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1
00:00:03,765 --> 00:00:05,957
So you need a divorce attorney?
2
00:00:06,052 --> 00:00:08,263
Tell me, who is the
soon-to-be lucky guy?
3
00:00:08,264 --> 00:00:10,685
Okay, Cliff, for your Infowars,
4
00:00:10,686 --> 00:00:12,814
his name is Ben, and he's Jewish.
5
00:00:12,815 --> 00:00:14,442
So you're gonna have
to bring your A game.
6
00:00:14,443 --> 00:00:16,071
Okay, well, why would you want me
7
00:00:16,072 --> 00:00:17,991
to represent you?
I actively dislike you.
8
00:00:17,992 --> 00:00:19,995
All my girlfriends think
that you made me hate women,
9
00:00:19,996 --> 00:00:21,498
which is completely ridiculous.
10
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,460
My mom made me hate women.
11
00:00:23,461 --> 00:00:25,632
Well, you know, I just saw
your ad in the subway,
12
00:00:25,633 --> 00:00:27,761
and you just looked
so hot and competent.
13
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:29,347
Yeah, people keep saying that.
14
00:00:29,348 --> 00:00:31,184
I was worried it was a little corny.
15
00:00:31,185 --> 00:00:33,648
Oh, no, I love it.
You should wear that monocle.
16
00:00:33,649 --> 00:00:35,317
Well, look, he's gonna
want to destroy you.
17
00:00:35,318 --> 00:00:36,988
Trust me, I dated you
for a couple months,
18
00:00:36,989 --> 00:00:39,242
- and I wanted to destroy you.
- That is unfair.
19
00:00:39,243 --> 00:00:41,914
I've seen you through your
darkest family tragedies.
20
00:00:41,915 --> 00:00:44,920
You burned down the church
at my grandmother's funeral.
21
00:00:44,921 --> 00:00:47,049
Yeah, a fire which revealed
the chilling remains
22
00:00:47,050 --> 00:00:49,847
of a murdered nun.
You're welcome "Dateline."
23
00:00:49,848 --> 00:00:51,684
No, this is gonna get ugly,
so don't talk to Ben directly.
24
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,270
You're only gonna fight.
25
00:00:53,271 --> 00:00:54,732
Do everything through your attorneys.
26
00:00:54,733 --> 00:00:55,942
Fight? What am I gonna fight over,
27
00:00:55,943 --> 00:00:57,320
half his "Star Wars" collection?
28
00:00:57,345 --> 00:01:00,767
The only good one of those
movies was "Spaceballs."
29
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,125
[theme music]
30
00:01:04,126 --> 00:01:07,597
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
31
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,664
Now, before we finish this meeting,
32
00:01:09,689 --> 00:01:11,765
I would like all of us
to send a lot of love
33
00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:14,959
to a woman whose heart
battered and cracked
34
00:01:15,023 --> 00:01:16,901
like an old baseball glove.
35
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:18,403
Okay, that's enough.
36
00:01:18,404 --> 00:01:21,284
Yes, I am divorcing Ben, but it's fine.
37
00:01:21,285 --> 00:01:22,996
We weren't even that married.
38
00:01:22,997 --> 00:01:24,833
I barely had time to let myself go.
39
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:26,837
Is divorce necessary?
40
00:01:26,838 --> 00:01:29,175
What if I find Ben a mistress
or prescribe you some opium?
41
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,221
No, stop. Hey, look at me.
42
00:01:31,222 --> 00:01:33,685
You let me know when you're
your old self again, okay?
43
00:01:33,686 --> 00:01:35,730
'Cause I want to hook up Ben
with some girls.
44
00:01:35,731 --> 00:01:37,693
No, no, no, listen.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
45
00:01:37,694 --> 00:01:39,362
The baker didn't want to make this,
46
00:01:39,363 --> 00:01:40,949
'cause it's so depressing.
47
00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:43,245
Guys, I'm fine. I have a great job,
48
00:01:43,246 --> 00:01:44,873
I have a great kid,
I have great friends.
49
00:01:44,874 --> 00:01:46,292
Yeah, but you don't have a husband,
50
00:01:46,293 --> 00:01:47,546
and that's all you ever wanted.
51
00:01:47,547 --> 00:01:49,800
I'm so sorry, Dr. L.
52
00:01:49,801 --> 00:01:52,138
You know you can join our team anytime.
53
00:01:52,139 --> 00:01:54,225
I don't have to be gay yet.
54
00:01:54,226 --> 00:01:56,020
Okay, I'm going. I'm taking the cake,
55
00:01:56,021 --> 00:01:57,398
and I'm not sharing it with any of you.
56
00:01:57,399 --> 00:01:58,693
- Oh, that's...
- Oh, come on!
57
00:01:58,694 --> 00:02:01,030
Tam, what's the deal?
58
00:02:01,031 --> 00:02:02,784
You haven't spoken to me in weeks,
59
00:02:02,785 --> 00:02:04,370
and I think it has something to do
60
00:02:04,371 --> 00:02:05,874
with our steamy night of erotic play.
61
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,544
It was only steamy because your dogs
62
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,046
were breathing all over us.
63
00:02:09,047 --> 00:02:10,758
I'm sorry, but it was a mistake.
64
00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:12,721
No, no, a mistake
is when I cut my scrubs
65
00:02:12,722 --> 00:02:15,309
into capri pants.
What we did is beautiful.
66
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:17,104
Look, no, I was full of hormones
67
00:02:17,105 --> 00:02:19,317
from fertility injections,
and I was emotional.
68
00:02:19,318 --> 00:02:21,196
- It can't happen again.
- Listen...
69
00:02:21,197 --> 00:02:22,699
[door rattling]
70
00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:24,578
Hey, did you guys lock the door?
71
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,498
It's Colette! Come on!
72
00:02:26,499 --> 00:02:29,713
Hey, don't make me
Kool-Aid Man this bitch.
73
00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:32,426
How are things in the romance
department, Jeremy?
74
00:02:32,427 --> 00:02:34,598
So recently I bedded a docent
75
00:02:34,599 --> 00:02:36,852
in the Georgian room at the Met.
