Original subtitles

(cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

♫ Ground floor perfumery

♫ Stationary and leather goods

♫ Wigs and haberdashery

♫ Kitchenware, then food, going up

(jazzy instrumental music)

♫ First floor telephones

♫ Gents ready-made suits

♫ Shirts, socks, ties, hats

♫ Underwear and shoes, going up

- Good morning, Mr. Harman.

- Morning, Captain Peacock.

- May I inquire who ordered the center display

to be changed?

- Mr. Rumbold.

There's an epidemic of flu in the sports department,

and they have been inaugurated with the ladies'

and gentleman's department until such time

as the staff recover.

- I wish someone would tell me.

- Perhaps when you rise high enough,

you'll be let into executive decisions.

(audience laughing)

- Right, Peacock, heard the news?

- From as high up as maintenance.

I don't think the staff will approve.

- Well, this is a management decision,

the staff will sell whatever is required.

Look, a set of golf clubs could cost

over 200 pounds.

I should think the commission on that

would be attractive.

- True.

For those who are on commission.

But in my position as floor walker,

I have to be able to direct the potential customer

to the goods he requires.

I take it that the added responsibility

of assimilating this knowledge

will be reflected in an increase in my salary?

- You do know what a golf club looks like?

- Naturally.

- Can you differentiate between a ping pong bat

and a tennis racket?

- I take that to be a rhetorical question.

(audience laughing)

- Are fishing rods foreign to you?

- No.

- Well, you've already assimilated enough knowledge

to do the job, and we haven't even opened yet.

(audience laughing)

- Good try, Captain Peacock.

That's the drawback of being a gent.

Hunting, shooting, and fishing

must be second nature to you.

- I wouldn't look too smug, if I were you.

With the backing of my staff, I'm confident

you'll soon be moving all this out again.

What's that contraption for?

- I will explain.

Here we have some stimulated grass,

upon which we place a rubberized mat

with a built-in golf tee.

A ball on a piece of string, which in turn's

attached to that distance meter.

Which enables a golf pro to demonstrate his swing.

- What golf pro?

- The one from sports, Mr. Walpole.

The one the girls are potty about.

- But this spot is where I stand.

- Well, remember, if he shouts "fore," duck.

(cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

- The bad spell of weather has, I feel,

affected this month's figures.

But happily, ladies underwear has remained steady,

although men's trousers have been down.

(audience laughing)

Copies to Mr. Grace, the council, and one to five.

Have you got all that?

- The bad spell of weather.

Is that whe?

- No, that is an appalling spell of weather,

you really must do better.

- Sorry.

It's my shorthand.

(knock on door)

- Enter.

(door closing)

- Sorry to trouble you, Mr. Rumbold.

There's a delegation from the ladies and gentlemen

department, led by Captain Peacock, to see you.

- Oh, very well, show them in.

- Mr. Rumbold will see the delegation.

Would you step this way, please?

- Please be as brief as possible,

I have a lot waiting for me on my desk.

- So I see.

(audience laughing)

- Miss Belfridge.

- Sir, the sales staff and myself are in agreement

that we do not wish to sell sporting goods

on this floor.

- And I am unanimous in that.

You can't have ping pong bats and knickers

on the same counter.

They don't go together.

- You should read the news of the world more often.

(audience laughing)

- I should have thought that if a customer

bought some sporting equipment,

that would be a very good opportunity

to introduce them to the normal stock.

For instance, Mr. Humphreys.

The purchase of a golf club could lead you

to suggest a pair of gloves, or a scarf.

- Or a pair of Y-fronts, to improve his swing.

(audience laughing)

- Exactly.

- You have to be conversant with the stock

to be able to sell it.

- Yeah, we ought to be paid more for knowing more.

- And another thing.

I want to know what's happened to that fur coat

what was on the center stand, and what was due

to be reduced to sale price.

I've been saving up for that for months.

- Yes, well it's back in the stock room.

It'll be sold to another branch.

- She'd set her heart on that.

- That's why she put everyone off it.

- Yes, well, if everyone has had their say,

I really must get on with my work.

- Everyone has not had their say.

A simulated grass carpet has been laid

in my area, on which I understand

a certain Mr. Walpole is to demonstrate

his golf swing.

I would like to know where I am to stand

while he does it.

- But Mr. Walpole?

- Not that good-looking man with the lovely smile

in sports?

- Up here, on our floor!

- I thought they all had the flu?

