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1
00:00:02,796 --> 00:00:05,440
[lilting music]
2
00:00:05,441 --> 00:00:11,846
3
00:00:11,847 --> 00:00:13,614
Okay.
4
00:00:14,735 --> 00:00:16,491
5
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:21,502
Mindy...
6
00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:24,555
Mindy, I'm getting married.
7
00:00:24,555 --> 00:00:26,164
Let me try that again.
8
00:00:26,165 --> 00:00:27,505
Someone likes me,
9
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,814
and, uh, so I'm gonna
get hitched.
10
00:00:29,815 --> 00:00:31,383
Dan the Man is... yeah.
11
00:00:31,383 --> 00:00:32,783
I'm not gonna do
the Dan the Man.
12
00:00:32,784 --> 00:00:34,485
That's stupid.
I'll just cut the Dan the Man.
13
00:00:34,485 --> 00:00:36,619
Just go int... I got it.
14
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,621
Mindy, this here is
15
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:41,924
a, uh... a wedding invitation
for you.
16
00:00:41,924 --> 00:00:43,624
So stupid.
17
00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:45,293
I'm cool.
Pull yourself together.
18
00:00:45,293 --> 00:00:46,660
I'm good.
[Leo babbles]
19
00:00:46,661 --> 00:00:48,677
You good?
I'll just wing it.
20
00:00:48,677 --> 00:00:49,831
All right, let's do it.
21
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:52,431
[knocks on door]
22
00:00:52,431 --> 00:00:55,066
Hey.
Hi, sweetie!
23
00:00:55,066 --> 00:00:57,134
You're ten minutes early,
which is late for you.
24
00:00:57,135 --> 00:00:58,735
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, I just wanted
25
00:00:58,735 --> 00:01:00,303
- to talk to you about something.
- Okay.
26
00:01:00,304 --> 00:01:01,671
Wait, you don't need money,
do you?
27
00:01:01,671 --> 00:01:03,471
Now is not a good time.
I fell asleep on my keyboard.
28
00:01:03,472 --> 00:01:04,873
I bought everything on iTunes.
29
00:01:04,873 --> 00:01:07,309
No, it's not that.
It is pretty serious though.
30
00:01:09,343 --> 00:01:13,070
Okay, I need to tell you
that I'm getting...
31
00:01:14,713 --> 00:01:15,980
[exhales]
32
00:01:15,981 --> 00:01:17,315
I'm... I'm getting...
33
00:01:17,316 --> 00:01:18,750
You can tell me.
34
00:01:20,851 --> 00:01:23,119
I'm getting fed up
35
00:01:23,119 --> 00:01:24,987
with this mess.
36
00:01:24,987 --> 00:01:26,955
This... this mess
37
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,156
all over your apartment.
38
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,890
It's... your clothes strewn a...
39
00:01:29,891 --> 00:01:31,925
Look at this.
40
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,292
I'm standing on a brassiere?
41
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,360
I mean, come on.
I don't like it.
42
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,062
I don't like it for Leo.
43
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:38,396
I know.
It's a disaster.
44
00:01:38,396 --> 00:01:39,597
You're right.
45
00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:41,465
I am?
46
00:01:41,466 --> 00:01:42,800
[sighs] I wanna blame it on
47
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:43,933
how much I'm working,
but you know what?
48
00:01:43,934 --> 00:01:46,102
We have the same job,
and your toilet is cleaner
49
00:01:46,102 --> 00:01:47,135
than my whole kitchen.
50
00:01:47,136 --> 00:01:48,670
Last night, at bedtime,
51
00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:50,237
I was looking
for one of Leo's books,
52
00:01:50,238 --> 00:01:51,238
couldn't find them,
53
00:01:51,239 --> 00:01:52,840
so I just read him
the nutrition facts
54
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,341
on the back of some Bagel Bites.
55
00:01:54,342 --> 00:01:55,962
- Bagel Bites?
- Can you believe that?
56
00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:57,242
- Oh, no, no, don... no, don't...
- [sobbing]
57
00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:59,311
No don't... don't get worked up.
58
00:01:59,311 --> 00:02:01,045
Your blood pressures real bad.
Take a deep breath.
59
00:02:01,046 --> 00:02:02,547
I'm an unfit mother.
60
00:02:02,547 --> 00:02:04,514
No, it's not that bad.
61
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,183
Look, I think this could be
good for him.
62
00:02:06,183 --> 00:02:07,650
Good for his immune system.
63
00:02:07,651 --> 00:02:08,718
He doesn't need
to go to the park
64
00:02:08,718 --> 00:02:10,085
and roll around in the dirt.
65
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,987
He'll do it right here, right?
66
00:02:11,988 --> 00:02:14,122
- Yeah.
- Yeah, everything's good.
67
00:02:14,122 --> 00:02:15,623
Forget I said anything,
all right?
68
00:02:15,623 --> 00:02:16,923
I gotta go.
I got a meeting.
69
00:02:16,924 --> 00:02:18,625
Good talk.
Great talk, yeah.
70
00:02:18,626 --> 00:02:20,826
I'm, uh... I'm gonna go.
71
00:02:20,826 --> 00:02:22,461
Okay?
All right.
72
00:02:22,461 --> 00:02:25,262
[soft music]
73
00:02:25,263 --> 00:02:28,199
[sighs]
74
00:02:28,199 --> 00:02:36,344
75
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,509
[hip-hop music]
76
00:02:43,509 --> 00:02:46,879
77
00:02:52,846 --> 00:02:54,943
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
78
00:02:57,894 --> 00:03:00,187
[Enrique Iglesias "Bailando"
playing over laptop]
79
00:03:00,187 --> 00:03:03,124
[singing in Spanish]
80
00:03:04,010 --> 00:03:05,510
Yeah.
81
00:03:05,511 --> 00:03:06,970
- Yes.
- Oh, my God, you guys.
82
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:09,293
- Yeah.
- We're gonna have so much fun
83
00:03:09,294 --> 00:03:11,262
- this weekend in Miami.
- I can't wait to get down
84
00:03:11,262 --> 00:03:13,997
with some Cuban guy
and just feel that gold crucifix
85
00:03:13,997 --> 00:03:15,822
- just banging me in the chin.
- Mm, yes.
86
00:03:15,823 --> 00:03:17,394
Ooh, that was vivid.
I like that.
87
00:03:17,394 --> 00:03:18,700
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, mm.
- [sighs]
88
00:03:18,701 --> 00:03:20,168
I need to get away from Jody.
89
00:03:20,168 --> 00:03:22,670
He just keeps leaving me
these annoying apology gifts.
90
00:03:22,671 --> 00:03:24,829
Yesterday, he left me this.
91
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,039
- Hmm.
- The note says:
92
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,440
"If it will help you forgive me,
93
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,007
you can shoot me in the leg."
94
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:31,009
Guys, the worst part is,
95
00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:32,977
I kind of liked him, you know?
96
00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:34,545
I thought that maybe we would
actually have something.
