All language subtitles for Sabrina s04e15 Love in Bloom.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,171 I can't figure out an original gift to get Harvey for Valentine's Day. 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:07,465 Cologne he'll never use. A red sweater he'll never wear. 3 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:10,469 A teddy bear holding a sign that says, "I heart you." 4 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,632 It's not easy coming up with something masculine, romantic and red. 5 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,307 Unless it's salmon. 6 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,476 Nothing says love like things that swim upstream. 7 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,596 [TOASTER DINGS, ZELDA GASPS] 8 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,939 Oh. I can't believe this finally came. 9 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,600 Oh, Sabrina, here is the perfect gift for Harvey: 10 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,485 A certificate for a special gondola ride through the Milky Way. 11 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,857 Which would be harder to explain, the flying gondola 12 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,035 or that I actually know a good burger joint on that side of the galaxy? 13 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,571 Oh, don't worry, a mortal won't remember the ride 14 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:41,666 but will be filled with a special feeling of love. 15 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,625 Like he's just sated himself on 40 pounds of coho. 16 00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:49,421 I remember when you sent for this. You were gaga over some mortal. 17 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:52,090 Mm. Ulysses S. Grant. 18 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,711 Oh, that's right. Good old Ulie. 19 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,131 - Whatever happened to him? - He got old and died. 20 00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:00,057 I can't believe you waited a hundred years for this. 21 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,307 Nothing's worth waiting... 22 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,223 Hey, it's got a coupon for free chocolates. 23 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,563 I know what I'm having for dinner. 24 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:13,943 But I don't think I'll redeem that free anvil coupon. 25 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,362 [GULPING] 26 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:52,442 Harvey is gonna love this magic gondola ride. 27 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,565 I just hope he didn't get me the same thing. 28 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,442 [BIRD CHIRPING] 29 00:01:57,409 --> 00:02:00,328 Ah. The first robin of spring. 30 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,827 That's him. Devil bird. 31 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,452 That miserable little magpie 32 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,580 has been keeping me up all night with his incessant chirping. 33 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,082 He must be stopped. 34 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,918 Oh, if only we had house cat to rid us of this terrible blight. 35 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,296 You're right. 36 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,377 What kind of feline am I? 37 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,305 Bird, prepare to be Salem-ated. 38 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,966 Sabrina, what if he actually catches that poor defenceless bird? 39 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,435 SALEM: Little help. Oh, boy. - Never mind. 40 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,852 [SALEM GRUNTING] 41 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,567 Whew. Hoo. 42 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:34,186 I think we should downplay Valentine's Day around Hilda. 43 00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:36,440 I just felt so sorry for her this morning. 44 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,609 I mean, you have Harvey and I have Willard. 45 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,531 If it's any consolation, I think she feels worse for you. 46 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:45,364 She's been so depressed ever since she had to send Daniel Boone back. 47 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:48,543 Now she just spends her days moping around the attic. 48 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,625 So you really never had an Indian friend named Mingo? Heh. 49 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,212 No, ma'am, there isn't much companionship in the wild. 50 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:57,669 Believe me, when a tree falls in the forest, I hear it. 51 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,588 Well, you can stay here as long as you like. 52 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,425 I mean, until we get bored of each other, 53 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,178 or my sister finds out. 54 00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:05,473 Look at this. 55 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:09,773 It's just addressed, "To my valentine." And it's not signed. 56 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:11,940 "Dear valentine, I wish I could express in words 57 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,399 how truly special you are to me." 58 00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:15,733 Harvey can be so sweet. 59 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,103 Sabrina. 60 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:21,742 Clearly this was written by a worldly, sophisticated, mature man. 61 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,536 My monkey. 62 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,119 Come on, this has "lovesick adolescent" written all over it. 63 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,489 [KNOCKS] 64 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,748 Good morning. Thought I could walk you to work. 65 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,241 Thank you for my valentine. 66 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,713 Valentine? I didn't send you a valentine. 67 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,875 But I did get you this stick of gum. 68 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,887 It's sugarless. And this watch. 69 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,928 Before I have to thank you for your high-tops, 70 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,509 Valentine's Day isn't until Monday. 71 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,634 I knew that. 72 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,597 I can't walk you to work, because I have to go to the mall 73 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,938 and get them to gift-wrap the stuff I already got you. 74 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,818 Oh, monkey, I'm so sorry you're sick. 75 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,065 Drink fluids. 76 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,648 I love you. 77 00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:01,734 He's got a cold and he's got no idea it's Valentine's Day. 78 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,442 Well, if Harvey didn't send it and Mr. Kraft didn't send it, 79 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,159 then it must have been sent for Aunt Hilda. 