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1
00:00:47,944 --> 00:00:51,573
"When two guys pull together,
it's teamwork!"
2
00:00:52,582 --> 00:00:56,245
"In foul or sunny weather, it's teamwork!"
3
00:00:57,254 --> 00:01:00,849
"What does it take to make
any business climb?"
4
00:01:00,924 --> 00:01:04,553
"You'll find it takes teamwork every time"
5
00:01:05,362 --> 00:01:08,490
"Incidentally,
your jokes'll kill the yokels"
6
00:01:08,598 --> 00:01:10,088
"It's teamwork!"
7
00:01:11,568 --> 00:01:15,265
"I love your hokey vocals, it's teamwork!"
8
00:01:16,239 --> 00:01:18,503
"Like Fred Astaire and Ginger and..."
9
00:01:18,575 --> 00:01:23,603
"Twice as sleek, we'll give 'em
that teamwork, cheek to cheek!"
10
00:01:24,915 --> 00:01:29,409
"Here we are, just like in Zanzibar"
11
00:01:29,486 --> 00:01:31,886
"Still nothin', still a star!"
12
00:01:31,955 --> 00:01:34,515
"That's quite a stab from old flab!"
13
00:01:35,192 --> 00:01:39,151
"They always pay us plenty for teamwork!"
14
00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:42,291
"We split it 80-20"
15
00:01:42,365 --> 00:01:44,959
- That's teamwork?
- Yours is tax-free!
16
00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:48,630
"When others start to part
and go off the beam"
17
00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:50,536
"Like Siamese brothers"
18
00:01:50,941 --> 00:01:54,638
"Like Siamese brothers"
19
00:01:54,711 --> 00:01:58,772
"We'll be on each other's team!"
20
00:02:19,069 --> 00:02:22,869
"No fuss about the billing, it's teamwork!"
21
00:02:26,977 --> 00:02:30,811
"The smallest type is thrilling,
it's teamwork!"
22
00:02:34,618 --> 00:02:38,315
"Although we hold each other in low esteem"
23
00:02:38,388 --> 00:02:40,549
"We're loaded with teamwork"
24
00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:42,817
"What's life without teamwork?"
25
00:02:42,926 --> 00:02:47,090
"Unless you've got teamwork,
there's no team!"
26
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,669
This is Hong Kong.
27
00:04:38,141 --> 00:04:42,134
A sprawling dragon nestled
on the soft underbelly of China.
28
00:04:43,013 --> 00:04:45,413
The flapping sails of its ancient junks...
29
00:04:45,482 --> 00:04:48,542
...form a glittering gateway to the Orient.
30
00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:50,743
Yes, Hong Kong.
31
00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:53,983
Where a teeming population
crowd its narrow streets...
32
00:04:54,057 --> 00:04:57,356
...while its people enjoy
the simple pleasures of life.
33
00:04:58,194 --> 00:04:59,422
Smoking.
34
00:04:59,763 --> 00:05:00,821
Eating.
35
00:05:01,064 --> 00:05:02,190
Laughing.
36
00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:03,865
Scratching.
37
00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:06,495
Sports-car racing.
38
00:05:07,871 --> 00:05:12,240
Yet beneath this placid facade,
Hong Kong wears another face.
39
00:05:12,542 --> 00:05:16,808
The inscrutable, sinister face
of mystery and intrigue.
40
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:19,740
This typically congested oriental street...
41
00:05:19,816 --> 00:05:23,252
...conceals American
secret-intelligence headquarters...
42
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,811
...where a top security agent
was summoned to hear...
43
00:05:25,889 --> 00:05:27,754
...some desperate information.
44
00:05:27,824 --> 00:05:30,884
Information which indicated
that the destiny of the world...
45
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,326
...dangled by the merest thread.
46
00:05:33,596 --> 00:05:35,029
I got over as fast as could.
47
00:05:35,098 --> 00:05:36,793
Okay, let's hear about it.
48
00:05:36,866 --> 00:05:38,959
- You sure you haven't made a mistake?
- No, sir.
49
00:05:39,035 --> 00:05:42,493
You're sure the Russians have sent a man
around the moon in a spaceship?
50
00:05:42,639 --> 00:05:43,697
Not one man, sir, two.
51
00:05:43,773 --> 00:05:44,797
- Two?
- Yes, sir.
52
00:05:44,874 --> 00:05:46,637
And you say they sound like Americans?
53
00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:48,473
Just listen to this.
54
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:50,844
Harry, is this fantastic?
55
00:05:50,914 --> 00:05:52,142
It's the only way to travel.
56
00:05:52,215 --> 00:05:53,239
What's our speed?
57
00:05:53,316 --> 00:05:56,217
About 23,000 miles an hour,
and we're parked.
58
00:05:57,854 --> 00:06:01,312
Now, why would they want
their astronauts to sound American?
59
00:06:01,391 --> 00:06:03,188
Russian humor, I suppose.
60
00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:05,454
Just another way of rubbing our noses in it.
61
00:06:05,528 --> 00:06:07,462
Then why haven't they announced it?
62
00:06:07,530 --> 00:06:09,930
It's obvious,
they haven't recovered their men yet.
63
00:06:09,999 --> 00:06:11,466
And their path of descent?
64
00:06:11,534 --> 00:06:14,367
Somewhere in the neighborhood of Hong Kong.
65
00:06:15,271 --> 00:06:16,329
Yes?
66
00:06:17,107 --> 00:06:19,507
Yes. Bring her in.
67
00:06:20,443 --> 00:06:22,274
Young lady outside, somewhat hysterical.
68
00:06:22,345 --> 00:06:25,041
Claims to know something about all this.
69
00:06:26,015 --> 00:06:27,915
Take your hands off me.
70
00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:30,418
Look, you've simply got to help me!
71
00:06:30,487 --> 00:06:33,012
Those men you're looking for
are in terrible trouble.
72
00:06:33,089 --> 00:06:36,889
If you don't do something about it,
they'll be dead within the hour.
73
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,326
The two Russians?
74
00:06:39,429 --> 00:06:41,761
They're not Russians. They're Americans.
75
00:06:41,831 --> 00:06:44,265
- And you know them?
- Of course I know them!
76
00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:47,303
- Who are they?
- Harry Turner and Chester Babcock.
77
00:06:48,104 --> 00:06:49,867
Turner and Babcock?
78
00:06:50,306 --> 00:06:51,671
Say, don't we know those names?
79
00:06:51,741 --> 00:06:53,231
A couple of ex-vaudevillians, sir.
80
00:06:53,309 --> 00:06:56,836
They're wanted for fraud by practically
every country in the Far East.
81
00:06:56,980 --> 00:07:01,110
And you mean to tell me these are the men
the Russians have sent round the moon?
82
00:07:01,184 --> 00:07:02,845
They were not sent by the Russians.
83
00:07:02,919 --> 00:07:05,752
- Certainly you're not suggesting...
- Nor the Americans.
84
00:07:06,022 --> 00:07:08,923
- Then who sent them?
- The Third Echelon.
85
00:07:09,526 --> 00:07:12,359
- The Third what?
- A third force.
86
00:07:12,529 --> 00:07:15,930
More desperate, more knowledgeable,
and infinitely more dangerous...
87
00:07:15,999 --> 00:07:18,092
...then either the Russians
or the Americans.
88
00:07:18,168 --> 00:07:20,398
How do you know of this force?
89
00:07:21,004 --> 00:07:23,837
Because until yesterday, I was a part of it.
90
00:07:24,774 --> 00:07:26,639
Look, you expect me to believe...
91
00:07:26,709 --> 00:07:29,200
...that these phonies
could be made into astronauts...
92
00:07:29,279 --> 00:07:31,770
...then sent round the moon
by some mysterious force...
93
00:07:31,848 --> 00:07:34,078
...more powerful than either us
or the Russians?
94
00:07:34,150 --> 00:07:37,119
Sir, I know it's incredible,
but you must believe me.
95
00:07:37,187 --> 00:07:38,950
Now, please listen to me.
96
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:43,015
It all started in Calcutta
about 10 days ago.
97
00:07:43,626 --> 00:07:47,323
Turner and Babcock were involved
in the latest of their frauds.
98
00:07:47,397 --> 00:07:49,865
As usual it was involved with space.
99
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:51,426
Hurry.
100
00:07:51,501 --> 00:07:54,993
Buy your tickets on the outside.
Get your stock on the inside.
101
00:07:55,205 --> 00:07:58,834
See the thrilling demonstration
of the one, the only...
102
00:07:58,908 --> 00:08:02,605
...the original, intercontinental,
interspatial, interplanetary...
103
00:08:02,679 --> 00:08:04,340
...Fly-lt-Yourself kit.
104
00:08:04,414 --> 00:08:06,814
Be the first man on your block
into outer space.
105
00:08:06,883 --> 00:08:09,681
Fly to the moon. Stake a claim. Now, hurry.
106
00:08:09,752 --> 00:08:12,687
What is it, boy? Oh, yeah?
107
00:08:13,723 --> 00:08:15,691
Oh, well, get your tickets!
108
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:19,091
The demonstration starts immediately.
Now, hurry!
109
00:08:23,433 --> 00:08:25,060
Hey, this thing's going to work fine.
110
00:08:25,134 --> 00:08:27,466
How about that brave native
we hired to fly it?
111
00:08:27,537 --> 00:08:29,869
- We've got a great crowd out there,
Chester. - Yeah?
112
00:08:29,939 --> 00:08:33,670
This is the biggest thing we've ever pulled.
Let's try on the helmet.
113
00:08:33,743 --> 00:08:36,439
- There we are!
- That fits nice, doesn't it?
114
00:08:36,779 --> 00:08:39,646
Look at that. Let's try the jacket.
Look at that material!
115
00:08:39,716 --> 00:08:40,876
Give me that good right arm.
116
00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:43,282
Is that native gonna love that?
He's gonna...
117
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,585
Here we go, now.
118
00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,145
Well, wait. What are you doing?
119
00:08:47,223 --> 00:08:48,622
We're gonna try on the pants.
120
00:08:48,691 --> 00:08:49,783
What about the native?
121
00:08:49,859 --> 00:08:52,453
You don't want to keep
400 paid-up stockholders waiting.
122
00:08:52,529 --> 00:08:55,692
- Waiting for what?
- The maiden flight of Fly-lt-Yourself.
123
00:08:55,832 --> 00:08:58,096
And who's going to fly the maiden flight?
124
00:08:58,167 --> 00:08:59,327
- You are.
- I am?
125
00:08:59,402 --> 00:09:01,768
The brave native flew.
You're all we've got left.
126
00:09:01,838 --> 00:09:04,306
I'm all I've got left,
and I won't spread it around.
127
00:09:04,374 --> 00:09:05,773
A flash about Fly-lt-Yourself.
128
00:09:05,842 --> 00:09:07,173
- What?
- Fly it yourself.
129
00:09:07,243 --> 00:09:08,505
Now, Ches boy...
130
00:09:08,578 --> 00:09:10,739
"Ches boy!" All of a sudden,
I'm "Ches boy."
131
00:09:10,813 --> 00:09:13,304
Every time you want me to risk my life,
I'm "Ches boy."
132
00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:15,476
- Don't blow a gasket.
- Let me say one thing.
133
00:09:15,552 --> 00:09:17,383
- You know I hated to ask you.
- "Ches boy!"
134
00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:21,082
- I didn't want to ask you.
- I can see the tears forming in your wallet.
135
00:09:21,157 --> 00:09:24,422
Only one thing keeps me from going up
and flying that thing myself.
136
00:09:24,494 --> 00:09:26,359
- I know. You're chicken.
- No, Ches...
137
00:09:26,429 --> 00:09:29,125
Let me say one thing.
I'm as chicken as you. Chickener.
138
00:09:29,198 --> 00:09:30,825
Chester, the clothes won't fit me.
139
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:32,492
Okay, we'll make a few alterations.
140
00:09:32,569 --> 00:09:33,661
What're you doing?
141
00:09:33,736 --> 00:09:35,704
There. We'll have your head reblocked...
142
00:09:35,772 --> 00:09:37,797
...pump you up a little bit
and you're ready.
143
00:09:37,874 --> 00:09:40,035
And I'll cheer. I'll be on the ground.
144
00:09:40,109 --> 00:09:42,373
You know that I want to go, but I can't.
145
00:09:42,445 --> 00:09:44,913
- Why not?
- I've got to be on the ground.
146
00:09:44,981 --> 00:09:46,243
- What for?
- For the landing.
147
00:09:46,316 --> 00:09:48,716
For the public relations
and the press and magazines.
148
00:09:48,785 --> 00:09:51,379
And the splints and the plasma. No, not me.
149
00:09:51,454 --> 00:09:53,581
Get another pigeon. Not me, boy. No, sir.
150
00:09:53,656 --> 00:09:55,817
All right, if that's the way you feel
about it.
151
00:09:55,892 --> 00:09:57,826
That's the way I feel about it.
152
00:09:57,894 --> 00:10:02,490
All those 400 paid-up stockholders,
all that loot. Gonna blow it.
153
00:10:02,565 --> 00:10:04,396
Blow it? Why don't we take a powder?
154
00:10:04,467 --> 00:10:05,832
Gaze.
155
00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:10,364
They're here to see
the people get their money's worth...
156
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,135
...or their money back.
157
00:10:12,208 --> 00:10:15,041
If only I could get my hands
on that brave native...
158
00:10:15,111 --> 00:10:16,305
...l'd go with him.
159
00:10:16,379 --> 00:10:19,746
Chester, I give you my solemn word.
This time it's not dangerous.
160
00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:22,910
Not dangerous? You said that
when you shot me out of a cannon.
161
00:10:22,986 --> 00:10:25,079
When you dropped me in a tank
with an octopus.
162
00:10:25,154 --> 00:10:27,987
When you had me wrestle a gorilla.
"It's not dangerous."
163
00:10:28,057 --> 00:10:32,790
I'm not going. I'm through.
I've had it. So forget it, Charlie!
164
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,327
Now what are you worrying about?
165
00:10:39,402 --> 00:10:41,336
I don't like the location of the propeller.
166
00:10:41,404 --> 00:10:42,393
Why not?
167
00:10:42,472 --> 00:10:44,667
I don't like things going on behind my back.
168
00:10:44,741 --> 00:10:47,107
You're going to soar, soar just like a bird.
169
00:10:47,176 --> 00:10:49,610
I hope I drop an egg, on guess who.
170
00:10:49,746 --> 00:10:52,146
Why do I always have to do
the dangerous stuff?
171
00:10:52,215 --> 00:10:54,410
Just the nature of our relationship,
dear boy.
172
00:10:54,484 --> 00:10:58,113
One of us has the brains,
one of us has the brawn.
173
00:10:58,187 --> 00:11:00,087
Just like one's firm...
174
00:11:00,289 --> 00:11:01,381
...the other's flab.
175
00:11:01,457 --> 00:11:04,324
You got a program?
So far I don't recognize anyone.
176
00:11:04,694 --> 00:11:06,594
Don't get sore at me.
177
00:11:06,729 --> 00:11:07,753
It's a plot point.
178
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:10,196
Besides, this whole deal's
going to be a cinch.
179
00:11:10,266 --> 00:11:12,962
Everything's a cinch,
and I wind up on crutches.
180
00:11:13,036 --> 00:11:15,368
Don't I always get you
the best medical attention?
181
00:11:15,438 --> 00:11:18,202
Yeah, like that doctor you got me
in Bombay last month.
182
00:11:18,274 --> 00:11:20,640
How was I going to know
he was an elephant doctor?
183
00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:23,270
You should have known
by the size of his thermometer.
184
00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:25,413
Yes, it was a bit large.
185
00:11:25,481 --> 00:11:27,449
When he shook it, I was still on it.
186
00:11:27,617 --> 00:11:29,812
I think he used to be a pole-vaulter.
187
00:11:29,886 --> 00:11:31,854
You don't have to tell me that.
188
00:11:32,288 --> 00:11:33,812
Well, here we go.
189
00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:37,018
Wait. How high am I going to go?
190
00:11:37,293 --> 00:11:39,352
- Only 200 feet.
- 200 feet!
191
00:11:39,429 --> 00:11:41,329
Yes, you'll make history like Lindbergh!
192
00:11:41,397 --> 00:11:43,627
Lindbergh had a plane,
not a malted-milk machine!
193
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,168
Don't worry, everything will be fine.
Let's go, boys!
194
00:11:46,235 --> 00:11:48,601
Here we go. Pull it back.
195
00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:51,838
Hey! Wait a minute. I don't like this.
196
00:11:51,908 --> 00:11:53,876
Get out of there. Contact!
197
00:11:56,279 --> 00:11:57,303
Let's point him.
198
00:11:57,380 --> 00:12:00,008
Is there an insurance machine around here?
199
00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:02,244
Stop worrying. Everything's all right.
200
00:12:02,318 --> 00:12:03,649
Happy landings, Buster.
201
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,689
I don't know what you're so happy about.
You're not in my will.
202
00:12:06,756 --> 00:12:09,247
Release the feet, let him go.
203
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,520
Geronimo!
204
00:12:36,552 --> 00:12:37,712
Hello.
