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1
00:00:03,444 --> 00:00:05,411
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- JUDY: Oh!
2
00:00:05,423 --> 00:00:07,853
Boys, we have very exciting news.
3
00:00:07,865 --> 00:00:09,430
We bought burial plots.
4
00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:11,233
For all of us.
5
00:00:11,235 --> 00:00:12,601
Burial plots?
6
00:00:12,603 --> 00:00:14,503
I don't want to think
about this. It's too sad.
7
00:00:14,505 --> 00:00:17,706
But what's even sadder
is not having planned ahead
8
00:00:17,708 --> 00:00:20,643
and having to go
to the bad part of the cemetery
9
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:22,044
like poor Uncle Murray.
10
00:00:22,046 --> 00:00:23,145
JUDY: Oh, his plot
11
00:00:23,147 --> 00:00:24,713
was so far away from the parking lot,
12
00:00:24,715 --> 00:00:27,516
even if we had liked him,
we didn't want to visit.
13
00:00:27,518 --> 00:00:29,752
So, what, you met
with an estate planner?
14
00:00:29,754 --> 00:00:32,321
No, no. I got a pop-up advertisement
15
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,390
- and got a great deal on the plots.
- Mm-hmm.
16
00:00:34,392 --> 00:00:35,724
It just popped up.
17
00:00:35,726 --> 00:00:37,059
Yeah, I saw it happen.
18
00:00:37,061 --> 00:00:39,061
It wasn't there, and then, pop, it was.
19
00:00:39,063 --> 00:00:40,396
HARRY: And we now have
20
00:00:40,398 --> 00:00:44,066
four gorgeous plots
under a big oak tree.
21
00:00:44,068 --> 00:00:45,568
Four plots? What about Eve?
22
00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:47,203
Wha... Hmm?
23
00:00:47,205 --> 00:00:48,971
And what about my future wife
24
00:00:48,973 --> 00:00:50,406
who I hope to meet someday?
25
00:00:50,408 --> 00:00:52,775
Josh, you tried marriage.
It didn't work.
26
00:00:52,777 --> 00:00:54,477
Just be buried with your mother.
27
00:00:54,479 --> 00:00:56,212
No, thank you. Not doing it.
28
00:00:56,214 --> 00:00:59,582
Come on, you guys could spoon
for all eternity.
29
00:00:59,584 --> 00:01:00,916
Okay, you know what?
30
00:01:00,918 --> 00:01:03,185
I was here, and then, pop, I wasn't.
31
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,722
- I guess that means Eve is in.
- (DOOR CLOSES)
32
00:01:06,724 --> 00:01:08,491
Well, Harry, try to be positive.
33
00:01:08,493 --> 00:01:10,192
Josh may still wind up alone
34
00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:12,261
and want to join us.
35
00:01:13,498 --> 00:01:15,731
Okay. Feel better, buddy.
36
00:01:15,733 --> 00:01:18,534
I'm so sorry, sis; I can't go
to the concert with you now.
37
00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:21,070
- Why not?
- 'Cause Ernesto has a mouth rash,
38
00:01:21,072 --> 00:01:24,106
which is extra nasty because
we share a whistle.
39
00:01:24,108 --> 00:01:26,642
So, how about you just give me
the tickets to the concert,
40
00:01:26,644 --> 00:01:28,471
and I'll go with someone else?
41
00:01:28,595 --> 00:01:31,046
- Like who?
- Don't worry, not a guy.
42
00:01:31,048 --> 00:01:32,248
I'll call Debbie.
43
00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:33,782
Ooh, Fat Debbie or Skinny Debbie?
44
00:01:33,784 --> 00:01:35,217
Fat Debbie.
45
00:01:35,219 --> 00:01:37,119
Ooh, tell her I said "what up."
46
00:01:37,121 --> 00:01:38,787
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
47
00:01:38,789 --> 00:01:40,956
- All right, I'll see you in a minute.
- Okay.
48
00:01:42,384 --> 00:01:46,695
Okay. Well, well, well. Look at
my man getting some sweet action.
49
00:01:46,697 --> 00:01:48,631
- Oh, no, no, no, no. See, that's...
- Don't "oh, no, no" me.
50
00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:51,033
You dish it out when I'm with a girl.
51
00:01:51,035 --> 00:01:55,004
So, did you feel like a pirate
when you plundered that booty?
52
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:57,840
That was my sister.
53
00:01:57,842 --> 00:01:59,542
I did not know that was your sister.
54
00:01:59,544 --> 00:02:01,610
If I had, I wouldn't
have mentioned her booty,
55
00:02:01,612 --> 00:02:03,879
and certainly not your plundering of it.
56
00:02:03,881 --> 00:02:05,314
- NICK: Yeah. Yeah.
- JOSH: So sorry.
57
00:02:05,316 --> 00:02:07,550
Well, Debbie can't go to the concert.
