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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,419 But the students will learn to part those clouds, to throw their gaze past mortal things, 2 00:00:05,484 --> 00:00:09,603 to look deep within themselves and find infinity 3 00:00:09,684 --> 00:00:14,083 and, ultimately, see the face of God! 4 00:00:14,084 --> 00:00:16,163 But, primarily, it's a potato van? 5 00:00:16,164 --> 00:00:19,163 Yeah, but my teachings are a pretty vital part of it. 6 00:00:19,164 --> 00:00:21,283 I'm just going to put down potato van. 7 00:00:21,284 --> 00:00:25,363 Ah, she's a beauty, just needs a little investment, 8 00:00:25,364 --> 00:00:28,283 get her up and running. And that's where you guys come in. 9 00:00:28,284 --> 00:00:30,523 OK, I can actually offer you �2,000 10 00:00:30,524 --> 00:00:33,363 at a comparatively small rate of interest! 11 00:00:33,364 --> 00:00:35,243 Ah, that's great news! 12 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:38,003 Gemma, what is a rate of interest? 13 00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:40,763 Interest is the amount that we charge you for taking out the loan. 14 00:00:40,764 --> 00:00:43,443 I'm sorry, I think I'm confused about something. 15 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,923 It's money on top of the loan? 16 00:00:45,924 --> 00:00:48,123 Yes, at a rate of four percent a year. 17 00:00:48,124 --> 00:00:50,363 So let me get this straight, 18 00:00:50,364 --> 00:00:52,963 it's money on top of the loan? 19 00:00:52,964 --> 00:00:54,443 Yes. 20 00:00:54,444 --> 00:00:56,963 Gemma, here's my problem, if we do this deal, 21 00:00:56,964 --> 00:01:01,043 then I'm going to have to give you more money back than you've given me! 22 00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:04,043 Everybody pays interest. It's how we make our money. 23 00:01:04,044 --> 00:01:06,203 Well, then, why doesn't anybody know about it? 24 00:01:06,204 --> 00:01:07,803 I mean, why the big cover-up? 25 00:01:07,804 --> 00:01:09,963 They do know about it. 26 00:01:09,964 --> 00:01:13,443 OK, listen up, people, wake-up call! 27 00:01:13,444 --> 00:01:16,203 If you borrow money from these leeches, 28 00:01:16,204 --> 00:01:20,563 they're going to charge you something that they like to call interest! 29 00:01:20,564 --> 00:01:22,802 Just thought you'd all be INTERESTED to know that. 30 00:01:22,803 --> 00:01:24,924 Please, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now. 31 00:01:24,925 --> 00:01:28,123 OK, fine, I'll leave, I'll go. Take these fine people's money. 32 00:01:28,124 --> 00:01:29,683 Stack it up into your bonuses. 33 00:01:29,684 --> 00:01:34,203 Blow it all on expensive suits and great cocaine and lap dances. 34 00:01:34,204 --> 00:01:36,243 Some people might even admire that! 35 00:01:36,244 --> 00:01:41,004 But not this guy, because this guy doesn't tango with bloodsuckers! 36 00:01:42,484 --> 00:01:43,843 Not even hot ones. 37 00:01:43,844 --> 00:01:46,924 Just want to teach people about love! 38 00:01:48,884 --> 00:01:51,883 The Complete History Of The Sheffield Steel Industry. 39 00:01:51,884 --> 00:01:53,804 Your old dad is going to wet himself. 40 00:01:53,805 --> 00:01:56,323 Oh, not like that time, in a good way. 41 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,883 You've spent far too much on him. 42 00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:00,083 You've already got the football tickets! 43 00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:02,443 It's Tony's first birthday since your mum died. 44 00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:03,924 I want him to have the perfect day. 45 00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:09,323 Ah, sweet Ken, anything to please his father-in-law, just like me. 46 00:02:09,324 --> 00:02:12,003 Cuckoo, we have to be on the road in ten minutes. 47 00:02:12,004 --> 00:02:14,003 You will be ready? Absolutely! 48 00:02:14,004 --> 00:02:15,763 Ten minutes, Cuckoo! 49 00:02:15,764 --> 00:02:17,523 It's all under control, Lorna! 50 00:02:17,524 --> 00:02:20,123 In fact, we will have time to spare! 51 00:02:20,124 --> 00:02:21,164 Huh! 52 00:02:22,404 --> 00:02:26,003 Dad, Granddad's got a lot of savings, hasn't he? 53 00:02:26,004 --> 00:02:28,083 No. No, Rachel. 54 00:02:28,084 --> 00:02:30,603 Cuckoo is not fleecing an old man to fix his van. 55 00:02:30,604 --> 00:02:33,763 He can get a loan and take some responsibility. 56 00:02:33,764 --> 00:02:37,003 Dylan, I woke you up over an hour ago! 57 00:02:37,004 --> 00:02:40,203 I'm not going. Charlotte Brown's having a party with an indoor pool. 58 00:02:40,204 --> 00:02:41,363 Dylan... 59 00:02:41,364 --> 00:02:44,283 Old boring man, pool full of fanny, deal with it! 60 00:02:44,284 --> 00:02:46,642 You're coming. OK, if I come, you have to get me decks. 