76
00:02:36,853 --> 00:02:38,981
Now, the bed was neoclassical,
77
00:02:38,982 --> 00:02:42,279
but the sex, ooh, quite rococo.
78
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,367
Uh...
79
00:02:44,368 --> 00:02:46,956
Sorry, I just came in here
80
00:02:46,957 --> 00:02:48,709
to grab a new hand sanitizer.
81
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,089
Someone touched mine.
82
00:02:51,090 --> 00:02:53,385
Well, that was more awkward
than when we ran into
83
00:02:53,386 --> 00:02:55,013
Daddy's Hispanic family at dinner.
84
00:02:55,014 --> 00:02:57,351
Nice folks, the Kimball-Rubios.
85
00:02:57,352 --> 00:02:59,063
But I feel bad.
86
00:02:59,064 --> 00:03:01,025
Anna came over to
the apartment a few weeks ago.
87
00:03:01,026 --> 00:03:02,821
I think to try and get back together,
88
00:03:02,822 --> 00:03:05,242
but, well, I was "entertaining."
89
00:03:05,243 --> 00:03:08,373
Anna wants to get back
together, and you told her no?
90
00:03:08,374 --> 00:03:10,460
So now you're just spitting
in the face of the universe?
91
00:03:10,461 --> 00:03:12,423
You told me I should use
the breakup as an opportunity
92
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:13,885
to level-up to hotter women.
93
00:03:13,886 --> 00:03:15,680
That was the gin talking.
94
00:03:15,681 --> 00:03:17,601
Of course you should
get back together with Anna.
95
00:03:17,602 --> 00:03:20,523
That's the bourbon talking.
Always trust the bourbon.
96
00:03:20,524 --> 00:03:22,151
Anna wants to have
more experiences dating,
97
00:03:22,152 --> 00:03:23,988
and I think she has a point.
98
00:03:23,989 --> 00:03:26,367
Well, there's your mistake.
Women don't have points.
99
00:03:26,368 --> 00:03:29,332
They have well-informed hysteria.
100
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,212
Now let's see what
Mr. Jose Cuervo has to say.
101
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:34,300
Dr. L! Dr. L!
102
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,845
Karen, knock much?
103
00:03:35,846 --> 00:03:37,641
I thought I heard a bear in here.
104
00:03:37,642 --> 00:03:39,770
Uh, does it look like
there's a bear in here?
105
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:42,316
Just a beautiful, feminine woman
eating an enormous cake.
106
00:03:42,317 --> 00:03:45,280
Well, there's some weird guy
out there asking for you.
107
00:03:45,281 --> 00:03:48,328
He's wearing cargo shorts
with a beer in each pocket.
108
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,413
Wassup?
109
00:03:49,414 --> 00:03:51,459
Ahh! Peter!
110
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:53,296
This is so great. Hi!
111
00:03:53,297 --> 00:03:55,635
- Hey. How you doing?
- What are you doing here?
112
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,056
Well, Lauren got a new job
as the head of neurosurgery
113
00:03:58,057 --> 00:04:01,605
at Lenox Hill, so we're
living back in New York, baby!
114
00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:02,899
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
115
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,861
Peter, I have missed you so much.
116
00:04:04,862 --> 00:04:06,907
Can my whole family crash
with you for a little bit?
117
00:04:06,908 --> 00:04:08,744
You see, we bought a condo
at Trump Tower,
118
00:04:08,745 --> 00:04:10,205
but we don't speak Russian,
119
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,750
so it's really hard to make friends.
120
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,336
Of course you can stay with me.
121
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,048
Lucky for you, my marriage
just fell apart.
122
00:04:15,049 --> 00:04:17,512
I heard about that,
and I want to tell you,
123
00:04:17,513 --> 00:04:19,725
that dude, Ben, I never trusted him.
124
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,229
I mean, who doesn't drink beer
when they're on antibiotics?
125
00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:24,108
You know what, everyone is
making a big deal about it,
126
00:04:24,109 --> 00:04:25,945
but my marriage was
just not meant to be.
127
00:04:25,946 --> 00:04:27,489
I'm doing fine.
128
00:04:27,490 --> 00:04:29,953
Mindy, no, you're not. I can see.
129
00:04:29,954 --> 00:04:32,416
You let your moustache
grow in from the sides.
130
00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:35,047
There's some of that cake that
hasn't been demolished yet.
131
00:04:35,048 --> 00:04:37,802
Something's not right,
and I am gonna make it better.
132
00:04:37,803 --> 00:04:40,099
Peter's back in New York!
133
00:04:43,147 --> 00:04:45,735
Guys, it's great to see you,
but you disgust me.
134
00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:48,448
No one is gonna throw Mindy
a party to cheer her up?
135
00:04:48,449 --> 00:04:50,368
They made me the office party planner
136
00:04:50,369 --> 00:04:53,584
because I'm gay, but I'm
the wrong kind of gay for that.
137
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:56,297
Well, I say we throw her
a karaoke party.
138
00:04:56,298 --> 00:04:57,884
Oh, yes, oh, my God.
139
00:04:57,885 --> 00:04:59,971
I call "O Holy Night of Bethlehem."
140
00:04:59,972 --> 00:05:02,017
It's yours. We're gonna do it
141
00:05:02,018 --> 00:05:04,188
at this great place I found in Koreatown
142
00:05:04,189 --> 00:05:07,194
when I was chased out of
a massage parlor for my demands
143
00:05:07,195 --> 00:05:09,323
and I ran into a karaoke bar.
144
00:05:09,324 --> 00:05:11,077
- What?
- Who are you again?
145
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,206
You have the entitlement
of a guy who works here
146
00:05:13,207 --> 00:05:15,795
but the demeanor of a guy who
gets injured in a viral video.
147
00:05:15,796 --> 00:05:19,218
Thank you. And may I just say... shwing!
148
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,055
- Yeah.
- What is that?
149
00:05:21,056 --> 00:05:23,101
I'm Peter Prentice.
I used to be a doctor here.
150
00:05:23,102 --> 00:05:25,063
I didn't even work with Peter
and I love him.
