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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,688 --> 00:00:04,351 Hola, gringas. 2 00:00:04,342 --> 00:00:05,712 The bitch is back. 3 00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:08,383 I have returned from my journey of self re-discovery 4 00:00:08,368 --> 00:00:10,088 in the Lone Star state. 5 00:00:10,079 --> 00:00:11,287 And you know what? 6 00:00:11,281 --> 00:00:12,450 I think I'm gonna start saying "y'all." 7 00:00:12,444 --> 00:00:14,313 And I'll definitely be spitting. 8 00:00:14,303 --> 00:00:16,332 - Join the club. - Oh, before I forget... 9 00:00:16,321 --> 00:00:19,300 I got you guys all authentically Texas gifts. 10 00:00:19,284 --> 00:00:20,283 [cheering] 11 00:00:20,278 --> 00:00:21,769 - Beverly, neck pillow. - Ooh. 12 00:00:21,761 --> 00:00:23,418 Oh, my God. 13 00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:26,269 Jeremy, a real Texas treat... "The Lovely Bones." 14 00:00:26,253 --> 00:00:28,282 I do suspect that you bought all these gifts 15 00:00:28,271 --> 00:00:29,601 at the Austin airport. 16 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,382 That's not true. 17 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,267 I got some of them on the airplane. 18 00:00:32,257 --> 00:00:34,156 - For you, my friend. - "Takeoff" magazine? 19 00:00:34,146 --> 00:00:36,175 Harry Connick Jr.'s New Orleans? 20 00:00:36,164 --> 00:00:37,333 Look at this. [hums] 21 00:00:37,327 --> 00:00:39,376 I already did the crossword puzzle, so don't try to. 22 00:00:39,365 --> 00:00:42,701 - Okay. - Hey, um, is Jody here? 23 00:00:42,683 --> 00:00:43,909 Courtney made brownies, everybody! 24 00:00:43,903 --> 00:00:44,734 Oh! 25 00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:46,557 Dig in. 26 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,256 Courtney. Who Courtney? 27 00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:49,602 Dr. K's new girlfriend. 28 00:00:49,595 --> 00:00:52,408 Finally, a couple we can all root for. 29 00:00:52,392 --> 00:00:54,606 You have a girlfriend? 30 00:00:54,594 --> 00:00:55,807 I've only been gone a week. 31 00:00:55,801 --> 00:00:57,938 Usually, you move so slow. 32 00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:00,736 When you tell a story, I have to take, like, five pee breaks. 33 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,742 Oh, my God, Dr. K, tell how you two met. 34 00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:05,016 I love it, and not just 'cause I'm up for a raise. 35 00:01:05,004 --> 00:01:06,023 I was at the gym. 36 00:01:06,018 --> 00:01:07,558 I had just gotten off the treadmill, 37 00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:09,765 and she said, "Are you done using that?" 38 00:01:09,753 --> 00:01:11,308 And I said, "Yes." 39 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,146 Well, let's just say, uh, she never got on that treadmill. 40 00:01:13,136 --> 00:01:15,831 - [laughter] - Oh! 41 00:01:15,816 --> 00:01:17,989 Why can't something like that happen to me at ballet barre? 42 00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:19,330 That's it? That's the whole story? 43 00:01:19,323 --> 00:01:21,800 It's nice having an adult relationship for a change. 44 00:01:21,787 --> 00:01:23,291 Why, on Sunday morning, we actually went out 45 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,875 for a breakfast lunch. 46 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:25,986 I had eggs, she had a burger. 47 00:01:25,980 --> 00:01:27,849 The same meal... can you imagine? 48 00:01:27,839 --> 00:01:29,948 Well, you seem really happy. Good for you. 49 00:01:29,937 --> 00:01:31,168 Thank you, Mindy. 50 00:01:31,161 --> 00:01:32,457 Hey, what's that? 51 00:01:32,451 --> 00:01:34,072 Oh, nothing. 52 00:01:34,063 --> 00:01:36,242 Dr. L, Princeton student affairs called for you, 53 00:01:36,231 --> 00:01:37,257 they need you to call them back. 54 00:01:37,252 --> 00:01:39,194 Oh, no. I know what this is about. 55 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,821 They figured out that I was the streaker at reunion. 56 00:01:41,807 --> 00:01:43,776 I'm toast, Tamra. I'm toast! 57 00:01:43,765 --> 00:01:46,160 [hip-hop music] 58 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:48,351 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 59 00:01:51,106 --> 00:01:53,659 Guys, I have some huge news. 60 00:01:53,645 --> 00:01:55,766 I just got off the phone with Princeton University, 61 00:01:55,754 --> 00:01:56,793 my alma mater... 62 00:01:56,788 --> 00:01:59,321 All right, braggy, we get it, you have a phone. 63 00:01:59,307 --> 00:02:01,276 And they have invited us to do a "Later, Baby" 64 00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:03,015 presentation on campus. 65 00:02:03,005 --> 00:02:05,650 Oh, our first Ivy. Hot damn. 66 00:02:05,636 --> 00:02:07,416 They are the perfect demo for the egg freezing. 67 00:02:07,406 --> 00:02:09,784 Smart, careerist girls who consider science 68 00:02:09,771 --> 00:02:11,405 their boyfriend. 69 00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:12,611 So this Saturday, the three of us 70 00:02:12,605 --> 00:02:14,854 are making my triumphant return to Princeton. 71 00:02:14,842 --> 00:02:17,781 Oh, did you say this Saturday? 72 00:02:17,764 --> 00:02:19,767 If that's the case, I can't go. 73 00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:20,672 What? You can't come? 74 00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:22,596 How many derbies are there, for God's sake? 75 00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:23,665 No, it's not that. 76 00:02:23,659 --> 00:02:25,628 Courtney made an appointment with an allergist 77 00:02:25,618 --> 00:02:27,607 in central New York, and we were gonna 78 00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:28,655 make a weekend of it, you know. 79 00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:29,669 Hey, man, you have to come. 80 00:02:29,664 --> 00:02:31,533 We're gonna get more patients from this 81 00:02:31,523 --> 00:02:33,452 than that time that we did that radio jingle. 82 00:02:33,442 --> 00:02:34,857 You know, where you were playing the frozen egg? 83 00:02:34,849 --> 00:02:36,562 - "I'm chill, baby." - Ugh. 84 00:02:36,553 --> 00:02:38,652 This is gonna be our first weekend getaway. 85 00:02:38,641 --> 00:02:41,666 I've been practicing ukulele for the rowboat ride. 86 00:02:41,649 --> 00:02:43,502 Hey, man, we all have to break plans sometimes. 87 00:02:43,492 --> 00:02:44,631 You know, when I went to your school, 88 00:02:44,626 --> 00:02:47,375 it actually sped up the demise of my relationship 89 00:02:47,359 --> 00:02:48,837 with the father of my son, so... 90 00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:50,480 Exactly, I wouldn't want something like that 91 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,470 to happen again. 