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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:21,730 - 'Hey, Dylan.' - Why've you got your coat on? 2 00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,090 Are you naked underneath? 3 00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:24,490 'Look, we need to talk.' 4 00:00:24,540 --> 00:00:26,850 Oh, yeah, we're going to talk all right. 5 00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:30,090 'Dylan, this isn't going to be easy to say. 6 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:31,770 - 'You're dumped.' - What?! 7 00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:34,250 - 'I've met someone else.' - Who?! 8 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:36,610 'A guy at uni. You'd like him, actually.' 9 00:00:36,660 --> 00:00:38,330 Well, I fucking doubt it! 10 00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:39,930 Why are you doing this? 11 00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:42,170 'I don't know, maybe he's just better than you'. 12 00:00:42,220 --> 00:00:45,970 - What, you mean, sex-wise? - 'Well, yeah. But also generally.' 13 00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:48,610 This is the worst wank ever. 14 00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,290 - 'Ready, babe? - 'Yeah, almost done.' 15 00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:52,010 He's there?! In the room with you? 16 00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:53,930 That is it! 17 00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:55,490 Right, Zoe, I'm going to go out tonight 18 00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:59,440 and I'm going to pull so many girls and I'm going to bang... 19 00:01:08,140 --> 00:01:11,690 Work weekend. I hope it's not bloody paintballing again. 20 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:14,010 Bryony from head office has got it in for me 21 00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:15,970 and those pellets really smart. 22 00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:19,170 Dylan, you have only been there for three weeks. 23 00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:20,970 No, I don't think it's been a good innings. 24 00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,690 And don't use cricketing terminology to try and get round me. 25 00:01:23,740 --> 00:01:28,650 - Look, just don't do anything stupid. I'll call you back. - What's happened? 26 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:31,130 It's Dylan. He wants to drop out of university. 27 00:01:31,180 --> 00:01:32,170 What?! 28 00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:33,490 He's only been there a month. 29 00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:35,730 I know. And what a lovely month it's been. 30 00:01:35,780 --> 00:01:36,930 Oh, well. 31 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:40,610 If he doesn't like it. He's never been at home in academia, Ken. 32 00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:44,090 He's not in academia, Lorna. He's doing media studies. 33 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:46,970 And besides, university is about more than that. 34 00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:49,330 It's about Dylan discovering himself as a person, 35 00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,650 whilst not living in MY house. 36 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:53,330 It's not the end of the world, Dad. I never went to uni. 37 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:56,980 - Yeah, look what happened here. - Oh, what DID happen? 38 00:01:57,580 --> 00:02:01,130 You became a lovely, rounded young lady, 39 00:02:01,180 --> 00:02:03,570 with a worthy job in charity. 40 00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:06,930 Hoo-hoo! Great run, Dale! Morning, guys. 41 00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:08,970 Dylan's not like you. Someone's going to have to go 42 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:10,370 and talk the toerag into staying. 43 00:02:10,420 --> 00:02:12,290 Well, you'll have to go down to the university. 44 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:16,090 I'm busy team building with some people I've known for over ten years. 45 00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:17,490 Oh, very well -- once again, 46 00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:20,410 - I will shoulder the burden of responsible parenting. - Good. 47 00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:23,090 I'm just going to go and say goodbye to my little Siddle-diddle. 48 00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:26,650 Wait. You're going to visit Dylan at university? I want to come. 49 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:29,450 Well, you can't. It's going to be tricky situation, so... 50 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:32,410 - Well, I'll help out. And I won't take no as an answer! - No? 51 00:02:32,460 --> 00:02:35,130 - What if it's a really firm no? - Won't take it! 52 00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:39,740 - I might try anyway, see how I get on. No. - I'm still coming! 53 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:49,290 - Hi. - Hi. - I've always wanted to see a university. 54 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,610 - What do people usually wear? - Are you sure you want to go? 55 00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:54,490 I'm looking after Baby Sid on my own today. Quite a handful. 56 00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:56,490 Which Frisbee should I bring, red or yellow? 57 00:02:56,540 --> 00:03:00,330 - I mean, you could stay and help me out. - And miss out on university? 58 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,410 No thanks! 