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1
00:00:00,070 --> 00:00:01,032
[Siren wails]
2
00:00:01,033 --> 00:00:03,529
Anchorwoman: They're calling it
one of today's news stories.
3
00:00:03,530 --> 00:00:07,071
Two fugitives... Angela Tribeca
and Angela Geils Jr.
4
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:10,740
are on the run after a plot
to steal the Louisiana Purchase
5
00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:13,007
was foiled by Vice President Perry.
6
00:00:13,122 --> 00:00:16,299
Their last known location
was inside a convenience store.
7
00:00:16,299 --> 00:00:18,283
[ Chime plays]
8
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,462
Do you have anything to clean off DNA?
9
00:00:21,016 --> 00:00:23,258
- No. Sorry.
- [Clang]
10
00:00:23,259 --> 00:00:25,248
Can I get a six-pack of Coors Light?
11
00:00:26,409 --> 00:00:27,967
[Mumbling]
12
00:00:27,967 --> 00:00:29,147
And a beef roll-up.
13
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,141
Credit or debit?
14
00:00:31,759 --> 00:00:34,329
Do you take bills with
fluorescent dye all over 'em?
15
00:00:34,329 --> 00:00:35,700
Just nothing over $20.
16
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:38,093
I'm gonna go warm up the car.
17
00:00:38,692 --> 00:00:41,908
You in the convenience store,
they're right in front of you.
18
00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:45,244
[Door bell dings]
19
00:00:46,912 --> 00:00:48,491
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
20
00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:51,186
[Paper rustles]
21
00:00:51,187 --> 00:00:53,211
Don't even think about it.
22
00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:57,327
23
00:00:57,328 --> 00:00:58,344
Grab the beer.
24
00:00:59,348 --> 00:01:00,691
[Knocking]
25
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,820
Nice car you got here, lady.
26
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,002
Trade you this crowbar for it.
27
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,071
[Engine starts]
28
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,873
29
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:18,209
Sucker! [Laughs]
30
00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:20,879
[Gunshot]
31
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:27,806
32
00:01:27,807 --> 00:01:29,568
Ugh! They didn't clean.
33
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,221
34
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,794
[Whining]
35
00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:38,531
[Muffled screaming]
36
00:01:39,268 --> 00:01:41,936
Uh, yeah. We're gonna need
housekeeping in room 102.
37
00:01:42,464 --> 00:01:43,501
Man: Look out! [Distant screaming]
38
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:44,534
[Gunshots]
39
00:01:44,534 --> 00:01:45,425
No, it's fine.
40
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,567
Everything's been lovely so far.
41
00:01:47,568 --> 00:01:49,137
Yeah, thank you. Okay.
42
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:51,848
[Sighs]
43
00:01:53,638 --> 00:01:55,032
What's going on, son?
44
00:01:56,674 --> 00:01:58,129
It's just hitting, you know?
45
00:01:58,729 --> 00:02:01,607
The SDF, the "team." It was all a shame.
46
00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:04,320
Scholls, Atkins.
47
00:02:04,363 --> 00:02:06,610
Jesus! Charo.
48
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,681
The woman I went to second base with.
49
00:02:09,682 --> 00:02:11,263
She was playing me the whole time.
50
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,438
[Curtains rattle] Don't forget Hoffman.
51
00:02:14,154 --> 00:02:16,581
More people in my life
that abandoned me.
52
00:02:16,582 --> 00:02:18,813
Hey. That is not fair, okay?
53
00:02:18,814 --> 00:02:21,352
I abandoned you to make my life easier,
54
00:02:21,769 --> 00:02:24,015
not for some kind of
international land grab.
55
00:02:24,016 --> 00:02:25,715
How could I believe in anybody anymore?
56
00:02:25,716 --> 00:02:28,547
You can't. I learned a long time ago
57
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,911
that human beings
are rotten to the core.
58
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:33,789
They only do things that
benefit them in the short term.
