All language subtitles for The Curious Creations of Christine Mcconnell s01e01 Snacks for Strays

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

[narrator]
On the top of a dark and distant mountain

there is a beautiful and talented woman

who uses her unique skills of baking,
sculpting and sewing

to create delicious confections

and hauntingly disturbing decor.

She finds beauty in the art of darkness
with each creation

and shares them with us,

the unusual creatures
she has taken into her home.

Join us in her delightfully dark world.

Welcome to The Curious Creations
of Christine McConnell.

[wind whistling]

[crow cawing]

[clock ticking]

[Rose] I want another one.

I'm not so sure, after what you did
to poor Mr. Bailey here.

Well, I thought his skull
would be full of candy.

- Alright, go ahead.
- Yeah!

[grunting]

- Ugh.
- [chomping loudly]

Slowly, you're gonna split
another seam.

[howling]

Rose, when you're done,
would you help me in the kitchen?

- I think we're gonna have company soon.
- Who's coming?

- Someone I sent for.
- I hope it's Animal Control.

By the way, Rose is leaking
all over the floor.

- Again.
- No, that was already there!

Ugh. This place is a mess!

I can't live like this!

Rose, come along.

You should just seal up her mouth
and solve all our problems.

[laughs mockingly] And don't touch it.

I'm saving it for later.

Eurgh. I can assure you
that won't be an issue. Animal!

So, what you making?

Your comment in the other room about
the skull got me thinking about a treat

that you and our visitor might both like.

With Rose as your muse,
I can only imagine what you have in mind.

- So, I take it you like skeletal remains?
- Yeah.

- And chocolate and peanut butter?
- Yeah.

Well, what would you say to me making
peanut butter-filled pretzel bones

- dipped in chocolate?
- [gasps]

Peanut butter? Pretzels?

Chocolate? [gasps]

[chuckles]

Now if only she'd stay that way.

We've all had a late night guest

or a hungry little critter
craving a bedtime snack,

but midnight is no time to get lazy

and the kitchen of the perfect hostess
never sleeps.

Who is she talking to?

So, the recipe
we're going to be making today

is comprised of simple ingredients

that you're either
going to have in your home

or can gather with a quick trip
to the supermarket.

So once you combine
your creamy peanut butter,

good quality butter,

confectioners' sugar,
as well as a very high-caliber vanilla,

with just a touch of salt,

you should end up with a mixture
that's something like this.

You're going to be taking this sugary
concoction

and using it as sort of a moldable clay,

that is very delicious.

So your first step is going to be
making little balls.

If you do find
that the mixture begins to stick,

it just means it needs
a bit more confectioners' sugar.

So, ideally, each of the bones should have
four little circular nubs at the end

with a pretzel rod running through it
for strength.

For the outer layer of the pretzel,

you're gonna get a larger piece
of your peanut butter dough.

Try to get it to a good consistency,

so it will hold
and adhere to your pretzel rod.

Aah.

Using a rolling pin...

And that should give you a good
initial coat of the pretzel rod.

And err on the side
of this being a little too thin,

because not only will you be
shaving it down,

but you'll be dipping it in chocolate,

and you really want the chocolate
to build up

a decent amount of the body of the bone.

You can use the back of your nail
to help sculpt some of these.

But really getting this first coat
as smooth and nice as possible

is gonna help later down the road.

Once you get a shape that you like

and it's been nice and chilled in the
freezer for a decent amount of time,

usually about two hours
or until firm to the touch,

you're ready to start shaving it down

and preparing it to be dipped
in molten chocolate.

So a potato peeler is going to be your
best friend during this process

in smoothing out the bone.

Ooh. Very clever.

This is where sculpting tools really come
in handy.

Getting everything as smooth and nice
as possible in the peanut butter stage

is the safest way to end up with
a really beautiful finished bone

that looks as good as possible.

Now, to temper your chocolate,

get about an inch of water,

place a bowl on top of it,

pour your chocolate in there

and temper it till it's nice
and creamy and smooth

and the heat is well-circulated.

At this point, a whisk
would be very helpful.

Millie, would you mind?

[growling]

Oh. Thank you.

So now that the chocolate is just about
the right temperature,

we're going to pour it into a bowl

that is just the right size to dip
the bones into.

Fascinating.

I'm using a spoon to coat every inch of
the bone, but you just need a thin layer.

Let's pop this back in the freezer
for about 30 more minutes.

So now that we have the general shape
that we're going for,

we're gonna continue sculpting it down,

just before painting and finalizing.

Keeping in mind
the bone is the thinnest in the center.

You can smooth the nubs
with the palm of your hand

to make sure you have
a really beautiful finish.

