Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,147 --> 00:00:08,148
Are you okay?
2
00:00:08,148 --> 00:00:08,849
Yes.
3
00:00:08,849 --> 00:00:09,717
Does it hurt?
4
00:00:09,717 --> 00:00:10,751
Yes, Sue.
5
00:00:10,751 --> 00:00:12,219
It hurts.
6
00:00:12,219 --> 00:00:13,754
I got a bag of peas on it.
7
00:00:13,754 --> 00:00:15,189
Maybe we should just give up.
8
00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:16,757
No. No, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
9
00:00:16,757 --> 00:00:18,659
I'm being... I'm being a cranky bear.
10
00:00:18,659 --> 00:00:20,828
I... I'm just... I'm
frustrated with the situation,
11
00:00:20,828 --> 00:00:23,130
but it's a minor setback.
We'll figure it out.
12
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:25,232
Every time we try to hook
up you just fall through me
13
00:00:25,232 --> 00:00:26,867
and really hurt yourself.
14
00:00:26,867 --> 00:00:28,802
I know but it's a... it's
a good hurt. I like it!
15
00:00:28,802 --> 00:00:31,538
Plus you've destroyed,
like, everything you own.
16
00:00:31,538 --> 00:00:32,773
Yeah, I know. I feel like
17
00:00:32,773 --> 00:00:34,842
a drunk old wrestler or something.
18
00:00:34,842 --> 00:00:36,577
Okay, let me just try one more time.
19
00:00:36,577 --> 00:00:38,145
I really don't think it's gonna work out!
20
00:00:38,145 --> 00:00:40,581
Sue, please!
21
00:00:40,581 --> 00:00:41,749
Okay.
22
00:00:41,749 --> 00:00:43,117
Sweet.
23
00:00:43,117 --> 00:00:44,151
Okay, maybe you're right.
24
00:00:44,151 --> 00:00:45,519
Maybe we should stop.
25
00:00:45,519 --> 00:00:47,421
I don't think I can do this.
26
00:00:47,421 --> 00:00:49,690
What... what?
27
00:00:49,690 --> 00:00:51,659
I don't think I can be in a relationship
28
00:00:51,659 --> 00:00:53,527
if we can't touch each other.
29
00:00:53,527 --> 00:00:54,862
What does... what does that mean?
30
00:00:54,862 --> 00:00:56,163
What are you saying?
31
00:00:56,163 --> 00:00:57,798
I'm saying...
32
00:00:57,798 --> 00:01:01,502
I think...
33
00:01:01,502 --> 00:01:04,805
we should bring another
girl into the bedroom.
34
00:01:04,805 --> 00:01:06,306
What... what?
35
00:01:06,306 --> 00:01:08,542
I think we should have possession sex.
36
00:01:11,145 --> 00:01:15,145
37
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:22,489
(screaming)
38
00:01:22,489 --> 00:01:26,489
39
00:01:43,577 --> 00:01:44,778
A'ight. This one...
40
00:01:44,778 --> 00:01:46,380
is gonna give you a body high.
41
00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:48,515
This one is gonna be a mental high.
42
00:01:48,515 --> 00:01:51,418
And this one is more
of an existential high.
43
00:01:51,418 --> 00:01:52,853
What's an existential high?
44
00:01:52,853 --> 00:01:54,254
Well, that depends.
45
00:01:54,254 --> 00:01:57,357
What kind of a man is you?
46
00:01:57,357 --> 00:01:58,592
I don't know.
47
00:01:58,592 --> 00:02:00,494
I don't...
48
00:02:00,494 --> 00:02:02,162
I don't know.
49
00:02:02,162 --> 00:02:03,697
I don't know, Tyson, I don't know!
50
00:02:03,697 --> 00:02:05,499
Okay, okay, it's okay, it's okay.
51
00:02:05,499 --> 00:02:07,301
Definitely not this one then.
52
00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:09,503
Okay, give me whichever one is the freest.
53
00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:11,505
- Freest?
- I'm sorry. The most free.
54
00:02:11,505 --> 00:02:13,307
What, you think this
is a charity drive, yo?
55
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,542
No! I don't... Tyson, come on!
56
00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:16,677
Don't be a dink, man. I need it!
57
00:02:16,677 --> 00:02:17,778
I need it so I can have sex
58
00:02:17,778 --> 00:02:18,846
with my ghost girlfriend.
59
00:02:18,846 --> 00:02:19,680
Why don't you just get
60
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,081
a live girlfriend?
61
00:02:21,081 --> 00:02:22,282
I don't know! I've tried.
62
00:02:22,282 --> 00:02:23,584
I just... I...
63
00:02:23,584 --> 00:02:24,818
I wasn't socialized properly.
64
00:02:24,818 --> 00:02:26,587
I had a rough childhood.
65
00:02:26,587 --> 00:02:28,355
Oh, you thought you had it bad?
66
00:02:28,355 --> 00:02:29,289
Want to know what they used to call me
67
00:02:29,289 --> 00:02:30,557
in high school?
68
00:02:30,557 --> 00:02:31,625
You know those little sugar packets?
69
00:02:31,625 --> 00:02:33,393
- Like Sweet'N Lows?
- No!
70
00:02:33,393 --> 00:02:34,828
They used to call me Sugar Packets,
71
00:02:34,828 --> 00:02:36,697
asshole, 'cause I'm white!
72
00:02:36,697 --> 00:02:37,831
I don't know what to tell you, man.
73
00:02:37,831 --> 00:02:39,366
Roofie used to give me drugs
74
00:02:39,366 --> 00:02:41,568
in exchange for my beautiful friendship.
75
00:02:41,568 --> 00:02:45,172
Do I look like Roofie to you?
76
00:02:45,172 --> 00:02:47,741
Yeah, kinda.
77
00:02:47,741 --> 00:02:48,909
Oh, hell no.
78
00:02:48,909 --> 00:02:49,643
Really?
79
00:02:49,643 --> 00:02:51,245
Yeah!
80
00:02:51,245 --> 00:02:52,579
That's cool, man.
81
00:02:52,579 --> 00:02:54,481
Hey, I'll tell you what.
82
00:02:54,481 --> 00:02:56,650
I'll give you one mushroom for free.
83
00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:58,285
- One mushroom?
