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1
00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:05,119
So we're not married? The
Thai authorities don't think so, no. Come on.
2
00:00:05,721 --> 00:00:07,080
They weren't even there!
3
00:00:07,081 --> 00:00:09,840
Do you have any kind
of marriage certificate?
4
00:00:09,841 --> 00:00:12,080
My brother, I have better.
5
00:00:12,081 --> 00:00:15,520
The monk who married us gave me
this half of a coconut.
6
00:00:15,521 --> 00:00:16,961
And me the other half.
7
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:20,841
This programme contains some strong
language.
8
00:00:21,161 --> 00:00:22,920
I love you so much!
9
00:00:22,921 --> 00:00:24,561
Oh, baby!
10
00:00:28,681 --> 00:00:31,280
I'm looking for proof of marriage,
11
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,920
and this is a coconut.
12
00:00:32,921 --> 00:00:36,320
Why don't you show that coconut
to your boss, OK?
13
00:00:36,321 --> 00:00:39,120
You've been living here
for three months with no visa,
14
00:00:39,121 --> 00:00:41,680
you're not married, which means
you're working illegally,
15
00:00:41,681 --> 00:00:44,400
and if that's not resolved,
your uh...
16
00:00:44,401 --> 00:00:46,640
philosophical potato van
will be closed down
17
00:00:46,641 --> 00:00:47,961
and you will be deported!
18
00:00:47,962 --> 00:00:52,520
I'm sorry, but we deal
in legal documents, not fruit.
19
00:00:52,521 --> 00:00:54,240
This is a nut. It's a nut.
20
00:00:54,241 --> 00:00:57,120
No. No. Coconut belongs to the class
of fruit drupe,
21
00:00:57,121 --> 00:00:58,361
like the mango or the olive.
22
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,440
You guys at UK border protection
really know a lot, huh?
23
00:01:01,441 --> 00:01:04,101
It saves lives.
24
00:01:10,201 --> 00:01:14,920
OK, so it turns out that Cuckoo
and I are not actually married!
25
00:01:14,921 --> 00:01:17,440
Sorry, what? Well, what about
Thailand, the beach!
26
00:01:17,441 --> 00:01:19,961
Apparently that wasn't official,
so it doesn't count!
27
00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:24,480
That is funny.
28
00:01:24,481 --> 00:01:28,800
Yeah, it certainly does cast
a different perspective on the last three months, huh, Ken? Yeah!
29
00:01:28,801 --> 00:01:31,800
So we're going to get married on
Saturday! What! Why?
30
00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:33,161
Because we love each other!
31
00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:35,480
And there are legal complications
if we don't.
32
00:01:35,481 --> 00:01:37,240
We could have it in the garden!
33
00:01:37,241 --> 00:01:38,641
Great idea, Mum! Rach! Ah!
34
00:01:38,642 --> 00:01:41,520
Hey, whoa! Let's just slow this car
right down, eh, guys?
35
00:01:41,521 --> 00:01:45,480
Maybe it would be better
if you didn't get married!
36
00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,720
Better how, Ken?
Yes, how, Dad?
37
00:01:47,721 --> 00:01:51,920
You know, marriage is just so old
school and stuffy and binding.
38
00:01:51,921 --> 00:01:55,000
Not getting married,
hah, that is funky.
39
00:01:55,001 --> 00:01:56,600
That's way more you.
40
00:01:56,601 --> 00:01:58,840
If we don't get married,
they'll deport Cuckoo.
41
00:01:58,841 --> 00:02:00,441
And maybe that will be a good thing!
42
00:02:00,442 --> 00:02:05,080
Maybe distance is the test
that your love has been seeking!
43
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:09,360
Maybe by being further apart, you'd
actually become closer together.
44
00:02:09,361 --> 00:02:10,680
Hah.
45
00:02:10,681 --> 00:02:12,920
Well, that is a very beautiful
thought, Ken,
46
00:02:12,921 --> 00:02:16,080
but if I got deported, what would
happen to the potato van?
47
00:02:16,081 --> 00:02:19,601
Plus... Rachel gets really cranky
when she doesn't get laid.
48
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:21,880
I do.
49
00:02:21,881 --> 00:02:23,080
She does!
50
00:02:23,081 --> 00:02:25,081
You do. I know.
51
00:02:27,241 --> 00:02:30,081
It's my fault.
I know, it is all your fault!
52
00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:34,720
What was that in there? It's like
you don't want them to get married!
53
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,360
I don't! Of course I don't!
54
00:02:36,361 --> 00:02:38,360
What? You love Cuckoo!
55
00:02:38,361 --> 00:02:40,480
Have you been here
for the last three months?
56
00:02:40,481 --> 00:02:42,040
Ken, you are being silly.
57
00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,760
I remember my mum saying to me,
58
00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:46,400
"Marry a man that tall
and you'll die of neck ache."
59
00:02:46,401 --> 00:02:49,680
Well, I did, and it is nothing
the chiropractor can't handle!
60
00:02:49,681 --> 00:02:52,080
Cuckoo has got a heart of gold!