Don't forget that realism is
the goal of what you're doing.

So really taking your time and making sure
you're replicating a realistic texture

is pretty key.

So, now that we have
a pretty smooth sculptural shape,

we're going to do a couple little textures

with some sculpting tools,
mainly pitting.

Which, if you look
at any old, desiccated bone,

it's gonna have
all these little grooves, pits,

and little tiny crevices, basically,

which I'm making by drilling into the bone
using a potter's needle.

The final step will be
to ever so lightly airbrush

a little bit of shadowing
in the creases of the bone,

finishing by just doing a couple little
streaks with some food coloring.

The last little touch we're
gonna be doing

is with a fine point brush,

delicately filling
all of those little pits that we did

to give as much realism
as we can possibly achieve.

And there we are,

with a perfectly edible,
delicious cookie bone.

And this should be perfect
for the little monster in your life.

- Rose?
- Yeah?

Would you like a cookie?

[gasps] Yeah, I want a cookie!

Wha...

[chomping]

If you keep feeding her,
she'll never leave.

- [banging on door]
- I'll get it!

Mm, I better go
make sure she doesn't attempt

to fornicate with whatever's there.

- Yes, you just keep eating that bone.
- Mm.

- [door creaks]
- [crow cawing]

- [growling]
- Whoa!

[yells]

- [moans]
- [screams]

- [moaning]
- [gasps] You poor thing!

[groaning]

I'm dying.

Kill me.

- [grunting]
- There we go.

There's a note around his neck.

I'll read it.

It's upside-down.

"Do not feed him fish"?

"Don't feed him flesh."

Well, that makes sense.

- [growls]
- [both] Whoa!

[grumbling]

Edgar, there's no need to be frightened.

[Rose sniffs] He stinks.

Coming from you,
that really says something.

All right, that's enough, you two.
He's been through a lot.

So... he's a what now?

To be honest, I'm not really sure.

But his name's Edgar, and I don't think
we need to worry ourselves over labels.

- How do you know all of this?
- Good heavens, it talks!

She just knows stuff, okay?

And if she or I see you
get one step out of line,

there's an incinerator in the basement
that will burn you alive.

You will do no such thing. [chuckles]

I apologize for Rose, introductions are
not really her strong suit.

Indeed, her talents include
binging on trash

and an insatiable libido
with the neighborhood dogs.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

What is this place?

This is our home, and it's a place
where the strange, unusual...

- and Rose...
- Yeah!

...are safe and welcome.

Our kind is protected here.

Yeah, I was crushed in a garbage truck
and she remade me, better.

What about you, squirrel?
She make you also?

I am a cat!

And resurrected would be more accurate.

He really was rather pitiful
when I met him.

Just wasting away on a shelf.

I was once revered as a god,
until some jealous humans

buried me alive and cursed me.

Yes, later I was stolen from my tomb
and wound up in an antique shop.

Christine was good enough to accurately
read the spell on my burial cloth,

and now...

here we are.

You may worship me if you like.

You talk too much.

All right, you guys,
that's enough chatter.

Edgar, I have a surprise for you.

- Come this way.
- Hm.

[panting]

It's okay. You're fine. Come here.

Have a seat.

Alright,
you won't be needing this anymore.

- I'll be back in just a moment.
- [sniffing]

Rose, Rankle.

Please make our guests feel at home.

Yeah, we'll have so much fun,
and we'll play games

and sing songs and...

Listen, pal!

I don't know what your deal is,

but don't plan on stayin' long,
if you get what I mean.

[growling and panting]

You smell like a zoo.

Hah! On a good day!

She actually bathed this month.

Yeah!

- All right, Edgar.
- Huh?

I made these earlier, just for you.

You...

made these?

I did. It's just peanut butter
and chocolate.

- Dig in.
- Yeah, dig in.

[chuckles] Chocolate kills dogs.

He'll be fine,
white chocolate isn't the same thing.

Oh, delightful.

Does it need a drool bucket too?

Oh, he's just got a healthy appetite.

Edgar, I think it's time for bed.

We still need to find you a place
to sleep. Want to come with me?

- Yeah.
- Okay, come on.

Rose, Rankle,

no murder plots tonight.

Be sure to floss.

Oh! What? [chuckles]

Oh, marvelous.
Just what we need in this house.

Another mouth-breathing
brainless beast to feed.

Does she not understand
that I require silence

to maintain my mastery of creation?

Oh, he'll be much quieter
when I'm through with him.

Really? What do you have in mind?

Somethin' awful. [cackles]

[both cackling]

[loud echoing laughter]

[crow cawing]

Do you think a funeral would be
a little bit more appropriate?

