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1
00:00:01,713 --> 00:00:03,203
"And although
he's played his last gig,
2
00:00:03,375 --> 00:00:05,468
Screamin' Hank Walters
will be joining Hendrix, Elvis,
3
00:00:05,636 --> 00:00:06,660
and maybe even Tupac... "
4
00:00:06,833 --> 00:00:08,926
"For an all-star jam session in heaven. "
5
00:00:09,094 --> 00:00:10,994
Did you read this obituary
before I turned it in?
6
00:00:11,156 --> 00:00:13,056
No, no, I'm reading the one
you wrote last week.
7
00:00:13,218 --> 00:00:14,913
Oh, right.
8
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,776
Well, it is an obituary.
It's not like they're gonna complain.
9
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:18,964
Hey, it's no big deal.
10
00:00:19,137 --> 00:00:21,196
I reuse the same photos
over and over again.
11
00:00:21,365 --> 00:00:23,094
Of course,
I had to stop when people realized
12
00:00:23,259 --> 00:00:25,284
Queen Latifah
never fought Lennox Lewis.
13
00:00:25,455 --> 00:00:28,219
You know, when I got this job,
I thought I'd be doing more interviews.
14
00:00:28,381 --> 00:00:31,407
But I've covered
more dead rockers than vomit.
15
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,268
Can I just give you a little advice?
16
00:00:34,266 --> 00:00:35,358
Go find your own stories.
17
00:00:35,530 --> 00:00:37,361
You write something decent,
Annie will run it.
18
00:00:37,525 --> 00:00:40,255
You write something indecent
and she'll put it on the cover.
19
00:00:40,418 --> 00:00:42,545
If I wanna impress Annie,
that's what I'll have to do.
20
00:00:42,712 --> 00:00:46,170
You're right. I'm gonna tell Annie
I have written my last obituary.
21
00:00:46,603 --> 00:00:48,434
Sabrina,
get down to Boston General.
22
00:00:48,598 --> 00:00:50,429
Keith Richards is having chest pains.
23
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,185
Can't I wait
until he goes to the morgue?
24
00:00:52,355 --> 00:00:54,823
I have my own parking spot there.
25
00:01:39,506 --> 00:01:42,771
What you're looking at now
is the Morganwear fall line.
26
00:01:42,931 --> 00:01:46,423
I like these, but actually,
we're buying for spring right now.
27
00:01:46,588 --> 00:01:48,055
Oh, not a problem.
28
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:52,471
And now,
you have scarves to match.
29
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,202
Whoa, cute headband.
30
00:01:55,367 --> 00:01:56,732
That's a skirt.
31
00:01:56,896 --> 00:01:58,830
And I'm guessing
a great way to meet guys.
32
00:01:58,991 --> 00:02:03,621
I'm telling you, these designs
will be flying off the rack. Ha, ha.
33
00:02:04,877 --> 00:02:07,072
Flying off the rack.
34
00:02:07,238 --> 00:02:08,432
Oh, oh! That's our cue.
35
00:02:09,665 --> 00:02:12,759
Oh, look, I love this blouse.
36
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,653
Roxie, don't you love this blouse?
37
00:02:14,819 --> 00:02:18,186
- Love it? I'd like to be buried in it.
- That's right, Roxie.
38
00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:20,710
Because Morganwear
works for every occasion.
39
00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:23,168
Well, your friends
seem to really like your stuff.
40
00:02:25,559 --> 00:02:27,083
Morgan,
are we almost through here?
41
00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:29,120
I really should be out
trying to dig up a story.
42
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,410
Actually, I really like your designs.
43
00:02:31,577 --> 00:02:33,670
Let me finish this call,
and I'll place an order.
44
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,767
I sold something.
I sold something, ha, ha.
45
00:02:37,928 --> 00:02:39,555
I deserve a little treat.
46
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:42,625
What do you think,
uh, Lexus or Mercedes?
47
00:02:42,784 --> 00:02:45,275
Uh, how about chipping in
for groceries once in a while?
48
00:02:47,572 --> 00:02:49,039
That's Babette Storm.
49
00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:51,863
Oh, yeah.
She's in town shooting a film.
50
00:02:52,028 --> 00:02:54,428
Wow. She looks even better
in person.
51
00:02:54,588 --> 00:02:57,523
"Bo," "tox. "
- Get out.
52
00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,671
She's pushing 30,
she's gotta do something.
53
00:02:59,842 --> 00:03:00,866
Hey, that's a great story:
54
00:03:01,038 --> 00:03:02,903
What an actress has to do
to stay in the game.
55
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:05,160
Now, how can I prove
that she's using Botox?
56
00:03:05,329 --> 00:03:07,126
Stick a safety pin in her forehead.
57
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:09,547
Oh, my God, did you see that?
58
00:03:09,717 --> 00:03:10,775
She just shoplifted.
59
00:03:10,948 --> 00:03:12,176
That's really sad.
