Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:07,940
- Morning. - Morning.
- Good morning.
2
00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:09,990
Yay, it's sunny outside.
outside.
3
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:12,110
Dale, what are you doing?
4
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,750
I got really cold during the night
5
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:15,990
and you guys are
so warm and snuggly.
6
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,430
Are you...naked?
7
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,390
Yeah, I always sleep naked.
8
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,440
Your penis is on my leg.
9
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,120
Got it.
10
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:43,190
DALE GIGGLES
This has been amazing, Chief Ken.
11
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,270
What was the name
of that magical place?
12
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:46,470
B&Q.
13
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,430
B and Q?
14
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:52,910
I will never get used to your exotic
names and strange customs.
15
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,790
Yes, while we're on that,
16
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,270
in our culture we respect
each other's privacy.
17
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,190
Sleep in our own beds.
18
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,150
And we don't
put our genitals on people.
19
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,550
Not without being asked.
20
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,830
Understood. Wise counsel, Chief Ken.
21
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,190
You know, you should probably
stop calling me that.
22
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,280
Why, Chief Ken?
23
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,000
Actually, whatever. God, I'm hungry.
24
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,030
STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!
25
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,270
What is it?
26
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:21,030
Food. Dale,
I could've killed someone.
27
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,790
I know but you said you were hungry
28
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,040
and they have
the world's best kebabs.
29
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,070
Lorna's got me on a diet.
30
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,990
What she doesn't realise is tall
people have a very high metabolism.
31
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,030
They've done studies on it
and everything.
32
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,960
I bet it's actually dangerous for me
to be on a diet.
33
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,790
OK, I'll have one small doner
with no chilli sauce.
34
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,790
But just to be clear, Lorna does not
need to know about this.
35
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,350
OK.
36
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,710
OK?
37
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,840
Yes, loud and clear.
38
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,550
MUSIC: "My Silver Lining"
by First Aid Kit
39
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,590
KNOCKING ON DOOR
Hiya.
40
00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,670
Hello.
41
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,270
Do you mind if I turn the music
down?
42
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,670
There's something I want to say.
43
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,000
Yeah, of course.
44
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:10,430
It's about Dale.
Actually it's still a bit loud.
45
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:14,110
HE TURNS IT DOWN AGAIN
Erm, yeah, Dale is...
46
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,710
You know what,
I'm just going to turn it off. Yeah.
47
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,550
Erm, Rachel, I like Dale,
48
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,310
I think he's a good bloke.
49
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,870
I just worry he's a bit mixed up.
50
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,710
He was brought up
in a cult, wasn't he?
51
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:31,590
Rach, he's obviously got some sort
of weird crush on you.
52
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,750
What?! Don't be daft.
53
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,510
Rach, he climbed into your bed,
54
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,190
he follows you around like a dog.
55
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,790
He let you see him in the bath.
56
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,070
Only once. Well,
that's once more than I have.
57
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,550
Look, it's not his fault,
58
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,110
he just doesn't know
any other girls his own age.
59
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:52,430
But I'm thinking maybe
we should introduce him to someone.
60
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,230
Well, yeah, I mean
if you can think of anyone.
61
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,870
What about your friend Natalie?
I mean, she's gorgeous.
62
00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,550
She is not gorgeous.
63
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,910
What are you talking about?
She's stunning. Total knockout.
64
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,950
When I first saw her...
Yeah, got it. Stop now.
65
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,710
Anyway, she's just broken up
with her boyfriend,
66
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,710
she's on the lookout,
why don't you give her a call?
67
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,160
Yeah, why not?
It's a great idea, Ben.
68
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,840
I'm home. Shit!
69
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,510
Ken!
70
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,390
I was just about to get
my glad rags on. Why?
71
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,240
Drinks at Connie and Steve's.
I'm sure I told you.
72
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,710
Forgive my intrusion, Chief Ken.
I am entering the room.
73
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,910
Oh... Dale, what you doing?
74
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,750
I'm respecting your privacy.
75
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,910
May I have the screwdriver
we got at B and Q today?