97
00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:35,578
- All right.
- Okay.
98
00:03:35,579 --> 00:03:36,646
- What?
- I think maybe we just
99
00:03:36,647 --> 00:03:38,242
put the gun down
when we tell the story.
100
00:03:38,242 --> 00:03:39,581
- Just in...
- It's not loaded.
101
00:03:39,582 --> 00:03:40,683
- Oh, it is loaded.
- Let's just put it back.
102
00:03:40,683 --> 00:03:41,916
Mindy, just forget Jody,
103
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,317
and by this time tomorrow,
104
00:03:43,318 --> 00:03:45,853
we're gonna have, like,
ten gallons of mojitos in us...
105
00:03:45,853 --> 00:03:47,187
- Ooh-la-la.
- Yeah.
106
00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:48,754
Hey, you're sober though, right?
107
00:03:48,755 --> 00:03:51,290
- So you shouldn't be drinking.
- I'm sober, but from drugs,
108
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:53,058
which means that I have
to drink twice as much now.
109
00:03:53,059 --> 00:03:54,192
- [knocks on door]
- I get that.
110
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,259
- [laughs]
- I didn't know that.
111
00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:57,047
- Mindy?
- Ugh.
112
00:03:57,047 --> 00:03:59,829
Oh, I didn't realize
you had company.
113
00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,031
Um, would you mind
giving us a moment, please?
114
00:04:02,031 --> 00:04:04,166
Stay away, Mr. Chlamydia.
115
00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:05,533
Yeah, I don't want
to get chlamydia
116
00:04:05,534 --> 00:04:06,942
till I am in Miami.
117
00:04:06,943 --> 00:04:08,235
I don't have chlamydia anymore.
118
00:04:08,235 --> 00:04:09,836
It's part of what I wanted
to tell you, Mindy.
119
00:04:09,837 --> 00:04:11,438
If you'll just give me
30 minutes of your time,
120
00:04:11,438 --> 00:04:13,405
I'd like to make
a formal apology.
121
00:04:13,406 --> 00:04:15,674
[clears throat]
"Mindy, when in the course
122
00:04:15,674 --> 00:04:17,175
- of romantic events..."
- Hey, man,
123
00:04:17,176 --> 00:04:19,777
I ain't got no time
for no 30 minute apology speech.
124
00:04:19,777 --> 00:04:21,619
Maybe when I come back
in a couple days,
125
00:04:21,619 --> 00:04:22,478
and I'm tanned, braided,
126
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,779
and I'm engaged
to Ricky Martin...
127
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:24,914
- Yeah.
- Or his husband.
128
00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:25,788
- That's right.
- Get it.
129
00:04:25,789 --> 00:04:26,628
- [laughing]
- Up here.
130
00:04:26,748 --> 00:04:28,277
That's what's up.
131
00:04:28,277 --> 00:04:30,451
Tamra, we've discussed
the dress code.
132
00:04:30,452 --> 00:04:32,219
What?
I'm wearing scrubs.
133
00:04:32,219 --> 00:04:33,619
Yeah, but you cut the belly off.
134
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:35,288
Now you're 20% nude.
135
00:04:35,288 --> 00:04:36,379
Don't you think
that I would love
136
00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:38,023
to cut the arms off my lab coat
137
00:04:38,023 --> 00:04:40,357
to create a trendy
knee-length vest?
138
00:04:40,358 --> 00:04:42,226
Of course I would, but I don't.
139
00:04:42,226 --> 00:04:44,728
Because we must hide
our true selves at work.
140
00:04:44,728 --> 00:04:46,395
[alarm blaring]
141
00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:48,997
Oh, my God, the fire alarm!
Tamra, stay calm!
142
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,165
- Everybody, stay calm!
- I've got this!
143
00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:53,667
Volunteer firefighter
to the rescue!
144
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,901
[yelling]
145
00:04:54,901 --> 00:04:56,837
- Oh, God!
- Whoo!
146
00:04:58,144 --> 00:05:00,805
Okay, people,
we need a safety meeting.
147
00:05:00,806 --> 00:05:03,899
What we have is
a classic contact fire.
148
00:05:03,899 --> 00:05:08,145
This garment rack came in
contact with this hot pipe.
149
00:05:08,144 --> 00:05:09,478
So, in layman's terms,
what that means...
150
00:05:09,479 --> 00:05:10,645
- Oh, don't... Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.
151
00:05:10,646 --> 00:05:12,247
Oh, God, my beautiful clothes.
152
00:05:12,247 --> 00:05:13,614
- [cries]
- Shh, shh, shh, shh.
153
00:05:13,615 --> 00:05:15,850
I was saving that dress
for the funeral of an enemy.
154
00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:17,283
That's who did this.
Kelly Ripa.
155
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,351
- No, no, no, no, no, no...
- Kelly Ripa did it.
156
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:20,219
Mindy, you can't be leaving
157
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,107
your personal rubbish
at work anymore.
158
00:05:22,107 --> 00:05:23,524
It's becoming hazardous.
159
00:05:23,525 --> 00:05:25,723
My closet is now
a nursery for my son,
160
00:05:25,723 --> 00:05:27,402
so I have no place
to keep my clothes.
161
00:05:27,403 --> 00:05:28,825
Leave your possessions at home.
162
00:05:28,825 --> 00:05:31,727
My apartment is bursting
with Lady Di memorabilia.
163
00:05:31,728 --> 00:05:34,463
Do you see me
waltzing around here in a tiara?
164
00:05:34,463 --> 00:05:35,898
[quietly] No.
165
00:05:37,201 --> 00:05:39,600
Oh, God.
Okay, fine.
166
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,000
- I'll figure something out.
- Okay.
167
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:42,802
Shh, it's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
168
00:05:42,802 --> 00:05:44,302
Can I keep the burned clothes,
Dr. L?
169
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:45,771
No, they're too nice for you.
170
00:05:45,771 --> 00:05:49,055
Fine, but can I cut off
my scubs top like Tamra?
171
00:05:49,055 --> 00:05:51,207
Fashion is going to destroy
this office.
172
00:05:51,208 --> 00:05:54,244
[mischievous music]
173
00:05:54,244 --> 00:05:55,244
174
00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:57,579
- [sighs]
- Hey, Dr. L.
175
00:05:57,579 --> 00:05:59,021
Leo's preschool just
called for you,
176
00:05:59,021 --> 00:06:00,013
and it sounded pretty important.
177
00:06:00,014 --> 00:06:01,981
Bleecker Friends Quaker School
for Pre-Toddlers?
178
00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:03,350
He got suspended
179
00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:04,750
or he's wearing suspenders.
180
00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:06,719
I didn't write it down
'cause my memory's so good.
181
00:06:06,719 --> 00:06:08,319
You know what?
He's so hot,
182
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,954
he probably hooked up
with one of the teachers.
183
00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:12,203
Excuse me.
184
00:06:13,190 --> 00:06:14,590
Ah, Morgan,
185
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:16,292
I need you to do me
a small favor.