205
00:12:38,087 --> 00:12:39,486
What's that?
206
00:12:40,223 --> 00:12:41,485
Chester.
207
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,324
Who are you?
208
00:12:43,526 --> 00:12:44,584
Who am I?
209
00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,127
Yes. You seem like...
210
00:12:46,195 --> 00:12:47,560
...a nice, pleasant fellow.
211
00:12:47,630 --> 00:12:50,428
Friendly, saggy, and a little overdressed.
212
00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:53,625
Chester, I'm your partner, Harry Turner.
213
00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:56,428
- Harry?
- Yeah. Harry Turner. Your pal.
214
00:12:56,572 --> 00:12:57,664
Pal?
215
00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,775
Chester, for 20 years,
we've been bosom friends.
216
00:13:00,843 --> 00:13:02,037
Bosom?
217
00:13:02,245 --> 00:13:03,644
What's that?
218
00:13:03,946 --> 00:13:06,141
You have lost your memory, haven't you?
219
00:13:06,315 --> 00:13:08,806
Come on, Chester, try and remember.
Try real hard.
220
00:13:08,885 --> 00:13:10,352
Who am I, now?
221
00:13:10,486 --> 00:13:13,387
You look friendly and fatherly.
222
00:13:13,589 --> 00:13:14,681
Are you my father?
223
00:13:14,757 --> 00:13:17,123
- No, I'm not your father.
- You're not my father.
224
00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:18,922
Could you possibly be my mother?
225
00:13:18,995 --> 00:13:20,724
We're not even sure you had one.
226
00:13:20,863 --> 00:13:24,299
Got to get something to jolt your memory.
Here.
227
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,065
Who's that?
228
00:13:27,036 --> 00:13:29,732
I don't know,
but give me a stick and I'll kill it!
229
00:13:31,007 --> 00:13:32,998
Think carefully. Who does that look like?
230
00:13:33,075 --> 00:13:36,101
I don't know. A nice, handsome fellow.
Dashing, devil-may-care.
231
00:13:36,179 --> 00:13:38,044
Irresistible to women.
232
00:13:38,447 --> 00:13:39,914
And you've never heard of "bosom"?
233
00:13:39,982 --> 00:13:41,142
Never.
234
00:13:41,551 --> 00:13:44,076
Boy! We've got a lot of work to do.
235
00:13:45,221 --> 00:13:46,620
Never mind!
236
00:13:47,023 --> 00:13:50,754
So Harry Turner desperately tried
to regain his friend's memory.
237
00:13:50,827 --> 00:13:54,991
He took him to the most highly
respected neurologist in India.
238
00:14:06,108 --> 00:14:07,803
What is it, Doctor?
239
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,639
Terrible heartburn.
240
00:14:10,713 --> 00:14:14,149
Put too much curry in my cornflakes,
you understand. One moment please.
241
00:14:14,217 --> 00:14:16,845
Don't mind if I smarten myself up
in front of you. Now.
242
00:14:16,919 --> 00:14:18,079
Comes the examination.
243
00:14:18,154 --> 00:14:20,486
Please, taking that down a minute.
Now. One second.
244
00:14:20,556 --> 00:14:21,921
Looking in here.
245
00:14:22,058 --> 00:14:24,026
My goodness gracious me!
246
00:14:24,727 --> 00:14:26,718
Would you look in the other ear, please?
247
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:28,018
Well?
248
00:14:28,097 --> 00:14:29,587
I can see you.
249
00:14:29,665 --> 00:14:31,030
That's strange, I can see you.
250
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,863
That's since I put in air-conditioning.
251
00:14:32,935 --> 00:14:35,597
- What do I look like?
- You look like you need a doctor.
252
00:14:35,671 --> 00:14:38,162
I don't know where
I could find a doctor at this time.
253
00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:40,402
Will you please get on with the examination?
254
00:14:40,476 --> 00:14:41,738
No. Tell you what I'll do.
255
00:14:41,811 --> 00:14:43,904
- What?
- I will get on with my examination.
256
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:48,542
The most important point at this stage
of the proceedings is the matter of the fee.
257
00:14:48,618 --> 00:14:50,415
Since you are fine American gentlemen...
258
00:14:50,486 --> 00:14:53,853
...I am offering you my special
European fee of 1,200 rupees.
259
00:14:53,923 --> 00:14:55,117
1,200 rupees?
260
00:14:55,191 --> 00:14:57,682
Right. Open your mouth and say...
261
00:15:00,263 --> 00:15:03,892
You are suffering from a severe attack
of teeth and two cavities.
262
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,261
I will fill them for you for 600 rupees.
263
00:15:06,335 --> 00:15:08,769
- Are you a doctor or a dentist?
- What do you need?
264
00:15:08,838 --> 00:15:11,466
- I need to get my memory back.
- Just one moment, please.
265
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:14,304
Could you use some French postcards?
266
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:15,934
- No.
- Pity.
267
00:15:16,012 --> 00:15:17,809
Slightly used Havana cigar?
268
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,370
No.
269
00:15:19,815 --> 00:15:22,545
Underwater inflatable bust of Yogi Berra?
270
00:15:22,685 --> 00:15:23,709
No.
271
00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:25,344
Pity. It's going for a song.
272
00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:30,088
Thank you very much for the...
273
00:15:31,928 --> 00:15:33,896
- And I'm the patient?
- That's what I thought.
274
00:15:33,963 --> 00:15:36,397
Come on.
We want to get this fellow's memory back.
275
00:15:36,465 --> 00:15:37,932
Will you get on with the therapy?
276
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,695
No, but I'll tell you what I do.
277
00:15:39,769 --> 00:15:41,430
- What?
- I'll get on with the therapy.
278
00:15:41,504 --> 00:15:45,463
First of all, we have the special all-lndia
close-up eye-test reading chart.
279
00:15:45,541 --> 00:15:47,975
Read from the fourth line down.
Thank you very much.
280
00:15:48,044 --> 00:15:51,172
"I owe you 1,300 rupees."
281
00:15:51,247 --> 00:15:53,374
1,300? A minute ago it was 1,200.
282
00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:55,940
You should have jumped at it
when you had the chance.
283
00:15:56,018 --> 00:15:58,043
Doctor, there's nothing wrong with my eyes.
284
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,112
No, as a matter of fact,
you've got very beautiful eyes.
285
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:04,091
Never mind. I'll tell you what I will do.
286
00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:07,289
I will start the special long-distance
eye test now.
287
00:16:07,363 --> 00:16:09,558
Where's the sausages in here?
288
00:16:15,538 --> 00:16:17,438
I'm so sorry. It's my mother.
289
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,267
Sorry.
290
00:16:20,176 --> 00:16:21,609
Now then. Here.
291
00:16:21,677 --> 00:16:23,042
I'm giving you the eye test...
292
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:26,570
...constructed for American
gentlemen visiting our country. Now then.
293
00:16:26,649 --> 00:16:29,311
One, two, three, fourth line down.
Read it, please.
294
00:16:29,485 --> 00:16:32,477
- But that's Indian. I can't read Indian.
- I'll read it for you.
295
00:16:32,555 --> 00:16:36,082
No, better still, I'll play it for you.
Wait a minute.
296
00:16:39,495 --> 00:16:40,894
Just a second.
297
00:16:41,097 --> 00:16:43,793
Damn old flies. They get everywhere,
you know?
298
00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:02,849
Hey, Doc!
299
00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:06,149
- What? Don't worry about that.
- Don't worry? What if he bites me?
300
00:17:06,222 --> 00:17:08,747
Nothing to worry about.
If he should give you a nip...
301
00:17:08,824 --> 00:17:12,225
...all you do is get hold of your bowie
knife, make a cut on here...
302
00:17:12,294 --> 00:17:14,762
...suck out the poison and spit it away.
Very simple.
303
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:17,560
But what if he bites me
in a place where I can't reach?
304
00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:20,631
That is when you find out
who your real friends are.
305
00:17:21,203 --> 00:17:22,192
Let's get out of here.
306
00:17:22,271 --> 00:17:24,330
No, seriously, please, listen to me.
307
00:17:24,407 --> 00:17:27,240
If you want to get your memory back,
there's one place to go.
308
00:17:27,309 --> 00:17:28,708
In the mountains of Tibet.
309
00:17:28,778 --> 00:17:30,746
A lamasery, wonderful place.
310
00:17:30,813 --> 00:17:33,179
Instantly give you a secret herb,
back comes memory.
311
00:17:33,249 --> 00:17:35,649
- You're sure of this?
- Dear fellow, absolutely sure.
312
00:17:35,718 --> 00:17:38,949
Once I had a terrible attack
of the can't-remember-nothing...
313
00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:42,286
...my name, who I was, what I was doing,
where I am, what's going on.
314
00:17:42,358 --> 00:17:45,850
Then I took the secret herb.
Instantly, back came everything. Wonderful.
315
00:17:45,928 --> 00:17:47,452
Where is this place?
316
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,254
I'm sorry, I can't remember.
317
00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:51,993
- Let's get out of here.
- Don't worry.
318
00:17:54,303 --> 00:17:56,828
All right, Sam, let's have some jazz, man.
319
00:17:58,874 --> 00:18:01,900
The boys consulted another
doctor and discovered...
320
00:18:01,977 --> 00:18:05,879
...there really was such a lamasery,
where memory could be restored.
321
00:18:05,948 --> 00:18:07,745
En route to the lamasery...
322
00:18:07,817 --> 00:18:11,480
...the boys booked passage on a plane
that departed from Calcutta.
323
00:18:11,554 --> 00:18:14,819
It was in that airport that
my path was destined to cross...
324
00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:16,915
...that of Babcock and Turner.
325
00:18:16,992 --> 00:18:20,052
I had been sent there to
contact one of our secret agents.
326
00:18:20,129 --> 00:18:23,098
He was returning from Moscow,
where he had just stolen...
327
00:18:23,165 --> 00:18:26,066
...the top-secret formula
for the Russian rocket fuel...
328
00:18:26,135 --> 00:18:27,500
...when...
329
00:18:27,736 --> 00:18:30,967
I am being followed, so listen carefully.
I can only say this once.
330
00:18:31,107 --> 00:18:33,439
Here is the formula.
You will microfilm it...
331
00:18:33,509 --> 00:18:36,034
...destroy these papers
and send the film to Hong Kong.
332
00:18:36,112 --> 00:18:37,136
Very well.
333
00:18:37,213 --> 00:18:39,078
- Have you made all the arrangements?
- Yes.
334
00:18:39,148 --> 00:18:41,616
- Who's the photographer?
- That's no concern of yours.
335
00:18:41,684 --> 00:18:45,142
You'll identify him by three concentric
circles on his camera bag.
336
00:18:45,221 --> 00:18:46,381
Three concentric circles?
337
00:18:46,455 --> 00:18:48,616
He will contact you right here
in the airport.
338
00:18:48,691 --> 00:18:51,057
- You mustn't fail.
- Don't worry.
339
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:04,000
I hope that doctor's right.
340
00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:06,633
- You sure I'll get my memory back?
- That's what he said.
341
00:19:06,709 --> 00:19:08,336
What if I only get part of it back?
342
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:11,402
All I want you to get back
is the part where you left our money.
343
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,210
What about women?
What if I don't remember them?
344
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:17,116
We'll send you to school.
Learning can be fun.
345
00:19:17,186 --> 00:19:18,380
- No!
- Yes.
346
00:19:18,921 --> 00:19:20,889
Suppose I should meet someone right now.
347
00:19:20,956 --> 00:19:23,151
What did I do? How did I used to
get started?
348
00:19:23,225 --> 00:19:26,558
You were electric.
You overwhelmed them with your personality.
349
00:19:26,629 --> 00:19:28,654
- You used to give them the suave smile.
- Yeah?
350
00:19:28,731 --> 00:19:30,028
- The raised eyebrow.
- No.
351
00:19:30,099 --> 00:19:32,567
- The knowing wink.
- Yeah, and then?
352
00:19:32,735 --> 00:19:35,465
No, you're not ready for "and then" yet.
353
00:19:35,538 --> 00:19:37,529
- And that's all there was to it?
- That's all.
354
00:19:37,606 --> 00:19:39,301
Just the suave smile?
355
00:19:40,009 --> 00:19:41,738
- The raised eyebrow?
- Yes.
356
00:19:41,810 --> 00:19:43,437
- The knowing wink?
- That's it.
357
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,679
Steady!
358
00:19:45,748 --> 00:19:48,080
You almost sold me there, you rascal you.
359
00:19:48,150 --> 00:19:49,208
I'm hooked!
360
00:19:49,285 --> 00:19:51,185
Steady, don't waste none of that.
361
00:19:51,253 --> 00:19:52,914
- I can't get out of it.
- No. Come on.
362
00:19:52,988 --> 00:19:55,821
Listen, I'll check on the tickets,
and you get the bags.
363
00:19:56,025 --> 00:19:57,492
- Bags?
- Yeah, the luggage.
364
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,324
That stuff there. Come on. Look alive!
365
00:20:18,814 --> 00:20:21,180
Let's see. There was a suave smile.
366
00:20:23,819 --> 00:20:25,616
The knowing wink.
367
00:20:29,391 --> 00:20:30,688
And then...
368
00:20:34,296 --> 00:20:36,787
I've got a feeling the "and then" is
the best part.
369
00:20:37,566 --> 00:20:39,431
I hope I'm ready for it.
370
00:20:40,636 --> 00:20:42,797
Do you think we're being watched?
371
00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:44,031
Definitely.
372
00:20:44,106 --> 00:20:45,767
Then we'll have to hurry.
373
00:20:45,908 --> 00:20:48,342
- Have we got time?
- If you work fast.
374
00:20:48,410 --> 00:20:50,241
- I'll do my best.
- Good.
375
00:20:50,312 --> 00:20:52,780
- I've got the room ready at the hotel.
- Good.
376
00:20:52,848 --> 00:20:55,282
- I've made all the arrangements.
- Fine.
377
00:20:55,351 --> 00:20:57,581
- The shades are all drawn.
- Very sensible.
378
00:20:57,653 --> 00:20:59,814
And we can lock the door from the inside.
379
00:20:59,888 --> 00:21:03,346
Good. I'd hate to get a crowd
until I get the hang of it.
380
00:21:04,293 --> 00:21:05,817
So much depends on you.
381
00:21:05,894 --> 00:21:08,362
Are you sure you've done
this sort of thing before?
382
00:21:08,430 --> 00:21:09,954
I must have.
383
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:13,031
When do we start?
384
00:21:13,102 --> 00:21:14,296
Right now!
385
00:21:15,271 --> 00:21:18,763
Darling, it's so wonderful to see you again!
386
00:21:22,544 --> 00:21:24,671
- You've got it!
- I know it.
387
00:21:25,547 --> 00:21:27,208
- Don't lose it!
- Don't worry.
388
00:21:27,283 --> 00:21:29,808
- See you at the hotel.
- Pull the shades, lock the door.
389
00:21:29,885 --> 00:21:31,409
- One final thing.
- Yes?
390
00:21:31,487 --> 00:21:33,352
In case I'm late, go ahead without me.
391
00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:35,151
Fine, I'll do that.
392
00:21:41,597 --> 00:21:44,395
- What was that about?
- I think I'm ready for the "and then."
393
00:21:44,466 --> 00:21:47,867
You've passed "and then."
You're all the way up to "How about that?"
394
00:21:47,936 --> 00:21:51,463
I got a date at the hotel with
the shades drawn and the doors locked.
395
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:52,598
I can't believe this.
396
00:21:52,675 --> 00:21:55,075
She said if she was late,
I should start without her.
397
00:21:55,144 --> 00:21:56,304
Now I believe it.
398
00:21:56,378 --> 00:21:57,606
Come on.
399
00:21:59,615 --> 00:22:02,175
- What are you doing with that?
- You told me it was ours.
400
00:22:02,251 --> 00:22:06,085
Not that one. We'd better put it back.
Come on, we'll be late for the plane.
401
00:22:09,625 --> 00:22:12,719
We may not need the plane.
I think I'm getting it back.
402
00:22:21,603 --> 00:22:23,503
We need the plane.
403
00:22:26,608 --> 00:22:29,338
Babcock and Turner's plane
had already taken off...
404
00:22:29,411 --> 00:22:31,504
...when I discovered my mistake.
405
00:22:31,580 --> 00:22:34,811
I also learned that the two men
had booked round-trip tickets...
406
00:22:34,883 --> 00:22:36,748
...and would be back within a week.
407
00:22:36,852 --> 00:22:39,446
There was nothing I could do but wait.
408
00:22:39,755 --> 00:22:41,848
I would have been more anxious
if I'd known...
409
00:22:41,924 --> 00:22:44,586
...they were heading
for the desolate Kulrabi Mountains...
410
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:48,387
...and the distant fabled lamasery
at Jaipuri.
411
00:22:53,268 --> 00:22:55,327
Well, it's clearing up, isn't it?
412
00:22:55,404 --> 00:22:58,237
Say, Grandpa, we're told you could help us.
413
00:22:58,307 --> 00:22:59,934
My friend here has lost his memory.
414
00:23:00,008 --> 00:23:01,134
I don't remember anything.
