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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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I don't know yet.
3
00:00:13,069 --> 00:00:14,236
Oh!
4
00:00:14,237 --> 00:00:16,471
Will you sit there?
You're making me nervous.
5
00:00:16,472 --> 00:00:20,274
I feel like I'm reading another
one of your pregnancy tests.
6
00:00:20,275 --> 00:00:24,460
I'm sorry, Barb, but I just
can't make any less money, okay?
7
00:00:24,461 --> 00:00:26,729
I'm already using
generic pregnancy tests.
8
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:30,327
Which I think are
just Popsicle sticks.
9
00:00:30,328 --> 00:00:31,929
Yeah, I guess that explains
10
00:00:31,930 --> 00:00:34,877
why there are riddles
printed on them.
11
00:00:36,595 --> 00:00:38,456
Hmm. That can't be right.
12
00:00:38,457 --> 00:00:39,980
I must have made a mistake.
13
00:00:39,981 --> 00:00:41,426
Oh. We're in the black.
14
00:00:41,427 --> 00:00:43,280
Oh, the black!
15
00:00:43,281 --> 00:00:44,931
I knew it! It's over.
16
00:00:44,932 --> 00:00:46,782
Okay, well, then,
I'm just gonna have
17
00:00:46,783 --> 00:00:48,724
to pull Ritchie out
of private school,
18
00:00:48,725 --> 00:00:50,774
and we'll live in my Prius.
19
00:00:50,775 --> 00:00:53,654
Oh, God, I hope I'm not pregnant.
20
00:00:53,655 --> 00:00:58,214
No. I keep telling you-
black is the best there is.
21
00:00:59,958 --> 00:01:03,438
Uh, Barb, I-I don't think
you're supposed to say that.
22
00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:06,184
No. We made money.
23
00:01:06,185 --> 00:01:07,327
For the first time in five years,
24
00:01:07,528 --> 00:01:09,902
we can actually cut
ourselves a paycheck.
25
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,476
A paycheck?!
26
00:01:12,148 --> 00:01:13,484
Oh!
27
00:01:13,485 --> 00:01:15,659
Hey, Barb, if you
are messing with me,
28
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,166
you better tell me right now,
29
00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:19,707
because I don't think
I could handle it.
30
00:01:19,708 --> 00:01:21,044
I'm-I'm serious.
31
00:01:21,045 --> 00:01:22,417
Ready for how much?
32
00:01:22,418 --> 00:01:23,121
Huh?
33
00:01:23,122 --> 00:01:24,825
Each of us is getting...
34
00:01:24,826 --> 00:01:25,995
$2,000!
35
00:01:25,996 --> 00:01:27,634
Oh!
36
00:01:27,635 --> 00:01:28,504
Shut up!
37
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,440
Oh, you shut up!
38
00:01:29,441 --> 00:01:31,247
I love this job! I love this job!
39
00:01:31,248 --> 00:01:32,450
I love you, Barb.
40
00:01:32,451 --> 00:01:33,587
I love you, Christine.
41
00:01:33,588 --> 00:01:34,690
You know what this is?
42
00:01:34,691 --> 00:01:35,993
This is our screw-you money
43
00:01:35,994 --> 00:01:38,268
for all those people who
said we couldn't do it!
44
00:01:38,269 --> 00:01:39,338
Screw you, Christine!
45
00:01:39,339 --> 00:01:40,508
Screw you, Barb!
46
00:01:42,012 --> 00:01:44,319
Oh, my God, we are
successful businesswomen.
47
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:45,722
Ah!
48
00:01:45,723 --> 00:01:48,697
I know exactly what I'm going
to do with my money, too.
49
00:01:48,698 --> 00:01:50,202
Ernest and Julio Gallo are going
50
00:01:50,203 --> 00:01:53,008
to be jumping up and down
in their office, too.
51
00:01:53,009 --> 00:01:54,713
No, I'm not gonna buy wine.
52
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,317
I'm gonna buy a dress.
53
00:01:56,318 --> 00:01:57,353
Yeah.
54
00:01:57,354 --> 00:01:59,358
I've had my eye on it forever.
55
00:01:59,359 --> 00:02:00,528
It's insane.
56
00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:02,199
It's Dior.
57
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,204
And it's $2,000.
58
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:05,840
And I'm getting it.
59
00:02:05,841 --> 00:02:07,511
Hmm. $2,000 for a dress?
60
00:02:07,512 --> 00:02:10,685
Wow. For that kind of money,
that dress better do for you
61
00:02:10,686 --> 00:02:13,792
what you do for the
electricity guy.
62
00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:15,430
Seriously, you should
see this dress.
63
00:02:15,431 --> 00:02:17,568
It's elegant. It's sophisticated.
64
00:02:17,569 --> 00:02:20,574
It makes my boobs look ginormous.
