do this 675 00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:25,534 which I realize now was a huge mistake! 676 00:30:25,534 --> 00:30:27,202 Oh, it was, huh? Well maybe, 677 00:30:27,202 --> 00:30:30,038 I should have hired someone who could actually sing! 678 00:30:30,038 --> 00:30:33,250 Well, maybe you should have because I quit. 679 00:30:33,250 --> 00:30:34,501 - Fine! - Fine! 680 00:30:34,501 --> 00:30:35,544 MABEL: Charles! 681 00:30:36,170 --> 00:30:38,755 Why didn't you tell me what happened with Ben on opening night? 682 00:30:38,755 --> 00:30:41,967 Because she was his girlfriend and I was trying to protect him 683 00:30:41,967 --> 00:30:44,136 [stammering] 'cause he's my buddy! 684 00:30:45,053 --> 00:30:46,680 Was. MABEL: Wait, 685 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,725 Loretta's a part of this, too? What else is she keeping from us? 686 00:30:49,725 --> 00:30:53,145 I don't know and, frankly, I don't care. 687 00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:55,230 Oliver, what the fuck are you doing?! 688 00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:57,941 You know, you are like a dog with a bone, Mabel. 689 00:30:57,941 --> 00:31:00,944 They arrested someone for Ben's murder, remember? 690 00:31:00,944 --> 00:31:04,239 And yet, you keep trying to throw suspicion onto my cast. 691 00:31:04,239 --> 00:31:06,491 You know, I know you've never had a grownup job before 692 00:31:06,491 --> 00:31:08,619 but guess what? They matter. 693 00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:11,788 - Wow. - Oliver. 694 00:31:11,788 --> 00:31:14,124 In a few weeks, Loretta goes on to star 695 00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:16,752 in Death Rattle Dazzle, and I finally get 696 00:31:16,752 --> 00:31:18,629 what I've been working for my whole life. 697 00:31:18,629 --> 00:31:20,506 I won't let you jeopardize that! 698 00:31:21,381 --> 00:31:22,591 Cinda was right. 699 00:31:22,591 --> 00:31:24,343 - What does that mean? - Cinda Canning? 700 00:31:24,343 --> 00:31:27,763 Cinda fucking Canning asked me to partner with her 701 00:31:27,763 --> 00:31:30,599 and I said that I was already part of a team. 702 00:31:30,599 --> 00:31:32,518 She said that I don't need you guys 703 00:31:32,518 --> 00:31:35,145 and I'm starting to see that she's right. 704 00:31:35,145 --> 00:31:39,316 All I do is put up with your self-involved insanity! 705 00:31:39,316 --> 00:31:42,611 The musical, the White Room, the proposal, 706 00:31:42,611 --> 00:31:45,155 but a man is dead! 707 00:31:45,155 --> 00:31:48,075 A man who actually meant something to me! 708 00:31:48,075 --> 00:31:49,785 And I'm gonna figure out who did it 709 00:31:49,785 --> 00:31:53,205 whether the two of you give a shit or not! I'm done! 710 00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:56,208 ♪ melancholy music playing ♪ 711 00:32:00,379 --> 00:32:01,380 [sighs] 712 00:32:03,340 --> 00:32:04,883 HOWARD: Sometimes, 713 00:32:04,883 --> 00:32:07,386 all you need to banish your ghosts... 714 00:32:07,386 --> 00:32:09,096 [wind blowing] 715 00:32:09,096 --> 00:32:10,681 is for someone to see you... 716 00:32:10,681 --> 00:32:12,975 Bravo! 717 00:32:12,975 --> 00:32:15,435 [birds chirping] 718 00:32:17,437 --> 00:32:20,023 HOWARD: ...and understand your dreams. 719 00:32:29,575 --> 00:32:32,578 [aquarium bubbling] 720 00:32:35,998 --> 00:32:38,000 It's only when you're alone... 721 00:32:42,004 --> 00:32:44,006 that the real haunting begins. 722 00:32:50,512 --> 00:32:52,514 [sizzling] 723 00:32:53,849 --> 00:32:55,142 [curtains slide] 724 00:32:57,019 --> 00:33:00,022 ♪ 51076

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.