76
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,990
I'm going to fix the kitchen lights.
77
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,590
You can open your eyes now, Dale.
78
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,710
And when you're done,
79
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,390
if you're hungry there's some
lasagne in the fridge.
80
00:03:58,440 --> 00:03:59,710
Thank you but I'm OK,
81
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,590
me and Ken had a triple shawarma
with everything.
82
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,790
Onions, chilli sauce,
huge bag of fries.
83
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,790
I couldn't finish mine
but old hollow legs over here, he had 'em both.
84
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,790
Ken, you didn't have a kebab? No.
85
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,870
Two of 'em.
You're supposed to be on a diet!
86
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,030
You looked me in the eye
and promised me you'd eat healthily.
87
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,430
I had salad with it.
And a Snickers.
88
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:20,950
Dale, stop talking!
89
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,510
Well, I have to say,
I am very disappointed.
90
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,200
Lorn. Lorn!
91
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:29,600
Thank you.
92
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,470
Hah, you blinked. What?
93
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,230
We're having a staring contest,
right? No!
94
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:57,590
I'm waiting for you to explain to me
why you told Lorna about the kebab.
95
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,950
Oh, she asked if I was hungry.
96
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,430
look, I know your upbringing
was slightly unusual,
97
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,030
but you must have had to lie before.
No way, Chief Ken.
98
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,070
I was taught that lying
makes your nuts fall off.
99
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,110
That's why I never lied, look.
100
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,470
Uh, look, I believe you.
101
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,270
I'm not saying lying is good,
102
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,590
I just think sometimes
it's necessary.
103
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,950
Like...like when Lorna asks me
whether
104
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,670
Dylan will be able to get a job
with his media studies degree,
105
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,150
I say yes.
106
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,270
What I mean of course is no,
he'll be living with us till he's 60.
107
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,670
But I lie so that she doesn't worry.
108
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,310
OK, OK, I got it.
This is a white lie.
109
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,590
Right.
110
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,790
Like with your sheepskin coat. What?
111
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,710
Lorn hid your coat in the garage
but said I shouldn't tell you
112
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:40,310
because if you found out
you'd be, like, super unhappy.
113
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,920
This is outrageous!
114
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,440
Wow. She was right.
115
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:56,960
What?
116
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,320
Oh, the coat?
117
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,110
You'll never guess where I found it.
118
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,350
Go on, guess.
119
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,710
Dylan's room?
120
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,510
No, in the garage.
121
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,230
In a bin bag labelled
"Stuff for Oxfam"
122
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,510
in your handwriting.
123
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,670
So I hate the coat.
124
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,910
Doesn't make me a bad person, Ken.
125
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,830
No, it's lying that makes you
a bad person.
126
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,550
You can talk, Mr Two Kebabs.
127
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,590
OK.
128
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:28,270
Let's just agree to be more honest
with each other from now on, OK?
129
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,600
OK.
130
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,150
I broke your Pilates DVD.
131
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,230
I got a parking ticket last week.
132
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,870
When you were at your book group
I ate a whole slab of Stilton.
133
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,990
Wow. I know.
134
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,790
Speaking of books,
135
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:44,950
you know that one you tried
to write about town planning?
136
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,790
That was rubbish.
137
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,750
Yeah, you never lied about that,
you told me before, twice. Oh, yeah.
138
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:55,230
Anyway, from now on,
let's agree on no more secrets.
139
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,840
OK, deal. Deal.
140
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,510
So, what do you make of this, Lorn?
Lovely.
141
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,430
I don't know much about wine but...
142
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:13,240
it's very fruity and also...red?!
143
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,550
It's from southern Chile.
It's typically South American -
144
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,670
full-bodied, passionate, dangerous.
145
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,710
It's also work shy,
146
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,470
with no sense of personal hygiene.
147
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,270
KEN: So, Steve, how's work?
148
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,470
It's a living hell,
just like my personal life.
149
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,110
Thanks for asking.
150
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,630
I had hoped Steve would cope with
our new arrangement like an adult.