- Yeah!
84
00:02:58,285 --> 00:03:00,654
Is that enough to get anybody messed up?
85
00:03:00,654 --> 00:03:02,523
Works on me!
86
00:03:02,523 --> 00:03:03,724
Yeah.
87
00:03:06,627 --> 00:03:07,861
Yeah.
88
00:03:07,861 --> 00:03:09,396
89
00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:11,765
Okay, how about
90
00:03:11,765 --> 00:03:15,765
couple seeks woman for spiritual threesome?
91
00:03:16,403 --> 00:03:18,205
- Aw, that's sweet.
- Good.
92
00:03:18,205 --> 00:03:20,207
But if we want our ad to get a response,
93
00:03:20,207 --> 00:03:21,341
it needs to be less subtle.
94
00:03:21,341 --> 00:03:23,210
- Oh.
- Like...
95
00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:24,711
horny ghost girl
96
00:03:24,711 --> 00:03:27,848
seeks fun-loving female to possess
97
00:03:27,848 --> 00:03:31,318
for night of sin with
her hungry human lover.
98
00:03:31,318 --> 00:03:32,586
Whoa.
99
00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:33,687
Did you just make that up right now?
100
00:03:33,687 --> 00:03:34,688
- Mm-hm.
- That's good.
101
00:03:34,688 --> 00:03:35,823
You're really good.
102
00:03:35,823 --> 00:03:36,657
You could have been an author
103
00:03:36,657 --> 00:03:38,792
of ghost erotica.
104
00:03:38,792 --> 00:03:40,561
I was.
105
00:03:40,561 --> 00:03:41,228
Okay.
106
00:03:41,228 --> 00:03:42,830
And...
107
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:43,564
posted.
108
00:03:43,564 --> 00:03:45,299
There we go!
109
00:03:45,299 --> 00:03:46,867
I gotta say though, I
don't have a lot of faith
110
00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:48,402
in the people inside the internet.
111
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:49,436
I mean, do you think anybody's
112
00:03:49,436 --> 00:03:50,337
really gonna respond to this?
113
00:03:50,337 --> 00:03:52,206
You've got mail.
114
00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:54,208
Look at that! We got one response.
115
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:55,342
You've got mail.
116
00:03:55,342 --> 00:03:56,476
You've got mail.
117
00:03:56,476 --> 00:03:57,511
You've got mail.
118
00:03:57,511 --> 00:03:59,346
You've got...
119
00:03:59,346 --> 00:04:00,914
Okay, well.
120
00:04:00,914 --> 00:04:02,382
Thank you for coming.
121
00:04:02,382 --> 00:04:04,117
Uh, why don't you start off by telling us
122
00:04:04,117 --> 00:04:05,319
a little bit about you.
123
00:04:05,319 --> 00:04:06,186
Okay, great.
124
00:04:06,186 --> 00:04:07,321
My name is Jordana,
125
00:04:07,321 --> 00:04:08,388
I live in Brooklyn,
126
00:04:08,388 --> 00:04:09,790
and I'm a first responder.
127
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:12,259
Uh, no. Actually you
are the third responder.
128
00:04:12,259 --> 00:04:13,360
Uh, the first responder
129
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,561
was a little too educated,
130
00:04:14,561 --> 00:04:16,196
and it intimidated Sue over here.
131
00:04:16,196 --> 00:04:17,564
What? I wasn't the one
who felt intimidated.
132
00:04:17,564 --> 00:04:20,234
And the second responder,
133
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:22,369
she had a face that looked like, uh,
134
00:04:22,369 --> 00:04:24,104
like a baby bird that had been beaten
135
00:04:24,104 --> 00:04:25,539
with a tennis racket.
136
00:04:25,539 --> 00:04:28,842
Hi, I'm Allison Kelley, and I'm a model.
137
00:04:28,842 --> 00:04:30,878
Allison the model.
138
00:04:30,878 --> 00:04:32,412
Okay.
139
00:04:32,412 --> 00:04:34,781
So why do you want to engage
140
00:04:34,781 --> 00:04:36,483
in possession sex?
141
00:04:36,483 --> 00:04:39,219
Well, I never knew my father
142
00:04:39,219 --> 00:04:40,888
until one day I found out
143
00:04:40,888 --> 00:04:42,456
I accidentally had sex with him
144
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:45,792
as part of a photo-bang on his boat.
145
00:04:45,792 --> 00:04:47,594
So now normal sex with a man
146
00:04:47,594 --> 00:04:51,331
just does nothing for me.
147
00:04:51,331 --> 00:04:52,699
What else? I'm a vegan.
148
00:04:52,699 --> 00:04:54,167
Oh, next!
149
00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:55,202
I should just mention
150
00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:56,336
that above my pubic region
151
00:04:56,336 --> 00:04:57,838
I have a couple of tattoos
152
00:04:57,838 --> 00:05:01,838
in the shape of a herpes outbreak.
153
00:05:02,509 --> 00:05:06,213
So Beth, other than your
gorgeous Tempur-Pedics,
154
00:05:06,213 --> 00:05:07,748
what else should we know about you?
155
00:05:07,748 --> 00:05:10,584
Well, um, I used to be a school teacher,
156
00:05:10,584 --> 00:05:12,185
but then I quit when I realized
157
00:05:12,185 --> 00:05:13,487
I could make more money doing odd jobs
158
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,155
off Craigslist.
159
00:05:15,155 --> 00:05:16,623
Yeah, one day I could be cleaning
160
00:05:16,623 --> 00:05:18,659
some dude's apartment
wearing only a bikini,
161
00:05:18,659 --> 00:05:20,827
and the next I could be ghost-writing
162
00:05:20,827 --> 00:05:21,862
a term paper about
163
00:05:21,862 --> 00:05:24,298
acclaimed actor James McAvoy.
164
00:05:24,298 --> 00:05:25,532
Tonight I'm actually entering
165
00:05:25,532 --> 00:05:27,601
a, uh, a wet T-shirt contest,
166
00:05:27,601 --> 00:05:29,836
which, ironically, I need to win
167
00:05:29,836 --> 00:05:31,705
if I'm gonna pay this month's water bill.
168
00:05:31,705 --> 00:05:33,206
Kevin, she's like you!