59
00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:34,780
I call that bed.
60
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,041
- I thought they cared about us.
- [Water pours]
61
00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:40,519
I thought they cared what we're doing.
62
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:41,467
I know.
63
00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:45,171
You were so stupid.
64
00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:49,574
But hey. You got me, okay?
65
00:02:50,585 --> 00:02:53,399
And I'm never, ever gonna abandon you...
66
00:02:53,989 --> 00:02:55,118
for a second time.
67
00:02:55,791 --> 00:02:57,524
And even though he hasn't
been featured in this season,
68
00:02:57,592 --> 00:02:59,579
your father cares about you, too.
69
00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:03,072
That's why he sent this
for you in the mail.
70
00:03:03,799 --> 00:03:04,877
Dad's badge.
71
00:03:07,936 --> 00:03:10,356
I can't believe he
remembered my birthday.
72
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,277
Yeah, how could anyone forget that?
73
00:03:13,515 --> 00:03:18,483
That's why I got you
this very special, uhh,
74
00:03:19,348 --> 00:03:22,438
bible with a bullet hole in it.
75
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,688
Whoa. Cool.
76
00:03:28,181 --> 00:03:30,530
You could spin it on
your finger and everything.
77
00:03:30,530 --> 00:03:34,427
Thanks, mom! Now, what's this
about going to second base?
78
00:03:34,429 --> 00:03:39,366
79
00:03:39,434 --> 00:03:40,276
[Grunts]
80
00:03:41,325 --> 00:03:44,437
[Muffled screaming]
81
00:03:44,439 --> 00:03:50,644
82
00:03:50,713 --> 00:03:53,180
I want them found,
and I want them found now.
83
00:03:53,248 --> 00:03:54,365
Are those them!
84
00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,322
Oh, my God. Every time.
85
00:03:57,986 --> 00:03:59,920
So, who wants to tell me how we let
86
00:03:59,988 --> 00:04:03,324
A.J. and Tribeca escape
after we flawlessly framed them
87
00:04:03,392 --> 00:04:05,478
for stealing the Louisiana Purchase?
88
00:04:06,908 --> 00:04:07,748
Hmm?
89
00:04:10,599 --> 00:04:12,514
I'm gonna start calling on people.
90
00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:16,537
Sweetheart, we've tracked their
location to a 25-mile radius.
91
00:04:16,605 --> 00:04:17,871
Their credit cards have been frozen.
92
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:19,571
Their passports have been canceled,
93
00:04:19,646 --> 00:04:22,209
and their Uber ratings have
been downgraded to one star.
94
00:04:22,277 --> 00:04:23,768
I can't stay mad at you.
95
00:04:26,081 --> 00:04:28,015
[Kissing]
96
00:04:30,085 --> 00:04:31,618
[Laughs]
97
00:04:31,687 --> 00:04:34,221
There's something going
on between you two.
98
00:04:34,288 --> 00:04:36,446
Listen, Joe, I take full responsibility
99
00:04:36,447 --> 00:04:38,023
for the fact that these guys screwed up,
100
00:04:38,023 --> 00:04:40,961
but we need to stay focused
on the task at hand.
101
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:44,965
Returning the Louisiana Purchase
to the President of France.
102
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:48,969
Thereby undoing the disastrous
transaction made in 1803.
103
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,807
And forming a new country
in the central United States
104
00:04:51,808 --> 00:04:53,406
of which you will be made President,
105
00:04:53,476 --> 00:04:54,675
and I will be First Lady.
106
00:04:54,743 --> 00:04:56,941
Yes. Yes.
107
00:04:57,346 --> 00:05:00,213
108
00:05:00,215 --> 00:05:01,815
Now then, the President of France
109
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,731
is awaiting my arrival
at Gerard Depardieu Airport.
110
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:06,687
While I'm aboard Air Force Two,
111
00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:08,708
I want you to track down
A.J. and Tribeca.