61 00:02:46,643 --> 00:02:49,084 No. Reasoned argument means nothing to you, does it? 62 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:53,443 It's your granddad's first birthday since your nan died! We'll cheer him up, show him a good time 63 00:02:53,444 --> 00:02:55,604 and I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you were there! 64 00:02:55,605 --> 00:02:56,763 Said Hitler. 65 00:02:56,764 --> 00:02:58,364 Up! Now! 66 00:02:59,604 --> 00:03:02,243 That boy is unbelievable! 67 00:03:02,244 --> 00:03:05,843 Well, to be fair to Dylan, there is nothing to do at Granddad's. 68 00:03:05,844 --> 00:03:07,843 It's just you and him sitting in a corner 69 00:03:07,844 --> 00:03:10,723 talking about football and '80s politics! That's true! 70 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,363 Yeah. I like Tony! 71 00:03:13,364 --> 00:03:15,443 I don't know why we always go there anyway. 72 00:03:15,444 --> 00:03:18,124 Would it not be better if Granddad just came here? 73 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:23,483 Oh, my God, Nan's display bowl. 74 00:03:23,484 --> 00:03:25,844 Mum, you still haven't told Granddad? 75 00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,883 Hey, Ken, do you have a tie I can borrow? 76 00:03:32,884 --> 00:03:35,083 Are you more naked than you were before? 77 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:37,004 Hence the tie question. 78 00:03:38,564 --> 00:03:40,884 I hope Cuckoo's going to tone it down with your dad. 79 00:03:40,885 --> 00:03:43,043 I just know Dad's going to ask about the bowl. 80 00:03:43,044 --> 00:03:45,603 Mum loved that bowl all her life! 81 00:03:45,604 --> 00:03:46,684 Two weeks with me and... 82 00:03:47,844 --> 00:03:51,803 Lorna, just tell him you dropped it! You can't go on like this! 83 00:03:51,804 --> 00:03:53,763 No way am I going to tell him! 84 00:03:53,764 --> 00:03:56,523 I've just got to make sure he never comes to ours 85 00:03:56,524 --> 00:03:59,203 and avoid conversation wherever possible. 86 00:03:59,204 --> 00:04:01,283 With your father. That's healthy. 87 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,603 He's got a couple of decades max. 88 00:04:03,604 --> 00:04:05,763 I just need to keep him at a distance till then, 89 00:04:05,764 --> 00:04:08,684 and I'll deal with the psychological fallout later! 90 00:04:10,404 --> 00:04:14,403 Whoo! Reporting for duty, Captain Ken! 91 00:04:14,404 --> 00:04:16,243 Ready, mein Fuehrer! 92 00:04:16,244 --> 00:04:17,644 Let's roll! 93 00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:22,043 ? 88 Tibetan monks on the wall 94 00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:24,163 ? 88 Tibetan monks 95 00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,443 ? One set himself on fire In protest... ? 96 00:04:26,444 --> 00:04:27,763 Yeah. 97 00:04:27,764 --> 00:04:29,843 ? 87 Tibetan monks on the wall 98 00:04:29,844 --> 00:04:32,164 ? 87 Tibetan monks on the wall 87 Tibetan monks... ? 99 00:04:32,165 --> 00:04:34,883 Lorna, please make him stop. 100 00:04:34,884 --> 00:04:36,083 Cuckoo? Yeah? 101 00:04:36,084 --> 00:04:39,043 You're going to love Granddad, he's political like you! 102 00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:42,523 He was a shop steward in the miners strike under Thatcher. 103 00:04:42,524 --> 00:04:46,403 Oh, that's great, Ken, but it's the politics that I'm interested in. 104 00:04:46,404 --> 00:04:49,483 I can't wait. It's going to be a gloves off, no holds barred debate 105 00:04:49,484 --> 00:04:51,644 between me and the old guy! 106 00:04:52,924 --> 00:04:57,283 Now, where were we, singing gang? 107 00:04:57,284 --> 00:04:59,843 ? 99 Tibetan monks on the wall 108 00:04:59,844 --> 00:05:02,803 ? 99 Tibetan monks 109 00:05:02,804 --> 00:05:04,883 ? One set himself on fire In protest 110 00:05:04,884 --> 00:05:08,123 ? 98 Tibetan monks on the wall. ? 111 00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:09,644 It really happened! 112 00:05:10,964 --> 00:05:13,363 Ah, greetings, comrades. 113 00:05:13,364 --> 00:05:14,763 Happy birthday, Dad. 114 00:05:14,764 --> 00:05:17,363 Ken, great to see you. Great to see you. 115 00:05:17,364 --> 00:05:19,523 And how's my wonderful daughter? 116 00:05:19,524 --> 00:05:21,844 Great! Best get these inside, Dad! 117 00:05:22,924 --> 00:05:26,403 You all right, Granddad? Dylan. Mwah. Hello, Rachel. 118 00:05:26,404 --> 00:05:28,123 Hello, Granddad. Aw! 119 00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:30,404 Lovely to see you. And you. Yeah. 120 00:05:31,844 --> 00:05:35,244 Happy birthday, Tony. I'm your new grandson. 121 00:05:39,804 --> 00:05:41,324 And you smell great. 