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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,437 This is make or break, folks. 2 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:07,477 Danny Poker's searching Melman's face 3 00:00:07,478 --> 00:00:09,437 for any clue he can find. 4 00:00:09,438 --> 00:00:11,457 He ain't got shit. 5 00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:13,577 Just a pair of threes. 6 00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:15,467 Ghost just gave him the cards again. 7 00:00:15,468 --> 00:00:17,427 - Oh. Mm-hmm. - There's a ghost on screen? 8 00:00:17,428 --> 00:00:18,457 - Right now? - Yeah. 9 00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:20,537 - The entire pot. - All in. 10 00:00:20,538 --> 00:00:23,467 Danny calls the bluff! How does he Al... 11 00:00:23,468 --> 00:00:24,527 Right there. Right there! Look! 12 00:00:24,528 --> 00:00:26,427 Oh, yeah. Okay, I think I see it. 13 00:00:26,428 --> 00:00:28,167 It's like a silhouette of, like, an old woman. 14 00:00:28,192 --> 00:00:29,527 No, no, a very large man. 15 00:00:29,528 --> 00:00:31,417 - Could've been a bodybuilder. - Okay, no, I don't see it. 16 00:00:31,418 --> 00:00:33,577 Oh, my God. Clyde, do you know what this means? 17 00:00:33,578 --> 00:00:35,567 You can capture a ghost on film, but nobody can see him. 18 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:38,268 It means somebody else out there can see ghosts. 19 00:00:38,293 --> 00:00:40,182 It's not just me. I'm not alone in the world. 20 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,457 Oh, right! 21 00:00:41,979 --> 00:00:44,940 Holy shit, and that person is Danny Pokertini! 22 00:00:44,965 --> 00:00:46,298 - This guy? - Holy shit. 23 00:00:46,323 --> 00:00:48,282 - This guy's a genius. - He seems to be 24 00:00:48,283 --> 00:00:50,142 - fairly intelligent. - Let me... no, no, no. 25 00:00:50,143 --> 00:00:51,202 You don't even know. 26 00:00:51,203 --> 00:00:52,322 I wanna know everything about this guy. 27 00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:54,172 - Okay. - Who is he? 28 00:00:54,173 --> 00:00:55,272 - His Insta is... - Where does he come from? 29 00:00:55,273 --> 00:00:56,273 Right here. Look at this. Look at this! 30 00:00:56,274 --> 00:00:57,117 - Look. Ladies. - Yeah. 31 00:00:57,118 --> 00:00:58,662 - Titties. - Yeah. 32 00:00:58,663 --> 00:01:00,752 - Guns, titties. - Titties. 33 00:01:00,753 --> 00:01:02,732 Boats, titties. 34 00:01:02,733 --> 00:01:04,862 - Drones, titties. - Titties. 35 00:01:05,353 --> 00:01:07,101 - Look at that double blowjob. - Holy shit. 36 00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,165 - Look at that. - God. 37 00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:09,648 Titties, titties. 38 00:01:09,648 --> 00:01:11,616 Holy fucking shit! 39 00:01:11,617 --> 00:01:13,666 - His cat is so adorable! - So goddamn cute. 40 00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:15,501 - Holy shit! - Okay, I'm in. I love this guy. 41 00:01:15,502 --> 00:01:16,612 What... how do we meet him? He seems like he's 42 00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:17,662 - a fucking rock star. - How do we meet him? 43 00:01:17,663 --> 00:01:19,502 Go back to the top. 44 00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:21,503 Last post. Boom! 45 00:01:22,305 --> 00:01:24,030 - [chuckles] - Club Le Douche. 46 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:25,582 Tonight, Danny Poker in attendance. 47 00:01:25,584 --> 00:01:28,483 DJ Skillitz putting the dubsmash in your eardrums. 48 00:01:28,484 --> 00:01:30,241 - Is his dick hanging out? - No, no, no. 49 00:01:30,266 --> 00:01:32,236 That's just his signature. Zoom in. 50 00:01:35,073 --> 00:01:39,042 That's the smartest thing I've ever seen. 51 00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:41,701 - The man's a genius. - A ghost-talking genius. 52 00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:44,829 - Like me. - Like you. 53 00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,720 54 00:01:49,555 --> 00:01:52,563 - Synced and corrected by hawken45 - - www.addic7ed.com - 55 00:02:19,009 --> 00:02:19,719 [sniffs] Are we a little bit early? 56 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,739 'Cause I feel like I'm still smelling lunch specials. 57 00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:23,709 Dude, you're trying to get up in the club 58 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,257 on a Tuesday with two guys and no girls? 59 00:02:26,282 --> 00:02:28,162 - Yeah. - You show up early. 60 00:02:30,223 --> 00:02:32,181 Hello! No, I'm just pretending 61 00:02:32,182 --> 00:02:33,433 to talk to you on the phone 62 00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:36,182 because I don't wanna look like a crazy person. 63 00:02:36,469 --> 00:02:37,897 Oh, my gosh. That's hysterical. 64 00:02:37,898 --> 00:02:41,911 [guffawing] 65 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,791 Okay, so he didn't see me yet. 66 00:02:43,792 --> 00:02:44,951 - Oh, shit. - I'm gonna have to pretend 67 00:02:44,952 --> 00:02:47,621 that I'm gonna have to call you back, okay? 68 00:02:47,622 --> 00:02:50,580 Pac! Pac, is that you? 69 00:02:50,581 --> 00:02:51,760 Hey! Oh, my gosh! 70 00:02:51,761 --> 00:02:53,580 - Hey. - Hi! 71 00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:55,630 - [grunts] - Hey! Hey. 72 00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:57,800 - How are you? Hey. - Hey. Hey! 73 00:02:58,855 --> 00:03:00,255 Gosh, I feel like I haven't seen you 74 00:03:00,256 --> 00:03:02,053 since our sweet mistake. 