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00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,977
Come in.
3
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,319
Ah, frog.
4
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,320
S. frog.
5
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,388
Shut up.
6
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:23,123
I want to have
a word with you, frog.
7
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,258
S. frog, sir.
shut up.
8
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,826
It's about your
advertising campaign
9
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,027
For conquistador coffee.
10
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,595
Now, I've had
the managing director
11
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,297
Of conquistador to see me
this morning
12
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,165
And he's very unhappy
with your campaign.
13
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,166
Very unhappy.
14
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,434
In fact, he shot himself.
15
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,937
Badly, sir?
16
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:40,474
No. extremely well.
17
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,179
Well, before he went
18
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,682
He left a note
with the company secretary.
19
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,718
The effect of which was
how disappointed he was
20
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,887
With your work
and in particular
21
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,256
Why you would change the name
22
00:00:56,290 --> 00:01:01,662
"conquistador instant coffee" to
"conquistador instant leprosy."
23
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:02,796
Why, frog?
24
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:03,630
S. frog, sir.
25
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,299
Shut up.
26
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:06,066
Why did you do it?
27
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:09,236
It was a joke.
28
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,237
A joke?
29
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,139
No. no, not a joke.
30
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,341
A sales campaign.
31
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:15,609
I see, frog.
32
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,743
S. frog, sir.
33
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:17,911
Shut up.
34
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,746
Now, let's have a look
at the sales chart.
35
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,782
When you took over
this account, frog
36
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,450
Conquistador was
brand leader.
37
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,919
Here you introduced
your first campaign--
38
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:28,055
"conquistador coffee
brings a new meaning
39
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,824
To the word 'vomit'."
40
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:34,828
Here you made your special
introductory offer
41
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,865
Of a free dead dog
with every jar.
42
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,934
And this followed
your second campaign
43
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,303
"the tingling fresh coffee
44
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:48,408
"which brings you exciting new
cholera, mange, sapportia
45
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:52,513
"dropsy, the clap, hard pad,
and athlete's head
46
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,882
From the house of conquistador."
47
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,483
It was a soft sell, sir.
48
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,651
Why, frog?
49
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:58,652
S. frog, sir.
50
00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,653
Shut up.
51
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:00,687
Well?
52
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,789
Well, people know
the name, sir.
53
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,258
They certainly do know the name.
54
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,592
They burned the factory down.
55
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,428
The owner is hiding
in my bathroom.
56
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,130
The owner was hiding
in my bathroom.
57
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:12,065
You're not going
to fire me, sir?
58
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,200
Fire you?
59
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,669
Three men dead,
the factory burned down
60
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,737
The account lost
61
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,872
And our firm
completely bankrupt.
62
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,607
What can you possibly say?
63
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,809
What excuse can
you possibly make!
64
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,611
Sorry, father.
65
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:25,779
Ah, yes.
66
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:31,185
Oh, incidentally,
your film's won a prize.
67
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:06,653
Sorry about that.
68
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:09,857
And now for something completely
69
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:10,858
Diff completely...
70
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:11,859
Diff completely...
71
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:12,860
Diff completely...
72
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:13,894
Diff completely different.
73
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,496
It's...
74
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:24,371
Monty python's flying circus.
75
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,935
1929. stanley baldwin's
conservative government
76
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:55,936
Is defeated
77
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,738
And ramsay macdonald becomes
78
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,072
For the second time
79
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:03,177
Prime minister of england.
80
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:08,015
Whew. my, it's hot in here.
81
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,213
Hello? come in.
82
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,214
Ah, hello,
hello.
83
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:41,448
How much
do you want
84
00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:42,449
For the briefcase?
85
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,450
Well, i...
86
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:44,451
All right, then
87
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:45,853
The briefcase
and the umbrella
88
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,387
A fiver down, must
be my final offer.
89
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,789
I don't really want
to sell them.
90
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:49,723
I've come for a job.
91
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:50,958
Oh, take a seat.
take a seat.
92
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:51,959
Thank you.
93
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,594
I see you chose
the canvas chair
94
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,962
With the aluminum frame.
95
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,396
I'll throw that in.
96
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,265
That and the fiver for the
briefcase and the umbrella.
97
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,967
No, make it fair,
the briefcase and the umbrella
98
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,235
And the two pens
in your breast pocket
99
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,603
And the chair's yours
and a fiver
100
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,571
And a pair of ex-german
u-boat commander's binoculars.
101
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:05,973
Really, they're not for sale.
102
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:06,974
Not for sale?
103
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:07,975
What does that mean?
104
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,309
I came about
the advertisement
105
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,744
For the job
of assistant editor.
106
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,746
Oh, yeah.
yeah, right.
107
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:13,847
Oh, okay.