169
00:05:33,206 --> 00:05:35,809
I never entered a wet T-shirt contest!
170
00:05:35,809 --> 00:05:38,145
I mean, not on purpose.
171
00:05:38,145 --> 00:05:40,180
No, I mean she's a freelancer.
172
00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:42,616
Oh, oh yeah! Oh nice!
173
00:05:42,616 --> 00:05:45,585
Yeah, I... I, too, am my own boss.
174
00:05:45,585 --> 00:05:49,189
Though I find he's kind
of a dick sometimes.
175
00:05:49,189 --> 00:05:50,857
Fortunately I'm really organized,
176
00:05:50,857 --> 00:05:52,326
so I don't really have a problem with that.
177
00:05:52,326 --> 00:05:54,661
No way! She's organized just like you!
178
00:05:54,661 --> 00:05:56,096
Can I just say something?
179
00:05:56,096 --> 00:05:57,397
When I read your guys' story,
180
00:05:57,397 --> 00:05:59,800
I thought it was the most romantic thing
181
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,501
I'd ever heard.
182
00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:03,437
I mean, two people unable to consummate
183
00:06:03,437 --> 00:06:04,638
their relationship because one of them
184
00:06:04,638 --> 00:06:06,440
doesn't have a body?
185
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,742
When I read that, I knew
I was supposed to see it,
186
00:06:08,742 --> 00:06:11,745
and, uh, I had to respond
before someone flagged it
187
00:06:11,745 --> 00:06:13,847
and it was taken down.
188
00:06:13,847 --> 00:06:17,617
I would be honored to be your sex vessel.
189
00:06:17,617 --> 00:06:19,353
190
00:06:19,353 --> 00:06:20,153
I like her.
191
00:06:20,153 --> 00:06:21,421
Yeah, me too!
192
00:06:21,421 --> 00:06:22,789
(giggling)
193
00:06:22,789 --> 00:06:24,324
- Like a lot!
- Yeah.
194
00:06:24,324 --> 00:06:25,859
Yeah, okay.
195
00:06:25,859 --> 00:06:27,260
Yeah, you're hired. You got the job.
196
00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:29,463
Okay, uh, what's the catch?
197
00:06:29,463 --> 00:06:31,231
- No catch!
- Good.
198
00:06:31,231 --> 00:06:32,666
Oh, but there is one other thing.
199
00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:34,501
Um, I think there's something supernatural
200
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:36,336
going on in my apartment.
201
00:06:36,336 --> 00:06:37,471
Do you think we could, like,
202
00:06:37,471 --> 00:06:39,306
work out some kind of deal?
203
00:06:39,306 --> 00:06:41,842
Yeah, but that's the... the
very definition of a catch.
204
00:06:41,842 --> 00:06:43,510
Kevin, please? I don't wanna lose this one.
205
00:06:43,510 --> 00:06:45,312
She's perfect.
206
00:06:45,312 --> 00:06:46,413
Plus I've always wanted
207
00:06:46,413 --> 00:06:49,116
a set of jugs like those.
208
00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:50,584
Me too.
209
00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:54,321
210
00:06:54,321 --> 00:06:55,555
So Beth,
211
00:06:55,555 --> 00:06:56,823
when was the last time
212
00:06:56,823 --> 00:07:00,193
you experienced anything strange?
213
00:07:00,193 --> 00:07:03,163
Last week, when I woke
up in a pool of water.
214
00:07:03,163 --> 00:07:04,498
I mean at first, I thought my dog
215
00:07:04,498 --> 00:07:05,532
had climbed into bed with me
216
00:07:05,532 --> 00:07:07,167
and pissed the sheets,
217
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,169
but then I realized
218
00:07:09,169 --> 00:07:12,706
I have never owned a dog.
219
00:07:12,706 --> 00:07:13,807
Whoa.
220
00:07:13,807 --> 00:07:15,108
So I knew it had to be him.
221
00:07:15,108 --> 00:07:15,542
Who?
222
00:07:15,542 --> 00:07:16,309
Satan.
223
00:07:16,309 --> 00:07:17,110
Satan?
224
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:18,111
Yeah, Lucifer.
225
00:07:18,111 --> 00:07:19,112
The dark prince?
226
00:07:19,112 --> 00:07:19,813
Yeah, the dark prince.
227
00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:20,747
Beelzebub.
228
00:07:20,747 --> 00:07:22,382
Like the antichrist?
229
00:07:22,382 --> 00:07:24,451
Yes, the lord of fire.
230
00:07:24,451 --> 00:07:26,153
Why the devil would the lord of fire
231
00:07:26,153 --> 00:07:28,188
be haunting you with water?
232
00:07:28,188 --> 00:07:29,456
I mean...
233
00:07:29,456 --> 00:07:31,858
Because he's trying to cool off.
234
00:07:31,858 --> 00:07:33,660
Right.
235
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:35,295
I mean, how else do you explain
236
00:07:35,295 --> 00:07:36,797
that the hauntings didn't begin
237
00:07:36,797 --> 00:07:38,698
until I converted to Satanism?
238
00:07:38,698 --> 00:07:40,567
You're a Satanist now?
239
00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:41,568
I mean, I don't need you
240
00:07:41,568 --> 00:07:42,869
to exorcise him or anything.
241
00:07:42,869 --> 00:07:44,571
I just need you to help me talk to him.
242
00:07:44,571 --> 00:07:45,839
Yeah...
243
00:07:45,839 --> 00:07:47,841
This is a prime example of something
244
00:07:47,841 --> 00:07:51,111
I wish you'd have
mentioned in your interview.
245
00:07:51,111 --> 00:07:53,313
I thought you saw my tattoo?
246
00:07:53,313 --> 00:07:54,848
No.
247
00:07:54,848 --> 00:07:56,750
Uh, look,
248
00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:59,987
are you gonna help me talk to Satan or not?
249
00:08:00,287 --> 00:08:01,555
250
00:08:01,555 --> 00:08:02,556
What the hell?
251
00:08:02,556 --> 00:08:04,124
(laughing)
252
00:08:06,971 --> 00:08:09,674
Here Satan, Satan, Satan.
253
00:08:09,674 --> 00:08:11,176
Satan?
254
00:08:11,176 --> 00:08:13,178
Ya in here?