59 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,410 Because otherwise it's just going to be me... 60 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:06,090 on my own... 61 00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:08,450 in the house. 62 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,490 Could get pretty boring. 63 00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:12,770 Well, then, I'll definitely go with Chief Ken! 64 00:03:12,820 --> 00:03:14,890 OK, fine, suit yourself. 65 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:19,250 Oh -- students wear ties, hats and blazers, but only on Fridays. 66 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:22,300 - Today's Friday. - Yes, it is. - Oh, thanks! 67 00:03:30,180 --> 00:03:32,050 Did you go to university, Chief Ken? 68 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:35,130 Yes, I did. And back in the days when it meant something. 69 00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:38,090 Not like these days, when kids leave with a 30 grand debt 70 00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:41,890 - and a degree in golf course management. - They have golf courses?! 71 00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:45,770 - That's amazing. - Had some of the best days of my life at university. 72 00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:47,810 Getting drunk with pretty girls, 73 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:51,290 banging on about the miners' strike and how much I hated Thatcher. 74 00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:54,260 - Thatcher? Who's he? - Never mind. 75 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:58,170 You're so smart. 76 00:03:58,220 --> 00:03:59,850 Which is weird, cos if Dylan drops out, 77 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:01,890 then none of your kids will have gone to university. 78 00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:02,970 Oh, God! 79 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,050 - Except for Sid, of course. - Ah. 80 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,890 By the time he's old enough, who knows if you'll even be alive? 81 00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:10,210 Yeah, all right. Can you take those clothes off now? 82 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:11,930 You look like Jimmy Krankie. 83 00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:13,920 - Is that bad? - Yes. 84 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,720 - Worse than Thatcher? - Er... 85 00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:20,660 No. 86 00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:26,770 Oh! 87 00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:30,010 Oh, come on, you bastard. Oh! Come on! 88 00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:38,370 - Guten Morgen, meine Rachel! - Ben! I was just heading out. 89 00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:40,330 I was just dropping this round for your dad. 90 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:44,130 - I have had a letter published in the Solicitors Journal. - Well done. 91 00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:45,450 Well, it's nothing really, 92 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,610 just a few lines about a minor factual error. 93 00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:50,450 Page 17, if you're interested. I've marked it with a yellow tab 94 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:53,090 - and, er, circled it in red. - Oh, great, thanks. 95 00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:55,370 You don't know anything about pushchairs, do you? 96 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,410 - This one's jammed. - Well, let me have a look. 97 00:04:58,460 --> 00:05:01,450 Ah, the Dual Cotterill. Good unit. 98 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:02,970 I used to browse round Mothercare 99 00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:05,690 back when I thought you and I might... 100 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:08,850 Never mind. There is a safety catch here. 101 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:12,450 And then it just... clicks out. 102 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,370 Oh, brilliant! 103 00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:17,930 Now I've just got to push him round Tesco's and get loads of stuff. 104 00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:20,890 Mum's gone away, Dad and Dale are off to see Dylan 105 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,810 and I'm left on my own. 106 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:24,730 Er, incredible idea alert. 107 00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,730 Why don't you stay here and I go do the shopping? 108 00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:30,250 - Oh, bit of a hassle. - Not for Bestie Ben! 109 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,450 I'll get everything you need 110 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:33,410 and maybe pick us up something nice for dinner. 111 00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:37,410 - Oh, Ben, you're amazing. - Yes, I am. 112 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:40,960 - OK. Bye-bye, Sid! - "Bye-bye, Ben!" - See you later. 113 00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:46,580 Oh, that was nice of Uncle Ben, wasn't it? Come on, Sid. 114 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:59,930 - OK. When we find Dylan, let me do the talking, all right? - Why? 115 00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,090 I'm super persuasive. 116 00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:04,010 Yes. We're not going to kidnap him or cut his thumbs off, are we, Dale? 117 00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:05,530 As much as he probably deserves it. 118 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:07,450 OK. Maybe just slap him a little. 