61
00:02:52,081 --> 00:02:54,040
And he adores Rachel.
62
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,880
What more could any parents ask!
63
00:02:55,881 --> 00:02:58,440
Some more!
64
00:02:58,441 --> 00:03:00,521
Lorna, we've got to stop this!
65
00:03:02,041 --> 00:03:05,080
I am having a wedding, Ken.
I am owed a wedding!
66
00:03:05,081 --> 00:03:09,920
Hey, hey, hey, there he is,
my father-in-law-to-be!
67
00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:13,520
Hope he likes me!
Trying to make a good impression, guv'nor!
68
00:03:13,521 --> 00:03:17,520
Don't try an English accent, Cuckoo,
it's offensive to my culture. Oh...
69
00:03:17,521 --> 00:03:19,480
OK, I'm so sorry.
70
00:03:19,481 --> 00:03:21,360
Anyways, back on track,
71
00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:24,000
I have been giving a lot of thought
to your British tradition,
72
00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:25,200
the stag do,
73
00:03:25,201 --> 00:03:29,521
and who would make the perfect
candidate for the best man honours?
74
00:03:34,721 --> 00:03:37,760
It's you, Ken! Ah...
Bring it in!
75
00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:41,160
Oh, Cuckoo, Ken is already
the father of the bride.
76
00:03:41,161 --> 00:03:43,040
Perfect, he can do both!
77
00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:46,480
Actually, babe, maybe Dad's already
got enough to do at the ceremony,
78
00:03:46,481 --> 00:03:49,960
what with giving me away
and the kiss of brotherhood.
79
00:03:49,961 --> 00:03:52,960
I'm sorry, the kiss of brotherhood?
80
00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:55,920
Oh, Ken, it's this beautiful
Buddhist tradition
81
00:03:55,921 --> 00:03:59,880
where the groom and the father of
the bride share a symbolic embrace
82
00:03:59,881 --> 00:04:01,880
to welcome the groom
into the family.
83
00:04:01,881 --> 00:04:04,801
But fear not, Ken, no tongues.
84
00:04:07,601 --> 00:04:11,360
I'm sorry, you want us to snog in
front of all my friends and family?
85
00:04:11,361 --> 00:04:14,400
Well, yeah, but you can say no, Ken.
86
00:04:14,401 --> 00:04:15,560
Oh, good. No.
87
00:04:15,561 --> 00:04:18,040
Oh, don't give your answer just yet!
88
00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,800
I will give my answer now! No!
89
00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,920
Please don't say no. No!
90
00:04:22,921 --> 00:04:24,321
I'm hearing what you're saying,
91
00:04:24,322 --> 00:04:27,160
but what about if you said something
that rhymed with chess?
92
00:04:27,161 --> 00:04:29,481
No! Great, so you'll think about it!
93
00:04:33,081 --> 00:04:34,721
We're getting married!
94
00:04:38,121 --> 00:04:39,361
What?!
95
00:04:40,361 --> 00:04:41,401
Ken!
96
00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:43,680
Ken!
97
00:04:43,681 --> 00:04:47,080
Have you seen Ken?
He's really tall.
98
00:04:47,081 --> 00:04:48,840
Has anyone seen him?
Sorry.
99
00:04:48,841 --> 00:04:50,001
Ken!
100
00:04:52,681 --> 00:04:54,240
Ken!
101
00:04:54,241 --> 00:04:56,280
Ah, there you are.
102
00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:59,120
Steve, how did you get
past reception?
103
00:04:59,121 --> 00:05:00,840
I told them we were brothers
104
00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:03,640
and that our dad got
burned in a house fire.
105
00:05:03,641 --> 00:05:06,201
Look sad or they won't suck it up!
106
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,160
Have you heard from Connie?
107
00:05:10,161 --> 00:05:13,600
Last time I heard she was planning
a holiday with Alexandro.
108
00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:14,840
Alexandro!
109
00:05:14,841 --> 00:05:17,280
Arh, Alexandro!
110
00:05:17,281 --> 00:05:18,360
Come on!
111
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,840
Alexandro!
112
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:23,520
The guy I really blame for this is
Cuckoo. I mean, he started it all.
113
00:05:23,521 --> 00:05:26,560
And you. You've been weak.
Me?
114
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:29,280
Yeah. If my son-in-law went around
playing the wally
115
00:05:29,281 --> 00:05:31,120
breaking up my friend's marriages,
116
00:05:31,121 --> 00:05:33,040
I'd give him a morote seoi nage.
117
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,960
A what? It's a judo move.
118
00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:36,161
A two-arm shoulder throw.
119
00:05:36,162 --> 00:05:38,360
I'll show you.
Get off me, you bell end!
120
00:05:38,361 --> 00:05:41,640
For what it's worth,
he isn't my son-in-law.
121
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:45,240
Apparently, Rachel's marriage wasn't
even official. Not official!
122
00:05:45,241 --> 00:05:47,480
Ken, this is a game-changer!
123
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,160
This is our window!
124
00:05:49,161 --> 00:05:52,360
We can get rid of Cuckoo
once and for all.