255
00:08:13,178 --> 00:08:14,479
Huh, buddy?
256
00:08:14,479 --> 00:08:16,648
257
00:08:16,648 --> 00:08:18,583
Hey... hey Satan there, bud.
258
00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:19,984
If you're, uh...
259
00:08:19,984 --> 00:08:21,186
if you're hiding behind the shower curtain,
260
00:08:21,186 --> 00:08:22,654
don't be scurred.
261
00:08:22,654 --> 00:08:25,723
Okay, one, two, three.
262
00:08:25,723 --> 00:08:27,225
- The spirits!
- Jesus, fuck!
263
00:08:27,225 --> 00:08:28,693
Motherfuck, shit, oh my God.
264
00:08:28,693 --> 00:08:30,495
Satan, don't kill me, please!
265
00:08:30,495 --> 00:08:31,029
Satan?
266
00:08:31,029 --> 00:08:32,664
Oh goodness, no.
267
00:08:32,664 --> 00:08:34,532
I'm Father Michael.
268
00:08:34,532 --> 00:08:36,067
The fuck?
269
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,203
Why does your voice sound like that?
270
00:08:38,203 --> 00:08:39,704
Throat cancer.
271
00:08:39,704 --> 00:08:41,873
I mean, you bless one cigar factory.
272
00:08:41,873 --> 00:08:43,141
- Come on!
- Okay.
273
00:08:43,141 --> 00:08:44,209
All right, all right, got it.
274
00:08:44,209 --> 00:08:45,810
What are you doing here?
275
00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:47,178
Well, I'm Beth's childhood priest.
276
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:50,181
And my business was to
baptize Beth as a baby...
277
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,516
a whole bunch of babies actually,
278
00:08:51,516 --> 00:08:52,484
but I botched it.
279
00:08:52,484 --> 00:08:53,051
The whole batch?
280
00:08:53,051 --> 00:08:54,652
No just Beth.
281
00:08:54,652 --> 00:08:56,120
You see, Beth was the last baby of the day,
282
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,822
and I had run out of holy water,
283
00:08:57,822 --> 00:09:00,225
so I reached for a nearby
regular glass of water,
284
00:09:00,225 --> 00:09:02,660
but turns out it was flavored.
285
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:03,194
Lemon?
286
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:05,029
Lemon-lime.
287
00:09:05,029 --> 00:09:06,698
I've regretted it ever since.
288
00:09:06,698 --> 00:09:08,166
And now that I see the evil turn
289
00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:10,702
that Beth's life has taken,
290
00:09:10,702 --> 00:09:12,804
I am determined to right that wrong.
291
00:09:12,804 --> 00:09:13,771
Okay, yeah.
292
00:09:13,771 --> 00:09:14,806
Yeah, all right, okay.
293
00:09:14,806 --> 00:09:15,607
Oh!
294
00:09:15,607 --> 00:09:16,941
Shh, shh, shh!
295
00:09:16,941 --> 00:09:18,176
Are you talking to Satan?
296
00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:19,611
What's he sayeth?
297
00:09:19,611 --> 00:09:20,945
I have some good news
298
00:09:20,945 --> 00:09:22,080
and some bad news.
299
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,781
Uh, the bad news is
300
00:09:23,781 --> 00:09:25,483
it's not Satan.
301
00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:28,820
But the good news is it's not Satan!
302
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,555
Well, then who the hell is it?
303
00:09:30,555 --> 00:09:31,956
Uh, it's your childhood priest!
304
00:09:31,956 --> 00:09:33,124
It's Father Michael!
305
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:35,059
He... he botched your baptism as a baby,
306
00:09:35,059 --> 00:09:36,694
and he wants a do-over,
307
00:09:36,694 --> 00:09:37,996
I think, if he can do that.
308
00:09:37,996 --> 00:09:39,697
- A baptism?
- Yeah.
309
00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:41,466
To keep me out of hell?
310
00:09:41,466 --> 00:09:42,567
I don't know. I think so.
311
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,502
I am a Satanist!
312
00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:46,504
- I want to go to hell!
- Right.
313
00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:47,772
Now either Father Michael's gone
314
00:09:47,772 --> 00:09:49,107
by the time I get back from work,
315
00:09:49,107 --> 00:09:52,977
or you are never having sex with this body.
316
00:09:52,977 --> 00:09:54,012
What? No, no, no!
317
00:09:54,012 --> 00:09:56,047
No, no, no, hold on, that...
318
00:09:56,047 --> 00:09:57,081
That's not the deal. That wasn't the deal.
319
00:09:57,081 --> 00:09:58,116
The deal was
320
00:09:58,116 --> 00:09:59,450
that I just had to talk to him
321
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,718
and... and I'd do the sex
322
00:10:00,718 --> 00:10:02,453
with your body!
323
00:10:02,453 --> 00:10:03,488
Dude, deal?
324
00:10:03,488 --> 00:10:05,056
It's fucking Craigslist.
325
00:10:05,056 --> 00:10:05,957
You're lucky I'm not stealing
326
00:10:05,957 --> 00:10:07,225
your liver right now.
327
00:10:07,225 --> 00:10:08,860
Get rid of him.
328
00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:10,161
Excuse me, son.
329
00:10:10,161 --> 00:10:11,763
Did I hear directly that you and Beth
330
00:10:11,763 --> 00:10:13,798
are planning on having sex out of wedlock?
331
00:10:13,798 --> 00:10:15,934
Well, that depends.
332
00:10:15,934 --> 00:10:17,835
What's a wedlock?
333
00:10:17,835 --> 00:10:20,738
And only then, according to Corinthians,
334
00:10:20,738 --> 00:10:22,774
can you accept Jesus into your heart.
335
00:10:22,774 --> 00:10:23,875
Okay.
336
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:26,210
So it's not a warlock?
337
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,745
No!
338
00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:29,247
This has been a complete waste of time.
339
00:10:29,247 --> 00:10:30,782
What are we doing here?
340
00:10:30,782 --> 00:10:32,150
You're never gonna leave Beth alone
341
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:33,651
unless she agrees to get baptized,
342
00:10:33,651 --> 00:10:35,186
and she's never gonna agree, so...
343
00:10:35,186 --> 00:10:37,889
Well, technically she
doesn't have to agree.