112
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,441
They're the only thing
that stands between me
113
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:11,976
and becoming the president of
what I'm gonna call
114
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,979
Lil' France with a hip-hop
apostrophe after Lil'
115
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,801
to play to the younger citizens.
116
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,420
You said you were going
to name it Scholls.
117
00:05:19,421 --> 00:05:20,705
It didn't test well.
118
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,908
Good call on whoever
ordered the deli platter.
119
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,138
I am famished.
120
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,500
- [ Chomp]
- Ohh.
121
00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:32,885
What are we gonna do?
122
00:05:33,270 --> 00:05:35,884
Once that document gets
to France, it's game over.
123
00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:38,436
They'll have the deed
to the entire Midwest.
124
00:05:40,981 --> 00:05:43,665
Okay, so we figure out a way
to sneak aboard Air Force Two.
125
00:05:43,666 --> 00:05:45,074
We secure the Purchase.
126
00:05:45,075 --> 00:05:47,424
Hold Perry hostage.
Notify the president.
127
00:05:47,425 --> 00:05:49,305
And then land safely
at Andrews Air Force Base.
128
00:05:49,306 --> 00:05:52,097
Air Force Two is the second-most
secure plane in the world.
129
00:05:52,098 --> 00:05:55,553
I realize that.
And we're wanted fugitives.
130
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,850
Our faces are plastered all over town.
131
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,733
But his isn't.
132
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,429
But our faces are.
133
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:05,957
And we're the ones that need
to get on the plane.
134
00:06:05,958 --> 00:06:08,856
But if one of us had his face,
we would sail right through.
135
00:06:08,857 --> 00:06:10,435
But one of us doesn't.
136
00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:12,036
So, we still have the same problem.
137
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,966
But what if one of us did?
138
00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:16,913
[Sighs] Ugh.
139
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,777
She's saying that if you cut off my face
140
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:22,593
and put it on one of your faces,
you can pass through security.
141
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:27,051
Oh, so you mean we take his...
142
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,668
face off?
143
00:06:30,129 --> 00:06:32,096
I will become him.
144
00:06:37,247 --> 00:06:38,779
[People groan]
145
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,152
Sorry, folks. Looks like Air Force Two
146
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,383
is stuck here another 45 minutes.
147
00:06:44,286 --> 00:06:46,620
[Indistinct conversations]
148
00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:47,674
Cardin!
149
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,344
How the hell did you get
away from those animals?
150
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,345
[With American accent]
It sure as hell wasn't easy.
151
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,520
Tribeca put up quite a fight.
152
00:06:55,521 --> 00:06:57,598
Man, she's amazing.
153
00:06:58,086 --> 00:07:00,192
What happened to your French accent?
154
00:07:00,193 --> 00:07:01,383
Oh, right.
155
00:07:01,857 --> 00:07:04,655
You know that thing where you
start to bond with your captors?
156
00:07:04,656 --> 00:07:06,358
I must have taken on their accent.
157
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,205
[With French accent] Oh, there it is!
158
00:07:08,206 --> 00:07:10,000
Ahh, liberation!
159
00:07:10,001 --> 00:07:13,373
Ah, it's very sweet and...
160
00:07:13,913 --> 00:07:17,029
Anyway. Pierre. You're here.
161
00:07:17,030 --> 00:07:17,973
How on earth?
162
00:07:18,329 --> 00:07:21,531
Actually, it was easiest on earth.
163
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,720
Tribeca and A.J. were no
match for Pierre Cardin.
164
00:07:24,795 --> 00:07:26,194
Although Tribeca does somehow manage
165
00:07:26,263 --> 00:07:29,132
to be both tough and elegant
at the same time.
166
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,535
Really? That's not how
I would describe her.
167
00:07:33,404 --> 00:07:35,070
[Radio crackles]
Gate agent: Okay, folks.
