All language subtitles for Dirt s02e02 Dirty Slutty Whores.eng

Previously on Dirt...

Hi, Lucy.

You ruined my life.

You're alright, Lucy.
Yeah, you're alright.

Hello, everyone. Vacation's over.

Spiller!

- You're...
- ... alive.

How's the injection going?

No, I'm sick.

You're sick, I'm sick,
we're all sick.

I'm gonna give you
the shot now, okay?

I'm starting to feel... normal.

Holt McLaren.

Don Konkey.

Did you tell her
I tried to visit her?

Yeah.

No.

- Your name is Kenny?
- Yes. Is that a problem?

Well, it was for the last guy.

What happened to the last guy?

He got shot in the head.

This is Farber Kaufman.

He's a staff reporter

who'll be gunning for
all of your jobs.

Uh, Lucy, should
I just be following you?

That one's yours.

- Excuse me, that is my desk.
- I know.

Is that Sharlee Cates?

This is the thanks that I get?

Get your camera out.

- Okay.
- Hurry.

Sharlee Cates would be
a great get now.

Get it, Don.

Freakin'move!

Move!

Back off! Back off!

Come on! Give me a sad face.

Hey, Holt! Hey, come on!

Ain't it in bad taste
to be out clubbing

so soon after Julia's death?

Bad taste? Yeah.

You know what I think is bad taste

is you guys following me
around everywhere I go,

asking me this
and that about Julia.

- Did you even know her?
- No.

No, I didn't think so.

Didn't have the pleasure.

You know what's even more funny

about that whole situation is,

is now, what?
You're just gonna make

all this money off of her?

What, to sell your magazines
and your clip shows?

She's dead, bro.

Sell your magazines,
your clip shows.

Screw him.

The bitch stabbed Lucy,
now he's defending her?

People, people, people,

I didn't get my liver nicked
to have Holt McLaren

on my cover saying
that we're the bad guys.

Willa, are you with us?

Sorry.

Um, you've got to hear
what somebody sent in.

It's anonymous,
but it's really good.

- Do you mind if I...
- Yes, anything's better than this.

Uncle Jimmy?

God, is that turd still on the air?

That turd just syndicated
for two mil an episode.

It's the last great family sitcom.

I love his standup.

Yeah, this is a slightly
different performance from him.

Krista,

it's your father calling again.
Thursday night.

You know what, you told me
you were coming down here,

so I set aside seats for you
and your goddamn friends,

and now I'm about to do a show,

and you're not here once again,

so I look like an ass
with my dick in my hands

because my frickin'daughter
didn't show up, okay?

Well, listen,
you wanna know something?

You're a stupid little
narcissist, do ya hear me?

I don't care if you're 14 or 15
or however the hell old you are.

You say you don't have my love,

you say you don't have my respect.

Goddamn it, you don't deserve
my respect, do you hear me?

You don't deserve it
because you're selfish,

and you're hollow,
and I don't give a shit

about you and your slutty
cheerleader friends!

Press "1" to play
the current message again.

And to think I used to hate people
who left long messages.

Is it exclusive?

Well, I'm thinking
that the person who sent it in

is probably spreading it around.

He's a major sitcom star.

We gotta find out
who sent it and why,

if it's edited, if it's real,
what's going on.

Yeah, I was gonna
start with his ex-wife.

You think?

What's happening?

Turn on the news.

Hold on, we do now
have an official statement

from the CHP press op confirming

that celebutante Milan Carlton
was just stopped by the police

trying to drive onto the 405 freeway
using the off-ramp.

It could be a problem for Milan
if she's been drinking...

If? The girl drinks so much,
she probably pees rubbing alcohol.

Look, you can't even see the sign.

Are you high?
My parents paid for that on-ramp.

We can't leave my car.

Ow! That's my boob.

Where are the Rodney King cops
when you need 'em?

Transcript: swsub.com

Synchro:
_/Yellow Sub\_

Synchro:
::ITASA::

Season 2 Episode 2
Dirty Slutty Whores

All right, let's make room for Milan

and her yapping purse-mutt.

The Cupcake House? Whose is this?

That's... That's mine.

The guy builds a house out of cupcakes.

That's the story?

He did it to win the heart
of the woman he loved.

She's crazy about cupcakes. It's...

... sweet.

Well, sweet.
It's insane, but sweet.