- No, they have the flu, except Mr. Walpole.

He's always very fit.

- Yes, that's why we never see him in the canteen.

He's always jogging round the roof.

- All this is beside the point.

We have a unanimous vote not to sell sporting goods.

- We did have.

But it would be a pity if poor Mr. Walpole

had nowhere to demonstrate his equipment.

- It is only until the rest get better.

- Hands up those for sporting equipment.

- Come on, let's go and see if he's arrived.

- Oh, yes!

(employees squealing and giggling)

(audience laughing)

- So, Peacock.

You're the troublemaker in this affair.

Make a note of that, Miss Belfridge.

- When I entered this office, everyone was behind me.

- That's before they heard about Mr. Walpole.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, just look at him swinging those big shoulders.

Oh, and he's got such a lovely smile.

I love a man with a lovely smile.

(audience laughing)

- He's so handsome.

- I wonder how old he is.

- Oh, I should think he's about your age.

- Blimey.

Hasn't he worn well.

- All the girls in accounts are mad about him.

- I heard he bought one of them a simulated fur coat,

just like the one what you wanted.

- Oh, the lucky devil.

Of course that's the trouble, you know.

Men like that can get girls half their age.

- He's a very charming man.

- Do you know him?

To talk to, I mean?

- No, we just nod to each other in the lift.

- Oh, go and say hello, introduce us.

- Sure. - Yay!

- Do I look alright?

(audience laughing)

Morning, Mr. Walpole.

- Morning.

You're, um...

- Humphreys, first assistant on the men's counter.

- Hi, Humphreys.

(audience laughing)

Nice to see you.

As you can see, I'm up here for a spell.

I hope I'm not going to be in your way.

- Oh, not at all.

- If there's anything you want to know about

sporting equipment, just ask me.

- Oh.

(audience laughing)

- You...

Ever been round a golf course?

- Once or twice.

- Got a handicap?

- So they tell me.

I'd like to introduce you to Miss Brahams.

- Oh, I know Miss Brahams.

She's one of the prettiest girls in the store.

Don't tell me you're going to be working

up here on this floor.

- Well, yes, actually I stand just over there.

Just a few feet away.

- Psst.

- I think I see someone else who would like

to be introduced.

Alright, it's your turn.

This is Mrs. Slocombe, I don't think you've met.

(audience laughing)

I'm so glad to meet you in the flesh, at last.

I've often mentioned your smile to Miss Brahams.

Haven't I, Miss Brahams?

- Yeah, like just now, when you was peering

round the corner.

- Tell me, Mrs. Slocombe, where do you work?

- Oh, I'm in charge of the ladies.

- So that's why we haven't met.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm head of the ladies department.

Miss Brahams is my assistant.

We're going to be keeping an eye on you. (chuckles)

Miss Brahams, get a brush and sweep up over there.

Arrivederci.

- Old Peacock's feathers are a bit ruffled.

- This is going to be interesting.

(clears throat)

- Ah, Peacock, right?

- Captain Peacock, yes.

- I'm Walpole, of sports.

- Welcome.

(audience laughing)

- Excuse me, captain, but are you going

to stand right there?

- Right here.

- Well, I'm supposed to swing this club

to attract the customers.

(audience laughing)

I don't see any, do you?

- No, you're right.

Do you play?

You've got the build for it.

- Yes, I have swung a club now and then,

but I've never thought of taking it up seriously.

I might when I retire.

After all, it is a game for the older man.

Unless of course, one has to earn a living by it.

- I do terrific at the weekends.

Would you like to have a swing?

I could show you a few pointers.

- No, thank you.

- Oh, go on.

You often told us how good you were.

- Yes, you remember, during the war,

when you used the bomb craters for bunkers.

- That was a long time ago.

- Go on, be a sport, and we can all have a go.

- I haven't held a club for years.

- Go on, try that for weight.

- Oh.

- Look, straight away, the Arnold Palmer grip.

- Oh, so it is. (chuckles)

Nice weight.

Number two wood.

- Three.

- Really, it feels like a number two.

Now I see the lift on the face.

- I'll tee the ball up.

When you hit it, the string pulls on the indicator

to show how far it would have gone.

- If he hits it.

(audience laughing)

- Yes, it's all coming back to me now.

How's that?

- Well, feet further apart, and open your face a bit.

- It's another world, isn't it?

(audience laughing)

- Try a practice swing.

(audience laughing)

(employees clapping)

Are you sure you're a scratch player?