151
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,190
If not for my sake
then for the children.
152
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,150
Good job we only had two.
153
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,550
I wanted more, but Connie's womb
dried up like a cactus.
154
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,510
CONNIE: It takes two to conceive.
155
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,590
Perhaps there was something
wrong at your end.
156
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,790
Nothing wrong with my sperm.
157
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,950
Men like me and Ken are part
of the 500,000,000 club.
158
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,470
Am I right?
159
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,670
KEN: Don't do that.
- Oops! Bad example there,
160
00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,870
Ken's had a vasectomy.
161
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,390
So, Connie, tell me about this wine.
162
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,790
When did he have the snip?
163
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,720
Well, you should know, you dirt
brain. You did the operation! Yes!
164
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,800
HE GIGGLES NERVOUSLY
165
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,320
Remember?
166
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,550
Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
167
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,390
Yeah, must've forgotten.
168
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,190
So many scrota.
169
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,110
They all blur in to one
170
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,870
massive, amorphous ball-sack!
171
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,750
Well can I just say,
you did a fantastic job?
172
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,670
You can't even see a scar.
173
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,350
Almost like it had never been
done(!)
174
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,670
Well, what a lovely evening.
We must go now, though.
175
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,790
I'll bring the car round
the front shall I, Lorn?
176
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,310
Seriously though, it was lovely.
Cheers. Mm!
177
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,400
You said that's fruity, that's dry!
178
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,310
Dale, can we have a word?
179
00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,670
Huh? Yeah, sure. Just don't hit that
light switch over there.
180
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,950
Is this safe?
181
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,470
Totally.
182
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,990
So erm, there's this friend of mine
called Natalie.
183
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:10,190
Who is stunning. Easily the
best-looking girl that I know.
184
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,350
Well, that either of us know.
185
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,390
Anyway, we thought it might be quite
nice if the four of us had dinner.
186
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,190
Plus she's single so... Oh, my God!
187
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,390
A-are you trying
to set me up?
188
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,590
Oh, is that OK? Cos, I mean if it
makes you feel uncomfortable then...
189
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,230
No. No, it's fine.
190
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,710
It's just on the ashram,
they taught us to wait for The One.
191
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,710
Probably don't mention the whole
alien bride thing to Natalie.
192
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,510
She might...
Get jealous. That's a good point.
193
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,470
Here, can you erm,
can you hold that for me?
194
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,750
Put the lights on, you losers!
195
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,150
SHE SCREAMS
196
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,710
Ha-ha! Twat!
197
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:44,880
Oh, boy.
198
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,670
Bloody hell!
199
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,190
Oh, what a tangled web we weave
200
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,870
when first we'd
lie about having a vasectomy.
201
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,270
It wasn't a lie.
202
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,790
It was a temporary
departure from the truth.
203
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,910
So you're going to tell Lorna,
are you?
204
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,110
I just need to find the right
time, that's all.
205
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,790
Until I do,
please don't say anything!
206
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,790
Ken, my friend,
207
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:12,590
I will do you this
favour, but one day,
208
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:17,400
and that day may never come, I will
call on you for a favour in return.
209
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,440
I need a favour.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
210
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,670
What's that? That is what happens
when the nanny state
211
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,670
and political correctness get
drunk on power and have a bastard.
212
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,190
Could you be a little more specific?
213
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,550
I've been accused of gross
medical negligence.
214
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,510
They're taking me to a tribunal.
215
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,830
Well, that is a shame.
But, not my area, I'm afraid.
216
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,030
You'll have to find someone who
specialises in medical malpractice.
217
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,710
To be honest, Ken, you're not
the first lawyer I've seen.
218
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,910
But you are the only lawyer that is
scared I'm going to tell his wife
219
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,600
a secret, so that makes you
Kavanagh QC in my book.
220
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,990
It says here you left a foreign
object inside a patient
221
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,030
during an operation.
222
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,270
It was a pair of cuff links.
One pair!
223
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,670
I am not apologising for the way
I dress.
224
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,590
It's still a very serious
accusation. Is it true?