108
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:16,083
Uh, how much experience
in journalism?
109
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:16,917
Five years.
110
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,151
Right. typing speed?
111
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:18,852
50.
112
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:19,887
"o" levels?
113
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:20,554
Eight.
114
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:21,355
"a" levels?
115
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:21,922
Two.
116
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,090
Right.
117
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,125
Well, I'll give
you the job...
118
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,529
And the chair and an all-wool,
ex-army sleeping bag
119
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:29,930
For the briefcase,
the umbrella
120
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,298
The pens in
your breast pocket
121
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,399
And your string vest.
122
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:33,534
When do I start?
123
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,701
Monday.
marvelous.
124
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,170
If you throw in
the shoes as well.
125
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,404
Hello, miss johnson
126
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,940
Could we have two coffee
and biscuits, please?
127
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,776
One coffee and one biscuit
for the two ex-army greatcoats
128
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,578
and the alarm clock
on the mantelpiece.
129
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,547
Two ex-army greatcoats
and the alarm clock
130
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,782
And a table lamp
for two coffees and biscuits.
131
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,684
Two greatcoats
and two table lamps.
132
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:53,787
Two greatcoats, one table lamp,
and a desert boot.
133
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,222
For two coffee and biscuits?
134
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,123
Done.
135
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,559
Done.
136
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,497
So, miss johnson returned
to her typing
137
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,666
And dreamed her little
dreamy dreams
138
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,868
Unaware as she was
of the cruel trick
139
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,436
Fate had in store for her.
140
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:12,105
For miss johnson was
about to fall victim
141
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:18,846
Of the dreaded, international
chinese communist conspiracy.
142
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,282
Yes, these fanatical fiends--
143
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:25,052
Under the leadership
of the so-called mao tse-tung--
144
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,887
Had caught miss johnson
off guard
145
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:31,625
For one brief,
but fatal moment...
146
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:33,894
And destroyed her.
147
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:37,264
Just as they are ready to do
any time free men anywhere
148
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:42,169
Waver in their defense
of democracy.
149
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,515
Yes, once again, american
defense proves its effectiveness
150
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,550
Against international communism.
151
00:06:56,583 --> 00:07:00,387
Using this diagram of a tooth
to represent any small country
152
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,123
We can see how
international communism works
153
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:07,728
By eroding away
from the inside.
154
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,364
When one country or tooth
falls victim
155
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:13,834
To international communism,
its neighbors soon follow.
156
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,904
In dentistry, this is known
as the "domino theory. "
157
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,705
But with american defense
158
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,408
The decay is stopped
before it starts.
159
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,110
And that's why nine out of ten
160
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,412
Small countries choose
american defense.
161
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,080
Or crelm toothpaste
162
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,316
With the miracle ingredient,
fraudulin.
163
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,852
The white car represents
crelm toothpaste
164
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,587
With the miracle ingredient.
165
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,355
The not-white car represents
166
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:36,623
Another toothpaste.
167
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:40,561
Both toothpastes provide
30% protection.
168
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,695
At 60% protection
169
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:45,165
Both toothpastes
are doing well.
170
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:47,801
And now, at 90% protection,
the... wait!
171
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,503
The not-white car is out.
172
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:50,904
And crelm toothpaste
173
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,373
Goes on to win
with 100% protection.
174
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:56,310
Yes, do like all
smart motorists.
175
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:59,847
Choose crelm toothpaste
or shrill petrol
176
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,784
With the new additive,
glc-9424075.
177
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,787
After 6:00 p.m., 9424047.
178
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,656
Using this white card
to represent engine deposits
179
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:10,791
And this black card
180
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,794
To represent
shrill's new additive
181
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,995
Glc-9424075--
182
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,464
After 6:00 p.m., 9424077--
183
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,366
We can see
how the engine deposits
184
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,435
Are pushed off the face
of the earth
185
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:26,740
By the superior forces
available to shrill...
186
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:30,477
Anyway, john, you can catch
the 11:30 from hornchurch
187
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,646
And be at basingstoke by 1:00.
188
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,415
Oh, and there's
a buffet car and... oh.
189
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:36,617
Daddy.
190
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,752
My hat! sir horace.
191
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,287
Has he been...?
192
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,455
Yes, after breakfast.
193
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,023
But that doesn't matter now.
194
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,358
He's dead.
195
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:45,626
Oh. poor daddy.
196
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:48,829
Looks like I shan't
be catching the 11:30 now.
197
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,030
Oh, no, john
198
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,032
You mustn't miss
your train.
199
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,268
How could I think
of catching a train
200
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,036
When I should be here
helping you?
201
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,304
Oh, john, thank you.
202
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,907
Anyway, you could always
catch the 9:30 tomorrow.
203
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,775
It goes via caterham
and chipstead.