151
00:05:25,064 --> 00:05:26,817
I think he might be my favorite Jew,
152
00:05:26,818 --> 00:05:28,403
'cause he doesn't rub your face in it.
153
00:05:28,404 --> 00:05:29,906
He doesn't take half of September off
154
00:05:29,907 --> 00:05:32,244
- for Rosh this or Yom that.
- Stop.
155
00:05:32,245 --> 00:05:34,081
Wait, so you moved back here,
156
00:05:34,082 --> 00:05:35,501
but you don't currently have a practice?
157
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,962
Mm-hmm, I was doing the whole
158
00:05:36,963 --> 00:05:38,591
stay-at-home-day thing for a bit,
159
00:05:38,592 --> 00:05:41,137
but you know what,
I want to buy my own weed
160
00:05:41,138 --> 00:05:44,268
and my own sneakers, like a real man.
161
00:05:44,269 --> 00:05:46,940
Hey, that's my sandwich.
162
00:05:46,941 --> 00:05:50,322
No, it's not. This is Karen's.
163
00:05:50,323 --> 00:05:54,122
- I'm Karen.
- Then this is your sandwich.
164
00:05:54,582 --> 00:05:55,958
MINDY: Thanks for treating us
to such a fancy dinner,
165
00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:57,377
Mom and Dad.
166
00:05:57,378 --> 00:05:59,256
We had to pick a nice restaurant,
167
00:05:59,257 --> 00:06:01,427
because we have so much to celebrate.
168
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,517
Oh, you must mean
my newly found independence,
169
00:06:04,518 --> 00:06:06,521
and it's so nice that
you called it a celebration.
170
00:06:06,522 --> 00:06:09,193
- It's very modern of you.
- No, dingus.
171
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:12,825
We're here so you can meet
my girlfriend, Parvati.
172
00:06:12,826 --> 00:06:14,453
I'm sorry. You're his girlfriend?
173
00:06:14,454 --> 00:06:15,957
I thought you were some random cousin
174
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,627
from the Pittsburgh light-skins.
175
00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:20,048
Nah. Parvati and I met when we were sat
176
00:06:20,049 --> 00:06:22,052
next to each other at a wedding table,
177
00:06:22,053 --> 00:06:23,471
and I was hella charming,
178
00:06:23,472 --> 00:06:25,267
'cause my edible hadn't kicked in.
179
00:06:25,268 --> 00:06:27,396
And we've been serious
for, like, a year.
180
00:06:27,397 --> 00:06:29,233
Well, Parvati, what do you do?
181
00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:32,447
I'm a pediatric oncologist
at Columbia Presbyterian.
182
00:06:32,448 --> 00:06:34,995
- Damn.
- She's changed my life, okay?
183
00:06:34,996 --> 00:06:38,126
As a matter of fact... waiter.
184
00:06:38,127 --> 00:06:40,255
I think it's time for dessert.
185
00:06:40,256 --> 00:06:43,512
Parvati, this last year has been
the greatest year of my life,
186
00:06:43,513 --> 00:06:46,434
and I just want you to know
that no matter what happens,
187
00:06:46,435 --> 00:06:49,315
I will always... nah! No, Mindy!
188
00:06:49,316 --> 00:06:51,945
- The ring is in there!
- [gasps]
189
00:06:51,946 --> 00:06:54,784
Okay, I definitely swallowed it.
190
00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:56,412
- No!
- Ahh!
191
00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:58,526
But I could tell
that it was big and nice.
192
00:06:58,551 --> 00:06:59,762
Yeah.
193
00:07:03,207 --> 00:07:05,658
Rishi, I can't give you
the ring right now.
194
00:07:05,683 --> 00:07:08,061
All right, tell Parvati
I'll give it to her tomorrow.
195
00:07:08,062 --> 00:07:10,566
11:00 A. M. on the dot.
I am very regular.
196
00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:12,235
It's cool. I told her
how much the ring cost,
197
00:07:12,236 --> 00:07:14,031
and that's all that really matters.
198
00:07:14,032 --> 00:07:15,659
She posted a picture
of the receipt on Instagram.
199
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,997
I'm really happy for you, Rishi.
200
00:07:17,998 --> 00:07:20,043
God, what a reversal of fortune, huh?
201
00:07:20,044 --> 00:07:22,924
I know. It's almost like
we switched places.
202
00:07:22,925 --> 00:07:26,055
You know, you're struggling;
I'm succeeding.
203
00:07:26,056 --> 00:07:28,267
You're getting a divorce;
I'm getting married.
204
00:07:28,268 --> 00:07:31,107
I even grew an inch last month;
you seem to be shrinking.
205
00:07:31,108 --> 00:07:34,029
So, uh... I mean,
you're doing great too.
206
00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:35,449
MINDY: Okay, bye.
207
00:07:37,538 --> 00:07:41,085
[knocking]
208
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,505
- Hey!
- Hi!
209
00:07:42,506 --> 00:07:43,799
How's it going? Hi, Henry.
210
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,719
Come on in. Good to see you.
211
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,182
- Make yourself at home.
- Hi. Thank you.
212
00:07:48,183 --> 00:07:50,563
Wow, Lauren.
213
00:07:50,564 --> 00:07:53,276
Uh, first of all, it's great to see you.
214
00:07:53,277 --> 00:07:56,616
Second of all, so I guess
you got a perm, huh?
215
00:07:56,617 --> 00:07:58,579
I know, it looks bad.
216
00:07:58,580 --> 00:08:00,875
It looked much better in Texas
where there's no humidity.
217
00:08:00,876 --> 00:08:03,379
- Eh.
- Look, I am so sorry
218
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:06,218
that my apartment is not as
palatial as your Texas mansion.
219
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,014
But I will say this.
220
00:08:08,015 --> 00:08:09,517
The rats are starting
to eat the cockroaches,
221
00:08:09,518 --> 00:08:11,228
so we barely have any cockroaches.
222
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:12,940
Well, don't even worry about us.
223
00:08:12,941 --> 00:08:14,569
We will not in this apartment
that much at all.
224
00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,405
Besides, we have your karaoke party.