225
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,960
How do I know? I was drunk.
226
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,990
Well, look. Ethically speaking, I
shouldn't be representing a friend.
227
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,550
Ethically speaking, you shouldn't be
lying to your wife.
228
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,150
Look, this isn't blackmail.
229
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,550
If you don't want to take the case,
just say.
230
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,990
I don't want to take the case.
And that's fine.
231
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,550
But I will be telling Lorna
about your fully-functioning gonads.
232
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,150
And how is that not blackmail?
233
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,350
Oh, you're good.
234
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,600
You are good.
235
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,070
Why's the door open? It's freezing.
236
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,150
Ken, you're back early. I thought
you said you were working late.
237
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,960
I thought I'd do some
work from home.
238
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,230
You've been smoking dope!
No, I haven't.
239
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,720
It smells like Peter Tosh's
tracksuit in here, Lorn.
240
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,150
Don't worry, everyone's out.
241
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,870
The smell usually goes.
242
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,790
How long have you been doing this?
Once a week since Cuckoo left.
243
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,630
Lorna! It's no big deal. I used to do
it pretty much every day at uni.
244
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:27,470
After everything we've said
about being honest with each other.
245
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,160
Come on, it'll help you relax.
246
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,710
You remember what happened last
time I took drugs.
247
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:38,910
Ken, you're at home with your wife.
What's the worst that can happen?
248
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,870
I'm so proud of you.
249
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,040
Oh, I'm so proud of you!
250
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:45,630
Why are you proud of me?
251
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,910
I can't remember
but I definitely am.
252
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,110
Steve!
253
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,510
Steve! I'm proud of you for
defending Steve. Mm?
254
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,670
Connie said that no-one
could get him off,
255
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,910
but you took the case anyway!
256
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,390
Can we talk about something else?
257
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,070
I don't want to
talk about that goblin.
258
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,310
He's been under
a lot of pressure, Ken.
259
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,470
You hear of these doctors being
forced to work 5,000 hours a week
260
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,830
and they crack up.
261
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:12,110
Oh! Brilliant.
262
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,630
Yeah.
263
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:16,990
We should blame the hospital
for Steve being so mental!
264
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,150
Yes!
265
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,920
Got to write this down.
266
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,230
What are you doing?
267
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,350
I don't know!
268
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,870
But it's definitely important.
269
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:33,110
Mm. Mm.
270
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,590
This is amazing.
271
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,510
Amazing. Mm.
272
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,840
Give us a kiss.
273
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:39,920
THEY GIGGLE
274
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,360
Nice cheese.
275
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,430
Do you think I'm fat?
276
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,630
No! Think you're perfect!
277
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,390
I think you're perfect.
278
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,830
I'm so proud of you.
279
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,510
Is it because of the cheese?
280
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,750
No, it was because of something
else.
281
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,550
BOTH: Steve!
282
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,030
Steve.
283
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,270
According to his file,
284
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,030
Steve has had two written
warnings in the past month.
285
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,550
One for parking
in a disabled space
286
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,430
and the other for kissing someone...
287
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,430
Right. Well, that's not too bad.
288
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,550
..who was in a coma.
289
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,350
Ah, the nutter!
290
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,990
Well, we knew he was insane.
291
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,710
But I think I may have found a way
of using that to our advantage.
292
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,270
I'm going to call the hospital
lawyers in for a meeting.
293
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,390
If we can convince them
that Steve is overworked
294
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,670
then maybe we can avoid
the tribunal altogether.
295
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,670
It's a long shot, but I think
it's the best chance we've got.
296
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,750
Ken, you're a bloody genius!
297
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,550
Well... Thanks to you, Steve will
soon be free to practise again
298
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,800
even though he's a drunken,
incompetent fool!
299
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,350
Yeah.
300
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,630
LAUGHTER
301
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,470
Rach, I've not seen you for ages!
302
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,030
The last time was my
non-hen night, I think.
303
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,950
Yeah! That was fun.
304
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,310
I'm so glad you thought so.