125
00:05:52,361 --> 00:05:55,960
Don't tell me you wouldn't be happy
if someone didn't put that boy on a boat out of here!
126
00:05:55,961 --> 00:05:58,560
OK, yes! If I could, I would!
127
00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:00,200
But it's not possible, Steve!
128
00:06:00,201 --> 00:06:04,560
And you need to go home, have a
lie down and phone a psychologist.
129
00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:07,760
I just wanted you to know
you've got an ally in me.
130
00:06:07,761 --> 00:06:11,601
An enemy of my enemy is my friend.
131
00:06:16,721 --> 00:06:20,680
Hey, Ken,
sorry to hear about your father.
132
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,761
I mean, the fire. What a way to go.
133
00:06:25,481 --> 00:06:29,080
So I was thinking,
classic rose garden theme.
134
00:06:29,081 --> 00:06:30,880
White flowers, pinks,
135
00:06:30,881 --> 00:06:34,000
probably a string quartet
playing some classical stuff.
136
00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:36,520
Wow, Mum, amazing idea!
137
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,600
Thank you!
138
00:06:37,601 --> 00:06:40,800
A great start. Just building on
that, instead of the flowers,
139
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,360
we could have African
fertility statues.
140
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,440
Um... Yeah!
141
00:06:44,441 --> 00:06:48,040
And instead of the strings, we could
have say, like, a quartet of bongo players.
142
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:51,400
Great! Rach, we are so
on the same page!
143
00:06:51,401 --> 00:06:52,600
Uh-huh.
144
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:56,560
Uh... Building on what you said,
I was thinking that, yeah,
145
00:06:56,561 --> 00:07:02,160
except maybe... rose garden
and string quartet,
146
00:07:02,161 --> 00:07:06,320
because most people find
bongo playing very repetitive.
147
00:07:06,321 --> 00:07:09,480
Well, you can hit a bongo
in 400 different ways. Not in a wedding, you can't?
148
00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:11,241
Yes, you can! Write down bongos.
149
00:07:12,561 --> 00:07:14,160
Write it down!
150
00:07:14,161 --> 00:07:16,920
Dad, I want to talk to
you about Cuckoo's stag night.
151
00:07:16,921 --> 00:07:18,681
I need �200 for
the lap-dancing club.
152
00:07:18,682 --> 00:07:22,481
He's asked you to be his best man?
Not yet, but you said no and I'm the only other guy he knows.
153
00:07:23,521 --> 00:07:24,960
It's Cuckoo!
154
00:07:24,961 --> 00:07:26,721
Hello, Cuckoo! Good day at the van?
155
00:07:26,722 --> 00:07:31,200
Awesome day, thanks for asking,
and I have some big news!
156
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,560
I chose who my best man
is going to be.
157
00:07:33,561 --> 00:07:37,000
Cuckoo, you are not going to regret
this. We're going to see like a million tits!
158
00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:40,801
Ha-ha, yeah! Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr Steve Chance!
159
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,041
Woo!
160
00:07:46,881 --> 00:07:49,400
Whoop! There he goes.
161
00:07:49,401 --> 00:07:52,441
Yeah, he's been doing that a lot.
Back up!
162
00:07:53,721 --> 00:07:56,400
Yeah, I ran into him in town
and just had a brainwave.
163
00:07:56,401 --> 00:07:58,320
I mean, how perfect is this guy!
164
00:07:58,321 --> 00:08:00,080
Perfect? How?
165
00:08:00,081 --> 00:08:01,480
Well, let's see.
166
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,080
One, he's a guy.
Two, he's a hell of a guy!
167
00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:06,240
Yeah!
168
00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:09,000
And three, the best man's
gotta know how to party
169
00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:11,320
and this guy was drunk at
11.30 on a weekday.
170
00:08:11,321 --> 00:08:14,400
I was. I am.
171
00:08:14,401 --> 00:08:17,280
Steve, do you really think that
this is the best role for you?
172
00:08:17,281 --> 00:08:20,360
Lorna, are you worrying because I
basically broke up Steve's marriage?
173
00:08:20,361 --> 00:08:22,201
Well, yes.
174
00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:29,561
She is. I'm going to throw this
ruffian the best stag do in history.
175
00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:31,560
To Cuckoo.
176
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:34,841
Ah... Great guy, I think
we'll all agree.
177
00:08:37,761 --> 00:08:39,761
I know how to pick 'em!
178
00:08:41,441 --> 00:08:43,201
Steve, what the hell are you doing?
179
00:08:43,202 --> 00:08:45,160
I've worked my way inside.
180
00:08:45,161 --> 00:08:47,960
As best man, I've got total control
over Cuckoo's stag.
181
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:51,040
Here's the plan - we hire a girl,
182
00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:52,760
she gets off with Cuckoo,
183
00:08:52,761 --> 00:08:55,520
I take a photo on my
fourth-generation smartphone
184
00:08:55,521 --> 00:08:57,200
and send it to Rachel.
185
00:08:57,201 --> 00:08:58,441
Textbook honey trap!
186
00:08:58,442 --> 00:09:00,480
That is crazy!