75 00:03:02,053 --> 00:03:03,811 Yeah, well, we only hung out the one time, 76 00:03:03,812 --> 00:03:05,556 so that would... that would make sense. 77 00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:07,917 Did he tell you about our sweet mistake? 78 00:03:08,171 --> 00:03:09,262 I don't think so. 79 00:03:09,262 --> 00:03:11,341 Did I? No, I... 80 00:03:11,342 --> 00:03:13,321 Then it's just our little secret, isn't it? 81 00:03:13,322 --> 00:03:15,341 Just you, me, 82 00:03:15,342 --> 00:03:16,663 - the bodies. - Shut up. 83 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:17,722 What bodies? 84 00:03:17,723 --> 00:03:18,772 Yeah, I would love to stand here 85 00:03:18,773 --> 00:03:20,489 and talk with you all fucking day, 86 00:03:20,489 --> 00:03:22,536 - but we are running late, so... - Oh! I'll give you a ride. 87 00:03:22,561 --> 00:03:24,157 I've got the hearse. It's parked just around the... 88 00:03:24,182 --> 00:03:25,476 No, no, that's cool. 89 00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:27,510 We have transportation plans of our own. 90 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,164 Well, she might be able to help us get in the club. 91 00:03:29,189 --> 00:03:31,074 The club! I love the club. 92 00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:32,792 I've got my good bra in the hearse. 93 00:03:32,792 --> 00:03:35,118 - Let's party! - It's called "Le Douche." 94 00:03:35,143 --> 00:03:36,711 - "Douche"? - No. You know what? It's fine. 95 00:03:36,712 --> 00:03:38,274 It's... it's... you can't because you just... 96 00:03:38,299 --> 00:03:40,711 they have a... there's a thing there. 97 00:03:40,712 --> 00:03:42,761 You just... you can't. You just can't. 98 00:03:42,762 --> 00:03:44,721 - I'm sorry. - Sorry? 99 00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:46,731 Don't... no, don't be sorry. It's fine. 100 00:03:46,732 --> 00:03:48,904 I have... you know what? I gotta take this call. 101 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:49,841 Hello, friend. 102 00:03:49,842 --> 00:03:51,701 I'll see you guys later. 103 00:03:51,702 --> 00:03:53,751 Yeah, no, it did not go well. 104 00:03:53,752 --> 00:03:55,681 Well, I don't care if you don't wanna hear it. 105 00:03:55,682 --> 00:03:57,157 What is the point of having a fake conversation 106 00:03:57,182 --> 00:03:58,771 if I can't tell you whatever I want? 107 00:03:58,772 --> 00:03:59,901 What was going on there? 108 00:03:59,902 --> 00:04:01,851 We, uh... 109 00:04:01,852 --> 00:04:03,721 we may have had sex. 110 00:04:03,722 --> 00:04:06,691 - Nice. - With four or five dead bodies. 111 00:04:06,692 --> 00:04:08,085 That explains the tension, man. 112 00:04:08,110 --> 00:04:09,799 I'm telling you, she was into you 113 00:04:09,799 --> 00:04:10,938 and we are not even at the club yet. 114 00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:12,808 I've got a good feeling about tonight. 115 00:04:12,809 --> 00:04:13,888 God, I feel filthy. 116 00:04:13,889 --> 00:04:15,868 Ah, you always feel filthy to me. 117 00:04:15,869 --> 00:04:17,929 Maximum bass 118 00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:23,819 Maximum bass 119 00:04:25,426 --> 00:04:26,656 Maximum bass 120 00:04:29,849 --> 00:04:31,818 I fucked that girl last night. 121 00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:32,958 That's rough. Look at them guys. 122 00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:35,858 Guys, wow. 123 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,968 No way. You guys aren't coming in. 124 00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:39,932 What? What do you mean? We're the first ones here. 125 00:04:39,932 --> 00:04:40,951 Yeah, and you showed up looking like 126 00:04:40,952 --> 00:04:42,734 Tron and fucking Dick Tracy. 127 00:04:42,734 --> 00:04:43,842 - Thank you. - What do you want me to do? 128 00:04:43,843 --> 00:04:45,872 - Gentlemen, step aside. - Hang on, I got this. 129 00:04:45,873 --> 00:04:47,772 [clears throat] So, 130 00:04:47,773 --> 00:04:49,892 what's it gonna take, huh? A 10? A 12? 131 00:04:50,153 --> 00:04:51,768 Actually, I need some of that for drinks, though. 132 00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:53,328 - Uh, is there a minimum? - Guys, 133 00:04:53,353 --> 00:04:55,312 my boy Skillitz is performing tonight, okay? 134 00:04:55,313 --> 00:04:56,738 This shit's gonna be packed in like a high-end butt plug. 135 00:04:56,739 --> 00:04:58,647 - Hey, Devin. Devin! - You and you 136 00:04:58,648 --> 00:05:00,542 - are not coming in. - Come on, man! 137 00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,948 - DJ Skillitz. - Yeah, DJ Skillitz... 138 00:05:02,973 --> 00:05:04,280 - You can hear me? - performing in here tonight. 139 00:05:04,281 --> 00:05:06,031 There's no choads allowed, okay? 140 00:05:06,032 --> 00:05:07,921 Uh-uh. I need to take a piss. 141 00:05:07,922 --> 00:05:09,041 - I'll be right back. - You should probably 142 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,356 - go hold his dick, right? - I do have to pee. 143 00:05:11,381 --> 00:05:12,470 When I start thinking about it, it's like... 144 00:05:12,471 --> 00:05:13,257 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 145 00:05:13,257 --> 00:05:15,565 You're the only asshole who can hear me. Why? 146 00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:17,569 I'm a medium, not an asshole, thank you very much. 147 00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:20,608 It's a power that still raises a lot of questions in me. 148 00:05:20,633 --> 00:05:21,564 And tonight, I'm actually hoping to meet... 149 00:05:21,565 --> 00:05:22,829 I don't care. As soon as you started talking, 150 00:05:22,854 --> 00:05:23,863 I realized that I don't care. 151 00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:26,803 Dude-bro, congratulations. 