- Oh, no, no, no, no, I just have good coordination,

good eye for a ball.

- Look, you get it to clout, and we'll watch

the clock to see how far it goes.

- I shall probably miss.

(audience laughing)

Mrs. Slocombe, you're in my way.

Will you and Miss Brahams stand over there, please.

- Sorry, Captain Peacock.

- Hold it.

That's a perfect position.

- You see?

He's charming him.

Oh, if I was a bit younger, I'd be in there

with a chance of a fur coat.

(audience laughing)

- Now, just relax, and address the ball.

- Dear balls.

(audience laughing)

Sorry, sir.

- Just be quiet, he needs all his concentration.

- Here goes.

(ball whacks)

- Oh!

(audience laughing)

- Mrs. Slocombe!

(audience laughing)

- What happened?

- The string broke, and it says on the clock, 150 yards!

- She's out cold, it's hit her on the head!

- Quick, get her on the counter, come on.

(audience laughing)

- Oh.

- Oh, thank goodness, I thought we'd lost you.

- It's all that strong lacquer she uses on her hair,

it slowed the ball down.

(audience laughing)

- Who are you?

- I'm Miss Brahams.

Don't worry, it'll be alright.

- Where am I?

- Well, you're with your friends, at work?

- Work?

What do you mean, work?

I'm still at school.

- Blimey, it's a serious brain injury.

- You mean, you don't know where you are?

- I've no idea.

- This is the ladies and gentlemen's department

in Grace Brothers, and I'm Captain Peacock.

- Well, what am I doing here?

- You've worked here for years.

- I want to go home to my mummy.

- Can you remember your name?

- My name's Betty.

But my mummy says I mustn't talk to strange men.

- You can talk to me.

Now, listen, what is the date?

- I've no idea.

- Well, who's the prime minister?

- Mr. Chamberlain.

- Blimey, I'm surprised it wasn't Gladstone.

(audience laughing)

- Go ahead.

She's obviously lost her memory.

We've got to try to get it back gradually.

- Well, how gradually?

We could all be old men before she remembers

how old she is.

- We must treat her gently.

- How can you be gentle with someone

who thinks they're still at school

when she's over 50?

- Well, I don't know.

Come on, come on, Betty.

We must help you off the counter.

- No, no.

I want him to do it.

(audience laughing)

- Come along, Mrs. Slocombe.

- Catch!

(Walpole grunts)

Oh, who is this nice man?

- That's Mr. Walpole from sports.

Now, Mrs. Slocombe, I suggest you go and lie down for a bit.

- Who's Mrs. Slocombe?

- You are.

- Oh, are we laying mummies and daddies?

I fancy him.

(audience laughing)

- Hang on, hang on, now, now, Betty, now, now look.

Now just feel there, now, look,

can you feel that bump on your head?

Yes.

You were hit on the head with a golf ball.

And you've temporarily lost a teeny, weeny little bit

of your memory.

And all you can remember is being a little girl.

Is that correct?

- Well, if we're going to pretend, and I work here,

what do I do?

- Well, you're a junior, of course.

On the ladies counter.

You work under the big girl, Miss Brahams.

- Am I satisfactory so far?

- You've done very well.

Now, why don't you go and have a lie down

in the fitting room for a bit?

- Yes, come along, Betty.

Let's go and see who's in the listening corner, today?

- I better go and find another practice ball mechanism.

The one we've got is obviously faulty.

- Do you think it'll come back?

- It's not going to be very nice for her,

drawing her old age pension before she's 21.

- Oh, you're going to cop it, Captain Peacock,

when Mr. Rumbold finds out.

- Mr. Spooner, Mr. Rumbold will not find out.

This is going to be a secret, just between us.

Her memory's bound to come back,

perhaps it's just some little part of her brain

that's still numb.

- Thank you for your support.

- Well, it wasn't your fault, Captain Peacock.

- Well, I can't help feeling guilty.

I mean, what if she doesn't recover?

I could be sued.

- There's lots of cases of temporary amnesia.

No, we'll just have to play along

until it comes back.

- Yes, I agree.

Thank you, Wilberforce.

- Not at all, Steven.

- Staff, please return to your counter, will you?

- Yes, sir.

(audience laughing)

- Good morning, sir.

- So, this is where the sports department's gone to.

- Yes, sir.

What will it be today?

- Well, the trout are rising, and I need

some fly fishing gear.

- Mr. Humphreys, are you free?