305
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,550
But some people thought it
was a bit weird,
306
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,510
going through with it after Toby
called off the wedding,
307
00:14:55,560 --> 00:15:00,150
but, er, my take is, I'm worth it
and he's a lying shit! Ha-ha!
308
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:04,710
Yeah. Erm, Dale here's quite the
sportsman.
309
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:08,230
He does martial arts and
mountain biking and all sorts,
310
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,030
don't you, Dale?
311
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,120
Yes.
312
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,950
I imagine you've got some pretty
interesting stories about that.
313
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,550
Yes.
314
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,880
SHE GIGGLES
315
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,950
Can I have a word with
you in the kitchen? Yeah.
316
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,080
Excuse us.
317
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,400
I...like your face.
318
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,830
(God, this is a car crash!
I told you she wasn't his type.)
319
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,270
She's not that bad.
320
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,990
Are you kidding?
She's doing my head in!
321
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,150
(Rachel, calm down.)
322
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,110
Oh, my goodness. She is amazing!
323
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,110
I mean, I've never met
anybody like her before in my life.
324
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,590
Also, she's finished the wine.
325
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,670
Oh!
326
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,310
More wine, Natalie?
327
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,030
Fill me up to the top! Ha-ha!
328
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,670
Keep going.
329
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,440
Yeah.
330
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:08,150
Oh! So...mystery man.
331
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,870
Firstly, I don't know much about
you. Who are you?
332
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,910
Well, my name is Dale.
333
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,470
SHE GIGGLES
334
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:20,230
Rachel never told me you were
so funny! Or cute.
335
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,390
Oh, boy.
336
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,310
Natalie, you're embarrassing him.
I just said he was cute.
337
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:29,990
It's not like I said he was
gorgeous, which you are, by the way.
338
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,390
Uh-huh.
339
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,470
Where I grew up, you weren't
allowed to touch a woman.
340
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,910
We were taught to stay
pure for The One.
341
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,750
A soul mate
342
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,070
could look in to your heart
and see what's inside.
343
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,910
That is so beautiful!
344
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,480
I mean, literally, she had X-ray
vision on every tentacle.
345
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,030
Ooh!
346
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,310
I really think
I should call you a cab.
347
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,440
(It's getting late.)
Maybe Dale could walk her home?
348
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,680
SHE COUGHS
349
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,710
HE GASPS
350
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,750
Tell me
more about this place you grew up.
351
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,830
Erm, well, there were
plenty of crazy things
352
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,150
but also, you know, a lot
of beautiful things as well.
353
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:31,110
Like, we had this friendship ritual
we'd do when new people arrive.
354
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,670
But sometimes we would just do it
to honour a special person.
355
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,950
I would love to see
your friendship ritual.
356
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,670
OK.
357
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,030
I haven't done it in a long time
358
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,400
but I think I could probably
remember it.
359
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,320
Friend.
360
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,600
Take my trust.
361
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,790
Friend.
362
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,120
Take my love.
363
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,080
Friend.
364
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,750
Take my blood.
365
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,600
SHE SCREAMS
366
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,110
My God! Dale!
367
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,750
HE MOANS
368
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,830
SHE CHUCKLES
369
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,680
Shit!
370
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:23,190
Oh, he's been gone ages.
Why isn't he back yet?
371
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,030
Have I got it all off?
372
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,240
There's a bit there.
373
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,080
SHE SIGHS
374
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,590
What time's your meeting?
Not for a couple of hours.
375
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,070
Want to get there early,
go through this plan with Steve.
376
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,910
If I get this right they'll
drop the charges.
377
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,230
Look at you, Rumpole of the Bailey.
378
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,040
Or should I say,
Rumpy Pumpy of the Bailey?
379
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,440
Get off, I'm trying to read.
380
00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,830
Lorna, get your hands on the wheel.
381
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,550
Sorry!
382
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,710
SIREN WAILS
Oh, bugger.
383
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,440
Oh, great. Just great.
384
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,070
Come on then, pull over.
385
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,400
SIREN WAILS
386
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,870
Lorn, pull over.