204
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,177
Or the 9:45's even better.
205
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,546
Oh, but you'd have to
change at lambs green.
206
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:08,048
Yes, but there's only
a seven-minute wait now.
207
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,617
Oh, yes, of course. I'd
forgotten it was friday.
208
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,186
Oh, who could
have done this?
209
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,487
Oh, do hurry, sir horace.
210
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,088
Your train leaves in 28 minutes
211
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:18,025
And if you don't miss the 10:15,
you won't catch the 3:45
212
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,193
Which means the... oh.
213
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,561
I'm afraid sir horace won't
214
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,496
Be catching the 10:15,
lady partridge.
215
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,398
Has he been...?
216
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,666
Yes, after breakfast.
217
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,000
Lady partridge
218
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,970
I'm afraid you can cancel
his seat reservation.
219
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,173
Oh, and it was back to
the engine, fourth coach along
220
00:09:33,207 --> 00:09:34,441
So that he could see
221
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,810
The gradient signs
outside swanborough.
222
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:39,313
Not any more,
lady partridge.
223
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,547
The line's been closed.
224
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,449
Closed? not swanborough.
225
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,117
I'm afraid so.
226
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,385
All right,
nobody move.
227
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,521
I'm inspector davis
of scotland yard.
228
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,957
My word, you were here
quickly, inspector.
229
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,426
Yeah, I got the 8:55 pullman
express from king's cross
230
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,194
And missed that bit
around hornchurch.
231
00:09:54,228 --> 00:09:55,195
It's a very good train.
232
00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:56,196
It's a very
good train.
233
00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:57,197
Oh, it's an
excellent train.
234
00:09:57,231 --> 00:09:58,198
Hello, everyone.
235
00:09:58,232 --> 00:09:59,199
Tony!
236
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:00,234
Where is daddy?
237
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,435
Oh, golly.
238
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,836
Has he been...?
239
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,371
Yes, after breakfast.
240
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,174
Then, he... won't be needing
241
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,109
His reservation on the 10:15.
242
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,177
Exactly.
243
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,845
And I suppose as
his eldest son
244
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:12,913
It must go to me.
245
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,147
Just a minute, tony.
246
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,183
There's a small matter
of-- murder. oh!
247
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:19,520
Oh, but surely he simply shot
himself and then hid the gun.
248
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:22,289
How could anyone shoot himself
and then hide the gun
249
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,424
Without first canceling
his reservation?
250
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,828
Ha, ha. well, I must dash
or I'll be late for the 10:15.
251
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,897
I suggest
you murdered your father
252
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,298
For his seat reservation.
253
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,100
I may have had the
motive, inspector
254
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,535
But I could not
have done it
255
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:37,304
For I've only just arrived
from gillingham on the 8:13
256
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,840
And here is my restaurant
car ticket to prove it.
257
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,241
But the 8:13
from gillingham
258
00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:42,776
Doesn't have a
restaurant car.
259
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,344
It's a standing
buffet only.
260
00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:45,946
Oh, ah... did i
say the 8:13?
261
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,781
I meant the 7:58
stopping train.
262
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,718
But the 7:58 stopping train
arrived at swindon at 8:19
263
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,121
Owing to annual
point maintenance
264
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,856
At wisborough junction.
265
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,691
So how did you make
the connection
266
00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:00,160
With the 8:13,
which left six minutes earlier?
267
00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:02,663
Oh, ah, simple. I caught
the 7:16 football special
268
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,097
Arriving at swindon at 8:09.
269
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,832
But the 7:16
football special
270
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,502
Only stops at swindon
on alternate saturdays.
271
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,938
Yes, surely you mean
the holidaymaker special.
272
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,172
Oh, yes! how daft of me.
273
00:11:12,206 --> 00:11:14,208
Of course, I came
on the holidaymaker special
274
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,476
Calling at bedford,
colmworth, fen ditton, sutton
275
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:17,744
Wallington and gillingham.
276
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,914
That's sundays only.
277
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,583
Damn.
278
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:24,585
All right, I confess.
I did it.
279
00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:26,753
I killed him for
his reservation
280
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,722
But you won't take me alive.
281
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:32,492
I'm going to throw myself
under the 10:12 from reading.
282
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,228
Don't be a fool, tony!
don't do it!
283
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,530
The 10:12 has the new narrow
traction bogies.
284
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,998
You wouldn't stand a chance.
285
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,667
Exactly.
286
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:45,339
That was an excerpt
from the latest west end hit
287
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,375
It all happened on the 11:20
from hainault to redhill
288
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,478
Via horsham and reigate,
calling at carshalton beeches
289
00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:53,814
Malmesbury,
tooting bec and croydon west.
290
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,749
The author is mr. neville shunt.