80 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,618 Sabrina, you're right. 81 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,535 And it couldn't have come at a better time. 82 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,914 [HILDA WHISTLING] 83 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,746 Do we still have any of that venison left? 84 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,586 It's a wonder she can get up in the morning. 85 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,964 Aunt Hilda, look what came for you in the mail. 86 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,300 An anonymous valentine from some secret admirer. 87 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:22,758 It couldn't be for me. 88 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:27,551 I'll be up in the attic making sure our wiring is up to code. 89 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:30,847 She's breaking my heart. 90 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:34,440 Relax, I don't want your powder pouch or your chaw of tobacco. 91 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,151 Valentine's Day isn't until Monday. 92 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,982 Good, because I'm fixing to make you a nice fur cap. 93 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,982 If I could just trap that pesky black varmint 94 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,616 I see scurrying around here. 95 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:46,195 That's our family pet, so if you're thinking of trapping him-- 96 00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:48,447 He loves peanut butter. 97 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,159 [CHIRPING] 98 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,661 Shut up, shut up, shut up. 99 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,827 Why must you keep tormenting me? 100 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,536 I've got bad news. That insane voice in your head is you. 101 00:04:56,755 --> 00:05:00,207 No, it's that bird. I know he's taunting me. 102 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,294 If I could just understand what he's saying. 103 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,088 BIRD: Hey, everybody, look at this pathetic tub of fur 104 00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:08,591 who couldn't catch a bird if his life depended on it. 105 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,597 Now it's personal. 106 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,980 One double vanilla latte with a dash of cinnamon to kick it up a notch. 107 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:18,358 Thanks, but who needs cinnamon when I got your smile. 108 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,684 [CHUCKLES] 109 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,143 [CASH REGISTER BEEPING] 110 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:25,320 The number one perk about this job, besides the low pay and bad hours, 111 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,328 is getting to flirt with every cute guy in Westbridge. 112 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,904 Hey, an anonymous valentine showed up at our house today. 113 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:34,000 - Maybe it's from one of these guys. - You got an anonymous valentine? 114 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:38,372 The girl with the devoted boyfriend also gets the secret admirer? 115 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,007 And they say life isn't fair. 116 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,884 We're out of fat-free muffins, 117 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,840 so push these calcium-rich cheese Danish. 118 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,428 So any big plans for Valentine's Day? 119 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,678 A gondala-riffic night out with Harvey. Nothing special. 120 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:56,519 Though it appears our Sabrina may have a secret admirer. 121 00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,809 Oh, really? Any ideas? 122 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,732 Like any secret admirer, he prefers to remain anonymous. 123 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,741 [HICCUPS] 124 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,573 You okay? 125 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:11,746 Oh. I've gotta stop wolfing down those pickled eggs. 126 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,578 Cute, and she eats like a trucker. 127 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,793 Apparently, if you're in love with someone, 128 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:22,297 even their involuntary muscle contractions are endearing. 129 00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,585 There are lots of ways of trapping a bird. 130 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,797 The simplest is the "box and the piece of string" method. 131 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,045 [SNICKERS] 132 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:32,059 Now, what animal would be slow enough to get caught--? 133 00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:34,552 Whoa! What happened? 134 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,763 I don't understand why you aren't more interested 135 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,731 in who sent you this valentine. 136 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,901 Because for every handsome, debonair man that might have sent it, 137 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,861 there's a guy with a plate in his head. 138 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,948 I just wanna see you happy. 139 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,651 I couldn't be happier. 140 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,201 Now, if you'll excuse me, 141 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,280 I'll be up in the attic. 142 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:54,159 While you're up there, could you grab me some buckshot, honeybee? 143 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,580 I wanna show Salem here how to load a musket. 144 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,001 I think honeybee's got some explaining to do. 145 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,881 - What does "stay in the attic" mean? - Don't worry. 146 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,338 Your cat said he'd warn me at the first sign of trouble. 147 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:07,253 Watch out, here they come. 148 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,387 - Hilda, I can't believe-- - Hold on. 149 00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:11,180 You wouldn't wanna hurt a person who... 150 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:14,635 Someone apparently loves very much. 151 00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,474 HARVEY: Hey. 152 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,603 Hope you're not still mad about Valentine's Day, 153 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:22,225 but I brought you a chocolate kiss and a real one. 154 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,355 [HICCUPS] 155 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,105 Number one cure for hiccups, a spoonful of sugar. 