186
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,193
Yeah, I'll do jury duty for you.
187
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:20,729
- Let me go get my wig.
- No, nothing like that.
188
00:06:20,729 --> 00:06:22,830
I'd like to borrow
the key to Mindy's apartment.
189
00:06:22,830 --> 00:06:24,998
I wanna leave her a surprise
while she's away in Miami.
190
00:06:24,999 --> 00:06:26,199
- No way, bub.
- Oh...
191
00:06:26,199 --> 00:06:27,499
She almost took the key away
192
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,269
when I hosted
a small dog wedding there.
193
00:06:30,269 --> 00:06:31,702
A gay dog wedding.
194
00:06:31,703 --> 00:06:33,337
- Look at that.
- Uh-huh.
195
00:06:33,337 --> 00:06:36,701
Well, I would like to build her
a walk-in closet.
196
00:06:36,701 --> 00:06:38,140
Yeah, well, she needs one.
197
00:06:38,141 --> 00:06:40,543
She's been keeping
all of her accessories in here.
198
00:06:40,543 --> 00:06:43,578
I mean, Brian looks
like frigging Jack Sparrow.
199
00:06:43,578 --> 00:06:45,012
So you'll help me then, Morgan?
200
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:48,882
Yeah, all right, I'll do it,
but if she gets mad...
201
00:06:48,882 --> 00:06:50,683
I'm take the fall for you
202
00:06:50,683 --> 00:06:51,850
- 'cause I love you.
- Thank you.
203
00:06:51,851 --> 00:06:53,318
- Come on, let's go.
- Oh.
204
00:06:53,318 --> 00:06:55,152
I was go...
I was gonna give you five
205
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:57,188
and it...
let's go, let's go, let's go.
206
00:06:57,188 --> 00:06:58,758
207
00:06:58,759 --> 00:07:00,557
Dr. Lahiri, Dr. Castellano,
208
00:07:00,557 --> 00:07:02,224
your son has been suspended
209
00:07:02,225 --> 00:07:04,693
for a violent outburst
on the playground.
210
00:07:04,693 --> 00:07:06,828
Leo bit some girl in the arm.
211
00:07:06,828 --> 00:07:08,528
Oh, no, that's not possible.
212
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,197
Our son is a sweet little angel.
213
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,897
I mean, he's even friends
with that little nerdy kid
214
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,865
with glasses even though
I told him not to be.
215
00:07:13,865 --> 00:07:15,900
Here's a photo of the victim.
216
00:07:15,901 --> 00:07:17,435
Okay, well...
oh, my God.
217
00:07:17,435 --> 00:07:18,769
Oh, God, that's bad.
Put it back.
218
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:19,903
Okay, couple things:
219
00:07:19,904 --> 00:07:21,471
She's wearing a cupcake onesie.
220
00:07:21,471 --> 00:07:23,472
She looks delicious.
I mean, I would have bitten her.
221
00:07:23,473 --> 00:07:26,609
It brought me no joy
to put your son in baby cuffs
222
00:07:26,609 --> 00:07:28,043
and hand him to your nanny,
223
00:07:28,043 --> 00:07:31,512
but we take violence
very seriously at this school.
224
00:07:31,512 --> 00:07:34,414
It goes against everything
our Quaker founder,
225
00:07:34,414 --> 00:07:36,547
Brother Jub Smith, stood for...
226
00:07:36,548 --> 00:07:38,217
or sat for.
227
00:07:38,217 --> 00:07:41,185
He donated his own legs
to a man who had none.
228
00:07:41,185 --> 00:07:43,787
In fact, this building is
the location
229
00:07:43,788 --> 00:07:45,917
of Manhattan's first
electric elevator.
230
00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:48,224
Hey, man,
I gotta catch a flight to Miami,
231
00:07:48,224 --> 00:07:49,390
so if you could maybe tell us
232
00:07:49,391 --> 00:07:50,992
this sad-ass elevator story
another time,
233
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,459
- that would be great.
- Okay, well, look,
234
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:54,895
can we possibly just
discipline Leo at home?
235
00:07:54,895 --> 00:07:56,128
Like, no "Dora" for a week?
236
00:07:56,129 --> 00:07:57,163
Which would be hard for me too.
237
00:07:57,164 --> 00:07:58,364
I mean, that's a very cute show.
238
00:07:58,364 --> 00:08:00,265
When a child lashes out,
239
00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:02,934
it's a sign that there
is trouble at home.
240
00:08:02,934 --> 00:08:05,514
- Not in this case.
- Well, might be in this case.
241
00:08:05,514 --> 00:08:07,014
The little guy's been
going through a lot.
242
00:08:07,015 --> 00:08:09,272
His mom's get
a very hectic work schedule.
243
00:08:09,272 --> 00:08:11,373
Exsqueeze me?
We have the same job.
244
00:08:11,373 --> 00:08:12,614
If anything,
I think my son's biting
245
00:08:12,615 --> 00:08:14,520
because he inherited
an anger problem
246
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:15,275
- from his father.
- What?
247
00:08:15,276 --> 00:08:16,810
- What am I angry about?
- I don't know.
248
00:08:16,811 --> 00:08:18,812
Your mom, your dad,
me leaving you,
249
00:08:18,812 --> 00:08:21,113
your guilt-based religion,
doping in baseball,
250
00:08:21,113 --> 00:08:22,847
- Mayor de Blasio...
- All these teens
251
00:08:22,848 --> 00:08:24,616
just smoking dope
right out in public?
252
00:08:24,616 --> 00:08:26,950
I never saw that under Giuliani.
Did you?
253
00:08:26,951 --> 00:08:30,888
Look, Leo's mom
and I were together for awhile,
254
00:08:30,888 --> 00:08:32,455
and I gotta tell you...
255
00:08:32,455 --> 00:08:34,456
she's the biter.
256
00:08:34,457 --> 00:08:36,057
How dare you.
257
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,058
I bit you in confidence,
and you loved it.
258
00:08:38,058 --> 00:08:40,126
You begged for it.
Oh, and you don't bite?
259
00:08:40,127 --> 00:08:41,261
Why don't you
tell it to my nipples.
260
00:08:41,262 --> 00:08:42,829
I'm not gonna talk
to your nip...
261
00:08:42,829 --> 00:08:44,229
why are we talking
about your nipples right now?
262
00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:45,330
I'll tell you something.
263
00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:46,564
We don't have the same job,
Mindy.
264
00:08:46,565 --> 00:08:48,366
Okay?
I do one job.
265
00:08:48,366 --> 00:08:50,233
You do 18 jobs.
266
00:08:50,234 --> 00:08:51,568
That's right.
I forgot.
267
00:08:51,568 --> 00:08:52,868
Because this is Afghanistan,
268
00:08:52,869 --> 00:08:54,756
and a woman is not permitted
to have ambition.
269
00:08:54,757 --> 00:08:55,924
Right, it's Afghanistan.
270
00:08:55,924 --> 00:08:57,772
I'm just
a human fricking pacifier.