58
00:02:07,552 --> 00:02:08,751
Just as well.
59
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:11,253
The seats at the arena
are pretty narrow.
60
00:02:11,255 --> 00:02:14,123
Oh, Josh, uh, this is my sister, Toni.
61
00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:16,025
Toni, this is Josh.
He lives in the building.
62
00:02:16,027 --> 00:02:17,927
With his parents.
63
00:02:18,908 --> 00:02:20,696
Next to my parents. Hi.
64
00:02:20,698 --> 00:02:22,331
Hi. I was supposed to take Toni
65
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:23,766
to see Chance The Rapper, but, uh,
66
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,467
I got to stay and cover for Ernesto.
67
00:02:25,469 --> 00:02:27,469
Ah, so I guess you missed your chance
68
00:02:27,471 --> 00:02:29,004
to see the rapper.
69
00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:31,440
Lame wordplay's not gonna help, Josh.
70
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:32,575
Well...
71
00:02:32,577 --> 00:02:34,443
But, um, would you step
72
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,711
- into the office really quick?
- Sure.
73
00:02:35,713 --> 00:02:37,680
Okay. Hey, so, you're...
74
00:02:37,682 --> 00:02:38,881
you're an upstanding guy.
75
00:02:38,883 --> 00:02:40,382
Right? Uh, do you think
76
00:02:40,384 --> 00:02:42,451
that maybe you could take
Toni to the concert?
77
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:45,187
Oh. Uh, well, actually,
I don't have plans tonight.
78
00:02:45,189 --> 00:02:47,894
- Shocking.
- Look.
79
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:50,459
You'd really be helping me out.
I'd feel a lot better if I knew
80
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:51,794
someone I trusted is with her.
81
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,996
Uh, yeah, sure.
I'd be happy to take her.
82
00:02:53,998 --> 00:02:55,164
Ay, yo, Tone.
83
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:56,298
Your big brother just got you
84
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:57,597
a plus-one for the show.
85
00:02:57,609 --> 00:03:00,135
And I will be that plus-one.
86
00:03:01,238 --> 00:03:03,939
? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ?
87
00:03:03,941 --> 00:03:06,742
? Come on, won't you take me home? ?
88
00:03:06,965 --> 00:03:10,247
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
89
00:03:12,972 --> 00:03:15,260
Your parents bought us burial plots?
90
00:03:15,272 --> 00:03:17,506
Yes. And I know what you're
gonna say, but don't worry.
91
00:03:17,508 --> 00:03:19,141
I'll take the one next to my mother.
92
00:03:19,143 --> 00:03:21,643
Consider it my parting gift to you.
93
00:03:21,645 --> 00:03:23,445
That's very nice
in a morbid kind of way,
94
00:03:23,447 --> 00:03:26,248
- but I'm getting cremated.
- Cremated?
95
00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:28,417
- Yeah. Told you that.
- No, you haven't.
96
00:03:28,419 --> 00:03:30,085
Yes, I have. It's something
that I've always wanted.
97
00:03:30,087 --> 00:03:31,753
Other kids wanted to play in the ocean,
98
00:03:31,755 --> 00:03:34,623
I wanted to have my ashes spread in it.
99
00:03:34,625 --> 00:03:36,925
So you can be run over by a cruise ship
100
00:03:36,927 --> 00:03:39,194
or sucked into a Jet Ski?
101
00:03:39,196 --> 00:03:42,998
The ocean is just so free
and peaceful. Ooh.
102
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,633
Maybe if Wyatt dumps me in Malibu,
103
00:03:44,635 --> 00:03:47,436
James Franco will swim in me.
104
00:03:47,438 --> 00:03:49,838
We should be buried.
That way there's a place
105
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,941
for our son and various
other admirers to mourn us.
106
00:03:52,943 --> 00:03:55,777
And they're going to mourn hard.
107
00:03:55,779 --> 00:03:58,313
Andrew, you know I'm claustrophobic.
108
00:03:58,315 --> 00:04:00,148
I can't stand the thought of being close
109
00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:01,950
to all that dirt and bugs and...
110
00:04:01,952 --> 00:04:04,085
your mother.
111
00:04:04,087 --> 00:04:06,421
Forget about her.
We can be buried anywhere.
112
00:04:06,423 --> 00:04:09,257
The point is we're together forever.
113
00:04:09,259 --> 00:04:11,359
Oh, babe, that's so sweet.
114
00:04:11,361 --> 00:04:13,895
But maybe we go with what
the guy at our wedding said.
115
00:04:13,897 --> 00:04:16,431
Remember? "Till death do you part."
116
00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:17,632
I took that as a question.
117
00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:19,668
"Do you part?" No, you don't.
118
00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:22,070
So get cremated with me.
119
00:04:22,072 --> 00:04:25,106
I don't even like
to be under a heat lamp.
120
00:04:29,833 --> 00:04:31,346
Well, Nick must really trust you.