I'm not sure that's a good idea.
387
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,670
What do you mean? Don't get angry.
388
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,710
But there's a small possibility
I may have left
389
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,190
the dope in my coat pocket.
390
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,070
How much of a small possibility?
391
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,350
About...100%
392
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,040
Oh, for fuck's sake.
393
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,600
Window, Lorna. Oh.
394
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,910
Sorry, Officer, momentary
lapse in concentration. My wife...
395
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,430
Madam, are you aware why I've pulled
you over this morning?
396
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,030
OK, I hate to do this,
but I'm actually a solicitor, so...
397
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,950
Sir, when I lower my fingers,
you may speak.
398
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,550
Yeah, but I just think this is
relevant. Sir, can you see
399
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,630
the fingers are still raised? Yes.
400
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,880
Are you aware why I've
pulled you over?
401
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,960
Madam, will you please exit
the vehicle?
402
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,160
Why?
403
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,510
Did you just pass
an item to the gentleman?
404
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,110
No. Right, sir, I'm going to have to
ask you to exit the vehicle
405
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,750
and turn out your pockets.
Oh, this is perfect. Well done.
406
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,600
Sir, I will not ask you again!
407
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,680
Oh, Christ, Ken.
408
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,550
Three points on my licence.
Could've been worse.
409
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,470
It could've been a lot worse.
Why the hell did you pass it to me?
410
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,830
Ken, it worked out fine.
How are you feeling?
411
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,710
Fine, actually. I don't think it has
the same effect when you eat it.
412
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,350
Just tell Steve you're not feeling
well, he'll understand.
413
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,000
He really won't.
I'm fine, love. You go on.
414
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:10,910
Where have you been?
415
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,070
No time to explain, we need to find
Steve and talk him through our strategy.
416
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,350
I'm not sure there's time.
What's up with your eyes?
417
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,910
Nothing, I'm fine. Go back to bed.
418
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,670
Charles wants to
sit in on the meeting.
419
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,510
Prince Charles?
Charles our senior partner.
420
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,630
Yeah, OK, that does make more sense.
Here he is - the rain maker.
421
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,630
Ben's just been filling me
in on your case.
422
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,430
Sounds as though you've got
something remarkable up your sleeve.
423
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,590
I took the liberty, Ken. It is
pretty special.
424
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,310
You don't mind me sitting in,
do you?
425
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:38,510
Good idea, we don't want
Ken backing out, do we?
426
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,510
HE LAUGHS FORCEDLY
427
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:44,790
Erm, you know, breaking
in to the medical market would be
428
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,270
absolutely fantastic for the firm.
429
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,710
Now, you get a good result here and,
well, let's just say when the choice
430
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:55,120
for who becomes senior partner
will be a fucking packet easier.
431
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,080
Ken?
432
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,360
I won't let you down, Charles.
433
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,950
Mr Thompson, my name is
Helen Williams, I'm chief operating
434
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,070
officer of the Lichfield NHS Trust.
435
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,590
With me are Michael Levine
from our legal department
436
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,360
and Susan Daniels, head of HR.
437
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,600
And we are all silent.
438
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,950
Why are they staring at me?
They're waiting for you to speak.
439
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,190
Why?
Are you all right, Ken?
440
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,480
Could we just have five minutes?
441
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:50,270
Oh, no, my hands, my hands!
442
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,630
They're not shrinking.
They are not shrinking!
443
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:57,030
Ken, you're acting fairly strangely.
My hands are growing, Ben.
444
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,350
How am I supposed to eat chicken
with hands this big?
445
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:03,350
Ken, I think
I should take over the case.
446
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,270
You want my job.
447
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,270
You want to impress Prince Charles
and become king.
448
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,760
No way, Mister. NO WAY!
449
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,200
You know I do.
450
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:31,750
Mr Thompson, is there somewhere
private we can talk?
451
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:32,880
Oh...
452
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:35,880
It's, erm...
453
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,080
It's safe over here.
454
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:46,030
The last thing the hospital needs is
bad press and a huge lawsuit.