122 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,244 Oh, yeah! 123 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:47,963 Nice digs! 124 00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,563 Very nice! 125 00:05:49,564 --> 00:05:53,083 Look who's here. It's Floxie, in't it? 126 00:05:53,084 --> 00:05:56,243 Say hello, Floxie. 127 00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:58,043 Mmm! Mmm! 128 00:05:58,044 --> 00:06:00,523 Didn't know you'd bought a cat, Tony? 129 00:06:00,524 --> 00:06:02,643 It belongs to the Dixons up the road. 130 00:06:02,644 --> 00:06:05,163 Started visiting me a few months back. 131 00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:08,923 You came to look after me, didn't you, Floxie? 132 00:06:08,924 --> 00:06:14,443 Yes, you did! You did, didn't you? Didn't you? 133 00:06:14,444 --> 00:06:15,763 Mwah. 134 00:06:15,764 --> 00:06:20,283 You did, didn't you? You did, didn't you? Didn't you? 135 00:06:20,284 --> 00:06:24,123 You're a beautiful cat. A beautiful cat. 136 00:06:24,124 --> 00:06:26,963 Hello, Floxie! Mmm, mmm! 137 00:06:26,964 --> 00:06:28,884 Mmm, mmm! 138 00:06:34,564 --> 00:06:37,123 So, you're the bloke who married my little princess. 139 00:06:37,124 --> 00:06:39,563 Do you love her, Cuckoo? 140 00:06:39,564 --> 00:06:41,843 Oh, so fucking much, Tony. 141 00:06:41,844 --> 00:06:44,363 I mean, Rachel is my goddess. 142 00:06:44,364 --> 00:06:48,523 Her body is a temple within which I worship three times a day, 143 00:06:48,524 --> 00:06:49,963 bare minimum. 144 00:06:49,964 --> 00:06:53,284 Sometimes as many as seven, depending. 145 00:06:54,484 --> 00:06:57,444 You get a little tuckered out, don't you? 146 00:07:00,604 --> 00:07:02,883 So, what have you been doing then, Lorna? 147 00:07:02,884 --> 00:07:04,524 Oh, nothing much. 148 00:07:05,484 --> 00:07:07,723 Best get these cleared up! 149 00:07:07,724 --> 00:07:12,883 So, Tony, guess where we're going this afternoon? 150 00:07:12,884 --> 00:07:15,083 Oh, you didn't? 151 00:07:15,084 --> 00:07:17,443 Tickets for the Owls! That's great, Ken! 152 00:07:17,444 --> 00:07:19,044 I thought we could make a day of it. 153 00:07:19,045 --> 00:07:20,603 Fantastic! 154 00:07:20,604 --> 00:07:23,363 Tony, is this your late wife? 155 00:07:23,364 --> 00:07:25,803 Yeah. Yeah, that's my Debs. 156 00:07:25,804 --> 00:07:31,043 She's gorgeous. Or as they say in Sheffield, dead gorgeous! 157 00:07:31,044 --> 00:07:34,123 I thought we go up the Fox And Star after the match, 158 00:07:34,124 --> 00:07:36,003 a few birthday drinks. 159 00:07:36,004 --> 00:07:39,123 Jesus! Dylan, don't point that at people! 160 00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:40,604 What if it had been loaded! 161 00:07:40,605 --> 00:07:43,323 It's Granddad's Korean War rifle! 162 00:07:43,324 --> 00:07:44,924 I thought you liked history! 163 00:07:46,524 --> 00:07:50,403 ? For he's a jolly good fellow 164 00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:54,603 ? And so say all of us. ? 165 00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:56,083 Woo! 166 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,364 Woo! Happy birthday, Dad! 167 00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:00,163 Hey, did you make that cake, Ken? 168 00:08:00,164 --> 00:08:01,883 Banana cake. Your favourite! 169 00:08:01,884 --> 00:08:04,204 Yeah. All right, everybody, you know what time it is! 170 00:08:04,205 --> 00:08:06,323 Tony, you're going to get the birthday bumps! 171 00:08:06,324 --> 00:08:09,563 Come on, I got his legs! You guys grab the back! Watch his knee. Ow! 172 00:08:09,564 --> 00:08:12,043 Traditional birthday bumps! Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Ow! 173 00:08:12,044 --> 00:08:13,444 Here we go! Get 'em up there! 174 00:08:13,445 --> 00:08:16,723 Cuckoo, just sit down and be less enthusiastic. 175 00:08:16,724 --> 00:08:18,683 Oh! Yeah. Yeah. 176 00:08:18,684 --> 00:08:20,723 Happy birthday, Tony. 177 00:08:20,724 --> 00:08:22,763 Tony, would you like my birthday gift? 178 00:08:22,764 --> 00:08:24,243 Our gift, Ken! 179 00:08:24,244 --> 00:08:26,443 Yes, our gift. Except I chose and paid for it! 180 00:08:26,444 --> 00:08:28,523 It's in the car. I'll go and get it. Oh! 181 00:08:28,524 --> 00:08:30,644 Be prepared to be very surprised! 182 00:08:32,924 --> 00:08:34,164 What's that? 183 00:08:35,884 --> 00:08:37,724 Whoa! 184 00:08:39,404 --> 00:08:40,444 So... 185 00:08:41,484 --> 00:08:42,923 what does he do? 186 00:08:42,924 --> 00:08:44,403 He's got a potato van. 187 00:08:44,404 --> 00:08:47,403 Oh! Aye. Well, it's nice to see you happy, Rach. 188 00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:48,924 Are you sure? 189 00:08:50,484 --> 00:08:52,563 I only wish Debs was here to see you settled. 190 00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:54,523 Thanks, Granddad. 191 00:08:54,524 --> 00:08:57,043 Tony, Rach, Dylan, Lorna, 192 00:08:57,044 --> 00:08:59,563 something incredible has happened. 