152 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,733 You get to help out DJ Skillitz right now. 153 00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:30,783 Yeah, sounds great, except for I'm a little preoccupied 154 00:05:30,784 --> 00:05:32,833 with trying to figure out how to get to your show tonight. 155 00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:34,833 The show I won't be performing at because I'm dead? 156 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,153 - Exactly. - If that's what you want, 157 00:05:37,178 --> 00:05:39,247 I got VIP passes back at my place. 158 00:05:39,248 --> 00:05:40,577 Yeah! Fuck yeah! Tradesies. 159 00:05:40,578 --> 00:05:42,496 I'm in! Okay, good. What do I have to do? 160 00:05:42,498 --> 00:05:45,487 I left a slightly embarrassing mess in my apartment 161 00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:47,030 and I need someone to clean it up 162 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,294 before I don't show up tonight 163 00:05:48,294 --> 00:05:50,343 - and they come looking for me. - Left your porn out? 164 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,002 Been there, done that. I lived 165 00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,480 in a massage parlor for six months, 166 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,283 had no Wi-Fi. I found a crate full of magazines 167 00:05:55,308 --> 00:05:56,539 by the Dumpster one time, 168 00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,349 brought it inside and whacked myself into oblivion. 169 00:05:59,373 --> 00:06:00,320 Passed out on... 170 00:06:00,345 --> 00:06:01,809 Please don't tell me this story. 171 00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:02,464 Yeah, you're right. 172 00:06:02,464 --> 00:06:04,483 That's probably more of a friends and family story. 173 00:06:04,484 --> 00:06:06,513 Clyde, we got a case! 174 00:06:06,514 --> 00:06:08,593 Party 175 00:06:08,594 --> 00:06:10,594 Yeah, we be up in the club 176 00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:15,464 Yeah, we be up in the club 177 00:06:17,524 --> 00:06:19,684 Come on, yeah, oh 178 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,563 Hey. 179 00:06:32,345 --> 00:06:34,454 It's, uh, not much of a mess, huh? 180 00:06:34,455 --> 00:06:36,414 I don't beat off in the kitchen. 181 00:06:36,415 --> 00:06:37,846 No, oh, sure. Yeah, obviously. 182 00:06:37,846 --> 00:06:39,775 Neither do I. But you could if you wanted to. 183 00:06:40,213 --> 00:06:41,362 It's beautiful. Very spacious. 184 00:06:41,363 --> 00:06:43,252 You could lay out on the counter there. 185 00:06:43,253 --> 00:06:45,361 Oh, dude, he's got one of these things? 186 00:06:45,362 --> 00:06:47,635 Yo, this thing, like, balances itself for you. 187 00:06:47,635 --> 00:06:49,295 - Ask him if I can try it. - Do we have time to try it? 188 00:06:49,351 --> 00:06:51,290 No. Fucking come on. 189 00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:53,300 No. Fucking come on. 190 00:06:53,301 --> 00:06:56,190 - Hey, we'll do it later. - Okay. 191 00:06:56,191 --> 00:06:57,330 Holy shit. 192 00:06:57,331 --> 00:06:59,291 Quite the "pornucopia." 193 00:07:00,381 --> 00:07:02,390 "Asian Sluts Quarterly," 194 00:07:02,391 --> 00:07:03,710 "Persian Carpet." 195 00:07:03,711 --> 00:07:06,335 Oh, fuck! The old "United States of Apparel" mailer. 196 00:07:06,391 --> 00:07:07,751 Oh, God, that takes me back. 197 00:07:08,414 --> 00:07:10,413 Hey, do we have to throw these out? Can I keep this? 198 00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:11,582 No, I'm not throwing it out! 199 00:07:11,582 --> 00:07:12,721 It's a collection. 200 00:07:12,722 --> 00:07:14,591 He can look at it here. 201 00:07:14,592 --> 00:07:15,741 You gotta put it down. Put it down. 202 00:07:15,742 --> 00:07:17,611 Okay, so what do you think? 203 00:07:17,612 --> 00:07:19,601 Uh, under the closet, into the bed? 204 00:07:19,602 --> 00:07:21,271 - Where do you want this stuff? - That all can go 205 00:07:21,296 --> 00:07:23,236 - into the closet. - Okay. 206 00:07:25,316 --> 00:07:26,591 Oh, shit! 207 00:07:26,592 --> 00:07:28,572 And that can come out of the closet. 208 00:07:33,742 --> 00:07:35,571 What the holy fuck? 209 00:07:35,572 --> 00:07:36,661 See, that's the reaction. 210 00:07:36,662 --> 00:07:37,761 That's the reaction everybody has 211 00:07:37,762 --> 00:07:39,631 - when you die jacking off. - Wait, this is 212 00:07:39,632 --> 00:07:41,597 a jacking-off accident? This is a "jaccident"? 213 00:07:41,597 --> 00:07:42,548 Look, it doesn't matter now. 214 00:07:42,548 --> 00:07:43,636 Let's just clean this place up 215 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,492 so this is not how I'm remembered. 216 00:07:45,493 --> 00:07:46,884 And then we can all go about our business. 217 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:47,953 You do you, I'll do me. 218 00:07:47,954 --> 00:07:50,446 This is a very, very different cleanup 219 00:07:50,446 --> 00:07:51,625 than I was originally sold on. 220 00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:52,734 Do you want those VIP passes? 