121
00:04:31,348 --> 00:04:33,448
He didn't text me once during the show.
122
00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:34,583
Oh, he usually does?
123
00:04:34,585 --> 00:04:36,985
Oh, yeah. Like, if I had gone
with Debbie tonight,
124
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:39,654
he would have been all like,
"Don't drink too much.
125
00:04:39,656 --> 00:04:41,122
"Don't talk to any guys.
126
00:04:41,124 --> 00:04:44,793
Ay, hit me with a picture
of Debbie's butt." (LAUGHS)
127
00:04:45,613 --> 00:04:49,297
Believe me, I understand having a
relative who loves you way too much.
128
00:04:49,299 --> 00:04:50,599
Oh, that's right.
129
00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:52,334
You live with your parents.
130
00:04:52,336 --> 00:04:54,569
Next to. They're very happy
131
00:04:54,571 --> 00:04:56,605
that I just moved back
here from Los Angeles.
132
00:04:56,607 --> 00:04:59,274
Well, one of my girlfriends
just got a job in San Francisco.
133
00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:00,876
She wants me to go with her.
134
00:05:00,878 --> 00:05:02,677
Oh, my God. San Francisco's great.
135
00:05:02,679 --> 00:05:04,446
Well, Nick doesn't think I should do it.
136
00:05:05,663 --> 00:05:07,215
You know, I know how you feel.
137
00:05:07,217 --> 00:05:09,784
My mother has always gotten
way too involved in my life,
138
00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:12,287
but I reached a point where
I just put my foot down.
139
00:05:12,289 --> 00:05:13,855
(PHONE VIBRATES)
140
00:05:13,857 --> 00:05:15,991
And of course, that's her.
141
00:05:15,993 --> 00:05:17,626
Uh, she gets nervous if I don't answer.
142
00:05:17,628 --> 00:05:18,827
Mmm.
143
00:05:18,829 --> 00:05:20,262
What, Mom?
144
00:05:20,264 --> 00:05:22,697
Yes, I will bring home
vanilla ice cream.
145
00:05:22,699 --> 00:05:24,266
Good-bye.
146
00:05:24,268 --> 00:05:26,535
Foot's not totally down,
but it's getting there.
147
00:05:27,604 --> 00:05:29,571
? ?
148
00:05:30,647 --> 00:05:32,073
Eve doesn't want the plot.
149
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,043
- Why?
- Apparently, she's getting cremated.
150
00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:36,678
When?
151
00:05:38,015 --> 00:05:41,116
So, I guess it's just the
three of us down there.
152
00:05:41,118 --> 00:05:43,718
Well, what are we gonna do
with the extra plot?
153
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,020
We could give it to my mother.
154
00:05:45,022 --> 00:05:47,522
Over my dead body.
155
00:05:47,524 --> 00:05:50,325
Well, yeah.
156
00:05:50,327 --> 00:05:52,027
Maybe you could sell it.
157
00:05:52,029 --> 00:05:55,230
I don't want to spend eternity
next to somebody I don't know.
158
00:05:55,232 --> 00:05:56,498
Well, how about to one of your friends.
159
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,366
Just not the one who used to kiss me
160
00:05:58,368 --> 00:06:01,336
with that scraggly mustache...
I don't like her.
161
00:06:01,338 --> 00:06:03,204
A friend is a good idea,
162
00:06:03,206 --> 00:06:05,907
but it would be much easier
to move a pair.
163
00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:08,109
We don't have a pair; we have Andrew.
164
00:06:08,111 --> 00:06:10,045
But if we didn't have Andrew...
165
00:06:14,538 --> 00:06:17,552
You have got to be kidding me.
Are you seriously kicking me out?
166
00:06:17,554 --> 00:06:19,421
Only if we could sell the plots.
167
00:06:19,423 --> 00:06:22,457
Great. Now no one wants
to be buried with me.
168
00:06:22,459 --> 00:06:24,359
? ?
169
00:06:25,342 --> 00:06:27,662
So, even though my parents really
wanted me to go to law school,
170
00:06:27,664 --> 00:06:29,564
I chose to become an actor,
171
00:06:29,566 --> 00:06:31,232
and I've never regretted it.
172
00:06:31,234 --> 00:06:33,268
Except for the part where
my show got canceled
173
00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:35,270
and I now live next to my parents.
174
00:06:36,607 --> 00:06:38,896
It's really brave of you
to just go for it.
175
00:06:38,908 --> 00:06:41,109
I know I'm gonna regret
not going to San Francisco.
176
00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,644
Well, then you should go.
177
00:06:42,646 --> 00:06:44,613
I mean, if you want something,
178
00:06:44,615 --> 00:06:46,581
you've got to go get it.
179
00:06:47,509 --> 00:06:48,984
You know, I wasn't sure
about going to a concert
180
00:06:48,986 --> 00:06:52,187
with someone I didn't know,
but... this has been great.