156 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:30,443 Yes, but only the special sugar we have at home. See you. 157 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,204 She's still mad. 158 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,041 This weekend, I'm buying myself a calendar. 159 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,409 Even though our paths only crossed for an instant, 160 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,205 you'll always have a special place in my heart. 161 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:44,955 Ditto. 162 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:53,262 Boy, I'm really gonna miss him. 163 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,390 And now I'm done. Do you wanna get pedicures? 164 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:58,175 You know, you should never have broken the Other Realm rules 165 00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,228 and kept him up in the attic all that time. 166 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,100 The basement was mouldy. 167 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,108 And now you're all alone. 168 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,317 Oh, you poor dear. 169 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,899 Interesting. You were less irritating when you were angry. 170 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,156 You are so brave. 171 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,321 I am not gonna rest until I find out who sent you this valentine. 172 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:20,541 How are you gonna do that? Interview every guy I've ever dated? 173 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:21,783 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 174 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,337 ZELDA: Excuse me. 175 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,332 All right, all right. 176 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:30,000 All the A's over by the cash register, please. 177 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:33,553 And have your handwriting samples out and ready for analysis. 178 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,176 I know this isn't the point of this exercise, 179 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:39,268 but some of these guys owe me money too. 180 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:42,314 It's not fair. I haven't used my magic, I haven't done a spell. 181 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:46,147 I haven't disobeyed my aunts, and yet I'm hiccupping sparkly pink hearts. 182 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:49,106 Yep, life's just one big adventure. 183 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,905 And speaking of adventure, 184 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:55,783 come with me deep into the bush as we stalk the elusive dickey bird. 185 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,035 Sometimes I think you work at being annoying. 186 00:08:58,247 --> 00:08:59,956 No, not really. 187 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,910 So that was a dead end. 188 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,619 But I think if we systematically retrace your steps 189 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:06,959 over the last three months-- 190 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:10,086 Sometimes I think you actually work at being annoying. 191 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:11,718 No, not really. 192 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:15,722 - Where have you been? - Uh-- 193 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,384 Sweaty brow, panicked expression, 194 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,344 frantically looking through the magic book. 195 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,761 - Just what every parent wants. - Look. 196 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:23,432 [HICCUPS] 197 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:27,559 Sabrina, this looks serious. What's the matter with you? 198 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,149 It's a very funny story. I don't know. 199 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:32,237 You put Sabrina to bed, I'll call Cupid. 200 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,528 - Cupid? - Cupid. 201 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:36,701 He handles all heart-related matters, literal or figurative. 202 00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:38,779 Who gives the second opinion, the Easter Bunny? 203 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,120 What's with the getup, bwana? 204 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,208 I'm going big-game hunting. 205 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,543 It looks like a big game doodied on your hat. 206 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,756 Yeah, well, it happened to Hemingway all the time. 207 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,248 [HEART BEATING] 208 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,004 SALEM: Wow, your heart's beating louder 209 00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,847 than the bass on a Deadhead's boom box. 210 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,136 Oh, I can't imagine why. 211 00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:01,095 My anxiety level is in "there aren't enough lifeboats" territory. 212 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,306 Finally. Where's Cupid? 213 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,602 Cupid's a little backed up with Valentine's Day, 214 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,600 so he had to send his assistant. 215 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,106 - Where's the patient? - Roland? 216 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:13,185 Okay, you've scared me, but I've still got the hiccups. 217 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,859 You know, some people collect stamps. 218 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,693 Other people seem to collect jobs. 219 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:20,112 Helping people find love is my true calling. 220 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,663 Plus, I already had the outfit. 221 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:23,830 So, what seems to be the problem? 222 00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,705 Well, my heart is racing, I'm hiccupping valentines 223 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:27,957 and you're in my bedroom. 224 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,789 How can you make all three go away? 225 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,465 Calm down. I'm sure Roland can help. 226 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,417 Sorry, I meant that to sound sincere. 227 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:36,835 [CHIRPING] 228 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,302 Now you mock me in front of my family? 229 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:40,547 Why, you... 230 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,507 ZELDA: Salem, no. 231 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:46,517 SALEM: Yick, ack, doolt! My spleen. 