All right, we'll use it next week.

But get a better shot of him

eating her icing
off the wall or something.

Well, they broke up.

Not in my magazine. Get the shot.

All right, Milan is our cover,

but, of course, she's going to be
everyone's cover,

so what I wanna know is how she's
gonna get out of going to jail.

Yeah, isn't she going to jail
right now on live TV?

... night court judge
has rescinded her parole,

mandating her to serve out
the remainder of her sentence

here at the county jail.

Milan Carlton is
a spoiled little billionaire

who's gotten away with
everything her whole life.

Why waste time?

Let's just figure out
how her daddy's

gonna use his money
to get his little girl off.

- Did I just say that?
- Yeah.

Oddly aroused.

All right, find out.

That's how we afford
the cappuccino runs.

They pay for cappuccino runs?

I'm thinking that that
was a figure of speech,

but you can go ask her.

Oh, hey, Lucy.

Heard about Milan?

Yeah, I'm on my way now.

You and the entire
press corps, right?

Everybody knows.

You putting cream on your wound?

As we speak.

You know, Cabernet does not count.

Do you have a hidden camera in here?

No, I just know your voice.

Plus I heard you sip.

Well, it's Pinot, not Cabernet,

and, yes, I will put my cream on

if you get a shot
of Milan in lock-up.

But hurry. She'll be out
before her 10:00 Pilates class.

Okay.

Thanks.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

You really don't like her,
do you? Milan.

Are you kidding?

I love her.

Get the shot.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Dude.

You got a smoke?

Dude?

You got a cigarette?

You're real.

Look, if you don't smoke,
just say so. Christ!

Man, this job sucks.

I knew you were real!

Hey, man.

All right?

I'm giving you the finger here!

Weird.

Lucy?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Every time the cleaning crew comes,

they move this to plug in the vacuum,
and they don't put it back.

How's America's
favorite sitcom dad?

His voicemail attacking his daughter
is now on the web.

Um, it is YouTube's number one hit.

If you're gonna leave
everything a mess,

it's not really cleaning, is it?

No.

What about the ex-wife?

Well, the divorce is final,

but they're still having
major custody issues.

She and her lawyers
have been court ordered

to keep everything
out of the media,

so, basically,
if she leaked the tape...

Then she'd be guilty of using us.

Hate when people do that.
Get proof.

Yeah, that's not gonna be easy.

Did I say easy?

No, easy would be moving the furniture
back after you've vacuumed.

- You want that job?
- No.

I'll find out who had access to the
voicemail,

the mother, the lawyer, and see
if they shared it with anyone.

- Good start.
- Yeah. Okay.

Oh, man.

Hurts. Hurts. Hurts. Hurts.

Hey, Don. What's going on?

I got a guy here.

Don't you always?

Yeah, well, he's in booking.

He always gets me in
no matter what.

But this time he says
it's impossible.

But, Don, nothing's impossible.

They got her in a private cell

away from the rest
of the prison population,

so, you know, I can't
sneak in as a guard.

They're having her meals
prepared privately,

so catering's out.

And she's in a new uniform,
so you can forget about laundry.

Okay, she's in isolation.

Yeah, for her safety,

for the safety of the rest
of the prison population.

That's the quote.

Yeah, and bullshit.

Okay, I'm thinking.

Oh, I put cream on my wound
last night and this morning.

Oh, yeah, that's good.

Okay, I got it.

Remember that skank from Bel Air,

the one with the one-hit song

who killed her husband
with a lawnmower?

You got that great shot
when you were on the rooftop

of her coming out of isolation
to general population.

Get in place.

Okay.

Lucy, are they gonna move her?

Someone get me the spokesperson
for the jail on the line.

Oh, they're moving her.

They are definitely moving her.

Spokesman for the jail
for you, line two.

- Sam Greer.
- Thank you.

Sam Greer.

Hi, it's Lucy Spiller over at Dirt.

Yes, my people came to me
with a story,

and I wanted to give you the courtesy
of a call before running it.

Yeah, it's about
the special treatment

that Milan Carlton's
getting in your jail.

The personal chef,
the fresh clothes, special cell.

I hear she has an acupuncturist
coming this afternoon.

Okay, well, that may be true,
but the rest checks out.

I don't hear you
denying the special cell.

Okay, great.

Yeah, get back to me
within the hour,

and I will hold the story.