92 00:02:51,465 --> 00:02:53,239 - So, I'm sorry. - What? 93 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:54,894 - Are you...? - Actually, I can't go, either. 94 00:02:54,885 --> 00:02:56,293 Because I'm gonna meet my biological father... 95 00:02:56,286 --> 00:02:57,596 You have to come. 96 00:02:57,589 --> 00:02:59,348 I'm in. 97 00:02:59,339 --> 00:03:01,288 I cannot believe Jody. 98 00:03:01,277 --> 00:03:02,753 Just because you get a girlfriend, 99 00:03:02,746 --> 00:03:04,368 doesn't mean that you completely bail on all your 100 00:03:04,359 --> 00:03:05,818 professional responsibilities. 101 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,085 No, you don't. 102 00:03:07,078 --> 00:03:09,312 You know, when I dated Tamra, I didn't skip out on work. 103 00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:10,299 - Thank you. - Yeah. 104 00:03:10,294 --> 00:03:11,433 We would have sex in the office. 105 00:03:11,427 --> 00:03:12,670 The kitchen. 106 00:03:12,664 --> 00:03:14,486 - Your office. - What? 107 00:03:14,476 --> 00:03:17,283 Uh, Jody's... that's inappropriate, Jody. 108 00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:19,322 And you know what? I don't even think Jody knows what he wants. 109 00:03:19,311 --> 00:03:21,061 - Mm-mm. - Can I tell you a secret? 110 00:03:21,052 --> 00:03:21,839 Yeah. 111 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,395 Before I went to Texas... 112 00:03:23,387 --> 00:03:25,988 Jody and I had a weird moment on my couch. 113 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,350 - Hmm. - I think I have to show you. 114 00:03:27,343 --> 00:03:28,592 - Okay. - Okay, come sit here. 115 00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:31,087 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 116 00:03:31,073 --> 00:03:32,350 All right. 117 00:03:32,344 --> 00:03:36,183 You be me, and I'm Jody. 118 00:03:36,161 --> 00:03:38,310 - I fell asleep. - Oh. 119 00:03:38,299 --> 00:03:39,308 [snores] 120 00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:40,332 Exactly. 121 00:03:40,327 --> 00:03:42,336 Then Jody took a blanket and he laid it on me. 122 00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:44,224 Mm, I don't know why this is weird. 123 00:03:44,214 --> 00:03:46,293 - This is just, like, nice. - Okay, but then he did this. 124 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:54,227 [gasps] 125 00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:55,377 Do you think it meant anything? 126 00:03:55,371 --> 00:03:56,197 [gasps] 127 00:03:56,193 --> 00:03:58,172 I mean, isn't that really emotional and weird? 128 00:03:58,161 --> 00:04:00,339 Nope. No, it doesn't mean anything. 129 00:04:00,328 --> 00:04:02,448 I don't know, it felt kind of romantic. 130 00:04:02,436 --> 00:04:03,420 It's not romantic. 131 00:04:03,415 --> 00:04:04,320 There's nothing romantic about it. 132 00:04:04,316 --> 00:04:06,599 God, you're such a narcissist. Don't even worry about it. 133 00:04:06,587 --> 00:04:07,901 - [whimpers] - Okay, can we just... 134 00:04:07,894 --> 00:04:09,595 No, stop it, don't touch it! Don't touch it. 135 00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:10,903 - I have to go to the bathroom. - What? 136 00:04:10,896 --> 00:04:12,895 And I might need to borrow some pants. 137 00:04:12,884 --> 00:04:13,953 - Can I have my blanket back? - No! 138 00:04:13,948 --> 00:04:14,967 It's my blanket now. 139 00:04:14,962 --> 00:04:16,121 So you don't think it meant anything? 140 00:04:16,115 --> 00:04:17,974 Nope! 141 00:04:19,913 --> 00:04:22,407 Mindy, I wanted to talk to you about this weekend. 142 00:04:22,393 --> 00:04:23,606 Whatever. 143 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,688 Go have a fun bang-cation with Courtney. 144 00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:27,265 I'm excited to present alone, because this way, 145 00:04:27,257 --> 00:04:29,009 you can't stop me from doing my parody song, 146 00:04:28,999 --> 00:04:30,768 "Ain't too Proud to Egg." 147 00:04:30,759 --> 00:04:32,307 Actually, Courtney and I were discussing it 148 00:04:32,299 --> 00:04:34,025 last night, post-coitally... 149 00:04:34,016 --> 00:04:34,909 Why add that? 150 00:04:34,904 --> 00:04:37,137 And she thinks it would be best if I go to Princeton. 151 00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:38,780 Oh, my God, that's so great. 152 00:04:38,772 --> 00:04:39,781 Tell Courtney thank you. 153 00:04:39,776 --> 00:04:40,835 Well, tell her yourself. 154 00:04:40,829 --> 00:04:42,728 She's postponed her allergy appointment 155 00:04:42,718 --> 00:04:44,687 and she's coming with us. 156 00:04:44,677 --> 00:04:46,332 Oh. She is? 157 00:04:46,323 --> 00:04:47,910 I'm so excited for you two to meet. 158 00:04:47,902 --> 00:04:49,739 You have so much in common. You're both women. 159 00:04:49,729 --> 00:04:52,103 You can talk about dresses and matinee idols 160 00:04:52,090 --> 00:04:53,218 and sewing. 161 00:04:53,212 --> 00:04:54,645 Okay, sure, yeah. 162 00:04:54,638 --> 00:04:56,138 I'm just happy that you're coming. 163 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,618 I've never been to New Jersey. 164 00:04:57,610 --> 00:04:59,679 It'll bring me one step closer to visiting all 50 states. 165 00:04:59,668 --> 00:05:01,577 And having sex in all of them. 166 00:05:04,366 --> 00:05:05,649 Let's put on some tunes. 167 00:05:05,643 --> 00:05:07,187 Oh, is there a Weird Al station? 168 00:05:07,179 --> 00:05:08,533 No, no, please don't touch the radio. 169 00:05:08,526 --> 00:05:10,494 It's a voice-activated, and it's very nice. 170 00:05:10,483 --> 00:05:12,111 Don't touch anything! Please. 171 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,674 If you could just hover above your seat, that would be best. 172 00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:15,604 I put down butcher paper like you asked me to! 173 00:05:15,594 --> 00:05:16,763 - [sneezes] - Oh, my God! 174 00:05:16,757 --> 00:05:18,756 - What was that? - Oh, it's her sneeze. 175 00:05:18,745 --> 00:05:20,524 Isn't it cute? 176 00:05:20,515 --> 00:05:22,734 I'm sorry, I have just really bad allergies. 177 00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:24,641 Oh, poor baby. 178 00:05:24,631 --> 00:05:26,440 Isn't she brave? 179 00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:28,449 Canceling her allergist appointment to come with us 180 00:05:28,438 --> 00:05:29,517 for moral support. 181 00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:30,326 - [sneezes] - Oh, my...! 182 00:05:30,322 --> 00:05:31,546 Hey, are you drunk right now? 183 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,186 That sneeze was like a gunshot, so I swerved a little bit. 184 00:05:34,171 --> 00:05:35,433 It's not about the sneeze. 