344
00:10:37,889 --> 00:10:39,223
Babies get baptized all the time
345
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,859
without agreeing to it.
346
00:10:41,859 --> 00:10:43,194
Father, what are you...
347
00:10:43,194 --> 00:10:44,829
Are you saying we should trick her?
348
00:10:44,829 --> 00:10:46,598
No, I'm implying we should trick her.
349
00:10:46,598 --> 00:10:47,865
What? No!
350
00:10:47,865 --> 00:10:49,067
If I do that, am I...
351
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,535
am I gonna go to hell?
352
00:10:50,535 --> 00:10:51,502
No, you're not gonna go to hell!
353
00:10:51,502 --> 00:10:52,704
How do you know for sure?
354
00:10:52,704 --> 00:10:53,805
Why do you ask so many questions?
355
00:10:53,805 --> 00:10:54,606
Just have faith.
356
00:10:54,606 --> 00:10:55,773
Have faith!
357
00:10:55,773 --> 00:10:56,808
I don't have much of that.
358
00:10:56,808 --> 00:10:58,476
All you have to do is fool her
359
00:10:58,476 --> 00:11:01,145
into accepting Jesus
as her lord and savior,
360
00:11:01,145 --> 00:11:02,814
and then you just throw
some holy water onto her,
361
00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:04,549
and you say, "I baptize you in the name"
362
00:11:04,549 --> 00:11:07,085
"of the Father, the Son,
the Holy Spirit!" Come on!
363
00:11:07,085 --> 00:11:08,486
Great, okay, so I just need
364
00:11:08,486 --> 00:11:09,921
to get her someplace loud enough
365
00:11:09,921 --> 00:11:10,922
that she can't hear what I'm saying,
366
00:11:10,922 --> 00:11:12,056
someplace dark enough that
367
00:11:12,056 --> 00:11:13,558
she can't see that it's me,
368
00:11:13,558 --> 00:11:14,993
and someplace where I can just, like,
369
00:11:14,993 --> 00:11:16,427
douse her with water and she won't try
370
00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:17,996
and figure out what I'm doing!
371
00:11:17,996 --> 00:11:18,930
That's... that's gonna take
372
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:21,165
a fucking miracle, man!
373
00:11:21,165 --> 00:11:22,166
All righty.
374
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:24,636
I am off to Loud & Dark's
375
00:11:24,636 --> 00:11:25,837
for the wet t-shirt contest.
376
00:11:25,837 --> 00:11:27,672
Mmkay.
377
00:11:27,672 --> 00:11:29,007
Please don't steal anything while I'm gone.
378
00:11:29,007 --> 00:11:29,907
Mm-hm.
379
00:11:29,907 --> 00:11:30,708
I mean it.
380
00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:32,043
Hope you win!
381
00:11:32,043 --> 00:11:33,177
I hope so, too.
382
00:11:33,177 --> 00:11:34,545
- Oh...
- Oh!
383
00:11:34,545 --> 00:11:37,048
384
00:11:37,048 --> 00:11:38,016
How about this one?
385
00:11:38,016 --> 00:11:38,783
Yup.
386
00:11:38,783 --> 00:11:39,917
Or this?
387
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:42,720
Uh, either one.
388
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:43,988
What's up?
389
00:11:43,988 --> 00:11:45,490
Nothing!
390
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:47,125
I just... you know my whole stance
391
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,526
on Solids dating See-Throughs.
392
00:11:48,526 --> 00:11:49,927
I... I just don't see why
393
00:11:49,927 --> 00:11:52,096
you're going through all this trouble.
394
00:11:52,096 --> 00:11:54,132
- Trouble?
- Of forcing something...
395
00:11:54,132 --> 00:11:56,134
... that isn't really supposed to be.
396
00:11:56,134 --> 00:11:59,671
There's a ton of eligible
ghosts out there, Sue!
397
00:11:59,671 --> 00:12:02,640
I hear Saddam Hussein
is bomb at eating box.
398
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,575
Oh, Millie, gross.
399
00:12:04,575 --> 00:12:06,577
This isn't about just the sex.
400
00:12:06,577 --> 00:12:07,945
Don't you believe in soulmates?
401
00:12:07,945 --> 00:12:09,847
No!
402
00:12:09,847 --> 00:12:11,182
But that's a really great name
403
00:12:11,182 --> 00:12:12,784
for a ghost dating website
404
00:12:12,784 --> 00:12:14,185
that I'm about to create, so thank you.
405
00:12:14,185 --> 00:12:15,653
The point is, Kevin and I,
406
00:12:15,653 --> 00:12:17,522
we... we get along really well,
407
00:12:17,522 --> 00:12:20,658
but it's time to get physical.
408
00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:21,759
You're right!
409
00:12:21,759 --> 00:12:23,061
I'm sorry, it's...
410
00:12:23,061 --> 00:12:24,729
the whole dying on my period thing.
411
00:12:24,729 --> 00:12:28,032
It's just... I'm just
so hormonal, you know?
412
00:12:28,032 --> 00:12:32,103
But I am really happy for you, girl.
413
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:33,971
Oh my God!
414
00:12:33,971 --> 00:12:35,573
You would look so hot
415
00:12:35,573 --> 00:12:37,141
wearing a body wearing this.
416
00:12:37,141 --> 00:12:38,609
- You think?
- Totally!
417
00:12:38,609 --> 00:12:39,544
Let's just hope he doesn't
418
00:12:39,544 --> 00:12:41,145
fall for the sex vessel.
419
00:12:41,145 --> 00:12:42,980
420
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:44,615
Oh.
421
00:12:44,615 --> 00:12:45,683
What are you wearing?
422
00:12:45,683 --> 00:12:48,953
It's the only disguise I could find!
423
00:12:48,953 --> 00:12:50,054
Hello, there.
424
00:12:50,054 --> 00:12:51,789
Shabbat Salami.
425
00:12:51,789 --> 00:12:53,658
I am looking to locate the manager
426
00:12:53,658 --> 00:12:55,693
of this fine establishment.
427
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:56,594
Well, you found him.
428
00:12:56,594 --> 00:12:57,495
Oh!
429
00:12:57,495 --> 00:12:58,896
Donovan Peters.
430
00:12:58,896 --> 00:12:59,664
And you are?