That's completely mad!
187
00:09:00,481 --> 00:09:03,440
And besides, Cuckoo would never do
anything. He adores Rachel.
188
00:09:03,441 --> 00:09:06,520
Well, he'd be so drunk
he won't know what he's doing!
189
00:09:06,521 --> 00:09:08,200
He'll be catatonic.
190
00:09:08,201 --> 00:09:11,680
She'll kind of drape herself
over him.
191
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:12,960
I'll show you.
192
00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:16,080
You like on the floor.
No need, I get it.
193
00:09:16,081 --> 00:09:18,920
Rachel's a feisty girl,
she'll have doubts.
194
00:09:18,921 --> 00:09:23,041
But you get to work turning
doubt into get out...
195
00:09:24,441 --> 00:09:25,960
of my house.
196
00:09:25,961 --> 00:09:29,081
Steve, I have to admit the plan
has a certain beauty.
197
00:09:30,521 --> 00:09:32,520
We never had this conversation.
198
00:09:32,521 --> 00:09:35,281
Cool. I'll erase the tape.
199
00:09:39,681 --> 00:09:42,721
Oh, fucking hell,
there's so many buttons.
200
00:09:46,161 --> 00:09:50,320
I can't help thinking that Steve
is a bad choice for best man.
201
00:09:50,321 --> 00:09:53,120
Poor little Dylly,
he was so looking forward to it.
202
00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:56,200
I think Dylan would have arranged
a night of nothing but strip bars.
203
00:09:56,201 --> 00:09:58,600
Well, why not?
204
00:09:58,601 --> 00:10:00,840
Let your hair down,
a bit of innocent fun.
205
00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:03,280
Lorna, we don't approve
of strip bars!
206
00:10:03,281 --> 00:10:08,360
Oh, Ken, it's not like the girls
actually take their clothes off!
207
00:10:08,361 --> 00:10:11,880
How do you mean? Well, it's not about
titillation, is it,
208
00:10:11,881 --> 00:10:15,160
it's about the art of tease
and asserting women!
209
00:10:15,161 --> 00:10:18,400
You remember, we saw that BBC Four
documentary about it.
210
00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:21,240
That was about burlesque
in the 1940s!
211
00:10:21,241 --> 00:10:23,360
It's the same thing, you drongo!
212
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,121
It won't have changed that much!
213
00:10:27,521 --> 00:10:28,721
It's not the same thing.
214
00:10:30,361 --> 00:10:32,121
How do you know?
215
00:10:33,401 --> 00:10:35,280
You're probably right!
216
00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:36,761
Probably is the same thing.
217
00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:38,041
Night!
218
00:10:43,521 --> 00:10:47,640
Steve, mate, I overheard Cuckoo
talking to Rachel earlier
219
00:10:47,641 --> 00:10:48,959
and he said he'd be devastated
220
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,359
if he didn't visit a traditional
English strip bar.
221
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,601
Let's not break his heart.
222
00:10:52,602 --> 00:10:55,200
Dylan, we're not going
to a lap-dancing club.
223
00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:56,840
It's for Cuckoo, Dad!
224
00:10:56,841 --> 00:10:59,360
God, you're so wrapped up
in yourself!
225
00:10:59,361 --> 00:11:00,480
Am I?
226
00:11:00,481 --> 00:11:02,000
Stag do!
227
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:03,360
Yeah!
228
00:11:03,361 --> 00:11:06,881
The groom-to-be,
or should I say the victim-to-be?
229
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,600
Your costume, Sir.
230
00:11:10,601 --> 00:11:13,161
Ah! You got me a costume! Steve!
231
00:11:14,601 --> 00:11:17,440
And I want you to know I'm ready
for your stag do prank.
232
00:11:17,441 --> 00:11:19,601
Who said I'm going to do a prank?
233
00:11:21,641 --> 00:11:23,800
Arh! Arh!
234
00:11:23,801 --> 00:11:25,081
Yeah! Ha!
235
00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,961
Stag do!
236
00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:33,400
Stag do!
237
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,120
Right, these are the stag rules.
238
00:11:35,121 --> 00:11:37,720
You have to drink every time
you make a factual error
239
00:11:37,721 --> 00:11:39,520
or you say a colour,
240
00:11:39,521 --> 00:11:43,440
and every time you call the stag
Cuckoo instead of Special Baby.
241
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:44,640
Rah-hah!
242
00:11:44,641 --> 00:11:46,600
Also, when you say "a" or "the."
243
00:11:46,601 --> 00:11:47,920
Now, when you put a...
244
00:11:47,921 --> 00:11:49,080
Steve? What?
245
00:11:49,081 --> 00:11:51,080
Where exactly are we going?
Liverpool.
246
00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:53,000
Liverpool! That's miles away!
247
00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:54,120
Yeah.
248
00:11:54,121 --> 00:11:57,480
Some of the best bars are in
Liverpool, full of fit birds, eh,
249
00:11:57,481 --> 00:11:59,720
like on Hollyoaks, Dylan, ha-ha!
250
00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:01,760
No, Steve, Hollyoaks
is filmed in Cheshire!