415
00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:03,610
I don't remember what money is,
what I did with it...
416
00:23:03,679 --> 00:23:05,647
...what girls are and what I did with them.
417
00:23:05,714 --> 00:23:09,707
In life, my brother,
money and girls are not important.
418
00:23:10,853 --> 00:23:13,754
- This guy needs a few weeks in Las Vegas.
- Let me talk to him.
419
00:23:13,822 --> 00:23:16,154
Look, we'd like to negotiate a deal.
420
00:23:16,225 --> 00:23:18,989
- Who's in charge of mental health?
- Mental health?
421
00:23:19,061 --> 00:23:22,394
Who's the boss, the number-one fellow?
Who pays the tab on the pad?
422
00:23:22,464 --> 00:23:24,056
Who signs the scrolls?
423
00:23:24,133 --> 00:23:25,498
The Grand Lama.
424
00:23:26,135 --> 00:23:27,261
Grand Lama.
425
00:23:27,336 --> 00:23:28,496
He's the pro here?
426
00:23:28,570 --> 00:23:29,764
Jack Lama, I think it is.
427
00:23:29,838 --> 00:23:31,669
We'd like to make an appointment.
428
00:23:31,740 --> 00:23:35,301
Very well. Follow me. I will prepare you.
429
00:23:35,411 --> 00:23:36,878
Bring your niblick.
430
00:23:37,045 --> 00:23:39,070
Maybe the house detective.
431
00:23:39,481 --> 00:23:42,416
Please, my sons, do not despair.
432
00:23:42,618 --> 00:23:47,317
Help is never denied those
whose destiny crosses our threshold.
433
00:23:47,623 --> 00:23:50,649
- Come, and we shall see what we can do.
- He may be the man.
434
00:23:50,726 --> 00:23:53,058
You don't win a hat like that
playing mumblety-pegs.
435
00:23:53,128 --> 00:23:54,152
No.
436
00:23:56,131 --> 00:24:01,125
We are administering an ancient
and obscure herb known as Piutus Memoryorus.
437
00:24:01,737 --> 00:24:06,538
In many cases, it has been known to effect
an almost instantaneous recovery.
438
00:24:17,453 --> 00:24:18,545
Yes.
439
00:24:18,754 --> 00:24:21,416
- Yes, my son?
- It's coming back.
440
00:24:21,490 --> 00:24:22,957
I think I'm beginning to remember.
441
00:24:23,025 --> 00:24:25,960
Great! Now. What's my name?
442
00:24:26,495 --> 00:24:28,554
- Name?
- Yeah. My name.
443
00:24:28,630 --> 00:24:31,190
Har-ry Tru-Tru-Truman.
444
00:24:31,266 --> 00:24:33,131
No.
445
00:24:33,235 --> 00:24:34,759
Har-ry...
446
00:24:34,837 --> 00:24:36,270
- Concentrate!
- Harry Concentrate!
447
00:24:36,338 --> 00:24:37,532
No!
448
00:24:37,606 --> 00:24:38,868
Har-ry...
449
00:24:39,508 --> 00:24:41,942
- Tur-ner!
- Right! You've got it.
450
00:24:42,010 --> 00:24:45,002
- Harry Turner!
- What's your name?
451
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:49,016
- Chester Babcock?
- Right.
452
00:24:49,084 --> 00:24:50,676
Chester Babcock.
453
00:24:50,752 --> 00:24:53,585
- A name like that I remember.
- I think he's getting it back.
454
00:24:53,655 --> 00:24:55,680
- Now tell me, how much is two and two?
- Four.
455
00:24:55,757 --> 00:24:56,781
- Four and four?
- Eight.
456
00:24:56,859 --> 00:24:58,326
- Eight and eight?
- Seventeen.
457
00:24:58,393 --> 00:25:00,827
That's our boy again. He's with us again.
458
00:25:00,896 --> 00:25:04,263
And now, my son,
having regained your memory...
459
00:25:04,333 --> 00:25:06,460
...you are one of the chosen few...
460
00:25:06,535 --> 00:25:09,868
...eligible to experience
the ecstatic joys...
461
00:25:09,938 --> 00:25:12,873
...of the Hall of Total Recollection.
462
00:25:13,308 --> 00:25:17,642
You see, those who respond
to the Piutus Memoryorus...
463
00:25:17,713 --> 00:25:22,707
...also respond to a still-rarer herb,
the Piutus Bushkinorus.
464
00:25:22,918 --> 00:25:24,886
Piutus Bushkinorus?
465
00:25:24,987 --> 00:25:27,012
You can get that from a bad audience.
466
00:25:27,089 --> 00:25:28,147
Watch it.
467
00:25:28,223 --> 00:25:29,918
You mean these characters here are...
468
00:25:29,992 --> 00:25:32,392
...remembering all that's been put
in front of them?
469
00:25:32,461 --> 00:25:36,522
They are, at the moment,
reading and remembering great literature.
470
00:25:36,598 --> 00:25:39,328
That one is remembering the Odyssey.
471
00:25:39,701 --> 00:25:41,896
That one, the Iliad.
472
00:25:42,271 --> 00:25:44,637
And that one, Shakespeare.
473
00:25:45,007 --> 00:25:47,441
What about that one, over there?
474
00:25:51,313 --> 00:25:53,178
What's he remembering?
475
00:25:53,582 --> 00:25:55,209
Lady Chatterley's Lover.
476
00:25:57,753 --> 00:26:01,553
Lady Chatterley's Lover.
He must have the one with pictures.
477
00:26:01,723 --> 00:26:04,317
And I had to leave
my library card in my other robe.
478
00:26:04,393 --> 00:26:08,352
Will this Piutus Bushkinorus work
on my friend Chester here?
479
00:26:08,430 --> 00:26:11,092
Precisely. If you will come with me.
480
00:26:11,166 --> 00:26:14,431
Do you realize what a memory act
we could do with some of this stuff?
481
00:26:14,503 --> 00:26:15,595
- Crazy!
- Just the greatest!
482
00:26:15,671 --> 00:26:18,834
- For the first time, we'd be legitimate.
- Let's not get sickening.
483
00:26:18,907 --> 00:26:23,037
Say, Mister Lama, do you suppose we
could buy a couple of sticks of this stuff?
484
00:26:23,111 --> 00:26:24,806
We want to do this memory act and we...
485
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,941
I'm sorry, my sons, but neither our herbs,
nor those who use them...
486
00:26:29,017 --> 00:26:31,485
...are ever allowed to leave the lamasery.
487
00:26:31,853 --> 00:26:34,185
You mean, we have to spend
our lives in this place?
488
00:26:34,256 --> 00:26:35,280
I'm afraid so.
489
00:26:35,357 --> 00:26:37,450
We don't want you to think
we're ungrateful...
490
00:26:37,526 --> 00:26:41,758
...but there's nothing that could keep us
in a place like this forever.
491
00:26:41,830 --> 00:26:44,993
Unless it was a couple
of fabulous-looking girls!
492
00:26:47,636 --> 00:26:48,967
Hi, girls.
493
00:26:49,705 --> 00:26:51,696
I'd hate to see the boys.
494
00:26:55,577 --> 00:26:57,135
Come on, watch it.
495
00:26:57,212 --> 00:26:59,942
- Watch the threads.
- Please, I just had this pressed.
496
00:27:01,049 --> 00:27:04,485
Say, you guys like American pictures?
497
00:27:04,553 --> 00:27:08,956
You seen any old road pictures like
Singapore, Zanzibar, Morocco?
498
00:27:09,024 --> 00:27:12,221
You haven't? Well, watch this.
499
00:27:12,294 --> 00:27:15,457
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man...
500
00:27:15,530 --> 00:27:18,499
...bake a cake as fast as you...
501
00:27:19,334 --> 00:27:21,131
Say, it still works.
502
00:27:21,203 --> 00:27:24,036
- Get the bottle.
- You get the clothes.
503
00:27:27,242 --> 00:27:29,836
Remember. No violence.
504
00:27:30,245 --> 00:27:33,009
Follow them, watch, wait.
505
00:27:33,081 --> 00:27:36,209
And when the occasion permits,
regain the bottle.
506
00:27:36,284 --> 00:27:38,377
It shall be done, Master.
507
00:28:01,777 --> 00:28:04,268
There you are. Buy yourself a blue blade.
508
00:28:04,346 --> 00:28:05,938
Gentlemen, is there anything else?
509
00:28:06,014 --> 00:28:09,711
No, we're fine. Go work on your rope trick.
We might use you on the road.
510
00:28:09,785 --> 00:28:11,548
Yeah, heat up your snake.
511
00:28:11,620 --> 00:28:14,282
There you are,
my little orange-pekoe annuity.
512
00:28:14,356 --> 00:28:17,814
Chester, come down here.
I want you to unfurl the long-and-furry.
513
00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:20,353
You're not well, are you?
514
00:28:20,429 --> 00:28:23,557
We must press on. We gotta test
this stuff to make sure it works.
515
00:28:23,632 --> 00:28:25,964
- What will you test it on?
- We'll find something.
516
00:28:26,034 --> 00:28:28,559
You got a racing form, a summons,
anything on you?
517
00:28:28,637 --> 00:28:30,264
- Here's something.
- What have you got?
518
00:28:30,338 --> 00:28:32,363
I don't know, it's got numbers and diagrams.
519
00:28:32,441 --> 00:28:33,635
Let me see.
520
00:28:34,042 --> 00:28:36,067
- Where'd you get it?
- Who knows?
521
00:28:36,144 --> 00:28:38,112
Maybe it was that dame at the airport.
522
00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:40,546
The one who wanted a picture
of me in a bikini.
523
00:28:40,615 --> 00:28:42,810
Dreamer. No matter.
524
00:28:42,884 --> 00:28:45,785
If you can memorize this, Chester,
you can memorize anything.
525
00:28:45,854 --> 00:28:47,014
Sit down.
526
00:28:47,089 --> 00:28:51,355
Now then, Chester, flip that fang out
for me, will you, one more time?
527
00:28:53,395 --> 00:28:55,295
I wished I had a book of stamps.
528
00:28:55,363 --> 00:28:57,456
You're a little nervous. This won't hurt.
529
00:28:57,532 --> 00:28:59,932
Lay it right there. There we are.
530
00:29:00,769 --> 00:29:02,634
Did it do anything for you?
531
00:29:07,409 --> 00:29:10,173
- You got it? Ready?
- Got it.
532
00:29:17,652 --> 00:29:18,914
Okay.
533
00:29:18,987 --> 00:29:20,181
Page one, line six.
534
00:29:20,255 --> 00:29:23,554
"The ratio of the fuel concentration
to the initial escape velocity..."
535
00:29:23,625 --> 00:29:26,355
"...equals the quadrant X
minus AB to the sixteenth power."
536
00:29:26,428 --> 00:29:30,057
Wonderful, Chester.
All right, page two, line 17.
537
00:29:30,132 --> 00:29:33,158
"Atmospheric density compressed
to the square root of 'Y' plus 5..."
538
00:29:33,235 --> 00:29:35,362
"...to the power of 11 and a dirty thumb."
539
00:29:36,671 --> 00:29:39,265
What coverage!
540
00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:42,866
- My key, please.
- Certainly, madam.
541
00:29:46,047 --> 00:29:49,312
"...centimeters of cubic displacement
per gram of octane distillate."
542
00:29:49,384 --> 00:29:53,821
Finito! Perfecto, Chester! Come on.
Let's get a little bit of fresh air.
543
00:29:53,889 --> 00:29:56,824
Coming out of it? You all right?
Come on, school's out.
544
00:29:59,461 --> 00:30:02,294
- Did I get it all?
- Every word, every gold-plated word.
545
00:30:02,364 --> 00:30:04,525
We're gonna be loaded, Ches boy.
546
00:30:04,599 --> 00:30:07,659
- Don't start with that "Ches boy."
- We've got a fortune here.
547
00:30:07,736 --> 00:30:11,331
- In my head?
- The last place anybody would look for it.
548
00:30:11,406 --> 00:30:12,668
You got a mind like a sponge.
549
00:30:12,741 --> 00:30:14,902
Don't get any ideas about squeezing it,
either.
550
00:30:14,976 --> 00:30:18,571
Chester, you're a walking IBM Machine,
a slope-nosed Univac.
551
00:30:18,647 --> 00:30:21,707
From now on, anytime anybody
wants any secret information...
552
00:30:21,783 --> 00:30:24,809
...taken from one place to another,
they got to lay it up there.
553
00:30:24,886 --> 00:30:26,376
- Right up there?
- That's the place.
554
00:30:26,454 --> 00:30:27,921
- I carry it around for them?
- Yeah.
555
00:30:27,989 --> 00:30:31,390
If they want any information,
they make a little hole and it leaks out?
556
00:30:31,893 --> 00:30:35,590
So, you're talking about spy rings
and secret agents and things like that.
557
00:30:35,664 --> 00:30:37,154
They got knives, they got guns.
558
00:30:37,232 --> 00:30:40,292
They shoot you with tiny bullets
that put big holes in you.
559
00:30:40,368 --> 00:30:41,767
I know, I watch television!
560
00:30:41,837 --> 00:30:44,067
- I'm going to be there with you.
- For the funeral.
561
00:30:44,139 --> 00:30:45,606
Who do you think they'll shoot...
562
00:30:45,674 --> 00:30:48,302
...you or the schnook with
the IBM machine up his Univac.
563
00:30:48,376 --> 00:30:50,571
I'm sorry, get yourself a new schnook.
564
00:30:50,645 --> 00:30:55,139
Look, why don't you get us a nice agent
and book us a nice, legitimate memory act?
565
00:30:55,217 --> 00:30:56,946
Anything wrong...
566
00:31:02,257 --> 00:31:03,656
Hello there.
567
00:31:09,998 --> 00:31:13,092
- Do you remember me?
- I certainly hope so.
568
00:31:13,168 --> 00:31:14,567
The airport.
569
00:31:14,836 --> 00:31:16,326
The airport. Yeah.
570
00:31:16,404 --> 00:31:19,339
You're the girl with the hotel room.
Sorry I couldn't make it.
571
00:31:19,407 --> 00:31:20,840
I hope there's still a vacancy.
572
00:31:20,909 --> 00:31:24,003
We can go to the hotel
and pull the shades and...
573
00:31:24,346 --> 00:31:27,975
Now don't be a sore loser. I'll go.
574
00:31:28,283 --> 00:31:30,683
It's wonderful to be wanted.
575
00:31:31,620 --> 00:31:34,783
- I already have a scar there.
- The papers, please.
576
00:31:34,856 --> 00:31:37,825
- The papers?
- The ones I put in your pocket.
577
00:31:37,893 --> 00:31:40,259
- With the numbers and the diagrams?
- If you please.
578
00:31:40,328 --> 00:31:42,489
We just had a little barbecue here.
579
00:31:42,831 --> 00:31:43,889
No!
580
00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:46,458
You idiots.
581
00:31:48,970 --> 00:31:52,997
Would I be correct in assuming that
this information might have been valuable?
582
00:31:53,074 --> 00:31:54,439
Invaluable.
583
00:31:55,710 --> 00:31:58,144
Maybe something that
somebody would pay a lot for...
584
00:31:58,213 --> 00:32:01,478
...if somebody could get somebody
to bring it back?
585
00:32:01,850 --> 00:32:04,819
- Don't talk nonsense!
- That's right, don't talk nonsense!
586
00:32:04,886 --> 00:32:07,354
- Yes, but would they?
- Don't talk nonsense.
587
00:32:07,422 --> 00:32:10,619
Are you suggesting that
you have a way of replacing these papers?
588
00:32:10,692 --> 00:32:14,253
Certainly not. And I'll thank you
to put that gun down now and leave.
589
00:32:14,329 --> 00:32:16,058
I don't know who you're mixed up with.
590
00:32:16,131 --> 00:32:18,622
I'll bet they're the kind to carry guns
and knives...
591
00:32:18,700 --> 00:32:21,362
...and put holes in people,
and my friend here and I...
592
00:32:21,436 --> 00:32:23,996
...will have nothing to do with it.
Leave now.
593
00:32:24,072 --> 00:32:26,006
Do not bother us again.
594
00:32:26,074 --> 00:32:28,565
See you at the bar in five minutes.
595
00:32:29,911 --> 00:32:31,879
Now do you see what I mean?
596
00:32:31,947 --> 00:32:35,280
You're so right, Chester.
And a dame with a gun, yet!
597
00:32:35,350 --> 00:32:36,374
And loaded.
598
00:32:36,451 --> 00:32:37,884
She certainly was!
599
00:32:37,953 --> 00:32:39,887
I told you how dangerous this stuff can be.
600
00:32:39,955 --> 00:32:40,944
You're right as rain.
601
00:32:41,022 --> 00:32:43,820
I'm going downstairs now
and phone New York long distance.
602
00:32:43,892 --> 00:32:45,621
I'm going to get a booking for our act.
603
00:32:45,694 --> 00:32:47,423
That's a great... Wait a minute.
604
00:32:47,495 --> 00:32:48,985
Why don't you use this phone here?
605
00:32:49,064 --> 00:32:52,227
You know you can't make
a long-distance call from a local phone.