181
00:06:52,189 --> 00:06:54,089
Well, I'm just glad I could...
182
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,927
(LAUGHS): Whoa. Uh...
183
00:06:58,929 --> 00:07:00,629
I did not see that coming.
184
00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:02,964
Well, you said if I
really want something,
185
00:07:02,966 --> 00:07:04,666
I should go get it.
186
00:07:04,668 --> 00:07:06,601
I did, but I didn't mean...
187
00:07:06,603 --> 00:07:08,136
I...
188
00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:09,938
We can't do this.
189
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:13,441
- Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed.
- No, no, no, don't be.
190
00:07:13,443 --> 00:07:16,044
- No, I completely misread that vibe.
- No, you didn't, you didn't.
191
00:07:16,046 --> 00:07:18,847
It's just... you're Nick's sister.
192
00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:21,449
And if I wasn't?
193
00:07:21,451 --> 00:07:23,485
Well... then yeah.
194
00:07:23,487 --> 00:07:25,153
Of course.
195
00:07:25,155 --> 00:07:27,122
So you're seeing
something you really want?
196
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,375
Yeah.
197
00:07:29,525 --> 00:07:31,459
Then go get it.
198
00:07:33,221 --> 00:07:36,031
You know what? It's not just
that you want to be cremated.
199
00:07:36,236 --> 00:07:38,134
Oh, cool. We're still on this.
200
00:07:38,136 --> 00:07:40,971
It is that we are supposed to be a team.
201
00:07:40,973 --> 00:07:42,572
We are a team.
202
00:07:42,574 --> 00:07:45,108
We're married. We have a child together.
203
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:47,978
We split a tuna melt
like it's nobody's business.
204
00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:50,213
It isn't anybody's business...
I do not want it to get out
205
00:07:50,215 --> 00:07:51,748
that I can't finish my own tuna melt.
206
00:07:52,704 --> 00:07:55,185
The cremation thing bothers me,
because it's an example
207
00:07:55,187 --> 00:07:58,822
of how you can be...
a bit of a lone wolf.
208
00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:02,525
I prefer to think of myself
as "delightfully independent."
209
00:08:02,527 --> 00:08:04,594
It's one of the things
you fell in love with.
210
00:08:04,596 --> 00:08:06,596
You were a refreshing change of pace
211
00:08:06,598 --> 00:08:07,998
from my previous girlfriends.
212
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,101
- God, those girls made me miserable.
- (LAUGHS)
213
00:08:11,103 --> 00:08:13,770
And I make you happy.
214
00:08:13,772 --> 00:08:15,939
So come on, can we just...
215
00:08:15,941 --> 00:08:17,941
cuddle on the couch and watch TV
216
00:08:17,943 --> 00:08:19,876
and forget all this death talk?
217
00:08:19,878 --> 00:08:22,879
- Yes. Yes, we can.
- Okay.
218
00:08:22,881 --> 00:08:25,081
And don't forget... we
have the season finale
219
00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:27,550
of Handmaid's Tale to watch.
220
00:08:29,407 --> 00:08:30,954
Why does it say...
221
00:08:30,956 --> 00:08:32,923
"resume watching"?
222
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,159
You were working late last night,
and there was nothing else on.
223
00:08:36,161 --> 00:08:39,362
There was nothing else
on 7,000 channels?
224
00:08:39,364 --> 00:08:41,498
Relax, it's just a TV show.
225
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:44,200
This, this is a perfect example
226
00:08:44,202 --> 00:08:46,903
of how you do things
without considering me.
227
00:08:46,905 --> 00:08:48,805
Oh, come on... Name one other time
228
00:08:48,807 --> 00:08:50,473
I didn't consider you.
229
00:08:50,475 --> 00:08:53,209
Uh, how about the time we
went scuba diving in Aruba
230
00:08:53,211 --> 00:08:56,746
and you drove the boat back
to shore before I'd come up?
231
00:08:56,748 --> 00:08:59,582
Well, that was before we
were married and had a child.
232
00:08:59,584 --> 00:09:01,518
I am a different person now.
233
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,019
All right. Fine.
234
00:09:03,021 --> 00:09:04,955
Let's just eat dinner.
235
00:09:05,955 --> 00:09:07,324
I already ate.
236
00:09:08,894 --> 00:09:11,027
?
? (KNOCKING)
237
00:09:11,029 --> 00:09:13,997
Uh, Mom, I'm a little busy right now.
238
00:09:13,999 --> 00:09:15,865
- Hey, there he is!
- (FORCED CHUCKLE)
239
00:09:15,867 --> 00:09:18,601
- I bought you some thank-you muffins.
- For what?
240
00:09:18,603 --> 00:09:20,103
For taking care of my sister last night.
241
00:09:20,105 --> 00:09:22,505
Yeah, you got it. Look,
right now is not a good time.