251
00:12:01,761 --> 00:12:04,160
Drink! Drink!
Oh-ho-ho.
252
00:12:04,161 --> 00:12:05,520
Arh, yeah!
253
00:12:05,521 --> 00:12:08,520
Boys, boys,
Steve is driving along a motorway!
254
00:12:08,521 --> 00:12:11,760
Nonsense, them's the rules, Ken,
them's the rules, and you said "a."
255
00:12:11,761 --> 00:12:15,600
Ha-ha! Drink!
Oh! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Yes, drink, all right!
256
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:16,920
Stag do!
257
00:12:16,921 --> 00:12:19,880
Stag do! Woo!
258
00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:22,441
Woo!
259
00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:39,560
Yeah.
260
00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:40,880
Have you got any ID?
261
00:12:40,881 --> 00:12:42,360
I'm 33, mate!
262
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,001
It's all right, mate, he's with us.
263
00:12:44,002 --> 00:12:46,680
He's 18. You got any ID?
264
00:12:46,681 --> 00:12:48,441
I'm only kidding you, mate.
Go on in.
265
00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:51,881
You're awesome! Mwah!
266
00:14:17,841 --> 00:14:21,960
It's just the same as in my day.
You just find the modern equivalent.
267
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:24,120
So first, you tell 'em
you're a top stockbroker.
268
00:14:24,121 --> 00:14:26,520
So... I'm a dotcom millionaire?
269
00:14:26,521 --> 00:14:28,680
Right.
And then, you say you know Wham.
270
00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:30,480
So... I know One Direction!
271
00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:33,480
OK, but don't admit
to being under 30,
272
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,640
and never confess to any
weakness or emotion.
273
00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:39,640
Apart from that, just be yourself.
274
00:14:39,641 --> 00:14:43,120
Hiya, guys!
You having a good night?
275
00:14:43,121 --> 00:14:45,480
It's the babe from the agency, Ken.
276
00:14:45,481 --> 00:14:48,440
I'm dead nervous.
It's my first time!
277
00:14:48,441 --> 00:14:50,600
I've literally got no idea
what I'm doing!
278
00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:52,640
Oh, good! Hey-hey!
279
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,200
Hey-hey, Cuckoo!
280
00:14:55,201 --> 00:14:57,840
Uh-oh, who's our new friend?
281
00:14:57,841 --> 00:15:00,680
Chantelle. Pleased to meet you.
It's boss in 'ere, isn't it?
282
00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:02,840
Yes, completely.
283
00:15:02,841 --> 00:15:04,520
Chantelle, this is Cuckoo.
284
00:15:04,521 --> 00:15:06,600
Oh, right!
285
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,840
Ah, I'm made up,
cos you're actually quite fit
286
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,600
and the girl at the agency said
you get some proper mingers.
287
00:15:11,601 --> 00:15:14,880
Totally. I completely agree
with all of that.
288
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,001
Is she from Europe?
289
00:15:18,481 --> 00:15:22,921
Chantelle, why don't you go
and wait over there?
290
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,720
Whoop! She seems nice!
291
00:15:26,721 --> 00:15:28,360
Yeah, yeah.
292
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:29,480
Oh!
293
00:15:29,481 --> 00:15:30,961
Whoa! This is my song!
294
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:33,961
Ah! The dance floor calls!
295
00:15:33,962 --> 00:15:35,040
Oooh!
296
00:15:35,041 --> 00:15:36,920
Cuckoo train, Cuckoo train!
297
00:15:36,921 --> 00:15:38,841
Woo!
298
00:15:40,241 --> 00:15:41,921
He's nowhere near drunk enough yet!
299
00:15:41,922 --> 00:15:45,360
Special Baby's had twice
what I've had to drink
300
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,320
and I AM hammered!
301
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:49,040
It's a waiting game, Ken.
302
00:15:49,041 --> 00:15:51,281
Keep your focus!
303
00:15:52,841 --> 00:15:54,081
I want to dance.
304
00:15:54,082 --> 00:15:56,200
No, Ken! Focus!
305
00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:58,880
It's Diana Ross, Steve!
I want to dance!
306
00:15:58,881 --> 00:16:00,041
No!
307
00:16:45,241 --> 00:16:47,400
You can dance! You can dance!
308
00:16:47,401 --> 00:16:49,920
What? Ah!
309
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:53,201
Ah! Ah!
310
00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:57,960
You know, my parents split up
when I was five.
311
00:16:57,961 --> 00:17:00,160
My dad didn't really want to know me
312
00:17:00,161 --> 00:17:02,920
and my mom was always distracted.
313
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:06,200
I never felt like I had a real
family, you know?
314
00:17:06,201 --> 00:17:09,080
And now, I finally do
315
00:17:09,081 --> 00:17:10,641
with you guys!
316
00:17:14,921 --> 00:17:16,760
Thank you, Special Baby.
317
00:17:16,761 --> 00:17:19,920
I'm the Special Baby.
You're the Special Baby.
318
00:17:19,921 --> 00:17:22,241
Uh, I feel woozy.