60
00:03:12,344 --> 00:03:14,005
Yeah, it is.
61
00:03:14,173 --> 00:03:16,903
She stole from the clearance rack.
62
00:03:25,512 --> 00:03:27,742
If I buy a box of Thin Mints,
will you go away?
63
00:03:27,906 --> 00:03:30,739
What if I had a story about someone
who was actually alive?
64
00:03:30,899 --> 00:03:31,957
What have you got?
65
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,120
Well, I saw Babette Storm
last night at a boutique,
66
00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:36,918
and let's just say she's no stranger
to the five-finger discount.
67
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,642
That means shoplifting.
68
00:03:38,813 --> 00:03:41,247
Got any proof?
That means you're a real reporter.
69
00:03:41,406 --> 00:03:42,839
Well, I saw it with my own two eyes.
70
00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:46,369
Hey, five fingers, two eyes.
Maybe I can use that in my article.
71
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,495
Look, I have no doubt
this woman's a thief, okay?
72
00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:50,816
There is no other explanation
for her Oscar.
73
00:03:50,983 --> 00:03:53,383
But find a story you can back up.
74
00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:55,841
Well, I know for a fact
she's had Botox injections.
75
00:03:57,334 --> 00:03:59,029
I think.
76
00:04:01,789 --> 00:04:03,416
Come on, cheer up.
77
00:04:03,585 --> 00:04:05,052
I can't help it. I'm bummed.
78
00:04:05,214 --> 00:04:07,079
I try to show my boss
that I know what I'm doing
79
00:04:07,242 --> 00:04:08,732
and I end up
looking like an amateur.
80
00:04:08,906 --> 00:04:11,136
Well, why don't you do
what I do when I feeling down?
81
00:04:11,299 --> 00:04:12,527
Let strangers rub my belly?
82
00:04:12,695 --> 00:04:13,889
Huh.
83
00:04:14,991 --> 00:04:16,458
Order the champagne.
84
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:17,644
Monique just called.
85
00:04:17,817 --> 00:04:20,149
She wants to double
her initial order of Morganwear.
86
00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:21,800
Congratulations.
87
00:04:21,973 --> 00:04:23,873
At least one of our careers
is taking off.
88
00:04:24,035 --> 00:04:25,434
Oh, Sabrina, I don't have time
89
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,793
for the Annie-is-evil pep talk
right now.
90
00:04:27,959 --> 00:04:29,859
I have 50 outfits to deliver.
91
00:04:31,882 --> 00:04:33,179
Oh, okay.
92
00:04:33,844 --> 00:04:36,312
Annie is evil,
you're great, hang in there.
93
00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:38,769
- Oh, I forgot the best part.
- I'm thin and beautiful?
94
00:04:38,932 --> 00:04:40,263
Oh, we're back to me now.
95
00:04:40,428 --> 00:04:42,692
Babette Storm
ordered one of my dresses
96
00:04:42,855 --> 00:04:45,722
to wear to the press conference
for her new film.
97
00:04:45,881 --> 00:04:47,576
You might wanna sew in a LoJack.
98
00:04:47,743 --> 00:04:51,270
She's picking it up at Monique's
on Thursday at 1:00.
99
00:04:51,434 --> 00:04:55,632
Now, because of this stupid cast,
I am gonna need help with the sewing.
100
00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:58,350
Wait, she's going back
to that boutique?
101
00:04:58,517 --> 00:05:00,542
Maybe I have another shot
at that story.
102
00:05:00,711 --> 00:05:01,939
I just need proof.
103
00:05:02,374 --> 00:05:03,705
Hey, guys. What's going on?
104
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,065
Hey, Roxie.
Do you know how to sew?
105
00:05:06,231 --> 00:05:08,961
Sew? A needle pulling thread?
106
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:10,414
Never mind.
107
00:05:10,587 --> 00:05:12,748
How about you, Sabrina?
Do you wanna work for me?
108
00:05:12,915 --> 00:05:15,884
Not even if the job was testing pie.
109
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:19,001
All I need you to do
is come to this boutique
110
00:05:19,165 --> 00:05:21,156
so that I can prove
that Babette is a shoplifter.
111
00:05:21,327 --> 00:05:23,318
You know, bring your camera,
just skulk around.
112
00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:24,546
Now, wait a minute.
113
00:05:24,719 --> 00:05:27,745
They tend to keep an eye on a brother
skulking in a ritzy women's boutique.
114
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,776
Fine, then give me your camera.
115
00:05:29,939 --> 00:05:32,874
I broke mine trying to kill a spider.
116
00:05:33,031 --> 00:05:35,192
Maybe you do deserve a break.
117
00:05:35,359 --> 00:05:37,384
Actually, you remind me
of myself when I came here.
118
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:40,114
Young, naive, desperate to succeed.
119
00:05:40,546 --> 00:05:42,275
- I'm not desperate to succeed.