431
00:12:59,664 --> 00:13:01,799
Rabbi Peters.
432
00:13:01,799 --> 00:13:03,835
No relation.
433
00:13:03,835 --> 00:13:04,869
So what can I do you for?
434
00:13:04,869 --> 00:13:05,770
Well, my friend, it's more
435
00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:06,971
what I can do you for.
436
00:13:06,971 --> 00:13:08,473
I would very much like to emcee
437
00:13:08,473 --> 00:13:10,675
the wet t-shirt contest here tonight!
438
00:13:10,675 --> 00:13:12,009
I emcee the wet t-shirt contest.
439
00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:13,511
I understand. Maybe we can
440
00:13:13,511 --> 00:13:14,846
come to some sort of arrangement here,
441
00:13:14,846 --> 00:13:17,115
you know, we can have
some sort of role-swap.
442
00:13:17,115 --> 00:13:18,549
Uh, you know, I emcee
443
00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:19,784
the wet t-shirt contest
444
00:13:19,784 --> 00:13:21,452
and you can, uh, come to my temple
445
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,187
and cut the skin off of baby penises.
446
00:13:23,187 --> 00:13:24,555
No, I'm sorry, rabbi.
447
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,224
That's, uh...
448
00:13:26,224 --> 00:13:29,093
that's not gonna happen.
449
00:13:29,093 --> 00:13:31,529
See, uh...
450
00:13:31,529 --> 00:13:34,665
See, this place is my temple.
451
00:13:34,665 --> 00:13:36,934
And the wet t-shirt contests
452
00:13:36,934 --> 00:13:38,936
are my weekly mass.
453
00:13:38,936 --> 00:13:41,105
Oh, Donovan.
454
00:13:41,105 --> 00:13:42,540
Donovan, Donovan, I had hoped
455
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:44,475
it wouldn't come to this.
456
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:47,678
Either I emcee that wet
t-shirt contest tonight,
457
00:13:47,678 --> 00:13:51,182
or you are going to get very, very wet.
458
00:13:51,182 --> 00:13:53,751
Very wet.
459
00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:56,487
Oh...
460
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:58,589
really, dude?
461
00:13:58,589 --> 00:14:00,158
You really wanna do this?
462
00:14:03,694 --> 00:14:04,962
What are you doing... what are you doing?
463
00:14:04,962 --> 00:14:06,998
The Lord's work!
464
00:14:06,998 --> 00:14:08,599
In nomine Patris,
465
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:10,902
et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.
466
00:14:10,902 --> 00:14:12,937
Amen.
467
00:14:12,937 --> 00:14:14,605
Pater Noster...
468
00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:17,475
Who's ready to see some t-shirts get wet?
469
00:14:17,475 --> 00:14:18,743
(cheering)
470
00:14:18,743 --> 00:14:21,145
(Father Michael speaking Latin)
471
00:14:21,145 --> 00:14:24,081
472
00:14:24,081 --> 00:14:25,550
But ladies, I have one very,
473
00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:27,585
very important question for you!
474
00:14:27,585 --> 00:14:28,986
Dost thou desire by faith in Jesus Christ
475
00:14:28,986 --> 00:14:29,954
to obtain eternal life
476
00:14:29,954 --> 00:14:31,189
through the church of God?
477
00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:34,826
And who wants some water on their titties?
478
00:14:34,826 --> 00:14:35,893
(cheering)
479
00:14:35,893 --> 00:14:40,064
(Father Michael speaking Latin)
480
00:14:40,064 --> 00:14:41,833
And I now baptize you...
481
00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:43,167
(Father Michael speaking Latin)
482
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:44,635
In the name of the Father...
483
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,737
(Father Michael speaking Latin)
484
00:14:46,737 --> 00:14:47,638
... and of the Son...
485
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:51,475
(speaking Latin)
486
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:53,711
487
00:14:53,711 --> 00:14:54,712
And of the...
488
00:14:54,712 --> 00:14:56,714
Holy shit! Oh my God.
489
00:14:56,714 --> 00:14:57,748
Get the fuck out
490
00:14:57,748 --> 00:14:59,717
of my spiritual sanctuary,
491
00:14:59,717 --> 00:15:02,119
you God damn heathen.
492
00:15:05,961 --> 00:15:07,963
Aw, fuck!
493
00:15:07,963 --> 00:15:09,365
Fuck! It was going so well,
494
00:15:09,365 --> 00:15:10,499
the whole thing was going perfectly.
495
00:15:10,499 --> 00:15:11,634
Fuck!
496
00:15:11,634 --> 00:15:13,402
(groaning)
497
00:15:13,402 --> 00:15:14,937
God damn it.
498
00:15:14,937 --> 00:15:17,439
Why must you test me this way, my Lord?
499
00:15:17,439 --> 00:15:19,642
Ah, this is my fault, Father.
500
00:15:19,642 --> 00:15:22,177
You know, clearly God does not want me
501
00:15:22,177 --> 00:15:24,046
to have sex with my girlfriend.
502
00:15:24,046 --> 00:15:26,382
Kevin, God doesn't care
503
00:15:26,382 --> 00:15:28,317
if you have sex with Beth.
504
00:15:28,317 --> 00:15:30,986
He just wants you to marry her first.
505
00:15:30,986 --> 00:15:32,521
Yeah, I got a... I got a...
506
00:15:32,521 --> 00:15:34,356
I got a little confession to make, Father.
507
00:15:34,356 --> 00:15:37,559
Beth is not my girlfriend.
508
00:15:39,161 --> 00:15:41,430
- I see.
- Yeah.
509
00:15:41,430 --> 00:15:44,066
Well, how about you
give me two "Our Fathers"
510
00:15:44,066 --> 00:15:46,268
and three "Hail Marys"
and we'll call it even.
511
00:15:46,268 --> 00:15:48,137
No, no, no, I mean...
512
00:15:48,137 --> 00:15:50,606
I mean my girlfriend is dead.
513
00:15:50,606 --> 00:15:52,541
All right: four "Hail Marys."
514
00:15:52,541 --> 00:15:54,243
No, no, I'm not making myself clear.
515
00:15:54,243 --> 00:15:56,979
My girlfriend Sue,
516
00:15:56,979 --> 00:15:58,614
she's a ghost, okay?