319
00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,161
Now's our chance.
320
00:17:25,162 --> 00:17:27,360
You get Chantelle,
I'll get the camera.
321
00:17:27,361 --> 00:17:31,600
Steve, do you know what,
best not do this.
322
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:32,680
What?
323
00:17:32,681 --> 00:17:35,760
Let's just not bother.
It's better this way.
324
00:17:35,761 --> 00:17:37,920
You're probably right.
325
00:17:37,921 --> 00:17:40,600
Sabotaging my own daughter's wedding,
Steve,
326
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,520
it's a bit extreme, isn't it?
327
00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:44,881
Completely. Yeah.
I agree.
328
00:17:47,521 --> 00:17:49,800
My last best man's duty...
329
00:17:49,801 --> 00:17:52,000
prostitute's poison
to finish off the night.
330
00:17:52,001 --> 00:17:53,040
Ah!
331
00:17:53,041 --> 00:17:54,441
Ah! Why not?
332
00:17:58,321 --> 00:17:59,601
To forgiveness.
333
00:17:59,602 --> 00:18:01,081
To forgiveness.
334
00:18:04,281 --> 00:18:06,280
Mmm.
335
00:18:06,281 --> 00:18:08,560
Whoa!
336
00:18:08,561 --> 00:18:10,041
Steve?
337
00:18:16,441 --> 00:18:19,960
Steve, what about Dylan?
338
00:18:19,961 --> 00:18:21,120
He'll be fine!
339
00:18:21,121 --> 00:18:22,960
And should you be driving?
340
00:18:22,961 --> 00:18:25,960
It's OK, Ken, I've been faking
drinking all evening.
341
00:18:25,961 --> 00:18:29,761
Ah! Because I was saying about...
342
00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:41,921
Wha... What the fuck!
343
00:18:53,361 --> 00:18:54,521
Lads!
344
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:57,641
Dylan! Cuckoo!
345
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,360
Dylan? Yes, Babe.
346
00:19:04,361 --> 00:19:07,200
OK, I've got a confession to make.
347
00:19:07,201 --> 00:19:09,720
Yes, Babe.
I'm not 21, like I said.
348
00:19:09,721 --> 00:19:11,160
I'm 19.
349
00:19:11,161 --> 00:19:12,561
Oh, I'm so sorry, Dylan.
350
00:19:13,721 --> 00:19:15,041
Forgiven.
351
00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:23,080
That'll be the CEO
of my dotcom business.
352
00:19:23,081 --> 00:19:24,160
Mum!
353
00:19:24,161 --> 00:19:25,400
Nickname. Oh.
354
00:19:25,401 --> 00:19:26,560
'Dylan?'
355
00:19:26,561 --> 00:19:29,600
Dylan, where's your dad?
Where's your dad, Dylan?
356
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:33,080
Dad is in another meeting
at the moment, I'm afraid.
357
00:19:33,081 --> 00:19:34,361
Major investor.
358
00:19:34,362 --> 00:19:36,680
The wedding is at 11.
359
00:19:36,681 --> 00:19:38,920
Dylan, your sister's
getting married!
360
00:19:38,921 --> 00:19:41,079
I'm a little caught up
with a client at the moment,
361
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,359
'so why don't you put the deal
together yourself, '
362
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,641
I'll mosey on down later
to help with the sign-off.
363
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,760
Dylan! Dylan!
364
00:19:47,761 --> 00:19:50,961
'Dylan! Dylan!'
Bad reception, Brian! Bye! Bye!
365
00:19:52,481 --> 00:19:53,560
Where were we?
366
00:19:53,561 --> 00:19:57,200
If we do it again, would you
mention me to Harry Styles?
367
00:19:57,201 --> 00:19:58,640
Course, babe.
368
00:19:58,641 --> 00:19:59,881
Oh.
369
00:20:05,321 --> 00:20:08,640
Excuse me, this is
a non-smoking wedding.
370
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,200
Uh!
371
00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:12,961
That is very rude for a monk!
372
00:20:14,641 --> 00:20:16,001
Cuckoo!
373
00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:23,361
Lads!
374
00:20:24,601 --> 00:20:25,961
Dylan!
375
00:20:27,081 --> 00:20:28,641
Cuckoo!
376
00:20:29,641 --> 00:20:31,041
Lads!
377
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,521
Dylan!
378
00:20:35,481 --> 00:20:37,961
Steve!
379
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,201
Aye.
380
00:20:48,841 --> 00:20:50,480
Ah, good chap.
381
00:20:50,481 --> 00:20:54,240
Steve, where is Cuckoo!
382
00:20:54,241 --> 00:20:55,640
Ken, how are you?
383
00:20:55,641 --> 00:20:57,521
Oh, let me guess,
little bit of a headache?
384
00:20:57,522 --> 00:20:59,320
Is that Ken? Hey, Ken!
385
00:20:59,321 --> 00:21:00,960
'This is so fun!'
386
00:21:00,961 --> 00:21:02,480
Is he in that container?
387
00:21:02,481 --> 00:21:04,120
'Sure am, buddy! Ho, ho, my God!'