606
00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:53,824
Yeah, that's right.
607
00:32:53,902 --> 00:32:56,166
Dames with guns.
608
00:32:59,441 --> 00:33:01,739
And he can deliver it tomorrow in Hong Kong?
609
00:33:02,410 --> 00:33:04,435
If the price is right, yeah.
610
00:33:05,380 --> 00:33:07,940
Shall we say $10,000?
611
00:33:08,216 --> 00:33:09,683
$10,000?
612
00:33:09,985 --> 00:33:12,146
All right, $20,000.
613
00:33:12,687 --> 00:33:14,245
I'm not one to haggle, but...
614
00:33:14,322 --> 00:33:17,382
Very well, then. $25,000.
615
00:33:18,059 --> 00:33:20,960
That was $25,000?
616
00:33:21,029 --> 00:33:22,360
Naturally!
617
00:33:23,164 --> 00:33:25,394
Are you sure you're not pulling my leg?
618
00:33:25,467 --> 00:33:28,698
Business first, fun and games later.
619
00:33:28,803 --> 00:33:31,397
See you upstairs in about 10 minutes. Right?
620
00:33:31,473 --> 00:33:32,633
Right.
621
00:33:39,514 --> 00:33:41,311
Are you kidding me about that booking?
622
00:33:41,383 --> 00:33:43,317
Would I kid you at a time like this?
623
00:33:43,385 --> 00:33:45,945
- This calls for a celebration.
- Right!
624
00:33:46,021 --> 00:33:47,147
How much are we gonna get?
625
00:33:47,222 --> 00:33:49,281
We are gonna get...
626
00:33:49,357 --> 00:33:51,348
- We are going to get...
- $25...
627
00:33:51,426 --> 00:33:52,893
- $25...
- $25...
628
00:33:52,961 --> 00:33:55,259
- $25?
- $2,500.
629
00:33:55,330 --> 00:33:57,764
- $2,500.
- Split right down the middle.
630
00:33:57,832 --> 00:34:00,460
Split right down the middle.
No more of that 80-20 stuff?
631
00:34:00,535 --> 00:34:04,130
No. Share and share alike. Blood brothers.
632
00:34:04,205 --> 00:34:05,263
I'd rather have the money.
633
00:34:05,340 --> 00:34:08,275
It's only fair to tell you
that we are going to have to do...
634
00:34:08,343 --> 00:34:10,641
...a little audition for the Chinese
theatre man.
635
00:34:10,712 --> 00:34:12,179
For that money, he's entitled!
636
00:34:12,247 --> 00:34:14,215
You're being big,
but are you ready for this?
637
00:34:14,282 --> 00:34:16,216
- What?
- Wait'll you hear where we'll play.
638
00:34:16,284 --> 00:34:17,649
Do it to me lightly.
639
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,210
Loews Hong Kong.
640
00:34:21,956 --> 00:34:23,583
- Hong Kong!
- Yes, sir.
641
00:34:23,658 --> 00:34:27,617
Dreamy old Hong Kong. Pearl of the Orient.
642
00:34:27,695 --> 00:34:29,094
Bill Holden's sandbox.
643
00:34:29,164 --> 00:34:31,029
Yeah, the almond-eyed Paris.
644
00:34:31,099 --> 00:34:33,431
With the noodles, soy sauce,
and ricky rickshaws.
645
00:34:33,501 --> 00:34:37,130
- The geisha girls give green stamps.
- And the slit skirts have no zippers.
646
00:34:37,205 --> 00:34:39,196
And the dawn comes up like thunder.
647
00:34:39,274 --> 00:34:41,708
- Hong Kong!
- We're on our way.
648
00:34:42,444 --> 00:34:47,006
"Can't you see us in a rickshaw
649
00:34:47,082 --> 00:34:50,017
"Dropping in on Suzie Wong?"
650
00:34:50,452 --> 00:34:53,888
"Can't you see the split kimono"
651
00:34:53,955 --> 00:34:56,719
"On the road to Hong Kong?"
652
00:34:56,791 --> 00:34:58,315
"Sip a little oolong tea"
653
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,123
"They'll adore us in our pigtails"
654
00:35:02,197 --> 00:35:05,564
"Sitting down to play mah-jongg"
655
00:35:05,633 --> 00:35:08,625
"You and me, on a spree"
656
00:35:08,703 --> 00:35:11,638
"We'll be right there where we belong"
657
00:35:11,706 --> 00:35:13,139
"On the road to Hong Kong"
658
00:35:13,208 --> 00:35:15,403
"Sip a little oolong tea"
659
00:35:15,777 --> 00:35:18,644
- "Kowloon"
- "Kowloon"
660
00:35:19,180 --> 00:35:22,013
"We can't get there too soon"
661
00:35:22,083 --> 00:35:23,914
"Cause a gal who's cute"
662
00:35:23,985 --> 00:35:28,285
"Has the cutest lute
that I'm just dying to tune"
663
00:35:28,356 --> 00:35:31,120
"Sip a little oolong tea"
664
00:35:31,626 --> 00:35:34,220
Your father's out there.
How did you get here?
665
00:35:34,295 --> 00:35:35,922
Special Effects.
666
00:35:36,898 --> 00:35:40,356
"There's a crazy Chinese incense"
667
00:35:40,435 --> 00:35:43,598
"That could make a weak man strong"
668
00:35:43,671 --> 00:35:47,402
"Just a whiff is terrif"
669
00:35:53,648 --> 00:35:56,583
"Sip a little oolong tea"
670
00:35:56,651 --> 00:35:59,984
- "It's grand"
- "Oh, it's great"
671
00:36:00,054 --> 00:36:05,048
"But try to contemplate
with each Chinese meal"
672
00:36:05,293 --> 00:36:07,227
"There's a Chinese deal"
673
00:36:07,295 --> 00:36:09,889
"Tells your future and fate"
674
00:36:11,966 --> 00:36:13,991
"You are under grave suspicion"
675
00:36:14,068 --> 00:36:16,866
"Your partner suspects you of dishonesty"
676
00:36:17,138 --> 00:36:18,867
Here, it's for you.
677
00:36:19,807 --> 00:36:24,301
"No more Turner, no more Babcock"
678
00:36:24,379 --> 00:36:27,712
"Harry Chan and Chester Fong"
679
00:36:27,782 --> 00:36:30,774
"Let that Chinese gong"
680
00:36:32,587 --> 00:36:35,317
"Go ding ding dong"
681
00:36:36,291 --> 00:36:40,057
"We'll be on the happy road to Hong Kong"
682
00:36:40,161 --> 00:36:43,597
"Smoke a little hookah, nicotine bazooka"
683
00:36:43,665 --> 00:36:46,691
"Smoke a little hookah pipe"
684
00:37:05,820 --> 00:37:07,287
Come in.
685
00:37:12,260 --> 00:37:15,923
Chester, I want you to tell me everything
that was on those secret papers.
686
00:37:15,997 --> 00:37:19,728
Start at the beginning. Page one, line one.
687
00:37:19,968 --> 00:37:22,869
"Top Secret.
Solid propellant rocket-fuel formula.
688
00:37:22,937 --> 00:37:25,167
"The basic element necessary
in maximum thrust..."
689
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:28,607
"...is equal to 679.03 degrees
of escape velocity."
690
00:37:29,477 --> 00:37:31,206
Page five, line three.
691
00:37:31,279 --> 00:37:34,214
"The quadrant XY over 2 AB
as applied to the equation 'L'..."
692
00:37:37,218 --> 00:37:39,914
There she lies, Chester! Hong Kong!
693
00:37:39,988 --> 00:37:42,047
What a monument to fried rice!
694
00:37:42,123 --> 00:37:45,092
Look at those bamboo
television antennas, will you?
695
00:37:45,159 --> 00:37:47,650
- You got the stuff?
- Yes, got it right here.
696
00:37:47,729 --> 00:37:50,459
I'll take it. I'm still the treasurer,
you know.
697
00:37:50,531 --> 00:37:54,194
With that 80-20 mind of yours,
I want to keep an overlapping grip on my 20.
698
00:37:54,269 --> 00:37:56,794
Chester, when are you
going to learn to trust me?
699
00:37:56,871 --> 00:37:59,396
When I can afford a full-time thief.
700
00:38:18,826 --> 00:38:21,294
Hey, wait a minute!
What are you doing with my bottle?
701
00:38:21,362 --> 00:38:23,853
- Beg pardon, sir, is my bottle.
- That's my bottle!
702
00:38:23,931 --> 00:38:26,024
No, sir. Is very common oriental bottle.
703
00:38:26,100 --> 00:38:28,796
Maybe if you are looking in your pocket?
704
00:38:31,806 --> 00:38:32,830
I'm sorry.
705
00:38:32,907 --> 00:38:35,967
It's quite all right, sir.
Not to worry, sir, not to worry.
706
00:38:36,044 --> 00:38:38,035
We belong to the same bottle club!
707
00:38:38,112 --> 00:38:40,512
Not to worry. Come on, we've got to hurry.
708
00:38:42,216 --> 00:38:44,377
Their route seemed ordinary enough.
709
00:38:44,452 --> 00:38:46,010
Through Kowloon...
710
00:38:46,087 --> 00:38:48,783
...on the Star Ferry across
the bay to Victoria...
711
00:38:48,856 --> 00:38:51,324
...and then climbing high on the island...
712
00:38:51,392 --> 00:38:53,860
...until they reached a secluded estate...
713
00:38:53,928 --> 00:38:57,830
...carefully chosen to conceal
the headquarters of our leader.
714
00:38:58,199 --> 00:38:59,393
I don't dig it.
715
00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:01,594
You sure this is where
the guy's gotta see us?
716
00:39:01,669 --> 00:39:03,967
He's a Chinese millionaire.
A little eccentric.
717
00:39:04,038 --> 00:39:06,370
He made this out of vaudeville
and used chopsticks?
718
00:39:06,441 --> 00:39:07,465
He's a big fella.
719
00:39:07,542 --> 00:39:10,511
You can't get a noodle in this town
without going through him.
720
00:39:10,578 --> 00:39:11,909
- No kidding?
- Right.
721
00:39:11,979 --> 00:39:13,071
Sure you got the stuff?
722
00:39:13,147 --> 00:39:16,480
Buster, I've got our passport
to prosperity right here.
723
00:39:16,551 --> 00:39:17,609
And right there.
724
00:39:17,685 --> 00:39:21,177
Bet you never thought you'd have a fortune
riding in the old melon.
725
00:39:21,255 --> 00:39:23,815
Just goes to show you.
Never throw anything away.
726
00:39:23,891 --> 00:39:25,017
Yeah.
727
00:39:26,661 --> 00:39:28,151
Ring the bell.
728
00:39:31,399 --> 00:39:33,731
What did you do, wire ahead?
729
00:39:42,310 --> 00:39:44,210
Silent butler, I guess.
730
00:39:45,580 --> 00:39:47,343
Fancy little layout.
731
00:39:47,415 --> 00:39:49,610
Looks like it's done in early Egg Foo Yung.
732
00:39:49,684 --> 00:39:52,175
It's a funny place for an audition.
733
00:39:53,821 --> 00:39:56,016
Marvelous place for an audition!
734
00:39:56,491 --> 00:40:00,427
Gentlemen, you are expected.
Please, walk this way.
735
00:40:02,063 --> 00:40:03,621
Walk that way?
736
00:40:04,265 --> 00:40:06,597
I could never pass the physical.
737
00:40:09,837 --> 00:40:12,397
Gentlemen, be seated.
738
00:40:14,375 --> 00:40:16,969
What is this, a Chinese minstrel show?
739
00:40:28,122 --> 00:40:30,556
We're dropping. What's going on here?
740
00:40:30,625 --> 00:40:32,855
Relax.
He probably has a theater in the basement.
741
00:40:32,927 --> 00:40:35,691
What's he showing,
Journey to the Center of the Earth?
742
00:40:48,709 --> 00:40:51,007
We're underwater! That's the ocean!
743
00:40:51,078 --> 00:40:52,067
So?
744
00:40:52,146 --> 00:40:54,637
So? So we spring a little leak, we'll drown.
745
00:40:54,715 --> 00:40:57,445
You don't have to worry.
You've got a built-in snorkel.
746
00:40:58,085 --> 00:41:00,815
Yeah, but I never use it outside
of my bathtub.
747
00:41:01,856 --> 00:41:05,383
Dig this! Looks like
he just ate Lloyd Bridges.
748
00:41:06,027 --> 00:41:07,790
Don't worry, they don't eat people.
749
00:41:07,862 --> 00:41:10,092
- How about actors?
- We're safe.
750
00:41:24,812 --> 00:41:27,042
Gentlemen, we bid you welcome.
751
00:41:29,283 --> 00:41:30,750
You may rise.
752
00:41:39,227 --> 00:41:40,956
Just like the freeway.
753
00:41:42,730 --> 00:41:45,893
I trust your journey down here
wasn't too uncomfortable?
754
00:41:45,967 --> 00:41:47,491
No, sir, and no disrespect, sir.
755
00:41:47,568 --> 00:41:51,299
I don't want to run your business
but this is a peculiar place for a theater.
756
00:41:51,372 --> 00:41:53,670
Where are the people gonna park?
Another thing...
757
00:41:53,741 --> 00:41:55,800
Gentlemen, our leader is a very busy man.
758
00:41:55,877 --> 00:41:57,777
Would you please proceed with the formula?
759
00:41:57,845 --> 00:41:59,472
Certainly, the sooner the...
760
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:00,977
Formula?
761
00:42:01,315 --> 00:42:03,215
- Hey, what's she doing here?
- Who?
762
00:42:03,284 --> 00:42:06,082
Who? Her. Quickdraw McGraw,
the fastest gun in the east!
763
00:42:06,153 --> 00:42:09,213
With her secret papers
and her formulas and...
764
00:42:10,157 --> 00:42:12,751
You went and did it again, didn't you?
765
00:42:12,827 --> 00:42:17,059
You put that stuff on my mind!
You got us mixed up with spies and crooks.
766
00:42:17,131 --> 00:42:18,564
Mr. Babcock.
767
00:42:19,433 --> 00:42:22,459
Will you please stop all
this babbling nonsense?
768
00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:26,106
A deal has been made for which
you've been very handsomely paid.
769
00:42:26,173 --> 00:42:27,902
I know, $2,500.
770
00:42:27,975 --> 00:42:29,840
$25,000.
771
00:42:29,911 --> 00:42:31,902
That's what I said. $25,000.
772
00:42:32,146 --> 00:42:34,512
That's the deal you made with him? $25,000?
773
00:42:34,582 --> 00:42:35,640
Yes.
774
00:42:35,716 --> 00:42:37,741
You'd make a wonderful black widow spider!
775
00:42:37,818 --> 00:42:40,446
- Now, Chester...
- I am beginning to lose patience.
776
00:42:40,521 --> 00:42:43,957
- Gentlemen, we have to proceed.
- Proceed with him. He made the deal.
777
00:42:44,025 --> 00:42:45,083
Mr. Babcock...
778
00:42:45,159 --> 00:42:48,788
...have you any idea of the value
of the formula you carry in your mind?
779
00:42:48,863 --> 00:42:52,060
It may well prove
the salvation of the world.
780
00:42:52,233 --> 00:42:53,632
Salvation of the world?
781
00:42:53,701 --> 00:42:55,635
Yours is no ordinary mind.
782
00:42:55,703 --> 00:42:59,571
In your incredible brain
lies the combined mathematical genius...
783
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:03,303
...of Descartes, Newton, Da Vinci, Einstein!
784
00:43:03,911 --> 00:43:05,242
All those kids?
785
00:43:05,379 --> 00:43:07,779
- Tell me more.
- Better than that, I'll show you.
786
00:43:07,848 --> 00:43:08,940
Come.
787
00:43:09,317 --> 00:43:11,410
You heard what the man said. Come.
788
00:43:11,485 --> 00:43:13,077
Got to see this.
789
00:43:21,195 --> 00:43:24,358
Hey, look!
A school for television repairmen!
790
00:43:24,765 --> 00:43:27,791
I've seen hi-fi, but this is ridiculous!
791
00:43:27,868 --> 00:43:31,167
Now, if you'll take up your position
by the window.
792
00:43:32,873 --> 00:43:36,309
Gentlemen, you are witnessing
the Third Echelon in operation.
793
00:43:38,479 --> 00:43:40,572
Is that Roman candle for real?
794
00:43:40,881 --> 00:43:44,044
In that rocket, we are about to send
two animals around the moon...
795
00:43:44,118 --> 00:43:47,519
...and if we succeed,
we shall next send two men.
796
00:43:48,055 --> 00:43:49,454
And from the moon...
797
00:43:49,523 --> 00:43:51,957
...from that point of impenetrable power...
798
00:43:52,026 --> 00:43:54,221
...I shall go before the United Nations...
799
00:43:54,295 --> 00:43:59,096
...and demand that they accede
to our total and absolute control.
800
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,327
I think he rolls his own.
801
00:44:02,236 --> 00:44:05,467
Please, be serious.
Now, we've made a bargain.