168
00:07:35,072 --> 00:07:36,672
Looks like we've got
things sorted out here
169
00:07:36,741 --> 00:07:38,273
and are ready to board Air Force Two.
170
00:07:38,343 --> 00:07:40,075
We are calling families
and small children
171
00:07:40,145 --> 00:07:43,685
and anybody who needs additional
time to get on the aircraft.
172
00:07:44,349 --> 00:07:45,309
Let's go.
173
00:07:48,419 --> 00:07:49,245
[Blows]
174
00:07:49,821 --> 00:07:51,212
- Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
- It's a red light.
175
00:07:51,213 --> 00:07:52,384
Oh, no, no, no.
176
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:56,159
And then we went to Jefferson Memorial.
177
00:07:56,227 --> 00:08:01,430
Ugh. Hands down, filthiest
bathrooms I've ever seen.
178
00:08:01,757 --> 00:08:04,767
I could barely flush. Zero toilet paper.
179
00:08:04,836 --> 00:08:06,797
Urine all over the sink.
180
00:08:07,104 --> 00:08:09,901
Could you maybe find another seat?
181
00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:11,363
Oh, sorry.
182
00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:12,908
Secret Service has to stay near
183
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,731
the vice president at all times.
184
00:08:16,514 --> 00:08:19,468
Season Two of "The Detour." Nice.
185
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,518
- [ Horn honks]
- [Bong!]
186
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,054
Pilot: That chime means we've
reached our cruising altitude,
187
00:08:25,122 --> 00:08:27,322
and you are free to
silently fart in your seat.
188
00:08:27,392 --> 00:08:28,858
Oh, good.
189
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:32,061
Uh, pardon me, I'm going to see
190
00:08:32,129 --> 00:08:36,364
if they have gluten-free blankets.
191
00:08:36,668 --> 00:08:38,934
Attendant: What can I get for you, Mr.
Vice President?
192
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,603
I'll just have a cup of coffee, please.
193
00:08:40,672 --> 00:08:42,137
We have Coors Light.
194
00:08:42,207 --> 00:08:45,274
Coors Light, as in born
in the Rockies, Coors Light?
195
00:08:45,343 --> 00:08:48,010
- Yes.
- Well, why didn't you say so?
196
00:08:48,079 --> 00:08:50,145
I'll have one now
and another one in an hour
197
00:08:50,147 --> 00:08:53,082
when my body has safely
metabolized the first one.
198
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:55,581
- And that's it.
- Good thinking, sir.
199
00:08:56,754 --> 00:08:59,422
[Fan blowing, can opens]
200
00:08:59,490 --> 00:09:08,564
201
00:09:08,566 --> 00:09:12,866
202
00:09:14,505 --> 00:09:15,594
[Grunts]
203
00:09:16,869 --> 00:09:19,364
I hope it wasn't too
cramped in there for you.
204
00:09:19,419 --> 00:09:26,249
205
00:09:26,317 --> 00:09:27,516
[Grunts]
206
00:09:27,585 --> 00:09:28,976
[Crash!]
207
00:09:29,787 --> 00:09:31,520
Thanks, mom. How we doing?
208
00:09:31,589 --> 00:09:34,924
Armed and dangerous, son.
Armed and dangerous.
209
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:36,525
[Guns cock]
210
00:09:36,594 --> 00:09:46,602
211
00:09:46,671 --> 00:09:49,446
Let's move. Okay. You work
your way up from the back.
212
00:09:49,491 --> 00:09:51,321
I'm gonna follow this compartment
all the way to the front.
213
00:09:51,322 --> 00:09:52,835
Copy that. And hey.
214
00:09:53,548 --> 00:09:54,803
Be careful.
215
00:09:57,113 --> 00:09:59,913
I don't want anything
happening to my baby boy.
