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1
00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:13,509
Ah!
2
00:00:13,509 --> 00:00:15,844
Ow, God! Hi! Hey Tyson.
3
00:00:15,844 --> 00:00:17,279
You can't go to the newsstand anymore.
4
00:00:17,279 --> 00:00:18,380
I... I just wanted to go there
5
00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:19,548
and grab a couple snacks.
6
00:00:19,548 --> 00:00:20,716
You know, get away from Sue.
7
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:21,850
We had kind of a rough night.
8
00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:23,819
Roofie's been arrested!
9
00:00:26,622 --> 00:00:27,823
Okay you can let go now, Tyson.
10
00:00:27,823 --> 00:00:28,924
I can't!
11
00:00:28,924 --> 00:00:29,925
My knuckles are caught
12
00:00:29,925 --> 00:00:31,426
in your braided bitch belt!
13
00:00:31,426 --> 00:00:32,594
Just let go! It's like a...
14
00:00:32,594 --> 00:00:33,729
it's like a raccoon trap.
15
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:34,797
You gotta ease your fingers,
16
00:00:34,797 --> 00:00:35,831
ease the fingers open.
17
00:00:35,831 --> 00:00:37,699
There you go! See?
18
00:00:37,699 --> 00:00:38,767
Ah!
19
00:00:38,767 --> 00:00:42,767
20
00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:49,878
(screaming)
21
00:00:49,878 --> 00:00:53,878
22
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,535
You were such a careful
23
00:01:13,535 --> 00:01:14,736
and considerate drug dealer.
24
00:01:14,736 --> 00:01:15,838
Who took you down?
25
00:01:15,838 --> 00:01:17,339
Look, I never met the cop,
26
00:01:17,339 --> 00:01:18,941
but that big dick swings
to the name of Sid.
27
00:01:18,941 --> 00:01:20,342
Sid.
28
00:01:20,342 --> 00:01:22,044
Like Sid from the nursing home?
29
00:01:22,044 --> 00:01:23,979
I... I'm an undercover cop.
30
00:01:23,979 --> 00:01:26,448
I got intel for the precinct!
31
00:01:26,448 --> 00:01:28,784
That old fucker was like
one foot in the grave.
32
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,752
His breath smelled like dead flowers!
33
00:01:30,752 --> 00:01:32,020
Look, we got a bigger problem, all right?
34
00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:33,722
All my product was confiscated.
35
00:01:33,722 --> 00:01:35,257
All of it.
36
00:01:35,257 --> 00:01:37,392
Even the special strain I was saving
37
00:01:37,392 --> 00:01:38,961
called Sue's finger.
38
00:01:38,961 --> 00:01:40,429
You named a special strain of weed
39
00:01:40,429 --> 00:01:41,530
after Sue's finger?
40
00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:42,931
You thoughtful devil, you.
41
00:01:42,931 --> 00:01:45,467
Listen, your dead girlfriend's finger
42
00:01:45,467 --> 00:01:47,903
is in a weed box in the evidence room!
43
00:01:47,903 --> 00:01:49,404
Okay well, lucky for us,
44
00:01:49,404 --> 00:01:51,340
I am a master improvoseur.
45
00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:53,775
- You're not.
- And a diplomat of disguise!
46
00:01:53,775 --> 00:01:55,010
Those two words don't even go together.
47
00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:56,945
- Read my lips.
- Through the phone?
48
00:01:56,945 --> 00:02:00,549
Yes. We are fine.
49
00:02:00,549 --> 00:02:02,351
I'ma fucking die in here.
50
00:02:02,351 --> 00:02:07,022
51
00:02:07,022 --> 00:02:09,791
(loudly clears throat)
52
00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:12,661
Officer Jeff... Jeffs... Jefferson...
53
00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:14,997
Jeff Jefferson reporting for duty.
54
00:02:14,997 --> 00:02:17,499
Preferably in the, uh, evidence room?
55
00:02:20,636 --> 00:02:22,938
(laughing)
56
00:02:22,938 --> 00:02:24,606
Who's the hilarious asshole
57
00:02:24,606 --> 00:02:26,275
who ordered a stripper
for Teddy's birthday?
58
00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:27,709
Oh... no. I'm... I'm not that.
59
00:02:27,709 --> 00:02:28,977
Oh shit!
60
00:02:28,977 --> 00:02:30,345
You're that fat dude from TV!
61
00:02:30,345 --> 00:02:31,747
Nope! I'm not that either.
62
00:02:31,747 --> 00:02:33,515
I'm not... I, I'm just an officer
63
00:02:33,515 --> 00:02:34,816
of the law here.
64
00:02:34,816 --> 00:02:36,451
I button my pants up one side at a time
65
00:02:36,451 --> 00:02:37,886
just like everybody else.
66
00:02:37,886 --> 00:02:39,321
Oh, you big time me?
67
00:02:39,321 --> 00:02:41,356
You know what? Fuck you.
68
00:02:41,356 --> 00:02:42,791
With all... with all your teeth,
69
00:02:42,791 --> 00:02:43,992
and all your fingers,
70
00:02:43,992 --> 00:02:45,527
and all your ears.
71
00:02:45,527 --> 00:02:47,763
Why do you not have those things?
72
00:02:47,763 --> 00:02:48,830
I'm gonna fuck the fame
73
00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:49,865
off your face.
74
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,767
- Ahh!!