185 00:05:35,427 --> 00:05:37,792 - It's about how you handle it. - You're fine. 186 00:05:37,779 --> 00:05:39,442 Wow, that's quite a sneeze, Courtney. 187 00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:41,352 And it has to be that loud, right? 188 00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:43,057 Better out than in, as they say. 189 00:05:43,048 --> 00:05:45,046 Mindy, did you know Courtney also grew up in Boston? 190 00:05:45,035 --> 00:05:46,429 What? Oh, my God. 191 00:05:46,422 --> 00:05:49,828 Nomar! Yankees suck! "Spotlight"! 192 00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:51,799 Racism! 193 00:05:51,788 --> 00:05:52,529 Sorry, I'm sorry. 194 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,295 What part of town are you from? 195 00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:55,122 Uh, Winchendon. 196 00:05:55,118 --> 00:05:56,831 Oh. 197 00:05:56,822 --> 00:05:59,040 Do you not know that part of town or something, Mindy? 198 00:05:59,028 --> 00:06:01,267 No, Winchendon isn't exactly Boston. 199 00:06:01,254 --> 00:06:02,353 It's basically in New Hampshire. 200 00:06:02,348 --> 00:06:04,500 Well, Winchendon is in Massachusetts. 201 00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:05,737 - Technically it is. - Yeah. 202 00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:08,040 The way that Brad Pitt is technically an Oscar winner. 203 00:06:08,027 --> 00:06:09,627 - As a producer. - Mm-mm, doesn't count. 204 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,128 What do you do for a living? 205 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,605 Oh, I'm currently on a lawsuit. 206 00:06:12,597 --> 00:06:13,594 Oh, you're a lawyer? 207 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:17,261 No, I'm suing my former employer for sexual harassment. 208 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,753 So waiting for a settlement is your job? 209 00:06:19,739 --> 00:06:21,104 I would love to get on that train, 210 00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:23,216 because I am constantly sexually harassed by my employers, 211 00:06:23,205 --> 00:06:24,334 and I am made to feel like a piece of... 212 00:06:24,328 --> 00:06:25,099 [sneezes] 213 00:06:25,096 --> 00:06:26,353 [tires squealing] Oh, God! 214 00:06:26,346 --> 00:06:28,663 Okay, you know what? Pull over. 215 00:06:28,651 --> 00:06:30,062 I don't want to die, I'm sorry. I'm not dying in this car. 216 00:06:30,054 --> 00:06:31,143 What? Dying in this car with me would be better 217 00:06:31,138 --> 00:06:32,938 than your current life. 218 00:06:32,928 --> 00:06:35,046 I never thought I'd say this, but a woman of Asian heritage 219 00:06:35,035 --> 00:06:36,084 is a bad driver. 220 00:06:36,079 --> 00:06:38,148 I agree with that in theory, but not me. 221 00:06:38,137 --> 00:06:39,862 - I am the exception. - Pull over, please. 222 00:06:39,852 --> 00:06:41,357 That's it. I'm jumping out. 223 00:06:45,006 --> 00:06:48,250 Wow. Guys, I cannot believe this. 224 00:06:48,232 --> 00:06:49,371 The last time I was on this stage, 225 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,518 it was senior week, and a hypnotist made me think 226 00:06:51,507 --> 00:06:52,977 I was a chicken and I took my clothes off. 227 00:06:52,969 --> 00:06:54,209 He didn't ask me to. 228 00:06:54,203 --> 00:06:55,921 I always knew I'd end up in the Ivys. 229 00:06:55,912 --> 00:06:57,911 I thought it would be as some kind of study cadaver, 230 00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:58,909 but this is good, too. 231 00:06:58,904 --> 00:07:00,396 It is excellent work, Mindy. 232 00:07:00,388 --> 00:07:01,924 Now that we've gotten into Princeton, 233 00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:03,875 all the other Ivys are gonna be lining up 234 00:07:03,865 --> 00:07:05,094 like city councilmen at a cathouse. 235 00:07:05,087 --> 00:07:07,116 - [laughs] - Hey. 236 00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:08,875 What're you guys doing in here? 237 00:07:08,865 --> 00:07:11,014 Only returning to my alma mater triumphantly 238 00:07:11,002 --> 00:07:12,911 to change the lives of young women. 239 00:07:12,901 --> 00:07:15,060 And I saw a sign for auditions for "Spring Awakening." 240 00:07:15,049 --> 00:07:16,888 - And I might try out. - That's great. 241 00:07:16,878 --> 00:07:19,503 We have this room today for a football recruiting session. 242 00:07:19,488 --> 00:07:21,791 - Uh, football recruiting? - Huh? 243 00:07:21,779 --> 00:07:23,848 I didn't know that Princeton recruited for football. 244 00:07:23,837 --> 00:07:25,766 I thought they just accepted whatever nerds 245 00:07:25,755 --> 00:07:27,804 wandered onto the field with their heads in a math book. 246 00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:29,802 - Oh! - Excuse me! 247 00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:32,741 This is a Division One football team, little lady. 248 00:07:32,724 --> 00:07:34,893 We only allow athletes that can run a ten minute mile, 249 00:07:34,881 --> 00:07:37,078 or whose parents donate a building. 250 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:39,808 Uh, sir, if I may, I think I understand. 251 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,347 I, too, am a man of sport. 252 00:07:41,339 --> 00:07:43,822 I was captain of my high school line dancing team. 253 00:07:43,809 --> 00:07:45,858 But I'm afraid we have this auditorium reserved today. 254 00:07:45,847 --> 00:07:47,636 Yeah. 255 00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:49,675 But you might want to check your confirmation email. 256 00:07:49,664 --> 00:07:50,753 Relax, guys, these jockstraps 257 00:07:50,748 --> 00:07:52,747 obviously don't know how to read a calendar. 258 00:07:52,736 --> 00:07:54,834 So... oh, there it is. 259 00:07:54,823 --> 00:07:57,673 Confirmation: Richardson Auditorium, May 2. 260 00:07:57,657 --> 00:08:00,616 - 2017. - Wait, what? 261 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,729 Oh, look at that, you did reserve this auditorium 262 00:08:02,717 --> 00:08:03,766 for the right day. 263 00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:05,560 Right day next year. 264 00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:06,649 [laughs nervously] 265 00:08:06,644 --> 00:08:07,683 I can't stay here for a year. 266 00:08:07,678 --> 00:08:10,076 I only brought enough clothes for six months. 267 00:08:10,063 --> 00:08:11,626 Oh, shit. 268 00:08:15,098 --> 00:08:16,683 Guys, I'm really sorry. 269 00:08:16,675 --> 00:08:18,504 I think what happened, was that I got too excited, 270 00:08:18,494 --> 00:08:19,332 and I forgot to double-check... 271 00:08:19,328 --> 00:08:20,528 No excuses. 272 00:08:20,522 --> 00:08:22,391 Not only is this very unprofessional, 273 00:08:22,381 --> 00:08:24,420 but I had to cancel my romantic getaway with Courtney. 