Oh?
120
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:45,138
That is so not me. Ha, ha.
121
00:05:45,302 --> 00:05:47,099
Please, help me, James. Please?
122
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,163
- Okay, I'll help you.
- Thank you.
123
00:05:49,325 --> 00:05:51,418
You know, uh,
I've done surveillance before.
124
00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:52,712
Dangerous stuff.
125
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:55,943
Sean Penn whacked me right here.
P. Diddy slapped me right here.
126
00:05:56,109 --> 00:05:57,576
Celine Dion got me right here.
127
00:05:57,738 --> 00:05:59,103
She hit you?
128
00:05:59,268 --> 00:06:02,294
No, it's the Titanic theme,
it chokes me up.
129
00:06:03,124 --> 00:06:05,115
Welcome to Morganwear.
130
00:06:05,286 --> 00:06:06,548
Congratulations.
131
00:06:06,716 --> 00:06:09,150
You girls have the thrill
of working for a vibrant,
132
00:06:09,309 --> 00:06:13,370
cutting-edge company
focused on generation now.
133
00:06:13,532 --> 00:06:16,126
Now, don't be threatened
working for someone
134
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,453
so much younger
and more beautiful than you.
135
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,281
Oh, please.
136
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:24,179
When I was her age, I had a rack
you could bounce a wing nut off of.
137
00:06:24,871 --> 00:06:26,532
Where did you pick up
the bridge game?
138
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,065
This is my new work force.
139
00:06:28,229 --> 00:06:29,253
They're day laborers.
140
00:06:29,426 --> 00:06:31,917
I found them hanging out
in front of the fabric store.
141
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:34,885
We were waiting
for a bus to Atlantic City.
142
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,943
You know, Morgan,
this looks like unfair labor practice.
143
00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:40,130
You can't hold people
against their will.
144
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,427
No, not all of them.
145
00:06:43,026 --> 00:06:45,051
I started with eight.
146
00:06:48,713 --> 00:06:50,738
- Oh, there she is.
- Really?
147
00:06:50,907 --> 00:06:52,135
She don't look like a thief.
148
00:06:52,303 --> 00:06:53,895
She also doesn't look
like Harriet Tubman,
149
00:06:54,066 --> 00:06:56,796
but that didn't stop her from playing
the part in that one-woman show.
150
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,551
Okay, pretend like
you don't know me.
151
00:06:58,721 --> 00:07:01,451
Right. We all got Annie's memo
about that.
152
00:07:04,939 --> 00:07:07,965
Oh, this is kind of nice.
153
00:07:08,131 --> 00:07:10,964
Ahem, would this look good on me?
154
00:07:11,855 --> 00:07:13,447
Uh, are you asking me?
155
00:07:13,618 --> 00:07:16,178
Yeah. Be honest.
156
00:07:16,345 --> 00:07:19,837
Well, it's a little "get out of the trailer,
there's a twister coming. "
157
00:07:20,002 --> 00:07:21,765
Oh, you're right.
158
00:07:21,931 --> 00:07:25,958
Um, but, you know,
this blouse would look great on you,
159
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,714
and at this price, it's a steal.
160
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:30,439
I mean, a bargain.
161
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:33,545
That's gorgeous.
You have very good taste.
162
00:07:33,702 --> 00:07:34,760
Really? Thanks.
163
00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:37,026
Would you mind telling my boss that?
And my roommates?
164
00:07:37,193 --> 00:07:39,388
And, well, actually,
can I get it in writing?
165
00:07:39,555 --> 00:07:41,614
I'm Babette.
My friends call me Babs.
166
00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:43,607
I'm Sabrina.
My friends call me Sabs.
167
00:07:43,777 --> 00:07:45,142
Oh.
- They don't really.
168
00:07:45,307 --> 00:07:49,107
Oh. You know, it's so rare that I meet
someone down-to-earth
169
00:07:49,264 --> 00:07:51,061
and honest like you.
170
00:07:51,225 --> 00:07:53,489
Would you mind
helping me pick out a few things?
171
00:07:53,653 --> 00:07:55,917
Really? Sure.
172
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,605
And you have to get that blouse.
173
00:07:58,773 --> 00:08:00,138
My treat.
174
00:08:00,303 --> 00:08:03,830
Okay, then I'll just try
on this one little blouse.
175
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:06,320
And this and this.
176
00:08:06,488 --> 00:08:08,080
Ooh, I love this.
177
00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:10,081
Because, actually,
y'all about the same size.
178
00:08:10,245 --> 00:08:12,304
So, uh, could you try this on for me?
179
00:08:12,474 --> 00:08:14,669
You sure your mother
wants this for her birthday?
180
00:08:14,835 --> 00:08:16,427
Oh, yeah.
181
00:08:16,895 --> 00:08:19,489
Psst, psst, psst.
182
00:08:19,656 --> 00:08:20,850
May I help you?