- Hey!
75
00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:54,536
No! No, no!
76
00:02:54,536 --> 00:02:56,939
(yelling continues)
77
00:02:56,939 --> 00:03:00,939
78
00:03:04,246 --> 00:03:05,914
Improvoseur.
79
00:03:05,914 --> 00:03:09,914
80
00:03:10,519 --> 00:03:11,653
Please be open, please be open,
81
00:03:11,653 --> 00:03:12,955
please be open.
82
00:03:12,955 --> 00:03:13,855
(lock rattles)
83
00:03:13,855 --> 00:03:15,757
Ah, fuck a duck!
84
00:03:15,757 --> 00:03:17,326
- Freeze!
- Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
85
00:03:17,326 --> 00:03:18,760
I would never actually fuck a duck. I mean,
86
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,562
I can't even find the hole where the eggs
87
00:03:20,562 --> 00:03:21,897
come out... I mean, I can
find it, but I don't think
88
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:23,498
you could even get a finger in there.
89
00:03:23,498 --> 00:03:24,666
Hands on your head, asshole!
90
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:25,834
Okay look, look.
91
00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:27,069
You don't have to do this.
92
00:03:27,069 --> 00:03:28,370
This is just a big misunderstanding, okay?
93
00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:29,938
Haven't you ever made a mistake?
94
00:03:29,938 --> 00:03:31,606
As a matter of fact, I have.
95
00:03:31,606 --> 00:03:33,809
Oh!
96
00:03:33,809 --> 00:03:35,811
Oh, you're a ghost.
97
00:03:35,811 --> 00:03:37,512
Hey look, I can get in
a lot of trouble here.
98
00:03:37,512 --> 00:03:38,714
This is not the time or the place
99
00:03:38,714 --> 00:03:39,815
for a big, elaborate backstory.
100
00:03:39,815 --> 00:03:43,251
The year was 1989.
101
00:03:43,251 --> 00:03:44,553
I was hot on the trail
102
00:03:44,553 --> 00:03:46,288
of the most dangerous psychopath
103
00:03:46,288 --> 00:03:48,390
this city's ever seen.
104
00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:49,891
A serial killer?
105
00:03:49,891 --> 00:03:51,927
- A serial flasher.
- Oh.
106
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,528
Needless to say, the guy left
107
00:03:53,528 --> 00:03:56,498
a bad taste in my mouth.
108
00:03:56,498 --> 00:03:57,566
And you guys never caught him?
109
00:03:57,566 --> 00:03:58,967
We thought we did.
110
00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:00,369
My partner Frank and I were working
111
00:04:00,369 --> 00:04:01,470
around the clock.
112
00:04:01,470 --> 00:04:02,704
After months of dead ends,
113
00:04:02,704 --> 00:04:05,040
we landed on the doorstep of a man
114
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,275
named Johnny Penis.
115
00:04:07,275 --> 00:04:09,277
('80s synthesizer music)
116
00:04:09,277 --> 00:04:10,545
Wait, wait. Months?
117
00:04:10,545 --> 00:04:11,880
I would think with a name like Penis
118
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,382
he would have been a suspect immediately.
119
00:04:13,382 --> 00:04:14,883
Don't interrupt a flashback, man!
120
00:04:14,883 --> 00:04:15,951
It's fucking rude!
121
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,819
Yeah, I'm sorry, I hate that.
122
00:04:17,819 --> 00:04:21,456
123
00:04:21,456 --> 00:04:24,292
I kicked in the door on a hunch.
124
00:04:24,292 --> 00:04:25,694
- Freeze, asshole!
- Oh, woah!
125
00:04:25,694 --> 00:04:27,362
Take it easy, fellas.
126
00:04:27,362 --> 00:04:29,865
Don't move a muscle!
127
00:04:29,865 --> 00:04:31,266
I just gotta tighten my robe.
128
00:04:31,266 --> 00:04:32,667
I said fucking freeze!
129
00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:34,469
You... watch the language, fella!
130
00:04:34,469 --> 00:04:37,506
We got kids here!
131
00:04:37,506 --> 00:04:39,341
Keep those hands where we can see 'em.
132
00:04:39,341 --> 00:04:40,776
You got me just right
out of the shower, let...
133
00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:42,344
You think we're fucking around?
134
00:04:42,344 --> 00:04:44,012
You don't wanna see my penis, do you?
135
00:04:44,012 --> 00:04:46,281
Last warning motherfucker!
136
00:04:46,281 --> 00:04:47,783
137
00:04:47,783 --> 00:04:50,385
(gunfire)
138
00:04:52,954 --> 00:04:55,557
139
00:04:55,557 --> 00:04:58,794
(gunfire)
140
00:05:02,931 --> 00:05:05,333
He didn't leave us much of a choice.
141
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,469
No...
142
00:05:07,469 --> 00:05:10,505
Frank and I got medals and promotions.
143
00:05:10,505 --> 00:05:12,307
We were heroes.
144
00:05:12,307 --> 00:05:15,510
And the city felt safe again.
145
00:05:15,510 --> 00:05:17,879
That is, until it started back up.
146
00:05:17,879 --> 00:05:18,914
The flashing?
147
00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:21,650
Not just the flashing.
148
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:23,585
The photos.
149
00:05:23,585 --> 00:05:25,687
The sick bastard used to take Polaroids
150
00:05:25,687 --> 00:05:27,322
of his victims' reactions.