65
00:02:21,711 --> 00:02:24,148
I think I'm going to
give mine to charity.
66
00:02:27,724 --> 00:02:29,627
That's a good one.
67
00:02:29,628 --> 00:02:32,934
And by charity,
what do you mean, the track?
68
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:35,373
Do you know how far $2,
000 could go?
69
00:02:35,374 --> 00:02:37,410
For $2,000, I could build a well
70
00:02:37,411 --> 00:02:40,048
and provide water for
an entire village.
71
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:45,961
I don't want to give
my money to charity.
72
00:02:45,962 --> 00:02:47,331
You don't have to.
73
00:02:47,332 --> 00:02:49,435
Yeah, but if you do,
then I'm gonna feel
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00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,406
like a bad person for
buying the dress.
75
00:02:51,407 --> 00:02:52,541
Look, I'm not judging you.
76
00:02:52,542 --> 00:02:54,445
You can do whatever you
want with your money.
77
00:02:54,446 --> 00:02:56,014
Yes, you are.
You're always judging me.
78
00:02:56,015 --> 00:02:57,985
Every time you read one
of my pregnancy tests,
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00:02:57,986 --> 00:02:59,120
you're filled with judgment.
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00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:01,692
That's not judgment.
That's disgust.
81
00:03:02,528 --> 00:03:04,631
Hold the damn stick yourself.
82
00:03:06,101 --> 00:03:09,039
You can't make me feel bad
about getting the dress, Barb.
83
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,275
I'm not trying to.
84
00:03:10,276 --> 00:03:11,043
Well, I don't.
85
00:03:11,044 --> 00:03:12,045
Well, you shouldn't.
86
00:03:12,046 --> 00:03:13,315
Screw you, Barb.
87
00:03:13,316 --> 00:03:15,184
Screw you, Christine.
88
00:03:15,688 --> 00:03:22,757
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
89
00:03:22,865 --> 00:03:24,267
Hey.
90
00:03:24,268 --> 00:03:26,972
I just got a strange phone
call from New Christine,
91
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,575
and I'm a little freaked out.
92
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:32,348
I've got $2,000 in my bra.
93
00:03:32,349 --> 00:03:35,553
I think Richard is up to something.
94
00:03:35,554 --> 00:03:36,855
Am I a bad person?
95
00:03:36,856 --> 00:03:39,260
Yes. You never listen
to what anybody says.
96
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,463
Barb thinks I'm a bad person.
97
00:03:41,464 --> 00:03:43,066
I think Richard's having an affair.
98
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:44,669
Just because I don't
give money to charity?
99
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:47,039
I am talking.
100
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,208
Oh, I'm sorry.
101
00:03:48,209 --> 00:03:49,610
I was listening. Okay.
102
00:03:49,611 --> 00:03:52,181
So, why do you think Richard
is going to the fair?
103
00:03:52,182 --> 00:03:53,417
Richard told New Christine
104
00:03:53,418 --> 00:03:55,820
that he and I were
going to the movies,
105
00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:57,222
and then she called me
106
00:03:57,223 --> 00:03:59,660
because she wanted him to
bring her some Sno-Caps.
107
00:03:59,661 --> 00:04:00,795
Oh, I hate Sno-Caps.
108
00:04:00,796 --> 00:04:02,130
You know what I love?
109
00:04:02,131 --> 00:04:05,970
I love that giant turkey leg
that you get at the fair.
110
00:04:05,971 --> 00:04:07,405
Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
111
00:04:07,406 --> 00:04:08,574
You were talking.
112
00:04:08,575 --> 00:04:10,577
Okay, I'm listening.
113
00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:11,712
Don't you get it?
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00:04:11,713 --> 00:04:13,548
Richard and I had no
plan to go to the movies.
115
00:04:13,549 --> 00:04:14,683
I think he's having an affair.
116
00:04:14,684 --> 00:04:16,119
No. Richard doesn't have affairs.
117
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,287
He couldn't handle it.
118
00:04:17,288 --> 00:04:18,521
He's a horrible liar.
119
00:04:18,522 --> 00:04:19,989
You can always tell he's lying
120
00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:22,090
because he repeats your
questions back to you.
121
00:04:22,091 --> 00:04:23,291
It's a dead giveaway.
122
00:04:23,292 --> 00:04:24,592
No. He probably just forgot
123
00:04:24,593 --> 00:04:26,060
he wasn't going to the movies.
124
00:04:26,061 --> 00:04:28,895
I mean, you know, at his age,
you forget things.
125
00:04:28,896 --> 00:04:31,130
Where is my $2,000?
126
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:39,101
Hey, guys. Hey.
127
00:04:39,102 --> 00:04:41,135
Ritchie, do you think
I'm a bad person?
128
00:04:41,136 --> 00:04:42,969
Yeah.