291
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,918
Chuff, chuff, chuff,
woooooch, woooooch!
292
00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:00,320
Diddledum, diddledum, diddledum.
toot! toot!
293
00:12:00,354 --> 00:12:01,722
The train is now standing
294
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,524
At platform eight,
tch, tch, tch.
295
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,926
Diddledum, diddledum,
chuffff chuffffffff...
296
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,694
Eeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa vooooommmmm!
297
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,096
Some people
have made the mistake
298
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,931
Of seeing shunt's work
as a load of rubbish
299
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:11,965
About railway timetables
300
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,066
But clever people like me
301
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,401
Who talk loudly in restaurants
302
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,836
See this
as a deliberate ambiguity
303
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,871
A plea for understanding
in a mechanized world.
304
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,606
The points are frozen,
the beast is dead.
305
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:20,641
What is the difference?
306
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:21,909
What, indeed, is the point?
307
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:22,976
The point is frozen.
308
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,511
The beast is late
out of paddington.
309
00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:25,679
The point is taken.
310
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,614
If la fontaine's elk
would spurn tom jones
311
00:12:27,648 --> 00:12:30,284
The engine must be our head,
the dining car our esophagus
312
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,986
The guard's van our left lung,
the cattle truck our shins
313
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,288
The first-class compartment
314
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,223
The piece of skin
at the nape of the neck
315
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,725
And the level crossing
an electric elk called simon.
316
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:41,328
The clarity is devastating,
but where is the ambiguity?
317
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,529
It's over there in a box.
318
00:12:42,563 --> 00:12:44,431
Shunt is saying the 8:15
from gillingham
319
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,834
When in reality, he means
the 8:13 from gillingham.
320
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,136
The train is the same,
only the time is altered.
321
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,504
Ecce homo, ergo elk.
322
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:53,006
La fontaine knew his sister
and knew her bloody well.
323
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,942
The point is taken.
the beast is molting.
324
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,276
The fluff gets up your nose.
325
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:57,511
The illusion is complete.
326
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,279
It is reality,
the reality is illusion
327
00:12:59,313 --> 00:13:00,948
And the ambiguity
is the only truth
328
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:03,417
But is the truth, as hitchcock
observes, in the box?
329
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,886
No, there isn't room--
the ambiguity has put on weight.
330
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,487
The point is taken,
the elk is dead.
331
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:09,823
The beast stops at swindon,
chabrol stops at nothing
332
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,359
I'm having treatment,
and la fontaine can get knotted.
333
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,961
Gavin millar...
334
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,229
Rrrrrrrrrrr.
335
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,130
...was not talking
to neville shunt.
336
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,699
From the world of the theater
337
00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:20,801
We turn to the world
of dental hygiene.
338
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,269
No, no, no, no.
339
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,205
From the world of the theater
we turn to the silver screen.
340
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,940
We honor
one of the silver screen's
341
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,409
Outstanding writer-dentists,
uh, writer-directors
342
00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:31,545
Martin curry,
who is visiting london
343
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,715
To have a tooth out,
for the pre-molar, uh, premiere
344
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:37,384
Of his filling, film,
next toothday, tuesday
345
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,620
At the dental theatre,
film theatre.
346
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:43,290
Martin curry, talking
to matthew palate, padget.
347
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,691
Martin curry, welcome.
348
00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:46,960
One of the big teeth,
uh, big points
349
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,896
That the american critics made
350
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:51,632
About your latest film,
the twelve caesars
351
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,401
Was that it was
on so all-embracing a topic.
352
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:57,137
What made you undertake
so enormous a tusk?
353
00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:59,573
Task?
354
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:03,177
I've always been interested
in imperial rome
355
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,678
Right from
julius caesar
356
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,513
Right through
to vethpathian.
357
00:14:06,547 --> 00:14:07,581
Who?
358
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:08,649
Vethpathian.
359
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:09,716
Oh. vespasian.
360
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:10,784
Yes, yes.
361
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:11,985
Well, when I saw your film
362
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,654
It did seem to me
that you had taken
363
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,589
A rather, um,
subjective approach to it.
364
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,824
I'm sorry?
365
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:20,127
Well, I mean
all your main characters
366
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,397
Had these enormous,
well, not enormous, but, uh...
367
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,799
These, um, very big, um...
368
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,634
Well, let's have a look
at a clip
369
00:14:27,668 --> 00:14:29,469
In which julius incisor,
caesar
370
00:14:29,503 --> 00:14:32,806
Talks to his generals during
the battle against caractatus.
371
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,143
I don't see that at all.
372
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,278
Shall I order the cavalry
373
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:42,683
That they may hide themselves
in the wood, o caesar?
374
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,752
Thus, o caesar!
thus, o caesar!