232 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:49,607 - Oh. SALEM: I'm okay. 233 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,143 He's got nine lives and I'm working on the only one I got. 234 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,277 Well, I really won't know anything until I open her up. 235 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,570 Open me up? 236 00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:01,443 I may be the only one concerned here, but he's not a doctor and I'm a bleeder. 237 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,490 The key to your heart. 238 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,242 No, that's to the Volvo. 239 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,158 Here it is. 240 00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:12,500 Allow me. 241 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,551 What are you gonna do? I knew I should've gotten The Club. 242 00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:18,345 ZELDA: There's the problem. 243 00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:20,512 Your heart is made of valentine's candy. 244 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:25,302 Oh, good, I was afraid it was gonna be something serious. 245 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:31,307 Okay, so I have a heart that's made of valentine candy 246 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,271 that says, "Be mine. No, be mine." 247 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,853 Why is this happening to me? I eat oat bran. 248 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,694 Not a priority, you might think about getting your hinges oiled. 249 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,696 Well, Roland, don't just stand there fingering your tunic, help her. 250 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:45,320 I'll see what I can find in the magic book. 251 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,449 I remember this from the training manual. 252 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,084 Your condition is very serious. 253 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,079 You must follow my instructions precisely. 254 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:52,375 What do I have to do? 255 00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:54,795 - First, take my hand. - Then what? 256 00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:56,039 Be patient. 257 00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,375 [HUMMING] 258 00:11:58,594 --> 00:11:59,875 Is this to make me feel better? 259 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,756 I don't know about you, but I'm in heaven. 260 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,181 - Get out. - What do you want from me? 261 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:07,470 I'm just a temp. These wings aren't even real. 262 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,229 ZELDA: Here it is. 263 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,189 "Candy Heart Syndrome." 264 00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,270 Well, Roland was right about one thing. 265 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:16,021 Your condition is quite serious. 266 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,277 A witch gets it only around Valentine's Day 267 00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,487 when two mortals are vying for her heart. 268 00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,242 Two? What two? 269 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,070 Harvey's the only one vying for my heart. 270 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,997 - At least before it was chewable. - There must be someone else. 271 00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:29,365 Hilda, I'm so sorry, 272 00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:32,460 but this means that that valentine wasn't for you. 273 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:33,791 It was for Sabrina. 274 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,330 Oh, no, I'm crushed. I can't go on. 275 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:39,837 Smirk, though your heart is breaking. 276 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,259 Oh, yeah, Aunt Hilda's problem's a lot more monumental 277 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,924 than the girl with the candy heart. 278 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,595 It's true. Sabrina's right. 279 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:49,183 We have to focus all of our attention and support on her. All of it. 280 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,851 SALEM: Help, emergency. Come quick. 281 00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:54,686 - Be right back. - It did sound dire. 282 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,522 Well, no one can say they coddle me. 283 00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:00,026 [SOBBING] 284 00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:02,321 Salem, what's the matter? 285 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:03,986 I killed him. 286 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,651 I landed on him when I fell out of the tree. 287 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:10,655 All I wanted to do was scare, humiliate and emotionally scar him for life. 288 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,328 I didn't wanna hurt him. 289 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:17,129 - He's still breathing. - Do birdie CPR, stat. 290 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:21,085 One, two, three, four, five. Breathe. 291 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,636 [EXHALES] 292 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:25,556 Sorry to keep harping about this, but it says in this book 293 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:28,475 that my symptoms are gonna get worse over the next couple of hours. 294 00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:29,971 How can they get any worse? 295 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,431 [HEART BEATING FASTER] 296 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:33,469 Well, that's one way. 297 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,149 Do you think anyone will believe I have a live ferret in my bra? 298 00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,103 He's alive. 299 00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:40,689 Thank you, big guy. 300 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:42,942 Okay, next crisis. 301 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,731 Sabrina, you've got to stop one of those mortals 302 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,191 from vying for your heart. 303 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:49,197 If you don't, you'll become cold and heartless 304 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,783 and unable to love anyone. 305 00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:52,582 - Not even Harvey. - What? 306 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,324 But how can I get a complete stranger to stop liking me? 307 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,579 I know. I gotta figure out who sent that valentine. 308 00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,584 I have an idea. 309 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,549 We'll check out every boy you ever met. 310 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:04,672 Oh, no. We're not going through that again. 311 00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:07,387 I suppose you have a better idea. 312 00:14:07,598 --> 00:14:09,425 Yes. I'm calling in a valentine expert. 