455
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,480
So we'd like to settle this matter
quickly and quietly.
456
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,070
If your client resigns,
then we can keep this
457
00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:58,350
incident off the record,
and avoid going to trial.
458
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,830
Mr Chance is a very volatile
individual, but if you can
459
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:06,160
persuade him to accept our offer
then he can find a job elsewhere.
460
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,440
He's not going to like this.
461
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,350
What do you think?
462
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,990
What the fuck is...?
Is that an eagle?
463
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,070
No, it's a kestrel, you dick.
464
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,870
Erm, it's clear that Mr Thompson's
not feeling too well, er,
465
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,990
perhaps I should take
over at this moment.
466
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:30,280
No, Charles. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
467
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:43,830
I'm sorry to interrupt
but I must be heard
468
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,150
and I must be heard quickly
and quietly.
469
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,470
Quickly, quietly. Quickly, quietly.
Quickly, quietly. Quickly, quietly.
470
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,030
Quickly, quietly. Quickly, quietly...
Right, let's see.
471
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,870
..quickly, quietly. Quickly, quietly.
472
00:24:55,920 --> 00:25:00,550
Lorna... My client is insane.
473
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,030
And you want to know why?
474
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,910
Because you've been making him
work too hard.
475
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,830
That's just ridiculous.
476
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,070
Have you checked what hours
she's been working? She?
477
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:13,110
Answer the question.
Have you checked how many
478
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,310
hours my client has been
working for your hospital trust?
479
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,110
We don't have that
information to hand.
480
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,870
No, you don't, but I do.
In my office.
481
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,760
Benjamin, the door, please.
482
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,840
GLASS SMASHES
483
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:38,710
Oh, hey, Mum.
484
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,030
Didn't hear you come home
last night.
485
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,110
No, I stayed the night at Natalie's.
486
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,150
Anything you want to tell me?
487
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,510
Oh, yeah, I fixed the lights.
488
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,990
Anything else?
489
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,670
I found some super-smelly
cheese in Ken's bedroom.
490
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,070
It, er...
491
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:57,670
Dale, er, what happened with you and
Natalie last night?
492
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,990
Oh, OK. We went to hers.
493
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,830
Mm. And I was kinda tired, so she
said I could sleep in her bed.
494
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,230
But I said, "No, thanks,"
495
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,110
because I know that's frowned upon
in your culture. Yes.
496
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,830
But then she got angry, and asked
if I wanted intercourse or not.
497
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:13,910
Oh, and, and did you?
498
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,190
Oh, boy. I mean she's really pretty
and all...
499
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,760
She's not that pretty.
500
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,200
Nothing happened.
501
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,880
I guess she just wasn't The One.
502
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,750
Oh, hello. Yeah.
High-five. Thanks.
503
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,710
Then Charles took over, Steve got
a month's suspension on full pay.
504
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,110
Well, that's good.
505
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,670
He was so pleased he wanted to take
you on holiday to say thanks.
506
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,870
The Swansea & Neath Judo Festival.
507
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,950
He said he was making you an offer
you couldn't refuse,
508
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,710
then he winked and walked out.
509
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,350
Then he came back in and explained
510
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,590
how you'd lied about having
a vasectomy.
511
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,710
You're not going to tell Lorna,
are you? No, of course not.
512
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:04,270
Although there is a little
something I'd like in return.
513
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,870
Go on, name your price.
514
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,150
Your hole punch, the one with
the option for A3 settings.
515
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,950
Oh, no. No, I use that all the time.
Oh.
516
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,310
OK then, I, I'm sorry,
that was completely
517
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:17,920
inappropriate of me,
forget I mentioned it.
518
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:25,310
What? I can't stop thinking about the
incident with the hole punch,
519
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,600
I'm mortified. Just get out.
520
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:30,200
Oh...
521
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,550
PHONE BEEPS
Shefali. I'm sorry about this -
522
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,160
you're going to have to book me
another vasectomy.
523
00:27:39,210 --> 00:27:43,760
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39700
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