375
00:14:45,786 --> 00:14:51,258
Today is about to be a triumph
for our native country.
376
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,961
Well, martin curry,
why do all your characters
377
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,429
Have these very big, um...
378
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,631
Very big, uh... teeth?
379
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:58,899
What do you mean?
380
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,234
Well, I mean, uh... even
381
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,302
In your biblical epic,
the son of man
382
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:05,539
John the baptist had the most
enormous... dental appendages
383
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,976
And of course, um... himself
had the most monumental ivories.
384
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:11,178
Well, I'm afraid i
don't see that at all.
385
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,847
Um. well,
while we're waiting...
386
00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:15,215
Look, could i
have a straw?
387
00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:16,383
Oh, a straw. yes, yes.
388
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,185
Well, while
we're doing that, uh...
389
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,553
Perhaps we could have a look
390
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,121
At an earlier film,
trafalgar.
391
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,056
Cover my coat, mr. bush.
392
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:27,127
The men must not know of this
till victory is ours.
393
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,196
The surgeon's
coming, sir.
394
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,998
No, tell the surgeon
395
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:34,201
To attend the men
that can be saved.
396
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,203
He can do little for me,
I fear.
397
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,871
Aye, aye, sir.
398
00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:40,207
Hardy...!
399
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,875
Hardy!
400
00:15:41,909 --> 00:15:43,076
Sir?
401
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,478
Hardy... kiss...
402
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:48,916
Er, put your hand
on my thigh.
403
00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:52,486
Huh. well,
martin curry, thank you.
404
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,022
Uh... well, we asked
the first-night audience
405
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,823
What they thought of that film.
406
00:15:56,857 --> 00:15:58,725
It wasn't true to life.
407
00:15:58,759 --> 00:15:59,993
Yes, it was.
408
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,128
No, it wasn't.
409
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,463
I thought
it was totally bizarre.
410
00:16:03,497 --> 00:16:05,832
Well, I've been in the city
for over 40 years
411
00:16:05,866 --> 00:16:08,769
And I think the importance
of looking after poor people
412
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,103
Cannot be understressed.
413
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:14,174
Well, I've been in the city
for 20 years
414
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:17,010
And I must admit, I'm lost.
415
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,112
Well, I've been in the city
all my life
416
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,648
and I'm as alert and active
as I've ever been.
417
00:16:21,682 --> 00:16:24,451
Well, I've been in the city
since I was two
418
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:28,121
And certainly wouldn't say
that I was stuck in a rut...
419
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:30,224
Stuck in a rut, stuck in a rut.
420
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:32,226
Stuck in a rut, stuck in a rut.
421
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,627
Oh, dear
422
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,429
Mr. bulstrode's
stuck again.
423
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:36,897
Stuck in a rut.
424
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,365
I certainly wouldn't say
425
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:39,967
That I was stuck in a rut.
426
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,769
Well, I have been in the city
for 30 years
427
00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:46,940
And I never once regretted being
a nasty, greedy, cold-hearted
428
00:16:46,974 --> 00:16:49,843
Avaricious,
money-grubber... conservative.
429
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:51,879
Well, I've been in the city
about 27 years
430
00:16:51,912 --> 00:16:54,414
And I'd like to see
the reintroduction of flogging.
431
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,083
Every thursday,
round at my place.
432
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:58,752
Well, I've been in the sea
for 33 years
433
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,754
And I've never regretted it.
434
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:01,989
Neither have i.
435
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,257
Neither have i.
436
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:06,426
Yes, quite so.
437
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,998
I think it must be
a naturalist outing.
438
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,267
No, I think
it must be
439
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:17,771
One of them
crackpot religions.
440
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,074
This is an example
of the sort of abuse
441
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:23,377
We get all the time
from ignorant people.
442
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,546
I inherited this religion
from my father
443
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:28,248
An ex-used car salesman
and part-time window box
444
00:17:28,282 --> 00:17:31,251
And I am very proud to be
in charge of the first religion
445
00:17:31,285 --> 00:17:33,020
With free gifts.
446
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,557
You get this luxury tea trolley
with every new enrollment.
447
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,358
In addition to this, you can win
448
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,594
A three-piece lounge suite
449
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,763
This luxury caravan
450
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:46,166
A weekend for two
with peter bonetti
451
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,001
And tonight's star prize:
452
00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:52,606
The entire norwich city council.
453
00:17:54,942 --> 00:17:57,177
And remember,
with only eight scoring draws
454
00:17:57,211 --> 00:18:00,814
You can win a bishopric
in a see of your own choice.
455
00:18:00,848 --> 00:18:07,421
You see, we have a much more
modern approach to religion.
456
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:22,769
Blessed is arthur crackpot and
all its subsidiaries, limited.