274 00:08:24,409 --> 00:08:26,418 We were gonna unwind, and now I am as wound 275 00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:27,486 - as I have ever been. - I'm so sorry. 276 00:08:27,481 --> 00:08:29,600 Okay, you're being very disrespectful of my time. 277 00:08:29,588 --> 00:08:32,397 I could have just stayed home and do what I do every weekend... 278 00:08:32,382 --> 00:08:34,371 stare at the wall and wait for Monday. 279 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:35,830 I'm gonna fix this. 280 00:08:35,823 --> 00:08:37,491 I'm gonna fix this, okay? 281 00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:39,152 Hey. 282 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:40,648 - Hi, there. - Yes? 283 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,266 My name is Dr. Mindy Lahiri. 284 00:08:43,252 --> 00:08:44,507 Head Coach Drew Schakowsky. 285 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,409 I am here for a critical women's health issue. 286 00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:49,452 And I think we can both agree that's way more important 287 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,420 than a bunch of fat guys playing grab-ass. 288 00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:53,269 This is Ivy League football, okay? 289 00:08:53,259 --> 00:08:55,238 If I don't get those players to sign a commitment 290 00:08:55,227 --> 00:08:57,992 to the team now, I could lose them to the Quiz Bowl 291 00:08:57,977 --> 00:08:59,320 or Gilbert and Sullivan Society. 292 00:08:59,313 --> 00:09:00,442 Okay, you're a jock. 293 00:09:00,436 --> 00:09:03,175 I know what you want. 294 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,199 I will let you touch them for five seconds. 295 00:09:06,182 --> 00:09:07,181 - One... - Wait, I know you. 296 00:09:07,176 --> 00:09:08,195 Two. Hmm? 297 00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:09,971 Did we go to school here together? 298 00:09:09,962 --> 00:09:12,045 Oh, that's not possible. I'm much younger than you. 299 00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:13,891 You used to do work study at Butler dining hall. 300 00:09:13,881 --> 00:09:15,446 You're the one who used to eat all the French fries 301 00:09:15,438 --> 00:09:17,630 off of people's plates before you'd serve them. 302 00:09:17,618 --> 00:09:19,244 Sorry I swiped a couple fries off of a rich kid's plate. 303 00:09:19,235 --> 00:09:21,274 I was on so much financial aid, I got paid to get shocked 304 00:09:21,263 --> 00:09:23,072 by the psych department. 305 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,032 - That's why I'm like this! - Hey, listen, I get it. 306 00:09:25,021 --> 00:09:26,836 I had some crazy financial aid myself. 307 00:09:26,826 --> 00:09:28,289 I mean, the whole time I was on the football team, 308 00:09:28,282 --> 00:09:29,991 I had to be the mascot, too. 309 00:09:29,982 --> 00:09:32,031 - You were the tiger? - Yeah. 310 00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:33,259 I think I dry-humped you once on a dare. 311 00:09:33,252 --> 00:09:35,081 See? I knew you looked familiar. 312 00:09:35,072 --> 00:09:36,151 - [laughs] - Hello? 313 00:09:36,145 --> 00:09:37,974 Are we any closer to booking a venue, 314 00:09:37,965 --> 00:09:39,974 or are we just gonna stroll down memory lane all day? 315 00:09:39,963 --> 00:09:40,992 [laughs] 316 00:09:40,987 --> 00:09:42,166 [whispering] Guys, I am mesmerizing him 317 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,159 with my sexy charm. 318 00:09:43,154 --> 00:09:44,913 Just give me a second, okay? 319 00:09:44,904 --> 00:09:46,033 Okay, well, we're gonna keep packing. 320 00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:48,036 Shut up! 321 00:09:48,025 --> 00:09:49,954 [thudding] 322 00:09:51,912 --> 00:09:53,061 Sweetie, I'm so sorry. 323 00:09:53,055 --> 00:09:54,924 But if we leave now, we can still salvage 324 00:09:54,914 --> 00:09:55,963 our romantic weekend. 325 00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:57,987 We'll pretend my apartment's the B&B. 326 00:09:57,976 --> 00:10:00,015 I'll have some Germans who'll have breakfast with us. 327 00:10:00,004 --> 00:10:01,973 Okay. I guess. 328 00:10:01,963 --> 00:10:03,852 Hey, guys. I am really sorry. 329 00:10:03,842 --> 00:10:05,851 This was the most embarrassing thing to happen to me 330 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,434 on this campus, and my underwear fell off 331 00:10:07,426 --> 00:10:08,698 at commencement. 332 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,011 Look, what's done is done. 333 00:10:10,004 --> 00:10:11,604 Let's just... let's get out of here. 334 00:10:11,596 --> 00:10:13,236 Maybe on the way back, we can stop on the Pizza Hut 335 00:10:13,227 --> 00:10:14,151 side of the rest stop? 336 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,098 - Doesn't that sound good? - Mindy. 337 00:10:15,093 --> 00:10:16,631 I know, let me take care of this. 338 00:10:16,623 --> 00:10:18,371 Okay, yes. I did it, all right? 339 00:10:18,362 --> 00:10:21,234 I intentionally sat on one of your footballs and destroyed it. 340 00:10:21,218 --> 00:10:22,215 What? No. 341 00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:24,198 I was just talking with the guys, 342 00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:26,007 and we decided, since it's such a nice day out, 343 00:10:25,997 --> 00:10:28,007 we'll just take the recruiting session out to the stadium. 344 00:10:27,996 --> 00:10:30,196 I thought you needed the auditorium to show your highlights reel? 345 00:10:30,184 --> 00:10:32,543 Oh, no, no. I mean, it's better if we don't, anyway. 346 00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:33,926 The only team we beat was Columbia last year, 347 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,346 and that was only because half their team 348 00:10:35,339 --> 00:10:36,828 was off for the high holidays. 349 00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:37,736 You're gonna give us the auditorium 350 00:10:37,732 --> 00:10:38,731 to do our presentation? 351 00:10:38,726 --> 00:10:40,520 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 352 00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:42,654 I'm already back in road trip mode. 353 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,702 So we should probably just go. 354 00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:46,550 We'll do... we'll do the presentation. 355 00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:47,815 - Thank you so much! - Oh, hey. 356 00:10:47,808 --> 00:10:49,102 Well, that's all well and good, 357 00:10:49,095 --> 00:10:51,031 but we still have a problem. 