129
00:04:45,271 --> 00:04:49,007
So, Richard, where are
you going tonight?
130
00:04:49,008 --> 00:04:51,075
Where am I going tonight? Work.
131
00:04:51,076 --> 00:04:52,276
You know, New Christine
called me today.
132
00:04:52,277 --> 00:04:53,944
Did you tell her we were
going to the movies?
133
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:56,346
Did I tell her we were
going to the movies? No.
134
00:04:56,347 --> 00:04:58,481
Why are you repeating
everything he says?
135
00:04:58,482 --> 00:05:01,350
Why am I repeating
everything he says? I'm not.
136
00:05:01,351 --> 00:05:04,119
Are you lying? Am I lying?
137
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:04,686
Is he lying?
138
00:05:04,687 --> 00:05:06,888
I got to go.
139
00:05:08,657 --> 00:05:10,724
Oh, yeah, he's lying, all right.
140
00:05:10,725 --> 00:05:11,725
Well, what are we going to do?
141
00:05:11,726 --> 00:05:13,293
I don't know.
142
00:05:13,294 --> 00:05:17,096
I mean, on the one hand,
I really want to buy that dress,
143
00:05:17,097 --> 00:05:18,697
and then on the other hand,
144
00:05:18,698 --> 00:05:21,967
I really want to go to the fair.
145
00:05:25,915 --> 00:05:27,882
Well, thank you for
seeing me, Father.
146
00:05:27,883 --> 00:05:30,618
Oh, please don't call me Father.
147
00:05:30,619 --> 00:05:31,785
Oh.
148
00:05:31,786 --> 00:05:33,287
Sorry.
149
00:05:33,288 --> 00:05:34,955
Daddy.
150
00:05:34,956 --> 00:05:37,925
Pastor Ed is fine.
151
00:05:37,926 --> 00:05:41,895
Actually, anything...
other than Daddy.
152
00:05:43,731 --> 00:05:44,998
What brings you here?
153
00:05:44,999 --> 00:05:47,601
You haven't been to church
in over three years.
154
00:05:47,602 --> 00:05:48,768
Oh, that's not true.
155
00:05:48,769 --> 00:05:49,936
Oh, I've been here.
156
00:05:49,937 --> 00:05:51,103
I sit in the back.
157
00:05:51,104 --> 00:05:52,338
I've-I've seen
158
00:05:52,339 --> 00:05:55,974
a lot of your sermons on, um...
159
00:05:55,975 --> 00:06:00,012
um... God.
160
00:06:00,013 --> 00:06:02,547
And, um... Mary.
161
00:06:05,584 --> 00:06:08,286
Okay, so...
162
00:06:08,287 --> 00:06:10,388
That pretty much covers it.
163
00:06:10,389 --> 00:06:13,124
Um, what's going on?
164
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:15,460
Well, I'm in the middle
of a spiritual crisis,
165
00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:17,628
and I'm having a
really tough time. Hmm.
166
00:06:17,629 --> 00:06:19,030
And, um, is this the part
167
00:06:19,031 --> 00:06:20,998
where you bring me
some of that wine?
168
00:06:20,999 --> 00:06:23,300
No.
169
00:06:23,301 --> 00:06:24,635
No? Oh.
170
00:06:24,636 --> 00:06:25,936
Well...
171
00:06:25,937 --> 00:06:29,573
I recently came into
some screw-you money.
172
00:06:31,443 --> 00:06:34,711
Please don't tell me how
you came into the money.
173
00:06:34,712 --> 00:06:37,513
There's this dress
that I really love.
174
00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:39,682
Have you ever loved
anything so much
175
00:06:39,683 --> 00:06:42,351
that you'd be willing to
give up everything for it?
176
00:06:42,352 --> 00:06:44,553
Well.
177
00:06:45,455 --> 00:06:47,990
Really? That outfit?
178
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:51,494
What's your question, Christine?
179
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,563
Does it make me a bad person
180
00:06:53,564 --> 00:06:57,133
if I spend the money on myself
instead of giving it to charity?
181
00:06:57,134 --> 00:07:00,269
I would say you should do what
your heart tells you to do.
182
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:03,305
Well, my heart has made some
pretty bad decisions in my life.
183
00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:04,940
My heart thought it was a good idea
184
00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:07,342
to go backstage at the
Peter Frampton concert.
185
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:10,212
Thankfully,
it was pre-Internet so...
186
00:07:10,213 --> 00:07:12,081
only four people saw what happened.
187
00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:15,284
I can't listen to that story again.
188
00:07:15,285 --> 00:07:17,620
It challenges my faith.
189
00:07:17,621 --> 00:07:21,290
Can-Can you just tell me
what to do about the dress?
190
00:07:21,291 --> 00:07:23,691
It's important for you
to find your own way.