313 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,386 No. 314 00:14:12,144 --> 00:14:13,769 Did you not hear me say no? 315 00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:17,598 Well, if it isn't the girls from Ungrateful Junction. 316 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,270 Can't handle this one without me, huh? 317 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,486 Is there some extra fee we could pay for you to drop the attitude? 318 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:24,776 Just tell me who sent this. 319 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:28,029 Give me one good reason why I should help you do anything. 320 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,323 Because if you don't, 321 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,156 your wings will no longer be on your back 322 00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,370 but someplace much more uncomfortable. 323 00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:36,418 Oh, well, I guess we have a deal, then. 324 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,334 Old cherub party trick. 325 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,758 Josh? Josh is my secret admirer? 326 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,847 And he still only pays me 5.25 an hour? 327 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,933 Well, there's a little matter of my fee. 328 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:57,729 Sabrina, you have to find Josh and get him to stop liking you. 329 00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:01,191 Unless you wanna be the person who wears their heart on their sleeve literally. 330 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,777 Hey, look, it stopped. I must be getting better. 331 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,021 ["LOVE IN BLOOM" PLAYING] 332 00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:09,116 I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but what's that music? 333 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:12,072 I think it's Jack Benny's old theme song, "Love in Bloom." 334 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,368 [SINGING] You know it isn't a dream 335 00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:16,917 It's love in bloom 336 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,751 Now, cut that out. 337 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,953 Okay, so the consensus is I'm not getting better. 338 00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:23,663 ["LOVE IN BLOOM" PLAYING] 339 00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:25,585 - Josh, I need to talk to you. - Hey, you're back. 340 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:27,426 Got that oesophagus under control? 341 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:32,265 What's with the cheesy Muzak? I thought the stereo was busted. 342 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,473 Can I use your jacket? I'm a little chilled. 343 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,518 I'll bring it right back. 344 00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:39,179 [MUSIC STOPS] 345 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:41,266 Okay, now its stopped. Am I going crazy? 346 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,433 No, you are. 347 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,856 What's with the jackets? 348 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:48,107 Uh-- Kleptomania, one of my many obnoxious qualities. 349 00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:50,692 You don't have any obnoxious qualities. 350 00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:52,695 Sure I do. Dozens. 351 00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,246 I can... 352 00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:55,576 Well, there... 353 00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:56,993 I can be so... 354 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,665 - Cute? - Really, you think so? 355 00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:01,378 No, no, no. Never. 356 00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:03,124 I am so the opposite of cute. 357 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,750 [CHUCKLES] 358 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:08,708 Curses, done in by my own cuteness and lack of obnoxious qualities. 359 00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:13,098 Well, if I can't get him to stop liking me, I'll just get him to like someone else. 360 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,927 Hey, Josh, have you ever noticed--? 361 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,267 [SINGS LOUDLY] It's love in bloom 362 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:21,224 Well, have you? 363 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,896 [MACHINE BEEPING] 364 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,646 SALEM: Is there anything else I can do? 365 00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:29,114 Fluff your pillow? Regurgitate a worm? 366 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:30,445 [CHIRPING] 367 00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,775 No, no more TV for you. 368 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,194 Not since you flatlined during Popular. 369 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,488 - Do you believe in love at first sight? - Maybe. 370 00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,914 Yeah, sure. I guess I'm something of a romantic. 371 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,879 Great. Hey, come here. 372 00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,624 - Do you see love? - No, 373 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:47,542 but I do see a very terrified customer. 374 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,129 [SINGING] Oh, no, it isn't the spring 375 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,461 It's love in bloom 376 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,507 - Sabrina, are you okay? - Yeah, fine. 377 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,556 Oh, what about her? She's cute. 378 00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,559 [SINGS] It's love in bloom 379 00:16:58,769 --> 00:17:00,928 What's the matter? Why do you keep singing that song? 380 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,807 I'm a crazy, insane person. 381 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,556 The person no one would ever have a secret crush on. Agree? 382 00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:06,766 Not really. 383 00:17:06,944 --> 00:17:08,487 But you should take the day off. 384 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,356 Relax. Get some sleep. 385 00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:11,818 Learn a new song. 386 00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:17,200 The colour's coming back to his beak. 387 00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:18,824 The insurance companies are right. 388 00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,750 Untrained and unqualified people can treat the sick. 389 00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,370 [RINGS] 390 00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:24,825 - Hello? SABRINA: Hey, it's me. 391 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,920 I wanted to let you know the music stopped. 392 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,330 Oh, that's great. 393 00:17:28,507 --> 00:17:29,753 [BIRD CHIRPING] 394 00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,340 Oh, is that stupid feather-butt dead yet? 395 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:34,090 When he finally kicks it, flush him. 396 00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:36,173 Sabrina, are you all right? 