388
00:21:04,121 --> 00:21:07,120
This must be like the biggest
stag do prank ever.
389
00:21:07,121 --> 00:21:08,640
Stag do!
390
00:21:08,641 --> 00:21:10,360
Stag do! 'Stag do!'
391
00:21:10,361 --> 00:21:13,040
So, as you can see, Ken,
everything worked out pretty well!
392
00:21:13,041 --> 00:21:15,680
Steve, what is happening?!
393
00:21:15,681 --> 00:21:18,920
Never go into battle
with only one exit.
394
00:21:18,921 --> 00:21:20,161
That's my motto, friend.
395
00:21:20,162 --> 00:21:22,680
And since you sissied out
last night, I activated plan B.
396
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,361
Ah!
397
00:21:26,761 --> 00:21:29,640
Why is Cuckoo in the container,
Steve?
398
00:21:29,641 --> 00:21:32,200
Uh, uh, you didn't say Special
Baby! Drink! Drink! Drink!
399
00:21:32,201 --> 00:21:33,640
He won't be hurt, Ken.
400
00:21:33,641 --> 00:21:38,240
After three months on the boat,
my good friend Fufan will pop him back on the beach, happy as Larry.
401
00:21:38,241 --> 00:21:41,080
'You drinking?'
You twisted little bastard.
402
00:21:41,081 --> 00:21:44,440
I can't do this!
Rachel will get over it soon enough.
403
00:21:44,441 --> 00:21:46,440
We've got to get him out, Steve!
404
00:21:46,441 --> 00:21:48,521
He wrecked my marriage, Ken.
405
00:21:49,561 --> 00:21:51,800
He ruined my life!
406
00:21:51,801 --> 00:21:53,641
Fine, I'll get a port official.
407
00:21:54,801 --> 00:21:55,920
No, Ken.
408
00:21:55,921 --> 00:21:58,601
I can't allow you to do that,
I'm afraid.
409
00:22:02,201 --> 00:22:03,761
Seriously, Steve?
410
00:22:10,601 --> 00:22:13,640
Get off! What are you...
411
00:22:13,641 --> 00:22:17,080
Ah! ..Doing, you little tit! Argh!
412
00:22:17,081 --> 00:22:19,280
You've given me a bloody dead leg!
413
00:22:19,281 --> 00:22:20,921
Ah!
414
00:22:24,121 --> 00:22:25,600
'Stag do!'
415
00:22:25,601 --> 00:22:26,920
Oh! No!
416
00:22:26,921 --> 00:22:28,360
Yeah!
417
00:22:28,361 --> 00:22:30,840
'This is awesome, you guys!'
418
00:22:30,841 --> 00:22:32,161
Ah!
419
00:22:39,761 --> 00:22:41,600
Snake! Rah!
420
00:22:41,601 --> 00:22:43,360
Argh! Fuck!
421
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:45,520
'Stag do!
422
00:22:45,521 --> 00:22:46,760
'Stag do!'
423
00:22:46,761 --> 00:22:48,320
Ah! He is at Cambridge.
424
00:22:48,321 --> 00:22:50,201
He's not at Cambridge!
He's at Cambridge!
425
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:51,641
He's not at Cambridge!
426
00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:58,040
Calm!
427
00:22:58,041 --> 00:23:00,241
Yes? Yes.
428
00:23:03,441 --> 00:23:05,320
Arh!
429
00:23:05,321 --> 00:23:09,160
'This is so hilarious!
Woo, Special Baby!'
430
00:23:09,161 --> 00:23:11,281
Ah! Yes!
431
00:23:17,441 --> 00:23:19,441
Fucking idiot!
432
00:23:25,761 --> 00:23:27,560
'Whoa! Ah-ha-ha!'
433
00:23:27,561 --> 00:23:30,400
I'm flying! I'm flying!
434
00:23:30,401 --> 00:23:33,041
Ah, this is an awesome. Stag do!
435
00:23:35,401 --> 00:23:36,760
Oh!
436
00:23:36,761 --> 00:23:38,680
Arh!
437
00:23:38,681 --> 00:23:40,201
Cuckoo!
438
00:23:51,281 --> 00:23:53,040
'Woo!'
439
00:23:53,041 --> 00:23:55,320
Special Baby!
440
00:23:55,321 --> 00:23:56,640
Oh!
441
00:23:56,641 --> 00:23:58,481
Oh, God.
442
00:24:04,321 --> 00:24:07,400
No, come on, Ken!
443
00:24:07,401 --> 00:24:08,561
Come on!
444
00:24:24,761 --> 00:24:26,200
Stop the ship!
445
00:24:26,201 --> 00:24:29,000
Hey, stop the ship!
446
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:31,080
Hey, stop the ship!
447
00:24:31,081 --> 00:24:33,041
Stop!
448
00:24:33,921 --> 00:24:35,321
Hey!
449
00:24:41,841 --> 00:24:43,440
Hi, Lorn.
450
00:24:43,441 --> 00:24:46,800
Uh... Bit of a mess-up our end.
451
00:24:46,801 --> 00:24:49,041
Uh... It's a funny story, really.