271
00:08:57,773 --> 00:08:59,606
Mindy's in Florida so we have
the whole weekend.
272
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,174
Now, the first thing
we're gonna do is
273
00:09:01,175 --> 00:09:04,431
get rid of this stupid
spiraled-stair bookcase thing,
274
00:09:04,431 --> 00:09:06,412
and then we're gonna put
a walk-in closet right here.
275
00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,914
We can do that in a weekend,
right Collette?
276
00:09:08,914 --> 00:09:09,980
I guess.
277
00:09:09,981 --> 00:09:11,315
I kinda had other plans
278
00:09:11,316 --> 00:09:12,650
than to spend my weekend
279
00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:14,717
building my older brother's
non-girlfriend
280
00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:16,386
an apology closet.
281
00:09:16,386 --> 00:09:17,619
Shame on you.
282
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:19,454
Dr. L will be
coming back from vacation,
283
00:09:19,454 --> 00:09:21,656
and if she doesn't have
a gift waiting for her,
284
00:09:21,657 --> 00:09:23,524
she could have
the post-vacation blues.
285
00:09:23,524 --> 00:09:25,492
Come on now, it'll be a snap.
286
00:09:25,492 --> 00:09:27,259
How long can it take
to wall off one room?
287
00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:30,162
It only took father one night
to board mother up in the attic.
288
00:09:30,162 --> 00:09:31,829
This whole thing seems
a little weird.
289
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:34,065
Well, if people were always
worried about what seemed weird,
290
00:09:34,065 --> 00:09:36,199
we'd never know how delicious
pigs' feet were, would we?
291
00:09:36,199 --> 00:09:37,566
Okay.
292
00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:38,758
Morgan, why don't you start
293
00:09:38,759 --> 00:09:40,569
by unscrewing the staircase
from the ceiling, please.
294
00:09:40,569 --> 00:09:41,836
You got it, boss.
Hey, I got a little bit of,
295
00:09:41,837 --> 00:09:44,539
uh, vertigo from both sides
of the family,
296
00:09:44,539 --> 00:09:46,835
but I think it's gonna be okay.
297
00:09:46,835 --> 00:09:48,942
- Yeah...
- Lefty loose-y.
298
00:09:48,943 --> 00:09:51,411
All right, you're doing
excellent work up there, Morgan.
299
00:09:51,411 --> 00:09:54,947
Ah, thank you
for the encouragement, Dr. K.
300
00:09:54,947 --> 00:09:56,592
- Are you okay?
- Why'd I look down?
301
00:09:56,592 --> 00:09:58,114
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, God.
302
00:09:58,115 --> 00:10:00,083
- Oh, God.
- [grunts]
303
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,785
- both: Oh!
- Morgan, Morgan!
304
00:10:02,785 --> 00:10:04,218
Oh, my God, are you okay?
305
00:10:04,219 --> 00:10:05,687
I think the vertigo is gone.
306
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,455
[exhales sharply]
307
00:10:07,455 --> 00:10:09,022
[upbeat music]
308
00:10:09,023 --> 00:10:10,657
Oh, dear.
309
00:10:10,657 --> 00:10:12,686
Why would you think it was
a good idea
310
00:10:12,687 --> 00:10:13,659
to talk about our sex life at
a Quaker school?
311
00:10:13,659 --> 00:10:15,126
Because sex sells.
312
00:10:15,127 --> 00:10:16,995
Why did you think it was a good
idea to bribe him?
313
00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:19,483
$15 is a lot for a teacher.
It could have swayed him.
314
00:10:19,484 --> 00:10:20,998
Okay, Danny,
this is the principal
315
00:10:20,998 --> 00:10:22,265
at our son's school, all right?
316
00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:23,266
This isn't a ma??tre d'
317
00:10:23,266 --> 00:10:24,800
at Anthony's Crab Shack.
318
00:10:24,801 --> 00:10:26,134
Okay, what did you
want me to do?
319
00:10:26,135 --> 00:10:27,636
The only other thing
I had was a 50.
320
00:10:27,636 --> 00:10:28,903
Would it have killed you
to dressed up?
321
00:10:28,904 --> 00:10:30,741
You had to wear jeans
to this very important meeting.
322
00:10:30,741 --> 00:10:32,238
I ironed these jeans.
323
00:10:32,239 --> 00:10:34,774
Sorry, I didn't know we were
gonna flirt our way out of this.
324
00:10:34,774 --> 00:10:35,808
You know what,
don't cute-shame me.
325
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,476
My sexuality has gotten us
a lot.
326
00:10:37,476 --> 00:10:38,876
Like those extra cable channels.
327
00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:41,012
[elevator thuds]
328
00:10:41,012 --> 00:10:43,080
- What happened?
- Oh, it just... we stopped.
329
00:10:43,081 --> 00:10:44,847
- Danny?
- Hey, don't worry about it.
330
00:10:44,847 --> 00:10:46,148
I'm from New York.
I got this.
331
00:10:46,149 --> 00:10:47,084
Okay.
332
00:10:52,423 --> 00:10:54,822
That was your plan?
333
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:56,956
- To press one?
- That usually works.
334
00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:58,056
That did nothing.
I could have come up
335
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,391
- with that trick.
- Okay, okay.
336
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,892
- Oh, God.
- No, shh.
337
00:11:00,892 --> 00:11:02,326
- Oh, God.
- Just take... take it easy.
338
00:11:02,327 --> 00:11:04,128
Oh, God.
This is my fault.
339
00:11:04,128 --> 00:11:06,296
I'm well over the weight limit.
Every Saturday morning
340
00:11:06,297 --> 00:11:08,031
when I told you
I was going to spin class.
341
00:11:08,031 --> 00:11:09,798
I was in line for cronuts.
342
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,066
They're just so cakey,
343
00:11:11,066 --> 00:11:12,783
and now I weigh 4, 000 pounds.
344
00:11:12,784 --> 00:11:14,749
- No... you're hyperventilating.
- I'm freaking out!
345
00:11:18,972 --> 00:11:21,040
Hello? Hello?
If you Quaker sons of bitches
346
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,309
- don't drop your goddamn oats...
- Okay, stop, stop screaming.
347
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,377
It's a school on a Friday night.
No one's here.
348
00:11:26,378 --> 00:11:28,545
I'm gonna miss my flight, okay?
349
00:11:28,545 --> 00:11:29,865
No reception.
350
00:11:29,866 --> 00:11:30,913
Can't even call
Chelsea and Whitney
351
00:11:30,913 --> 00:11:32,714
and tell them
I'm gonna miss our sex vacation.
352
00:11:32,715 --> 00:11:34,316
Do you know how many
wet t-shirts I packed?
353
00:11:34,316 --> 00:11:35,649
No, no, I don't want to hear
354
00:11:35,650 --> 00:11:38,419
the mother of my child's going
on a sexy trip.
355
00:11:38,419 --> 00:11:40,653
That's TM-information.