193 00:08:59,564 --> 00:09:00,924 I have an announcement to make. 194 00:09:03,164 --> 00:09:07,803 Tony, this cat, Mrs Floxie, 195 00:09:07,804 --> 00:09:10,724 is the reincarnated form of your dead wife Debra. 196 00:09:17,244 --> 00:09:18,764 Ta-dah! 197 00:09:20,324 --> 00:09:22,243 Is everything all right? 198 00:09:22,244 --> 00:09:25,243 Well, Cuckoo thinks the cat is my mum. 199 00:09:25,244 --> 00:09:27,563 What! Why? 200 00:09:27,564 --> 00:09:29,803 I can't explain it, Ken, I just feel it! 201 00:09:29,804 --> 00:09:31,523 Look, Tony... 202 00:09:31,524 --> 00:09:34,203 No. No, Ken, it makes sense. 203 00:09:34,204 --> 00:09:37,563 I remember the day Floxie first came to see me. 204 00:09:37,564 --> 00:09:39,763 It was back in late February. 205 00:09:39,764 --> 00:09:43,323 Debra's birthday is in March. 206 00:09:43,324 --> 00:09:45,483 No shit! 207 00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:48,243 That's not that much of a coincidence, Dad. 208 00:09:48,244 --> 00:09:49,684 Yeah, but didn't Nan love cats? 209 00:09:49,685 --> 00:09:53,203 Yeah, it's all coming together and look, 210 00:09:53,204 --> 00:09:59,804 about as similar as a cat and a woman can be! 211 00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:02,723 God, you're right! 212 00:10:02,724 --> 00:10:05,923 OK, OK, Cuckoo, Cuckoo, this is a fun idea, 213 00:10:05,924 --> 00:10:09,083 but I think it's pretty unlikely that that cat is Grandma! 214 00:10:09,084 --> 00:10:10,963 Unlikely, Ken, but not impossible. 215 00:10:10,964 --> 00:10:14,883 Well, kind of impossible, yes. I mean, is there any proof? 216 00:10:14,884 --> 00:10:16,603 It's like I said, I just feel it! 217 00:10:16,604 --> 00:10:18,163 You feel it? Yes! 218 00:10:18,164 --> 00:10:21,564 If only there was a way of us knowing for sure. 219 00:10:25,924 --> 00:10:27,483 Honoured feline, 220 00:10:27,484 --> 00:10:30,763 if you truly contain the spirit of our beloved Debra, 221 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,843 then please drink from the left saucer 222 00:10:33,844 --> 00:10:37,923 and if you do not, then drink of the right. 223 00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:39,404 And this will prove what? 224 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,203 It's a scientific test, Ken! 225 00:10:41,204 --> 00:10:43,484 It's not, Cuckoo, it's a wholly random experiment. 226 00:10:43,485 --> 00:10:44,843 The cat can't read! 227 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,083 Yeah, but Debra could. 228 00:10:47,084 --> 00:10:49,404 Come on, give me a little bit of credit here, Ken. 229 00:10:49,405 --> 00:10:54,524 OK, Tony, will you please release the cat/Debra? 230 00:11:16,484 --> 00:11:18,043 Oh! 231 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,404 Oh, wow! 232 00:11:20,524 --> 00:11:22,283 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! 233 00:11:22,284 --> 00:11:23,763 Ah! 234 00:11:23,764 --> 00:11:28,363 There were doubters, but now, we all see the truth, don't we? 235 00:11:28,364 --> 00:11:31,363 She's come back to me, Ken. 236 00:11:31,364 --> 00:11:35,363 Debra's come back to me, in the form of a cat. 237 00:11:35,364 --> 00:11:37,043 I did it! 238 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,764 For fuck's sake! 239 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:45,803 Ken, they've made a bed for her out of Mum's old clothes. 240 00:11:45,804 --> 00:11:48,443 Guess what? She really likes it! 241 00:11:48,444 --> 00:11:50,043 Why are you going along with this? 242 00:11:50,044 --> 00:11:54,203 Dad's happy! He's occupied, he's not asking me about the bowl! 243 00:11:54,204 --> 00:11:55,603 What's the problem? 244 00:11:55,604 --> 00:11:58,123 Lorna, we're atheists, remember? 245 00:11:58,124 --> 00:12:00,883 Yes, when it comes to God and the church, 246 00:12:00,884 --> 00:12:03,843 but this is like Eastern stuff, isn't it? 247 00:12:03,844 --> 00:12:05,923 It's a bit cooler. 248 00:12:05,924 --> 00:12:07,803 More... funky. 249 00:12:07,804 --> 00:12:09,283 I can dig it. 250 00:12:09,284 --> 00:12:11,443 Isn't it amazing? 251 00:12:11,444 --> 00:12:13,724 Ah, you know if anyone was going to pick up on Nan 252 00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:16,883 coming back in animal form, it would be Cuckoo. 253 00:12:16,884 --> 00:12:20,683 He's just more receptive than people like us. 254 00:12:20,684 --> 00:12:26,803 No! No, Rachel, you have three science A-Levels in Science! 255 00:12:26,804 --> 00:12:29,282 Hindus and Buddhists have believed in reincarnation 256 00:12:29,283 --> 00:12:31,044 for thousands of years, Dad. They have. 257 00:12:31,045 --> 00:12:33,963 I don't believe you two! Rachel, you've read The God Delusion! 258 00:12:33,964 --> 00:12:36,523 Lorna, I told you all about it at length! 259 00:12:36,524 --> 00:12:38,323 This is basically Paganism! 