191
00:07:23,692 --> 00:07:25,360
What do you think you should do?
192
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,829
Well, I don't think that
I should feel guilty
193
00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:29,464
about spending the money on myself.
194
00:07:29,465 --> 00:07:30,599
I never do that.
195
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,800
I deserve it.
196
00:07:31,801 --> 00:07:33,368
Do you think I deserve it?
197
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:35,170
What do you think you deserve?
198
00:07:35,171 --> 00:07:36,938
Well, for one,
199
00:07:36,939 --> 00:07:40,141
a public apology from Peter
Frampton's bass player.
200
00:07:40,142 --> 00:07:43,644
For two, a return phone
call from the drummer.
201
00:07:43,645 --> 00:07:46,113
For three, I... Christine!
202
00:07:46,114 --> 00:07:49,349
I think you know what
the right answer is.
203
00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:51,684
I do.
204
00:07:53,487 --> 00:07:55,754
I guess I've always known.
205
00:07:58,557 --> 00:07:59,957
Hi, there.
206
00:07:59,958 --> 00:08:02,359
Uh, do you still have
that fuchsia Dior dress?
207
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,660
Oh, no.
208
00:08:03,661 --> 00:08:05,395
You're going to get me in trouble.
209
00:08:05,396 --> 00:08:06,763
My manager said I wasn't allowed
210
00:08:06,764 --> 00:08:08,564
to let you see the dress again.
211
00:08:08,565 --> 00:08:09,865
Or dance with it.
212
00:08:09,866 --> 00:08:12,567
No, no, I'm not here
to dance with it.
213
00:08:12,568 --> 00:08:13,834
I'm here to buy it.
214
00:08:13,835 --> 00:08:17,137
That's a $2,000 dress,
and pardon me for saying so,
215
00:08:17,138 --> 00:08:20,608
but you don't really seem like a $2,
000 dress kind of girl.
216
00:08:20,609 --> 00:08:22,109
Yeah. No, I'm not,
217
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,977
but I figure it'll pay for itself.
218
00:08:23,978 --> 00:08:25,512
I'll look so good in it,
219
00:08:25,513 --> 00:08:27,749
I'll get free
electricity for a year.
220
00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:30,084
I don't want to know
what that means.
221
00:08:36,661 --> 00:08:38,663
Hi, Christine.
222
00:08:38,664 --> 00:08:39,964
What's with all the singles?
223
00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:41,733
Oh, are you stripping now?
224
00:08:42,535 --> 00:08:44,469
No.
225
00:08:44,470 --> 00:08:46,271
I'm not stripping.
226
00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:48,440
Why? Do you think I could strip?
227
00:08:48,441 --> 00:08:50,575
What are you doing in a nice store?
228
00:08:50,576 --> 00:08:52,077
And if you're thinking of stealing,
229
00:08:52,078 --> 00:08:54,546
there are more cameras in
here than a Vegas casino.
230
00:08:54,547 --> 00:08:55,614
They will catch you.
231
00:08:55,615 --> 00:08:57,382
Yeah, even if the face
cream accidentally
232
00:08:57,383 --> 00:08:58,550
falls into your purse.
233
00:08:58,551 --> 00:09:00,620
It was an accident.
234
00:09:00,621 --> 00:09:03,722
And it made me feel alive.
235
00:09:03,723 --> 00:09:05,391
No, I'm not here to steal.
236
00:09:05,392 --> 00:09:06,825
I'm here to buy.
237
00:09:06,826 --> 00:09:09,795
Oh, I don't think they sell your
brands at this store. Uh-uh.
238
00:09:09,796 --> 00:09:11,830
My brands? I don't have a brand.
239
00:09:11,831 --> 00:09:13,698
I got this at the Farmer's Market.
240
00:09:13,699 --> 00:09:15,434
Hmm. No.
241
00:09:15,435 --> 00:09:17,069
I'm here for the Dior dress.
242
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:18,804
I recently came into some money.
243
00:09:18,805 --> 00:09:19,972
I decided to treat myself.
244
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:21,473
Yeah. There's nothing
wrong with that.
245
00:09:21,474 --> 00:09:23,041
That doesn't make me a bad person.
246
00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:25,677
I mean, I'm sure you don't
give all your money to charity.
247
00:09:25,678 --> 00:09:26,811
All of it?
248
00:09:26,812 --> 00:09:28,713
Oh, no, we don't give any of it.
249
00:09:28,714 --> 00:09:30,081
I mean, you give people money,
250
00:09:30,082 --> 00:09:32,116
they have no motivation to
do anything for themselves.
251
00:09:32,117 --> 00:09:34,418
I say, get off your
butt and get a job.
252
00:09:34,419 --> 00:09:35,786
Yeah. Besides,
you give people money,
253
00:09:35,787 --> 00:09:37,621
they just use it for
drugs and alcohol.