221 00:07:52,735 --> 00:07:54,774 I mean, yeah, those would be nice. 222 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,776 Then be a good little girl and do what daddy wants. 223 00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:58,848 Ew. 224 00:07:58,873 --> 00:08:00,000 How much better? 225 00:08:00,278 --> 00:08:01,604 What? 226 00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,614 How much better than a normal beat-off? Ask him. 227 00:08:03,615 --> 00:08:04,804 10 times, easy. 228 00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:07,278 I don't know, man. Let's just get this over with. 229 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,700 No, no, no. Listen. 230 00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,235 This guy had everything 231 00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:12,179 and he died with his dick in his hand. 232 00:08:12,204 --> 00:08:13,493 It must feel fucking incredible. 233 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,481 Ask him. You gotta ask him, man. 234 00:08:15,506 --> 00:08:17,515 Think about all the things we could be missing out on. 235 00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:19,405 - Look at his dick. It's... - All right, okay! 236 00:08:19,406 --> 00:08:20,515 Clyde, it's 10 times better, okay? 237 00:08:20,516 --> 00:08:22,162 - Would you just help me lift? - 10 times?! 238 00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,457 10 fucking times? 239 00:08:23,457 --> 00:08:25,764 Think about how amazing a regular jerk-off feels. 240 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:26,875 I don't want to right now. I'm not in the mood. 241 00:08:26,876 --> 00:08:28,855 And then times it by fucking 10! 242 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,715 - Are you kidding me? - Good convo, Clyde. 243 00:08:30,716 --> 00:08:31,834 Okay, come here. 244 00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:33,784 Strictly from a time management perspective, 245 00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:35,704 I could beat off 10 times less 246 00:08:35,705 --> 00:08:37,724 if I was getting 10 times more out of every session. 247 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:38,814 Oh, shit! 248 00:08:38,815 --> 00:08:40,874 Oh, shit! Oh, God! 249 00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,734 Clyde! [groans] 250 00:08:42,735 --> 00:08:44,674 - Oh, we're touching dicks. - Oh, shit. 251 00:08:44,675 --> 00:08:45,854 Clyde, help me get his dick off my dick. 252 00:08:45,855 --> 00:08:47,834 - No, roll him off. Roll him off! - Come on! 253 00:08:47,835 --> 00:08:49,704 Ah, God! Oh, shit. 254 00:08:49,705 --> 00:08:50,864 - Oh. Oh, shit. - It's debatable 255 00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:52,784 - how worth it this would be. - [grunts] 256 00:08:52,785 --> 00:08:54,744 [groans, pants] 257 00:08:54,745 --> 00:08:56,794 - Oh, God! I gotta put him down. - Okay. 258 00:08:56,795 --> 00:08:57,864 Let's get him over to the toilet. 259 00:08:57,865 --> 00:08:59,674 - So gross! - Put him on the toilet. 260 00:08:59,675 --> 00:09:01,704 - Oh! - [grunting] 261 00:09:01,705 --> 00:09:02,764 God, he's heavy for a little guy. 262 00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:03,884 - [groans] - Okay. 263 00:09:03,885 --> 00:09:05,734 - Here we go. - [whimpers] 264 00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:07,794 We'll get some water. Come on, Clyde. 265 00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:09,884 [panting] Okay. We're cool! 266 00:09:09,885 --> 00:09:12,674 Yo, what the hell is this? 267 00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:14,330 This is as far as we take you, buddy. 268 00:09:14,355 --> 00:09:16,364 Elvis fucking Presley died on the toilet, 269 00:09:16,365 --> 00:09:18,404 so this... this is how you wanna be remembered. 270 00:09:18,405 --> 00:09:19,973 You know what I mean? 271 00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:22,334 I guess it is better than autoerotic asphyxiation. 272 00:09:22,374 --> 00:09:24,383 - Totally. - Passes are on the counter. 273 00:09:24,384 --> 00:09:27,243 Tell the fans that I love them. 274 00:09:27,244 --> 00:09:30,213 Skillitz! 275 00:09:30,214 --> 00:09:31,363 276 00:09:31,364 --> 00:09:33,383 Ooh, ooh! Ah! 277 00:09:33,384 --> 00:09:36,273 Oh. Wow, was that him leaving? 278 00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:37,373 - Yeah, that was him. - I felt that. 279 00:09:37,374 --> 00:09:38,870 That was really easy, actually. 280 00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,850 You know that feeling when everything's just going right? 281 00:09:40,851 --> 00:09:42,830 - I do. - [knocking on door] 282 00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:44,700 - Come on in! It's open! - No! 283 00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:45,701 What? Shit! 284 00:09:48,891 --> 00:09:50,820 Hey, Skillz. 285 00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:51,920 It's Dilana Frank, 286 00:09:51,921 --> 00:09:54,710 "Tumbling Stone" magazine. 287 00:09:54,711 --> 00:09:55,850 Shit. 288 00:09:55,851 --> 00:09:57,850 - What do we do? - What else? 289 00:09:57,851 --> 00:09:59,800 Hey... hey, what's up, girl? 290 00:09:59,801 --> 00:10:01,800 - What? What is that? - It's my Skillitz voice. 291 00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,740 Do you wanna do the interview here 292 00:10:03,741 --> 00:10:05,850 or go get a bite to eat? 293 00:10:05,851 --> 00:10:07,840 - No. - No, I'd rather do it in here 294 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:08,920 - in the shower. - Why?! 295 00:10:08,921 --> 00:10:10,800 'Cause I... 