183
00:08:21,019 --> 00:08:22,782
Uh, do you have
any changing rooms?
184
00:08:22,947 --> 00:08:24,710
You are standing right by them.
185
00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:26,036
Ah.
186
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,697
- Some of these women are so dumb.
- Mm.
187
00:08:29,199 --> 00:08:31,326
- Okay. I'll try on the teddy for you.
- Thank you.
188
00:08:31,493 --> 00:08:33,222
James, pay attention.
189
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,049
I'm working, I'm working.
190
00:08:35,217 --> 00:08:37,913
I love buying clothes,
but I hate trying them on. Don't you?
191
00:08:38,077 --> 00:08:39,271
It takes so long.
192
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:42,027
Tell me about it.
193
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,430
First, you gotta try stuff on.
194
00:08:45,226 --> 00:08:47,319
And take them off.
195
00:08:48,252 --> 00:08:49,776
And then if you need another size,
196
00:08:49,948 --> 00:08:52,712
you gotta go back
and get another one.
197
00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:58,728
Now, it's small and overpriced.
198
00:08:58,892 --> 00:09:01,383
Oh, I look terrible in this one.
199
00:09:01,553 --> 00:09:03,111
I doubt. You'd look great in anything.
200
00:09:03,282 --> 00:09:05,409
No, seriously,
this one will make me like a cow.
201
00:09:05,909 --> 00:09:07,240
It can't be that bad. Let me try.
202
00:09:12,392 --> 00:09:13,825
Ooh! Uh, I see what you mean.
203
00:09:15,252 --> 00:09:16,480
What?
204
00:09:16,649 --> 00:09:18,378
I said, "Ew, you're right. "
205
00:09:21,504 --> 00:09:23,062
- Any luck?
- Ugh.
206
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,963
No, everything was either too clingy,
too floofy or two paychecks.
207
00:09:26,126 --> 00:09:28,822
- How about you?
- No, struck out.
208
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,612
Really, huh?
209
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,938
So, listen,
do you wanna grab a bite?
210
00:09:35,935 --> 00:09:38,301
- You wanna go to lunch with me?
- Sure.
211
00:09:38,462 --> 00:09:40,726
I just... I feel like I have
this connection with you.
212
00:09:41,388 --> 00:09:43,117
And it will be fun.
213
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,841
Well, I guess I could go to lunch.
214
00:09:45,012 --> 00:09:47,572
I already packed mine, but bologna
keeps for a couple of days.
215
00:09:47,739 --> 00:09:49,798
Ha, ha. Afterwards,
maybe we'll swing by my spa.
216
00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:51,730
We'll make a day of it. Come on.
217
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,287
Look, Babette,
218
00:09:55,287 --> 00:09:56,481
I have to be honest with you.
219
00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:58,515
I'm a reporter for Scorch magazine.
220
00:09:59,277 --> 00:10:00,904
That guy over there,
he's a photographer.
221
00:10:01,073 --> 00:10:03,405
We're working on an article
about you being a shoplifter.
222
00:10:05,528 --> 00:10:06,756
At least I am.
223
00:10:06,926 --> 00:10:08,257
What are you talking about?
224
00:10:08,954 --> 00:10:11,388
I saw you take something
from here the other day.
225
00:10:11,548 --> 00:10:13,015
I don't want you to ruin your career
226
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:15,202
over some blouse
that will look stupid in two weeks,
227
00:10:15,371 --> 00:10:17,566
so put the stuff back
and I'll forget about the article.
228
00:10:17,732 --> 00:10:19,165
You guys in the media are all alike.
229
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:22,661
You try to tear us down to make
your own lives seem less pathetic.
230
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,310
No, I'm not gonna write the article.
231
00:10:24,482 --> 00:10:26,916
What makes you think I'm pathetic,
the bologna? It's not like I fry it.
232
00:10:27,076 --> 00:10:28,703
Miss Storm,
is this woman disturbing you?
233
00:10:28,872 --> 00:10:30,032
Ahh, I'll be fine.
234
00:10:30,201 --> 00:10:33,136
Just get the dress I ordered
so I can go.
235
00:10:33,494 --> 00:10:35,724
- Do not bother the famous people.
But I...
236
00:10:35,887 --> 00:10:37,684
I think you'd better leave.
- James?
237
00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:40,216
Dieter, and I don't know this woman.
238
00:10:40,376 --> 00:10:42,071
Well, at least let me get my stuff.
239
00:10:43,169 --> 00:10:46,400
I'm really sorry, Miss Storm.
Please...
240
00:10:46,561 --> 00:10:48,085
...consider this a gift from us.
241
00:10:48,257 --> 00:10:49,554
Thank you.
242
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,415
She was gonna take it anyway.
243
00:10:52,346 --> 00:10:55,042
I'm telling you, she's got stuff
in that bag. She's ripping you off.