216
00:10:01,891 --> 00:10:02,822
[Kiss]
217
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:08,058
218
00:10:08,151 --> 00:10:09,623
[Sobs]
219
00:10:10,112 --> 00:10:13,026
220
00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:13,895
Hyah!
221
00:10:15,312 --> 00:10:16,313
[Grunts]
222
00:10:17,587 --> 00:10:21,121
223
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,450
[Sniffs]
224
00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:23,763
Hyah!
225
00:10:25,127 --> 00:10:30,197
226
00:10:30,266 --> 00:10:31,242
Whoo.
227
00:10:33,705 --> 00:10:34,530
Hyah!
228
00:10:37,435 --> 00:10:38,712
[Curtains rattle]
229
00:10:39,318 --> 00:10:43,853
230
00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:45,950
Ha!
231
00:10:46,282 --> 00:10:55,720
232
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:56,575
Hyah!
233
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:03,224
234
00:11:03,225 --> 00:11:04,007
Whoo.
235
00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:07,183
Oh, wait. Shit.
236
00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:09,212
Ugh.
237
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,406
Nope.
238
00:11:12,267 --> 00:11:14,041
- Ugh.
- [Slapping]
239
00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:15,443
What, what?! What's happening?
What's going on?
240
00:11:15,511 --> 00:11:17,379
Shut up. You're coming with me.
241
00:11:17,903 --> 00:11:20,598
Not if the Secret Service
has anything to do with it.
242
00:11:21,039 --> 00:11:22,118
[Snorts]
243
00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:27,242
Move it.
244
00:11:30,485 --> 00:11:32,447
You sure this is the right place?
245
00:11:34,014 --> 00:11:35,281
No doubt about it.
246
00:11:35,385 --> 00:11:36,258
Sir?
247
00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:38,764
I found Cardin.
248
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:42,290
[Moans]
249
00:11:42,291 --> 00:11:43,286
Oh, my God.
250
00:11:48,123 --> 00:11:49,286
Well, well, well.
251
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:51,917
If it isn't Vice President Joe Perry.
252
00:11:52,091 --> 00:11:53,566
You're not Cardin, are you?
253
00:11:53,609 --> 00:11:55,406
Why don't you figure out who I am?
254
00:11:55,407 --> 00:11:56,855
I'll give you 20 years.
255
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,084
Tribeca.
256
00:11:58,310 --> 00:11:59,520
In the flesh...
257
00:11:59,937 --> 00:12:01,213
of another person.
258
00:12:01,376 --> 00:12:02,975
You'll never get away with it.
259
00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,592
These pilots are flying to Paris,
260
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,060
no matter what orders they're given.
261
00:12:06,135 --> 00:12:06,790
I don't know.
262
00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:08,929
I think the pilots might
be swayed by your head
263
00:12:08,998 --> 00:12:10,664
- rolling into the cockpit.
- Well, of course.
264
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:12,593
Anyone's gonna be curious about that.
265
00:12:12,594 --> 00:12:13,656
Care to wager?
266
00:12:13,923 --> 00:12:15,856
Loser gets 20 years in prison.
267
00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:19,636
All right! I sent you to
prison for 20 years once!
268
00:12:19,637 --> 00:12:21,891
Jesus! Turn this plane around!
269
00:12:22,151 --> 00:12:24,485
We're calling the president,
and we're landing in Washington.
270
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,013
Hope you like being executed.
271
00:12:26,089 --> 00:12:27,888
I'm afraid we'll never
find out how he feels
272
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:29,617
- [Gun cocks]
- about being executed.
273
00:12:29,685 --> 00:12:31,533
Drop the guns. Now.
274
00:12:33,222 --> 00:12:34,110
Sure thing.
275
00:12:34,268 --> 00:12:35,049
[Gunshot]
276
00:12:35,364 --> 00:12:36,138
Ugh!
277
00:12:39,979 --> 00:12:42,379
Anyone see that coming?
278
00:12:42,505 --> 00:12:44,536
Mom, you shot Dr. Scholls!