Thank you.

Any progress?

Uh, yeah, Milan's
parents and grandparents

have been major contributors
to every major political campaign,

local, national,
republican, democrat.

Equal opportunity payola.

Locally they supported
the judges, the DA, the mayor.

That'll get her out.

Yeah. Well, she's still in.

Yeah, but you have to
keep up appearances.

She did plead guilty once.
Violated her parole.

It's hard to get out of that,
even with political contacts.

I guarantee you,
Milan will be sleeping

in her own pink,
frilly bed tonight.

What, do you not
trust my instincts?

No, yeah, I do.

No, you don't.

No, trust me, I trust you.

All right, how about this?

I give you 100-1 odds that
Milan Carlton is home by midnight.

- I'm sorry?
- You heard me.

Milan Carlton will not
spend this night in jail.

Don.

- 100-1?
- Hold on one second.

You're saying that
if I put up 100 bucks...

If she gets out by midnight,
I take your 100.

If she spends one second past midnight,
I owe you 10 grand.

10 grand.

- How about it?
- Yeah. Okay.

You need to learn a lesson.

Are you in place?

Almost.

Are you alone?

Yeah.

Good. I made the call.
It should happen soon.

Okay.

Milan Carlton is being moved

out of an isolation cell
in the tower,

in with the jail's
general population.

This is in no way reaction
to public pressure.

It's part of normal prisoner intake
and processing procedure.

Miss Carlton is receiving
no special treatment here.

She's an ordinary inmate.

That's the way
she's gonna be treated.

No questions.

Hi.

Love you.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Drrthas just obtained

exclusive photos of Milan Carlton

being transfered to
general jail population.

Farber, the bet's still on.

She's gonna be out by midnight.

And when she is,

I want to know why.

Dad, why are you eating
spaghetti on the floor?

I'm Petey the dog,
and this is my doggie bowl.

It's another Jimmy Darby clip.

It hit an hour ago.
It's already in YouTube's top 5.

Makes me feel a lot better
about my father.

I'm not drunk!

I'm totally friggin'sober!

You're drunk, Dad. I'm sober!

This is nothing.
At least he's not hitting anybody.

Your father hit you?

How pissed is Lucy gonna be
that I'm behind on this?

Well, it hit an hour ago.
We don't go to press for days.

How are you behind?

I just got a call from Darby's ex

saying that she had absolutely
nothing to do with leaking either tape,

and then I got a call
from her lawyer

giving some not too subtle threats
if we imply that she did.

Well, the ex-wife's
a likely suspect.

She's the one
with something to gain.

She can't sue for speculation.

You don't know Lucy Spiller
very well, do you?

Really?

You'll learn.

Hey, where you going?

Back to school.

Thanks so much.

It's always so hard
to find your way around

a new school
the first week, you know?

Sure.

I hate moving, but, um,

my dad just got, like, indicted

at his last job in Florida, so...

Here we are.

At least the press isn't camped
outside our lawn anymore.

- Sucks.
- Totally.

This girl in gym told me
that you were Jimmy Darby's kid,

so you, like, know, right?

She knows enough
to spot the difference

between a new junior
and an old reporter.

- What?
- I'm sorry?

Don't say a word, Christa.

She's a reporter.

I just transferred here.

From what, early retirement?

You're, like, 30.

- I'm 24.
- Whatever.

I told you they'd be all over.

Let's have her arrested.

All right, look,
I'm really sorry that I lied, but...

everybody is doing this story,
and nobody is getting Christa's side.

And you're here
to do her that favor.

No, I'm just here to get a story.

Look, all I'm saying is that...

You're caught in the middle.

I mean, your mother's
the one that leaked the tape.

- It's not your fault.
- My mother didn't leak anything.

No, Christa, don't.
No, I'm sick of it. I really am.

We fired the maid, the handy man,
the dog walker.

And, you know, I really,
really liked our dog walker.

You people are the ones
out there buying this stuff,

tempting people to steal and sell.

I didn't ask for this, okay?

- I'm sorry.
- No.

You're not.

It's a good story.

You think it's easy growing up
with screwed up parents,

being the big
online joke at school?

Please, just let me get to my class

and leave me
and my messed up family alone.

Got your quote?

Look, I didn't mean to...

I didn't know about the phone message,
but the video?