151
00:05:27,322 --> 00:05:29,057
- No!
- Yeah.
152
00:05:29,057 --> 00:05:30,826
Frank wrote it off as a copycock.
153
00:05:30,826 --> 00:05:34,826
But something about it rubbed me off wrong.
154
00:05:35,497 --> 00:05:37,566
Did we catch the right guy?
155
00:05:37,566 --> 00:05:39,568
Unfortunately, I died
156
00:05:39,568 --> 00:05:40,836
before I could ever be sure.
157
00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:42,771
Okay, I get it, I get it.
158
00:05:42,771 --> 00:05:44,372
Your obsession with this case is what
159
00:05:44,372 --> 00:05:46,308
ultimately led to your demise, right?
160
00:05:46,308 --> 00:05:47,409
No.
161
00:05:47,409 --> 00:05:48,743
Motorcycle accident.
162
00:05:48,743 --> 00:05:50,445
163
00:05:50,445 --> 00:05:51,913
(engine squeals to life)
164
00:05:51,913 --> 00:05:53,615
165
00:05:53,615 --> 00:05:55,984
(explosion)
166
00:05:57,853 --> 00:06:00,422
Precinct had the worst
fucking mechanic back then.
167
00:06:00,422 --> 00:06:03,458
Well, maybe I can help you solve this case?
168
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:05,861
Forget it, asshole, I only work alone.
169
00:06:05,861 --> 00:06:07,929
What? What about Frank?
170
00:06:09,598 --> 00:06:10,999
Fine. I just said that
because I don't want...
171
00:06:10,999 --> 00:06:12,701
- ... to work with you.
- Hey, like it or not,
172
00:06:12,701 --> 00:06:14,469
you need a living person
to solve this case,
173
00:06:14,469 --> 00:06:15,804
and I'm the only one who can see you.
174
00:06:15,804 --> 00:06:17,305
All right? And I need a ghost to help me
175
00:06:17,305 --> 00:06:18,640
get my girlfriend's finger out of
176
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:19,674
this evidence room, and you're the only one
177
00:06:19,674 --> 00:06:21,309
who can get me in there.
178
00:06:21,309 --> 00:06:22,277
So it looks like we might be
179
00:06:22,277 --> 00:06:24,880
stuck together, partner.
180
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,648
All right.
181
00:06:26,648 --> 00:06:28,850
- I got two rules, asshole.
- Hold, wait a minute.
182
00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:30,385
That's not, like, my new nickname, is it?
183
00:06:30,385 --> 00:06:31,887
First, don't call me partner.
184
00:06:31,887 --> 00:06:33,488
Okay, got it.
185
00:06:33,488 --> 00:06:35,590
And second, don't you dare embarrass me.
186
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:37,025
I would never.
187
00:06:37,025 --> 00:06:39,294
Hey! What are you doing down here?
188
00:06:39,294 --> 00:06:41,630
I don't know. I'm lost and scared.
189
00:06:41,630 --> 00:06:42,831
Well, we're ready for you now.
190
00:06:42,831 --> 00:06:43,965
Okay.
191
00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:46,034
Give me a minute, partner.
192
00:06:46,034 --> 00:06:49,971
193
00:06:55,722 --> 00:06:57,724
Detective Frank Powell?
194
00:06:57,724 --> 00:07:00,493
It's Chief Powell. Who the hell are you?
195
00:07:00,493 --> 00:07:02,762
Uh, I am Officer
Pacalioglu at your service.
196
00:07:02,762 --> 00:07:04,197
Uh!
197
00:07:04,197 --> 00:07:05,432
Jesus Christ, you're the stripper cop.
198
00:07:05,432 --> 00:07:06,766
How the fuck did you get in here?
199
00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:08,568
No, I'm not a stripper cop.
200
00:07:08,568 --> 00:07:10,070
I'm a medium, and I'm here
201
00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:14,074
with the ghost of your ex-partner Max.
202
00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:15,141
Max?
203
00:07:15,141 --> 00:07:17,444
Yeah, he's right here.
204
00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:22,582
You got one minute.
205
00:07:22,582 --> 00:07:24,117
Okay, that's all we need.
206
00:07:24,117 --> 00:07:27,287
We want to bust an old case wide open.
207
00:07:27,287 --> 00:07:29,122
What case?
208
00:07:29,122 --> 00:07:30,423
The Polaroid flasher.
209
00:07:30,423 --> 00:07:32,592
The Polaroid flasher.
210
00:07:32,592 --> 00:07:34,561
Jesus Christ, Max!
211
00:07:34,561 --> 00:07:36,162
You just can't let that thing go, can you?
212
00:07:36,162 --> 00:07:37,330
We caught the guy!
213
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:38,131
We didn't find one Polaroid
214
00:07:38,131 --> 00:07:39,566
on Johnny Penis.
215
00:07:39,566 --> 00:07:40,767
And remind him there's been new victims.
216
00:07:40,767 --> 00:07:41,801
Max wants me to remind you
217
00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:43,069
there's been new victims.
218
00:07:43,069 --> 00:07:44,804
No, there's been copycocks.
219
00:07:44,804 --> 00:07:46,272
- Yeah, but they...
- All right?
220
00:07:46,272 --> 00:07:48,074
None of these new victims could pick
221
00:07:48,074 --> 00:07:49,309
a penis out of the lineup.