254
00:09:37,622 --> 00:09:38,788
What do you use it for?
255
00:09:38,789 --> 00:09:41,390
Prescription drugs and alcohol.
256
00:09:41,391 --> 00:09:42,925
Well, and pretty clothes.
257
00:09:42,926 --> 00:09:44,426
And small dogs.
258
00:09:44,427 --> 00:09:46,495
And bail.
259
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,864
I'm bored here. Mm.
260
00:09:48,865 --> 00:09:50,299
I feel like this conversation
has been charity.
261
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:51,566
Let's go grab some lunch.
262
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,935
Okay.
263
00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:56,103
Okay, here it is.
264
00:09:56,104 --> 00:09:58,437
And how would you
like to pay for this?
265
00:09:58,438 --> 00:10:00,338
Keep in mind, we don't take Mobil.
266
00:10:00,339 --> 00:10:02,539
Oh. No, no, no. I have cash.
267
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:03,872
A big wad of cash.
268
00:10:03,873 --> 00:10:07,071
It's a little wet from
being in my bra, but...
269
00:10:08,703 --> 00:10:10,368
I-I worked for it, you know.
270
00:10:10,369 --> 00:10:12,798
It's mine. I can do
what I want with it.
271
00:10:12,799 --> 00:10:14,664
Great. I will ring you up.
272
00:10:14,665 --> 00:10:15,798
Uh, no, I can't.
273
00:10:15,799 --> 00:10:18,033
Ugh! I just won't feel
good about myself.
274
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,300
So, I'm putting it back?
275
00:10:19,301 --> 00:10:20,730
No. You know what?
276
00:10:20,731 --> 00:10:21,797
I'll take it.
277
00:10:21,798 --> 00:10:24,332
I don't feel good
about myself anyway.
278
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,365
Okay.
279
00:10:25,366 --> 00:10:26,499
Oh, forget it.
280
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,265
Seriously? No. I'll take it.
281
00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:29,798
Really? No.
282
00:10:29,799 --> 00:10:33,897
Can I just have one dance with it?
283
00:10:33,898 --> 00:10:38,332
* Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh. *
284
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:53,935
Matthew!
285
00:10:53,936 --> 00:10:55,736
Wig!
286
00:10:55,737 --> 00:10:58,037
What are you doing here?
287
00:10:58,038 --> 00:11:00,105
I followed you. Why?
288
00:11:00,106 --> 00:11:01,505
Because I know you're
lying to New Christine.
289
00:11:01,506 --> 00:11:03,170
What's going on?
Are you living a double life?
290
00:11:03,171 --> 00:11:06,132
Do you have another
family here in Chatsworth?
291
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:09,792
Because if you do,
take me with you.
292
00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:14,456
I think you're going
to be very proud of me.
293
00:11:14,457 --> 00:11:18,424
You made it in before lunch.
I am proud of you.
294
00:11:18,425 --> 00:11:22,356
Look at what I
bought with my money.
295
00:11:22,357 --> 00:11:24,821
That is not okay, Christine.
296
00:11:24,822 --> 00:11:28,319
No, no, I'm sponsoring her.
297
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,319
Her name is Anjelica.
298
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,084
And she lives in Guatemala.
299
00:11:32,085 --> 00:11:34,652
And before me she didn't
have clean water to drink
300
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,753
or a bed to sleep in,
301
00:11:36,754 --> 00:11:40,656
but now because of my $2,000,
that's all going to change.
302
00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:43,858
I'm-I'm good, Barb.
303
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,862
Yes... we... can.
304
00:11:50,164 --> 00:11:52,465
Why did you do that?
305
00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:54,467
Oh, you inspired me.
306
00:11:54,468 --> 00:11:55,835
What is that smell?
307
00:11:55,836 --> 00:11:58,470
Well, you inspired
me a little bit, too.
308
00:11:59,272 --> 00:12:00,705
I used my money
309
00:12:00,706 --> 00:12:03,974
to buy a professional
popcorn machine.
310
00:12:03,975 --> 00:12:05,508
What?
311
00:12:05,509 --> 00:12:07,676
It's the same kind the movies use.
312
00:12:07,677 --> 00:12:10,645
What-what happened to charity?
313
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,913
Okay, before you go judging me,
314
00:12:12,914 --> 00:12:14,948
there's something you should know.
315
00:12:14,949 --> 00:12:18,049
It also makes caramel corn.
316
00:12:21,286 --> 00:12:23,487
You said you were
going to buy a well
317
00:12:23,488 --> 00:12:24,787
for the village.
318
00:12:24,788 --> 00:12:26,555
Well...
319
00:12:26,556 --> 00:12:29,357
I bought a popcorn
machine for my tummy.
320
00:12:30,658 --> 00:12:32,592
I love it so much.