- I am free.

(audience laughing)

- This gentleman would like your help.

- Certainly. - Thank you.

- [Humphreys] Good morning, sir.

- Good morning.

Well, spring is here, and the old trout

are starting to rise.

But I'm afraid these old hands of mine are a bit shaky.

- So I see.

- I'm afraid I can't do me own flies, anymore.

(audience laughing)

- Well, I'm rather busy, and I'm not allowed

to leave the counter.

- Well I need a couple of nymphs

and a half a dozen doctors.

- You shouldn't be out.

- Oh, and some mayflies.

In fact, I'll take the whole box.

Everything I need in there.

- Oh, a box of flies, assorted.

- There we are, sir.

- You, uh, you fly fish, of course?

- Of course.

- Wet or dry?

- Well, I usually take an umbrella, just in case.

(audience laughing)

- I got a bank on the Avon.

Where do you go?

- Nat West.

(audience laughing)

I like the security.

Is this cash or account?

- Account. - There you go.

Thank you.

- Well, it's nice meeting a fishing man.

Tight lines!

- Tight flies!

(audience laughing)

- She's over the initial shock, she's feeling quite perky.

- Oh, thank heaven for that.

- Has her memory come back?

- No, but I did as you suggested,

and I told her she was my junior,

and we're busy selling sports equipment.

- Did she believe you?

- She couldn't get out of her clothes quick enough

into something younger.

If Rumbold sees her, he'll do his pieces.

- Well as long she keeps quiet.

She can't look that different.

- Don't you believe it.

(Mrs. Slocombe singing)

(audience laughing)

- Get her out of here!

(audience laughing)

(cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

- I reckon we ought to get her to a doctor.

She'll get arrested if we let her go home like that.

- Where is she, now?

I mean, lunch is nearly over.

- Miss Brahams has taken her to the little girl's room.

Then she wanted to out and play.

- The mind boggles.

- Where's Mr. Walpole?

- Well, apparently he went to the hospital

to get an anti-flu jab.

- Well, as long as we can keep it form old Rumbold,

we'll be alright.

But if he finds out about Mrs. Slocombe,

we'll have to tell him it was Captain Peacock

banging away at golf balls that did it,

- You all encouraged me, I didn't want to hit

that blasted ball.

- Look out, here they come.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, look, nice clean hand-y pamb-ys. (lips smooch)

- Oh, God.

(audience laughing)

(silverware clatters)

- Are you lot ready to order your pudding?

- I want jelly.

- You wait your turn.

Now, what's it to be?

- Sponge and custard, or apricot tarts?

I must say, the menu's improved.

- That's cause we settled our wage dispute.

- I thought you were being very civil.

- I want jelly.

- No jelly on the menu, Betty.

- If I don't get jelly, I shall be sick.

- Mrs. Slocombe isn't feeling very well,

she has an unsettled stomach.

Now, if you could possibly make a special jelly,

I'll pay for it.

- I can be sick whenever I like.

(audience laughing)

- I know.

- She don't look too good to me,

I'll see what I can do.

Now, hands up for sponge and custard?

Right.

(soft thud)

- Don't forget my jelly!

- Very naughty.

She's only joking.

- I should hope so.

(soft thud)

(audience laughing)

I've been accused of having a bad temper,

and I'm doing my best to keep it under control.

- No, no, no, she's just in a very playful mood.

And after all, one must have a little light relief.

And this is supposed to be a friendly, happy store.

- I know I take my job too seriously.

But it's having to deal with people

like your Mr. Rumbold that gets up my nose.

- Well, you'll just have to let yourself go, a bit.

I mean, we are all normal, working human beings,

like yourself.

- That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, brother.

(blowing raspberries)

(audience laughing)

- Very naughty, now sit up straight at the table.

- Oh, she responds to you.

- I've always been very good with children.

Put that out!

I'm going to count to three, and I want

to see it on that plate.

- Shan't.

- One.

Two.

Three.

Right, go on, leave the table.

(Slocombe crying and banging table)

- Ignore him, ignore him, you can stay at the table,

he didn't mean it.

- You'll never bring her up properly like that.

(audience laughing)

Just ignore her.

Well, Miss Brahams, what sort of a morning

did you have?

- Oh, I sold two tennis rackets and a pair of knickers.

- Oh! (giggles)

You shouldn't say knickers, it's rude.

- Ignore her.

- How 'bout you?

- Well, I sold some fishing tackle to a very strange man.