452
00:24:50,561 --> 00:24:52,320
Well, where do I start with this?
453
00:24:52,321 --> 00:24:53,681
Stag do!
454
00:24:57,681 --> 00:25:00,600
Hoo! You guys almost got me.
455
00:25:00,601 --> 00:25:02,600
Oh! Oh, you jokesters.
456
00:25:02,601 --> 00:25:04,360
Ah, good thing for me
457
00:25:04,361 --> 00:25:07,760
I was an escapologist
for two years in Ulan Bator.
458
00:25:07,761 --> 00:25:09,761
You didn't know that, did you?
Cuckoo.
459
00:25:12,521 --> 00:25:15,321
Hold me against your big,
warm body, Ken.
460
00:25:16,921 --> 00:25:19,400
Hah, the ocean was so cold.
461
00:25:19,401 --> 00:25:20,801
I swam so far.
462
00:25:22,441 --> 00:25:23,761
A lot of backstroke.
463
00:25:24,881 --> 00:25:27,160
Let's get you back to the van.
OK.
464
00:25:27,161 --> 00:25:28,600
Wait, what about Steve?
465
00:25:28,601 --> 00:25:30,120
He's not coming, Cuckoo.
466
00:25:30,121 --> 00:25:32,240
Ah, I get it, joke's on him!
The joke's on him.
467
00:25:32,241 --> 00:25:35,041
Joke's on him this time!
That's right.
468
00:25:45,081 --> 00:25:46,881
Dad, I'm just going to go
and have a check.
469
00:25:46,882 --> 00:25:48,680
Oh. I'll hang on here.
470
00:25:48,681 --> 00:25:50,081
Yes.
471
00:25:54,921 --> 00:25:57,000
You look lovely. Oh.
472
00:25:57,001 --> 00:25:58,480
Thanks, Mum.
473
00:25:58,481 --> 00:26:00,281
Nice.
474
00:26:07,001 --> 00:26:08,199
Did we make it?
475
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,599
With 20 minutes to spare.
476
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,321
We were so lucky
on the Mersey turnpike
477
00:26:11,322 --> 00:26:13,480
and we made great time
from then on in.
478
00:26:13,481 --> 00:26:17,880
You know, Ken, I'm glad Steve's not
here because, honestly,
479
00:26:17,881 --> 00:26:20,720
I did not enjoy being tied up
in that container!
480
00:26:20,721 --> 00:26:22,760
I mean, I'm not even sure
it was that funny.
481
00:26:22,761 --> 00:26:25,001
It wasn't! It was a genuine attempt
to get rid of you!
482
00:26:25,002 --> 00:26:27,000
No. Yes!
483
00:26:27,001 --> 00:26:29,760
Holy shit!
484
00:26:29,761 --> 00:26:31,560
Steve hadn't really forgiven me?
485
00:26:31,561 --> 00:26:36,880
You know, Ken, with no Steve,
I'm going to need a new best man!
486
00:26:36,881 --> 00:26:38,480
Ah!
487
00:26:38,481 --> 00:26:40,121
Just say yes!
488
00:26:44,241 --> 00:26:45,760
Well, you gave me a fright!
489
00:26:45,761 --> 00:26:47,400
Sounds like you've had a big one!
490
00:26:47,401 --> 00:26:49,680
Pretty big one, yeah,
we went to Liverpool.
491
00:26:49,681 --> 00:26:51,961
Where's Dylan? Dylan!
492
00:26:53,081 --> 00:26:54,281
Dylan!
493
00:26:55,601 --> 00:26:58,120
Ah, hello, love. Have you had fun?
494
00:26:58,121 --> 00:27:01,920
Well, last night I lost my virginity
to a very nice lady
495
00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:04,720
who, I think, might have been
a prostitute!
496
00:27:04,721 --> 00:27:08,721
As if! Get your asses out here!
497
00:27:34,521 --> 00:27:35,921
Who gives away this woman?
498
00:27:35,922 --> 00:27:37,360
I do.
499
00:27:37,361 --> 00:27:39,281
Who has the rings?
500
00:27:41,761 --> 00:27:43,001
I do.
501
00:27:58,561 --> 00:28:00,361
Do this right.
502
00:28:03,441 --> 00:28:04,921
You may kiss the bride.
503
00:28:19,121 --> 00:28:20,840
Yeah!
504
00:28:20,841 --> 00:28:22,601
We got married!
505
00:28:24,001 --> 00:28:25,760
Yes! Woo!
506
00:28:25,761 --> 00:28:27,441
Peter, we did it!
507
00:28:28,961 --> 00:28:32,080
Are we going to do
the kiss of the brotherhood?
508
00:28:32,081 --> 00:28:34,640
Oh no, Peter, it's fine,
we're just going to skip that part.
509
00:28:34,641 --> 00:28:36,361
It doesn't matter.
It's not a big deal.
510
00:28:36,362 --> 00:28:38,240
Oh...
511
00:28:38,241 --> 00:28:39,521
Come 'ere.
512
00:28:41,081 --> 00:28:42,601
Woo!
513
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