321
00:12:32,593 --> 00:12:35,261
I call it Albert.
322
00:12:35,262 --> 00:12:37,262
This is unbelievable.
323
00:12:37,263 --> 00:12:39,096
You knew how much I
wanted that dress
324
00:12:39,097 --> 00:12:40,997
and you made me feel
like a bad person.
325
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:43,232
You know what would
make you feel better?
326
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:45,867
A big tub of buttery popcorn.
327
00:12:45,868 --> 00:12:48,335
No, Barb.
328
00:12:48,336 --> 00:12:50,337
There is a difference
between right and wrong
329
00:12:50,338 --> 00:12:52,238
and one of us knows what it is.
330
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,972
Father, would it be wrong of me
331
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:57,641
to stop payment on
a check to charity?
332
00:13:02,981 --> 00:13:05,982
Okay, so, your question for me is:
can you cancel a check
333
00:13:05,983 --> 00:13:08,417
that you wrote to help
feed an orphan in Guatemala
334
00:13:08,418 --> 00:13:09,985
so you can buy a dress?
335
00:13:09,986 --> 00:13:13,922
Well, no, not just an orphan,
an entire village.
336
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:17,891
And not just a dress,
a Dior dress.
337
00:13:17,892 --> 00:13:19,492
Christine, I know you don't need me
338
00:13:19,493 --> 00:13:21,127
to tell you the right thing to do.
339
00:13:21,128 --> 00:13:24,396
Why can't they just get off
their butts and get a job?
340
00:13:24,397 --> 00:13:25,831
Okay, apparently, you do.
341
00:13:25,832 --> 00:13:28,366
Um, think about what
you're saying for a minute,
342
00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:30,435
and you tell me what you
think you should do.
343
00:13:30,436 --> 00:13:32,237
Buy the dress.
344
00:13:32,238 --> 00:13:33,271
Dig deeper.
345
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,673
Turn the other cheek?
346
00:13:35,674 --> 00:13:38,142
Not relevant.
347
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:40,978
Whatever decision I make
348
00:13:40,979 --> 00:13:42,646
will be the right one for me?
349
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:43,846
I know you can do this.
350
00:13:43,847 --> 00:13:45,380
Look into your soul.
351
00:13:45,381 --> 00:13:49,016
There are no wrong answers here.
352
00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:51,218
Christine, everyone has to live
with the choices they make.
353
00:13:51,219 --> 00:13:53,553
And you are going to
have to live with yours.
354
00:13:54,421 --> 00:13:56,755
Gotcha.
355
00:13:58,491 --> 00:13:59,992
Hi, I'm back.
356
00:13:59,993 --> 00:14:01,126
Good grief.
357
00:14:01,127 --> 00:14:03,262
I see you more than
I see my own kid.
358
00:14:04,097 --> 00:14:07,134
I came back to buy the dress.
359
00:14:07,135 --> 00:14:10,103
I'm on a mission from God.
360
00:14:10,104 --> 00:14:12,105
The dress is gone.
361
00:14:13,907 --> 00:14:16,241
Uh, please tell me what you mean is
362
00:14:16,242 --> 00:14:19,876
that the dress is
gone to look for me.
363
00:14:19,877 --> 00:14:22,745
I sold the one in
your size an hour ago.
364
00:14:22,746 --> 00:14:24,714
Oh, no. Why me?
365
00:14:24,715 --> 00:14:27,649
Why do bad things
happen to good people?
366
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:30,685
You know, an entire village
gave up their water
367
00:14:30,686 --> 00:14:32,687
for this.
368
00:14:32,688 --> 00:14:34,255
What? No, look.
369
00:14:34,256 --> 00:14:35,590
There's one right there.
370
00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:37,425
That's a size zero.
371
00:14:41,695 --> 00:14:43,729
What-what are you saying?
372
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:45,863
Um, I'm saying
373
00:14:45,864 --> 00:14:49,567
that you're more than a size zero.
374
00:14:50,401 --> 00:14:53,369
How dare you?
375
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:56,605
You have no idea what size I am.
376
00:14:58,041 --> 00:14:59,841
Ha!
377
00:14:59,842 --> 00:15:01,943
I told you it would fit.
378
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,645
I am a total zero.
379
00:15:04,646 --> 00:15:05,678
Yes.
380
00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:07,313
Yes, you are.
381
00:15:10,717 --> 00:15:12,417
Wait, so you're not
having an affair?
382
00:15:12,418 --> 00:15:13,885
No, I work here.
383
00:15:13,886 --> 00:15:15,586
And I can't stand
around talking to you.
384
00:15:15,587 --> 00:15:17,087
I'm going to get fired.
385
00:15:17,088 --> 00:15:19,122
The only thing more embarrassing
than working at the Suit Barn
386
00:15:19,123 --> 00:15:22,024
is getting fired
from the Suit Barn.