Christa just thought

she could scare her dad
straight or whatever.

She borrowed my brother's camera,

and totally deleted everything
before she gave it back.

She never intended it to get out.

It was between her...

and her father.

Period.

Farber, you owe me 100 bucks.

- She's getting out?
- Undisclosed medical condition.

More like jailophobia.

Pay up.

You're seriously
gonna take my 100 bucks?

Only if you don't
hand it over willingly.

Oh, come on, like you wouldn't
take my 10 grand?

You know, I wasn't gonna
take your ten grand.

You need to learn a lesson.

Trust my instincts.

Best money you ever spent.

Thank you.

Look at her, all prim and proper.

She went in looking like Betty Blowjob,
and out like Laura Bush.

You think her mother styled her?

No, she's just as retarded as she is.

No, that's the work of a pro.

Farber, find out who
all went to see her in jail.

If I find out who styled her,
can I win back my hundred?

No.

Wow. Nice knee socks.

Have anything?

Yeah, I got a great quote
from the daughter.

Maybe something from the friend.

Okay, I want to know
who released the tape and why.

Yeah, I might have a lead.

Have it by recess.

Do I look 30?

Not in a Catholic school girl uniform,
you don't.

Wait, do you want to?

What?

I thought we weren't talking.

Uh, we're not.

I'm just calling
to congratulate you.

What, is this an interview?

Milan Carlton's pretty much
taking over the whole issue.

Lucky you, I don't need a quote.

But, unfortunately,
it also means that

your PR play outside the club
won't make it into print,

which is really too bad
because that was well played.

I didn't play anything.

Come on, that wasn't a PR move,

I just said what I felt, you know?

Okay.

I wouldn't expect you
to believe me, Lucy.

Good.

But you know,
one thing I've learned...

the more energy you put in

to being angry with others,

the less you have
to face yourself, so...

Are you going to therapy now?

Maybe.

Well, let's just hope
you can trust him.

Well, I gotta catch a flight.

Okay.

Have a great trip.

You, too.

I mean...

thank you.

Bye.

Hi.

How long have you been
standing there?

I brought you the pictures
of Milan in jail.

Also her getting out.

- It's been quite a day.
- Yeah.

How's Holt?

On the phone just now.

How do you know
I was talking to Holt?

Body language.

My body languages says
I'm talking to Holt right now.

Before, on the phone.

Now it just says you don't know
where to put your elbows.

Well, they're attached
to my forearms.

Let's not read too much into it.

Okay, but if you don't want
people to know about you two...

Don't do that when
you're talking to him.

Don't do what?

Don, I wasn't doing anything.

Okay, I was not doing that.

Okay, now I don't know
what to do with my forearms.

- Sorry.
- Okay.

Is this all you have
of her coming out of jail?

Yeah.

Looks like Mother Theresa.

It's the outfit.

Light blue and white.

Like Mother Theresa.

All right, get 'em to art.

Okay.

Even the network news
is recycling the Milan story.

So much for covering
the bombings in Iraq.

- Hey, Farber.
- Yeah?

She going back to jail or not?

- Wanna lay odds?
- Uh, I don't know.

You're smart. You're learning.
Visitors?

Her mother and her lawyers.

No red flags, but I'm
still working on it.

All right, find something good.

They may just have to have her back.

Hey, Lucy, we got Milan Carlton
on line three.

- Her publicist?
- Her.

She said she wants
to speak to you directly.

Yeah.

Thank you for taking my call.

Always happy to talk to
one of our biggest sellers.

All that circulation,
and I don't make anything out of it.

Something tells me you do okay.

Not this week.

There's a few things
I'd like to clear up,

and I was thinking about doing
an interview with your magazine.

Of course.

I'd like to meet you in person.

Can we arrange that?

I wish I could come to you,

but I'm kind of under
a bit of house arrest here.

I'll come to you.

Fabo!

I'll have my guy call your guy, okay?

Ciao.

Fabo.

Lucy Spiller. Thank
you so much for coming.

Can Mariella get you something
to drink? Fuzzy water?

Oh, I'm good.

Bring her some fuzzy
water. Lemon or lime?

Bring her both.

- You remember my boyfriend Ian.
- Hi.

Yeah, right, I know your work.

Sit. I'm sorry that we
have to meet in here.

Can't use my outdoor pool
anymore because of the paps.