119 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,540 No! We're going to be firm but fair, all right? 120 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,820 Oh... 121 00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:17,770 Please can you move your car? 122 00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:22,060 - Sorry, what? - I said, can you move your car? - Can I move my car? 123 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:26,650 - Well, there's plenty of spaces. - That space is for electric vehicles. 124 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:29,610 - Sorry, it's for what? - Electric vehicles! 125 00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:31,370 Electric vehicles? 126 00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:33,690 It's not very clearly marked. 127 00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:39,210 Maybe I'll leave my car where it is. 128 00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:41,650 Well, maybe I'll call the clamping firm. 129 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:46,010 - Is this a university or a prison? - Thatcher! - Well said, Dale. 130 00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:49,360 - Jimmy Krankie! - Not as relevant, but still good. 131 00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:52,820 Fine. I'll move. 132 00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:08,250 Dylan, I know you're in there. 133 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,770 I can hear your music! 134 00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:13,050 Ah. 135 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,840 Sneaky AND stupid. Terrible combination. 136 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,640 Do you have a credit card? 137 00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:25,680 I learned this lock-picking technique when I was in jail. 138 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,140 All right. 139 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,370 - That'll work. - Yeah. 140 00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:39,640 - What the fuck?! - I can never remember what THAT's for. 141 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,930 Right, young man, we need to talk. 142 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:44,010 Leave me alone. I know what you're going to say, 143 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:45,210 but you don't understand. 144 00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:48,260 - I hate it here. - Should I slap him? - No! 145 00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,180 Dylan... 146 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:57,410 University is a really important time in a young person's life. 147 00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:59,890 - I just don't want you to miss out. - God, you're such a dick! 148 00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:01,570 - Dale, slap him. - Face or neck? 149 00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:05,320 Fine, then, I'll get the train home, but leave me alone! 150 00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:09,530 Are you...? Are you crying?! 151 00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:13,570 - Oh, is it because of the door? - No, you twat, it's because of Zoe! 152 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,690 She dumped me and now she's seeing this other guy. 153 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:18,530 - Oh. - I know it sounds lame, but I really love the bitch. 154 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,210 Oh, God, I'm so depressed! 155 00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:22,450 Listen, love. The thing is... 156 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,540 Hey... I got this. 157 00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:28,100 Hey, Dilly. Look here. 158 00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:33,050 Zoe is with another guy now. 159 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:36,530 And they did just get together, so you have two understand 160 00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:39,810 that at this moment, they're pretty busy intercoursing often. 161 00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:41,890 Oh, God! 162 00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:45,010 Dale, maybe go and explore the campus for a bit. 163 00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:47,850 - Maybe find that golf course? - Maybe find that golf course. 164 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:50,130 I'm going to find it! 165 00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:52,890 Look, Dad, it's not just Zoe, OK? It's everything -- 166 00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:55,450 this place, the people, the courses. 167 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,490 I've tried, Dad, I've tried so hard, I promise. 168 00:08:57,540 --> 00:08:59,210 But, I mean... 169 00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:02,220 it's like you said, media studies is shit. 170 00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:08,420 All right. But you're getting a job and you're paying rent. 171 00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:10,860 Deal. 172 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:16,530 University's such a rip-off. 173 00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,580 I mean, you pay nine grand and you get this. 174 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,850 (Nine grand. Shit!) 175 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,170 But, um, thanks for putting me first, Dad. 176 00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:27,970 Hey. Come on, you're my son. 177 00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:30,620 Nothing is more important than that. 178 00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:33,940 Just out of interest, who does look after the money here? 179 00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:38,450 I'm so sorry about that little misunderstanding earlier. 