225
00:08:16,406 --> 00:08:18,409
Karaoke? Peter, just remember
226
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:19,871
not to say the N word this time.
227
00:08:19,872 --> 00:08:21,625
It was in the lyrics.
228
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,503
You were singing "Sweet Caroline."
229
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,674
You know, I told you,
I don't need this karaoke party.
230
00:08:25,675 --> 00:08:27,637
My parents tried to cheer me up.
It completely backfired.
231
00:08:27,638 --> 00:08:29,641
Mindy, everybody already RSVP'd.
232
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:31,310
Jeremy, Jodi, Anna.
233
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:33,147
Who's this Anna you keep talking about?
234
00:08:33,148 --> 00:08:34,817
There was never an Anna before.
235
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,403
Now all of a sudden everyone's all like,
236
00:08:36,404 --> 00:08:38,074
"Anna, Anna, Anna."
237
00:08:38,075 --> 00:08:41,080
Oh, Anna's so cool.
238
00:08:41,081 --> 00:08:42,667
This is her.
239
00:08:42,668 --> 00:08:44,921
Yeah, I actually
stole this from her house,
240
00:08:44,922 --> 00:08:46,716
and I was gonna take her photo out,
241
00:08:46,717 --> 00:08:48,512
but she's so pretty,
I thought I'd leave it in.
242
00:08:48,513 --> 00:08:50,390
She's not that pretty.
243
00:08:50,391 --> 00:08:52,562
I mean, her hair is straight,
if that's your thing.
244
00:08:52,563 --> 00:08:54,189
Honestly, straight, curly,
it wouldn't matter
245
00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:56,068
when it's framing
a perfect face like that.
246
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:59,199
She's pretty, like, if
you think Kate Upton's pretty.
247
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,538
- Yeah, I think everybody does.
- You know what, guys?
248
00:09:01,539 --> 00:09:03,542
I think I will go to karaoke with you,
249
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,838
and maybe I'll debut a new song.
250
00:09:05,839 --> 00:09:07,633
It will likely have the N word in it.
251
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,386
Mm-mm.
252
00:09:09,387 --> 00:09:10,639
Colette: Do you know
what's wrong with Morgan?
253
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,852
He's been acting so sad.
254
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,189
I don't know. Why you asking me?
255
00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:17,903
Do I look guilty? 'Cause I'm not.
256
00:09:17,904 --> 00:09:19,866
Hey, there are my girls.
257
00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:21,703
Yeah, I don't really know you like that.
258
00:09:21,704 --> 00:09:23,790
My brother and I replaced you
when you left.
259
00:09:23,791 --> 00:09:26,128
I know you, but I don't
think we ever spoke.
260
00:09:26,129 --> 00:09:28,382
Okay. Where's Mindy?
261
00:09:28,383 --> 00:09:30,428
Last time I saw her,
she was in the bathroom.
262
00:09:30,429 --> 00:09:32,349
She put a colander in the toilet
263
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:34,646
and is trying to pass a diamond ring.
264
00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:36,524
It is not going well.
265
00:09:36,525 --> 00:09:38,987
Man, that's such a bummer.
I really wanted to work
266
00:09:38,988 --> 00:09:41,075
on my karaoke set list
with her at lunch.
267
00:09:41,076 --> 00:09:44,039
Don't be intimidated, but in my frat
268
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,377
I was in a singing group
called Cockapella.
269
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,965
Peter. Would you like
to have lunch with me?
270
00:09:48,966 --> 00:09:50,385
I've been meaning to talk to you.
271
00:09:50,386 --> 00:09:51,763
You want to have lunch with me?
272
00:09:51,764 --> 00:09:53,265
- Yes.
- Okay.
273
00:09:53,266 --> 00:09:54,769
I'll have lunch with you, but
274
00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:56,982
I have no money, so you'll have to pay.
275
00:10:00,949 --> 00:10:03,411
Anna. Anna Bo-banna.
276
00:10:03,412 --> 00:10:05,624
[sing-song] Makin' copies.
277
00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:07,920
No, I hate that. Please put that back.
278
00:10:07,921 --> 00:10:09,716
Thank you.
279
00:10:09,717 --> 00:10:11,553
Peter, I asked you in here
for professional reasons.
280
00:10:11,554 --> 00:10:13,682
Professional? You need a pap smear?
281
00:10:13,683 --> 00:10:14,851
You came to the right guy.
282
00:10:14,852 --> 00:10:16,311
When I was Mindy's OBGYN,
283
00:10:16,312 --> 00:10:18,357
she used to call me Pappa Smurf.
284
00:10:18,358 --> 00:10:20,361
I'm very happy to say I don't
understand what that means.
285
00:10:20,362 --> 00:10:22,867
Peter, I would like to offer you a job.
286
00:10:22,868 --> 00:10:24,954
- My job.
- Why, are you leaving?
287
00:10:24,955 --> 00:10:28,712
Jeremy has rebuffed my advances,
288
00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:32,051
and it's just too difficult
to face him every day.
289
00:10:32,052 --> 00:10:35,099
Jerem... I'm sorry.
290
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,353
Jeremy turned you down?
291
00:10:37,354 --> 00:10:38,815
What, are you some kinda weirdo?
292
00:10:38,816 --> 00:10:40,652
No, I'm within the range of normal.
293
00:10:40,653 --> 00:10:42,405
I'd be happy to show you my brain scans.
294
00:10:42,406 --> 00:10:43,909
So what do you say?
295
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,579
Will you take my spot at Shulman?
296
00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:49,837
I don't know. Let me think about it.
297
00:10:49,838 --> 00:10:53,344
Let me smoke about it.
And let me stroke about it.
298
00:10:53,345 --> 00:10:55,432
Please leave.
299
00:10:57,186 --> 00:10:59,982
Oh, Morgan, there is a ring in here.
300
00:10:59,983 --> 00:11:01,569
I need you to go to Brooklyn
and give it to my brother.
301
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:03,615
Ooh, I would love to.
302
00:11:03,616 --> 00:11:05,869
Afterwards, I would like you
to go to my apartment
303
00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:08,040
and pick out a cute outfit
for karaoke tonight.