457
00:18:22,803 --> 00:18:25,606
You see, in our church,
we have a lot more fun.
458
00:18:25,639 --> 00:18:26,974
Oh, mrs. collins
459
00:18:27,007 --> 00:18:29,443
You did say you were
nervous, didn't you?
460
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,112
You have eyes
on the coffee machine?
461
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,714
I don't mind,
I don't mind.
462
00:18:33,747 --> 00:18:35,816
It's just nice
to be here, reverend.
463
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:37,384
Archdeacon.
464
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,686
Well, you have eyes
for the coffee machine
465
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,722
So let's see
what you've won.
466
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:45,259
You chose hymn 437.
467
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,362
Oh, mrs. collins.
468
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:51,164
You had eyes
on the coffee machine.
469
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:53,834
Well, you have won
tonight's star prize:
470
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:58,438
The entire
norwich city council!
471
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,510
I've got one already.
472
00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:06,079
A lot of religions--
no names, no pack drill--
473
00:19:06,113 --> 00:19:08,148
Do go for the poorer type
of person.
474
00:19:08,182 --> 00:19:11,351
Face it : there's more of them--
poor people, thieves, villains
475
00:19:11,385 --> 00:19:13,253
Poor people
without no money at all.
476
00:19:13,287 --> 00:19:15,222
Well, we don't have
none of that tat.
477
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:18,125
Rich people and crumpet over 16
can enter free
478
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,993
Upper middle class:
quite welcome
479
00:19:20,027 --> 00:19:22,596
Lower middle class:
not under five grand a year
480
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,164
Lower class:
I can't touch it.
481
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:25,899
There's no return on it,
you see.
482
00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:28,802
Do you have any difficulty
converting people?
483
00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:31,839
Uh, no. well, we have ways
of making them join.
484
00:19:31,872 --> 00:19:33,941
Norman, there,
does a lot of converting
485
00:19:33,974 --> 00:19:36,076
A lot of protection,
that sort of thing.
486
00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:38,212
And there's his mate,
bruce beer.
487
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:41,715
Brucy has personally converted
92 people
488
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:43,717
25 inside the distance.
489
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,920
Then again, we're not afraid
to use more modern methods.
490
00:19:46,954 --> 00:19:49,423
Sarah, today's diocesan lovely
491
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:52,159
Is enough to make any chap
go down on his knees.
492
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:55,329
This 23-year-old bishop hails,
appropriately enough
493
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,997
From bishop's stortford
494
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,433
And lists her hobbies
as swimming, riding
495
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:00,834
And film producers.
496
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:01,935
What a gas!
497
00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:03,237
Bet she's no novice
498
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:06,039
When it comes to converting
all in her see.
499
00:20:06,073 --> 00:20:08,208
Basically...
500
00:20:08,242 --> 00:20:11,912
I believe... in peace
501
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:18,952
And bashing two bricks together.
502
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:27,194
I'm starting a war for peace.
503
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,766
Cor blimey!
504
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:37,271
I'm raising polecats for peace.
505
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,206
Peace? I like a peace.
506
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,308
Know what I mean?
know what I mean?
507
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,010
Say no more. nudge, nudge.
508
00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:44,778
Our religion is the first church
509
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:47,181
To cater
for the naughty type of person.
510
00:20:47,214 --> 00:20:49,750
If you'd like a bit
of love-your-neighbor--
511
00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:51,552
And who doesn't now and again--
512
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:55,155
Then see vera and ciceley
during the hymns.
513
00:20:55,189 --> 00:20:58,892
In our church, we try to help
people to help themselves
514
00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:01,261
To cars, washing machines,
lead piping--
515
00:21:01,295 --> 00:21:02,496
No questions asked.
516
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:04,898
We're the only church,
apart from the baptists
517
00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:06,333
To do re-spray jobs.
518
00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:08,168
We in the church
of the divine loony
519
00:21:08,202 --> 00:21:12,773
Believe in the power of prayer
to turn the head purple.
520
00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:15,475
I would like to come in here
for a moment, if I may
521
00:21:15,509 --> 00:21:17,144
And disassociate our church
522
00:21:17,177 --> 00:21:19,680
From these frivolous
and offensive religions.
523
00:21:19,713 --> 00:21:24,218
We are primarily concerned
with what is best...
524
00:21:24,251 --> 00:21:25,886
Hello?
525
00:21:25,919 --> 00:21:30,624
Oh, well,
how about allied breweries?
526
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:33,360
All right,
but keep the rio tinto.
527
00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:35,229
...for the human soul.
528
00:21:35,262 --> 00:21:41,568
In our church, we believe,
first and foremost, in you.
529
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:50,844
We want you to think of us
as your friend.
530
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,990
In this picture,
there are 40 people.