180 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,930 I was very tired after a long drive. 181 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,780 (Although it was rather... inconvenient.) 182 00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:46,970 OK. I just wanted to clarify something. 183 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:50,370 My son, Dylan Thompson, he's going to be dropping out. 184 00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:52,970 (I'm sorry to hear that. We'll miss him.) 185 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:56,140 I'm sorry, do you mind if I move a bit closer? I'm struggling to... 186 00:09:57,860 --> 00:10:00,250 So it's just the small matter of the tuition fees 187 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,650 and when they would be refunded. 188 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,660 (Oh. Let's have a look.) 189 00:10:08,420 --> 00:10:10,170 Hm. 190 00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:11,850 - Never. - What?! 191 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,730 They're non-refundable. 192 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:17,570 He's been here for one month and I paid �9,000, so 193 00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,930 give me 8,500 and we'll call it quits. 194 00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:22,610 Non-refundable. And non-negotiable. 195 00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:25,000 But I've told him he can leave. 196 00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,420 All right, eight grand. Final offer. 197 00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:32,300 Thank you. You're printing me a receipt. 198 00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:37,010 Clause 17 on the fees contract. Zero refunds. 199 00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:39,010 Dylan is a bright boy 200 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:43,010 and this university has failed to stimulate his keen mind. 201 00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:46,500 - According to our files, he hasn't been to a single lecture. - What?! 202 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,300 OK... 203 00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:00,380 I'm a lawyer. 204 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:05,130 And I'm going to tell you something just once. 205 00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:09,370 If I walk out of that door without the tuition fees, 206 00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:13,370 there will be... serious consequences. 207 00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:15,220 (Mm-hm?) 208 00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:17,520 Mm-hm... 209 00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:23,440 OK. 210 00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:33,010 Very well. 211 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,060 You leave me no choice. 212 00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:41,300 7,500 grand, final offer. 213 00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:47,850 There you are! 214 00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:52,970 Here's dinner, and until then I have an array of Iberian hams... 215 00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:56,970 - Ooh... - .. and some dip-worthy snacks. - Oh, Ben, this is amazing. 216 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,450 - Let me go and get you some money. - No, no, it's on me. 217 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,450 I thought, "Hey, we're stuck indoors, 218 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,370 "might as well make the best of it." You know -- 219 00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:07,450 two besties, some wine and a boxset. Be like old times, eh? 220 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,610 - Did you get changed? - Yeah, I bought a couple of things while I was out. 221 00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:12,930 - Shirt and some shoes. - And aftershave? 222 00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:16,300 - Yeah. Do you like it? - It's quite strong, isn't it? - I know! 223 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:21,580 Oh, I loved that. 224 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:26,170 - Look at Sid. He's still bouncing. - Mm. 225 00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:28,290 Have you been going to the gym? 226 00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:31,930 You know -- single man, got standards to keep up. 227 00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:34,450 Actually, what HAS been happening with your romantic life? 228 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,130 Because you've kept your cards very close to your chest. 229 00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:38,610 Oh, er, OK. 230 00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:43,050 - Well, there's been a variety of girls... - Mm. - .. all really smoking. 231 00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:47,090 I'm just not sure I'm... ready to get into a relationship, you know? 232 00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:49,170 However much they plead. 233 00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:51,850 Whoever you'll choose, they'll be a very lucky girl. 234 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,490 - Think we should have that food, then. - Hell, yeah! 235 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,850 - I'll pop it in the microwave. - OK. 236 00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:00,170 Oh -- Mum gave me 40 quid for the shopping. 