- A welcoming party sounds stupid.
- [sighs]

Don't be silly, this is Edgar's new home.

I'm just saying, I think he'd probably be
a lot more comfortable

six feet underground.

Everyone would be more comfortable
if you were six feet under too.

I was once, it didn't take.

I don't think a trash compactor counts
as a grave.

In the ground, mangled in a garbage truck,
what's the difference?

My point is, this place is crowded enough.

I can't argue with that.

Will you two pipe down?
Or you're gonna wake up Edgar

and ruin the surprise.

What's the surprise?

I'm going to make a cake
in the shape of our house for him

with little miniature Edgars in front.

I still think murder's a better surprise.

It always catches people off-guard. Ugh,

[sighs] Making a cake for a new friend

is the perfect way
to show them that you care.

And if they can survive
this amount of butter and sugar,

you should have a friend for life.

- Who is she talking to?
- I told you, she's a little mad.

Fortunately, she has us to look after her.

Agreed.

When taking on
a project of this magnitude,

buttercream is going to be
your very best friend.

You're also going to need some additional
supplies to build up your structure.

Finally, since it's cake,
I've added a few fun details.

I've been working on the exterior frame
of the house for some time now.

When you have something so heavy,
you'll want to support it

with things like dowel rods, cake board,

probably every, I want to say
four to five inches, at least.

So you can build up those layers.

Otherwise, you're going to build up
something humongous

and it is going to collapse on you.

Which is not what you want!

So, obviously, the basis
of a tall, structural cake like this

starts with some pretty basic ingredients.

The body of this house began with some
13 by nine-inch chocolate sheet cakes.

It's easier to work with smaller
sections.

So cut these big cakes in half
and work with the smaller pieces.

For a cake like this, you wanna keep
those pieces pretty thick and big.

So you should cut this in half again
and then cut it into two layers,

so you can frost in between,

which becomes the bulk of the house
you see here.

Then you'll add a crumb coat
over the whole cake, like I did here.

So once it gets to this stage,

you really wanna
keep it chilled as much as possible,

so we're gonna pop this back
in the fridge.

And because this is my house,

we're going to add some eyeballs
in the front.

Ooh! Maybe she'll make me
a butterscotch pyramid one day.

So, when I make eyeballs
with any of my baking,

I always use white modeling chocolate
as the base for the eyeball.

So I kind of guesstimate
how big I want these eyeballs to be,

roll out what I think
is gonna be two of them,

cut it in half.

So then you know you have equal quantities
of your chocolate for each ball.

So there you have two eyeballs
that should be roughly the same size.

Now I'm going to show you
how to paint them.

I have food-grade powder pigments,

a little bit of vodka
to sort of liquefy those paints,

and the reason vodka is so useful

is because it evaporates very quickly
and your paint will stay in place.

You can do an iris as a circle,

but for my house, I think
I want something a little creepier,

and nothing is scarier
than a cat's eye.

Ooh, it's like glaring into a mirror.

So that's one down, one left to go.

But before I get into that,

I think I wanna show you about
eyelids and how they work.

Most of the expression of the eye is
created with the eyebrow and the eyelid.

And the direction of that

sort of influences whether this character
either looks angry,

happy, sad or cute.

By tilting the lid of the eyeball,
I've given it a menacing expression.

I'm using brown modeling chocolate.

So that's sort of a base or beginning.

So I'll continue building up
the folds of skin around the eye

to increase the menace

and anger that you see in the eye.

- What do you guys think?
- Oh, that's very clever.

- It's beautiful!
- Yes.

So, when you begin decorating your cake,

it's really the textures that are gonna
make all the difference in the world.

Going through with a blade

and cutting in slats
into your buttercream

can give the appearance of wood,
so when you go in and paint it,

everything should look perfect
and beautiful and seamless.

So once you have your borders
and perimeters sort of set out,

you just need to create
your first line of shingles

and then follow behind them

and just repeat that pattern
all the way until you hit the top.

If you're unsure about your pattern,

it's always useful to sample it out first
on a flat surface.

If you make a huge mistake,

you can usually scrape it up,

but if the mistake is small,
I mean, at the end of the day, it's cake.

And now it's time to work on the windows.

Now that I have outlined
where those windows are gonna be,

I'm gonna carve out
some of the buttercream that I've put in

so I have a little bit of a hollow casing

that I can go around with
with some trim and flashing.

The cake still needs shingling,
and you start at the bottom.

Pipe that continually,
over and over and over again.

And the same with the shingles
on the roof,

which I've airbrushed brown.

Then, once this is completely dry,

it was ready to be painted.