802
00:44:05,539 --> 00:44:09,669
Without the fuel formula in Babcock's mind,
we can't be certain of success.
803
00:44:09,744 --> 00:44:11,905
Now please, cooperate.
804
00:44:11,979 --> 00:44:14,504
And without any further delay.
805
00:44:19,453 --> 00:44:23,412
Say, Mr. Ech, I don't want
to sound silly or anything...
806
00:44:23,491 --> 00:44:27,325
...and I know it's ridiculous, but supposing
the memory crackers don't work.
807
00:44:27,395 --> 00:44:29,056
What happens then?
808
00:44:29,130 --> 00:44:31,223
I'd rather not discuss that.
809
00:44:31,699 --> 00:44:33,894
That makes two of us.
Well, I'll be seeing you.
810
00:44:33,968 --> 00:44:36,766
Don't be a fool. Where you going?
There's $25,000 in this.
811
00:44:36,837 --> 00:44:38,896
If you leave, you run out
on your fellow man.
812
00:44:38,973 --> 00:44:40,304
That leaves my fellow women!
813
00:44:40,374 --> 00:44:42,604
Don't tell me you're going to chicken
out now!
814
00:44:42,677 --> 00:44:44,167
If necessary, I'll grow feathers!
815
00:44:44,245 --> 00:44:46,270
You might think of your country!
816
00:44:46,347 --> 00:44:47,939
Search your secret soul.
817
00:44:48,015 --> 00:44:50,483
- Ask your patriotic conscience what to do.
- I did.
818
00:44:50,551 --> 00:44:52,746
- What did it say?
- "Yankee, go home."
819
00:44:52,820 --> 00:44:55,118
You two can stay if you want,
but I'm going back.
820
00:44:55,189 --> 00:44:57,953
I'm going back to Hong Kong.
I'm going back to New York...
821
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:00,559
Where are you going?
822
00:45:00,628 --> 00:45:02,755
Back and tell him the formula.
823
00:45:04,532 --> 00:45:07,057
- Still nothing?
- Don't feel a thing.
824
00:45:07,334 --> 00:45:09,199
It worked beautifully yesterday.
825
00:45:09,270 --> 00:45:12,262
Come on, roll out the gangplank
one more time now, will you?
826
00:45:13,841 --> 00:45:15,206
Relax.
827
00:45:15,276 --> 00:45:18,268
Don't get panicky, apprehensive,
nervous, anxious or frightened.
828
00:45:18,345 --> 00:45:21,280
I'm not panicky, apprehensive,
nervous, anxious or frightened.
829
00:45:21,348 --> 00:45:22,337
Good.
830
00:45:22,416 --> 00:45:23,906
I'm petrified.
831
00:45:27,755 --> 00:45:30,053
Tea, sir. Ordinary Indian tea.
832
00:45:30,124 --> 00:45:32,752
Yeah, but very refreshing in a hot climate.
833
00:45:32,860 --> 00:45:34,122
It can't be tea.
834
00:45:34,195 --> 00:45:36,356
I got it.
The guy in the turban on the plane.
835
00:45:36,430 --> 00:45:38,091
He must have switched the stuff!
836
00:45:38,165 --> 00:45:39,632
We'll get it. Won't take a minute.
837
00:45:39,700 --> 00:45:41,634
We'll be back. Promise you won't go away.
838
00:45:41,702 --> 00:45:44,102
- Can we bring you anything?
- Corn-beef? Rice sundae?
839
00:45:44,171 --> 00:45:45,433
A chow mein pizza?
840
00:45:45,506 --> 00:45:46,768
- Be right back!
- Be right back!
841
00:45:46,841 --> 00:45:48,570
Be right back, yes, sir!
842
00:45:49,610 --> 00:45:50,702
Sir!
843
00:45:50,778 --> 00:45:54,771
We've received word, the Russians will
attempt a landing on the moon in 48 hours.
844
00:45:54,849 --> 00:45:56,783
- Is the rocket operative?
- All's ready, sir.
845
00:45:56,851 --> 00:45:59,843
Alert all personnel!
Start launching preparations!
846
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:01,182
Yes, sir.
847
00:46:01,689 --> 00:46:03,782
Sir, what about them?
848
00:46:04,058 --> 00:46:05,150
Them?
849
00:46:05,359 --> 00:46:06,621
Oh, them.
850
00:46:06,961 --> 00:46:09,828
Yes, I'm afraid we must dispose of them.
851
00:46:09,897 --> 00:46:11,694
How are we gonna get out of this?
852
00:46:11,766 --> 00:46:14,667
You tackle the guys
and I'll subdue the girl.
853
00:46:15,603 --> 00:46:18,504
Sir, there may be an alternative.
854
00:46:19,273 --> 00:46:22,003
If these two men were
to take the place of the two apes...
855
00:46:22,076 --> 00:46:24,601
...we'd be that much ahead
in our calculations.
856
00:46:24,678 --> 00:46:26,077
Replace the apes?
857
00:46:26,147 --> 00:46:30,106
That way, our tests would be
on human beings instead of animals.
858
00:46:33,754 --> 00:46:36,348
Gentlemen, you are about to be given...
859
00:46:36,423 --> 00:46:38,721
...the greatest opportunity
for immortality...
860
00:46:38,793 --> 00:46:40,852
...ever afforded to men on Earth.
861
00:46:41,028 --> 00:46:44,657
In a few moments, that rocket is
going to be sent round the moon.
862
00:46:45,065 --> 00:46:47,829
- And we're going to watch?
- From the inside.
863
00:46:47,902 --> 00:46:51,065
That's great. You know, I always wanted...
864
00:46:51,172 --> 00:46:53,834
- Inside?
- Inside the rocket?
865
00:46:53,941 --> 00:46:54,965
Precisely.
866
00:46:55,042 --> 00:46:57,010
We wouldn't want to take anybody's seat.
867
00:46:57,077 --> 00:46:58,305
You have the wrong kids.
868
00:46:58,379 --> 00:47:00,677
My nose bleeds
when I put my carpet slippers on.
869
00:47:00,748 --> 00:47:01,976
No way.
870
00:47:02,049 --> 00:47:05,018
Don't you see?
At least you can die like heroes.
871
00:47:05,085 --> 00:47:08,851
But we're too old to die.
If you only knew our real ages.
872
00:47:09,023 --> 00:47:10,615
Why, he's...
873
00:47:11,525 --> 00:47:13,493
Prepare them for flight.
874
00:47:13,761 --> 00:47:15,888
Prepare for flight?
875
00:47:18,165 --> 00:47:20,224
"Prepare for flight."
876
00:47:26,273 --> 00:47:27,740
They won't get away!
877
00:47:29,577 --> 00:47:31,101
Remember baby.
878
00:47:34,248 --> 00:47:37,081
Get those apes out of their spacesuits.
879
00:47:43,691 --> 00:47:46,091
- Dead end.
- This way.
880
00:47:56,337 --> 00:47:58,134
There must be some way out of this trap.
881
00:47:58,205 --> 00:48:00,139
Here, let's get into these things.
882
00:48:00,774 --> 00:48:02,833
Looks like Liberace's underwear.
883
00:48:02,910 --> 00:48:05,276
These are diving suits.
We'll walk to Hong Kong!
884
00:48:05,346 --> 00:48:08,543
No stopovers.
I'm going straight through to San Francisco.
885
00:48:10,150 --> 00:48:11,310
How are you doing there?
886
00:48:11,385 --> 00:48:13,853
Okay, but this guy must have had
pretty long arms.
887
00:48:13,921 --> 00:48:15,786
He could tie his shoes without bending.
888
00:48:15,856 --> 00:48:18,381
I think my guy must have had
his transmission lowered.
889
00:48:18,459 --> 00:48:21,553
Hey, you've got your own rumble seat.
Look at that!
890
00:48:21,629 --> 00:48:23,256
Who followed me then? Get your hat.
891
00:48:23,330 --> 00:48:26,128
- Did your girdle slip?
- Get your hat, let's get out of here.
892
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,600
This guy wasn't exactly
a perfume salesman, either.
893
00:48:28,669 --> 00:48:31,502
My guy had a few friends. Come on, let's go.
894
00:48:31,872 --> 00:48:34,898
- I can't straighten up.
- Regular cement jungle gym.
895
00:48:34,975 --> 00:48:37,273
Here, this way, over here.
896
00:48:38,479 --> 00:48:39,639
There's no door, no handle!
897
00:48:39,713 --> 00:48:42,113
- How do we get out of here?
- This way!
898
00:48:44,084 --> 00:48:46,484
Zorbb, is the rocket prepared for launching?
899
00:48:46,553 --> 00:48:48,851
- We're at the ready, sir.
- Activate the countdown.
900
00:48:48,923 --> 00:48:51,551
Attention!
This is a final warning to all personnel.
901
00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:54,219
The rocket is operational.
Begin your countdown.
902
00:48:54,295 --> 00:48:56,490
Why do you suppose they're sending us up?
903
00:48:56,563 --> 00:48:59,828
They want to find out
if it's going to be safe for the apes.
904
00:49:02,036 --> 00:49:05,904
Two, one, zero!
905
00:49:26,927 --> 00:49:28,292
This is the critical moment.
906
00:49:28,362 --> 00:49:32,093
Their bodies are subject to the
tremendous pull of gravitational force.
907
00:49:36,470 --> 00:49:38,404
Help!
908
00:49:38,872 --> 00:49:40,999
Have you got a headache?
909
00:49:41,742 --> 00:49:44,870
I would have, but I haven't got room for it.
910
00:49:47,014 --> 00:49:49,414
Help!
911
00:49:54,521 --> 00:49:56,113
What is their position now?
912
00:49:56,190 --> 00:49:59,057
Excellent. Altitude, 120 miles.
913
00:49:59,126 --> 00:50:01,754
They've escaped the Earth's
gravitational pull.
914
00:50:04,498 --> 00:50:08,366
What provision has been made to guarantee
the men's comfort and tranquility?
915
00:50:08,435 --> 00:50:10,403
We didn't have time to change the equipment.
916
00:50:10,471 --> 00:50:13,133
They'll have to use
the same tranquilizing devices...
917
00:50:13,207 --> 00:50:15,004
...that we planned for the apes.
918
00:50:15,476 --> 00:50:17,444
Put them into operation.
919
00:51:23,143 --> 00:51:24,474
What's gone wrong?
920
00:51:24,545 --> 00:51:27,605
They're passing through
an uncharted magnetic field.
921
00:51:27,681 --> 00:51:30,809
Their tranquilizing machines
may go out of sequence.
922
00:52:21,435 --> 00:52:22,663
Can you correct it?
923
00:52:22,736 --> 00:52:23,828
Negative.
924
00:52:23,904 --> 00:52:25,565
Then stop it.
925
00:52:31,712 --> 00:52:34,146
I'll never look at another banana split.
926
00:52:36,850 --> 00:52:38,317
Well, Zorbb?
927
00:52:38,485 --> 00:52:42,421
Their progress is very satisfactory.
Their altitude is 23,800 miles.
928
00:52:42,489 --> 00:52:45,049
Gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
929
00:52:45,125 --> 00:52:49,357
You are now in the upper stratosphere, on
course, and proceeding to your destination.
930
00:52:49,429 --> 00:52:53,525
You may feel free to walk about
and engage in any normal activity.
931
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:55,727
Let's case this bullet.
932
00:52:58,405 --> 00:53:00,600
This thing must be running on the rim!
933
00:53:02,109 --> 00:53:04,009
Hey, look!
934
00:53:06,180 --> 00:53:07,738
What's that?
935
00:53:07,948 --> 00:53:09,540
Could be my stomach!
936
00:53:09,616 --> 00:53:11,174
Buck up.
937
00:53:11,251 --> 00:53:12,775
Don't press it.
938
00:53:18,892 --> 00:53:21,725
- The rocket's going off course!
- It's angled for the moon!
939
00:53:21,795 --> 00:53:22,853
Will they crash?
940
00:53:22,930 --> 00:53:26,195
- Do something, Zorbb.
- I'm trying.
941
00:53:29,670 --> 00:53:31,661
What's that big white thing coming at us?
942
00:53:31,738 --> 00:53:33,330
That's the moon.
943
00:53:33,407 --> 00:53:35,432
I wonder if this thing has
an emergency cord.
944
00:53:35,509 --> 00:53:36,533
Stop worrying.
945
00:53:36,610 --> 00:53:39,511
If we get to the moon first,
we'll clean up on real estate.
946
00:53:39,580 --> 00:53:42,606
You've got to change course.
The lunar glare is dangerous.
947
00:53:42,683 --> 00:53:44,810
It can affect them mentally.
948
00:53:52,626 --> 00:53:55,527
You'd better cover up.
That stuff's awful bright.
949
00:53:57,097 --> 00:54:01,898
"The square root of 17 times 'X' to
the 22nd power over the quotient of 'Y'..."
950
00:54:01,969 --> 00:54:03,334
Get away from there.
951
00:54:03,403 --> 00:54:04,597
What?
952
00:54:04,671 --> 00:54:07,003
- What was that stuff you were saying?
- Stuff?
953
00:54:07,074 --> 00:54:08,166
We're getting closer.
954
00:54:08,242 --> 00:54:09,766
Mechanical gyrations.
955
00:54:09,843 --> 00:54:11,868
I think we're gonna crash!
956
00:54:24,458 --> 00:54:27,825
Well done, Zorbb.
Now then, bring them back to Earth.
957
00:54:30,731 --> 00:54:32,824
Show me their probable point of reentry.
958
00:54:32,899 --> 00:54:34,662
Are you sure you can keep track of them?
959
00:54:34,735 --> 00:54:36,100
Let's see.
960
00:54:36,303 --> 00:54:40,103
98 degrees solar longitude,
48 degrees spatial latitude.
961
00:54:40,173 --> 00:54:41,640
There we are!
962
00:54:41,742 --> 00:54:43,334
They're heading right for Hong Kong.
963
00:54:51,085 --> 00:54:52,746
Release the parachute!
964
00:54:58,993 --> 00:55:01,553
Submarine 'B,' embark immediately.
965
00:55:11,572 --> 00:55:15,064
Well done. Indeed, both of you.
966
00:55:16,143 --> 00:55:19,374
Congratulations!
I'm so glad you found your way back to us!
967
00:55:19,614 --> 00:55:20,638
It's nothing.
968
00:55:20,715 --> 00:55:24,913
I hope you won't mind my own personal way
of welcoming our first astronauts.
969
00:55:26,020 --> 00:55:28,682
It sure beats being kissed by Khrushchev.
970
00:55:29,090 --> 00:55:30,751
And you, too, Chester...
971
00:55:30,958 --> 00:55:33,756
...honored hero of the Third Echelon.
972
00:55:41,936 --> 00:55:43,995
"Top Secret. Rocket fuel formula."
973
00:55:44,071 --> 00:55:47,700
"The basic element necessary
in maximum thrust is equivalent to Mach 5."
974
00:55:47,775 --> 00:55:51,370
"Atmospheric density is equal
to 4-5 'X' times the square root of..."
975
00:55:51,445 --> 00:55:53,538
"...679 degrees of escape velocity..."
976
00:55:53,614 --> 00:55:56,583
"...of the times 28 escape velocity..."
977
00:55:57,585 --> 00:55:59,485
Take them to their quarters.
978
00:55:59,554 --> 00:56:00,646
Come!
979
00:56:04,191 --> 00:56:06,682
Zorbb, are you quite sure you have a drug...
980
00:56:06,761 --> 00:56:09,423
...that will release the formula
from this idiot's mind?
981
00:56:09,497 --> 00:56:10,623
Absolutely.
982
00:56:10,698 --> 00:56:11,995
Excellent.
983
00:56:12,066 --> 00:56:14,933
Diane, my dear,
your bringing these men here...
984
00:56:15,002 --> 00:56:17,971
...has been a service of inestimable value.
985
00:56:18,039 --> 00:56:21,065
Not only will Babcock's brain,
such as it is...
986
00:56:21,142 --> 00:56:23,474
...give us the precious fuel formula...
987
00:56:23,544 --> 00:56:26,172
...their bodies will provide
vital information...
988
00:56:26,247 --> 00:56:28,943
...to combat the hazards
of future space travel.
989
00:56:29,016 --> 00:56:30,040
Their bodies, sir?
990
00:56:30,117 --> 00:56:32,551
Certainly. Microscopic tests
of their vital organs.
991
00:56:32,620 --> 00:56:36,215
After you've gotten the formula,
then you're going to dissect them?
992
00:56:36,290 --> 00:56:38,451
Purely in the interests of science.
993
00:56:38,526 --> 00:56:40,460
That means that they must die.
994
00:56:40,528 --> 00:56:42,758
Only that millions may live.
995
00:56:43,164 --> 00:56:46,463
But, sir, it seems unnecessarily cruel.
996
00:56:46,634 --> 00:56:48,625
Science is often cruel, Diane.
997
00:56:48,703 --> 00:56:52,230
I don't like human sacrifice
any more than Dr. Zorbb.
998
00:56:52,473 --> 00:56:53,770
Do you, Zorbb?
999
00:56:53,841 --> 00:56:55,672
On the whole, I dislike it, sir.