222
00:07:49,309 --> 00:07:50,810
- None of them!
- Wait.
223
00:07:50,810 --> 00:07:52,045
You guys actually did that?
224
00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:52,712
I'm gonna have to ask you
225
00:07:52,712 --> 00:07:54,414
to leave, stripper cop.
226
00:07:54,414 --> 00:07:56,016
Hey, I'm just tryin' to help with Max, man.
227
00:07:56,016 --> 00:07:58,385
- You know, we're jamming!
- Max is dead.
228
00:07:58,385 --> 00:08:01,254
Okay? And this case is closed.
229
00:08:01,254 --> 00:08:03,223
Now you can take your booty cheeks
230
00:08:03,223 --> 00:08:06,359
and clap them together somewhere else.
231
00:08:06,359 --> 00:08:07,594
I'm sorry. I feel like I
232
00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:09,262
really let you down up there, Max.
233
00:08:09,262 --> 00:08:11,231
26th West 30th Street.
234
00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:13,366
What's that? A good s'mizza place?
235
00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:15,402
It's the address of the last victim.
236
00:08:15,402 --> 00:08:17,404
I saw it in the file
before Frank humiliated you
237
00:08:17,404 --> 00:08:19,639
with that booty clap comment.
238
00:08:19,639 --> 00:08:21,307
I say we go pay her a visit.
239
00:08:21,307 --> 00:08:22,809
Yeah!
240
00:08:22,809 --> 00:08:24,677
Hey! That's not how we roll.
241
00:08:26,146 --> 00:08:28,381
Holy shit. Sweet ride!
242
00:08:28,381 --> 00:08:29,516
Hop in, asshole!
243
00:08:29,516 --> 00:08:31,117
Yeah, can do!
244
00:08:31,117 --> 00:08:34,220
245
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,688
All right, let's do this!
246
00:08:35,688 --> 00:08:37,024
(tires squealing)
247
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:38,936
248
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,538
I wish I could help you identify him,
249
00:08:40,538 --> 00:08:42,173
but he held the Polaroid camera
250
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,842
directly in front of his face.
251
00:08:44,842 --> 00:08:47,311
He's a smart fucker, I'll give him that.
252
00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:49,513
Covers his face, flashes the damn camera
253
00:08:49,513 --> 00:08:51,248
right in his victim's eyes.
254
00:08:51,248 --> 00:08:53,317
Ma'am, I'm not interested in the face.
255
00:08:53,317 --> 00:08:55,986
Let's get into the meat of this, shall we?
256
00:08:55,986 --> 00:08:58,155
White?
257
00:08:58,155 --> 00:09:01,158
Black?
258
00:09:01,158 --> 00:09:02,793
Asian?
259
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,295
I'd say white?
260
00:09:04,295 --> 00:09:05,563
You'd say white?
261
00:09:05,563 --> 00:09:07,264
It had a healthy glow to it.
262
00:09:07,264 --> 00:09:08,866
I see, okay.
263
00:09:08,866 --> 00:09:10,534
- Circumsized?
- No.
264
00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:12,102
It was a hooded hell hound.
265
00:09:12,102 --> 00:09:13,404
Mhm. Any curve to it?
266
00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:14,872
A little to the left.
267
00:09:14,872 --> 00:09:15,873
Veins?
268
00:09:15,873 --> 00:09:16,874
A few, on the side.
269
00:09:16,874 --> 00:09:18,042
Pube pattern?
270
00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:19,276
Freshly groomed.
271
00:09:19,276 --> 00:09:20,444
Like it had seen a trimmer
272
00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:24,048
that very morning.
273
00:09:24,048 --> 00:09:25,049
How's this?
274
00:09:25,049 --> 00:09:26,116
Oh, God!
275
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:28,118
Oh, God. That's it.
276
00:09:28,118 --> 00:09:30,120
I... I... couldn't get out of its way;
277
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,589
it flopped right at me!
278
00:09:31,589 --> 00:09:33,324
I need to know about the balls.
279
00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:34,391
She's had enough, man.
280
00:09:34,391 --> 00:09:36,393
Ask her about the balls!
281
00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:37,895
Ma'am, the ball placement?
282
00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:39,363
No, please, I can't take anymore.
283
00:09:39,363 --> 00:09:40,431
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- I need to know!
284
00:09:40,431 --> 00:09:41,932
Okay. Stay with me!
285
00:09:41,932 --> 00:09:43,400
Focus up and describe
286
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,135
those dangly bastards to me.
287
00:09:45,135 --> 00:09:48,205
Oh, they were swinging.
288
00:09:48,205 --> 00:09:50,140
Ugh, I can still hear them slapping
289
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,475
against his mid-thigh.
290
00:09:51,475 --> 00:09:53,244
- Mhm.
- All right?
291
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,279
- Are you happy now?
- No!
292
00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:56,780
I didn't want you to cry!
293
00:09:56,780 --> 00:10:00,417
Aw, come... was that really necessary?
294
00:10:00,417 --> 00:10:01,952
- Mid-thigh.
- What?
295
00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:03,988
That testicular drooping is as consistent
296
00:10:03,988 --> 00:10:06,056
with a man in his mid-fifties.
297
00:10:06,056 --> 00:10:07,758
The exact age the Polaroid flasher
298
00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,460
would be if he were alive today.
299
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:11,862
Holy shit.
300
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,998
Are we hot on the trail of something?