356
00:11:40,654 --> 00:11:42,789
Danny, you know
I'm a very sexual person.
357
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,790
If I can't be myself,
then I'm just not gonna talk.
358
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:45,990
I'd prefer that.
359
00:11:45,991 --> 00:11:48,359
Well, me too.
In fact, this is good.
360
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,327
I can catch up on my thoughts.
361
00:11:50,328 --> 00:11:51,395
[jazz music]
362
00:11:51,395 --> 00:11:52,695
How does this work?
363
00:11:52,696 --> 00:11:54,530
Do I just picture something
with my mind?
364
00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:57,499
Oh, I... we're... we're fine.
We're fine.
365
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,262
I think that's
an unoccupied unit up there.
366
00:11:59,262 --> 00:12:01,435
No, it's old man Horowitz.
He's the worst.
367
00:12:01,435 --> 00:12:03,803
He always bangs on the floor
when Leo cries.
368
00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:05,071
What's going on?
369
00:12:05,071 --> 00:12:06,904
Why is there a whole
in my floor?
370
00:12:06,905 --> 00:12:08,573
Shh.
371
00:12:08,573 --> 00:12:10,435
Okay, okay, we have
to make it look like a burglary.
372
00:12:10,436 --> 00:12:11,409
- What?
- That's what this is.
373
00:12:11,409 --> 00:12:12,658
Morgan, I don't think
that's gonna help.
374
00:12:12,659 --> 00:12:14,244
It works, trust me.
375
00:12:14,245 --> 00:12:17,113
- What're you doing?
- Ah.
376
00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:18,447
What was that?
377
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,048
Sounds like somebody
faking a burglary!
378
00:12:20,049 --> 00:12:21,315
- Ah?
- Oh, man.
379
00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:22,517
I don't want to go to jail.
380
00:12:22,517 --> 00:12:23,817
No one is gonna go to jail.
381
00:12:23,818 --> 00:12:26,086
I will go upstairs
and I will smooth things over.
382
00:12:26,086 --> 00:12:27,553
I'm gonna go with you.
I'm gonna disarm him
383
00:12:27,554 --> 00:12:28,921
with my comedy.
384
00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:30,922
God, I left my whoopee cushion
at home.
385
00:12:30,923 --> 00:12:32,857
You know what?
When I sit down on the couch,
386
00:12:32,857 --> 00:12:34,578
go like this...
[blows raspberry]
387
00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:36,560
Mm... I'll go alone.
388
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:39,517
[mischievous music]
389
00:12:41,731 --> 00:12:42,964
Hey, man, I gotta talk.
390
00:12:42,964 --> 00:12:44,265
Words are just
building up inside of me,
391
00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:45,299
and they're gonna
come out somehow probably
392
00:12:45,299 --> 00:12:46,566
in a burp.
393
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:49,102
- Fine, talk about something.
- Thank God.
394
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,037
You know, the reason
I was excited to go to Miami
395
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:54,072
is that I needed some space
from this guy that...
396
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,606
What... no, I don't want
to hear about that.
397
00:12:55,606 --> 00:12:58,341
Guys don't like that.
When they break up with a girl,
398
00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,077
they wanna think
she closes up shop.
399
00:13:00,077 --> 00:13:01,610
Why?
I wouldn't mind hearing about
400
00:13:01,611 --> 00:13:03,846
- who you're dating.
- Yeah, right.
401
00:13:03,846 --> 00:13:05,413
No, really.
402
00:13:05,414 --> 00:13:08,260
Actually,
now you have to tell me.
403
00:13:09,783 --> 00:13:11,718
I really wanna hear.
404
00:13:14,353 --> 00:13:15,854
Uh...
405
00:13:15,854 --> 00:13:17,288
Come on.
406
00:13:17,289 --> 00:13:18,422
Are you sure?
407
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,324
Yeah, what else are we gonna do?
408
00:13:20,324 --> 00:13:22,659
I mean,
there wasn't really, you know,
409
00:13:22,659 --> 00:13:24,793
anything at first
because I was mainly focused
410
00:13:24,794 --> 00:13:26,361
on putting my life back together
411
00:13:26,361 --> 00:13:28,463
after the destruction you left
in your wake.
412
00:13:28,464 --> 00:13:31,032
Okay, guilt trip accepted.
413
00:13:31,032 --> 00:13:32,132
What happened after that?
414
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:35,069
Okay, if it's stories you want.
415
00:13:36,402 --> 00:13:40,171
- There was this one girl...
- Mm-hmm.
416
00:13:40,171 --> 00:13:42,172
Maxine.
She was cute.
417
00:13:42,173 --> 00:13:45,242
And she loved dark leafy greens
as much as I did.
418
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,777
We seemed like a real match,
419
00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,678
but then I looked her up online,
420
00:13:49,678 --> 00:13:51,745
and I found out
that her ex-husband was dead.
421
00:13:51,746 --> 00:13:53,047
So what?
I tell people your dead
422
00:13:53,047 --> 00:13:55,615
- all the time.
- No, this guy was poisoned.
423
00:13:55,616 --> 00:13:57,117
Killer never found.
424
00:13:57,117 --> 00:13:58,250
[quietly] Oh, my God.
425
00:13:58,251 --> 00:14:00,586
Yeah.
426
00:14:00,586 --> 00:14:02,386
So I just kept telling myself,
I said,
427
00:14:02,387 --> 00:14:04,722
"This is not an issue.
Don't be paranoid, Danny."
428
00:14:04,722 --> 00:14:05,889
429
00:14:05,890 --> 00:14:07,991
But then she gives me this soup,
430
00:14:07,991 --> 00:14:09,225
and I look down,
431
00:14:09,226 --> 00:14:10,793
and it's got white flecks in it.
432
00:14:10,793 --> 00:14:12,360
She said it was Parmesan,
433
00:14:12,361 --> 00:14:15,663
but Parmesan, so I came up
with a brilliant excuse.
434
00:14:15,663 --> 00:14:17,564
I gotta whiz.
435
00:14:17,564 --> 00:14:18,898
I go to the bathroom,
436
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,041
left out the fire escape.
437
00:14:21,041 --> 00:14:22,567
Check this out,
a month later, I see her, right?
438
00:14:22,568 --> 00:14:23,635
She's on a date
with another guy,
439
00:14:23,635 --> 00:14:25,035
who looks exactly like me,
440
00:14:25,036 --> 00:14:27,505
except he's pale, sickly,
like maybe he's been...
441
00:14:27,505 --> 00:14:28,838
Murdered.
He was a ghost.
442
00:14:28,839 --> 00:14:30,106
No... no.
443
00:14:30,106 --> 00:14:31,507
- Poisoned?
- Bingo.
444
00:14:31,508 --> 00:14:34,009
- That was a great story.
- Oh, thanks.
445
00:14:34,009 --> 00:14:35,743
Okay, tell me another.
446
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,411
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
447
00:14:37,411 --> 00:14:39,123
Okay...