358 00:10:51,021 --> 00:10:53,137 The school still thinks the event's happening a year from now. 359 00:10:53,126 --> 00:10:54,192 Who's even gonna come? 360 00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:55,743 Well, we'll just do what he did, right? 361 00:10:55,735 --> 00:10:57,664 We'll recruit people who seem like they'd be 362 00:10:57,654 --> 00:10:59,493 good candidates for "Later, Baby." 363 00:10:59,483 --> 00:11:00,459 Oh, sure, where we gonna find them? 364 00:11:00,454 --> 00:11:03,466 - Yeah. - We'll get nerds. 365 00:11:03,450 --> 00:11:05,448 I mean, I was a nerd in college for three years, 366 00:11:05,437 --> 00:11:06,806 till I discovered vodka crayons. 367 00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:08,429 Like crayons you draw with? 368 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:11,459 Hey, does your ID get you into every building on this campus? 369 00:11:11,443 --> 00:11:13,432 - Yeah. - I have an idea. 370 00:11:13,421 --> 00:11:14,650 Give me the fliers. 371 00:11:14,644 --> 00:11:16,403 Thank you. Come on, let's go. 372 00:11:16,393 --> 00:11:17,482 Set up the presentation! 373 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,346 Text me if you're sure, 'cause I just... 374 00:11:19,336 --> 00:11:21,151 - Set it up! - I just packed it. 375 00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:22,353 I'm sure! Unpack it! 376 00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,537 [stammering] Ugh, okay. 377 00:11:24,525 --> 00:11:27,334 Oh, the Lewis Science Library. 378 00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,428 Drew, I've got a lot of happy memories of this place. 379 00:11:29,416 --> 00:11:31,365 Oh, right. 380 00:11:31,355 --> 00:11:33,464 The Loser Science Library. 381 00:11:33,453 --> 00:11:35,169 I've never even been in here. 382 00:11:35,159 --> 00:11:36,782 Ugh, that's right. You're a jock. 383 00:11:36,774 --> 00:11:39,232 What'd you major in, gym? 384 00:11:39,218 --> 00:11:41,397 French literature. 385 00:11:41,386 --> 00:11:44,405 [speaking French] 386 00:11:44,388 --> 00:11:47,367 Oh! Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? 387 00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:49,419 Oui! 388 00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,792 You have no idea what you're saying. 389 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,143 No. None whatsoever. 390 00:11:53,136 --> 00:11:55,145 Ah, here we are. 391 00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:56,763 Oh, Drew, isn't is beautiful? 392 00:11:56,755 --> 00:11:59,479 Nerdius Americanus in their natural habitat. 393 00:11:59,464 --> 00:12:01,148 So how're you gonna find out who's interested? 394 00:12:01,139 --> 00:12:02,348 Well, first we'll start with the Koreans, 395 00:12:02,342 --> 00:12:04,151 whose immigrant parents will make them wait 396 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,220 until they get a graduate school degree 397 00:12:05,215 --> 00:12:07,074 before they can go on a first date. 398 00:12:07,064 --> 00:12:08,323 - Oh, boy. - Um... 399 00:12:08,317 --> 00:12:13,056 Janet, Eunice, Grace, Priscilla! 400 00:12:13,029 --> 00:12:14,278 - How do you know their names? - I guessed. 401 00:12:14,271 --> 00:12:16,150 And now, the Indian girls. 402 00:12:16,140 --> 00:12:18,139 They're not gonna finish their neuro residencies 403 00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:19,238 for another 12 years. 404 00:12:19,232 --> 00:12:22,151 Anila, Dia, Priya! 405 00:12:22,135 --> 00:12:24,096 And finally, the Jewish girls. 406 00:12:24,086 --> 00:12:25,904 They want to marry Jewish guys, but all the Jewish guys 407 00:12:25,894 --> 00:12:28,102 are dating Asian girls, and they have to wait. 408 00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:31,109 - Hey, where my Jewesses at? - No, no, no, no, no. 409 00:12:31,092 --> 00:12:34,811 I am uncomfortable with all the racial talk at a university. 410 00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:35,539 Okay. 411 00:12:35,536 --> 00:12:38,015 Shira, Rachel, Tamar! 412 00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:39,880 - Shabbat shalom. - It's not shabbat. 413 00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:40,959 I know what you're thinking: 414 00:12:40,954 --> 00:12:43,668 who is this pedo, how'd they break into my library, 415 00:12:43,653 --> 00:12:45,158 why are they wasting my time? 416 00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,398 I have a Lexus. 417 00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:49,146 It's a lease, but that's a pretty big deal, okay? 418 00:12:49,131 --> 00:12:51,674 I'm just a really cool, pretty, sexy, 419 00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:53,487 full-bodied Manhattan doctor 420 00:12:53,477 --> 00:12:55,879 who decided to have children in her 30s. 421 00:12:55,866 --> 00:12:57,945 Yeah. Didn't work out with the dad. 422 00:12:57,934 --> 00:13:00,548 But it's for the best. Do miss the sex, though. 423 00:13:00,533 --> 00:13:03,777 The point is, I am here to help you take control 424 00:13:03,759 --> 00:13:04,758 of your own fertility. 425 00:13:04,753 --> 00:13:05,892 No, oh... 426 00:13:05,887 --> 00:13:09,906 All this to say, if you give me a mere hour of your time, 427 00:13:09,883 --> 00:13:13,315 I can teach you the secret of how you, too, can have it all. 428 00:13:13,296 --> 00:13:16,781 And now, this handsome guy and I are gonna make it rain... 429 00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:18,257 information. 430 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,663 Fliers for a talk I'm about to give 431 00:13:19,655 --> 00:13:21,174 in about an hour and a half. 432 00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,057 Eat it up, ladies! [paper crumpling] 433 00:13:23,047 --> 00:13:24,794 Okay, guys, meet at the front entrance. 434 00:13:24,785 --> 00:13:26,456 We'll lead you over. 435 00:13:26,447 --> 00:13:28,584 And that is how you recruit. 436 00:13:28,573 --> 00:13:30,855 My football players don't even listen to me like that. 437 00:13:30,842 --> 00:13:31,838 Maybe I should talk to them? 438 00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,662 I can come to their locker room. 439 00:13:33,653 --> 00:13:34,762 Or their showers. 440 00:13:34,756 --> 00:13:37,775 - When do they shower? - No. 441 00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:40,607 I could be on a romantic getaway in the country. 442 00:13:40,592 --> 00:13:42,611 Making love on the grass of a battle site 443 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,509 where hundreds of young men died. 444 00:13:44,499 --> 00:13:46,538 But no, thanks to Mindy, I'm getting ready 445 00:13:46,527 --> 00:13:48,496 for a presentation no one knows is happening. 446 00:13:48,485 --> 00:13:50,554 - Ah! - Stop blaming Dr. L, okay? 447 00:13:50,543 --> 00:13:52,602 You are the one undermining the practice! 