517
00:15:58,614 --> 00:16:00,182
And... and Beth is just
518
00:16:00,182 --> 00:16:02,384
this very surprisingly accommodating woman
519
00:16:02,384 --> 00:16:03,986
that we met online who was willing
520
00:16:03,986 --> 00:16:05,888
to let my girlfriend possess her body
521
00:16:05,888 --> 00:16:07,189
while she was super high
522
00:16:07,189 --> 00:16:09,024
so I can have sex with it.
523
00:16:09,024 --> 00:16:10,426
You understand?
524
00:16:10,426 --> 00:16:12,861
How many "Hail Marys"
are we looking at now?
525
00:16:14,897 --> 00:16:17,933
I knew Beth had lost her way,
526
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:20,336
but I didn't think she was this lost.
527
00:16:20,336 --> 00:16:22,504
Pretty lost.
528
00:16:22,504 --> 00:16:24,406
Well, I'm too late for her.
529
00:16:24,406 --> 00:16:26,308
And I've been so consumed
530
00:16:26,308 --> 00:16:28,210
with trying to baptize Beth
531
00:16:28,210 --> 00:16:30,546
that I forgot about
the most important tenet
532
00:16:30,546 --> 00:16:33,082
of the church:
533
00:16:33,082 --> 00:16:35,884
spreading His word.
534
00:16:35,884 --> 00:16:38,120
Now that I'm a ghost, I can...
535
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,155
reach all of those other lost souls
536
00:16:40,155 --> 00:16:42,291
and convert them,
537
00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:43,659
or at least try.
538
00:16:43,659 --> 00:16:47,229
Well, it is a numbers game after all.
539
00:16:47,229 --> 00:16:50,899
You can have your night of sin with Beth.
540
00:16:50,899 --> 00:16:54,169
I'm not going to be bothering her anymore.
541
00:16:54,169 --> 00:16:56,205
And...
542
00:16:56,205 --> 00:16:57,239
thank you, Kevin.
543
00:16:57,239 --> 00:16:59,208
Uh, for what?
544
00:16:59,208 --> 00:17:01,043
Helping me find my way.
545
00:17:01,043 --> 00:17:02,978
Yeah. Yeah, you got it.
546
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:05,180
547
00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:06,348
So how much do I eat?
548
00:17:06,348 --> 00:17:08,951
You eat the whole one.
549
00:17:08,951 --> 00:17:10,452
Yeah, just, uh, don't waste it, okay?
550
00:17:10,452 --> 00:17:11,620
That's all we have.
551
00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,522
I'm gonna go check on Sue.
552
00:17:17,526 --> 00:17:19,294
(giggling)
553
00:17:19,294 --> 00:17:20,496
Okay.
554
00:17:22,297 --> 00:17:24,199
Oh my God, you bought lingerie.
555
00:17:24,199 --> 00:17:25,367
Yeah, you like it?
556
00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:26,402
It's see-through
557
00:17:26,402 --> 00:17:28,504
to remind you of me.
558
00:17:28,504 --> 00:17:30,839
I just don't want you to
forget that I'm in there.
559
00:17:30,839 --> 00:17:31,907
What are you talking about? I'm not...
560
00:17:31,907 --> 00:17:33,442
Sue, hey.
561
00:17:33,442 --> 00:17:35,110
This whole thing, the whole night
562
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:37,112
is about you and me, okay?
563
00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:39,014
That girl in there, she's, like,
564
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,382
just some body we're using.
565
00:17:40,382 --> 00:17:41,617
That's it.
566
00:17:41,617 --> 00:17:43,452
A super hot body.
567
00:17:43,452 --> 00:17:45,120
Yeah, she has a super hot body
568
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:48,891
that you're gonna be inside of.
569
00:17:48,891 --> 00:17:50,526
That we'll both be inside of.
570
00:17:50,526 --> 00:17:53,028
(giggling)
571
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,163
Right?
572
00:17:54,163 --> 00:17:55,330
Yeah.
573
00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:56,632
Okay, okay.
574
00:17:56,632 --> 00:17:58,300
Ew!
575
00:17:58,300 --> 00:17:59,601
But hey, hey, listen, listen.
576
00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:01,437
Honestly if you're uncomfortable
577
00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:02,604
or if you want me to call it off,
578
00:18:02,604 --> 00:18:03,539
I will call the whole thing off
579
00:18:03,539 --> 00:18:05,073
right now. Okay?
580
00:18:05,073 --> 00:18:06,942
And she'll just be some girl in there
581
00:18:06,942 --> 00:18:11,346
having a horrifying
mushroom trip all by herself.
582
00:18:11,346 --> 00:18:13,382
No, I wanna do this.
583
00:18:13,382 --> 00:18:14,116
You wanna do it?
584
00:18:14,116 --> 00:18:16,185
Yes.
585
00:18:16,185 --> 00:18:19,054
Ready or not, here we come.
586
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,889
Okay, so you're not ready.
587
00:18:20,889 --> 00:18:22,324
Oh my God, I think she's OD'ing!
588
00:18:22,324 --> 00:18:23,559
What? What do you mean, how do you OD
589
00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:24,893
on one mushroom?
590
00:18:24,893 --> 00:18:26,061
Maybe it's poisonous!
591
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:27,129
Of course it's poisonous, Sue!
592
00:18:27,129 --> 00:18:28,230
It's a magic mushroom.
593
00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:30,232
The magic is the poison.
594
00:18:30,232 --> 00:18:31,500
Beth? Stop, stop, stop!
595
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:32,534
Beth, Beth!
596
00:18:32,534 --> 00:18:34,336
Stay with me.
597
00:18:34,336 --> 00:18:36,004
Jesus loves you.
598
00:18:36,004 --> 00:18:37,573
Father Michael?
599
00:18:37,573 --> 00:18:39,141
Oh!
600
00:18:39,141 --> 00:18:40,142
You didn't think I was gonna give up
601
00:18:40,142 --> 00:18:41,577
that easily, did you?
602
00:18:41,577 --> 00:18:43,245
(screaming)
603
00:18:43,245 --> 00:18:44,546
What's happening to me?
604
00:18:44,546 --> 00:18:46,014
Shut up, you whore! Shut up!