242
00:09:22,507 --> 00:09:24,240
Oh, no, while I'm here,
let me take a look
243
00:09:24,242 --> 00:09:25,809
at that leaky faucet
in the bathroom, man.
244
00:09:25,811 --> 00:09:27,410
No, bathroom's broken. Toilet's clogged.
245
00:09:27,412 --> 00:09:29,579
- I'm embarrassed.
- Oh, man, I'm not scared.
246
00:09:29,581 --> 00:09:31,514
You seen the type of things
I pulled out of toilets...
247
00:09:31,516 --> 00:09:32,816
Diapers, ferrets...
Ooh, this one time, I had...
248
00:09:32,818 --> 00:09:34,484
- No, and I would take you up...
- TONI: Josh?
249
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,486
The shower's hot and so am I.
250
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,521
Oh, my damn!
251
00:09:39,624 --> 00:09:40,857
No, you...
252
00:09:40,859 --> 00:09:42,125
Oh, my damn!
253
00:09:42,127 --> 00:09:43,994
Wait, what are you doing here, Toni?
254
00:09:43,996 --> 00:09:45,795
- What's she doing here, Josh?!
- Okay, after the show,
255
00:09:45,797 --> 00:09:47,364
we were having pizza and we were talking
256
00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:48,932
about stuff,
and it just kind of happened.
257
00:09:48,934 --> 00:09:50,433
Oh, "just kind of happened,"
just like that.
258
00:09:50,435 --> 00:09:51,668
"It just kind of happened!"
259
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:52,802
- Yes, it just kind of...
- Nick, I'm a grown-up.
260
00:09:52,804 --> 00:09:54,137
I can take care of myself.
261
00:09:54,139 --> 00:09:55,305
I wanted to do this.
262
00:09:55,307 --> 00:09:57,907
(RETCHES)
263
00:09:57,909 --> 00:10:00,010
I'm-a be sick. Hold on.
264
00:10:00,012 --> 00:10:02,579
(RETCHES) I'm gonna throw up,
I'm gonna throw up.
265
00:10:02,581 --> 00:10:03,980
What's all this commotion?
266
00:10:03,982 --> 00:10:05,648
Josh slept with my sister!
267
00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:07,450
- (GASPS)
- Man, I can't believe you would have
268
00:10:07,452 --> 00:10:09,085
a one-night stand with my sister.
269
00:10:09,087 --> 00:10:10,220
Nick, it's wasn't a one-night stand.
270
00:10:10,222 --> 00:10:11,421
We're having dinner tonight.
271
00:10:11,423 --> 00:10:13,156
Oh, yeah, yeah, well,
we gonna see about that.
272
00:10:13,158 --> 00:10:15,425
He did nothing wrong, and neither did I.
273
00:10:15,427 --> 00:10:16,993
You know what? This isn't over.
274
00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:20,163
Not to overstate the obvious,
but I know where you live.
275
00:10:25,261 --> 00:10:28,797
Would we want to be buried
with Dave and Susie Wiseman?
276
00:10:28,799 --> 00:10:30,933
Oh, please. I can barely
get through a meal with them,
277
00:10:30,935 --> 00:10:33,135
let alone the afterlife.
278
00:10:33,137 --> 00:10:35,638
Oh, I know. The Borensteins.
279
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,539
Well, the Borensteins
would be a fine idea
280
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,508
if they weren't both already dead.
281
00:10:39,510 --> 00:10:43,012
I'm notifying my Rolodex.
282
00:10:43,014 --> 00:10:46,048
Oh, this is good. Ira and Enid Reiger.
283
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,950
- I like it!
- Yeah.
284
00:10:47,952 --> 00:10:51,220
Their son's a florist, and we'll
be swimming in fresh flowers.
285
00:10:51,222 --> 00:10:52,688
Plus they give a lot to charity,
286
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:55,691
and we could use a little of that karma.
287
00:10:55,693 --> 00:10:57,626
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
288
00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,299
Nick, look, I'm really sorry
about what happened, but I...
289
00:11:03,301 --> 00:11:04,900
Hey, no apology necessary.
290
00:11:04,902 --> 00:11:06,869
Let's just go back
to our original relationship
291
00:11:06,871 --> 00:11:10,673
as employee and
building resident who sucks.
292
00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:13,208
Fine. Did I get a package today?
293
00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:14,643
You did.
294
00:11:14,645 --> 00:11:18,280
(GLASS CLINKING)
295
00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:22,618
- Okay. Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
296
00:11:26,301 --> 00:11:28,257
- Hey.
- Hey. Where you been?
297
00:11:28,259 --> 00:11:29,992
Oh, just sitting by an ice patch
298
00:11:29,994 --> 00:11:33,195
watching douchey investment
bankers slip and fall.
299
00:11:33,197 --> 00:11:36,965
You did our favorite date
night activity without me?