244
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,965
If she had
merchandise, bells would be ringing
245
00:10:58,132 --> 00:10:59,861
and Gary Coleman
would be searching her bags.
246
00:11:00,261 --> 00:11:01,285
Come on.
247
00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:03,153
And please don't tell
anybody what happened.
248
00:11:03,319 --> 00:11:05,082
I really want to keep this very quiet.
249
00:11:07,809 --> 00:11:09,504
I didn't. I swear.
250
00:11:09,671 --> 00:11:10,797
James, a little help?
251
00:11:10,968 --> 00:11:13,698
Okay, but they're gonna do this
for free down at the precinct.
252
00:11:20,777 --> 00:11:22,506
Good morning, Cole.
253
00:11:22,673 --> 00:11:24,607
Hey, how you doing, Sabrina?
254
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:25,791
How's it going?
255
00:11:25,964 --> 00:11:27,761
So you heard.
256
00:11:27,926 --> 00:11:30,895
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
257
00:11:36,106 --> 00:11:37,471
Okay, I'm innocent.
258
00:11:37,636 --> 00:11:38,762
Just so you know,
259
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:42,060
I just got off the phone with our
publisher about your little escapade.
260
00:11:42,224 --> 00:11:45,387
- He screamed for five minutes.
- He's pretty upset, huh?
261
00:11:45,783 --> 00:11:47,978
Oh, he was getting
a deep-tissue massage.
262
00:11:48,143 --> 00:11:50,111
But for some reason,
he won't let me fire you.
263
00:11:50,271 --> 00:11:51,932
It's like you have some spell on him.
264
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,658
I don't. Oh, wait, hang on.
265
00:11:53,829 --> 00:11:55,194
No, I really don't.
266
00:11:55,358 --> 00:11:57,417
You are very lucky
you are not in jail right now.
267
00:11:57,587 --> 00:12:00,488
Yeah, because I'd really hate
to miss fall colors.
268
00:12:00,646 --> 00:12:02,113
Thanks for getting me off the hook.
269
00:12:02,275 --> 00:12:04,800
- Yeah, well, you're on borrowed time.
- Well, I was set up.
270
00:12:04,968 --> 00:12:06,162
She pretended to be my friend.
271
00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:09,425
She's a much better actor
in real life than she is on the screen.
272
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,888
Can I just give you some advice?
273
00:12:12,883 --> 00:12:14,373
Journalism rule number one:
274
00:12:14,545 --> 00:12:16,035
Never get too close to your subject.
275
00:12:16,207 --> 00:12:17,469
Rule number two:
276
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,264
Never shoplift on company time.
277
00:12:19,931 --> 00:12:21,762
You actually think
I stole something?
278
00:12:21,926 --> 00:12:24,326
Sabrina, it's cool. Everyone knows
what Jonathan pays you.
279
00:12:24,487 --> 00:12:26,978
- You do what you gotta do.
- Okay, first, I didn't do.
280
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,047
And second,
everyone knows what I make?
281
00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:30,233
Yeah.
282
00:12:30,406 --> 00:12:33,534
But hang in there,
Congress is gonna raise it next year.
283
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:37,263
James, you were there with me.
You know I didn't steal anything, right?
284
00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:39,515
Hey, hey, relax.
Just ignore them, okay?
285
00:12:39,683 --> 00:12:41,514
You and I both know
what happened.
286
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,738
- Besides, the camera don't lie.
- Thanks.
287
00:12:44,904 --> 00:12:45,928
Uh-huh.
288
00:12:46,101 --> 00:12:48,001
This came out
way better than I thought.
289
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,226
James.
290
00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:52,483
Hey, I've never been
a bad girl before.
291
00:12:52,651 --> 00:12:54,744
I look kind of hot.
292
00:12:55,877 --> 00:12:57,504
I don't hear sewing machines.
293
00:12:57,672 --> 00:12:59,537
Come on, ladies, back to work.
294
00:12:59,701 --> 00:13:01,692
But we were watching our stories.
295
00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:03,727
Yeah, yeah.
296
00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:05,949
You'll be seeing
The Guiding Light soon enough.
297
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,144
Come on, let's go.
298
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:10,146
What are you doing home?
299
00:13:10,308 --> 00:13:11,775
Well, I had to leave work.
300
00:13:11,937 --> 00:13:14,030
I wanted a peaceful lunch
without people leering at me
301
00:13:14,199 --> 00:13:15,826
like I was gonna steal their pickle.
302
00:13:15,993 --> 00:13:17,688
Sabrina, Sabrina.
303
00:13:17,856 --> 00:13:20,586
Do you understand
the consequences of your actions?
304
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,611
What if Babette Storm found out
that we were roommates
305
00:13:24,772 --> 00:13:27,297
and decided not to wear the dress
to her press conference?
306
00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:30,162
Oh, I'm sorry, Morgan.
I was only thinking of myself.