260 00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,523 What are we going to do next, sacrifice Dylan! 261 00:12:40,524 --> 00:12:42,763 What? Why me? 262 00:12:42,764 --> 00:12:44,643 Cos you're a massive virgin. 263 00:12:44,644 --> 00:12:46,964 Dah! 264 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:52,163 And, of course, the Egyptian goddess Bat was a cat, ironically, 265 00:12:52,164 --> 00:12:54,484 because, based on the name, you'd think it was a bat! 266 00:12:55,564 --> 00:12:57,283 Yeah, you definitely would. Yeah. 267 00:12:57,284 --> 00:13:00,363 Well, I don't know about bats and cats, Tony, 268 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:03,403 but are you ready for the Owls? 269 00:13:03,404 --> 00:13:05,643 I thought we'd get to Hillsborough early. 270 00:13:05,644 --> 00:13:07,804 Ken, my wife's just got back from beyond the veil. 271 00:13:07,805 --> 00:13:11,283 I'm not about to go to the football. That would be really rude. 272 00:13:11,284 --> 00:13:12,884 Right. 273 00:13:14,364 --> 00:13:16,563 It's just I got these over a month ago 274 00:13:16,564 --> 00:13:18,484 so we would have really good seats. 275 00:13:18,485 --> 00:13:21,124 They did cost �90. Oh, Ken. 276 00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:28,083 Ooh, remember that, Debs? 277 00:13:28,084 --> 00:13:29,963 I remember you in that bikini. 278 00:13:29,964 --> 00:13:31,563 Not a fella on that beach 279 00:13:31,564 --> 00:13:34,003 could take his eyes off you. 280 00:13:34,004 --> 00:13:36,243 Oh, you remember! 281 00:13:36,244 --> 00:13:38,283 Couldn't wait to get you back to the hotel. 282 00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:39,843 Dad! What? 283 00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:42,603 You think you youngsters invented sex. 284 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:45,644 We know different, don't we, Debra? 285 00:13:46,924 --> 00:13:48,564 I'm going to go upstairs now. 286 00:13:57,764 --> 00:14:01,284 Dylan, stop playing with the gun! 287 00:14:05,284 --> 00:14:08,523 They think the cat is Grandma! I mean, Jesus! 288 00:14:08,524 --> 00:14:10,364 So there is one rationalist in the family! 289 00:14:10,365 --> 00:14:12,643 People don't come back after death in any form! 290 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,643 Thank you. 291 00:14:14,644 --> 00:14:17,443 There's nothing afterwards, there's no point or meaning to life. 292 00:14:17,444 --> 00:14:20,763 You know, that's why you should just chill out about hurting people 293 00:14:20,764 --> 00:14:26,443 and get on with accumulating money and possessions and sexual partners. 294 00:14:26,444 --> 00:14:27,923 Right. 295 00:14:27,924 --> 00:14:31,723 Would you... would you like to come to the pub with me? 296 00:14:31,724 --> 00:14:33,243 The pub? 297 00:14:33,244 --> 00:14:37,643 The Fox And Star in town. It's a nice little boozer. It'd be good to get out of here, right. 298 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,003 Is this a trick? No. 299 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:43,163 You're going to take me to the pub and buy me drinks? 300 00:14:43,164 --> 00:14:45,683 I'm going to buy you a limited number of drinks. 301 00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:47,964 Right, I'll get my phone. 302 00:14:55,924 --> 00:14:57,204 Ah. 303 00:14:59,124 --> 00:15:00,524 Bloody cat! 304 00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:03,804 Pow! 305 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,804 Pow! 306 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,083 Ahh! 307 00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:16,163 Ahh! No! 308 00:15:16,164 --> 00:15:17,404 Ahh! 309 00:15:19,724 --> 00:15:21,323 Did you just shoot the cat? 310 00:15:21,324 --> 00:15:24,404 There were bullets in this! Did you not check?! 311 00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:31,403 So it's like a fast-food van 312 00:15:31,404 --> 00:15:34,323 and it's like a spiritual counselling centre? 313 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,603 You have a fast mind, Tony. 314 00:15:36,604 --> 00:15:39,684 I mean, you were onto that like a fucking jackal. 315 00:15:42,204 --> 00:15:44,203 Ken! 316 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:47,003 Me and this old minge are just bonding over my philosophies. 317 00:15:47,004 --> 00:15:48,884 Come join us! I'm just going down the shed. 318 00:15:48,885 --> 00:15:53,163 Why? Memories. Great memories! 319 00:15:53,164 --> 00:15:55,563 Remember that time we tidied the borders? 320 00:15:55,564 --> 00:15:58,283 No. No! 321 00:15:58,284 --> 00:16:00,323 It was phenomenal! 322 00:16:00,324 --> 00:16:02,082 What are you doing with my old kit bag? 323 00:16:02,083 --> 00:16:04,524 Do you know, I've absolutely no idea why I picked this up?! 324 00:16:06,644 --> 00:16:08,723 This has been great! 