279
00:12:44,903 --> 00:12:47,790
Scholls died the second
she switched sides.
280
00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,074
Monica, I'm sorry.
281
00:12:50,372 --> 00:12:54,333
Thank you for raising me those
three weeks when I was a baby.
282
00:12:55,911 --> 00:13:00,673
I loved kissing
your big... chubby... teeth.
283
00:13:01,717 --> 00:13:05,616
284
00:13:05,617 --> 00:13:08,843
Why don't I just go talk to the
pilots about changing course?
285
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:12,555
[Beeping]
286
00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:15,902
Sir? Air Force Two is changing course.
287
00:13:16,323 --> 00:13:17,722
Something's wrong.
288
00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:22,243
I thought you said we had
some down time before it landed.
289
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,034
Come in, Air Force Two.
Come in, Air Force Two.
290
00:13:25,036 --> 00:13:26,235
[Radio crackles]
291
00:13:26,241 --> 00:13:27,247
This is Perry.
292
00:13:27,861 --> 00:13:29,838
Joe. It looks like...
293
00:13:30,909 --> 00:13:32,441
your plane is changing course.
294
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:33,596
Everything okay?
295
00:13:34,179 --> 00:13:35,430
Everything is okay.
296
00:13:36,247 --> 00:13:39,772
Are you sure everything's okay?
It doesn't sound like it.
297
00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:42,957
No, everything is definitely okay.
298
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:48,078
If you're in trouble, signify
by using the duress code.
299
00:13:48,988 --> 00:13:50,658
I am not under duress.
300
00:13:50,908 --> 00:13:52,040
Duress code received.
301
00:13:52,197 --> 00:13:54,197
Initiating emergency response.
302
00:13:54,265 --> 00:13:55,290
[Beeping]
303
00:13:55,291 --> 00:13:58,777
Cancel emergency response.
I am not under duress.
304
00:13:58,778 --> 00:14:00,625
Copy on duress authentication code.
305
00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:02,071
Moving ahead with response.
306
00:14:02,073 --> 00:14:05,542
I am really, really,
really not under duress.
307
00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:08,191
That's three "reallys."
Duress level three.
308
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,095
Call the president.
309
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:13,129
Atkins, listen to me very closely.
310
00:14:13,364 --> 00:14:15,765
I am not sending you
the authentication code.
311
00:14:15,954 --> 00:14:18,990
Or any other codes.
Throw 'em all out the window.
312
00:14:19,231 --> 00:14:20,457
Got it? All of 'em.
313
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,826
Now, I'm the vice president,
and everyone on board
314
00:14:23,895 --> 00:14:26,629
is acting of their own volition
and are totally safe.
315
00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:29,260
So, stand down and
don't contact me again.
316
00:14:30,076 --> 00:14:31,124
Roger that.
317
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,105
They've got Perry dead
to rights in the cockpit,
318
00:14:36,107 --> 00:14:37,907
and they're turning around
heading back to Washington
319
00:14:37,976 --> 00:14:40,137
to return the Louisiana Purchase.
320
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:43,275
He gave me the exact code word-for-word.
321
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,494
We have to shoot
the plane out of the sky.
322
00:14:50,722 --> 00:14:51,921
- Sir, we can't.
- I know. I know.
323
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:54,123
It was just fun to think
about for a second.
324
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:56,531
Get Scholls on the horn. And I mean now!
325
00:15:00,265 --> 00:15:01,970
[Horn blowing]
326
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:06,636
327
00:15:11,896 --> 00:15:13,915
I'm thinking of growing a beard.
328
00:15:14,712 --> 00:15:16,664
Isn't there like a super-itchy phase?
329
00:15:17,515 --> 00:15:18,605
[Door opens]
330
00:15:18,606 --> 00:15:20,767
Drop your gun and let go of the plane.
331
00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:22,852
[Gun clatters]
332
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,187
Did you really think you could...