448 00:13:52,591 --> 00:13:54,474 I didn't know microwaving fish 449 00:13:54,464 --> 00:13:56,157 would make the whole office smell. 450 00:13:56,148 --> 00:13:57,169 I'm talking about the incident 451 00:13:57,164 --> 00:13:58,547 in her apartment the other night. 452 00:13:58,540 --> 00:13:59,415 What incident? 453 00:13:59,411 --> 00:14:00,590 When you brushed her hair out of her head 454 00:14:00,584 --> 00:14:02,473 while she was asleep. 455 00:14:02,463 --> 00:14:03,512 Come on, man. 456 00:14:03,506 --> 00:14:05,615 What... uh, what's the big deal? 457 00:14:05,604 --> 00:14:08,732 Uh, there was a little bit of mayonnaise on her forehead. 458 00:14:09,902 --> 00:14:11,528 Okay, well, that's very plausible, 459 00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:13,806 but still, she thought it was romantic, okay? 460 00:14:13,794 --> 00:14:15,585 There was nothing romantic about it. 461 00:14:15,575 --> 00:14:18,364 All I did was this. 462 00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:20,647 [swoons] 463 00:14:22,589 --> 00:14:25,293 I-I know that that is not romantic, 464 00:14:25,278 --> 00:14:26,694 but still, you got a girlfriend. 465 00:14:26,686 --> 00:14:29,957 Stop sending Dr. Lahiri mixed signals. 466 00:14:29,939 --> 00:14:31,219 - Right, right. - And, also, me. 467 00:14:31,213 --> 00:14:32,694 Let's just pretend that never happened. 468 00:14:32,686 --> 00:14:33,855 Yes, it never happened. 469 00:14:33,849 --> 00:14:35,306 I have to go to the bathroom. 470 00:14:38,341 --> 00:14:40,055 Once you stop worrying about fertility, 471 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,628 you can start worrying about what's really important. 472 00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:44,528 Like getting through a lecture hungover. 473 00:14:44,518 --> 00:14:46,283 I recommend Pedialyte through a Twizzler. 474 00:14:46,274 --> 00:14:47,333 [laughter] 475 00:14:47,328 --> 00:14:49,107 Ow! Ow... 476 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,256 - Ow, ow. - You got to be careful. 477 00:14:51,244 --> 00:14:53,133 I'm part of the presentation. 478 00:14:53,123 --> 00:14:54,252 The first round of people to sign up 479 00:14:54,247 --> 00:14:56,106 will get a free "Hamilton"... 480 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,095 [crowd gasps] 481 00:14:58,084 --> 00:14:59,323 CDs, not tickets. 482 00:14:59,317 --> 00:15:00,326 What do you think we are? 483 00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:02,180 - We can't afford that. - Yeah. 484 00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:04,049 Thanks so much for coming out, you guys. 485 00:15:04,039 --> 00:15:05,068 Yeah! 486 00:15:05,063 --> 00:15:08,122 [cheers and applause] 487 00:15:08,105 --> 00:15:10,984 Oh, man, I used to love this place. 488 00:15:10,968 --> 00:15:12,967 One time, I tried to dance on the bar... 489 00:15:12,956 --> 00:15:14,995 But I didn't have the upper body strength to climb up, 490 00:15:14,984 --> 00:15:16,943 so I danced by the bar. 491 00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:17,932 - And... - Shut up. 492 00:15:17,927 --> 00:15:19,469 Is that the coach from before? 493 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,917 Oh, my God. 494 00:15:20,909 --> 00:15:23,908 - More like Vince Lomhottie. - Oh, it is. 495 00:15:23,892 --> 00:15:25,011 - Hey, man. - Hey! 496 00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:26,154 Hey. What's going on? 497 00:15:26,148 --> 00:15:27,887 How'd the presentation go? 498 00:15:27,878 --> 00:15:28,967 It went really well. 499 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,971 We signed up 16 new patients, so it was cool. 500 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,849 Hey, join us. Sit down. 501 00:15:32,839 --> 00:15:34,858 Oh, five people in a booth, I don't know if that's safe. 502 00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:35,906 - Yeah. - Move over. 503 00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:36,900 - Come on, move over. - There's plenty of room. 504 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,034 I can go one butt cheek for this guy. 505 00:15:38,028 --> 00:15:39,827 - All right, all right. - Move over, you animals. 506 00:15:40,871 --> 00:15:42,490 - It's comfortable. - Aw, thanks. 507 00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:43,861 So how was your day? 508 00:15:43,854 --> 00:15:45,216 My recruitment went well. 509 00:15:45,209 --> 00:15:47,841 I found a fullback who only has light asthma, so... 510 00:15:47,826 --> 00:15:48,839 Well, if you're okay with asthma, 511 00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:49,999 I can be your Tom Brady. 512 00:15:49,993 --> 00:15:51,112 Oh I don't know about that. 513 00:15:51,107 --> 00:15:52,820 I think you might be a distraction to the team. 514 00:15:52,811 --> 00:15:55,730 Or if you're looking for someone with sleep apnea... 515 00:15:55,714 --> 00:15:56,963 - [snorts] - Stop it, stop it. 516 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,002 No, I sleep like an angel. 517 00:15:58,991 --> 00:15:59,913 - [sneezes] - Oh! 518 00:15:59,909 --> 00:16:01,918 Are you okay, sweetie? 519 00:16:01,907 --> 00:16:03,846 It's nothing, it's nothing. 520 00:16:03,836 --> 00:16:05,927 It's just, now that we moved, 521 00:16:05,915 --> 00:16:08,852 I'm directly under a vent, and it's very chilly. 522 00:16:08,836 --> 00:16:10,625 Oh, you poor thing. 523 00:16:10,616 --> 00:16:12,635 Well, maybe we should all leave and go someplace else 524 00:16:12,624 --> 00:16:14,010 that's not quite so drafty? 525 00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:15,655 No, we just got our drinks. We're having fun. 526 00:16:15,646 --> 00:16:17,869 Well, some of us are having fun, some of us are freezing. 527 00:16:17,857 --> 00:16:18,832 You know, you guys work it out. 528 00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:21,576 I'm just gonna see if the bartender can warm up 529 00:16:21,561 --> 00:16:22,560 this white wine. [sneezes] 530 00:16:22,555 --> 00:16:23,574 - Ah! - Okay. 531 00:16:23,569 --> 00:16:25,608 So how long you guys in town for? 532 00:16:25,597 --> 00:16:26,666 We leave tomorrow, 6:00 a.m. sharp. 533 00:16:26,661 --> 00:16:27,780 Well, I'm glad I caught you, then, 534 00:16:27,774 --> 00:16:29,613 because this place has 10 cent wings. 535 00:16:29,604 --> 00:16:30,864 Both: What? 536 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,563 Mindy, Courtney gave up our weekend together. 537 00:16:32,554 --> 00:16:33,997 The least we could do is go someplace 538 00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:35,276 where she wouldn't be suffering. 539 00:16:35,269 --> 00:16:36,292 Okay, well, good luck with that, 540 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:37,756 'cause she suffers everywhere. 