325 00:16:08,724 --> 00:16:10,084 You two get on with it. 326 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:15,523 Anyhow, this van, I've got a bit saved away. 327 00:16:15,524 --> 00:16:16,963 I could help out. 328 00:16:16,964 --> 00:16:20,603 Oh, Tony, I am profoundly moved. 329 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:23,563 I mean, I will remember this day always. 330 00:16:23,564 --> 00:16:27,643 My philosophical potato van is for ever indebted to you. 331 00:16:27,644 --> 00:16:31,843 And when people inevitably thank me for my food and teachings, 332 00:16:31,844 --> 00:16:34,763 I will say to them, "Don't thank me, 333 00:16:34,764 --> 00:16:37,403 "Thank Tony... 334 00:16:37,404 --> 00:16:38,844 "and me." 335 00:16:39,924 --> 00:16:42,043 Ah, Ken, where are you going now, then? 336 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:45,363 Thought I might take Dylan down to the Fox And Star. 337 00:16:45,364 --> 00:16:48,603 Oh, well, we could all go! Oh, could take Debra! 338 00:16:48,604 --> 00:16:52,443 Ha! Debra! You've just got her back and then you disappear to the pub! 339 00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:56,044 Debs won't begrudge me a jar at the Fox. Come on, Cuckoo. 340 00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:03,283 An afternoon pint! 341 00:17:03,284 --> 00:17:05,523 Come and meet my friend Lenny. 342 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,083 If I keep this a secret for you, you have to get me decks. 343 00:17:08,084 --> 00:17:11,483 Fine, I just need time to dump the cat! You could distract them. Can you do that? 344 00:17:11,484 --> 00:17:13,124 Yeah, yeah, don't worry. Don't worry. 345 00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:16,243 Yeah, great to see you, Len. 346 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,324 Just like old times, eh? Aye. Aye. 347 00:17:19,724 --> 00:17:21,364 Cheers, Len. 348 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:28,163 Today is just the best! 349 00:17:28,164 --> 00:17:32,124 Well, if everyone's got a drink, I'm just going to use the facilities. 350 00:17:33,964 --> 00:17:36,243 I love this place. Yeah. 351 00:17:36,244 --> 00:17:38,722 What does everyone think of the new Rihanna album? 352 00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:40,004 I haven't heard it. Who? 353 00:17:40,005 --> 00:17:42,643 I thought Ken was going to the loo! 354 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,443 Why's he going outside? 355 00:17:44,444 --> 00:17:48,563 Hey, watch this! Look, my... my beer mat sticks to the glass! 356 00:17:48,564 --> 00:17:52,043 Isn't that just really cool? Granddad, look! 357 00:17:52,044 --> 00:17:55,323 I've not much life left, son. Please don't waste it. 358 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,244 I'm just going to go and see what he's doing! 359 00:17:57,245 --> 00:17:59,123 No! 360 00:17:59,124 --> 00:18:00,564 Mum... I... 361 00:18:01,844 --> 00:18:04,524 I'm beginning to ask questions about my sexuality! 362 00:18:05,644 --> 00:18:06,764 Wow! 363 00:18:07,844 --> 00:18:11,404 Oh, Dylie. Go on! Go on! 364 00:18:30,604 --> 00:18:34,483 And so, after a lot of soul-searching, 365 00:18:34,484 --> 00:18:38,963 I finally came to the conclusion that I... am... 366 00:18:38,964 --> 00:18:40,523 not gay! 367 00:18:40,524 --> 00:18:43,563 Yes! But, you know, it was really good to question it 368 00:18:43,564 --> 00:18:47,803 and I wanted to share that with you, my family. 369 00:18:47,804 --> 00:18:51,643 You wanted to share the fact that you're not gay and you never were? 370 00:18:51,644 --> 00:18:55,883 Yeah. It really feels amazing to get it off my chest. 371 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,963 Wow, Dylan, that was beautiful. 372 00:18:57,964 --> 00:19:00,323 I am so honoured that you shared that. 373 00:19:00,324 --> 00:19:03,804 I mean, come on, give the little guy some props, that took courage! 374 00:19:06,164 --> 00:19:07,603 What did I miss? 375 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:10,483 Dylan came out as heterosexual. I did. 376 00:19:10,484 --> 00:19:13,724 Well, I've long suspected as much. 377 00:19:14,924 --> 00:19:18,203 And for being so candid and honest, I'm going to buy you some decks. 378 00:19:18,204 --> 00:19:19,803 Yes! 379 00:19:19,804 --> 00:19:22,364 That's awesome. You deserve that. 380 00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,124 What are decks? 381 00:19:33,124 --> 00:19:37,403 Ah, I can't remember enjoying a trip to Dad's so much. 382 00:19:37,404 --> 00:19:39,883 Whatever you say about that cat, Ken, 383 00:19:39,884 --> 00:19:41,724 she's brought him out of himself! 384 00:19:44,364 --> 00:19:47,363 The Dixons called, you know, Debra's owners. 