307
00:13:30,325 --> 00:13:33,158
Thank God you have me
as a role model.
308
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,812
Hey, there's my favorite cause.
309
00:13:36,976 --> 00:13:38,068
Oh, Roxie. Thank you.
310
00:13:38,239 --> 00:13:40,469
I can't believe you had a T-shirt
made up just for me.
311
00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:41,759
I had it since I was kid.
312
00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:43,693
It used to say, "Willy,"
but I scraped it off.
313
00:13:43,859 --> 00:13:47,022
- That's how much I believe in you.
- It could be worse, I suppose.
314
00:13:47,183 --> 00:13:49,174
It could say
"Spay and Neuter your Sabrina. "
315
00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:50,873
Come on, Sabrina.
316
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:52,941
Get even
with this cheap tramp actress.
317
00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:55,765
Call up the news stations,
post the truth on her website.
318
00:13:55,929 --> 00:13:56,953
Maybe you're right.
319
00:13:57,126 --> 00:13:59,458
Maybe she has some other secret
I could dredge up.
320
00:14:00,684 --> 00:14:01,981
Here she is. Look at this.
321
00:14:02,147 --> 00:14:04,741
Four years ago,
she was arrested for shoplifting.
322
00:14:04,907 --> 00:14:06,966
Whoa, how do you steal
a tanning bed?
323
00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:09,364
- Oh, first, she stole a truck.
- Hmm?
324
00:14:09,529 --> 00:14:11,190
The charges were dropped.
325
00:14:11,358 --> 00:14:14,191
But I bet I could use all this
to force a confession from Babette.
326
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,341
Where is she now?
327
00:14:20,070 --> 00:14:21,935
Look,
it's her trailer from the movie set.
328
00:14:22,098 --> 00:14:23,463
And there she is.
329
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,154
What's she doing?
330
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:28,451
What do you think?
She's stealing cable.
331
00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:30,271
Eh?
332
00:14:33,936 --> 00:14:35,927
Just leave my lunch and go.
333
00:14:36,097 --> 00:14:38,258
No, I'm here to talk.
334
00:14:39,289 --> 00:14:41,951
Oh, it's you.
335
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,582
What are we doing,
The Movie?
336
00:14:43,745 --> 00:14:46,236
- Are you ready to apologize?
- Apologize?
337
00:14:46,405 --> 00:14:48,396
I was trying to keep you
from getting into trouble.
338
00:14:48,566 --> 00:14:50,966
Now, everybody thinks
I'm a thief and a liar and an A-cup.
339
00:14:51,126 --> 00:14:52,684
I was stealing that bra for my sister.
340
00:14:52,856 --> 00:14:54,221
You think because you're a big star
341
00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:56,182
that laws don't apply to you,
Carla Bernstein?
342
00:14:56,347 --> 00:14:58,281
Well, you know,
you could have gotten me fired.
343
00:14:58,442 --> 00:14:59,704
You could have ruined my career.
344
00:14:59,872 --> 00:15:01,737
And I am fully capable
of doing that on my own.
345
00:15:03,263 --> 00:15:07,165
Look, I... I didn't mean
to get you in trouble.
346
00:15:08,683 --> 00:15:11,174
Would it help if I called your boss
and set everything straight?
347
00:15:12,275 --> 00:15:13,572
- That would be great.
- Okay.
348
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:16,673
And could you tell her
that you'll let me do a feature on you?
349
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:19,128
And, you know,
you never did buy me that blouse.
350
00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:21,282
Let's start with your boss.
351
00:15:21,452 --> 00:15:24,148
Dial the number and I'll get on.
352
00:15:24,311 --> 00:15:25,778
I'll just be in my trailer.
353
00:15:25,941 --> 00:15:27,431
Thank you.
354
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,062
Hi, Annie? Sabrina.
355
00:15:32,226 --> 00:15:33,693
Spellman.
356
00:15:33,855 --> 00:15:34,947
The new girl?
357
00:15:35,119 --> 00:15:36,984
Look, Babette Storm
has something to say to you.
358
00:15:37,147 --> 00:15:38,614
Hold on a sec.
359
00:15:39,209 --> 00:15:40,767
Babette?
360
00:15:41,104 --> 00:15:42,571
Babs?
361
00:15:43,132 --> 00:15:44,463
Elly May?
362
00:15:44,628 --> 00:15:45,652
Hey, ma'am.
363
00:15:45,826 --> 00:15:48,226
We just got a call that someone
stole Miss Storm's cell phone.
364
00:15:48,386 --> 00:15:50,149
Can I see that?
365
00:15:51,844 --> 00:15:53,175
Annie?
366
00:15:53,341 --> 00:15:55,366
Yeah, she'll have to get back to you.
367
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,153
You are an embarrassment
to this magazine.
368
00:16:01,321 --> 00:16:03,255
In my defense,
you thought that before this.
369
00:16:03,416 --> 00:16:04,610
She set me up.