Oh, how awful.

I know. I know.

Poor little rich girl.

But you know, everything
I have, I've earned.

Yeah, well, somehow I doubt that

catalogue shoots and a
reality show paid for all this.

- Well, I also have a recording deal.
- Oh, right.

Why are we talking about this?
That's not why you're here.

Why am I here?

Everyone knows that Dirt hates me.

The articles about my weight,

my feud with Meggie, that
you think I'm stupid, the DUI.

We never said anything
about your weight.

The point is, you hate me. It's fine.

That's why I want you
to have the interview.

Because everybody will believe it.

It won't feel like spin.

So I'm here to give you credibility.

Well, that, and score the hottest
celebrity interview of the decade.

- The big scoop.
- Yeah?

My medical condition.

I'm pregnant.

- We're having a baby.
- Congratulations.

But why does that mean
you can't be in jail?

Is the county going to release
all pregnant women from jail?

Because I have a condition.

- It's called hyper... em...
- Hyperemesis.

It's real. They had to let her out.

For the welfare of our unborn child.

Who has already totally
changed both our lives.

We don't have to bother
with all the details here.

I've made your job very easy.

Here's the entire interview.

Questions, answers,
and I had it typed up.

It's free, it's exclusive, and
your job is completely done.

Obviously a huge story
for you. You're welcome.

Hyperemesis. Isn't that
basically morning sickness?

Hey, women die from it every year.

The baby was at risk. We had to

- protect the welfare... -
Welfare of our unborn child.

We have a doctor's note.

Oh, a celebrity with
a doctor's note. Yeah.

I'm offering you a major interview here.

You're offering me a hand job.

This isn't an interview,
it's a press release.

Do you want to do an
interview? Let's talk.

'Cause I'm not gonna
publish some PR person's Q&A.

You know, when I was in high school,

I used to drive by the big
gates of your parent's house.

It was so huge.

I used to think whoever lives inside,
they must have anything they want.

They can be anything they want.

What did you choose to be?

A celebutante?

I worked my ass off to become a star.

You're not a singer,

you're not an actress, you've
never worked a day in your life.

You're a little spoiled
brat who goes clubbing.

That's all you've ever achieved.

Oh, that and going up an off-ramp
after having one too many chocolatinis.

You think I'm just some party girl.

I am a brand. I created a brand.

You think I'm nothing? Okay.

Think about how hard it is to
turn nothing into a major brand,

a clothing line, fragrances, makeup.

You can call me a slut or a whore
or anything else, but never say

I don't work hard for what I have.

Now there's a quote.

I'll just say that you admitted
you hate me and that you're biased.

You don't want my Q&A? Fine.

I'll go toIcon.

Do as you want. I already have my story.

You bought a used
video camera for $2,000?

- Well, it's digital.
- Ah.

No, this isn't just any video camera.

This is Christa Darby's best
friend's brother's video camera.

The one she shot her
father's drunk tape on.

The kid was 12. You should've seen
his face when I gave him the cash.

Well, I thought you said she deleted
everything before she gave it back.

Oh, dear, sweet geek boy.

You have so much to learn.

Video camera hard drives are
just like computer hard drives.

You can erase them, but the
data is still locked in the code.

And you know how to get that?

Well, no, but Varsha in IT did.

It seems that little
Christa did some editing.

Check out the original footage.

- Wait, do Petey. Pretend to be Petey.
- Okay, okay.

I'm Petey the dog, and
this is my dog bowl.

Do the drunk guy, Dad.
Do the drunk guy.

Okay, drunk.

I'm not drunk!

I'm totally friggin'sober!

- He wasn't drunk.
- I'm sober!

Well, not as much as he seemed, anyway.

See, the key to playing

a drunk is you gotta try
really, really hard to act sober.

It was the daughter?

- Why?
- Well, do you rember that

quote she gave me when I was
interviewing her at school?

Um, "Do you think it's easy growing
up with parents this screwed up?"

She seemed so upset, but

the quote was perfect. She
knew that I would bite at it.

Check this out, this
is the reality show that

Christa Darby pitched six months ago.

It's all about her life as
a sitcom star's daughter,

but nobody was interested.

One exec said that
she didn't have a hook.

So now that she's famous,
she's trying to resell the show?

Oh, no, even better.

This time it's Parent 911.

It's genius. She's gonna help
kids with problem parents.