387
00:15:22,025 --> 00:15:23,325
Here.
388
00:15:23,326 --> 00:15:25,560
I'm going to have to measure you.
389
00:15:27,196 --> 00:15:29,363
So, what-what's with the hair?
390
00:15:29,364 --> 00:15:33,466
Guys who buy cheap suits tend to
trust guys who wear cheap hair.
391
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:37,371
Tell me, uh, where do
you wear your pants?
392
00:15:37,372 --> 00:15:38,439
I don't know, to work.
393
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,007
To the movies.
394
00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:42,109
No, where on your waist?
395
00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:44,177
Never mind, never mind.
Stand up straight.
396
00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:46,346
Wait, uh, why do you work here?
397
00:15:46,347 --> 00:15:48,314
Well, the construction
business is horrible now.
398
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:49,982
Things were already
tight with New Christine
399
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,851
cutting back on her hours
with the baby coming.
400
00:15:51,852 --> 00:15:53,385
Stop. Stand still. Oh, sorry.
401
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,354
And then the transmission
went out on my truck.
402
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,822
So, I had to get a second job
so I could afford to fix it.
403
00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:58,790
Why lie about it?
404
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,058
Why not tell New
Christine the truth?
405
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,826
Because she would have
insisted on going back to work.
406
00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:03,328
I can take care of
my family, Matthew.
407
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:04,662
That's my job.
408
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:07,131
That and putting a man in a
good quality suit for less.
409
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,233
And I'm not the kind of man
410
00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:11,368
who runs away from
his responsibilities.
411
00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:13,970
Wow, I mean...
412
00:16:13,971 --> 00:16:15,772
Sorry.
413
00:16:15,773 --> 00:16:17,840
I've never seen this
side of you before.
414
00:16:17,841 --> 00:16:19,809
The noble tailor.
415
00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:22,210
Well. You're like Fiddler
on the Roof.
416
00:16:23,379 --> 00:16:25,079
I'm a very proud man.
417
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,514
Huh, you really are.
418
00:16:26,515 --> 00:16:28,816
I think your pride is
slipping a little bit. Oh.
419
00:16:30,652 --> 00:16:31,618
My manager's watching us.
420
00:16:31,619 --> 00:16:33,018
Okay, arms up. Oh.
421
00:16:33,019 --> 00:16:35,520
Stand still.
422
00:16:35,521 --> 00:16:38,423
33... 33...
423
00:16:38,424 --> 00:16:40,424
33.
424
00:16:40,425 --> 00:16:43,026
Can that be right?
425
00:16:43,027 --> 00:16:45,227
It's right.
426
00:16:46,062 --> 00:16:48,029
I'll tell you what.
427
00:16:48,030 --> 00:16:50,598
I'll keep your secret
if you'll keep mine.
428
00:16:52,434 --> 00:16:55,369
Well, we did the right thing.
429
00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:56,536
Yep.
430
00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,304
Next time we get a paycheck
431
00:16:58,305 --> 00:17:01,340
we can give it to charity.
432
00:17:01,341 --> 00:17:03,508
Or get a churro machine.
433
00:17:08,446 --> 00:17:10,447
Why are you walking like that?
434
00:17:10,448 --> 00:17:13,249
I'm a little bloated from the salt.
435
00:17:14,418 --> 00:17:16,418
My feet are the size of canoes
436
00:17:16,419 --> 00:17:19,688
and my knees don't bend anymore.
437
00:17:21,924 --> 00:17:24,391
What are you wearing?
438
00:17:24,392 --> 00:17:25,826
You look ridiculous.
439
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:26,860
I look ridiculous?
440
00:17:26,861 --> 00:17:28,261
Let's see you try and sit down.
441
00:17:28,262 --> 00:17:29,596
What?
442
00:17:29,597 --> 00:17:31,598
You don't sit in couture.
443
00:17:31,599 --> 00:17:34,300
It ruins the line.
444
00:17:34,301 --> 00:17:36,501
Hey, Barb, corn me.
445
00:17:41,273 --> 00:17:43,141
So, what'd you find
out about Richard?
446
00:17:43,142 --> 00:17:45,176
Did you figure out where
he was sneaking off to?
447
00:17:45,177 --> 00:17:46,710
What is it? Gambling?
448
00:17:46,711 --> 00:17:48,679
Women? Drinking?
449
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,213
Kettle Corn?
450
00:17:50,214 --> 00:17:52,682
I can't tell you.
451
00:17:52,683 --> 00:17:54,350
Oh, my God!
452
00:17:54,351 --> 00:17:55,684
Oh, he is cheating!
453
00:17:55,685 --> 00:17:57,886
That lying bastard.
454
00:17:57,887 --> 00:17:59,821
Hey, don't you talk about
him like that, okay.