448
00:14:39,124 --> 00:14:40,914
What's taking your brother
so long upstairs?
449
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,915
Maybe Mr. Horowitz
has a daughter
450
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,283
and Jody's sleeping with her.
451
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,851
That happened every time I lost
a Frisbee in a neighbors yard
452
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:48,119
and he'd go get it.
453
00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:49,653
If I had a Frisbee,
454
00:14:49,654 --> 00:14:51,822
I could also use it
as a dinner plate.
455
00:14:51,822 --> 00:14:53,222
Life hack.
456
00:14:53,223 --> 00:14:54,690
Do you think
there'll ever be a time
457
00:14:54,690 --> 00:14:56,491
when Dr. L forgives my brother?
458
00:14:56,492 --> 00:14:58,026
Honestly?
Probably not.
459
00:14:58,026 --> 00:15:00,060
She's very mean.
Also, don't tell anyone this,
460
00:15:00,061 --> 00:15:01,729
but there's been
a lot of sexual tension
461
00:15:01,729 --> 00:15:02,903
between me and her lately
462
00:15:02,904 --> 00:15:04,831
and I think people want to see
how it plays out.
463
00:15:04,831 --> 00:15:06,431
I don't think they are though.
464
00:15:06,432 --> 00:15:08,100
I've returned.
Both: Finally.
465
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:10,134
Well, the owner
of the apartment upstairs is
466
00:15:10,135 --> 00:15:12,103
no longer upset
about the hole in his floor.
467
00:15:12,103 --> 00:15:15,739
- Yes.
- Because...
468
00:15:15,739 --> 00:15:17,473
well, I am the new owner
of the apartment.
469
00:15:17,473 --> 00:15:19,707
I bought it for Mindy.
470
00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:21,843
Both: What?
471
00:15:21,843 --> 00:15:24,823
There was another girl
that was perfect for me
472
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:26,657
- in every way.
- Yeah, I know this one, me.
473
00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:27,780
- Next.
- No, not you.
474
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:29,814
Another girl, Gianna.
475
00:15:29,815 --> 00:15:32,951
Italian, liked the Yankees,
loved to exercise.
476
00:15:32,951 --> 00:15:34,718
- I mean, just loved it.
- Okay, you know what?
477
00:15:34,718 --> 00:15:36,586
That feels pointed,
and I'll have you know,
478
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:38,054
- I went running yesterday.
- Really?
479
00:15:38,054 --> 00:15:39,922
Yeah, my coat go caught
in the bus,
480
00:15:39,923 --> 00:15:42,124
and that bitch bus driver
wouldn't stop for four blocks.
481
00:15:42,124 --> 00:15:43,758
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
482
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:44,959
Oh, wow.
483
00:15:44,959 --> 00:15:46,359
So Gianna's not
the only athlete.
484
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,361
Okay.
One morning after she leaves,
485
00:15:48,361 --> 00:15:49,862
I'm on my laptop computer,
486
00:15:49,863 --> 00:15:52,264
she changed
my desktop screensaver
487
00:15:52,264 --> 00:15:55,200
from a picture of Leo
to a picture of her.
488
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,800
Oh, my God, ho did what?
489
00:15:56,801 --> 00:15:58,635
- I know, right?
- I'm assuming you had one
490
00:15:58,635 --> 00:16:00,436
of your Staten Island friends
take care of her.
491
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:02,972
No, no, no, we just did it
a couple more times,
492
00:16:02,972 --> 00:16:04,773
and then we broke up.
493
00:16:04,774 --> 00:16:07,209
I gotta tell you, Danny,
that story made me feel
494
00:16:07,209 --> 00:16:09,476
offended, outraged,
and vengeful,
495
00:16:09,476 --> 00:16:10,944
which are my three emotions.
496
00:16:10,945 --> 00:16:12,178
It wasn't that great.
497
00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:13,245
I'll tell you what's great.
498
00:16:13,246 --> 00:16:15,013
- These candy straws.
- No doy.
499
00:16:15,014 --> 00:16:16,248
I've only been telling you
for seven years.
500
00:16:16,248 --> 00:16:18,149
What about you?
Huh?
501
00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:19,650
Your turn.
Now you tell me something.
502
00:16:19,650 --> 00:16:21,484
No, no,
I'm not much of a talker.
503
00:16:21,485 --> 00:16:24,187
I'm... I'm more of,
like, a shy, pretty nun, so...
504
00:16:24,187 --> 00:16:26,223
Yeah, shy, pretty nun.
505
00:16:28,123 --> 00:16:29,857
I do have one story.
506
00:16:29,857 --> 00:16:32,359
It's about you.
507
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,894
Do you remember when I told you
that I didn't want to see you
508
00:16:34,895 --> 00:16:36,295
outside of handing off Leo?
509
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:38,374
Yeah.
Yeah, that hurt my feelings.
510
00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:41,800
Wh... it was only
because I was worried
511
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,802
that I would get
too attached to you,
512
00:16:44,802 --> 00:16:48,338
and I was right...
513
00:16:48,338 --> 00:16:49,638
because one time,
514
00:16:49,638 --> 00:16:52,718
I was coming out of getting
a bikini wax,
515
00:16:52,718 --> 00:16:54,874
when I saw you on the street.
516
00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:57,263
You were coming out of
that gay protein powder store
517
00:16:57,263 --> 00:16:58,611
- on Christopher Street.
- Oh, yeah.
518
00:16:58,612 --> 00:17:00,279
I get faster
customer service there.
519
00:17:00,279 --> 00:17:01,813
The boys all know me by name.
520
00:17:01,814 --> 00:17:03,581
And, for whatever reason,
521
00:17:03,581 --> 00:17:06,316
I decided to follow you.
522
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:07,650
Really?
You tailed me?
523
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:09,646
- What was I doing?
- Mostly boring stuff.
524
00:17:09,646 --> 00:17:11,286
I mean,
you bought a toy for Leo,
525
00:17:11,287 --> 00:17:13,288
you yelled
at two skateboarders...
526
00:17:13,288 --> 00:17:16,156
Wheels...
guys, come on!
527
00:17:16,156 --> 00:17:19,559
You picked a wedgie...
528
00:17:19,559 --> 00:17:21,279
- [car horn honks]
- Hold on a second.
529
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,227
But it was so fun
530
00:17:22,228 --> 00:17:23,829
watching you
531
00:17:23,829 --> 00:17:26,464
when you didn't think
anyone was looking,
532
00:17:26,464 --> 00:17:29,633
and it made me remember
why I loved you.
533
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:32,801
That's my story.
Was it good?
534
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:36,305
Yeah, that was, um...
535
00:17:36,304 --> 00:17:37,804
that was really good.
It was a little linear,
536
00:17:37,805 --> 00:17:39,373
- but I liked it.
- Yeah.
537
00:17:39,374 --> 00:17:40,841
Didn't it make me seem crazy?
538
00:17:40,841 --> 00:17:43,209
A little bit...
[both laugh]
539
00:17:43,209 --> 00:17:44,542
But that's good.