301
00:10:13,998 --> 00:10:15,432
Unfortunately, we're fresh out of leads.
302
00:10:15,432 --> 00:10:16,934
Aw, fuck it.
303
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:18,869
We've got nothing but droopy balls
304
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:21,272
and a camera owned by
every family in the city.
305
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,806
What, uh, the Polaroid?
306
00:10:22,806 --> 00:10:24,909
No, no, no, nobody uses
the Polaroid anymore.
307
00:10:24,909 --> 00:10:26,944
But he's still buying film. How?
308
00:10:26,944 --> 00:10:28,045
On the internet, probably?
309
00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:29,346
The what?
310
00:10:29,346 --> 00:10:31,882
Right, there was no internet back then!
311
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,183
And a man in his fifties might
312
00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:35,352
wanna do things the old fashioned way.
313
00:10:35,352 --> 00:10:36,520
There's only one place in town I know
314
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,222
that still sells Polaroid film.
315
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:40,157
Right next to my favorite s'mizza parlor.
316
00:10:40,157 --> 00:10:41,892
Take me there, asshole.
317
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,994
I think I'm starting to like that nickname.
318
00:10:43,994 --> 00:10:48,365
319
00:10:48,365 --> 00:10:49,934
(loudly clears throat)
320
00:10:49,934 --> 00:10:53,103
321
00:10:53,103 --> 00:10:54,939
Vintage Polaroid 600 film.
322
00:10:54,939 --> 00:10:56,173
You carry it?
323
00:10:56,173 --> 00:10:57,508
It's not cheap.
324
00:10:57,508 --> 00:10:59,076
Sounds like our suspect has some cash
325
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,378
to throw around these days.
326
00:11:01,378 --> 00:11:02,913
My partner and I are going to need the name
327
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,081
and address of everybody who's bought
328
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,449
that film in the past...
329
00:11:05,449 --> 00:11:07,017
- Ten years.
- Ten years.
330
00:11:07,017 --> 00:11:08,085
You ever hear of
331
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,553
camera-customer confidentiality?
332
00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:10,554
Oh, shit, is that a thing?
333
00:11:10,554 --> 00:11:12,256
Is he making that up?
334
00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:14,158
Slam this motherfucker's
head against the counter!
335
00:11:14,158 --> 00:11:15,826
Yeah, what do I do? Just
grab him by the ears?
336
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:17,761
- By the fucking neck?
- The moment's gone, now.
337
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:18,862
But I'm like in the middle of doin' it!
338
00:11:18,862 --> 00:11:20,497
I'm calling the cops.
339
00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:21,799
No you're not, 'cause they're already here,
340
00:11:21,799 --> 00:11:22,900
butterface!
341
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,335
All right. Take it easy.
342
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,502
I'll just run in the back
343
00:11:25,502 --> 00:11:27,871
and grab the books, right now.
344
00:11:27,871 --> 00:11:30,341
You get the books, and then I'll relax.
345
00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:35,312
So, uh, when do I get my gun, partner?
346
00:11:35,312 --> 00:11:36,981
Never. And you really need
347
00:11:36,981 --> 00:11:38,849
to stop referring to us as partners.
348
00:11:38,849 --> 00:11:40,484
This is a classic partner quarrel.
349
00:11:40,484 --> 00:11:41,986
We're strangers.
350
00:11:41,986 --> 00:11:44,088
We do this one job and we're done.
351
00:11:44,088 --> 00:11:45,522
Don't think I'm gonna sit here
352
00:11:45,522 --> 00:11:47,191
and open up to you
353
00:11:47,191 --> 00:11:49,193
about my lesbian ex-wife.
354
00:11:49,193 --> 00:11:51,996
That never crossed my mind.
355
00:11:51,996 --> 00:11:53,297
Bitch.
356
00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:54,865
No, I thought we'd start small, you know?
357
00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:56,100
Like, what's your favorite kind of candy?
358
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,368
Got you pegged as a Kit Kat guy.
359
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,869
- Give me a break.
- Turkish delight?
360
00:11:58,869 --> 00:12:00,170
- You start...
- Watermelon nerds?
361
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:01,372
You start talking about personal stuff
362
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,240
and you're not focusing, all right?
363
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,177
- You miss shit.
- What kinda shit?
364
00:12:07,177 --> 00:12:08,212
Oh, clerk!
365
00:12:08,212 --> 00:12:09,380
God!
366
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,117
Ah, damn it!
367
00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:14,451
Oh, well.
368
00:12:14,451 --> 00:12:15,886
I'm sure we'll find another lead.
369
00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:16,987
Chase him!
370
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,322
It seems pretty fruitless now,
371
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,857
I mean, he's like halfway down the...
372
00:12:19,857 --> 00:12:23,260
373
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,862
Oh, uh-uh.
374
00:12:24,862 --> 00:12:27,865
375
00:12:27,865 --> 00:12:28,999
Sorry for your loss!
376
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:32,999
377
00:12:36,507 --> 00:12:37,474
You better start talking,
378
00:12:37,474 --> 00:12:39,443
or I start stompin'!
379
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:40,511
Go ahead.
380
00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:41,945
This is a vintage store.
381
00:12:41,945 --> 00:12:43,781
This shit's all broken anyway.
382
00:12:43,781 --> 00:12:45,249
Do you have any camera bags?