385 00:19:47,364 --> 00:19:49,363 Said they haven't seen her all evening. 386 00:19:49,364 --> 00:19:51,323 Dad, I'm sure she's fine. 387 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,763 You know, cats go walkabout all the time. 388 00:19:53,764 --> 00:19:56,563 Yeah. Yeah, you're right. 389 00:19:56,564 --> 00:19:59,444 Night-night. Night. Night. 390 00:20:00,804 --> 00:20:04,564 Silly old man, worrying about nothing. 391 00:20:06,324 --> 00:20:09,084 Well, yes... 392 00:20:12,484 --> 00:20:15,523 Except the cat's never coming back, 393 00:20:15,524 --> 00:20:17,163 because it's dead. 394 00:20:17,164 --> 00:20:19,603 What! How do you know? 395 00:20:19,604 --> 00:20:24,163 I shot it! Accidentally, with Tony's rifle. 396 00:20:24,164 --> 00:20:27,283 You accidentally killed it with a gun? 397 00:20:27,284 --> 00:20:28,564 Where's the body? 398 00:20:28,565 --> 00:20:30,683 It's in a skip at the Fox And Star! 399 00:20:30,684 --> 00:20:32,644 Well, I don't know what to think, Ken. 400 00:20:32,645 --> 00:20:34,803 I mean, in a way, you've killed my mother! 401 00:20:34,804 --> 00:20:36,323 Oh, not really! 402 00:20:36,324 --> 00:20:37,764 Well, in a way! 403 00:20:39,164 --> 00:20:40,803 When are you going to tell Dad? 404 00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:44,643 Mmm, I was thinking... never! Because he'll hate my guts for the rest of his life! 405 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,562 Oh, come on, Ken, you have to tell him! 406 00:20:46,563 --> 00:20:48,042 You know I hate telling lies! 407 00:20:48,043 --> 00:20:50,324 It didn't seem to bother you about your mum's bowl! 408 00:20:50,325 --> 00:20:53,564 That was pottery! This is the death of a family member! 409 00:20:55,484 --> 00:20:56,883 I'm going to tell him. 410 00:20:56,884 --> 00:20:59,243 Then I'm going to tell him about the bowl! 411 00:20:59,244 --> 00:21:00,884 Oh, you! 412 00:21:03,924 --> 00:21:07,164 Are you finding this blackmail standoff a bit sexy? 413 00:21:09,284 --> 00:21:11,243 Maybe a little bit! 414 00:21:11,244 --> 00:21:13,044 But not enough, Ken! 415 00:21:19,204 --> 00:21:23,483 Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. 416 00:21:23,484 --> 00:21:24,963 Mmm. 417 00:21:24,964 --> 00:21:27,363 All right then, Anne, eh... 418 00:21:27,364 --> 00:21:31,364 Well, we'll just, we'll just soldier on. Mmm. 419 00:21:33,004 --> 00:21:36,643 No sign of her this morning. They're sure something's amiss. 420 00:21:36,644 --> 00:21:38,363 Oh, Granddad! 421 00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:40,763 Oh, I'm sure she's not dead. 422 00:21:40,764 --> 00:21:42,683 Well, the Dixons fear the worst. 423 00:21:42,684 --> 00:21:44,803 She's never been out this long before. 424 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:48,003 Well, in that case, I'm sure we can rule out foul play. 425 00:21:48,004 --> 00:21:50,043 It's nothing to do with anyone here! 426 00:21:50,044 --> 00:21:51,603 Yeah, Tony, don't worry, 427 00:21:51,604 --> 00:21:54,403 we won't stop until we find out exactly what happened to her. 428 00:21:54,404 --> 00:21:55,963 Absolutely we won't. 429 00:21:55,964 --> 00:21:59,883 But, look, this is a mad, crazy thought, 430 00:21:59,884 --> 00:22:02,124 but maybe, just maybe... 431 00:22:03,724 --> 00:22:05,684 this is what Debra wanted to happen. 432 00:22:05,685 --> 00:22:10,523 Maybe she came back as a cat just to see you, Tony, 433 00:22:10,524 --> 00:22:15,723 just to reconnect for a short time before she went back to Heaven. 434 00:22:15,724 --> 00:22:17,083 You think? 435 00:22:17,084 --> 00:22:18,283 Yes. 436 00:22:18,284 --> 00:22:21,763 As soon as you realised that it was her, 437 00:22:21,764 --> 00:22:25,763 and you were able to say goodbye properly, she left us. 438 00:22:25,764 --> 00:22:26,803 Mmm. 439 00:22:26,804 --> 00:22:28,923 What? Are you serious? 440 00:22:28,924 --> 00:22:31,643 Maybe her spirit wasn't strong enough 441 00:22:31,644 --> 00:22:33,643 to inhabit a cat for such a long time. 442 00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:36,403 Her spirit wasn't strong enough?! 443 00:22:36,404 --> 00:22:38,803 This is Debra we're talking about! 444 00:22:38,804 --> 00:22:41,283 I mean, it doesn't make any sense, Ken! 445 00:22:41,284 --> 00:22:44,883 Do you know what, Cuckoo, I really feel it does. 446 00:22:44,884 --> 00:22:46,203 I feel it does, too. 447 00:22:46,204 --> 00:22:48,563 I think it's entirely plausible. 448 00:22:48,564 --> 00:22:50,723 Oh, come on! 449 00:22:50,724 --> 00:22:53,243 No, Cuckoo, they're right. 450 00:22:53,244 --> 00:22:56,443 Maybe she just came to give me a message. 451 00:22:56,444 --> 00:23:00,124 Maybe I should just accept that she's gone. 452 00:23:08,404 --> 00:23:10,523 Anne! It's all OK, Tony! 453 00:23:10,524 --> 00:23:12,283 Panic over, she's coming back. 454 00:23:12,284 --> 00:23:13,963 What? What? 455 00:23:13,964 --> 00:23:18,043 Ah, Ken, sorry, this is Anne Dixon, Debra's owner. 