237 00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:02,570 - Please take it. - No way, best-ay! 238 00:13:02,620 --> 00:13:05,650 OK, well, I'm putting the money in your wallet, is it in your coat? 239 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:09,050 - Do not go near my coat! - Oh, what's that? 240 00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,700 Don't open it. 241 00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:13,490 Oh, the engagement ring. 242 00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:15,300 It's, erm... 243 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:21,210 I keep it on me when I see you, just in case. 244 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:25,140 So I mean, when you said we were past all that old stuff, you... 245 00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:30,330 Oh, listen. Sid's fine. Erm... 246 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:34,060 And thanks for getting all the dinner and everything. It's lovely. 247 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:38,380 Yeah. OK. 248 00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:40,970 Oh, the ready meal. 249 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,930 Don't forget to pierce the film before you put it in the microwave. 250 00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:47,340 - OK. - Can I have my ring back, please? - Oh, yeah. 251 00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,170 Erm... 252 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:52,010 - Oh, shit. - What? 253 00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:54,770 - Well, I can't see the ring. - Well, what do you mean? 254 00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:57,130 Oh, God, it must have fallen onto him. 255 00:13:57,180 --> 00:14:00,370 - Oh...! OK. I think Sid might have swallowed it. - Oh, God! 256 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,970 Oh... Ben, what do we do? 257 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:05,850 I don't know. I mean, I could try and claim on the contents insurance 258 00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:08,370 - but there'd be a hell of an excess to pay. - What?! 259 00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:12,330 - Oh, God, and now I have a nosebleed. Argh! - Come on, Siddie... 260 00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,060 Oh, God. 261 00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:20,650 OK. Slight change of plan. 262 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:23,610 Instead of leaving university, you are in fact now staying. 263 00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:25,010 What?! Why? 264 00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:27,530 Look, Dylan. I... 265 00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:30,090 I just hate for you to throw away a perfectly good career 266 00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:32,450 - in media studies. - You didn't get your money back, did you? 267 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,610 Look, I don't want to get all draconian about it, right, 268 00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,570 but I pay nine grand for you to be here, 269 00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:39,050 so I essentially own you for at least one year. 270 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:42,890 - Well, that's slavery. - Yes. Well, maybe slavery isn't that bad. 271 00:14:42,940 --> 00:14:45,410 Think of all the music it gave us. 272 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,730 Come on, Dylan. Give this place another chance. 273 00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:51,490 Only came to uni to have a laugh. It's just so lame here. 274 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:54,050 It's full of sad twats and international students. 275 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:57,860 All they have is a library, a shit bar and... and a pond full of geese. 276 00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:01,610 - They're ducks, mate. - Oh, God, you're always criticising me. 277 00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:05,530 Look, Dylan! University's amazing. 278 00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:10,050 Think of all the parties, and the protest marches... 279 00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,890 Yeah, OK, forget the protest marches. 280 00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:16,010 - There'll be someone here for you to have a laugh with. - Hey, guys! 281 00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:19,010 Want to come and play Frisbee with us? Heads up, Nathan! 282 00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:20,490 Oh! You OK? 283 00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:22,610 Look, Dad, I'm telling you, this is the lamest place ever. 284 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,450 Don't be a quitter. 285 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,610 Hey. Let's go and have a pint in the student union bar. 286 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,130 That's where all the laughs start. 287 00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:38,930 See? This place isn't too bad. 288 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,530 I'm sure it'll pick up later. 289 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:43,380 No, it won't. This is as good as it gets. 290 00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:46,490 Where's the band posters? 291 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:48,410 Where's the guy selling the Socialist Worker? 292 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,570 Where's the 10p-a-pint signs? 293 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,970 Last week they actually had a talk about alcohol awareness. 294 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,660 Unbelievable! 