383
00:12:45,249 --> 00:12:46,550
Oh, on the back wall.
384
00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:48,185
To the left.
385
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:50,888
It's back there.
386
00:12:50,888 --> 00:12:51,955
Time to turn up the heat.
387
00:12:51,955 --> 00:12:53,323
Fuck yeah.
388
00:12:55,225 --> 00:12:56,960
Woah, okay, okay. I'll talk.
389
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,163
Really? Just like that?
390
00:12:59,163 --> 00:13:00,297
Yes.
391
00:13:00,297 --> 00:13:01,398
I can't afford to be closed
392
00:13:01,398 --> 00:13:02,299
in the middle of the day.
393
00:13:02,299 --> 00:13:03,567
Are you fucking crazy?
394
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:04,902
Yeah, let me think about that.
395
00:13:04,902 --> 00:13:06,370
Yes I'm fucking crazy!
396
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,905
I'm fucking nuts.
397
00:13:07,905 --> 00:13:09,573
- We want some names.
- We want some names!
398
00:13:09,573 --> 00:13:11,341
Well, there's this one guy...
399
00:13:11,341 --> 00:13:13,010
There's this one guy!
400
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,211
- There's this one guy...
- One guy!
401
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,345
One guy who keeps buying
402
00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:17,381
a lot of Polaroid 600 stock.
403
00:13:17,381 --> 00:13:19,983
Oh yeah?
404
00:13:19,983 --> 00:13:23,320
Let me ask you something.
405
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,890
Dick look anything like this?
406
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,358
Let me jog your memory.
407
00:13:28,358 --> 00:13:30,127
What's his dick look like, fuckface?
408
00:13:30,127 --> 00:13:32,329
I... I... I don't know.
409
00:13:32,329 --> 00:13:35,866
I just know his name is, uh, Barry.
410
00:13:35,866 --> 00:13:38,068
That's a good start.
411
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,403
Weinberger...
412
00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:40,904
Oh, you're still going, that's great.
413
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,906
... stein.
414
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,475
Sorry, did you just say
Barry Weinbergerstein?
415
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,443
- Yeah.
- You know him?
416
00:13:46,443 --> 00:13:49,813
Holy shit, yeah, I know him.
417
00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:51,115
He's the fucking president of...
418
00:13:51,115 --> 00:13:52,416
The president is a Jew?
419
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:54,184
What? No. Worse.
420
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:55,486
A woman?
421
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:56,520
No, I didn't mean worse like that.
422
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,155
I meant...
423
00:13:58,155 --> 00:13:59,556
This is bigger than any political scandal
424
00:13:59,556 --> 00:14:00,958
you could ever think of.
425
00:14:00,958 --> 00:14:02,159
This could shake up the entire
426
00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:03,927
reality entertainment industry.
427
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,130
Barry Weinbergerstein
428
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:07,865
is the President of Alt TV.
429
00:14:07,865 --> 00:14:11,135
The president of all TV?
430
00:14:11,135 --> 00:14:12,503
(stuttering)
431
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:15,506
Would that raise the stakes for you?
432
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:16,807
Fuck yeah.
433
00:14:16,807 --> 00:14:18,142
Then sure, yeah, that's him.
434
00:14:21,112 --> 00:14:23,114
435
00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:25,116
This goes all the way to the top...
436
00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:26,617
of reality TV.
437
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:28,653
Who the fuck keeps letting stripper cop in?
438
00:14:28,653 --> 00:14:30,388
Listen to me, Frank. The Polaroid flasher
439
00:14:30,388 --> 00:14:31,689
is still out there.
440
00:14:31,689 --> 00:14:33,157
Max and I discovered his true identity.
441
00:14:33,157 --> 00:14:35,660
Look, let me stop you right there, okay?
442
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:38,296
I need to make something
really clear to you.
443
00:14:38,296 --> 00:14:40,631
If I catch you playing
cop in my city again,
444
00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:42,700
I'm gonna have you arrested, locked up...
445
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,302
Let me guess, you're
gonna throw away the key.
446
00:14:44,302 --> 00:14:45,603
No, no!
447
00:14:45,603 --> 00:14:47,171
I'm gonna shove it up your asshole!
448
00:14:47,171 --> 00:14:48,139
That's what I'm gonna do!
449
00:14:48,139 --> 00:14:49,707
Be a big mistake, pal.
450
00:14:49,707 --> 00:14:51,309
I could eventually poop that key out
451
00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:53,678
and free myself.
452
00:14:53,678 --> 00:14:55,346
Look, this is over, stripper cop.
453
00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:57,181
Okay? Case closed.
454
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:59,117
Now I want you to clap
your ass on out of here.
455
00:14:59,117 --> 00:15:00,518
- Get to clappin'!
- All right, I'll go!
456
00:15:00,518 --> 00:15:03,221
But you should know
one thing before I do...
457
00:15:03,221 --> 00:15:05,690
Max is disappointed in you.
458
00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,593
I never said that.
459
00:15:08,593 --> 00:15:10,528
You didn't have to.
460
00:15:10,528 --> 00:15:14,528
461
00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:17,368
Max, I think this is where you and I
462
00:15:17,368 --> 00:15:18,569
part ways.
463
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,071
- What?
- Yeah.
464
00:15:20,071 --> 00:15:21,706
But we're so close.
465
00:15:21,706 --> 00:15:23,541
Did you hear Frank up there?