456 00:23:18,044 --> 00:23:21,123 Yeah, we remembered we had Floxie micro-chipped when she was a kitten, 457 00:23:21,124 --> 00:23:23,684 so, she's OK. In fact, she's on the move! 458 00:23:25,164 --> 00:23:26,723 Oh, wow! 459 00:23:26,724 --> 00:23:28,763 Well, she's moving pretty fast! 460 00:23:28,764 --> 00:23:31,523 She's almost here! 461 00:23:31,524 --> 00:23:34,403 Ken, Debra's coming back! 462 00:23:34,404 --> 00:23:38,043 Oh, Granddad, she's just been off on an adventure! 463 00:23:38,044 --> 00:23:41,123 You've been so brave, Tony. So proud of you right now! Thank goodness. 464 00:23:41,124 --> 00:23:44,083 Look, we really should think about making a move. 465 00:23:44,084 --> 00:23:46,963 I mean, Sunday traffic can be murder. 466 00:23:46,964 --> 00:23:49,043 I mean, death. I mean, accidental death. 467 00:23:49,044 --> 00:23:52,563 It says she will be here any minute. 468 00:23:52,564 --> 00:23:54,003 Len! 469 00:23:54,004 --> 00:23:57,603 Hiya, Tony. I found your sports bag in the car park. 470 00:23:57,604 --> 00:24:00,603 Oh, yeah, Ken was using it. Yes. Yes, I was. 471 00:24:00,604 --> 00:24:03,083 It says she's here or very near! 472 00:24:03,084 --> 00:24:04,924 What's going on, Tony? Oh, a missing cat. 473 00:24:04,925 --> 00:24:07,003 She must be hiding somewhere. Come on, Debra! 474 00:24:07,004 --> 00:24:09,003 Debra! I'll help. Come on out, puss-puss. 475 00:24:09,004 --> 00:24:11,203 Floxie! Puss, puss, puss. 476 00:24:11,204 --> 00:24:14,683 Floxie! Come on! I'll just get this out of the way, pop it in the shed. 477 00:24:14,684 --> 00:24:16,323 No, Ken, it's fine, I got it. 478 00:24:16,324 --> 00:24:19,123 I'd prefer to do it myself. Yes, Cuckoo, let Ken have it! 479 00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,683 Guys, it's fine, you should be looking for Debra. I got it. 480 00:24:21,684 --> 00:24:23,324 Cuckoo, give me the bag, please! 481 00:24:24,564 --> 00:24:26,003 That was a cat bell. 482 00:24:26,004 --> 00:24:29,643 What have you got in this bag, Ken? What's that caught in the zip? 483 00:24:29,644 --> 00:24:31,603 Give me the bag, Cuckoo! 484 00:24:31,604 --> 00:24:33,723 It's fur! Fur? You mean cat fur? 485 00:24:33,724 --> 00:24:35,963 That's where you're wrong, actually, 486 00:24:35,964 --> 00:24:39,763 because this happens to be a Russian hat. 487 00:24:39,764 --> 00:24:42,803 OK. OK. We gotta open this bag now! 488 00:24:42,804 --> 00:24:43,843 No! Arh! 489 00:24:43,844 --> 00:24:46,763 No! Arh! Arh! 490 00:24:46,764 --> 00:24:48,763 Oh. 491 00:24:48,764 --> 00:24:49,884 Ah! 492 00:24:51,364 --> 00:24:54,603 What is a dead cat doing in this bag? 493 00:24:54,604 --> 00:24:55,683 Ken? 494 00:24:55,684 --> 00:24:58,043 Hold on a second, Tony! 495 00:24:58,044 --> 00:25:02,723 I need to try and work out exactly what on Earth has happened here. 496 00:25:02,724 --> 00:25:06,804 Did you kill Debra and then try to cover it up? 497 00:25:09,004 --> 00:25:10,164 Fair dos, Tony. 498 00:25:11,884 --> 00:25:14,084 I accidentally shot her with your rifle. 499 00:25:17,644 --> 00:25:20,003 Dad, I broke Mum's bowl. 500 00:25:20,004 --> 00:25:22,484 Ah, that's fine, love. 501 00:25:26,204 --> 00:25:27,444 Oh, Ken. 502 00:25:29,524 --> 00:25:34,203 Well, Tony'll be OK. He's strong. 503 00:25:34,204 --> 00:25:37,844 But Ken, I have to say I disagree with your decision to murder the cat. 504 00:25:39,044 --> 00:25:41,763 Well, as I said to you, it was an accident. 505 00:25:41,764 --> 00:25:45,123 Yeah, but you and I both know there are no accidents. 506 00:25:45,124 --> 00:25:47,803 Your subconscious did what it wanted to do 507 00:25:47,804 --> 00:25:49,484 and that was to shoot and kill a cat. 508 00:25:49,485 --> 00:25:53,203 Hey, look, I'm not judging, I just think it was horrible and wrong. 509 00:25:53,204 --> 00:25:54,803 Can we leave it? 510 00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:57,924 Yeah. Consider it leaved. 511 00:25:59,284 --> 00:26:00,682 It's funny though, you know, 512 00:26:00,683 --> 00:26:03,164 Tony has to forgive you, cos you're his son-in-law. 513 00:26:03,165 --> 00:26:08,043 I mean, no matter how annoying you are, he's gotta live with it! 514 00:26:08,044 --> 00:26:11,284 Just kind of makes you realise how lucky me and you are, you know? 515 00:26:13,724 --> 00:26:16,283 ? 99 Tibetan monks on the wall 516 00:26:16,284 --> 00:26:18,923 ? 99 Tibetan monks 517 00:26:18,924 --> 00:26:22,443 ? One burned himself in protest 518 00:26:22,444 --> 00:26:26,424 ? 98 Tibetan monks on the wall. ? 519 00:26:26,472 --> 00:26:54,000 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 520 00:26:54,050 --> 00:26:58,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39271

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