531
00:22:03,023 --> 00:22:04,525
None of them can be seen.
532
00:22:04,558 --> 00:22:10,797
In this film, we hope
to show you how not to be seen.
533
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:17,204
This is mr. e.r. bradshaw
of napier court
534
00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:19,373
Black lion road, se5.
535
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,275
He cannot be seen.
536
00:22:21,308 --> 00:22:23,310
Now, I'm going to ask him
to stand up.
537
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:28,549
Mr. bradshaw,
will you stand up, please?
538
00:22:32,386 --> 00:22:36,890
This demonstrates the value
of not being seen.
539
00:22:36,924 --> 00:22:39,526
In this picture, we cannot see
540
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,931
Mrs. b.j. smegma
of 13, the crescent, belmont.
541
00:22:43,964 --> 00:22:49,069
Mrs. smegma,
will you stand up, please?
542
00:22:51,338 --> 00:22:54,608
This is mr. nesbitt
of harlow, new town.
543
00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:59,413
Mr. nesbitt, would you stand up,
please?
544
00:22:59,446 --> 00:23:02,549
Mr. nesbitt has learnt the first
lesson of not being seen--
545
00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:04,318
Not to stand up.
546
00:23:04,351 --> 00:23:10,090
However, he has chosen
a very obvious piece of cover.
547
00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:13,994
Mr. e.v. lambert of homeleigh,
the burrows, oswestry
548
00:23:14,027 --> 00:23:15,963
Has presented us with a poser.
549
00:23:15,996 --> 00:23:18,198
We do not know
which bush he is behind
550
00:23:18,232 --> 00:23:22,236
But we can soon find out.
551
00:23:29,009 --> 00:23:33,180
Yes, it was the middle one.
552
00:23:34,681 --> 00:23:37,184
Mr. ken andrews
of leighton road, slough
553
00:23:37,217 --> 00:23:39,386
Has concealed himself
extremely well.
554
00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:41,321
He could be almost anywhere.
555
00:23:41,355 --> 00:23:44,525
He could be behind the wall,
inside the water barrel
556
00:23:44,558 --> 00:23:47,794
Beneath a pile of leaves,
up in the tree
557
00:23:47,828 --> 00:23:51,031
Squatting down behind the car,
concealed in a hollow
558
00:23:51,064 --> 00:23:54,801
Or crouched behind
any one of a hundred bushes.
559
00:23:54,835 --> 00:24:01,008
However, we happen to know
he's in the water barrel.
560
00:24:03,977 --> 00:24:09,016
Mr. and mrs. watson of ivy
cottage, worplesdon road, hull
561
00:24:09,049 --> 00:24:11,752
Chose a very cunning way
of not being seen.
562
00:24:11,785 --> 00:24:13,453
When we called at their house
563
00:24:13,487 --> 00:24:16,089
We found they had gone away
on two weeks' holiday.
564
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:18,192
They had not left
any forwarding address
565
00:24:18,225 --> 00:24:20,327
And they had bolted
and barred the house
566
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,795
To prevent us getting in.
567
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:27,334
However, a neighbor told us
where they were.
568
00:24:29,937 --> 00:24:35,242
And here is the neighbor
who told us where they were.
569
00:24:35,275 --> 00:24:38,045
Nobody likes a clever dick.
570
00:24:38,078 --> 00:24:41,348
And this is where he lived.
571
00:24:41,381 --> 00:24:43,483
And this is where
lord langdon lived
572
00:24:43,517 --> 00:24:45,619
Who refused to speak to us...
573
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:47,254
And so did the gentleman
574
00:24:47,287 --> 00:24:49,623
Who lived here...
575
00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:51,558
And here...
576
00:24:51,592 --> 00:24:55,128
And, of course, here
577
00:24:55,162 --> 00:24:58,298
And manchester
578
00:24:58,365 --> 00:25:00,734
And the west midlands
579
00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:03,136
Spain...
580
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:05,806
China...
581
00:25:11,144 --> 00:25:13,780
Ah. well, I'm afraid we have
to stop the film there
582
00:25:13,814 --> 00:25:15,649
As some of the scenes
which followed
583
00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:17,117
Were of a violent nature
584
00:25:17,150 --> 00:25:19,820
Which might prove distressing
to some of our viewers
585
00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:23,090
Though not to me,
I can tell you.
586
00:25:23,123 --> 00:25:24,825
In nova scotia today
587
00:25:24,858 --> 00:25:27,127
Mr. roy bent of north walsham
in norfolk
588
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,464
Became the first man to cross
the atlantic on a tricycle.
589
00:25:30,497 --> 00:25:33,066
His tricycle, specially adapted
for the crossing
590
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,536
Was 90-foot long
with a protective steel hull
591
00:25:35,569 --> 00:25:38,071
Three funnels,
17 first-class cabins
592
00:25:38,105 --> 00:25:40,474
And a radar scanner.