300
00:11:37,882 --> 00:11:39,992
Should I not have done that?
301
00:11:40,004 --> 00:11:42,271
Because I also went
and picked up a cupcake
302
00:11:42,273 --> 00:11:44,173
from our favorite place on the way home.
303
00:11:44,175 --> 00:11:46,676
Let me guess. You did not get me one.
304
00:11:46,678 --> 00:11:48,511
I did not.
305
00:11:48,513 --> 00:11:50,513
I guess I failed to consider you.
306
00:11:50,515 --> 00:11:52,682
That must feel terrible.
307
00:11:52,684 --> 00:11:55,318
I know what you're doing,
and it's not gonna work.
308
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,852
I'm not mad.
309
00:11:56,854 --> 00:11:59,288
Damn it, Eve, if cupcakes
310
00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:02,158
and people falling doesn't
get a rise out of you,
311
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,327
we might as well just cremate you now
312
00:12:04,329 --> 00:12:05,761
'cause you're already dead.
313
00:12:05,763 --> 00:12:07,196
We have been over this.
314
00:12:07,198 --> 00:12:08,740
I'm just independent.
315
00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:09,985
You're too independent.
316
00:12:09,987 --> 00:12:11,720
You live your life
like you're on your own island.
317
00:12:11,722 --> 00:12:13,221
Married people do things together.
318
00:12:13,223 --> 00:12:14,890
They decide things together.
319
00:12:14,892 --> 00:12:18,393
They eat and watch TV
and are buried together.
320
00:12:18,395 --> 00:12:21,630
It sounds like you want us to
be suffocatingly codependent.
321
00:12:21,632 --> 00:12:24,966
At this point, I would love that!
322
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,103
? ?
323
00:12:28,105 --> 00:12:30,739
(WHOOSH, SOFT THUD)
324
00:12:41,352 --> 00:12:44,019
NICK: Please forgive us
for this temporary delay.
325
00:12:44,021 --> 00:12:46,288
What? What is happening here?
326
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:48,890
We are experiencing
technical difficulties.
327
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,082
(SIGHS) Come on, Nick.
328
00:12:52,094 --> 00:12:54,563
While you wait,
please enjoy this hold music.
329
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,331
? Doo, doo, doo, doo ?
330
00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:57,833
- Nick?
- (NICK CONTINUES VOCALIZING)
331
00:12:57,835 --> 00:12:59,768
- ? Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo ?
- Nick?!
332
00:12:59,770 --> 00:13:02,137
(CONTINUES VOCALIZING)
333
00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:03,772
Nick, what's your plan here?
334
00:13:03,774 --> 00:13:05,974
Y-You gonna keep me trapped
in this elevator forever?
335
00:13:05,976 --> 00:13:07,709
I don't know. I'm a millennial.
336
00:13:07,711 --> 00:13:09,678
I don't plan ahead.
337
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,780
Do you really want your sister
sitting there
338
00:13:11,782 --> 00:13:13,815
in the restaurant alone waiting for me?
339
00:13:13,817 --> 00:13:16,518
She won't be. I already texted
her that you're not coming,
340
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,353
and she was pissed.
341
00:13:20,023 --> 00:13:22,591
Oh, Joshy, Joshy, Josh, Josh.
342
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,026
You know you get no cell service
in the elevator.
343
00:13:25,028 --> 00:13:26,461
It's like a dropped pass.
344
00:13:26,463 --> 00:13:28,930
- No reception. Bye.
- Nick? Nick?
345
00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:31,366
- (STAMMERS): Nick? Nick?
- (PHONE CLICKS)
346
00:13:31,368 --> 00:13:33,335
? ?
347
00:13:33,337 --> 00:13:35,704
Oh, it's so nice to see you.
348
00:13:35,706 --> 00:13:38,175
You both look wonderful.
349
00:13:38,187 --> 00:13:41,576
Enid, you should get
your hips replaced more often.
350
00:13:41,578 --> 00:13:44,546
(CHUCKLES) I've gotten back
into rhythmic gymnastics.
351
00:13:44,548 --> 00:13:46,648
- Oh.
- Which works for me.
352
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,049
(BOTH LAUGH)
353
00:13:49,086 --> 00:13:50,952
Seriously, we're so glad you called.
354
00:13:50,954 --> 00:13:52,654
It's-it's been forever.
355
00:13:52,656 --> 00:13:54,823
Oh, speaking of forever...
356
00:13:54,825 --> 00:13:56,124
Well,
357
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,893
we actually invited you over
358
00:13:57,895 --> 00:14:01,196
to make you a rather delicate proposal.
359
00:14:01,198 --> 00:14:04,032
We're choosing you
out of all the couples we know
360
00:14:04,034 --> 00:14:07,836
because we feel
we have a certain compatibility.
361
00:14:07,838 --> 00:14:09,738
- What we're trying to ask is...