A number seven iron, a pair of plus fours,

and a pair of J-O-C-K-E-Y shorts.

(audience laughing)

- I want a riddle.

- Oh, not again.

- If I don't get a riddle, I'll scream and scream.

- Mr. Humphreys--

- Don't look at me.

- Please, tell me a riddle.

- Oh, tell you a riddle.

(audience laughing)

Does anybody know a riddle?

- I do.

What goes up a chimney, down, but won't go

down a chimney, up.

- An umbrella. - I wanted to do the riddle.

- Don't spoil it for Betty.

- You tell me a riddle.

- A riddle?

- When is a door not a door?

- When is a door not a door?

- Give in!

- When is a door not a door?

- When it's ajar.

- When it's ajar.

- I don't think that was a very funny riddle.

- Couldn't you have give ma better riddle?

- I already used me best riddle.

(audience laughing)

- When can I go home?

- No, you've got to play for this afternoon,

and then you can go home.

- What if her memory doesn't come back?

- She'll have to go home with you,

she gets on well with you.

- She's not coming home with me,

my boyfriend's coming round tonight.

I don't want her bouncing up and down the sofa

while we're watching Dallas.

- Yes, it's a bit grown up for her.

Haven't you got an attic, you could lock her up there.

- Look, it's all his fault, Peacock can take her home.

- Good heavens, I can't.

We're having a bridge party, I can't cancel

everyone, now.

No, by his own admission, Mr. Humphreys

is very good with children.

I think he should take her home.

- I can't...

She's not coming home with me.

She's as strong as an ox.

I'm not having my Paddington Bear pulled to pieces.

- Can't we send her to an orphanage 'til she gets better?

- Can I get down?

- No, you can't.

You've ordered jelly, and you'll wait til it comes.

- Shan't - You will.

- Shan't. - You will.

(light slap) Bit, oh.

(audience laughing)

If the wind changes, you'll stay like that.

(audience laughing)

- Well, that settles it.

You've obviously got the knack, Mr. Humphries.

You can look after her.

- Four sponge and custards.

- Starving.

- One jelly with cream on top.

- Oh.

- Here, I asked for jelly, and I didn't get it.

- Oh, you poor man, do you want to have mine?

- Oh, thank you very much, indeed.

- Oh, here you are.

(audience laughing)

- Right, you are for it.

(Harman grunts)

(audience laughing)

- Right, okay, excuse me.

- What's the service like?

(audience laughing)

- Well, it's quicker than usual.

(cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

- Now, let me see if I've got this right.

Captain Peacock actually took a golf club

and hit a ball in the enclosed premises of the store.

Now, that was, in itself, a dangerous thing to do.

- It was a practice ball attached to a piece of string.

- And what happened?

The string broke, the ball hit Mrs. Slocombe on the head,

and now she's lost her memory.

And who's responsible for it?

You are, Peacock.

- We did egg him on.

- I do not hold myself responsible for faulty equipment.

Anyone could have hit that ball.

- Yes, but the fact remains, Peacock, you hit it.

And you were not authorized.

- Who ordered the equipment to be placed there?

- Well, I did, of course.

- Without checking if it was faulty, or not?

- If there was something wrong with the string,

the makers are at fault, not me.

- Well, it was old stock.

Probably out of guarantee.

What if she sues us?

- At the moment, it'll only be for jelly beans.

(audience laughing)

- How bad is she?

I had very little time in the restaurant

to evaluate her condition, but you say

she seems rather backward?

- Let me put it this way.

The last time I saw her, she was sliding

down the main banister with a peashooter,

taking a ping at bathroom fittings.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, good heavens, if Mr. Grace ever hears about this...

Well, where is she now?

(knock on door)

Enter.

(door closing)

- We've got a problem.

It's Mrs. Slocombe.

- Oh, what's the latest position?

- She's driving the golf car flat out round the department

with no hands signals.

(audience laughing)

- Right, that's it.

I don't care what method you use.

Drugs, darts, a net, anything.

I want Mrs. Slocombe in here, right away, immediately.

(loud crash)

(audience laughing)

(audience applause)

- Hello Big Ears!

Where's doggie's house?

(audience laughing)

(cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

- The hospital should have operated by now,

she's been gone three hours.

- Well, it wasn't your fault, Captain,

it was the equipment.

Old stock.

(phone ringing)

- Menswear.

(audience laughing)

The hospital?

You've lost her?

- Oh, she was such a young woman.