333
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,989
[Gunshot]
334
00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:28,816
Some people just can't
handle the cabin pressure.
335
00:15:29,106 --> 00:15:30,067
Thanks, mom!
336
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:31,885
- [Gunshot]
- [Grunts]
337
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:36,451
Always remember to put
your mask on first.
338
00:15:36,827 --> 00:15:38,598
Susan. Thank God.
339
00:15:39,853 --> 00:15:41,385
- [Gunshot]
- Ugh!
340
00:15:41,539 --> 00:15:44,241
Nobody kills my mom
and gets away with it.
341
00:15:45,677 --> 00:15:48,085
It's okay, A.J. She just winged me.
342
00:15:48,392 --> 00:15:50,726
Oh. Sorry, Susan.
343
00:15:50,882 --> 00:15:52,682
Alarm voice: Altitude, altitude!
344
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,884
Ground approaching faster than I'd like.
345
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:57,287
For God�s sakes! The plane's going down!
346
00:15:57,355 --> 00:15:59,168
Get the real pilots back in here!
347
00:15:59,891 --> 00:16:00,824
Hang on a second!
348
00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:03,293
- [Gunshots]
- Ugh! Ugh!
349
00:16:03,361 --> 00:16:05,829
- What are you saying?
- Are you insane?!
350
00:16:05,897 --> 00:16:08,231
I surrender.
You can have the purchase back.
351
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,967
The deal is off! Just save my life!
352
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:13,369
Think you can land this thing?
353
00:16:13,371 --> 00:16:16,198
354
00:16:16,199 --> 00:16:17,787
You bet your ass I can.
355
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,978
[Clanging]
356
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,748
[Police radio chatter]
357
00:16:30,188 --> 00:16:30,985
Sorry.
358
00:16:31,456 --> 00:16:32,693
You tried your best.
359
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,677
Thanks.
360
00:16:34,678 --> 00:16:36,522
Man, this thing was hot.
361
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:37,994
Thank you.
362
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,262
[Grunts]
363
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:40,357
Where's Perry?
364
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:43,045
[Clank]
365
00:16:44,802 --> 00:16:47,262
Freeze, or I'll drop you
like a sick beat.
366
00:16:47,935 --> 00:16:49,802
[Siren wails]
367
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,408
["Hail to the Chief" playing]
368
00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:55,145
[Tires squealing]
369
00:16:55,213 --> 00:16:58,482
370
00:16:58,550 --> 00:16:59,837
Madame President.
371
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:04,905
Thank God. I caught the terrorists.
372
00:17:05,423 --> 00:17:07,023
They tried to hijack my plane,
373
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,291
but I fought them off.
374
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,898
Oh, stick it up your ass, Joe.
Everybody knows you're dirty.
375
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,099
Someone arrest this traitor.
376
00:17:14,622 --> 00:17:15,518
With pleasure.
377
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:18,835
[Cuffs jingle]
378
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:21,237
Oh! Okay. What are you doing?
379
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,106
Nobody move, or the kid gets it.
380
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,640
You don't have the guts.
381
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,577
Actually, Tribeca, it's you
that doesn't have the guts.
382
00:17:27,645 --> 00:17:29,245
I've known it from the beginning.
383
00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:32,048
Why do you think I sent you
to prison for 20 years?
384
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,917
I kept you on ice
until your son was old enough
385
00:17:33,985 --> 00:17:36,199
to join the Special Division Force.
386
00:17:36,654 --> 00:17:38,692
You see, he's my insurance policy.
387
00:17:39,156 --> 00:17:40,590
I'm warning you, Joe.
388
00:17:40,658 --> 00:17:42,726
You do this, and you can forget about
389
00:17:42,794 --> 00:17:44,879
breaking the next tie in the Senate.
390
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,663
I'm afraid you don't know me
as well as you think you do,
391
00:17:47,665 --> 00:17:49,399
- Mr. Vice President.