- Yes,
362
00:14:09,740 --> 00:14:12,240
we'll have a foursome with you.
363
00:14:14,044 --> 00:14:16,086
(LAUGHS)
364
00:14:16,227 --> 00:14:17,712
What?
365
00:14:17,714 --> 00:14:19,281
You mean for bridge?
366
00:14:19,283 --> 00:14:22,384
No, Harry, the sex kind.
367
00:14:22,386 --> 00:14:24,419
Oh.
368
00:14:25,389 --> 00:14:26,888
They're perverts.
369
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:33,161
We were going to ask you if you
wanted to buy two burial plots.
370
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:36,898
Oh. Well, we already bought our plots,
371
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:39,701
but thank you.
372
00:14:40,877 --> 00:14:44,840
Well, okay. We'll see you
around the neighborhood.
373
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,375
Uh, good luck with the burial plots.
374
00:14:47,377 --> 00:14:50,879
Oh. Good luck with... your thing.
375
00:14:55,319 --> 00:14:57,185
Oh. Hey, Ernesto.
376
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,753
Se�or.
377
00:14:58,755 --> 00:15:00,388
Ian, where's Nick?
378
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:01,957
I thought he was working tonight.
379
00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:04,559
He was, but he was so upset,
he went home.
380
00:15:04,561 --> 00:15:07,596
Toni called and said she's gonna
move to San Francisco.
381
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,165
- Huh.
- All thanks to you.
382
00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:12,133
Hey, I just gave her a little advice.
383
00:15:12,135 --> 00:15:13,869
That's not how Nick sees it.
384
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,505
As far as he's concerned, you
bought her a first-class ticket
385
00:15:16,507 --> 00:15:18,306
and gave her a ride to the airport.
386
00:15:19,361 --> 00:15:21,099
I got to go talk to him.
387
00:15:24,738 --> 00:15:26,248
Hey.
388
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:31,011
I thought about it, and if
it's that important to you,
389
00:15:31,141 --> 00:15:32,941
we can be buried together.
390
00:15:33,055 --> 00:15:34,356
What made you change your mind?
391
00:15:34,358 --> 00:15:36,591
Well, I felt bad
that I made you feel bad,
392
00:15:36,593 --> 00:15:39,261
so I went to J. Crew
to buy you a present.
393
00:15:39,263 --> 00:15:41,162
What did you get me?
394
00:15:41,164 --> 00:15:42,731
A sweater dress, strappy heels
395
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,534
and a bunch of other stuff
that looks great on me.
396
00:15:47,137 --> 00:15:48,570
Andrew, you're right.
397
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,205
Sometimes I don't consider you.
398
00:15:50,207 --> 00:15:51,773
Uh, yeah.
399
00:15:51,775 --> 00:15:53,441
And I want us to be a team,
400
00:15:53,443 --> 00:15:55,043
so let's be buried together.
401
00:15:55,045 --> 00:15:57,712
And what about the dirt
and the bugs and my mother?
402
00:15:57,714 --> 00:15:59,814
To be honest, only one of those things
403
00:15:59,816 --> 00:16:02,236
really gives me the creeps.
404
00:16:02,248 --> 00:16:06,488
Well, I appreciate the
offer, but let's compromise.
405
00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:08,123
You still get cremated,
406
00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:10,492
but we sprinkle half
of you in the ocean...
407
00:16:10,494 --> 00:16:12,694
And the other half on my grave.
408
00:16:12,696 --> 00:16:15,163
Deal. I love you.
409
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,732
I love you, too.
410
00:16:20,835 --> 00:16:23,085
All right, let's watch the
next episode of Ray Donovan.
411
00:16:23,097 --> 00:16:24,129
Oh.
412
00:16:24,141 --> 00:16:26,341
(CLEARS THROAT)
413
00:16:27,558 --> 00:16:30,979
- You already watched it, didn't you?
- Yup.
414
00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:32,981
? ?
415
00:16:32,983 --> 00:16:34,983
(KNOCKING)
416
00:16:34,985 --> 00:16:37,319
(TRAIN CARS RATTLING IN DISTANCE)
417
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:43,290
What you here for,
to make a move on my pet turtle?
418
00:16:46,496 --> 00:16:48,054
I just wanted to talk.
419
00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:50,231
Mm. Talking is how it started with Toni.
420
00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:52,000
Should I be worried?
421
00:16:53,028 --> 00:16:55,178
Nick, I don't think this is
really about me and your sister.
422
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:56,219
Yeah, it is.
423
00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:58,139
What I mean is, I think
there's a bigger issue here.
424
00:16:58,141 --> 00:17:00,442
She decided to move, Josh,
thanks to you.
425
00:17:00,444 --> 00:17:02,777
She's an adult who
made her own decision.
426
00:17:02,779 --> 00:17:04,713
(SNIFFLES)
427
00:17:04,715 --> 00:17:06,514
And, look, she'll be fine.