304
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,836
Oh yeah, I'll pull some new
looks for the fitting.
305
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,548
- Thank you.
- Hey, I gotta say something.
306
00:11:11,549 --> 00:11:13,467
I'm loving the new attitude, Dr. L.
307
00:11:13,468 --> 00:11:15,388
You know, Morgan,
I was thinking about it,
308
00:11:15,389 --> 00:11:16,933
and I have a lot to be thankful for.
309
00:11:16,934 --> 00:11:18,812
I got a great job, I got a great son,
310
00:11:18,813 --> 00:11:21,316
and "Will & Grace" is back
and bitchier than ever.
311
00:11:21,317 --> 00:11:23,028
- Life is good.
- Damn straight.
312
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,574
These are the best years of your life.
313
00:11:24,575 --> 00:11:26,159
- Right?
- Oh, oh!
314
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,705
And Cliff, the divorce lawyer, called.
315
00:11:27,706 --> 00:11:29,835
Ben wants half of all your money.
316
00:11:34,511 --> 00:11:36,471
- Hello, Peter.
- Hey, there he is.
317
00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:38,560
I am so excited for tonight.
318
00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:41,189
I don't want to ruin things,
but we may be getting a visit
319
00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:43,570
from Peter, Paul and Jeremy.
320
00:11:43,571 --> 00:11:45,616
What the hell is wrong with you?
321
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,493
Well, how much time do you have?
322
00:11:47,494 --> 00:11:49,832
Weak pelvis, soft ankles.
323
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,794
No, you have this girl,
Anna, who works in this office,
324
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,380
who is so cute.
325
00:11:53,381 --> 00:11:55,677
She's a living, life-size Bratz doll,
326
00:11:55,678 --> 00:11:59,644
and she's into you,
who is a grade-A Jeremy.
327
00:11:59,645 --> 00:12:02,858
Listen, I admit I might have
been a bit of a tit in the past,
328
00:12:02,859 --> 00:12:05,029
but things have changed. I'm cool now.
329
00:12:05,030 --> 00:12:08,118
Look, you're a weird guy,
as you've just proved
330
00:12:08,119 --> 00:12:10,331
by referring to yourself as a tit.
331
00:12:10,332 --> 00:12:12,628
But that's what's great about you,
332
00:12:12,629 --> 00:12:14,464
and if you can find a weird girl
333
00:12:14,465 --> 00:12:16,426
whose weirdness matches
up with your weirdness,
334
00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:20,185
pfft, I wouldn't let that go.
335
00:12:20,687 --> 00:12:22,815
LAUREN: Hey, Mindy, I'm back.
336
00:12:22,816 --> 00:12:24,067
Mindy?
337
00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:26,238
Oh, God, she's dead.
338
00:12:26,239 --> 00:12:28,492
I knew it would happen,
but it's still sad.
339
00:12:28,493 --> 00:12:30,121
- Ah! Ah! Ah!
- Ohh.
340
00:12:30,122 --> 00:12:32,166
- I'm not dead!
- What's wrong with you?
341
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:34,045
Help me up. God.
342
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,549
Why were you on the floor?
343
00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:37,301
I was extremely sad.
344
00:12:37,302 --> 00:12:39,974
Oh, are you thinking
about your ex-husband?
345
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:43,022
He was very, very attractive.
346
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:44,482
I had a dream about him.
347
00:12:44,483 --> 00:12:46,529
- What?
- I did.
348
00:12:46,530 --> 00:12:48,490
Okay, no, it was the right decision
349
00:12:48,491 --> 00:12:52,415
to get divorced from Ben,
but it's getting really messy.
350
00:12:52,416 --> 00:12:55,212
Lauren, do you know he wants
half of everything I own?
351
00:12:55,213 --> 00:12:56,674
- No.
- What's he gonna do
352
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,135
with 12 Omaha steaks every month?
353
00:12:58,136 --> 00:12:59,597
You know, I was married before
354
00:12:59,598 --> 00:13:01,601
to a guy who was horrible, and, man,
355
00:13:01,602 --> 00:13:05,274
the years after my divorce
were the hardest of my life.
356
00:13:05,275 --> 00:13:07,863
But they were also
very valuable, because they
357
00:13:07,864 --> 00:13:10,159
gave me a chance to really
figure out what I needed.
358
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,788
Which was Peter?
359
00:13:11,789 --> 00:13:14,502
Look, I'm as shocked as you, but, yeah.
360
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,006
- Hey, where is Peter anyway?
- Oh, Peter.
361
00:13:17,007 --> 00:13:19,595
Last I heard, he was
having lunch with Anna.
362
00:13:19,596 --> 00:13:21,098
You remember, blonde, skinny,
363
00:13:21,099 --> 00:13:22,475
John Mayer wrote a song about her.
364
00:13:22,476 --> 00:13:24,563
Oh, yeah, I know Anna.
365
00:13:24,564 --> 00:13:26,776
Lauren, I gotta tell you, that
was some really good advice.
366
00:13:26,777 --> 00:13:29,489
And now maybe you'd like
some advice from me?
367
00:13:29,490 --> 00:13:31,159
Maybe about alternate hairstyles
368
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,996
or different ways to style your hair?
369
00:13:32,997 --> 00:13:34,875
You know, I promised Peter
that I wouldn't use
370
00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:36,671
his tracking device, but what
am I supposed to do here?
371
00:13:36,672 --> 00:13:38,800
You have a tracking device
on Peter's phone?
372
00:13:38,801 --> 00:13:40,512
No, his thigh. What?
373
00:13:40,513 --> 00:13:42,056
They do it to zoo animals.
374
00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:45,271
Okay, what is at 22 West 4th Street?
375
00:13:45,272 --> 00:13:47,275
Oh, that's Anna's apartment.
376
00:13:47,276 --> 00:13:49,572
Oh, hell no. [groans]
377
00:13:49,573 --> 00:13:51,200
Lauren, we just... okay.
378
00:13:56,555 --> 00:13:59,675
[singing along] ? I'm coming up ?
379
00:13:59,676 --> 00:14:02,681
? So you better get this party started ?