455
00:17:59,822 --> 00:18:00,888
He's a good man.
456
00:18:00,889 --> 00:18:04,124
He is more man than any
of us will ever be.
457
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,059
What's the matter with you?
458
00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:07,960
Richard's not having an affair.
459
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:11,896
He's wearing a wig and selling
cheap suits in Chatsworth.
460
00:18:13,064 --> 00:18:14,231
I guess he needed money
461
00:18:14,232 --> 00:18:15,967
to fix the transmission
on his truck.
462
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:18,036
He made me promise
not to tell anyone.
463
00:18:18,037 --> 00:18:19,738
Because he's proud.
464
00:18:19,739 --> 00:18:21,673
Proud? God.
465
00:18:21,674 --> 00:18:24,275
He had me hit him in the
nuts with a Wiffle ball
466
00:18:24,276 --> 00:18:27,544
to get on America's
Funniest Home Video.
467
00:18:27,545 --> 00:18:31,314
So that he could win
money to supportis family
468
00:18:31,315 --> 00:18:33,282
because he's proud.
469
00:18:33,283 --> 00:18:35,317
Yeah, well,
I don't feel bad for him.
470
00:18:35,318 --> 00:18:36,785
Everybody makes their own choices.
471
00:18:36,786 --> 00:18:38,286
They have to live
with the consequences.
472
00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:40,054
It's like what they
tell you in church:
473
00:18:40,055 --> 00:18:43,090
you reap what you sow.
474
00:18:45,126 --> 00:18:47,094
Ha, ha!
475
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,534
Okay, I usually try to let people
476
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,403
find their own way
in these situations,
477
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,838
but I'm going to be very clear.
478
00:18:58,839 --> 00:19:00,006
You get rid of the dress.
479
00:19:00,007 --> 00:19:01,441
You get rid of the popcorn machine.
480
00:19:01,442 --> 00:19:02,775
Do it now.
481
00:19:02,776 --> 00:19:05,379
Turn your lives around or
you're both going to hell.
482
00:19:10,218 --> 00:19:12,884
It's not the same.
483
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:16,385
Well, maybe next quarter
will be good, too,
484
00:19:16,386 --> 00:19:19,421
and we can buy another
popcorn machine.
485
00:19:19,422 --> 00:19:21,423
No, it's better that it's gone.
486
00:19:21,424 --> 00:19:24,390
I had to saw one of my rings off.
487
00:19:24,391 --> 00:19:27,456
So what made you decide to
give everytng to charity?
488
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,959
Eh, what makes anyone
dohe right thing?
489
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,627
Fear of going to hell.
490
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:34,563
So, who'd you give it to?
491
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:35,897
We're not telling.
492
00:19:35,898 --> 00:19:38,600
True charity is anonymous.
493
00:19:38,601 --> 00:19:41,035
You guys,
494
00:19:41,036 --> 00:19:43,870
I experienced a miracle today.
495
00:19:43,871 --> 00:19:46,339
Your hair grew back.
496
00:19:48,108 --> 00:19:50,876
I went to the garage
to pick up my truck,
497
00:19:50,877 --> 00:19:52,611
and when I tried to pay the guy,
498
00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:54,679
he said that it had
already been taken care of
499
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,448
by an anonymous benefactor.
500
00:19:56,449 --> 00:19:58,049
Wow. You're kidding.
501
00:19:58,050 --> 00:19:59,383
That is so weird.
502
00:19:59,384 --> 00:20:02,019
Who would have done that?
503
00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:04,087
I have a pretty good idea.
504
00:20:04,088 --> 00:20:06,055
You know, I was actually
working a second job
505
00:20:06,056 --> 00:20:07,490
to get that thing fixed.
506
00:20:07,491 --> 00:20:10,526
But now I can quit and spend
more time with New Christine.
507
00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:12,594
Thanks, man.
508
00:20:12,595 --> 00:20:14,696
You're welcome.
509
00:20:16,064 --> 00:20:17,264
No! No!
510
00:20:17,265 --> 00:20:19,400
He didn't do it. I did it.
511
00:20:19,401 --> 00:20:21,067
Christine, that's low.
512
00:20:21,068 --> 00:20:23,603
Even for you.
513
00:20:23,604 --> 00:20:25,537
Oh, great.
514
00:20:25,538 --> 00:20:28,640
You take the credit, I get nothing.
515
00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:31,075
Not nothing.
516
00:20:31,076 --> 00:20:34,378
Look how cute little
Anjelica looks in your dress.
517
00:20:35,313 --> 00:20:38,315
Yeah, she's a true size zero.
518
00:20:38,316 --> 00:20:41,517
God, she's so lucky.
519
00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:46,288
You are a good person.
520
00:20:46,289 --> 00:20:50,191
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