540
00:17:44,543 --> 00:17:46,911
I actually have a story
about you.
541
00:17:46,911 --> 00:17:48,012
You remember at Shulman's
542
00:17:48,013 --> 00:17:49,413
when I ran into you
in the elevator.
543
00:17:49,414 --> 00:17:51,356
Oh, yeah, that was so weird.
544
00:17:51,356 --> 00:17:52,885
I thought you were so senile,
545
00:17:52,886 --> 00:17:54,484
you just wandered
into your old work place, so...
546
00:17:54,484 --> 00:17:58,120
No, um, Jody, he, uh...
547
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,320
he sent you a letter...
a romantic one,
548
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,989
and it accidentally ended up
in my apartment,
549
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:06,020
and so I came to his office
550
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:07,326
and told him to back off.
551
00:18:07,326 --> 00:18:09,360
Oh, my God.
552
00:18:09,361 --> 00:18:11,729
- Jody sent me a letter?
- Yeah, but it wasn't good.
553
00:18:11,729 --> 00:18:13,830
It was, like,
a lot of scratch outs,
554
00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:15,932
it was on loose-leaf.
You don't need that.
555
00:18:19,001 --> 00:18:21,036
Did anything happen
between you guys?
556
00:18:21,036 --> 00:18:22,703
I thought you didn't want
to know about my love life?
557
00:18:22,704 --> 00:18:25,273
- I'm asking you a question.
- No.
558
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,174
We're not a good match.
559
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:30,208
Yeah...
[stammer]
560
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:31,209
I agree.
I just don't see it.
561
00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:32,376
He's too old.
562
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,039
You don't share
a frame of reference.
563
00:18:34,039 --> 00:18:35,278
Really?
Because you're, like,
564
00:18:35,279 --> 00:18:36,446
a million years old.
565
00:18:36,447 --> 00:18:37,614
You're basically
in black and white.
566
00:18:37,614 --> 00:18:41,383
[laughs]
Yeah, I'm younger than him.
567
00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:44,385
What about you?
Did anything ever get serious
568
00:18:44,385 --> 00:18:45,819
with the girls you were dating?
569
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:48,822
[Zayn's "Pillowtalk"]
570
00:18:48,822 --> 00:18:51,957
571
00:18:51,957 --> 00:18:53,792
Hi, I'm Sarah.
572
00:18:53,793 --> 00:18:55,193
573
00:18:55,193 --> 00:18:56,493
Danny?
574
00:18:56,494 --> 00:18:58,128
Danny,
what're you thinking about?
575
00:18:58,128 --> 00:19:00,863
576
00:19:00,864 --> 00:19:04,734
Climb on board
577
00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:06,668
We'll go slow and high tempo
578
00:19:10,728 --> 00:19:14,007
Wait, I'm sorry,
you bought her an apartment
579
00:19:14,007 --> 00:19:16,075
and you made me chip in
for the pizza?
580
00:19:16,075 --> 00:19:18,176
Well, you're the one
who wanted extra cheese.
581
00:19:18,176 --> 00:19:20,610
I just wanted to apologize
for what I did to her,
582
00:19:20,611 --> 00:19:21,990
and this seemed like
the best way.
583
00:19:21,990 --> 00:19:23,979
You slept
with our brother's wife
584
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:27,316
and all you gave him was
an Edible Arrangement.
585
00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:29,851
It might seem
a little irrational.
586
00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:32,553
I've just never felt so bad
about my behavior before.
587
00:19:32,553 --> 00:19:35,154
We're talking about Dr. L,
right?
588
00:19:35,154 --> 00:19:37,089
- Yes.
- Who is old,
589
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:39,224
who has a kid, very ethnic,
590
00:19:39,224 --> 00:19:41,192
isn't quiet, isn't Southern,
591
00:19:41,193 --> 00:19:43,728
isn't anything
you've ever liked before.
592
00:19:43,728 --> 00:19:45,929
Yeah.
593
00:19:45,929 --> 00:19:48,931
I... okay.
I'm on board.
594
00:19:48,931 --> 00:19:51,232
Really?
You think it's a good idea?
595
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,401
I don't know, but it's better
596
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,635
than any of the other ideas
you've ever had.
597
00:19:55,635 --> 00:19:57,803
I don't know,
I'm still on the fence.
598
00:19:57,804 --> 00:20:00,406
- I...
- Okay, we've got work to do.
599
00:20:00,406 --> 00:20:01,806
- Sure, yeah, okay.
- Let's go.
600
00:20:01,807 --> 00:20:03,541
[stammers]
601
00:20:03,541 --> 00:20:06,510
[soft music]
602
00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:09,412
603
00:20:09,412 --> 00:20:11,780
What do you think this means?
604
00:20:11,781 --> 00:20:14,750
[quietly] I don't know,
605
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:17,651
but it was really nice.
606
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,152
Really?
I hated it.
607
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:20,906
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
608
00:20:20,907 --> 00:20:21,553
- You hated it?
- I was like...
609
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,389
- [grumbles]
- Yeah?
610
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,590
[giggles] J/K, J/K.
611
00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:28,125
- Oh, finally.
- What time is it?
612
00:20:28,126 --> 00:20:29,359
Yeah, we're fine.
613
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:30,626
We'll just pick
these wrappers up, all right?
614
00:20:30,627 --> 00:20:32,895
- Oh, good morning, sir.
- Oh, good morning, sir.
615
00:20:32,895 --> 00:20:35,163
It only took you an eternity
to find us.
616
00:20:35,164 --> 00:20:37,098
Luckily I had this hot man
to have sex with.
617
00:20:37,098 --> 00:20:38,168
Stop.
Thank you, sir.
618
00:20:38,169 --> 00:20:41,268
Thank you
for helping us out here.
619
00:20:41,268 --> 00:20:43,202
You might want to watch out
for that coffee cup.
620
00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:44,770
We've been in here for awhile.
621
00:20:44,771 --> 00:20:46,271
[Jeremih's "Impatient"]
622
00:20:46,271 --> 00:20:48,355
Know your city
what you're used to
623
00:20:48,356 --> 00:20:51,242
Know I ain't
exactly what you're used to
624
00:20:51,242 --> 00:20:54,244
Know you're prolly worried
what I'm used to
625
00:20:54,244 --> 00:20:56,645
I don't blame you
what you s'posed to
626
00:20:56,645 --> 00:20:59,313
Last time we fucked
like it was all night
627
00:20:59,314 --> 00:21:02,157
Now you got me
thinkin' 'bout you all night
628
00:21:02,157 --> 00:21:04,998
Me and you
seemed like it'd be all right
629
00:21:05,117 --> 00:21:07,420
Long as we can
keep it all night
630
00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:10,329
Cup full yeah I'm on
631
00:21:10,329 --> 00:21:12,859
Poured up she ready
632
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:13,891
Hey, Danny?
633
00:21:13,891 --> 00:21:15,725
Yeah?