428
00:17:06,516 --> 00:17:09,250
She's smart and strong
and totally capable.
429
00:17:09,252 --> 00:17:11,664
Yeah, and I worked hard
to make sure of that.
430
00:17:11,676 --> 00:17:13,755
What do you mean?
431
00:17:13,757 --> 00:17:17,258
After we lost my dad,
my mom had to work two,
432
00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:19,227
sometimes three jobs to support us.
433
00:17:19,229 --> 00:17:21,463
And I had to step up
and look out for Toni.
434
00:17:21,465 --> 00:17:23,431
(SCOFFS)
435
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:27,369
Man, the proudest day of my life
was her college graduation.
436
00:17:27,371 --> 00:17:29,537
And that's why you shouldn't
be upset she's moving.
437
00:17:29,539 --> 00:17:31,239
You should still be proud
438
00:17:31,241 --> 00:17:33,308
that she's brave enough to
do this, and-and psyched
439
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:36,510
that you get to watch all
the great things she'll do.
440
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:39,047
Yeah, maybe.
441
00:17:39,049 --> 00:17:41,116
You, like, won, dude.
442
00:17:41,118 --> 00:17:44,918
You don't want her to resent you
for standing in her way, do you?
443
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,555
Nah, maybe I should, uh...
444
00:17:47,557 --> 00:17:49,457
Maybe I should stop being so protective.
445
00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:52,727
And like a parent, you have to let go.
446
00:17:52,729 --> 00:17:55,430
Like your parents?
447
00:17:56,878 --> 00:17:59,622
No, like normal parents.
448
00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:02,804
You know, maybe a...
449
00:18:02,806 --> 00:18:05,073
maybe a change of scenery, you know,
450
00:18:05,075 --> 00:18:07,483
wouldn't be the worst thing for Toni.
451
00:18:07,792 --> 00:18:12,283
And then, uh, I'd have a reason
to go visit her in Cali,
452
00:18:12,415 --> 00:18:16,515
and I, for one, think I would do very
nicely with the California girls.
453
00:18:16,593 --> 00:18:18,286
No doubt. No doubt.
454
00:18:18,288 --> 00:18:20,155
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
455
00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:22,357
So we good?
456
00:18:23,481 --> 00:18:25,727
Yeah, we're good, man.
457
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:27,696
Cool.
458
00:18:28,428 --> 00:18:29,864
- Hey, is this your mom?
- Wow.
459
00:18:29,866 --> 00:18:32,367
- Where does it stop for you?
- No, no, no. I was...
460
00:18:32,369 --> 00:18:35,616
- I want this picture down. Put it down.
- Okay. Okay.
461
00:18:38,069 --> 00:18:39,916
Oh, that's wonderful, Elaine.
462
00:18:39,928 --> 00:18:41,816
See you soon. Bye.
463
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,450
Elaine Karchmer is in for one plot.
464
00:18:44,462 --> 00:18:45,995
She never married.
465
00:18:45,997 --> 00:18:49,031
- That's right. No man could stand her.
- Ah.
466
00:18:49,033 --> 00:18:51,834
Looks like Andrew's back in.
467
00:18:53,292 --> 00:18:54,537
Just e-mailed him.
468
00:18:54,539 --> 00:18:57,640
That's good. A boy should
stay close to his mother.
469
00:18:57,642 --> 00:19:01,144
So, I watched some videos of foursomes,
470
00:19:01,146 --> 00:19:04,280
and I don't think we're flexible enough.
471
00:19:04,282 --> 00:19:07,083
A threesome I understand, but four?
472
00:19:07,085 --> 00:19:10,386
I wouldn't even know
who would put what where.
473
00:19:10,388 --> 00:19:14,690
There are just some things we
will never do in this lifetime.
474
00:19:14,692 --> 00:19:16,826
But we've done a lot, haven't we, Harry?
475
00:19:16,828 --> 00:19:18,361
We sure have.
476
00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:20,496
You have any regrets?
477
00:19:20,498 --> 00:19:21,838
(SIGHS)
478
00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:26,235
Only that I can't go back and
do it all over again with you.
479
00:19:28,287 --> 00:19:30,439
Me, too.
480
00:19:31,509 --> 00:19:33,587
Hi, guys. So,
481
00:19:33,599 --> 00:19:35,134
I've been thinking a lot about family,
482
00:19:35,146 --> 00:19:37,203
and if the plot's still available...
483
00:19:37,215 --> 00:19:38,802
- (GASPS)
- I'll take it.
484
00:19:38,814 --> 00:19:42,111
Oh, Joshy, that's wonderful.
485
00:19:42,596 --> 00:19:45,106
Hey, I just got the e-mail. I'm back in?
486
00:19:47,385 --> 00:19:50,026
You have got to be kidding me!
487
00:19:50,205 --> 00:19:54,079
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