295 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:57,860 Is that kid doing an essay? 296 00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:01,770 - There's not even any graffiti in the bogs. - What? 297 00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:04,930 - There's got to be an anarchy sign or a badly drawn cock and balls? - No. 298 00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:06,530 Well, this place is a disgrace. 299 00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:08,210 Woo-hoo! 300 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:11,930 I love university! I've made so many friends. 301 00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:15,450 - See? - Guys, this is Charlie. 302 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,090 Nathan and I were playing Frisbee and Charlie joined in... 303 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:20,050 - uh, what's that word again? - Ironically. 304 00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:23,050 .. Ironically. So we played ironic Frisbee together. 305 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:26,010 Right! Good. Would you sit down, Charlie, join us? 306 00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,410 No-one really drinks in here. 307 00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:30,810 No-one that I know anyway. I'm going to a party at Ottley House. 308 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:33,410 - Oh, where's that? - You haven't heard of Ottley House? 309 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,970 Oh, no. No, yeah. I've heard of it, obviously. 310 00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:37,690 I was, um... I was being ironic. 311 00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:39,690 She loves that! 312 00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:43,490 Well, the party's going to be pretty messed up, you should come. 313 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,540 Bring your grandad too. 314 00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:49,930 Did you eat something naughty? 315 00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:53,930 Did your bad, bad sister feed you something naughty? 316 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:57,050 - I didn't strictly feed it to him. - Of course not! 317 00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:01,050 But in future you should know feeding babies metal jewellery 318 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,850 is considered bad parenting. 319 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:05,210 - Yeah. I knew. - "Knew". 320 00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:08,210 Well, not to worry. He'll poo it out in a few hours. 321 00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,690 - You'll soon have your engagement ring back. - Great! 322 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:14,450 - But it's not actually my engagement ring. - Well, it sort of is. 323 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:18,170 - We were engaged and... it was the ring. - We weren't, I said no. 324 00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:21,490 Well, you said yes first. Ten seconds, it still counts. 325 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,370 OK! 326 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,730 Well -- as this isn't a medical issue, I have no comment. 327 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:30,250 - Unless... How old are you? - 24. 328 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,610 Because statistically, if you haven't met your husband by 25 329 00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:36,210 you won't marry till 29, and childbirth after 30 330 00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:38,490 puts a massive strain on the NHS. 331 00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:41,050 So if I DID have to advise you medically... 332 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,040 Have a think about it. 333 00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:47,810 "Should your sister have said yes? Should she? 334 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:51,900 "He looks nice enough. Handsome. 335 00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:54,410 "Should she be more realistic?" 336 00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:56,860 - OK... - "I think she should." 337 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:12,810 - Hey. - Hey! Have you guys got any booze? We're running low. 338 00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:15,130 In luck! Old guy does. 339 00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:17,770 Now, this is more like it. 340 00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:20,020 Hey, guys. We've got booze! 341 00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:23,460 I got Frisbee! 342 00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:33,610 - That's what a credit card's for. - I'm learning so much at university! 343 00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:35,610 We're going to leave you to it. 344 00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:37,330 Yeah, nice one. 345 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,530 Hey, Dad. 346 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:42,650 I thought you were going to be a right dick about today, 347 00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:46,370 but you were only half as much of a dick as I thought you'd be. 348 00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:49,500 - Thank you, Dylan. - Stay for a beer if you like. 349 00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:54,500 No. You don't want me hanging around cramping your style. 350 00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,770 Again! 