380
00:14:02,682 --> 00:14:05,477
? Get this party started
on a Saturday... ?
381
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,983
Hey, where's Tamra? I got her dumplings.
382
00:14:07,984 --> 00:14:10,237
I'm not letting anyone
touch them. Oh, God, dude!
383
00:14:10,238 --> 00:14:12,366
Morgan, Tamra's not coming.
384
00:14:12,367 --> 00:14:14,078
She said she had to do her laundry.
385
00:14:14,079 --> 00:14:17,043
No, that can't be true.
I do her laundry.
386
00:14:17,044 --> 00:14:20,257
Hey, Morgan, we need to talk.
387
00:14:20,258 --> 00:14:22,596
Uh, okay, all right.
388
00:14:22,597 --> 00:14:24,600
I went to your closet, and
I hated everything that I saw,
389
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:28,190
so I called my tracksuit guy,
Slobomir, and... you hate it.
390
00:14:28,191 --> 00:14:31,781
I love it. It's amazing.
391
00:14:31,782 --> 00:14:33,241
"Charlie's Angels" much?
392
00:14:33,242 --> 00:14:35,162
Ahhh! Oh, my God!
393
00:14:35,163 --> 00:14:37,291
Ah, can someone take a picture?
Someone take our picture.
394
00:14:37,292 --> 00:14:39,838
JODY: Well, if it isn't
the lady of the hour.
395
00:14:39,839 --> 00:14:42,218
Sorry to hear that Ben
is putting the squeeze on you.
396
00:14:42,219 --> 00:14:44,848
I can't imagine losing
half of my fortune,
397
00:14:44,849 --> 00:14:46,686
but that's why I always carry
398
00:14:46,687 --> 00:14:48,355
a wrapped pre-nup in my wallet.
399
00:14:48,356 --> 00:14:50,527
I can't believe
400
00:14:50,528 --> 00:14:52,446
how insensitive you're all being.
401
00:14:52,447 --> 00:14:55,077
- Thank you, Colette.
- Dr. L, does not want to hear
402
00:14:55,078 --> 00:14:57,164
all these happy songs
while she's miserable.
403
00:14:57,165 --> 00:15:01,674
We should be singing about
her troubles and financial woes.
404
00:15:01,675 --> 00:15:05,974
? As the snow flies ?
405
00:15:05,975 --> 00:15:09,105
? On a cold and grey Chicago mornin' ?
406
00:15:09,106 --> 00:15:11,527
? A poor little baby child is born ?
407
00:15:11,528 --> 00:15:14,908
? In the ghetto, in the ghetto ?
408
00:15:14,909 --> 00:15:17,079
Oh, sorry. Oh, we're stuck together.
409
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,042
Isn't it ironic?
410
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:22,339
We are the two biggest, most
single losers in the whole club.
411
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,218
Yet we look like a million bugs.
412
00:15:24,219 --> 00:15:26,640
You mean a million bucks?
413
00:15:26,641 --> 00:15:28,811
What? No, bugs.
414
00:15:28,812 --> 00:15:30,272
How would you get a million bucks?
415
00:15:30,273 --> 00:15:31,817
Okay, good point.
416
00:15:31,818 --> 00:15:33,821
You know, Morgan, I was supposed to sing
417
00:15:33,822 --> 00:15:36,577
"Lady Marmalade" with Peter,
but it looks like he bailed
418
00:15:36,578 --> 00:15:38,371
after forcing me to attend this party.
419
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:39,917
Would you like to sing it with me?
420
00:15:39,918 --> 00:15:41,712
I would be honored.
421
00:15:41,713 --> 00:15:43,340
- JODY: We love you, Colette!
- ? Someday ?
422
00:15:43,341 --> 00:15:45,260
Yeah, you're done.
423
00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:47,223
Get out. Give it up.
424
00:15:47,224 --> 00:15:48,391
[cheers and applause]
425
00:15:48,392 --> 00:15:50,354
All right, now Dr. I and I
426
00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:52,609
are gonna sing a fun, positive song
427
00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:54,487
because your husband
might have left you,
428
00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:56,534
- but I never will.
- Thank you.
429
00:15:56,535 --> 00:15:58,203
- [phone rings]
- Ooh. Hold up one second.
430
00:15:58,204 --> 00:15:59,832
TAMRA: Hey, Morgan, I just walked by
431
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,627
a plus-sized female mannequin,
432
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,506
and it reminded me of you. Come over.
433
00:16:03,507 --> 00:16:05,134
I have to leave you.
I have to leave you right now.
434
00:16:05,135 --> 00:16:06,302
I'm sorry. Love is alive for me.
435
00:16:06,303 --> 00:16:07,806
I love you, I love you.
436
00:16:07,807 --> 00:16:10,728
- Wait, what about...
- Thank you.
437
00:16:10,729 --> 00:16:11,815
Go ahead.
438
00:16:14,153 --> 00:16:17,993
? We've only just begun ?
439
00:16:17,994 --> 00:16:19,120
[phone buzzes]
440
00:16:19,121 --> 00:16:21,040
? To live ?
441
00:16:21,041 --> 00:16:22,711
ANNA: Can you come outside?
442
00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:24,339
I need to talk, but I don't want
anyone to see me.
443
00:16:30,101 --> 00:16:31,896
Oh, hey, Anna.
444
00:16:31,897 --> 00:16:35,612
Oh, my God. Did you get a nose job?
445
00:16:35,613 --> 00:16:37,657
How? Your nose was so tiny.
446
00:16:37,658 --> 00:16:39,410
It must all just be nostrils now.
447
00:16:39,411 --> 00:16:42,834
No, I was punched by Peter's wife.
448
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,796
She thought I had designs
on her husband,
449
00:16:44,797 --> 00:16:47,009
and when I got physically
ill at the idea,
450
00:16:47,010 --> 00:16:48,638
she got even angrier.
451
00:16:48,639 --> 00:16:51,476
Anyway, Peter said he'd pay for karaoke,
452
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,104
so he sent me to give you this.
453
00:16:53,105 --> 00:16:54,650
It's a hundred dollars
from your dresser.