593
00:25:40,507 --> 00:25:42,843
Mr. bent is
in our durham studios
594
00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:44,711
Which is rather unfortunate
595
00:25:44,745 --> 00:25:49,383
As we're all down here
in london.
596
00:25:49,683 --> 00:25:51,318
And in london...
597
00:25:51,351 --> 00:25:53,754
In london, I have with me
mr. ludovic grayson
598
00:25:53,787 --> 00:25:59,326
The man who scored all six goals
in arsenal's 1-nil victory
599
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,728
Over the turkish champions
fc botty.
600
00:26:01,762 --> 00:26:05,132
Ludovic, first of all,
congratulations on the victory.
601
00:26:05,165 --> 00:26:06,200
Thank you, david.
602
00:26:06,233 --> 00:26:08,235
It should send you back to botty
603
00:26:08,268 --> 00:26:09,570
With a big lead.
604
00:26:09,603 --> 00:26:11,905
Oh, yes. well,
we're fairly confident, david.
605
00:26:11,939 --> 00:26:13,540
Well, at the moment, ludovic
606
00:26:13,574 --> 00:26:16,710
You're crouching down
inside a filing cabinet.
607
00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:18,278
Yes, that's right, david.
608
00:26:18,312 --> 00:26:20,013
I'm trying not to be seen.
609
00:26:20,047 --> 00:26:21,949
I see.
is this through fear?
610
00:26:21,982 --> 00:26:23,917
Oh, no, no.
it's common sense, really.
611
00:26:23,951 --> 00:26:26,119
If they can't see you,
they can't get you.
612
00:26:26,153 --> 00:26:28,856
Ha, ha, ha, but, of course,
they can still hear you.
613
00:26:28,889 --> 00:26:31,225
Huh?
614
00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:34,761
Ludovic grayson,
thank you very much
615
00:26:34,795 --> 00:26:36,563
For coming
on the program tonight.
616
00:26:36,597 --> 00:26:38,165
And we end the show with music
617
00:26:38,198 --> 00:26:40,334
And here with their
very latest recording:
618
00:26:40,367 --> 00:26:42,803
"yummy, yummy, yummy,
I've got love in my tummy"
619
00:26:42,836 --> 00:26:47,474
Jackie charlton
and the tonettes.
620
00:26:50,878 --> 00:26:54,515
Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I got love in my tummy
621
00:26:54,548 --> 00:26:57,751
And I feel like a-lovin' you
622
00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,987
Love,
you're such a sweet thing
623
00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:01,955
Good-enough-to-eat thing
624
00:27:01,989 --> 00:27:05,826
And that's just what
I'm gonna do
625
00:27:05,859 --> 00:27:07,728
Ooh, love, to hold ya
626
00:27:07,761 --> 00:27:09,663
Ooh, love, to kiss ya
627
00:27:09,696 --> 00:27:13,767
Ooh, love, I love it so...
628
00:27:15,469 --> 00:27:17,037
Ooh, love, you're sweeter
629
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:18,872
Sweeter than sugar
630
00:27:18,906 --> 00:27:23,477
Ooh, love,
I won't let you go...
631
00:27:32,452 --> 00:27:35,756
Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I got love in my tummy
632
00:27:35,789 --> 00:27:39,626
And as silly
as that may seem
633
00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:43,163
The lovin' that you're givin'
is what keeps me livin'
634
00:27:43,197 --> 00:27:47,100
And your love is like
peaches and cream
635
00:27:47,134 --> 00:27:49,036
Kinda like sugar
636
00:27:49,069 --> 00:27:50,938
Kinda like spices
637
00:27:50,971 --> 00:27:55,542
Kinda like
I love what you do...
638
00:27:56,476 --> 00:27:58,345
Kinda sounds funny
639
00:27:58,378 --> 00:28:00,447
But your love, honey
640
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,084
Honey, I love you...
641
00:28:06,486 --> 00:28:10,090
Baa, baa-da-da-da...
642
00:28:14,161 --> 00:28:15,596
Yummy, yummy, yummy...
643
00:28:15,629 --> 00:28:18,632
For those of you
who may have just missed
644
00:28:18,665 --> 00:28:20,767
Monty python's flying circus
645
00:28:20,801 --> 00:28:24,171
Here it is again.
646
00:28:42,689 --> 00:28:46,093
The lovin' that you're givin'
is what keeps me livin'
647
00:28:46,126 --> 00:28:49,997
And love is like
peaches and cream
648
00:28:50,030 --> 00:28:51,665
Kinda like sugar...
649
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,129
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650
00:28:55,179 --> 00:28:59,729
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