Yup, live on the air.

Secret deal is already in the works.
They're gonna announce it any day now.

Making a brand out of nothing.

Lucy, sorry.
Milan's interview is on.

I clearly was not okay
to drive that night.

I just thank God that
I didn't hurt anyone.

Some people might find
it hard to believe that

God has become an
important part of your life.

I did a lot of stupid
things when I was young.

What, like last week?

Ian has taught me about the bible.

- That whatever other people think,
- My God, she's

- got him dressed like a banker.
- God can forgive.

God has blessed us with a child.

- It's time to grow up.
- Great.

We can go with how she tried
to sell the same crap to you.

Those are words.

We're in a world of images, and
right now the image is of Milan

and her Mother Theresa
colors praising God to Tami G.

I want to meet with Jimmy
Darby tonight. My house.

Um... okay.

See, the key to playing

a drunk is you gotta try
really, really hard to act sober.

That's okay. All right.

Why didn't you just
come out with the truth?

She's not wrong.

I was drinking that night.

Your daughter dubbed lines to make it
look like you thought you were a dog.

That doesn't bother you?

Did you hear that horrible
voicemail I left her?

Don't you think I
deserve some bad press?

And she need some good press.

- To sell her show.
- Wait a minute.

- You're talking about my kid.
- Yeah, who stepped on your head

to get what she wants.

Listen, I haven't been a great father.

- You don't have kids, do you?
- No

Do you want 'em?

Okay, we're not here to
talk about me, are we?

I guess not.

Listen, I'm not evil.

But I wasn't there enough for her.

And I do drink sometimes. And I get
real pissed off. And I break shit.

So if my kid wants to make
a show that helps other kids

deal with their crazy families,

then I think it's a good thing.

Even if it's based on a lie?

It won't be a lie because I'm gonna
tell everybody it was my idea to do

that, okay? That I told her to
do it, that I made her do it.

- It'll never sell.
- It's my daughter.

She's 15, and she might have
something here. You know?

It's her shot.

Don't you think that
maybe you and I could

work out something else?

Why don't you just keep hammering me?

I mean, I'm an asshole.

I'm a terrible father.

Just keep roasting me

I just need for you to promise
that you'll leave her alone.

If you give me a bigger
story, I will bury this one.

Okay.

Milan Carlton.

She was a guest star
on your show, right?

The holiday special? Right?

Okay, I want you to call her up.

I want you to tell her that you're
having a really hard time with

all this bad press you're getting,
and it's just gonna get worse,

and you need the name
of her crisis PR person.

Not her regular guy, her specialist.

Okay.

I'll call her, and I'll get his name.

But I gotta tell you, there's no
way in hell her crisis PR manager

is gonna go on record with you.

That's okay, I just need his name.

Done.

We know Milan is using a crisis
PR guru named Dillon Frawley.

Obviously, he's not gonna talk.

We need to find a
way to get inside.

Go on. Go.

What you looking at?

Yeah, you should look away.

You little rat, ya.

You know what? Let's talk about
wardrobe and makeup later,

I know how to dress little Miss Priss.
Let's just go over the interview, okay?

Fine. I'm Tami G.

Milan, you've already been convicted
of one driving under the influence.

Now you've been
arrested a second time.

Why should you not go to jail?

- We're not gonna let her ask
that. - You want her to ask that.

You want to answer
the tough questions,

or at least seem to, okay?

So, why should you not go to jail?

Well, first of all, I only
had one glass of wine.

- And that on-ramp was barely
marked. I mean... - No. No. No. No.

This is your answer. Watch.

I clearly was not okay
to drive that night.

I thank God nobody got hurt. Yeah?

I'm gonna thank God?

- Screw God. - No, honey,
you can screw God off camera.

But on camera, trust me.
God is gonna set you free.

Listen to me.

You hired me so that I can tell you how
to get the public back on your side.

It's a Christian nation.
You want forgiveness?

Admit your sins,
turn it over to God.

I clearly was not okay
to drive that night.

I just thank God I
didn't hurt anyone.

Nice. Very nice. Now watch.

Screw God. That's our cover.

Lucy, the camera's hard
drive, where did we get it?

Sorry?

Just if anybody sues
or whatever, you know,

I'd rather not go to jail.

- Don, I always look out for you.
- I know.

I got it from some disgruntled worker.