'cause I'm so... 296 00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:11,880 I'm so fucking dirty from dropping beats 297 00:10:11,881 --> 00:10:13,442 in my pants all day. 298 00:10:13,443 --> 00:10:14,472 What the fuck? 299 00:10:14,473 --> 00:10:15,642 Dude, that is negative energy. 300 00:10:15,643 --> 00:10:17,622 You're making this worse. Don't add pressure. 301 00:10:17,623 --> 00:10:20,482 You mind if I ask who you've got in there with you? 302 00:10:20,483 --> 00:10:21,652 No doubt. It's my soap bitch. 303 00:10:21,653 --> 00:10:24,313 Got my soap bitch in here. He delivers me all my soaps. 304 00:10:24,361 --> 00:10:26,170 You know, them dope soaps. Go say hi. 305 00:10:26,171 --> 00:10:27,360 That's not even how he talks. 306 00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:29,260 Trust me. I've had Skillitz yapping in my ear all day. 307 00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,230 - I've got this voice down. - Seriously? 308 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,380 Man, that's negative energy. You're fucking my shit up. 309 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,340 - Tell her to go away. - I just invited her in. 310 00:10:34,341 --> 00:10:37,241 - That'll be fucking weird. - What the fuck is a soap bitch? 311 00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:42,295 Hey! How are you? 312 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,681 I was just, uh, delivering some soaps. 313 00:10:44,682 --> 00:10:46,611 Soaps? 314 00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:47,721 Right. 315 00:10:47,722 --> 00:10:49,721 Is that what they call it 316 00:10:49,722 --> 00:10:51,771 in the future? 317 00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:54,680 Look, um, I don't give a shit. 318 00:10:54,682 --> 00:10:57,551 I don't put the drug dealer in the interview, so... 319 00:10:57,552 --> 00:10:59,731 Fire away! Skillitz wants to talk. 320 00:10:59,732 --> 00:11:02,541 All right. You mind if I record? 321 00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,621 Do you mind if I remix it later? 322 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,601 Shit. Remix! 323 00:11:06,602 --> 00:11:09,169 Skillitz, Skillitz, Skillitz! 324 00:11:09,194 --> 00:11:11,328 - Panties drop. - I'm cool if you're cool. 325 00:11:11,353 --> 00:11:13,282 Oh, I'd say I'm pretty fucking cool. 326 00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:15,212 - I'm fucking Skillitz. - Yes, you are. 327 00:11:15,213 --> 00:11:16,312 You know, I just realized 328 00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:18,132 I forgot to give him a couple more soaps, 329 00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:21,132 - so if you'll excuse me. - Yeah. 330 00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:22,332 Hey, tone it down! 331 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,212 Why are you in the shower? 332 00:11:24,213 --> 00:11:25,322 'Cause I wanted it to sound authentic. 333 00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:27,172 All right, I'm gonna dive right in. 334 00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:29,302 Uh, I got a couple of softballs here, 335 00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:32,172 but I think we both know my real questions 336 00:11:32,173 --> 00:11:34,878 are about this feud you have brewing with DeadR@t. 337 00:11:34,879 --> 00:11:36,906 A lot of people say it might not be real. 338 00:11:36,907 --> 00:11:38,006 - You sound crazy. - What? 339 00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:39,936 Act like a real rock star. Play it cool. 340 00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:41,936 - Okay, chill. - Skillz? 341 00:11:41,937 --> 00:11:44,588 - You there? - Yeah, girl. Still here. 342 00:11:44,613 --> 00:11:46,942 Can you say that last part one more again? 343 00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,317 Well, I was just saying it doesn't change the fact 344 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,012 that DeadR@t called you a rip-off artist. 345 00:11:52,037 --> 00:11:54,056 - DeadR@t said that about me? - Yep. 346 00:11:54,057 --> 00:11:56,946 The rodent with the fucking X'd-out eyes? 347 00:11:56,947 --> 00:11:59,996 Is the sting from that insult still fresh? 348 00:11:59,997 --> 00:12:02,026 I fucking hate DeadR@t. 349 00:12:02,299 --> 00:12:03,414 That one song, I guess, 350 00:12:03,415 --> 00:12:04,494 was stuck in my head for six months 351 00:12:04,495 --> 00:12:06,257 when I worked at the massage parlor. 352 00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:07,716 Now he's talking shit about me? 353 00:12:07,741 --> 00:12:08,870 You worked at a massage parlor? 354 00:12:08,871 --> 00:12:12,198 DeadR@t is what Jude Law listens to on his period. 355 00:12:12,473 --> 00:12:14,523 You can quote me on that one. 356 00:12:14,871 --> 00:12:16,750 Yo, can I tweet that? 357 00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:20,740 Absolutely. He's a pussy! 358 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,666 - [thuds] - Oh, he slipped! 359 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:26,127 But, uh... but I'm sure he'll be fine. 360 00:12:26,152 --> 00:12:27,764 He just, uh... he's just a little out of it. 361 00:12:27,765 --> 00:12:28,915 We should probably reschedule now. 362 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:31,775 Oh, my God! Are you okay? 363 00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:32,756 Skill? 