454
00:16:54,651 --> 00:16:57,238
Hey, wait a second.
455
00:16:57,239 --> 00:16:58,991
Why were you and Peter hanging out?
456
00:16:58,992 --> 00:17:00,912
[sighs]
457
00:17:00,913 --> 00:17:02,958
I've been thinking about
leaving the practice
458
00:17:02,959 --> 00:17:04,753
and getting Peter to replace me.
459
00:17:04,754 --> 00:17:06,966
He came over to my apartment
to work out the details.
460
00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:09,846
What? You were gonna leave the practice?
461
00:17:09,847 --> 00:17:11,809
Things have been so awkward with Jeremy
462
00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:13,521
ever since we broke up.
463
00:17:13,522 --> 00:17:15,942
I hate not being my normal,
easygoing self.
464
00:17:15,943 --> 00:17:17,403
So what? Suck it up.
465
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,073
You can't just leave the practice
466
00:17:19,074 --> 00:17:20,868
'cause it's awkward
with some ex at work.
467
00:17:20,869 --> 00:17:22,706
That's, like, the story of my life.
468
00:17:22,707 --> 00:17:24,751
I like having another woman
working at the office.
469
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:28,216
Plus, you're, like, my friend.
470
00:17:28,217 --> 00:17:29,803
Thank you.
471
00:17:29,804 --> 00:17:31,807
That's really nice.
472
00:17:31,808 --> 00:17:35,397
And I'm really sorry that
Ben went after your money.
473
00:17:35,398 --> 00:17:37,401
I know how important
money can be to people
474
00:17:37,402 --> 00:17:39,280
who didn't grow up with it.
475
00:17:39,281 --> 00:17:40,825
Yeah, I mean you went through
a divorce last year.
476
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,161
How do I handle these negotiations?
477
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,623
Negotiations?
478
00:17:43,624 --> 00:17:45,292
Why don't you just talk to Ben?
479
00:17:45,293 --> 00:17:47,087
Tim and I hammered it out
in one afternoon
480
00:17:47,088 --> 00:17:48,966
on our side-by-side ellipticals.
481
00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:52,014
Oh, no, my lawyer says
I shouldn't talk to him at all.
482
00:17:52,015 --> 00:17:54,435
You lawyer told you
to only talk to lawyers.
483
00:17:54,436 --> 00:17:56,189
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, seems like
484
00:17:56,190 --> 00:17:59,070
a pretty good way
to bill more hours, isn't it?
485
00:17:59,071 --> 00:18:01,157
You know what. I knew it, I knew it.
486
00:18:01,158 --> 00:18:02,952
I hate lawyers. First they tell me
487
00:18:02,953 --> 00:18:04,790
I can't come within 400 feet
of Carmelo Anthony,
488
00:18:04,791 --> 00:18:06,669
and now this.
489
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,714
Okay, I better go talk to Ben.
490
00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:11,427
Good luck.
491
00:18:11,428 --> 00:18:13,181
You know, Anna, maybe we're lucky.
492
00:18:13,182 --> 00:18:15,102
We both got divorced from men
493
00:18:15,103 --> 00:18:17,231
that we weren't really in love with.
494
00:18:17,232 --> 00:18:20,237
Trust me, it's a lot harder to
break up with someone you love.
495
00:18:20,238 --> 00:18:22,242
Bye.
496
00:18:24,496 --> 00:18:27,292
[gasps]
497
00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:29,004
Okay, okay, I just heard a request
498
00:18:29,005 --> 00:18:31,426
for "Pearl Necklace" by ZZ Top.
499
00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:33,096
Excuse me, Karen.
I have to perform a gesture.
500
00:18:33,097 --> 00:18:34,891
- Get off the stage.
- Ow!
501
00:18:34,892 --> 00:18:37,897
Jeremy, I know that
you have moved on from me,
502
00:18:37,898 --> 00:18:40,402
but I have discovered that
I cannot move on from you.
503
00:18:40,403 --> 00:18:42,406
I think about the day
that I turned you down,
504
00:18:42,407 --> 00:18:45,120
and I'd do anything to have
another chance to answer you.
505
00:18:45,121 --> 00:18:48,293
In other words...
506
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:52,886
? If I could turn back time ?
507
00:18:52,887 --> 00:18:57,604
? If I could find a way ?
508
00:18:57,605 --> 00:19:01,862
? I'd take back all the words
that have hurt you ?
509
00:19:01,863 --> 00:19:04,241
? And you'd stay ?
510
00:19:04,242 --> 00:19:05,828
Oh, my God, it's happening.
511
00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:08,082
My life is finally becoming a musical.
512
00:19:08,083 --> 00:19:09,753
I'm "A Star is Born-ing."
513
00:19:09,754 --> 00:19:11,297
? I don't know why ?
514
00:19:11,298 --> 00:19:14,053
? I did the things I did ?
515
00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:18,604
? I don't know why I said
the things I said ?
516
00:19:18,605 --> 00:19:22,402
Both: ? Pride's like a knife,
I can cut deep inside ?
517
00:19:22,403 --> 00:19:24,616
? Words are like weapons ?
518
00:19:24,617 --> 00:19:27,622
? They wound sometimes ?
519
00:19:27,623 --> 00:19:28,749
? ?
520
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,418
[cheering]
521
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,926
? I didn't really mean to hurt you ?
522
00:19:33,927 --> 00:19:36,389
? I didn't want to see you go ?
523
00:19:36,390 --> 00:19:38,519
? I know I made you cry ?
524
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:43,654
? But baby, if I could turn back time ?
525
00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:45,992
CHER: ? If I could find a way ?
526
00:19:45,993 --> 00:19:48,581
[all cheering]
527
00:19:48,582 --> 00:19:52,922
CHER: ? I'd take back all
those words that hurt you ?
528
00:19:52,923 --> 00:19:54,593
Oh, hello. Are you the clown
529
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,970
to cheer up the patients in pediatrics?
530
00:19:55,971 --> 00:19:57,765
Obviously not.
531
00:19:57,766 --> 00:20:00,605
Although, yes, I do have
a scarf up my sleeve.