541 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:38,524 Should I go? 542 00:16:38,521 --> 00:16:40,084 Mindy, you owe Courtney and I an apology. 543 00:16:40,076 --> 00:16:42,201 For what? For scoring us a dozen new patients? 544 00:16:42,189 --> 00:16:43,668 Yeah, and I got a callback for "Spring Awakening." 545 00:16:43,661 --> 00:16:45,590 - Yeah, man. - You have been rude to us. 546 00:16:45,579 --> 00:16:48,640 And, to quote Tim Gunn, "That is not a good look." 547 00:16:48,623 --> 00:16:49,590 Okay, if Tim Gunn was here, he would say, 548 00:16:49,586 --> 00:16:50,605 "That's a lot of look." 549 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,241 [as Tim Gunn] "That's a lot of look!" 550 00:16:53,226 --> 00:16:54,453 You know what? I am sorry. 551 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,906 I am so sorry that I had to spend a weekend 552 00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:59,401 making conversation with a woman who cannot tolerate 553 00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:00,457 Earth's atmosphere. 554 00:17:00,451 --> 00:17:01,510 - Yeah, you know, I'm gonna go. - No! 555 00:17:01,505 --> 00:17:02,534 - No! - Don't... ugh. 556 00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:03,538 - Son of a bitch. - Bye-bye. 557 00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:05,382 Hey, man, what is your problem? 558 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,458 You haven't even given Courtney a chance. 559 00:17:06,453 --> 00:17:08,445 You've been rude to her this whole trip. 560 00:17:08,434 --> 00:17:10,473 Well, I don't understand why it's so important to you 561 00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:11,531 that I like your girlfriend. 562 00:17:11,526 --> 00:17:14,255 We are coworkers. We do not need to socialize. 563 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,379 In fact, maybe you should leave. 564 00:17:15,373 --> 00:17:17,352 - Well, maybe I should. - No, no, don't go. 565 00:17:17,342 --> 00:17:19,311 - Bye-bye. - No, no, no, don't, Dr. K. 566 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:20,329 Sure, no. 567 00:17:20,324 --> 00:17:22,473 No, we're not taking your money, man. 568 00:17:22,461 --> 00:17:23,470 [sighs] 569 00:17:23,465 --> 00:17:25,344 You chased everyone away. Are you happy? 570 00:17:25,334 --> 00:17:26,600 No. 571 00:17:31,349 --> 00:17:32,907 I mean, can you believe Jody? 572 00:17:32,899 --> 00:17:35,189 Acting like it's my job to treat his pushy, 573 00:17:35,176 --> 00:17:37,175 sneeze-monster girlfriend like she's my sister? 574 00:17:37,165 --> 00:17:39,925 Hey, I am the only sister you're ever gonna need. 575 00:17:39,909 --> 00:17:41,455 Hey, Morgan. 576 00:17:41,447 --> 00:17:43,108 I love that you've kept me company, 577 00:17:43,099 --> 00:17:46,098 but I-I really don't need, nor want, you to stay 578 00:17:46,082 --> 00:17:47,384 for the rest of the night. 579 00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:48,323 You can't be alone after that fight. 580 00:17:48,319 --> 00:17:51,058 Also, the hotel was out of rooms 581 00:17:51,043 --> 00:17:53,142 that didn't cost anything, so... 582 00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:54,179 You can sleep on the floor. 583 00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,123 Can we just watch some Pay-Per-View, please? 584 00:17:56,113 --> 00:17:57,282 No porn! 585 00:17:57,276 --> 00:18:00,005 Because I checked earlier, and I've seen them all. 586 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:01,089 [sneezes] 587 00:18:01,083 --> 00:18:03,202 Okay, I turned the heat up to 90. 588 00:18:03,191 --> 00:18:04,220 Oh. 589 00:18:04,215 --> 00:18:06,074 Are you sure it's not too warm in here? 590 00:18:06,064 --> 00:18:07,213 No, the hotel has heat. 591 00:18:07,207 --> 00:18:09,156 We'd be fools not to take advantage. 592 00:18:09,146 --> 00:18:11,975 I think I'm gonna put on another pair of socks. 593 00:18:11,959 --> 00:18:13,667 Oh, that's a good idea. 594 00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,958 Oh, you left your belt buckle in the car. 595 00:18:15,946 --> 00:18:17,045 I grabbed it. 596 00:18:17,039 --> 00:18:18,148 - Belt buckle? - Yeah. 597 00:18:18,143 --> 00:18:20,912 It's almost too heavy for me to carry. 598 00:18:20,896 --> 00:18:21,935 Where'd you get it? 599 00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:24,910 Uh... 600 00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:29,015 Texas. 601 00:18:28,998 --> 00:18:31,007 Will you excuse me, honey? I, uh... 602 00:18:30,997 --> 00:18:32,056 I'm gonna go down to the lobby, 603 00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:35,035 get you a nice cup of boiling hot tea. 604 00:18:35,019 --> 00:18:37,166 See, I gave everyone backrubs in prison. 605 00:18:37,154 --> 00:18:38,716 My friend Choocho loved it. 606 00:18:38,708 --> 00:18:39,796 Murdered his whole family. 607 00:18:39,791 --> 00:18:40,829 [knocking] 608 00:18:40,824 --> 00:18:41,848 Oh, my God, I didn't tell my parole officer 609 00:18:41,843 --> 00:18:42,932 I was leaving the state. 610 00:18:42,926 --> 00:18:44,785 If it's a man named Jamar, I'm not here. 611 00:18:45,988 --> 00:18:48,727 Good evening, Mindy. 612 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:49,731 Oh, uh... 613 00:18:49,726 --> 00:18:50,725 may I have a word with you? 614 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,849 Okay. 615 00:18:52,838 --> 00:18:55,677 I just wanted to apologize about how harsh I was 616 00:18:55,661 --> 00:18:57,818 at that college tavern tonight. 617 00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:59,216 You've really embarrassed me in front of 618 00:18:59,209 --> 00:19:00,649 a room filled with strangers. 619 00:19:00,642 --> 00:19:03,271 Afterwards, sure, I embarrassed myself even worse 620 00:19:03,256 --> 00:19:05,207 by throwing up while doing karaoke, but still. 621 00:19:05,197 --> 00:19:07,664 I wasn't supportive enough of you or our business, 622 00:19:07,650 --> 00:19:09,943 and I'm... I am sorry for that. 623 00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,918 And I am sorry that I was rude to Courtney. 624 00:19:11,907 --> 00:19:13,164 Eh. 625 00:19:13,158 --> 00:19:14,707 It's just, she's so, like, annoying and, like, 626 00:19:14,699 --> 00:19:17,758 her stories suck, and she's, like, not really from Boston. 627 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,830 Kind of an apology... 628 00:19:19,818 --> 00:19:21,163 But you seem to really like her, 629 00:19:21,156 --> 00:19:22,599 so she must be worth liking. 630 00:19:22,592 --> 00:19:24,571 I can find some good in her. 631 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,334 - Like, she always has gum. - Mm-hmm. 632 00:19:26,325 --> 00:19:27,599 - Okay? - Mm-hmm. 633 00:19:27,592 --> 00:19:28,711 And she's pretty. 634 00:19:28,706 --> 00:19:31,585 And she's probably smart. 