351 00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:29,140 OK, Siddie, let's have a little look at you. 352 00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:33,370 No. Still no joy. 353 00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:35,610 All right, then. All right. 354 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:38,300 Oh... Let's warm you up some milk. 355 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,690 You OK? 356 00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:53,700 Yeah. 357 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:57,810 Ben, I worry, being friends with me 358 00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:02,370 maybe... it's not the best thing for you at the moment. 359 00:20:02,420 --> 00:20:05,540 - No, no, it IS the best thing. - Will you be honest for a sec? 360 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,650 It's just so ridiculous. 361 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:12,290 Dale's in love with this... Ling woman, you're in love with Dale 362 00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,020 and I'm in... 363 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,850 Oh, God. 364 00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:19,500 You're right. 365 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:25,690 Maybe we should all... have a fresh start and move on. 366 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:29,730 The trouble with moving on is... you don't know what's round the corner. 367 00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:34,780 There could be a hairpin bend. Or a new boyfriend who REALLY hurts you. 368 00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:39,330 Sometimes, when you're moving on, you've got to go into reverse 369 00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:40,850 and back up a little. 370 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,490 And as you're backing up, 371 00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:46,370 you might be worried you're going over old ground, but 372 00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:49,530 actually it's the best thing you could possibly do. 373 00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:51,650 Because the old ground 374 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,840 is safe... and reliable... 375 00:20:54,780 --> 00:20:56,570 .. thinks you're beautiful. 376 00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:58,370 Ben... 377 00:20:58,420 --> 00:21:02,220 The old ground will never... hurt you or leave you. 378 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:05,850 It'll just be glad that you're, you know... 379 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:08,380 driving over it again. 380 00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:16,570 - Ooh, gosh, can you smell that? - Yeah, I think I can. 381 00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:18,330 Ooh! 382 00:21:18,380 --> 00:21:23,050 - I think we have success, baby Sid. - Yeah! - Oh...! - A bit too much. 383 00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:24,090 - Eurgh. - Eurgh. 384 00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:26,610 - Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! - Out, out, out! 385 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:29,490 - Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! - Out, out, out! 386 00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:30,690 - Maggie! - Out! 387 00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:31,770 - Maggie! - Out! 388 00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:34,410 - Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! - Out, out, out! 389 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:38,490 - Your dad is wicked. - Mm-hm. 390 00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:41,650 Folks, seriously... I've got another one for you guys, 391 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:42,970 see if you can join along. 392 00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:45,050 This is a little number... 393 00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:47,130 by a Mr Billy Bragg. 394 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:49,650 Come in with me when you're ready. 395 00:21:51,140 --> 00:21:54,210 ? I was a miner 396 00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:57,570 ? I was a docker 397 00:21:57,620 --> 00:22:02,450 ? I was a railway man Between the wars... ? 398 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:03,530 Let's go. 399 00:22:03,580 --> 00:22:05,690 ? I was a miner... ? 400 00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,170 He was a miner! 401 00:22:07,220 --> 00:22:10,050 - ? I was a docker... ? - Docker! 402 00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:13,650 ? .. a railway man Between the wars... ? 403 00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:16,370 - Mother-frickin' wars! - Let's go... 404 00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:21,730 - Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! - Out, out, out! 405 00:22:21,780 --> 00:22:24,330 - Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! - Out, out, out! 406 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,690 - Maggie! - Out! 407 00:22:25,740 --> 00:22:27,450 - You can't be in here... - Maggie! - Out! 408 00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:29,890 - Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! - Out, out, out! 409 00:22:29,940 --> 00:22:32,810 - Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! - Out, out, out! 410 00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:38,610 You... can't be in here. This room is a fire risk, 411 00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:41,890 - you must all leave immediately. - Oh, come on, 412 00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:45,730 - they're just trying to have a bit of fun. - The party's over. 413 00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:48,050 Everyone, please leave. 