364 00:12:33,846 --> 00:12:35,855 - One word. One word. - Skill? 365 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,421 Skillitz for life! 366 00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:39,350 Oh, look at that. He just passed out again. 367 00:12:39,351 --> 00:12:41,765 Uh, we'll definitely have to reschedule. 368 00:12:41,766 --> 00:12:43,336 He's fine, though. This happens sometimes. 369 00:12:43,361 --> 00:12:44,769 Oh, my God! 370 00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:45,859 Is there anything I can do? 371 00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:47,768 No, everything is fine. Thank you so much. 372 00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:49,745 I will be in touch to reschedule. 373 00:12:49,746 --> 00:12:50,925 Okay, yeah, that sounds great. Thanks very much, now. 374 00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:53,829 And I'm assuming these passes on the counter are mine? 375 00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:55,930 Yep, that sounds great. Thank you. 376 00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:58,749 All right. Feel better. 377 00:12:58,750 --> 00:12:59,929 - Fucking weird. - What, uh... 378 00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,779 what passes are on the counter? 379 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,779 Huh? Oh, fuck me. 380 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:05,800 Shit! 381 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,829 Shit. 382 00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:14,889 Yep, we gave her our passes. 383 00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:16,770 Well, shit. What are we gonna do? 384 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:22,889 385 00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:24,800 No. No. 386 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,765 - No. No! - Yes. 387 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,715 388 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:31,400 Holy shit, I think this is working. 389 00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:33,155 "Weekend at Ernie's," baby. Foolproof. 390 00:13:33,156 --> 00:13:35,184 Yeah! Except I think you mean "Bernie's." 391 00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:37,103 No, you're thinking of "Sesame Street." 392 00:13:37,104 --> 00:13:39,107 - No, that's Ernie. - Mm-mm. Bernie and Ernie. 393 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,344 I think you got your wires crossed a little bit, bud... 394 00:13:41,369 --> 00:13:43,448 - Oh, shit. Oh, shit! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pac! 395 00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:45,029 Oh. Cop. 396 00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:46,129 - Where? - There's a cop coming over here. 397 00:13:46,131 --> 00:13:48,030 - He's walking towards us. - Oh, shit! 398 00:13:48,031 --> 00:13:49,150 Okay, quick. If I yell Mayday, just drop the body 399 00:13:49,151 --> 00:13:50,960 - and run, okay? - No, no, no! I'm not fast. 400 00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:52,060 Well, then be wily. 401 00:13:52,061 --> 00:13:53,080 I don't even know what that word is! 402 00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:54,755 [horn honks] 403 00:13:54,756 --> 00:13:56,745 Hey! Is that DJ Skillitz? 404 00:13:57,601 --> 00:14:00,292 - [screams] - Oh, my fucking God! 405 00:14:00,293 --> 00:14:02,152 Hey, you guys wanna party with us? 406 00:14:02,153 --> 00:14:04,517 407 00:14:04,518 --> 00:14:05,627 Yes, we do. Yeah. 408 00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:06,667 Wanna get that door? 409 00:14:06,668 --> 00:14:09,673 410 00:14:10,772 --> 00:14:12,681 [gasps] Let's get a picture, you guys! 411 00:14:12,682 --> 00:14:13,741 - [gasps] - Ready? 412 00:14:13,742 --> 00:14:16,781 - Girls' night! - [laughs] 413 00:14:16,806 --> 00:14:18,651 Ugh, God, I look so bad. 414 00:14:18,651 --> 00:14:21,613 You always look so sexy. Okay, one more. 415 00:14:21,638 --> 00:14:22,917 Is this real champagne? 416 00:14:22,917 --> 00:14:24,806 Pac, this is real champagne! 417 00:14:24,807 --> 00:14:25,976 - What's fake champagne? - Oh, man. 418 00:14:25,977 --> 00:14:27,786 - [horn honks] - Oh, shit! Oh! 419 00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:28,916 [tires screech] 420 00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:30,846 Oh, my God! 421 00:14:30,847 --> 00:14:32,817 You're so forward. [gasps] 422 00:14:35,648 --> 00:14:38,377 Mm, you taste like a dead fucking dog. 423 00:14:38,402 --> 00:14:40,381 - I love it. - Sabrina, you should totally 424 00:14:40,382 --> 00:14:42,371 - take him to the hot tub. - [screams] 425 00:14:42,372 --> 00:14:44,311 - Let's do it! - That's a bad idea. 426 00:14:44,312 --> 00:14:46,327 I think... Sabrina, that's a bad idea. 427 00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:47,724 Okay, if you're gonna do it, just be careful! 428 00:14:47,724 --> 00:14:50,673 - He's fragile! - So how do you know Skillitz? 429 00:14:50,674 --> 00:14:52,322 Uh, how do we know him? 430 00:14:52,347 --> 00:14:54,356 Well, we're, uh... we've always sort of just 431 00:14:54,357 --> 00:14:56,376 - been part of his entourage. - That's right, yeah. 432 00:14:56,377 --> 00:14:58,523 Sort of like that HBO show "Ballers." 