466
00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:25,076
He's gonna throw me in jail.
467
00:15:25,076 --> 00:15:26,344
If that happens, I won't be able
468
00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:28,279
to get what I need out of jail.
469
00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:30,548
And I'll have a key jammed up my ass.
470
00:15:30,548 --> 00:15:32,049
That was not part of the plan, Max.
471
00:15:32,049 --> 00:15:33,117
I'm sorry.
472
00:15:33,117 --> 00:15:34,685
It's fine.
473
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:36,254
I was a fucking fool for thinking
474
00:15:36,254 --> 00:15:38,423
you'd ever see this through.
475
00:15:38,423 --> 00:15:40,291
- Well...
- You're not a real cop.
476
00:15:40,291 --> 00:15:41,692
That's true. I'm really not.
477
00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:43,728
You're a stripper cop.
478
00:15:43,728 --> 00:15:47,064
Well, actually, I'm not that either, uhh...
479
00:15:47,064 --> 00:15:49,434
Is this what you were looking for?
480
00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:51,436
Oh my God! Sue's finger!
481
00:15:51,436 --> 00:15:53,471
- Oh!
- Yeah.
482
00:15:53,471 --> 00:15:55,606
Go finger fuck yourself.
483
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:59,606
484
00:16:02,346 --> 00:16:03,548
Sue?
485
00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:07,548
486
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,294
Is this seat taken?
487
00:16:50,294 --> 00:16:53,231
Get out of my car, you walking abortion.
488
00:16:53,231 --> 00:16:54,966
All right, I deserve that.
489
00:16:54,966 --> 00:16:56,400
It's harsh, but I deserve it.
490
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,969
Listen, I just want you to know,
491
00:16:57,969 --> 00:17:00,204
if you let me sit here,
I won't embarrass you,
492
00:17:00,204 --> 00:17:01,606
I will not call you partner,
493
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,441
and I won't even ask you
any personal questions...
494
00:17:03,441 --> 00:17:05,243
nothing about what your favorite candy is.
495
00:17:05,243 --> 00:17:07,478
Nothing. I swear.
496
00:17:07,478 --> 00:17:08,746
Okay?
497
00:17:08,746 --> 00:17:11,215
I just wanna see this thing through.
498
00:17:11,215 --> 00:17:15,215
499
00:17:16,354 --> 00:17:17,455
Okay, asshole.
500
00:17:17,455 --> 00:17:19,223
All right.
501
00:17:19,223 --> 00:17:23,261
All right, let's get down to biz.
502
00:17:23,261 --> 00:17:24,595
Oh, there is some messed up shit
503
00:17:24,595 --> 00:17:26,531
going on up there, Barry Weinbergerstein.
504
00:17:26,531 --> 00:17:28,332
Calling all units! We just got a report.
505
00:17:28,332 --> 00:17:31,135
There's a flashing on Flushing Avenue.
506
00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:32,336
Could be any flasher.
507
00:17:32,336 --> 00:17:33,571
Suspect has a penis that curves
508
00:17:33,571 --> 00:17:35,706
slightly to the left.
509
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,408
That's pretty common.
510
00:17:37,408 --> 00:17:38,743
Mine did.
511
00:17:38,743 --> 00:17:41,546
Suspect is moving south
with a Polaroid camera.
512
00:17:41,546 --> 00:17:42,647
Polaroid camera.
513
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:44,048
Shit! That's our guy!
514
00:17:44,048 --> 00:17:45,049
Let's bust him!
515
00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:49,587
516
00:17:49,587 --> 00:17:51,355
(loud sniffing)
517
00:17:51,355 --> 00:17:55,355
518
00:17:58,229 --> 00:17:59,697
Damn it!
519
00:17:59,697 --> 00:18:02,066
Where'd I put that extra film?
520
00:18:02,066 --> 00:18:03,501
Oh yeah, that's right.
521
00:18:03,501 --> 00:18:07,501
522
00:18:09,073 --> 00:18:10,207
Cover me, partner!
523
00:18:10,207 --> 00:18:14,207
524
00:18:18,649 --> 00:18:20,051
Oh!
525
00:18:21,218 --> 00:18:22,486
526
00:18:22,486 --> 00:18:24,188
(groaning in pain)
527
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,389
- You okay?
- Yeah.
528
00:18:25,389 --> 00:18:28,192
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
529
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:29,360
Where are we?
530
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,228
We found the flasher's den.
531
00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:33,130
Holy shit.
532
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:35,633
533
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,335
This one's dated yesterday.
534
00:18:37,335 --> 00:18:40,571
This must be his pube trimmer.
535
00:18:40,571 --> 00:18:41,572
It's still warm.
536
00:18:41,572 --> 00:18:42,506
He was just here.
537
00:18:42,506 --> 00:18:43,741
No.
538
00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:45,009
I'm still here.
539
00:18:45,009 --> 00:18:46,377
(camera shutter snaps)
540
00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:47,211
Woah!
541
00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:50,581
542
00:18:55,129 --> 00:18:56,831
How could you do this to me, Frank?
543
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:59,534
Wait a second. You're the Polaroid flasher?
544
00:18:59,534 --> 00:19:01,202
Dude, seriously, you have the most
545
00:19:01,202 --> 00:19:03,938
racially ambiguous penis
I have ever sketched.
546
00:19:03,938 --> 00:19:05,306
On the count of three,
547
00:19:05,306 --> 00:19:06,908
I'm gonna slide you the pube trimmer.