I made a very runny royal icing.

You can just not quite put in
as much confectioners' sugar

and just keep adding
water until it's just right.

Sometimes,
before you tackle the actual cake itself,

it's good to practice any decorative
elements that you wanna apply to it.

So you get the kinks worked out before
you actually start adhering things

to this masterpiece that you've created.

So, obviously, quite a few hours later,

we have something that looks like this.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it,
this is tedious and time-consuming.

But once you get it to this stage,

it begins to turn into something
you're very, very proud of

and excited to share with people.

So, the last step
is to apply clear piping gel

to the eye to give it a wet,
realistic look.

Try and pipe your gel evenly
over the eyeballs

and don't be afraid to take your time.

After applying your initial coat,

spread the gel with a paintbrush.

So now it's going back to the chiller
for tonight's party.

[sighs] Okay, we're all done with that.

Ooh! Can we eat it now?

No, it's for tonight.

- Aww.
- But we still have one last project to do.

Edible Edgars.

Ugh. Well, I hope
it tastes better than it sounds.

Are we certain that Edgar has his
flesh-eating habit under control?

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure.

So, to be on the safe side...

let's make sure
he never tastes blood again.

Okay, so he'll just stay here, with us...

who are chock-full of blood!

Great! Perfection. Makes total sense.

[sighs] Our last project of the day
is going to be

these cereal tree creatures
made from puffed rice cereal,

marshmallow, a little bit of butter,
salt and vanilla.

And I've actually made a much larger one

that I want to show you
all the fine finishing details.

Obviously, this little guy is
a few further steps ahead.

I've airbrushed him
with some food coloring,

and then applied little individual
coconut hairs,

glued on with some chocolate royal icing,

and then just piped on
a few little nuggets of royal icing,

just to bulk him up a little bit
and give him some texture.

So now, one last coat of airbrushing,

and then he will be ready
for eyes and teeth and claws.

Molding the sculpture was easy,

as puffed rice treats are very pliable.

All right, all done
and ready for those finishing details.

So for the final touch, I'm going to pipe
white royal icing into the eyes...

onto the fingers...

and onto the mouth...

just to sort of imply
eyes, teeth and claws.

All right, all done.

- What do you think?
- Mm.

My followers used to make little replicas
of me out of the purest gold.

They would pray to them, most fervently.

Some of those sculptures still exist.

Really?

Why don't you go find one and pray to it
that you meet someone who cares?

[chuckles] Well, this only needs
to make it through tonight.

I'm gonna go finish setting up
for the party in the dining room.

Okay, bye.

That cookie isn't the only thing in this
house that's gonna be expiring soon.

[both chuckling]

[loud echoing laughter]

- You mean you're gonna kill Edgar, right?
- Yeah.

What do you guys think?

It's perfect... except... Huh.

what's that spot over there?

- Where?
- Over there, in the corner.

- This?
- [chuckling]

And now I'll frost you with rat poison.
[chuckling]

- What don't you like?
- Oh, nothin'.

It was just a shadow.

That's a lot of sugar for one table.

What do you think the odds are
Edgar's diabetic?

- Oh...
- Did somebody say my name?

[gasps] He's got a gun! [squeals]

[Christine] No, Rose!

- [growling]
- Oh, Rose.

Edgar, I'm sorry about that.
We had planned a surprise for you.

- What's that under your arm?
- Huh?

Uh... Oh, um...

You've been so... sweet,

letting me live in your house and
welcoming me into your family.

I wanted to do something nice for you.

So I made this.

I hope you like it.

Oh, my God.

I hope you don't mind,

I used some paints I found
in a corner under the stairs,

right next to where I pee.

Edgar, you are so talented. I...

- This is amazing.
- [Rankle] Hm.

- Derivative.
- It's not that great.

Rose, look! He even captured your eyes!

Mm, and the crust around them.

Um, okay, are we all forgetting
that I almost died?

- How?
- I was almost crushed by the cake!

Luckily, you survived. And luckily...

I always make a backup.

I'll be back in a jiff.

- [grunts]
- Way to go. You ruined everything!

[whimpers] Yeah, I tend to do that a lot.

[howls]

Oh, yes. Yes, howl, you magnificent beast.

The cruel universe
is indifferent to your suffering.

[cackling]

Ooh, cake.

Edgar, welcome to your new home.

[howls]

Come here and give me a hug.

- [sighs]
- [Rose] Ugh.

- Oh, that's too much.
- Eurgh.

- [glass smashes]
- [all gasp]

[Edgar growling]

"Keep it down, freaks."

Oh, the neighbors. Ugh!

[grunting]

[howling]

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