- Joe is fine.
392
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:52,936
See, I taught my kid that
humans are rotten to the core,
393
00:17:53,004 --> 00:17:55,739
and they only do what benefits
them in the short term.
394
00:17:55,807 --> 00:17:57,405
You think I'm any different?
395
00:17:57,750 --> 00:17:59,875
Even you wouldn't shoot
your own son, Tribeca.
396
00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:01,199
- [Gunshot]
- Ugh!
397
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,479
Mom, what have you done?
398
00:18:03,481 --> 00:18:04,680
[Groaning]
399
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,617
Like I said, A.J. Don't trust anyone.
400
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,697
That is, anyone except me.
401
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:14,664
'Cause you're my baby boy.
402
00:18:15,493 --> 00:18:18,762
403
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:21,768
Wow. You aimed for dad's badge.
404
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,433
Uh-huh.
405
00:18:24,302 --> 00:18:25,368
I love you, mom.
406
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:26,810
I like you, too, kid.
407
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,216
[Tires squeal]
408
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:34,710
Everybody freeze, damn it!
409
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,442
If anybody moves a muscle,
I swear I will...
410
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:39,983
I told you we were gonna be late.
411
00:18:40,051 --> 00:18:42,718
And I told you the
drive-thru takes longer.
412
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,989
Atkins, once again,
you served this country
413
00:18:46,057 --> 00:18:47,524
with great distinction.
414
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,594
And Joe, I knew from the moment
415
00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:53,647
I chose you as my running mate
that you were corrupt.
416
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:57,133
I assigned Atkins here to tail you
417
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:58,899
until you slipped up.
418
00:19:00,252 --> 00:19:02,205
You were on our side the whole time?
419
00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:03,515
That's right, Tribeca.
420
00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:06,367
I'll always be Lieutenant Atkins.
421
00:19:07,819 --> 00:19:08,654
Atkins?
422
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:12,196
I hereby appoint you
Secretary of Defense.
423
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:16,688
And Tribeca, how does
vice president sound to you?
424
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:20,071
With all due respect, Madame President,
425
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,559
I've been doing a lot of
thinking in the past 11 seconds,
426
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,629
and I think it might be time
427
00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:27,638
for me to ride off into the sunset.
428
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:29,765
The world is too different now,
429
00:19:29,767 --> 00:19:32,678
and I just can't find my place in it.
430
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,774
I'll be vice president!
431
00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:37,143
You got it.
432
00:19:41,579 --> 00:19:43,341
Wait! [Grunts]
433
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:45,581
- Wait!
- She's got a bomb!
434
00:19:45,583 --> 00:19:46,650
[Guns cock]
435
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:48,452
Wait! No, she doesn't. She doesn't.
436
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,453
It's... It's a backpack. Stand down.
437
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,346
Oh.
438
00:19:53,312 --> 00:19:54,991
- Did you tell them about the...
- Yes.
439
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:57,319
- Does she know about the...
- Yes, we've covered everything.
440
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,184
Oh.
441
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,273
Except what Tribeca's gonna do next.
442
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:03,932
[Sighs]
443
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:06,602
I just wanna be as far away
444
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:09,752
from rules and structure
as I possibly can.
445
00:20:10,942 --> 00:20:13,356
446
00:20:13,357 --> 00:20:15,611
[Laughing]
447
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:19,549
[Indistinct conversations]
448
00:20:19,617 --> 00:20:22,888
My name is Tribeca,
and this is U.S. History.
449
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,689
Tribeca! Get the hell in here!
450
00:20:25,757 --> 00:20:28,492
[Sighs] Coming, Principal Atkins.
451
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,695
[Laughter]
452
00:20:33,965 --> 00:20:45,575
453
00:20:45,643 --> 00:20:58,088
454
00:20:58,089 --> 00:21:01,349
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455
00:21:01,399 --> 00:21:05,949
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