635 00:19:31,569 --> 00:19:34,152 And she seems to make you happy. 636 00:19:34,138 --> 00:19:36,979 I just wanted to clarify something, though, with you. 637 00:19:36,963 --> 00:19:38,564 - I found this... - Hey. 638 00:19:38,556 --> 00:19:40,031 - Hello. - How are ya? 639 00:19:40,023 --> 00:19:40,732 Well. 640 00:19:40,729 --> 00:19:42,394 You guys doing, like, official work stuff? 641 00:19:42,385 --> 00:19:43,384 Because if you are, I should be included in the conversation. 642 00:19:43,379 --> 00:19:44,418 No, I was going... 643 00:19:44,413 --> 00:19:45,522 We're having a private conversation. 644 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,616 Like, about patients and stuff? 645 00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:49,075 It's not... it's like a regular hangout...? 646 00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:50,610 You know what, we were actually in the middle 647 00:19:50,601 --> 00:19:51,783 of doing our hangout. 648 00:19:51,778 --> 00:19:54,001 All right, well, I'll just... I'll let you get back to your evening. 649 00:19:53,988 --> 00:19:55,142 Did you want to tell me...? Okay. 650 00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:56,922 And I'll, uh, make sure Courtney's staying warm. 651 00:19:56,912 --> 00:19:58,428 See you for breakfast. 652 00:19:58,420 --> 00:20:00,359 Okay. 653 00:20:00,349 --> 00:20:02,448 [door slamming] 654 00:20:02,437 --> 00:20:03,926 Now this is your night. 655 00:20:03,918 --> 00:20:05,264 You're gonna sit on the bed, 656 00:20:05,257 --> 00:20:06,319 and you're gonna look at my toenail 657 00:20:06,314 --> 00:20:08,293 and you're gonna tell me what the hell is going on. 658 00:20:08,282 --> 00:20:09,819 - Oh, God! - Is that scales? 659 00:20:09,811 --> 00:20:11,212 It smells so bad. 660 00:20:11,205 --> 00:20:12,716 I've tried sprays... I dumped a whole thing of 661 00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:14,587 Puff Daddy cologne on here. 662 00:20:14,577 --> 00:20:15,304 - [cell phone buzzing] - Hold on. 663 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,380 Oh, God, I have a kernel of corn in here. 664 00:20:17,368 --> 00:20:19,018 You want to get a bite to eat? 665 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:21,228 Pizza emoji. Burrito emoji. 666 00:20:21,216 --> 00:20:23,990 I have, like, a nail growing on top of this nail. 667 00:20:24,987 --> 00:20:27,777 Yeah, and then we can poop emoji... 668 00:20:27,762 --> 00:20:29,565 [giggles] 669 00:20:29,555 --> 00:20:32,816 Oops, I meant party emoji. They're both in my frequently used. 670 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,938 Oh, I cut my finger on my own toenail! 671 00:20:36,138 --> 00:20:38,940 Oh, man. Butler dining hall. 672 00:20:38,924 --> 00:20:40,243 - Mm. - Damn. 673 00:20:40,236 --> 00:20:41,152 I have missed these cheesesteaks. 674 00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:42,584 I used to have, like, four a night. 675 00:20:42,577 --> 00:20:44,209 Well, that's the perks of working at a college. 676 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,303 Almost makes up for all the hacky sack. 677 00:20:46,292 --> 00:20:48,027 Does your girlfriend hate hacky sack, too? 678 00:20:48,017 --> 00:20:49,534 [laughs] 679 00:20:49,527 --> 00:20:51,088 What? 680 00:20:51,079 --> 00:20:53,554 I'm sorry, that was just so subtle. 681 00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:54,964 Um, I almost didn't catch it. 682 00:20:54,956 --> 00:20:56,489 No. No, no girlfriend. 683 00:20:56,481 --> 00:20:58,458 Do you ever go up to Manhattan? 684 00:20:58,448 --> 00:20:59,555 Well, it's funny you should ask, 685 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,443 because I'm actually going up to watch spring practice 686 00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:03,131 at the Dalton School next week. 687 00:21:03,122 --> 00:21:05,127 - All punters. - Mm. 688 00:21:05,116 --> 00:21:06,509 You want to come? 689 00:21:06,502 --> 00:21:07,551 Mm, no. 690 00:21:07,546 --> 00:21:09,495 I hate sports. I'd rather die. 691 00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:13,534 Hey, dummy, I was just trying to ask you out on a date. 692 00:21:13,511 --> 00:21:15,480 Oh, my God, um... 693 00:21:15,469 --> 00:21:17,388 Yes, I would love to. 694 00:21:17,378 --> 00:21:19,754 Wow, I'm really excited to see you next week. 695 00:21:20,103 --> 00:21:22,816 Aren't we just gonna go to my place and have sex right now? 696 00:21:23,204 --> 00:21:25,173 - Damn, dude. - Too soon? 697 00:21:25,162 --> 00:21:27,351 Super hot. 698 00:21:27,339 --> 00:21:29,268 Um, I do have really thin walls, though, 699 00:21:29,258 --> 00:21:30,387 so you're gonna have to keep it down. 700 00:21:30,381 --> 00:21:31,380 Oh, my God. 701 00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:32,374 I live in Manhattan. 702 00:21:32,369 --> 00:21:33,378 I'm all about thin walls. 703 00:21:33,374 --> 00:21:34,952 I'll just shove a sock in my mouth. 704 00:21:34,943 --> 00:21:36,387 Let's go. 705 00:21:37,824 --> 00:21:40,156 Hey, guys, I'm sorry I was a little late this morning. 706 00:21:40,144 --> 00:21:41,263 Courtney, are you okay with the AC? 707 00:21:41,257 --> 00:21:43,086 Oh, I'm great. 708 00:21:43,076 --> 00:21:45,155 I've got one of those silver blankets ambulances give out. 709 00:21:45,144 --> 00:21:46,105 But thanks. 710 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,307 Hey, you shouldn't have abandoned me last night, okay? 711 00:21:48,295 --> 00:21:50,224 I tossed and turned so much, I fell off the bed 712 00:21:50,214 --> 00:21:51,066 and I hurt myself. 713 00:21:51,062 --> 00:21:52,466 I'm sorry, Morgan. 714 00:21:52,459 --> 00:21:54,803 Wait, you didn't make it home last night? 715 00:21:54,790 --> 00:21:57,166 Was it that football guy from the bar? 716 00:21:57,153 --> 00:21:58,152 Maybe. 717 00:21:58,147 --> 00:22:00,216 Oh, you go, girl! 718 00:22:00,205 --> 00:22:03,200 That guy was hot and had a strong jawline. 719 00:22:03,184 --> 00:22:04,037 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 720 00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:06,021 And he sure used that jawline last night. 721 00:22:06,011 --> 00:22:08,180 - Oh! - What? 722 00:22:08,168 --> 00:22:10,047 Please, Mindy, there's a lady present. 723 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:12,235 Wasn't a lady present last night. 724 00:22:12,223 --> 00:22:14,508 - Oh! - Yes! 725 00:22:14,496 --> 00:22:16,130 All right, let's pay attention to the road. 726 00:22:16,121 --> 00:22:18,010 I know someone who got rode last night. 727 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,858 - It was the coach! - Morgan! 728 00:22:19,908 --> 00:22:24,458 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 53480

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