397 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,761 Hey, watch it, buddy, not everybody likes dogs. 398 00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:43,729 I swear, the blind think the world owes them something. 399 00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:45,897 - Something's wrong. - Oh, you think? 400 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,560 I don't have time to keep yapping with you broads. 401 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,978 I gotta go talk to Josh. I've been way too nice to him. 402 00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,489 Gotta tell the pathetic loser that he has gotta get a grip and move on. 403 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,528 Sabrina, wait. 404 00:17:56,869 --> 00:17:59,787 Oh, no, Sabrina's becoming heartless. 405 00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:02,910 If we don't do something soon, she'll be unable to love anyone. 406 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,831 We've gotta get Josh to stop liking Sabrina. 407 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,628 I think we both know what we have to do. 408 00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:09,119 If you must, you must. 409 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,921 This is really gonna cost you this time. 410 00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:16,338 Hey, Juan Valdez, we need to talk. 411 00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,307 Sabrina, how's your stomach? 412 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,681 I brought you another kiss. 413 00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:24,102 Well, they never said which boy I had to make stop liking me. 414 00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:27,231 Wait, Roland, you can't go in there dressed like that. 415 00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,061 College place. 416 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,565 I've got just the outfit. 417 00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:36,817 Oh, yeah, the wings would have been much less noticeable. 418 00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:39,073 There's Sabrina. 419 00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:41,238 She's with Harvey. I hope we're not too late. 420 00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:44,907 Wow, it sure is an awfully long list of things you don't like about me. 421 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,119 Did I mention "stating the obvious"? 422 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,248 There's Josh. Shoot him. 423 00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:50,964 He has to stop liking Sabrina. 424 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,463 What? And clear the way for farm boy? 425 00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:54,797 Are you kidding? 426 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,460 I've been waiting for Sabrina to tell him off for years. 427 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,720 Sabrina, what's the matter with you? 428 00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,800 Why are you saying all this? Don't you love me? 429 00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:04,426 Love? Ha! What's love? 430 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,804 No, everything is just fine. 431 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,808 If I can't have Sabrina, nobody can. 432 00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:11,481 I don't love. I don't love. 433 00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:13,652 If you won't do your job, then I will. 434 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,615 I don't love anyone but you. 435 00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:24,656 Hi, I'm Josh. Capricorn. 436 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:28,581 I enjoy long walks, foreign films and your eyes. 437 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,702 You did that on purpose. 438 00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:33,294 A frivolous rebound is exactly what you need. 439 00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:35,963 What I need is to be an only child. 440 00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:37,464 Tell me everything about you. 441 00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:39,879 Don't leave anything out. I'm already fascinated. 442 00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:41,722 Okay, junior. 443 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,012 I'm so sorry. 444 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:46,518 It must have been a weird reaction to that special sugar at my house. 445 00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:49,309 - Can you forgive me? - Of course. 446 00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,024 I knew it couldn't really be you. 447 00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:54,063 You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. 448 00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:56,487 Hey, farm boy. 449 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:57,812 Roland? 450 00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:00,564 - What's your cousin doing here? ROLAND: This. 451 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,448 Roland. Are you okay? 452 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:07,030 HARVEY: Miss Spellman, 453 00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:10,746 I never realised what a devastatingly attractive woman you are. 454 00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:14,875 Or that I'd ever use the word "devastatingly" in a sentence. 455 00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:16,420 Happy Valentine's Day. 456 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,635 And now it's time for the Valentine's Day massacre. 457 00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:28,051 ZELDA: Oh, aurora borealis. 458 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,306 Look at the stars, Harvey. 459 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,733 I'd rather see them reflected in your eyes. 460 00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:40,565 Come on, what are you, three, four years older than me, tops? 461 00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:42,616 Try 597. 462 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,529 Love can overcome that. 463 00:20:44,703 --> 00:20:46,531 Can I peel you another grape? 464 00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:48,449 Whatever. 465 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,950 Well, thank you for the worst Valentine's Day of my life. 466 00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:54,540 House calls are pricey. 467 00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:55,995 Besides, like I told you, 468 00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:58,842 everything will go back to normal after tonight. 469 00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:00,884 Milk Dud? 470 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,053 [BIRD CHIRPING] 471 00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:05,096 SALEM: Sing us a song of love. 472 00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,891 ROLAND: Sabrina, to paraphrase the great Rod McKuen: 473 00:21:09,061 --> 00:21:11,101 Love is like-- Ah-aah! 474 00:21:11,151 --> 00:21:15,701 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36850

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