548
00:19:06,908 --> 00:19:09,043
Don't hesitate, just jam it in his neck!
549
00:19:09,043 --> 00:19:12,280
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
550
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,981
Why can he hear me?
551
00:19:13,981 --> 00:19:15,349
- I don't know.
- Shut up!
552
00:19:15,349 --> 00:19:16,918
Shut up. You know what?
553
00:19:16,918 --> 00:19:20,087
- I'll shut you up.
- Oh, boy.
554
00:19:20,087 --> 00:19:22,523
(grunts)
555
00:19:22,523 --> 00:19:24,425
Oh, not like that.
556
00:19:24,425 --> 00:19:26,327
What did... who the hell is that?
557
00:19:26,327 --> 00:19:28,095
That's Johnny Penis!
558
00:19:28,095 --> 00:19:29,831
That's Johnny Penis?
559
00:19:29,831 --> 00:19:31,232
Oh, he must not have gone into his light.
560
00:19:31,232 --> 00:19:32,900
Damn right, I didn't go into the light.
561
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,368
You assholes shot me before I got
562
00:19:34,368 --> 00:19:36,204
the perfect reaction photo!
563
00:19:36,204 --> 00:19:37,939
And I wasn't going without it.
564
00:19:37,939 --> 00:19:40,341
Fortunately, I learned about possession.
565
00:19:40,341 --> 00:19:42,977
And after inhabiting a few dirty hobos,
566
00:19:42,977 --> 00:19:44,545
I found the perfect vessel
567
00:19:44,545 --> 00:19:46,380
to continue my crimes.
568
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:48,249
A decorated cop.
569
00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:50,518
Who got blackout drunk every night.
570
00:19:50,518 --> 00:19:51,953
I'm taking you down
571
00:19:51,953 --> 00:19:54,021
once and for all, Johnny Penis.
572
00:19:54,021 --> 00:19:56,257
Looks like we finally
got our man, huh, partner?
573
00:19:56,257 --> 00:19:58,092
Yeah, I'm still not really
comfortable with that.
574
00:19:58,092 --> 00:19:59,861
That's okay, yeah, it was a little early.
575
00:19:59,861 --> 00:20:02,930
Hey, what... what's going on?
576
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,365
Uh, it's a little hard to explain.
577
00:20:04,365 --> 00:20:06,033
You had Penis inside you.
578
00:20:06,033 --> 00:20:08,135
I had Penis inside me?
579
00:20:08,135 --> 00:20:09,470
That's it, stripper cop!
580
00:20:09,470 --> 00:20:11,539
- You're under arrest.
- Me? No! What?
581
00:20:11,539 --> 00:20:15,209
582
00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:18,312
Oh, shit.
583
00:20:18,312 --> 00:20:20,014
I'm walkin' outta here.
584
00:20:20,014 --> 00:20:21,282
Don't try and stop me.
585
00:20:21,282 --> 00:20:25,282
586
00:20:28,456 --> 00:20:31,893
Say cheese, asshole!
587
00:20:31,893 --> 00:20:33,160
Yeah!
588
00:20:34,362 --> 00:20:36,998
It's over, Johnny Penis.
589
00:20:36,998 --> 00:20:38,933
You've been clipped.
590
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:42,803
- Nice!
- Oh my God.
591
00:20:42,803 --> 00:20:44,272
That face!
592
00:20:44,272 --> 00:20:46,007
Surprised.
593
00:20:46,007 --> 00:20:48,843
Disgusted.
594
00:20:48,843 --> 00:20:50,278
And yet intrigued.
595
00:20:50,278 --> 00:20:53,047
I wouldn't say intrigued...
596
00:20:53,047 --> 00:20:55,883
It's the perfect reaction photo.
597
00:20:55,883 --> 00:20:57,251
It's the... it's the perfect
598
00:20:57,251 --> 00:20:58,819
reaction photo!
599
00:20:58,819 --> 00:21:01,556
600
00:21:01,556 --> 00:21:04,158
(both breathing heavily)
601
00:21:04,158 --> 00:21:06,861
602
00:21:06,861 --> 00:21:08,296
- Hey, Pac.
- Yeah?
603
00:21:08,296 --> 00:21:11,399
Good & Plenty, that's my favorite candy.
604
00:21:11,399 --> 00:21:12,833
Really?
605
00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:15,002
Those are fucking gross.
606
00:21:15,002 --> 00:21:19,002
607
00:21:24,245 --> 00:21:26,047
Case closed.
608
00:21:27,415 --> 00:21:31,218
- What happened?
- There you go.
609
00:21:31,218 --> 00:21:34,522
You saved me from myself.
610
00:21:34,522 --> 00:21:35,790
I did.
611
00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:36,958
Good job, stripper cop.
612
00:21:36,958 --> 00:21:38,159
Thank you.
613
00:21:38,159 --> 00:21:41,395
Good job!
614
00:21:41,395 --> 00:21:42,964
I gotta stop drinking so much.
615
00:21:42,964 --> 00:21:43,998
Ha!
616
00:21:43,998 --> 00:21:45,266
I'll drink to that.
617
00:21:45,266 --> 00:21:46,901
You buyin'?
618
00:21:46,901 --> 00:21:48,769
619
00:21:49,870 --> 00:21:54,870
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
620
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:59,470
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