1000
00:56:55,743 --> 00:56:56,835
You see?
1001
00:56:56,911 --> 00:56:59,675
But our duty to our fellow men
demands that we set aside...
1002
00:56:59,747 --> 00:57:02,113
...all personal feeling and sentimentality.
1003
00:57:02,183 --> 00:57:04,208
Surely, you must see that.
1004
00:57:05,553 --> 00:57:08,147
Yes, sir. I suppose I do.
1005
00:57:08,222 --> 00:57:10,690
Very well. Now then, first things first.
1006
00:57:10,758 --> 00:57:12,419
How do we get the formula?
1007
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,458
First, they must be completely
unaware of our plans.
1008
00:57:15,529 --> 00:57:16,553
Yes.
1009
00:57:16,631 --> 00:57:17,893
Before we can work on them...
1010
00:57:17,965 --> 00:57:20,934
...they'll have to be in a state
of tranquility and relaxation.
1011
00:57:21,002 --> 00:57:21,991
I see.
1012
00:57:22,069 --> 00:57:24,367
Everything that can pacify, tranquilize...
1013
00:57:24,438 --> 00:57:28,465
...bring joy to the hearts of two men
such as these must be provided.
1014
00:57:28,542 --> 00:57:29,941
So it will.
1015
00:57:38,586 --> 00:57:42,420
Ming Toy, dear girl.
A little higher, to the right, please.
1016
00:57:42,490 --> 00:57:44,151
Hit me, Poon Soon.
1017
00:57:50,898 --> 00:57:54,061
If I find out this is fattening,
I'll kill myself.
1018
00:57:56,370 --> 00:57:59,271
You'll have to get a softer brush.
You're bruising me.
1019
00:57:59,774 --> 00:58:01,264
Is this heaven?
1020
00:58:01,442 --> 00:58:03,876
Yeah. And I don't even remember dying.
1021
00:58:04,078 --> 00:58:07,605
You know, I feel like a contest winner.
But it's a little wearing.
1022
00:58:08,015 --> 00:58:11,883
Another two or three hours of this,
and I may have to get my lips re-treaded.
1023
00:58:14,555 --> 00:58:16,853
The master says they're ready upstairs.
1024
00:58:16,924 --> 00:58:19,757
If he thinks they're ready upstairs,
he should be down here.
1025
00:58:19,827 --> 00:58:21,192
Bring him!
1026
00:58:21,262 --> 00:58:22,559
Bring what?
1027
00:58:22,630 --> 00:58:26,066
What kind of a caper is this?
Now be careful.
1028
00:58:26,133 --> 00:58:29,125
Please! Don't drop any of the goodies!
1029
00:58:30,204 --> 00:58:31,728
Where are you going with the team?
1030
00:58:31,806 --> 00:58:35,242
I don't know, but if I'm not back
in two or three hours, don't send help.
1031
00:58:35,309 --> 00:58:37,106
I'll muddle through somehow.
1032
00:58:37,178 --> 00:58:38,702
It's rough.
1033
00:58:44,018 --> 00:58:45,417
Hello there.
1034
00:58:50,257 --> 00:58:53,693
- Are you quite comfortable?
- Sure.
1035
00:58:53,861 --> 00:58:55,123
You have everything you want?
1036
00:58:55,196 --> 00:58:57,926
A little soft music. That'd be clever.
1037
00:58:58,265 --> 00:58:59,289
Of course.
1038
00:58:59,366 --> 00:59:02,426
You know, about 30 or 40 violins throbbing.
1039
00:59:03,804 --> 00:59:05,362
That's very moody.
1040
00:59:06,073 --> 00:59:09,167
You think a little soft lighting
would be effective?
1041
00:59:09,910 --> 00:59:11,138
Hit it.
1042
00:59:13,547 --> 00:59:15,538
Yes, now we're building.
1043
00:59:15,716 --> 00:59:19,482
We want you to be as happy as you can
before you leave us.
1044
00:59:19,553 --> 00:59:21,350
When's that gonna be?
1045
00:59:21,522 --> 00:59:23,513
I'm afraid very soon.
1046
00:59:24,325 --> 00:59:27,317
Any chance you cutting out with me?
1047
00:59:28,262 --> 00:59:31,026
Sorry, that's just not possible.
1048
00:59:32,199 --> 00:59:36,568
I got a hunch that you and I
could make it pretty good.
1049
00:59:37,304 --> 00:59:38,669
Please.
1050
00:59:38,739 --> 00:59:41,469
- Please, stop saying those things.
- Why?
1051
00:59:41,876 --> 00:59:44,344
Because it just doesn't make sense.
1052
00:59:44,411 --> 00:59:46,743
I don't see why everything
has to make sense.
1053
00:59:47,181 --> 00:59:52,175
People like us have got to make sense
and be practical and logical.
1054
00:59:53,487 --> 00:59:58,220
"Let's not be sensible"
1055
00:59:58,292 --> 01:00:03,161
"Let's not be practical"
1056
01:00:03,230 --> 01:00:06,597
"Let's just start acting"
1057
01:00:06,667 --> 01:00:10,467
"Like people in love"
1058
01:00:12,506 --> 01:00:15,270
"Others may run"
1059
01:00:16,043 --> 01:00:19,012
"From romances"
1060
01:00:20,314 --> 01:00:22,874
"But I for one"
1061
01:00:22,950 --> 01:00:25,441
"Want to take the fun"
1062
01:00:25,653 --> 01:00:27,917
"And the chances"
1063
01:00:30,524 --> 01:00:35,052
"We could be so comfortable"
1064
01:00:35,129 --> 01:00:39,862
"If you'd be affable"
1065
01:00:39,934 --> 01:00:43,233
"One kiss could leave me"
1066
01:00:43,304 --> 01:00:47,070
"As limp as a glove"
1067
01:00:49,176 --> 01:00:54,170
"Anything else we'd think of"
1068
01:00:56,617 --> 01:01:01,611
"Is incomprehensible"
1069
01:01:02,389 --> 01:01:06,553
"Let's not be sensible"
1070
01:01:06,627 --> 01:01:11,064
"Let's just start falling in..."
1071
01:01:11,131 --> 01:01:15,534
"Let's please be sensible"
1072
01:01:15,603 --> 01:01:20,199
"Let's please be practical"
1073
01:01:20,274 --> 01:01:24,267
"Let's not start acting like"
1074
01:01:25,446 --> 01:01:27,914
"People in love"
1075
01:01:29,049 --> 01:01:32,541
"Anything else"
1076
01:01:32,620 --> 01:01:35,111
"We'd think of"
1077
01:01:37,258 --> 01:01:42,252
"Is incomprehensible"
1078
01:01:42,763 --> 01:01:46,893
"Let's not be sensible"
1079
01:01:46,967 --> 01:01:51,961
"Let's just start falling in..."
1080
01:01:53,274 --> 01:01:56,141
"Let's please"
1081
01:01:56,777 --> 01:01:58,870
"Be sensible"
1082
01:01:59,179 --> 01:02:02,080
"Let's please..."
1083
01:02:03,651 --> 01:02:04,811
Diane!
1084
01:02:05,452 --> 01:02:07,977
Report to the laboratory immediately.
1085
01:02:08,289 --> 01:02:09,449
Yes, sir.
1086
01:02:09,523 --> 01:02:10,888
- Hey!
- Not now.
1087
01:02:10,958 --> 01:02:11,982
- When?
- Later.
1088
01:02:12,059 --> 01:02:13,424
- Where?
- My apartment.
1089
01:02:13,494 --> 01:02:15,257
Okay, I'll be there.
1090
01:02:19,633 --> 01:02:21,294
I can't understand it.
1091
01:02:21,535 --> 01:02:24,026
We know he has the formula on his mind.
1092
01:02:24,104 --> 01:02:28,370
When Dr. Zorbb administered the drug,
he remembered nothing and fell to sleep.
1093
01:02:28,609 --> 01:02:32,340
Do you remember what you did
when he spoke those few lines of formula?
1094
01:02:32,980 --> 01:02:37,576
Yes, I just moved in to him, like this,
and kissed him on the cheek, like that.
1095
01:02:37,885 --> 01:02:39,113
The earrings!
1096
01:02:39,186 --> 01:02:40,278
Earrings?
1097
01:02:40,354 --> 01:02:44,552
Don't you see? Moon-shaped earrings.
He's suffering from moonomania.
1098
01:02:44,625 --> 01:02:45,990
Moonomania?
1099
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:49,254
Yes, it's a conditioned reflex
that crystallizes his superego...
1100
01:02:49,330 --> 01:02:51,321
...allowing the unconscious to come through.
1101
01:02:51,398 --> 01:02:54,128
You mean he's susceptible
to any image of the moon?
1102
01:02:54,535 --> 01:02:57,834
Particularly when his attention
is sharply focused.
1103
01:02:58,005 --> 01:03:00,701
His mind is in a peculiar state of balance.
1104
01:03:00,774 --> 01:03:04,801
Any undue strain and he could easily
be pushed into a state of lunacy.
1105
01:03:04,878 --> 01:03:07,142
Then we'd lose the formula forever.
1106
01:03:07,214 --> 01:03:09,808
Well, how do we proceed?
1107
01:03:10,050 --> 01:03:11,540
Diane.
1108
01:03:12,953 --> 01:03:14,113
Diane.
1109
01:03:14,355 --> 01:03:17,188
- Sir?
- He'll be brought to your quarters.
1110
01:03:17,257 --> 01:03:20,124
I needn't tell you what
this means to the cause.
1111
01:03:20,194 --> 01:03:21,354
Quite.
1112
01:03:21,729 --> 01:03:24,630
I don't have to say any more, do I?
1113
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,967
- You'll get the formula, sir.
- Good girl.
1114
01:03:54,461 --> 01:03:55,655
Chester.
1115
01:04:00,534 --> 01:04:01,865
Come in.
1116
01:04:04,505 --> 01:04:06,973
Where am I? How did I get here?
1117
01:04:07,041 --> 01:04:08,838
What am I doing here?
1118
01:04:10,210 --> 01:04:12,644
Why am I asking these silly questions?
1119
01:04:14,848 --> 01:04:18,841
- You're here because I requested you.
- Good thinking.
1120
01:04:19,620 --> 01:04:23,647
Don't you think it's about time
you and I really got to know each other?
1121
01:04:23,924 --> 01:04:25,414
We're overdue.
1122
01:04:26,593 --> 01:04:30,290
Do you have any idea
of the kind of woman I really am?
1123
01:04:30,364 --> 01:04:32,264
No, but I have high hopes.
1124
01:04:32,332 --> 01:04:33,856
I'll tell you what I'm like.
1125
01:04:34,134 --> 01:04:36,602
I know what I want when I see what I want.
1126
01:04:36,703 --> 01:04:39,171
And when I see what I want, I want it.
1127
01:04:39,473 --> 01:04:41,031
- Do you see it?
- I see it.
1128
01:04:41,108 --> 01:04:42,439
- You want it?
- I want it.
1129
01:04:42,509 --> 01:04:43,874
You got it.
1130
01:04:44,211 --> 01:04:47,112
You mind if I move a little closer?
1131
01:04:47,247 --> 01:04:48,976
Live a little.
1132
01:04:49,383 --> 01:04:52,682
Chester, you're such a dear, sweet man.
1133
01:04:52,753 --> 01:04:57,349
Brave, masculine, irresistible.
1134
01:04:57,424 --> 01:05:00,655
I don't know.
I'm just your ordinary, everyday astronaut.
1135
01:05:00,894 --> 01:05:02,555
Don't be modest.
1136
01:05:02,729 --> 01:05:07,393
You know, Chester,
you're the sort of man that I could love.
1137
01:05:07,468 --> 01:05:08,662
Could you?
1138
01:05:08,769 --> 01:05:10,794
Yes, I could, Chester.
1139
01:05:10,971 --> 01:05:14,065
I could love you, body and soul.
1140
01:05:14,508 --> 01:05:16,908
They're available, in that order.
1141
01:05:17,377 --> 01:05:20,869
Hold me, Chester. Hold me closer.
1142
01:05:23,584 --> 01:05:27,418
She'll get the formula at any moment now.
Start the recording.
1143
01:05:29,289 --> 01:05:30,916
Talk to me, Chester.
1144
01:05:30,991 --> 01:05:33,323
Talk is for amateurs.
You're working with a pro.
1145
01:05:33,393 --> 01:05:35,452
Please, just talk to me.
1146
01:05:35,529 --> 01:05:37,224
Well, pick a subject.
1147
01:05:39,166 --> 01:05:42,363
What did you think of me,
that first day at the airport?
1148
01:05:42,436 --> 01:05:45,997
I took one look at you and I knew that...
1149
01:05:46,340 --> 01:05:48,205
"...the quadrant of the escape velocity..."
1150
01:05:48,275 --> 01:05:51,176
"...equals the speed of trajectory
minus the initial thrust..."
1151
01:05:51,245 --> 01:05:54,510
"...so that the combustion ratio
of the higher-octane fuel element..."
1152
01:05:54,581 --> 01:05:57,709
Go on, darling.
What happens when you think about me?
1153
01:05:57,784 --> 01:05:59,843
When I think of you, I think of...
1154
01:05:59,920 --> 01:06:01,512
"...dual carburetors."
1155
01:06:01,588 --> 01:06:02,850
Dual carburetors?
1156
01:06:02,923 --> 01:06:04,254
"Marvelous dual carburetors..."
1157
01:06:04,324 --> 01:06:05,348
Yes?
1158
01:06:05,425 --> 01:06:09,589
"...which will enable the intake
manifold to accelerate dynamically."
1159
01:06:10,831 --> 01:06:12,958
Yes, what does that do, Chester?
1160
01:06:13,033 --> 01:06:16,298
"Increases escape velocity."
1161
01:06:17,171 --> 01:06:18,536
Those carburetors!
1162
01:06:18,605 --> 01:06:20,539
Don't stop, Chester. Keep talking.
1163
01:06:20,607 --> 01:06:22,632
Those dual carburetors...
1164
01:06:22,709 --> 01:06:24,040
Yes, Chester?
1165
01:06:24,111 --> 01:06:26,045
"...which relieve the digital computers..."
1166
01:06:26,113 --> 01:06:27,842
"...and the escape velocity..."
1167
01:06:27,915 --> 01:06:29,280
Go on, Chester.
1168
01:06:29,349 --> 01:06:31,249
I'd rather go back to dual carburetors.
1169
01:06:31,318 --> 01:06:32,979
What happens next, Chester?
1170
01:06:33,053 --> 01:06:36,216
"The escape velocity reaches
three times the speed of sound..."
1171
01:06:36,290 --> 01:06:37,917
"...dynamically..."
1172
01:06:37,991 --> 01:06:39,515
How much more?
1173
01:06:39,927 --> 01:06:43,260
He's nearing the final phase.
But I'm getting concerned about Diane.
1174
01:06:43,330 --> 01:06:44,456
Concerned?
1175
01:06:44,531 --> 01:06:47,295
She's showing dangerously
sentimental tendencies.
1176
01:06:47,367 --> 01:06:48,459
Look.
1177
01:06:48,535 --> 01:06:50,765
Chester, you're such a dear.
1178
01:06:51,438 --> 01:06:53,201
Please, hold me closer.
1179
01:06:53,273 --> 01:06:55,935
I want to marry you. I want the whole bit.
1180
01:06:56,009 --> 01:06:57,033
Chester.
1181
01:06:57,110 --> 01:06:59,442
Because I love you. I love your eyes.
1182
01:06:59,513 --> 01:07:01,504
I love your skin, I love your...
1183
01:07:01,582 --> 01:07:03,379
"...dual carburetors."
1184
01:07:03,450 --> 01:07:04,576
Do you really?
1185
01:07:04,651 --> 01:07:08,246
"And when your lower octane component
mixes with your nuclear distillate...
1186
01:07:08,855 --> 01:07:10,755
"...on a ratio three times the quotient..."
1187
01:07:10,824 --> 01:07:12,815
"...of your reverse thrust manipulator..."
1188
01:07:12,893 --> 01:07:15,327
Brave Chester, pathetic Chester.
1189
01:07:15,395 --> 01:07:16,419
"...which is equal to..."
1190
01:07:16,496 --> 01:07:17,724
Doomed Chester.
1191
01:07:17,798 --> 01:07:21,029
"...the sum of your numerators
multiplied by your square roots."
1192
01:07:21,168 --> 01:07:23,762
Believe me, you've got
the squarest roots I've ever seen.
1193
01:07:23,837 --> 01:07:26,305
No, stop! I can't let you go on anymore!
1194
01:07:26,373 --> 01:07:27,431
Diane!
1195
01:07:27,507 --> 01:07:28,633
Yes, sir.
1196
01:07:28,709 --> 01:07:31,041
You will come to the office at once!
1197
01:07:31,111 --> 01:07:32,169
Yes, sir.
1198
01:07:32,246 --> 01:07:34,146
Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going?
1199
01:07:34,214 --> 01:07:36,512
I have to go. But Chester...
1200
01:07:36,583 --> 01:07:39,746
Dear, sweet, darling, adorable Chester.
1201
01:07:39,820 --> 01:07:41,117
Comes through, doesn't it?