370
00:16:04,779 --> 00:16:05,973
Why would I steal a cell phone?
371
00:16:06,143 --> 00:16:07,167
I have my own phone
372
00:16:07,339 --> 00:16:09,466
with way more minutes
than anybody could possibly need.
373
00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:11,965
Mostly nighttime and weekend
minutes, but what I want...
374
00:16:12,128 --> 00:16:13,755
Okay, could you...? Please.
375
00:16:13,923 --> 00:16:15,481
What I'm saying is I didn't do it.
376
00:16:15,653 --> 00:16:17,883
Jonathan has managed
to pull a few strings
377
00:16:18,046 --> 00:16:21,812
and Miss Storm has agreed not
to press charges as long you get help.
378
00:16:22,535 --> 00:16:24,002
Help?
379
00:16:27,756 --> 00:16:29,280
Help.
380
00:16:30,716 --> 00:16:31,842
You must be new here.
381
00:16:32,012 --> 00:16:33,104
Welcome to Klept-Anon.
382
00:16:33,276 --> 00:16:34,800
I'm Cliff.
383
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,862
I fell off the wagon at Macy's
on the way here.
384
00:16:39,028 --> 00:16:41,155
Think of it
as 100-percent-off sale.
385
00:16:41,854 --> 00:16:44,755
Grab some coffee.
We're about to get started.
386
00:16:50,998 --> 00:16:53,990
Everyone, we have a new member
joining our group tonight.
387
00:16:54,157 --> 00:16:56,284
Uh, would you like
to introduce yourself?
388
00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:00,277
Hi. I'm Sabs.
389
00:17:00,442 --> 00:17:02,376
Jane Sabs.
390
00:17:02,537 --> 00:17:04,368
And I am definitely not
a kleptomaniac.
391
00:17:04,533 --> 00:17:06,865
Mm-hm.
- I'm not.
392
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,789
Jane, we've all been in denial.
393
00:17:08,954 --> 00:17:11,923
But sooner or later,
you've got to confront your demons.
394
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,809
Oh, I've confronted demons.
395
00:17:13,976 --> 00:17:16,342
Big hairy demons
like you've never dreamt of.
396
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,097
But right now the demon I need
to confront is Babette Storm.
397
00:17:21,225 --> 00:17:22,522
You know Babette Storm?
398
00:17:23,419 --> 00:17:27,515
I love her.
I have been to all of her movies.
399
00:17:27,675 --> 00:17:29,233
All right, I snuck in, but...
400
00:17:29,671 --> 00:17:31,138
Well, she is a thief and a liar,
401
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,961
and she was horrible
as a submarine captain
402
00:17:33,129 --> 00:17:34,790
in that movie
Courage Under Water.
403
00:17:34,957 --> 00:17:36,652
Yeah, well,
she's the one that belongs here.
404
00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:38,481
I'm gonna prove it.
405
00:17:40,709 --> 00:17:42,199
Oh, sorry.
406
00:17:42,373 --> 00:17:45,604
I have one just like it at home.
I swear.
407
00:17:47,793 --> 00:17:49,590
Hello, little Salem.
408
00:17:49,754 --> 00:17:53,656
Granny May got you
some very special kitty candy.
409
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,779
Oh, thanks, sweetheart. Oops.
410
00:17:55,939 --> 00:17:57,167
Did you just speak?
411
00:17:57,336 --> 00:18:00,134
Uh, no, it's the dementia setting in.
412
00:18:00,295 --> 00:18:02,195
Oh, ha, thank God.
413
00:18:03,221 --> 00:18:04,916
Jeez, it's like a kiln in here.
414
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:07,415
You're running a sweatshop.
These conditions are deplorable.
415
00:18:07,577 --> 00:18:09,044
Oh, please, it's good for them.
416
00:18:09,207 --> 00:18:10,970
It keeps them sharp.
417
00:18:11,135 --> 00:18:13,831
Oh, Jeanette, don't eat the thread.
418
00:18:13,995 --> 00:18:15,587
Workers have rights too, you know.
419
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:18,014
Come on, girls,
you don't have to take this.
420
00:18:18,185 --> 00:18:19,311
Let's stage a walkout.
421
00:18:19,814 --> 00:18:21,679
Oh, nice try, rabble-rouser.
422
00:18:21,842 --> 00:18:23,207
They're not walking out on me.
423
00:18:23,372 --> 00:18:25,465
I've got their support hose.
424
00:18:26,065 --> 00:18:28,124
So in sum, I'd say Never, Always
425
00:18:28,293 --> 00:18:31,524
is a story of hope,
redemption and love.
426
00:18:31,685 --> 00:18:33,118
Plus, you get to see my buns.
427
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:34,872
Excuse me, excuse me.
428
00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:37,671
- Press coming through.
- We're all press.
429
00:18:37,836 --> 00:18:39,736
Okay,
then the shortest to the tallest.