634
00:21:15,726 --> 00:21:17,084
I love you.
635
00:21:17,084 --> 00:21:18,260
I love you too.
636
00:21:18,261 --> 00:21:20,762
Tree leaf a little O
637
00:21:20,762 --> 00:21:23,364
You know I'm faded
638
00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:26,032
Heart shaped and I love that
639
00:21:26,033 --> 00:21:27,967
Come here I'm down with it
640
00:21:27,967 --> 00:21:30,836
I can't
641
00:21:30,836 --> 00:21:36,240
I can't keep
my eyes off your face
642
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:41,545
Let alone
talk 'bout your body
643
00:21:41,544 --> 00:21:44,879
I been waiting for so long
644
00:21:44,879 --> 00:21:46,046
Well, hello.
645
00:21:46,047 --> 00:21:48,510
[screams] Oh, my God.
646
00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:50,917
- Oh.
- Oh, my God.
647
00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:54,286
[exhales]
Jody, what're you doing here?
648
00:21:54,286 --> 00:21:57,822
Hey, where's my artsy staircase?
649
00:21:57,822 --> 00:22:00,657
I bought that from
a gay man's estate sale.
650
00:22:00,657 --> 00:22:03,258
No, it was junk,
and I threw it away,
651
00:22:03,259 --> 00:22:05,394
but don't worry, I replaced it
with something better.
652
00:22:05,394 --> 00:22:08,396
[soft music]
653
00:22:08,396 --> 00:22:11,965
654
00:22:11,965 --> 00:22:13,432
Is that Narnia?
I don't wanna go.
655
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:14,633
It's for nerds.
Seal it up.
656
00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:17,822
Come with me.
Come on.
657
00:22:17,822 --> 00:22:21,205
658
00:22:21,205 --> 00:22:23,206
It's okay.
659
00:22:23,207 --> 00:22:26,042
660
00:22:26,042 --> 00:22:28,743
Oh, my God,
we should not be up here.
661
00:22:28,743 --> 00:22:30,811
This is where
old man Horowitz lives.
662
00:22:30,812 --> 00:22:32,513
He's so mean.
He always screams at me
663
00:22:32,513 --> 00:22:34,080
when I laugh too loud
at "Family Guy."
664
00:22:34,081 --> 00:22:35,248
He won't yell at you anymore.
665
00:22:35,248 --> 00:22:36,281
He's dead?
Thank God.
666
00:22:36,282 --> 00:22:38,450
No... please, shut up.
667
00:22:38,450 --> 00:22:40,418
He won't be yelling at you
because he's moving out.
668
00:22:40,419 --> 00:22:42,119
Now, close your eyes.
669
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:43,186
What?
No.
670
00:22:43,187 --> 00:22:45,155
Yeah, just... please,
just close your eyes.
671
00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:46,622
- I don't want to.
- For a minute for me.
672
00:22:46,623 --> 00:22:48,491
- Okay.
- Pretend.
673
00:22:48,491 --> 00:22:50,725
- Okay.
- Now, imagine, Mindy,
674
00:22:50,726 --> 00:22:52,760
if this whole place was yours.
675
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,929
You had all the space
in the world for little Leo.
676
00:22:55,929 --> 00:22:59,601
677
00:23:02,667 --> 00:23:05,129
Oh, my God.
678
00:23:05,870 --> 00:23:07,270
You could turn
this into the room
679
00:23:07,271 --> 00:23:10,329
every little boy's
overbearing mom dreams of.
680
00:23:12,007 --> 00:23:14,242
For as long
as I've known you, Mindy,
681
00:23:14,243 --> 00:23:15,510
I've seen you
put the needs of others
682
00:23:15,510 --> 00:23:17,143
- before yourself.
- Really?
683
00:23:17,144 --> 00:23:19,545
No one's ever said that.
684
00:23:19,545 --> 00:23:21,714
Your boy deserves more
than to sleep in a closet,
685
00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:23,948
and up here, he'll have
all the room he needs
686
00:23:23,949 --> 00:23:25,917
to play and do his homework.
687
00:23:25,917 --> 00:23:28,318
And space to shoot his videos
when he becomes a Vine star.
688
00:23:28,319 --> 00:23:30,687
Sure,
and he'll know his mother is
689
00:23:30,687 --> 00:23:32,421
right downstairs
if he needs her,
690
00:23:32,421 --> 00:23:34,623
where she'll have
a special place of her own.
691
00:23:34,624 --> 00:23:36,491
[gasps] A walk-in meat locker?
692
00:23:36,491 --> 00:23:38,559
No.
With Leo upstairs,
693
00:23:38,559 --> 00:23:40,796
your closet can go back
to what it does best:
694
00:23:40,797 --> 00:23:44,464
- Holding your junk.
- Oh, my sweet, sweet junk.
695
00:23:44,464 --> 00:23:48,600
Because it's time someone
takes care of you for a change.
696
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,835
- Whoa.
- Can you picture that, Mindy?
697
00:23:50,835 --> 00:23:54,571
- [sighs]
- [laughs]
698
00:23:54,571 --> 00:23:56,505
Jody, what have you done?
699
00:23:56,505 --> 00:23:57,805
I can't afford this place.
700
00:23:57,806 --> 00:23:59,407
I need to be saving up
for my retirement.
701
00:23:59,407 --> 00:24:01,308
There is no way that Leo's gonna
support me when I'm old.
702
00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:02,809
His bitch wife is gonna hate me.
703
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:05,371
No, no, no, I bought it for you.
704
00:24:07,979 --> 00:24:09,648
Ah, don't... don't
look at me like that.
705
00:24:09,648 --> 00:24:11,582
It... it's a normal thing to do
706
00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:14,985
if you're, you know... you want
to apologize to someone.
707
00:24:14,985 --> 00:24:16,753
- Is it?
- I've done it before
708
00:24:16,753 --> 00:24:20,522
for someone I might possibly,
709
00:24:20,522 --> 00:24:23,824
against my better judgment,
710
00:24:23,824 --> 00:24:25,825
be in love with.
711
00:24:25,826 --> 00:24:27,060
[soft music]
712
00:24:27,060 --> 00:24:28,827
[quietly] Holy shit.
713
00:24:28,828 --> 00:24:31,797
[Amy Winehouse's
"Back to Black"]
714
00:24:31,797 --> 00:24:39,738
715
00:24:42,968 --> 00:24:45,395
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
716
00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:51,045
He left no time to regret
717
00:24:51,044 --> 00:24:54,279
Kept his dick wet
718
00:24:54,279 --> 00:24:58,949
With his same old safe bet
719
00:24:58,949 --> 00:25:01,051
720
00:25:01,051 --> 00:25:05,190
We only said good-bye
with words
721
00:25:05,190 --> 00:25:09,023
I died a hundred times
722
00:25:09,023 --> 00:25:11,625
You go back to her
723
00:25:11,625 --> 00:25:15,929
And I go back to
724
00:25:15,979 --> 00:25:20,529
Repair and Synchronization by
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