1202
01:07:41,188 --> 01:07:44,123
Trust me, and you'll come to no harm.
1203
01:07:44,191 --> 01:07:46,591
Trust me, and I make no promises.
1204
01:07:46,693 --> 01:07:47,921
Goodbye.
1205
01:07:50,764 --> 01:07:51,992
I'll be back.
1206
01:07:52,065 --> 01:07:53,396
Naturally.
1207
01:07:55,636 --> 01:07:59,003
You beast. You've still got it, haven't you?
1208
01:08:01,108 --> 01:08:04,202
I may package it
and call it "Instant Charm."
1209
01:08:04,378 --> 01:08:05,970
Darling, back already?
1210
01:08:06,046 --> 01:08:08,844
You brought flowers. That's unnecessary.
1211
01:08:10,250 --> 01:08:11,615
What are you doing here?
1212
01:08:11,685 --> 01:08:13,016
I just fell off a porpoise.
1213
01:08:13,086 --> 01:08:15,179
I thought I'd pop in
and borrow a cup of rice.
1214
01:08:15,255 --> 01:08:18,588
That's nice, but I'm saving all my rice
for a forthcoming wedding.
1215
01:08:18,659 --> 01:08:22,186
How sweet, how terribly sweet.
Then Diane has told you about us.
1216
01:08:22,262 --> 01:08:24,025
Yes, and better luck with the next girl.
1217
01:08:24,097 --> 01:08:25,655
I have a late flash for you, junior.
1218
01:08:25,732 --> 01:08:29,896
I happen to be here by invitation of the
lovely occupant of this cozy little pad.
1219
01:08:29,970 --> 01:08:31,494
I'll tell her when she comes back.
1220
01:08:31,571 --> 01:08:33,232
- You'll tell her?
- Thanks for these.
1221
01:08:33,307 --> 01:08:35,707
Where are you going with the greenery?
Just a minute.
1222
01:08:35,776 --> 01:08:37,744
That's nice. Don't call us, we'll call you.
1223
01:08:37,811 --> 01:08:39,369
And use the servants' entrance, will you?
1224
01:08:39,713 --> 01:08:42,147
You were acting directly against my orders.
1225
01:08:42,215 --> 01:08:44,240
I couldn't help it, sir.
1226
01:08:44,318 --> 01:08:47,913
I knew that the moment I had the formula
they both had to die.
1227
01:08:48,855 --> 01:08:50,846
An hour ago, she flipped over me.
1228
01:08:50,924 --> 01:08:53,051
- I don't dig it.
- That's understandable.
1229
01:08:53,126 --> 01:08:56,254
An impressionable young thing
falls for an elderly fellow.
1230
01:08:56,330 --> 01:08:58,491
She probably thought you
were a father figure.
1231
01:08:58,565 --> 01:08:59,623
Father figure?
1232
01:08:59,700 --> 01:09:02,168
Yes, then she realized
you had your father's figure.
1233
01:09:02,235 --> 01:09:04,203
That's clever, that's very good.
1234
01:09:04,271 --> 01:09:05,738
Kind of fit, didn't it?
1235
01:09:05,806 --> 01:09:06,932
- Please.
- What's the matter?
1236
01:09:07,007 --> 01:09:10,465
Don't do that. We find it difficult
getting help down here in the deep.
1237
01:09:10,544 --> 01:09:12,705
- I still don't understand.
- We have to be tidy.
1238
01:09:12,779 --> 01:09:15,543
She was there, I sang the song,
everything seemed to be...
1239
01:09:15,615 --> 01:09:18,584
Look, Harry, sit down.
Let me give you the scam on romance.
1240
01:09:18,652 --> 01:09:20,313
You see, some fellas have it...
1241
01:09:20,387 --> 01:09:21,820
- Yeah?
...and some fellas don't.
1242
01:09:21,888 --> 01:09:24,857
When I get back from my honeymoon,
if I have an hour or two...
1243
01:09:24,925 --> 01:09:26,449
...I may loan you some.
1244
01:09:26,526 --> 01:09:27,720
Yeah, I'll have it analyzed.
1245
01:09:27,794 --> 01:09:30,854
Yes, well don't take it too hard.
1246
01:09:30,931 --> 01:09:32,558
I want you to stay for the wedding...
1247
01:09:32,632 --> 01:09:36,329
...because after all,
we'll need a fat flower girl and I think...
1248
01:09:36,536 --> 01:09:38,094
Diane, I want the truth.
1249
01:09:38,338 --> 01:09:41,364
The plain, dispassionate, unadorned truth.
1250
01:09:41,441 --> 01:09:42,840
Why did you stop?
1251
01:09:42,909 --> 01:09:47,209
You were within two sentences of getting
the complete formula off Babcock's mind.
1252
01:09:47,280 --> 01:09:48,975
I couldn't help it, sir.
1253
01:09:49,049 --> 01:09:51,415
I kept seeing them on the operating table...
1254
01:09:51,485 --> 01:09:54,352
...being dissected, organ by organ.
1255
01:09:54,521 --> 01:09:57,012
That's the last time I get mixed up
with a med student.
1256
01:09:57,090 --> 01:09:58,648
- C'mon, let's blow!
- Wait. Look!
1257
01:09:58,725 --> 01:10:01,660
Please, sir, won't you spare them?
1258
01:10:01,728 --> 01:10:05,494
You seem to have grown
inordinately fond of these men.
1259
01:10:05,599 --> 01:10:07,464
Yes, it's true.
1260
01:10:07,901 --> 01:10:10,392
I do like them both, very much.
1261
01:10:10,937 --> 01:10:12,234
How about that?
1262
01:10:12,305 --> 01:10:13,738
This kid's in trouble.
1263
01:10:13,807 --> 01:10:16,970
Personal sentimentality has
no place in our movement.
1264
01:10:17,043 --> 01:10:18,635
Surely, sir, humanity demands...
1265
01:10:18,712 --> 01:10:21,909
I'll decide what humanity demands,
and I'll decide it my own way.
1266
01:10:21,982 --> 01:10:26,282
I'll deal with humanity as I please,
and I'll do with humanity as I choose!
1267
01:10:26,353 --> 01:10:29,447
And I'll do it from the moon
with my radial-lunar bombs!
1268
01:10:29,589 --> 01:10:31,523
Surely you don't intend to use those bombs!
1269
01:10:31,591 --> 01:10:36,494
Just enough to rid us of the tiresome
unemployed, the tedious, unwashed masses.
1270
01:10:36,563 --> 01:10:40,090
I'll level London and New York,
Rome and Moscow...
1271
01:10:40,167 --> 01:10:44,570
...Paris and Tokyo,
outmoded centers of a decadent civilization.
1272
01:10:44,638 --> 01:10:48,938
I'll rebuild the world according to my
image, after my own specifications!
1273
01:10:49,009 --> 01:10:52,172
How about this guy?
We get killed and he wins an Academy Award.
1274
01:10:52,245 --> 01:10:55,078
Sounds more like Adolf than Oscar.
Let's get out of here.
1275
01:10:55,315 --> 01:10:57,010
You're stark, raving mad.
1276
01:10:57,083 --> 01:11:00,541
But not blind.
I can still recognize a traitor. Seize her.
1277
01:11:00,620 --> 01:11:03,851
Can we get the formula
off that idiot's mind without her?
1278
01:11:03,924 --> 01:11:06,722
For the final equation,
any moon symbol will do.
1279
01:11:06,793 --> 01:11:08,920
Very well, then.
Dispose of our little friend.
1280
01:11:08,995 --> 01:11:11,828
See that the sharks are not kept waiting.
1281
01:11:17,671 --> 01:11:20,640
- How do we get out of here?
- The submarine. I can handle it.
1282
01:11:20,707 --> 01:11:22,436
I know. I read the script.
1283
01:11:22,509 --> 01:11:23,874
Come on.
1284
01:11:28,448 --> 01:11:31,474
Attention! Emergency!
All security personnel!
1285
01:11:31,551 --> 01:11:33,280
Babcock, Turner and Diane have escaped.
1286
01:11:33,353 --> 01:11:36,220
Apprehend them and get the rest of
the formula from Babcock...
1287
01:11:36,289 --> 01:11:37,881
...and I don't care how.
1288
01:12:18,365 --> 01:12:20,333
Cover that side. You go up there.
1289
01:12:23,770 --> 01:12:24,964
Wait, over there!
1290
01:12:25,038 --> 01:12:26,972
Weve got to get out of these clothes!
1291
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:29,600
Yeah, if we could only get
something like that.
1292
01:12:29,843 --> 01:12:31,674
That's no problem.
1293
01:12:31,745 --> 01:12:34,077
Hey, Special Effects!
1294
01:12:34,147 --> 01:12:36,047
Us, them!
1295
01:12:38,351 --> 01:12:39,511
Gosh.
1296
01:12:39,586 --> 01:12:42,316
Hey, thanks!
You saved us doing a whole scene!
1297
01:12:42,389 --> 01:12:44,186
You see, we'd have to...
1298
01:12:45,525 --> 01:12:46,890
Here they are!
1299
01:13:14,754 --> 01:13:16,381
We've got to get to the police!
1300
01:13:16,456 --> 01:13:18,549
- How far?
- Two blocks.
1301
01:13:18,625 --> 01:13:20,593
- No!
- No way to get through there.
1302
01:13:20,660 --> 01:13:22,753
There must be something we can do.
1303
01:13:22,829 --> 01:13:25,889
The rickshaw. It's our only chance!
1304
01:13:29,169 --> 01:13:32,730
- Grab the poles, quick!
- Okay. Wait a minute.
1305
01:13:32,806 --> 01:13:34,000
What's the matter?
1306
01:13:34,074 --> 01:13:36,338
How come I always pull and you always ride?
1307
01:13:36,409 --> 01:13:38,707
Nature of the relationship.
Brains versus brawn.
1308
01:13:38,778 --> 01:13:40,211
You think you've got the brains?
1309
01:13:40,280 --> 01:13:41,611
- How much is two and two?
- Four.
1310
01:13:41,681 --> 01:13:42,739
- Four and four?
- Eight.
1311
01:13:42,816 --> 01:13:45,114
- Eight and eight?
- Get in.
1312
01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:50,517
Hey! Which way?
1313
01:13:51,791 --> 01:13:53,190
Got a match?
1314
01:13:54,127 --> 01:13:55,492
Never mind.
1315
01:13:59,766 --> 01:14:01,461
Hung up, eh?
1316
01:14:01,534 --> 01:14:04,594
That's what you get
for playing in these Chinese Westerns.
1317
01:14:04,671 --> 01:14:07,071
They'll string 'em up every time.
1318
01:14:08,575 --> 01:14:10,372
Here we go again!
1319
01:14:10,443 --> 01:14:12,343
Let's hide in here!
1320
01:14:15,715 --> 01:14:17,182
There's only one thing to do.
1321
01:14:17,250 --> 01:14:20,742
You've got to get Chester out of Hong Kong.
Go take the first plane.
1322
01:14:20,820 --> 01:14:22,287
How? We've no money...
1323
01:14:22,355 --> 01:14:25,119
I've got $500 in a locker
at the airport for an emergency.
1324
01:14:25,191 --> 01:14:27,421
Take the key, I'll try and reach the police.
1325
01:14:27,494 --> 01:14:29,553
Meanwhile, good luck, and goodbye.
1326
01:14:29,629 --> 01:14:30,687
You, too, Chester.
1327
01:14:30,764 --> 01:14:33,631
Take care of yourself,
because if anything happens to your...
1328
01:14:33,700 --> 01:14:36,430
"...thrust propellant ratio
of the atmospheric density..."
1329
01:14:36,503 --> 01:14:38,334
Chester!
1330
01:14:40,306 --> 01:14:41,739
Good luck.
1331
01:14:58,258 --> 01:15:00,226
You two, cover that side of the street.
1332
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:02,221
Come on. In here.
1333
01:15:05,932 --> 01:15:09,197
You select which fish you want,
I give good Chinese meal.
1334
01:15:09,536 --> 01:15:11,299
I'll take that one.
1335
01:15:12,338 --> 01:15:14,238
Let's get out. There must be a back way.
1336
01:15:14,307 --> 01:15:15,865
- You got the key?
- Right here.
1337
01:15:15,942 --> 01:15:17,000
- Give it to me.
- What for?
1338
01:15:17,077 --> 01:15:18,408
- I'm still the treasurer.
- So?
1339
01:15:18,478 --> 01:15:23,245
So if the stuff's still in the treasurer's head,
the key is in the treasurer's hand, so give it.
1340
01:15:23,717 --> 01:15:25,651
- Very clever.
- Why didn't you hand it to me?
1341
01:15:25,719 --> 01:15:26,743
You blew the stuff.
1342
01:15:26,820 --> 01:15:28,617
- Who's got it?
- I think that one.
1343
01:15:28,688 --> 01:15:30,053
He's heavier. See how he acts?
1344
01:15:30,123 --> 01:15:32,421
- The one that looks like Jackie Gleason?
- No.
1345
01:15:40,700 --> 01:15:42,167
I think it was that one.
1346
01:15:42,235 --> 01:15:44,999
- Which one was it?
- Which one's got the key?
1347
01:15:45,071 --> 01:15:48,507
- Who knows? We'll have to buy them all.
- With what? We have no money.
1348
01:15:48,575 --> 01:15:51,066
We'll borrow them. This one, right here.
1349
01:15:53,613 --> 01:15:55,877
Here, what you do with my fish?
1350
01:15:56,382 --> 01:15:58,407
- You the proprietor here?
- Ah, so.
1351
01:15:58,485 --> 01:16:00,953
Mr. Ahso. Say,
you got pretty filthy joint here.
1352
01:16:01,020 --> 01:16:04,353
How many cockroaches you got in
your kitchen? 400? 500?
1353
01:16:04,424 --> 01:16:05,755
I no have 400 cockroaches!
1354
01:16:05,825 --> 01:16:07,190
Fine, let's say 300.
1355
01:16:07,260 --> 01:16:09,854
How long it's been
since you clean your chopstick?
1356
01:16:11,731 --> 01:16:13,722
Board of Health gets very mad at this.
1357
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:14,824
Board of Health?
1358
01:16:14,901 --> 01:16:18,200
That's why we're here, to give you
protection. We're with the FBI.
1359
01:16:18,571 --> 01:16:20,698
Fish Protectors Incorporated.
1360
01:16:20,774 --> 01:16:22,867
Fish Protector, FPI.
1361
01:16:22,942 --> 01:16:25,103
What do you want, spelling or protection?
1362
01:16:29,883 --> 01:16:32,147
What's the matter?
You want to dance or something?
1363
01:16:32,218 --> 01:16:35,585
No, I just nervous.
I nervous about the Halibut Mob.
1364
01:16:35,655 --> 01:16:38,021
They come from Macao with
a big load of smelt.
1365
01:16:38,091 --> 01:16:39,456
Smelt?
1366
01:16:40,360 --> 01:16:42,794
- You smell smelt here?
- No smell smelt.
1367
01:16:42,862 --> 01:16:45,888
You no smell smelt?
Of all the smelt I ever smelled...
1368
01:16:45,965 --> 01:16:49,128
...this is the schmeltiest schmeller
of the year.
1369
01:16:50,036 --> 01:16:51,333
I no smell smelt.
1370
01:16:51,404 --> 01:16:54,737
You don't? Well, there's something
wrong with your schmelt schmeller.
1371
01:16:54,808 --> 01:16:57,208
There's something funny here.
1372
01:16:57,277 --> 01:16:59,837
How come you dress like Chinee?
You no Chinee.
1373
01:16:59,913 --> 01:17:01,676
- I no Chinee?
- You no look Chinee.
1374
01:17:01,748 --> 01:17:03,773
What you say, I no look Chinee?
1375
01:17:03,850 --> 01:17:05,784
Your eye and hair no look Chinee.
1376
01:17:05,852 --> 01:17:09,481
I have operation, very expensive.
I have eye fix, push-in.
1377
01:17:09,556 --> 01:17:11,023
And I have hair fix.
1378
01:17:11,090 --> 01:17:13,081
Should have nose fix.
1379
01:17:13,159 --> 01:17:15,923
You stick to your cockroaches,
you understand?
1380
01:17:17,363 --> 01:17:19,661
Hey, the boat's loaded. Let's sail.
1381
01:17:19,732 --> 01:17:21,757
Don't get your protection from anybody else.
1382
01:17:21,835 --> 01:17:23,735
Hey, you steal my fish!
1383
01:17:30,443 --> 01:17:32,638
There they are. Come on!
1384
01:17:35,248 --> 01:17:36,306
Come. This way!
1385
01:17:36,382 --> 01:17:38,009
- We're cooked.
- The end of the road.
1386
01:17:38,084 --> 01:17:39,449
No way out.
1387
01:17:41,221 --> 01:17:43,348
- You hear what I hear?
- It's Dorothy Lamour!
1388
01:17:43,423 --> 01:17:44,981
- She'll get us out.
- You think so?
1389
01:17:45,058 --> 01:17:48,221
Certainly. You can't finish
the picture in the alley. Come on!
1390
01:17:51,798 --> 01:17:54,733
Okay, fella. Just looking for somebody.