Could be secretarial, could be...

cleaning crew. I'll cover you.

Besides, we're printing the truth.

They won't sue us because
it'll just make them look worse.

Okay.

You're doing good,
Don. I'm proud of you.

Thank you.

I think I figured out why
you hate Milan so much.

She's you.

I just gave you a
really nice compliment.

She's all of us.

See, we're a nation
of spoiled rich people.

Milan's just so extreme that it
makes us feel better by comparison.

But really, she's just the
part of ourselves we loathe.

That's why we need her.

Make us feel better, that's her job.

Well, she can't say the
job doesn't pay well.

I don't think it makes her happy.

Well, if you think she's unhappy
now, wait till she sees my next cover.

Lucy...

Holt was on the PR guy's camera, too.

- That little speech outside the club?
- No, no, no.

- Is it a story?
- I didn't look.

I saw that he was on
there, I didn't watch.

I figured it was up to you.

Okay. Thanks.

- All right?
- Thanks.

- Good night.
- Good night.

You want to humanize, you know?
You wanna focus on the people.

Julia was a real person with
a family and a brother...

- She didn't have a
brother. - Sister. Right.

You know what? Let's try it. Watch.

To you Julia Mallory
is a tabloid story.

But she was also a real person,

with a mother and a
father and a sister.

- Julia wasn't just a tabloid
story. - Nice, but open your arms.

You wanna be accessible.

- Yo. Yo.
- What... No, no, just...

You know what, forget
it. This isn't working.

No, no, you know what? I know it's hard.
It's awkward, but you gotta trust me.

No, listen, you don't get it,
'cause I don't give a shit.

All right? Come on. Look, dude,
I don't want to be molded.

You know, I'm just gonna
let the chips fall.

Sorry for your time. I'll pay you.

I wish you could've been there, buddy.

Man, there were so many rats,
you could've dined out for weeks.

I miss having our little chats, man.

I do.

Please, please, please, I have
something very important to say, shh.

I will be going to the Far
East to do some charity work,

which is the one thing
that will keep me sane.

With everything so negative here,
I can do something positive there.

Where people aren't
out to hurt you.

Maybe they'll appreciate me.

- Thank you. - Milan? Milan?

Hi, I'm Christa Darby. Tune into
Parent 911 starting next month.

I'll even have my own dad
with me for my first show.

- And, wow, we've had some
issues, haven't we? - We have?

I don't recall.

You know the irony?

It was all true. I mean, everything he
said on that first voicemail message.

His daughter is selfish and hollow.

Well, at least she came by it honestly.

Do you want dinner? I was gonna
get some Chinese.

In LA?

- Well, I know this place on Pico.
- Really?

I can't. It's past ten, and

Liz will kill me if I go out
to dinner with somebody else

instead of coming straight home.

I wasn't asking you out,
Farber. I'm working late,

- ordering in.
- Uh, I know. Sorry.

Well...

- Your girlfriend is one lucky woman.
- Thanks.

I wish she would say that.

I was being facetious.

- Hello?
- Oh, hey, Lucy. Were you sleeping?

It's three in the morning.

You seem to be sleeping a lot
better since you got stabbed.

It almost makes it worth it, huh?

It's good to sleep.

And yet, you're calling at 3 AM.

Well, Milan Carlton's on TV.
I thought you oughta know.

What are you doing? Oh!

Thanks, honey.

... was stopped by authorities
when she took time out

from her Christian relief
work to go topless on a beach

in a nation where public
nudity is illegal.

When police went through her
handbag, they found a gram of cocaine

in the socialite's makeup compact.

The country has a
zero-tolerance policy for drugs,

and the penalty for possession
of cocaine is death.

Lucy, are they really gonna execute her?

I already mocked up a "Milan
gets the needle" cover.

- Well, actually, it would be a hanging.
- Or a firing squad.

My cousin's in the state department.
He said I can be at the embassy

- when she's executed.
- She's not gonna be executed.

- She'll get off, like always.
- Really?

Well, maybe not like always. It is
a small nation in the Far East, but

she's Milan. They'll work something out.

Do you wanna bet? Good boy.

The government has decided to
be merciful on Miss Carlton,

and release her from prison...

... after receiving
three public lashes.

I'm sorry!

Daddy!

_/Yellow Sub\_
contact@yellowsubteam.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0