433 00:14:58,524 --> 00:15:00,492 - "Ballers"! - [laughing] 434 00:15:00,494 --> 00:15:02,514 435 00:15:09,554 --> 00:15:11,544 Okay. Clyde, let's do it. 436 00:15:12,624 --> 00:15:14,609 - Pac! Pac! - Oh, shit. 437 00:15:14,610 --> 00:15:16,489 - Hi, hi! - Hi, hi. 438 00:15:16,514 --> 00:15:18,715 - Oh, God, what a surprise. - Well, not really, 439 00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:19,868 'cause I told you we were gonna be here, but... 440 00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:21,708 Oh, my gosh! What's up? Where you coming from? 441 00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:22,848 Who are those girls? 442 00:15:22,849 --> 00:15:24,365 Not that it's any of your fucking business, 443 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,329 but those girls... very attractive, 444 00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:27,918 very frisky girls... were helping us 445 00:15:27,918 --> 00:15:28,947 transport a very important friend of ours. 446 00:15:28,948 --> 00:15:30,673 Fuck, they drove off! 447 00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:32,109 Who? Oh! 448 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,060 - I remember who. - Hey, wait! Wait a sec! 449 00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,047 Are you still not there? 450 00:15:37,048 --> 00:15:38,997 I told you I'm not fast enough! [pants] 451 00:15:38,998 --> 00:15:41,077 Wait! Hey! 452 00:15:41,078 --> 00:15:42,967 - Hey, come on! - I'm trying. 453 00:15:42,968 --> 00:15:44,142 It's... it's actually really slow. 454 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,342 - You're better off running. - [tires screech] 455 00:15:46,367 --> 00:15:47,281 Whoa! 456 00:15:47,282 --> 00:15:49,232 457 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,261 Rude! 458 00:15:55,296 --> 00:15:56,804 Skillitz shit the hot tub. 459 00:15:56,805 --> 00:15:57,914 We're not cleaning that up! 460 00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,884 His drunk ass is gonna cost us our deposit. 461 00:15:59,885 --> 00:16:02,774 I let him do things my husband doesn't even get to do 462 00:16:02,775 --> 00:16:03,954 and that's how he treats a lady? 463 00:16:03,955 --> 00:16:05,914 Tell him to grow the fuck up. 464 00:16:05,915 --> 00:16:07,794 Okay, I'll be sure to tell him that. 465 00:16:07,795 --> 00:16:08,854 - Thank you. - Yeah. 466 00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:10,834 - Enjoy your night! - What the fuck? 467 00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:12,775 - Why didn't you just run, man? - I don't know. 468 00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:16,008 Clyde, stop dicking around. Come on. 469 00:16:17,538 --> 00:16:19,309 Okay, just fell out of a limo. 470 00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:20,784 Uh, damage assessment. 471 00:16:21,237 --> 00:16:22,272 Yeah, he smells a bit. 472 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,444 Definitely dumped the bowels, 473 00:16:23,444 --> 00:16:26,273 but, uh, overall I'd say he looks pretty good. 474 00:16:26,607 --> 00:16:27,473 Missing a finger. 475 00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:29,287 Yeah, I'm not gonna ask any questions there. 476 00:16:29,312 --> 00:16:31,493 - Looks like Skillitz to me. - Yeah, right? 477 00:16:31,493 --> 00:16:33,271 - That guy's fucking dead. - What? 478 00:16:33,272 --> 00:16:34,646 No, no, no, he's just drunk. 479 00:16:34,647 --> 00:16:35,796 - No, yeah, he's just drunk. - Uh-uh. 480 00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:38,656 I know a dead body when I see one. 481 00:16:38,657 --> 00:16:40,655 It's my job. 482 00:16:40,657 --> 00:16:42,446 - It's also my pleasure. - Shit. 483 00:16:42,471 --> 00:16:43,097 Yeah, I know it is. 484 00:16:43,097 --> 00:16:45,116 God, Carol. 485 00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:47,632 Hey, what are the odds of you... 486 00:16:47,722 --> 00:16:49,109 Popping in the alley for a quick one? 487 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,627 See how much life he's got left in him? 488 00:16:50,628 --> 00:16:52,397 Or do a little touch-up on his face 489 00:16:52,398 --> 00:16:53,859 to make him look less dead? 490 00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:55,298 Oh, yeah. I've got my makeup in the hearse. 491 00:16:55,298 --> 00:16:57,277 Okay, get off me. Let's go, Clyde. 492 00:16:57,278 --> 00:17:00,168 493 00:17:21,851 --> 00:17:23,840 - He looks great. - Yeah. 494 00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:26,237 I hate to say it, but you're really good at this. 495 00:17:26,238 --> 00:17:29,207 You know, we don't do this enough. 496 00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:31,307 All right, I'm gonna let you have that one. 497 00:17:31,308 --> 00:17:33,177 - Carol! - Ooh. 498 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,690 No pictures! 499 00:17:34,691 --> 00:17:36,690 No pictures. 500 00:17:36,691 --> 00:17:37,840 Hey-ya. 501 00:17:37,841 --> 00:17:40,660 What's up, Skillz? How you living? 502 00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:41,781 Oh, he's living large. 503 00:17:43,861 --> 00:17:45,670 She's not with us. 504 00:17:45,671 --> 00:17:46,740 Uh-uh. 505 00:17:46,741 --> 00:17:48,670 Oh. Oh, no, I'm with them. 506 00:17:48,671 --> 00:17:49,820 Pac? 507 00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:51,630 Guys? 508 00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:53,690 Let the Le Douching begin. 509 00:17:53,691 --> 00:17:54,840 Fuck, yeah! 510 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,670 Oh, shit. Oh, my God, is that Danny Poker right there? 