1391
01:17:55,735 --> 01:17:57,760
There she is. Dottie!
1392
01:17:57,837 --> 01:18:01,295
Well, boys! What in the world
are you doing over here in Hong Kong?
1393
01:18:01,374 --> 01:18:02,398
We're in a terrible jam.
1394
01:18:02,475 --> 01:18:04,272
Help us. Some guys are chasing us.
1395
01:18:04,344 --> 01:18:08,041
Killers. If you don't save us,
there'll be blood all over the screen.
1396
01:18:08,114 --> 01:18:10,344
Don't fight it. Look
what it did for Spartacus.
1397
01:18:10,416 --> 01:18:12,281
You've got to help us, we're still pals.
1398
01:18:12,352 --> 01:18:14,547
You can't forget the pictures
we made together!
1399
01:18:14,621 --> 01:18:17,681
Neither can anyone else.
That's why I'm working over here!
1400
01:18:23,963 --> 01:18:25,692
They sure don't look like chorus boys!
1401
01:18:25,765 --> 01:18:27,699
Those guys mean business. They're killers.
1402
01:18:27,767 --> 01:18:29,564
Besides that, they're unfriendly.
1403
01:18:30,904 --> 01:18:32,667
You see, the key is in the fish.
1404
01:18:32,739 --> 01:18:36,038
We're trying to get to the locker,
and we've got the formula...
1405
01:18:36,109 --> 01:18:38,100
Wait a minute!
1406
01:18:38,778 --> 01:18:42,077
Is that the plot of the picture so far?
I'd better hide you.
1407
01:18:42,148 --> 01:18:44,048
- From the killers?
- From the critics.
1408
01:18:44,117 --> 01:18:46,950
Come on, there's only one safe place.
On stage.
1409
01:18:47,020 --> 01:18:49,079
Come on, get dressed.
1410
01:18:49,155 --> 01:18:51,749
- Right in there.
- Yeah, in there.
1411
01:18:53,026 --> 01:18:55,324
You never want to have any fun!
1412
01:18:56,062 --> 01:18:57,825
Check the front of the house.
1413
01:19:13,980 --> 01:19:17,916
"The world is a shimmering thing"
1414
01:19:17,984 --> 01:19:21,977
"My lover is hastening to me"
1415
01:19:22,055 --> 01:19:25,786
"The night is a glimmering thing"
1416
01:19:25,858 --> 01:19:30,488
"And I, the envy of all who view me"
1417
01:19:31,264 --> 01:19:36,258
"Soon the music will start"
1418
01:19:40,340 --> 01:19:43,503
"Is that the door"
1419
01:19:45,011 --> 01:19:47,775
"Or my heart?"
1420
01:20:33,192 --> 01:20:37,993
"You smile that angel smile at me"
1421
01:20:38,064 --> 01:20:39,326
"And presto!"
1422
01:20:39,399 --> 01:20:41,560
"There's that chemistry"
1423
01:20:41,634 --> 01:20:44,626
"I'm warmer than a whisper"
1424
01:20:47,073 --> 01:20:50,474
"I don't know what it is you do"
1425
01:20:50,543 --> 01:20:53,944
"But every time I'm close to you"
1426
01:20:54,013 --> 01:20:57,847
"I'm warmer than a whisper"
1427
01:21:00,453 --> 01:21:05,447
"On the outside it could be December"
1428
01:21:05,858 --> 01:21:09,954
"Winter just having its fling"
1429
01:21:12,865 --> 01:21:17,859
"But you've got me glowing like an ember"
1430
01:21:18,404 --> 01:21:23,103
"For here in your arms, it's spring"
1431
01:21:24,310 --> 01:21:27,302
"And when you bring your lips to mine"
1432
01:21:27,380 --> 01:21:30,975
"I'm blushing like a valentine"
1433
01:21:31,517 --> 01:21:34,509
"And sighing like a willow"
1434
01:21:36,722 --> 01:21:39,987
"Although it sounds a bit insane"
1435
01:21:40,059 --> 01:21:45,053
"I'm misty just like summer rain"
1436
01:21:45,798 --> 01:21:47,265
"From above"
1437
01:21:53,573 --> 01:21:58,567
"If they ask me to explain the magic"
1438
01:21:58,878 --> 01:22:03,872
"The wonders your kisses perform"
1439
01:22:04,784 --> 01:22:08,413
"I'll simply say it's always May"
1440
01:22:08,488 --> 01:22:11,423
"So let the winds get crisper"
1441
01:22:11,491 --> 01:22:14,483
"I'm warmer than a whisper"
1442
01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:17,654
"And all because you whisper"
1443
01:22:17,730 --> 01:22:20,722
"I'm warmer than a whisper"
1444
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:25,567
"And all because you whisper of love"
1445
01:22:40,887 --> 01:22:45,881
"On the outside it could be December"
1446
01:22:45,958 --> 01:22:50,895
"Winter just having its fling"
1447
01:22:51,130 --> 01:22:56,124
"But you've got me glowing like an ember"
1448
01:22:56,369 --> 01:23:01,363
"For here in your arms it's spring"
1449
01:23:03,509 --> 01:23:08,503
"The thrust propellant's ratio
to atmospheric density"
1450
01:23:08,614 --> 01:23:10,775
"Is 6-4-3-2-7"
1451
01:23:10,850 --> 01:23:14,286
Operator, this is an emergency.
Get the American Security Headquarters!
1452
01:23:14,353 --> 01:23:18,380
"Specific gravitation has a pull
that is equivalent"
1453
01:23:18,457 --> 01:23:20,755
"To 9-3-5-11"
1454
01:23:20,826 --> 01:23:23,852
But he's giving the formula to them now.
Listen!
1455
01:23:23,930 --> 01:23:27,832
"For the final setting of the mixture"
1456
01:23:27,900 --> 01:23:31,597
"Add hydrogen 6-2, and then"
1457
01:23:33,039 --> 01:23:37,840
"The rocket's ready now to blast off
Set ignition lever"
1458
01:23:37,910 --> 01:23:41,937
"And start the final countdown from 10"
1459
01:23:53,125 --> 01:23:56,754
Come on, no.
Come on, before they blow up the world!
1460
01:23:56,829 --> 01:23:58,421
- What world?
- You sang the formula!
1461
01:23:58,497 --> 01:24:00,260
- I did?
- Yes, and in my key!
1462
01:24:00,333 --> 01:24:03,166
- No!
- Yes, a little flat, too, you copycat.
1463
01:24:04,670 --> 01:24:07,138
Come on, get in there
where I hung your clothes up.
1464
01:24:07,206 --> 01:24:09,071
- Hurry up!
- It's dark in here!
1465
01:24:09,141 --> 01:24:11,200
Watch the window. See if the coast is clear.
1466
01:24:11,277 --> 01:24:13,871
- Okay.
- You've got the coldest hands.
1467
01:24:15,047 --> 01:24:17,982
They're driving off in their cars now.
You'd better hurry.
1468
01:24:23,823 --> 01:24:25,654
Sweet Leilani!
1469
01:24:25,725 --> 01:24:29,183
- Well, Bloody Mary!
- You look so funny.
1470
01:24:31,063 --> 01:24:32,792
You're choking me!
1471
01:24:32,865 --> 01:24:34,526
Let's change into our right clothes.
1472
01:24:34,600 --> 01:24:36,591
You won't have time! Change in the car.
1473
01:24:36,669 --> 01:24:39,729
- What car?
- Mine. A tan Buick, outside.
1474
01:24:39,805 --> 01:24:41,568
Honey, we'll never forget you for this!
1475
01:24:41,641 --> 01:24:42,767
Call on us anytime.
1476
01:24:42,842 --> 01:24:45,242
The next time I need fresh fish.
1477
01:24:45,945 --> 01:24:48,505
We'll have these cleaned and send them back.
1478
01:24:53,786 --> 01:24:56,778
What's the matter?
Didn't you ever see a Buick before?
1479
01:24:59,458 --> 01:25:00,584
It's absolute madness!
1480
01:25:00,660 --> 01:25:01,684
You heard what he said.
1481
01:25:01,761 --> 01:25:04,821
They've got the formula.
We've got to stop that rocket.
1482
01:25:05,598 --> 01:25:07,896
Two cars. You lead the way!
1483
01:25:16,976 --> 01:25:19,103
Gentlemen, I wish you the best of luck.
1484
01:25:19,178 --> 01:25:22,739
The rocket is ready for countdown.
We await only the formula.
1485
01:25:22,815 --> 01:25:23,804
Sir, I have it!
1486
01:25:23,883 --> 01:25:25,510
- The formula?
- Every word complete.
1487
01:25:25,584 --> 01:25:27,814
How long will it take to adjust
the fuel mixture?
1488
01:25:27,887 --> 01:25:29,252
- A matter of seconds.
- Very well.
1489
01:25:29,322 --> 01:25:31,449
In a few moments, you will enter the rocket.
1490
01:25:31,524 --> 01:25:34,118
I shall trigger the bombs from here.
1491
01:25:34,193 --> 01:25:36,320
- All set!
- Take your position in the rocket.
1492
01:25:36,395 --> 01:25:40,024
- Not today, Porky!
- Not on your sister's cat's lavaliere!
1493
01:25:44,704 --> 01:25:46,069
Hey, wait!
1494
01:25:49,442 --> 01:25:50,841
Get them!
1495
01:26:12,598 --> 01:26:14,691
Thank heavens, you're safe!
1496
01:26:15,468 --> 01:26:17,333
Hey, wait a minute!
1497
01:26:23,843 --> 01:26:25,970
Get away from that panel!
1498
01:26:42,528 --> 01:26:45,224
Do something!
That rocket's loaded with atomic bombs!
1499
01:26:47,633 --> 01:26:49,897
Sorry, sir. Can't do a thing.
1500
01:26:59,445 --> 01:27:02,414
We've got to change course
or we'll blow up the world!
1501
01:27:03,215 --> 01:27:04,614
Help me!
1502
01:27:13,259 --> 01:27:14,453
They've turned it.
1503
01:27:15,194 --> 01:27:18,027
- Look! They're heading for another planet!
- Yes. Plutonius.
1504
01:27:18,097 --> 01:27:21,533
- Plutonius? Can they live there?
- Possible.
1505
01:27:21,600 --> 01:27:24,330
Is there any chance of
ever getting them back again?
1506
01:27:24,403 --> 01:27:25,870
Not a chance.
1507
01:27:26,505 --> 01:27:29,736
I'm afraid they'll be there
for the rest of their natural lives.
1508
01:27:30,609 --> 01:27:34,170
Well, all we can do then is wish them luck.
1509
01:27:39,185 --> 01:27:43,121
Nothing but rocks.
What a spot for an Irish picnic!
1510
01:27:43,722 --> 01:27:47,317
Lots of fresh water up there.
Crazy looking plants.
1511
01:27:47,793 --> 01:27:50,762
Outside of that, Nothingville, South Dakota.
1512
01:27:52,131 --> 01:27:55,794
- So here we are, stuck for life.
- Just the three of us.
1513
01:27:56,635 --> 01:27:58,262
At least we'll survive.
1514
01:27:58,337 --> 01:28:01,431
We've got everything we need,
water, sunshine, food.
1515
01:28:01,507 --> 01:28:04,999
- Everything except people.
- Correction. I have people.
1516
01:28:05,077 --> 01:28:07,045
No, drop the candy counter.
1517
01:28:07,112 --> 01:28:08,170
Where are you going?
1518
01:28:08,247 --> 01:28:09,737
You'll find something female.
1519
01:28:09,815 --> 01:28:12,079
Some attractive plant life,
some friendly grass.
1520
01:28:12,151 --> 01:28:13,482
Why don't you go climb a peak?
1521
01:28:13,552 --> 01:28:16,680
Climb a peak, see if you can flag down
a gooney bird or something.
1522
01:28:18,724 --> 01:28:19,816
Don't tear it!
1523
01:28:19,892 --> 01:28:22,053
Wait a minute!
1524
01:28:22,127 --> 01:28:24,721
There must be some sensible
solution to this problem.
1525
01:28:24,797 --> 01:28:27,061
Well, of course there is!
Two fellas, one girl.
1526
01:28:27,132 --> 01:28:29,464
Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays,
you come to my house.
1527
01:28:29,535 --> 01:28:32,095
Yes. Tuesdays, Thursdays
and Saturdays, my house.
1528
01:28:32,538 --> 01:28:35,006
- What about Sunday?
- Everybody rests.
1529
01:28:36,709 --> 01:28:39,143
Yes, that housework is murder.
1530
01:28:39,778 --> 01:28:41,871
I'm not sure I quite understand.
1531
01:28:41,947 --> 01:28:44,074
Really, it's all very simple.
1532
01:28:44,917 --> 01:28:49,013
"We three wind up together, it's teamwork!"
1533
01:28:49,455 --> 01:28:53,721
"In foul or sunny weather, it's teamwork!"
1534
01:28:53,993 --> 01:28:57,690
"This strange Design for Living
does not seem right"
1535
01:28:57,763 --> 01:28:59,628
"It's gonna take teamwork"
1536
01:28:59,999 --> 01:29:01,899
"Day and night"
1537
01:29:01,967 --> 01:29:06,563
"'Cause you're a pal, this time
we share the gal"
1538
01:29:06,639 --> 01:29:08,698
"You've lifted my morale"
1539
01:29:08,774 --> 01:29:10,503
"Can it be done?"
1540
01:29:10,576 --> 01:29:12,168
"And what fun!"
1541
01:29:12,244 --> 01:29:16,704
"The team is now a trio, it's teamwork!"
1542
01:29:17,016 --> 01:29:21,043
"Two Caesars, and one Cleo, it's teamwork!"
1543
01:29:21,120 --> 01:29:25,216
"This time it's 50-50 like friend to friend"
1544
01:29:25,291 --> 01:29:27,122
"It's gonna be teamwork!"
1545
01:29:27,192 --> 01:29:29,626
"That peaches-and-cream work"
1546
01:29:29,695 --> 01:29:31,720
"That makes-your-eyes-gleam work"
1547
01:29:31,797 --> 01:29:34,095
"That doesn't quite seem work"
1548
01:29:34,166 --> 01:29:36,293
"That right-on-the-beam work"
1549
01:29:36,368 --> 01:29:37,995
Look it here!
1550
01:29:40,606 --> 01:29:41,732
Next.
1551
01:29:43,776 --> 01:29:45,539
The Italians have landed!
1552
01:29:45,611 --> 01:29:48,512
- That's the grape and the twig.
- And they've got the bar open.
1553
01:29:48,581 --> 01:29:50,515
Let's break it up, those tourists!
1554
01:29:50,783 --> 01:29:52,978
What's going on here?
1555
01:29:53,052 --> 01:29:54,849
What are you guys doing here?
1556
01:29:54,920 --> 01:29:57,912
This is a local stop, isn't it?
Just dropped by to refuel.
1557
01:29:57,990 --> 01:30:01,391
We heard you're stuck for an end,
so we'll pull a few threads together.
1558
01:30:01,460 --> 01:30:03,485
Do it on your own loom.
1559
01:30:03,562 --> 01:30:06,861
Say, this is a lost planet.
How did you guys get here?
1560
01:30:06,932 --> 01:30:08,365
Special Effects.
1561
01:30:09,468 --> 01:30:13,336
Special Effects! How long are
you fixing to stay?
1562
01:30:13,405 --> 01:30:15,032
Haven't even thought about it.
1563
01:30:15,407 --> 01:30:17,705
- Shall we think about it?
- Let's.
1564
01:30:17,876 --> 01:30:21,368
That's long enough! Hey, Special Effects!
1565
01:30:26,752 --> 01:30:30,654
"I said it's 50-50, like friend to friend"
1566
01:30:30,723 --> 01:30:32,623
"It's gonna be teamwork!"
1567
01:30:32,691 --> 01:30:34,625
"That peaches-and-cream work!"
1568
01:30:34,693 --> 01:30:37,218
"You can't beat that teamwork"
1569
01:30:37,296 --> 01:30:39,196
"Two fellas with teamwork"
1570
01:30:39,264 --> 01:30:41,562
"Those buddies with teamwork"
1571
01:30:41,634 --> 01:30:43,864
"Two chappies with teamwork"
1572
01:30:44,336 --> 01:30:48,136
Hey, wait! Wait a minute!
Remember what we said?
1573
01:30:48,941 --> 01:30:51,273
Look, you got your 80, at least give me 20!
1574
01:30:51,343 --> 01:30:53,106
Hey, breathe awhile.
1575
01:30:53,178 --> 01:30:56,272
Hey, you, the phone,
you're wanted on the phone.
1576
01:30:56,348 --> 01:30:57,975
Special Effects!
1577
01:30:58,684 --> 01:31:01,551
No! Not me! Him, you fool!
1578
01:31:01,620 --> 01:31:03,918
How many times have I told you?
1579
01:31:04,790 --> 01:31:07,054
"You gotta have teamwork"
1580
01:31:07,126 --> 01:31:09,117
"That peaches-and-cream work"
1581
01:31:09,194 --> 01:31:14,154
"You gotta have teamwork to the end"
122839
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