532
00:20:00,606 --> 00:20:02,190
But that's just because of static cling.
533
00:20:02,191 --> 00:20:03,484
I'm looking for Ben.
534
00:20:03,485 --> 00:20:05,280
Ben's in with a patient.
535
00:20:05,281 --> 00:20:06,909
You can sit in the waiting room
or just stand.
536
00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:08,913
Those shoes look so comfortable.
537
00:20:08,914 --> 00:20:10,918
Okay, that's enough.
538
00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:15,133
- Lindsay.
- Hey, Mindy.
539
00:20:15,134 --> 00:20:18,807
Hey, it's so great to see you.
540
00:20:18,808 --> 00:20:21,145
I just want to say I am really sorry
541
00:20:21,146 --> 00:20:23,651
that I'm not gonna be
your stepmom anymore.
542
00:20:23,652 --> 00:20:25,821
And I hope that what your dad
and I are going through
543
00:20:25,822 --> 00:20:28,368
doesn't hurt you too much,
because the truth is,
544
00:20:28,369 --> 00:20:30,246
I love you, and I think you're the best.
545
00:20:30,247 --> 00:20:31,833
Thanks.
546
00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:33,963
I heard my dad talking to the lawyer,
547
00:20:33,964 --> 00:20:36,718
and it seems like they were
asking for some money.
548
00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:38,597
Is it a lot?
549
00:20:38,598 --> 00:20:40,685
You know what? It doesn't matter.
550
00:20:40,686 --> 00:20:42,605
Because if it means
you get to have a nice life
551
00:20:42,606 --> 00:20:45,569
and go to college,
then it's money well spent.
552
00:20:45,570 --> 00:20:46,572
Come here.
553
00:20:48,618 --> 00:20:51,665
Oh, hey, and we can still
hang out, like, all the time.
554
00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:53,292
No, that's okay.
555
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,296
I've been spending
a lot of time with my mom
556
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,384
and my dad's new girlfriend, Vanessa.
557
00:20:57,385 --> 00:21:00,725
Exsqueeze me? There's a Vanessa already?
558
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,729
Meanwhile, I had dinner with
Morgan three times last week,
559
00:21:02,730 --> 00:21:04,440
and I loved it.
560
00:21:04,441 --> 00:21:07,404
Vanessa's so cool.
She runs Reality at MTV.
561
00:21:07,405 --> 00:21:09,909
Okay, that's a cool job
if it's, like, 1987.
562
00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:12,080
Eh, anyway, I'm gonna let you
get back to your book.
563
00:21:12,081 --> 00:21:15,462
Oh, hey, Linds, please don't
unfollow me on Twitter.
564
00:21:15,463 --> 00:21:18,134
Yesterday @DollarsForFollowers
unfollowed me.
565
00:21:18,135 --> 00:21:19,721
I'm down to single digits.
566
00:21:19,722 --> 00:21:21,098
I won't unfollow you.
567
00:21:21,099 --> 00:21:23,436
Sweet, sweet girl.
568
00:21:23,437 --> 00:21:24,606
Bye, Linds.
569
00:21:24,607 --> 00:21:27,194
Bye.
570
00:21:27,195 --> 00:21:29,448
Dr. Lahiri, Ben's available bow.
571
00:21:29,449 --> 00:21:31,285
Not available romantically though.
572
00:21:31,286 --> 00:21:32,914
He's really serious with Vanessa.
573
00:21:32,915 --> 00:21:35,795
Actually, I don't need
to see Ben anymore.
574
00:21:35,796 --> 00:21:37,716
You can just tell him
I lost a lot of weight.
575
00:21:41,516 --> 00:21:44,562
Hey, Cliff, it's your
favorite ex-girlfriend.
576
00:21:44,563 --> 00:21:46,232
Well, that's not true.
577
00:21:46,233 --> 00:21:48,570
Fine, your favorite
non-white ex-girlfriend.
578
00:21:48,571 --> 00:21:51,117
That would be Agnes Choi
from high school.
579
00:21:51,118 --> 00:21:53,246
Okay, you know what, who cares?
580
00:21:53,247 --> 00:21:55,751
Just can you please tell me
how my divorce is going?
581
00:21:55,752 --> 00:21:57,547
Well, you know, normally
I don't get to say this,
582
00:21:57,548 --> 00:21:59,717
but I've actually got some good news.
583
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:01,680
Apparently, you went
and spoke to Lindsay,
584
00:22:01,681 --> 00:22:03,474
who got her dad to back down.
585
00:22:03,475 --> 00:22:05,688
Wow, I tell you, even I've
never been cynical enough
586
00:22:05,689 --> 00:22:07,942
to go after the kid. I am impressed.
587
00:22:07,943 --> 00:22:10,363
Okay, it wasn't cynical.
588
00:22:10,364 --> 00:22:14,288
Lindsay and I shared
a really tender moment.
589
00:22:14,289 --> 00:22:17,920
Just goes to show you,
Cliff, that sometimes in law,
590
00:22:17,921 --> 00:22:20,049
the best way to get to people's heads
591
00:22:20,050 --> 00:22:21,636
is through their hearts.
592
00:22:21,637 --> 00:22:24,266
Yes, you have quite the legal mind.
593
00:22:24,267 --> 00:22:26,103
- Thank you.
- Get your feet off my desk.
594
00:22:26,104 --> 00:22:29,777
Well, either way,
I'm glad I was able to help.
595
00:22:29,778 --> 00:22:33,994
I just wish Danny's divorce
was going as easily as yours.
596
00:22:33,995 --> 00:22:36,666
Danny's getting divorced?
597
00:22:36,667 --> 00:22:38,587
No, I mean, not your Danny.
598
00:22:38,588 --> 00:22:42,010
No, it's a Danny... Italiano.
599
00:22:42,011 --> 00:22:44,014
That was terrible.
Look, just don't tell anybody.
600
00:22:44,015 --> 00:22:46,019
Oh, I won't tell a soul.
601
00:22:46,043 --> 00:22:50,252
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
602
00:22:50,277 --> 00:22:51,279
MAN: Go to bed.
603
00:22:51,329 --> 00:22:55,879
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