(audience laughing)

- I see, thank you, what a relief.

Yes, thank you, sister.

- What's happened?

- Apparently, they got her in the ambulance

and gave her a lollipop.

Then they put her on this trolley

to take her down to X-ray.

She dropped her lolly, fell off the trolley,

right on her head.

- Oh, poor Mrs. Slocombe.

- No, it's alright, it brought her memory back.

She ran out of the hospital about an hour ago,

she should be here any minute.

- Thank goodness for that. (lift bell rings)

- Mrs. Slocombe is coming up the other lift

and she don't look too pleased.

- Oh, thank heavens you're alright.

- Alright?

You know what time it is?

It's half past five!

I've lost a whole day's commission,

not to mentioned being concussed by Captain Peacock.

- It wasn't Captain Peacock's fault.

It was the equipment.

- I'm going to sue for damages.

After all, it was an industrial accident.

(bell ringing)

- Right, that's it, I'm off home, now.

Good night everybody, will you need me tomorrow,

mister...

- Rumbold.

And definitely not.

This department is going back to normal.

- Oh.

Well, you all know where I am if you want to play around.

- Thank you.

(audience laughing)

- I'm going to sue everybody for that bang on my brain.

- Oh, well I think Mr. Rumbold is the person

to discuss that with.

For my part, I'm just relieved to have

the same old, bad-tempered Mrs. Slocombe back again.

- Now, calm yourself, Mrs. Slocombe.

I'm sure we can settle all this amicably without undue fuss.

Now, what would make you happy?

- Well, I would have liked that simulated fur coat

that was due to be reduced, what was on the center stand

until it was removed.

- That's easily settled.

Mr. Harman, will you get that simulated puma

out of stock, please?

- Right away, Mr. Rumbold, it's still by goods lift.

- I do hope I'm going to get a very favorable discount.

- Well, I don't know about that.

- Oh, oh, I've come over all dizzy, I'll have to sit down.

(audience laughing)

(all chattering)

- I would have thought you'd give it to her,

after all she'd been through.

- Oh.

- Of course, what a good idea.

- Your lordship.

- Thank you.

Now, Mrs. Slocombe, just slip into it

and see how it fits.

- Oh, I know how it fits.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, you look just like a film star.

- Oh, do I?

Which one.

- Oh, it's very Bette Davis.

- I don't look as old as that, do I.

- I mean, when she was in black and white.

- Oh, I see what you mean.

- Well, with the compliments of Grace Brothers.

And we trust that the unfortunate accident

that caused your little loss of memory is now forgotten?

- What accident?

- (chuckles) Oh, splendid.

Well I must be off, good night.

- Oo, just the feel of it.

I never thought I'd get my hands on this.

- Well, you wouldn't have done,

had it not been for the accident.

- That's true.

- Can't you remember anything?

- When?

- When you got hit on the head?

- Oh, you mean, when I was a little girl?

(audience laughing)

- You mean, you hadn't lost your memory, after all?

- Oh, yes I had.

Just for a minute.

Until that lovely Mr. Walpole helped me off the counter,

and when he held me in his arms,

and I looked up into his eyes, I thought,

"He'll never buy me a fur coat like this."

- So all the time, you mean to say that you--

- Oh, you'll never know now, will you?

But I tell you something, I couldn't have had

much lunch.

Oh, I'm starving.

- What would you fancy, and where would you like to go?

- Well, how about the ice cream parlor?

(audience laughing)

(all singing)

(audience applause)

(cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

♫ Ground floor perfumery

♫ Stationary and leather goods

♫ Wigs and haberdashery

♫ Kitchenware and food, going up

(jazzy instrumental music)

♫ First floor, telephones

♫ Gents' ready-made suits

♫ Shirts, socks, ties, hats

♫ Underwear and shoes, going up

(jazzy instrumental music)

♫ Second floor, carpets

♫ Travel goods and bedding

♫ Material, soft furnishings

♫ Restaurants and teas, going up

(jazzy instrumental music)

(cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

♫ First floor, telephones

♫ Gent's ready-made suits

♫ Shirts, socks, ties, hats

♫ Underwear and shoes, going up

(jazzy instrumental music)

(cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

♫ Ground floor, perfumery

♫ Stationary and leather goods

♫ Wigs and haberdashery

♫ Kitchenware and food, going up

(jazzy instrumental music)

♫ (cash register drawer sliding and bell chiming)

(jazzy instrumental music)