511 00:17:57,671 --> 00:17:59,791 512 00:18:02,651 --> 00:18:04,760 Maximum bass 513 00:18:04,761 --> 00:18:06,630 - Now's our chance. - No, no, no, we gotta 514 00:18:06,631 --> 00:18:07,730 - ditch the body first. - Oh, right. 515 00:18:07,731 --> 00:18:10,366 Yo, Skill! Baby, where you been, dawg? 516 00:18:10,391 --> 00:18:12,207 We need you onstage, like, yesterday. 517 00:18:12,207 --> 00:18:13,767 - Come on. - Yeah. Yo, dawg, 518 00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:15,385 actually, he wanted to sit down for a sec. 519 00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,830 We'll get him a chair. Come on. 520 00:18:16,831 --> 00:18:17,949 Yeah, cool, bro. 521 00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:19,749 - Do you have a hoverboard ramp? - No. 522 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:20,809 What, are you handicapped? 523 00:18:20,810 --> 00:18:22,889 No, I'm hoverboard friendly. 524 00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:25,909 [cheering, applause] 525 00:18:26,521 --> 00:18:29,749 They love you, Skill! Give 'em a taste, bro! 526 00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:30,929 Everyone's looking. Do something! 527 00:18:30,930 --> 00:18:32,939 Fuck, there's so many fucking knobs. 528 00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:35,240 What are you doing? What are you doing?! 529 00:18:35,265 --> 00:18:36,989 - Pressing buttons. - You can't just press a button 530 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,929 and be Skillitz! 531 00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:40,919 - Skillitz - [cheering, applause] 532 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,049 533 00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:44,059 All right. 534 00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:45,910 Oh, shit. What about him? 535 00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:57,050 - [cheering] - Oh, ho, ho, ho! 536 00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:02,029 537 00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:03,930 Good job, man. 538 00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:11,950 [clears throat] 539 00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:17,039 - Excuse me, Mr. Poker? - [music stops] 540 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,079 - Excuse me, Danny Pokertini? - [mic feedback rings] 541 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,889 I said, Mr. Pokertini? 542 00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:23,919 [murmuring] 543 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,049 Shit. 544 00:19:25,672 --> 00:19:27,607 - Copy. - Where are those d-bags at? 545 00:19:27,608 --> 00:19:29,583 Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. He's onto us. 546 00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,486 547 00:19:35,487 --> 00:19:36,697 Hey, yo, Skillitz! 548 00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:40,657 [screaming] 549 00:19:45,858 --> 00:19:47,867 Who's a pussy now, bitch? 550 00:19:47,892 --> 00:19:49,991 Tweet that, motherfucker! Whoo! 551 00:19:49,992 --> 00:19:51,791 [screaming] 552 00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:53,881 Uh, Danny! Fuck. 553 00:19:53,882 --> 00:19:56,821 - Was that Deadr@t? - Deadr@t's a murderer! 554 00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:58,762 He's a stone-cold murderer. 555 00:20:00,932 --> 00:20:02,882 That's all right. We'll get him next time. 556 00:20:06,419 --> 00:20:08,282 Or we could just return this to him tomorrow 557 00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:09,574 at his apartment. 558 00:20:10,782 --> 00:20:12,183 - [siren wailing] - Blackjack, bitch! 559 00:20:12,184 --> 00:20:14,061 - Unh! - Ah. 560 00:20:14,062 --> 00:20:16,171 [sniffs, snorts] Oh, God! 561 00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:17,202 Cocaine. 562 00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:21,510 Clyde! The Skillitz interview is up 563 00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:22,908 on the "Tumbling Stone" website! 564 00:20:22,909 --> 00:20:24,473 They used my quote about Jude Law 565 00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:26,606 and the fucking massage parlor and everything! 566 00:20:26,631 --> 00:20:27,701 Is... hey, hey. 567 00:20:28,651 --> 00:20:29,831 - Hey, buddy. - Hey. 568 00:20:31,628 --> 00:20:33,747 - I was just, uh... - Huh? 569 00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:35,890 - Changing my clothes. - Yeah, totally, man. 570 00:20:35,891 --> 00:20:37,030 That's cool. And I love change. I'm just gonna... 571 00:20:37,055 --> 00:20:39,024 I was gonna, like... I'm gonna... I'm just gonna... 572 00:20:39,025 --> 00:20:40,984 I'm gonna go jerk... 573 00:20:40,985 --> 00:20:42,924 I'm gonna read the article and I'm gonna go to bed. 574 00:20:42,925 --> 00:20:44,034 Okay. Cool, yeah. 575 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,781 I was just gonna read an article and go to bed, too, so... 576 00:20:45,781 --> 00:20:47,760 Yeah, cool, man. Good night. 577 00:20:47,761 --> 00:20:49,741 578 00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:52,751 Maximum bass 579 00:20:56,795 --> 00:21:01,795 - Synced and corrected by hawken45 - - www.addic7ed.com - 580 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:06,395 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41419

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