414 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,810 You square. 415 00:22:49,860 --> 00:22:51,970 - Thatcher! - Yes, Dale. 416 00:22:52,020 --> 00:22:55,090 Aren't you... a bit old for this kind of thing? 417 00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:59,890 I am not going to take a lecture... from the likes of you. 418 00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:01,850 (Bollocks.) 419 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:04,640 Well, I can see where he gets THAT from. 420 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:08,900 Guys...? Guys, wait! 421 00:23:09,940 --> 00:23:11,170 I can see you all want to go, 422 00:23:11,220 --> 00:23:13,850 and you think the party's over... 423 00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:17,050 but before you do I want to say a couple things. 424 00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,300 OK? 425 00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:25,490 All it takes for evil to flourish is for a few good men to say nothing. 426 00:23:25,540 --> 00:23:29,770 We have to show that supercilious bell-end 427 00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:32,650 that we will NOT be pushed around by the Man. 428 00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:34,930 All right? 429 00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,490 We must fight... the might... of the system! 430 00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:39,370 WHO'S WITH HIM?! 431 00:23:39,420 --> 00:23:41,090 WHO'S WITH ME?! 432 00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:44,410 OK. 433 00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:46,010 I'll be honest... 434 00:23:46,060 --> 00:23:48,860 I'm a little disappointed by the turnout. 435 00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:50,690 OK, Dad, what's the plan? 436 00:23:50,740 --> 00:23:53,530 The plan... is we're going to teach that smug little twat 437 00:23:53,580 --> 00:23:55,650 a lesson he won't forget. 438 00:23:56,580 --> 00:24:00,930 - The old classic. We're going to turn his car on its roof. - No, Dad, stop. 439 00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:06,170 - Dylan...! - What if we pick it up, and... move it over there? 440 00:24:06,220 --> 00:24:07,960 Onto the island. 441 00:24:09,540 --> 00:24:12,450 You are a chip off the old block! OK, boys, 442 00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:15,370 let's put this prick's car on the island! 443 00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:18,210 Wait, Chief Ken... This is all allowed at university? 444 00:24:18,260 --> 00:24:20,370 It's totally fine. 445 00:24:20,420 --> 00:24:21,730 Dad, come on! 446 00:24:21,780 --> 00:24:24,570 OK, boys. Three, two, one. 447 00:24:24,620 --> 00:24:26,500 Heave! 448 00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:31,180 - Oh, he's going to shit when he sees this! - Hi, Mr Duck! 449 00:24:32,660 --> 00:24:36,220 We can do this, guys, come on... 450 00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,170 Onto the island she goes! 451 00:24:41,220 --> 00:24:42,570 Yes! 452 00:24:42,620 --> 00:24:48,220 OK, boys. One last heave. One, two, three... 453 00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:52,170 Yes, Dad! I am DEFINTELY staying at university! 454 00:24:52,220 --> 00:24:54,160 So proud of you, son. 455 00:25:05,740 --> 00:25:08,380 Oh, no! Oh...! 456 00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:14,900 Final offer -- five grand. 457 00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:21,210 I can't believe they kicked me out. Why did you make me do that? 458 00:25:21,260 --> 00:25:22,890 You're an adult now, Dylan, 459 00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:25,490 and as an adult, we take responsibility for our own actions. 460 00:25:25,540 --> 00:25:27,570 That said -- don't tell your mother. 461 00:25:27,620 --> 00:25:29,330 I can still smell burning duck. 462 00:25:29,380 --> 00:25:31,890 Yeah. It'll take me a while till I have a Chinese. 463 00:25:31,940 --> 00:25:34,730 Still, university was great, wasn't it? 464 00:25:34,780 --> 00:25:36,650 Can we go back EVERY weekend? 465 00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:39,650 - You are such a fucktard. - Dylan. That's enough. 466 00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:42,490 No, it's OK, Chief Ken. He was just being ironic. 467 00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:46,370 Like me saying, "It's NOT going to be great to have you home again, bro!" 468 00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:49,570 Oh, yeah -- I'm not getting a job, by the way. I'm going travelling. 469 00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:51,570 Oh, yeah? And who's going to be paying for that? 470 00:25:51,620 --> 00:25:53,730 Well -- you are, or I'll tell Mum. 471 00:25:53,780 --> 00:25:55,290 - Dale? - On it. 472 00:25:55,340 --> 00:25:56,860 Ow! 473 00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:02,220 Welcome home, son. 474 00:26:03,660 --> 00:26:05,730 OK, here we go, Chief Ken! 475 00:26:05,780 --> 00:26:07,970 - ? I was a miner... ? - Woo! 476 00:26:08,020 --> 00:26:10,210 - ? I was a docker... ? - Docker! 477 00:26:10,260 --> 00:26:14,130 ? I was a railway man Between the wars... ? 478 00:26:14,180 --> 00:26:15,290 Your go, Mr Bragg! 479 00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:19,650 ? I raised a family In time of austerity 480 00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:23,450 ? With sweat at the foundry Between the wars 481 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,570 ? Between the wars These mother-freakin' wars 482 00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:29,170 ? What are we killing for? Just got to love some more, Chief Ken. ? 483 00:26:29,220 --> 00:26:32,740 - Was that somebody bloody rapping?! - Oh, I'm so sorry, Billy. 484 00:26:32,790 --> 00:26:37,340 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38416

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