605
00:18:46,014 --> 00:18:46,949
Oh my God, I think there's
606
00:18:46,949 --> 00:18:48,217
a demon inside of her.
607
00:18:48,217 --> 00:18:49,918
Should we call a priest?
608
00:18:49,918 --> 00:18:51,420
It's a priest that's inside of her!
609
00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:53,388
Well, uh, should we call a Satanist?
610
00:18:53,388 --> 00:18:55,858
She is a Satanist, Sue. Keep up.
611
00:18:55,858 --> 00:18:56,959
What?
612
00:18:56,959 --> 00:18:59,027
613
00:18:59,027 --> 00:18:59,561
Oh my God!
614
00:18:59,561 --> 00:19:00,896
Ah, ahh!
615
00:19:00,896 --> 00:19:02,297
No, no, no, get back here!
616
00:19:02,297 --> 00:19:04,399
Get back here with our sex vessel.
617
00:19:04,399 --> 00:19:06,535
Thou shalt not steal!
618
00:19:11,273 --> 00:19:15,877
619
00:19:15,877 --> 00:19:18,446
Father Michael!
620
00:19:18,446 --> 00:19:19,781
No, no.
621
00:19:19,781 --> 00:19:20,949
Okay, can you stop doing that?
622
00:19:20,949 --> 00:19:23,285
You're making me nauseous.
623
00:19:23,285 --> 00:19:24,619
You're making me dizzy.
624
00:19:24,619 --> 00:19:28,619
625
00:19:38,466 --> 00:19:40,669
Dost I desire by the faith in Jesus Christ
626
00:19:40,669 --> 00:19:44,139
to obtain eternal life in the church of...
627
00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:46,408
Ah, no!
628
00:19:46,408 --> 00:19:47,709
Yes I do.
629
00:19:47,709 --> 00:19:49,778
I baptize you in the name of the Father
630
00:19:49,778 --> 00:19:52,581
and of the Son and of the Holy...
631
00:19:52,581 --> 00:19:53,448
632
00:19:53,448 --> 00:19:54,549
Ah, ah!
633
00:19:54,549 --> 00:19:58,549
634
00:20:03,258 --> 00:20:04,492
Beth.
635
00:20:04,492 --> 00:20:05,293
Beth!
636
00:20:05,293 --> 00:20:06,261
Beth, wake up.
637
00:20:06,261 --> 00:20:06,728
Hey, hey.
638
00:20:06,728 --> 00:20:08,330
Jesus?
639
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,364
Jesus? No, no, no.
640
00:20:09,364 --> 00:20:10,632
It's me, Pac.
641
00:20:10,632 --> 00:20:12,434
No, not you.
642
00:20:12,434 --> 00:20:14,836
(whispering voice)
643
00:20:14,836 --> 00:20:17,739
644
00:20:17,739 --> 00:20:20,275
I never should have doubted you, my savior.
645
00:20:20,275 --> 00:20:22,210
Shit.
646
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:23,568
- Kevin?
- Sue!
647
00:20:23,568 --> 00:20:25,370
Oh thank fucking Christ you're here.
648
00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:26,905
Beth, Beth. Sue's here. Come on, come on,
649
00:20:26,905 --> 00:20:27,872
if we're gonna finish what we started,
650
00:20:27,872 --> 00:20:28,940
we gotta do it now, okay?
651
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,455
Here, now.
652
00:20:30,455 --> 00:20:31,556
I can't.
653
00:20:31,556 --> 00:20:32,957
I'm sorry.
654
00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:34,993
I made a promise to Jesus.
655
00:20:34,993 --> 00:20:39,030
He needs me as his vessel.
656
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,065
Oh boy.
657
00:20:40,065 --> 00:20:41,032
You really get around,
658
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,133
don't ya?
659
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:46,133
660
00:20:51,609 --> 00:20:54,646
Oh God.
661
00:20:54,646 --> 00:20:56,114
Damn it, do you think
I should go after her?
662
00:20:56,114 --> 00:20:58,016
I don't know! You think
she'll change her mind?
663
00:20:58,016 --> 00:20:59,751
Change her mind? No, I meant
664
00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:00,852
maybe I can get some money from her
665
00:21:00,852 --> 00:21:01,886
for the exorcism?
666
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,721
- You think?
- Oh.
667
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:04,923
Do you... do you want me to call
668
00:21:04,923 --> 00:21:06,591
the girl with the herpes tattoo?
669
00:21:06,591 --> 00:21:08,359
- No.
- Okay.
670
00:21:08,429 --> 00:21:09,964
Well, we're out of vessels,
671
00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:14,102
and we're out of drugs, so...
672
00:21:14,102 --> 00:21:15,603
Maybe Father Michael was right?
673
00:21:15,603 --> 00:21:17,705
Maybe I should be saving myself for you.
674
00:21:17,705 --> 00:21:18,907
What, for marriage?
675
00:21:18,907 --> 00:21:20,909
No, no, no, for death.
676
00:21:20,909 --> 00:21:21,876
I mean check me out,
677
00:21:21,876 --> 00:21:22,710
I don't think I have
678
00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:24,479
much longer to go.
679
00:21:24,479 --> 00:21:26,948
680
00:21:26,948 --> 00:21:29,417
Sue, I don't... I don't...
681
00:21:29,417 --> 00:21:32,587
we don't need to have,
like, physical contact
682
00:21:32,587 --> 00:21:34,455
to have a real relationship, right?
683
00:21:34,455 --> 00:21:35,657
I mean, we have a great time together,
684
00:21:35,657 --> 00:21:36,858
we've got each other,
685
00:21:36,858 --> 00:21:37,926
we spend tons of time together.
686
00:21:37,926 --> 00:21:39,527
- Like...
- Totally.
687
00:21:39,527 --> 00:21:40,995
Sex would be awesome,
688
00:21:40,995 --> 00:21:43,631
but we don't, like, need it, right?
689
00:21:43,631 --> 00:21:44,866
Oh, right.
690
00:21:44,866 --> 00:21:46,000
That makes sense, right?
691
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:46,935
Sure.
692
00:21:46,935 --> 00:21:48,002
Yeah.
693
00:21:48,002 --> 00:21:50,405
694
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,840
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
695
00:21:56,890 --> 00:22:01,440
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
44570
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