430
00:18:40,164 --> 00:18:42,632
You always seem to bring out
the best in your co-stars.
431
00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:44,951
- How do you do it?
- Acting is like life.
432
00:18:45,118 --> 00:18:47,780
I always try to give more than I take.
433
00:18:47,945 --> 00:18:48,969
Oh, give me a break.
434
00:18:49,142 --> 00:18:51,042
I've got a question,
are you a shoplifter?
435
00:18:51,702 --> 00:18:54,102
Anyway, heh,
I've played many different roles,
436
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,959
and preparing for them
is always about the search for truth.
437
00:18:57,122 --> 00:18:58,384
Kind of how I live my life.
438
00:18:58,552 --> 00:19:02,215
- Ugh, anybody got a shovel?
- Could you sit down?
439
00:19:03,241 --> 00:19:05,004
Okay,
it's time for some straight answers.
440
00:19:05,169 --> 00:19:08,332
Whisper, mumble, scream or shout
Let the honest truth come out
441
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:11,088
What was it like working with
the up-and-coming star, Billy Pape?
442
00:19:11,254 --> 00:19:13,722
Oh, a dear, dear person,
443
00:19:13,881 --> 00:19:18,511
aside from his limited acting skills
and unlimited body odor.
444
00:19:19,168 --> 00:19:22,228
Um, is it true that you stole several
garments from the Monique store?
445
00:19:22,926 --> 00:19:24,416
I cannot tell a lie.
446
00:19:24,588 --> 00:19:29,082
For some inexplicable reason,
yes, heh, heh. Yes, I did. Ha, ha.
447
00:19:29,243 --> 00:19:31,234
And on Thursday,
did you put clothes in my bag
448
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:34,532
after I warned you that I was reporter
doing a story about your shoplifting?
449
00:19:35,228 --> 00:19:36,923
Uh, guilty. Ha, ha.
450
00:19:38,454 --> 00:19:39,546
That's all I got.
451
00:19:39,717 --> 00:19:41,378
What else can you tell us
about Miss Storm?
452
00:19:41,546 --> 00:19:44,709
Never give up an exclusive story.
453
00:19:44,872 --> 00:19:46,464
Rule number one
was never get too close...
454
00:19:46,634 --> 00:19:48,397
Okay,
so I haven't memorized all the rules.
455
00:19:52,985 --> 00:19:56,921
I said, "I never give up an exclusive
interview" and I ran right here.
456
00:19:57,308 --> 00:19:58,775
Yeah, we know.
457
00:19:58,937 --> 00:20:00,461
The press conference is webcast.
458
00:20:00,632 --> 00:20:01,929
Really?
459
00:20:02,096 --> 00:20:05,190
Want to see what you missed
by running here with your exclusive?
460
00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:07,652
Oh, my God. Billy Pape showed up?
461
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:10,409
The lead in the film
was originally Julia Roberts,
462
00:20:10,575 --> 00:20:13,669
but I gave her food poisoning, forcing
her to bow out at the last minute.
463
00:20:14,665 --> 00:20:18,795
I also cheat on my taxes,
ha, ha, and my husband.
464
00:20:18,954 --> 00:20:20,148
And I altered my father's will
465
00:20:20,317 --> 00:20:22,911
when I found out
he left all his money to charity.
466
00:20:23,077 --> 00:20:27,138
You see how your shoplifting story
kind of pales compared to this?
467
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:29,165
Nice going.
468
00:20:29,927 --> 00:20:32,225
Don't hate me
because I'm her favorite.
469
00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:33,988
What? You got another rule for me?
470
00:20:34,616 --> 00:20:36,083
Well, since you asked.
471
00:20:36,245 --> 00:20:37,678
Journalism rule number four:
472
00:20:37,841 --> 00:20:40,469
Never yell stop the presses
unless you're stuck in them.
473
00:20:41,332 --> 00:20:42,924
I guess I really blew it.
474
00:20:43,095 --> 00:20:45,928
Look, your instincts were right,
you broke a big story.
475
00:20:46,088 --> 00:20:48,488
You just broke it for 20 other writers.
476
00:20:49,878 --> 00:20:51,573
You're gonna do great.
477
00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:54,732
Hey, listen. I had a rough start too.
478
00:20:54,899 --> 00:20:57,367
It took Annie about a year
before she stopped picking on me.
479
00:20:57,526 --> 00:20:58,686
Well, what changed?
480
00:20:58,856 --> 00:21:00,721
You showed up.
481
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,479
Finally, someone appreciates me.
482
00:21:06,637 --> 00:21:09,504
Now that all your workers walked out,
how are you gonna fill your orders?
483
00:21:09,663 --> 00:21:11,995
Oh, I found even cheaper labor.
484
00:21:18,109 --> 00:21:21,203
Wait until PETA hears about this.
485
00:21:21,253 --> 00:21:25,803
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