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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 2 00:00:01,922 --> 00:00:07,922 30 Rock 4x14 Future Husband Original Air Date on March 11, 2010 3 00:00:07,923 --> 00:00:08,923 -Sync by elderman -- -for www.addic7ed.com -- 4 00:00:18,923 --> 00:00:21,772 [cell phone buzzes] 5 00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:23,077 Lemon. 6 00:00:23,145 --> 00:00:25,087 When you were watching me after my oral surgery, 7 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,331 Did I put a toaster waffle into my dvd player? 8 00:00:27,398 --> 00:00:29,273 You did. You watched it for about an hour, 9 00:00:29,341 --> 00:00:30,916 Said nicole kidman should get an oscar for it, 10 00:00:30,983 --> 00:00:32,387 Then you turned it off. Yikes. 11 00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:33,663 Thanks for babysitting me. 12 00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:35,504 I did my best, but you were pretty far gone. 13 00:00:35,572 --> 00:00:38,279 You kept trying to order home massages off of craigslist. 14 00:00:38,347 --> 00:00:40,321 [gasps] good thing you were here. 15 00:00:40,389 --> 00:00:41,527 [knock at door] 16 00:00:41,595 --> 00:00:43,468 Hey, somebody order a massage? 17 00:00:43,536 --> 00:00:44,505 Oh, brother. 18 00:00:44,573 --> 00:00:46,009 [masculine voice] you're too late! 19 00:00:46,077 --> 00:00:47,816 I already killed her! 20 00:00:47,884 --> 00:00:49,320 [groans] 21 00:00:49,388 --> 00:00:51,027 Well played, lemon. 22 00:00:52,198 --> 00:00:53,468 [door opens] 23 00:00:53,538 --> 00:00:55,375 You went running? I thought you'd left. 24 00:00:55,443 --> 00:00:57,047 Who else is out there this early? 25 00:00:57,115 --> 00:00:58,653 Almost exclusively women that look like me. 26 00:00:58,721 --> 00:01:01,093 If the pervert community gets wind of morning jogging, 27 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,263 [grunts] god help us. 28 00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:03,499 Have you seen this? 29 00:01:03,569 --> 00:01:07,111 They keep talking about sheinhardt selling nbc 30 00:01:07,179 --> 00:01:09,218 To, uh, kabletown. That's never gonna happen. 31 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:10,958 How could a company from philadelphia 32 00:01:11,026 --> 00:01:13,098 Buy a company from new york? 33 00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:15,071 That would be like vietnam defeating the United States 34 00:01:15,139 --> 00:01:16,308 In a ground war. 35 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,214 I don't know, jack. My sources... 36 00:01:18,282 --> 00:01:19,653 Well, I'm telling you that don geiss and I 37 00:01:19,721 --> 00:01:21,991 Spoke about this, and that sale is dead. 38 00:01:22,058 --> 00:01:23,293 Look, I read his autobiography, 39 00:01:23,361 --> 00:01:24,964 Geiss cubes, whatever that means. 40 00:01:25,031 --> 00:01:28,137 It means the book is filled with cubes of knowledge. 41 00:01:28,205 --> 00:01:29,473 It's a good title. 42 00:01:29,541 --> 00:01:31,476 The principles in this book are timeless. 43 00:01:31,544 --> 00:01:33,479 I could open to any page... 44 00:01:33,547 --> 00:01:35,514 "because a woman's brain has fewer folds--" 45 00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:37,285 Okay, hang on. 46 00:01:37,353 --> 00:01:39,792 "the negroid musculature..." 47 00:01:39,859 --> 00:01:42,665 Nobody's buying anybody. 48 00:01:43,835 --> 00:01:45,437 Hey. Where is frank? 49 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,109 He still hasn't rewritten the olympic sketch 50 00:01:47,177 --> 00:01:50,216 About the lindsey vonn who won the gold medal for skiing. 51 00:01:50,283 --> 00:01:52,788 Oh, mr. Rossitano called to say he overslept, 52 00:01:52,856 --> 00:01:54,659 And I should make up an excuse for him. 53 00:01:54,727 --> 00:01:56,028 So here goes-- 54 00:01:56,096 --> 00:01:58,533 On his way to work, he found some magic beans, 55 00:01:58,601 --> 00:02:00,203 And because he believed in them-- 56 00:02:00,271 --> 00:02:01,206 Ship up. 57 00:02:01,273 --> 00:02:04,446 Frank, frank, frank. 58 00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:05,548 What is this? 59 00:02:05,617 --> 00:02:06,918 "future husband"? 60 00:02:06,986 --> 00:02:08,655 Who did you put in your address book 61 00:02:08,723 --> 00:02:09,757 As "future husband"? 62 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:12,026 I have absolutely no idea. 63 00:02:12,094 --> 00:02:13,861 Well, whenever I find something weird 64 00:02:13,929 --> 00:02:15,564 In my cell phone, I can usually trace it back 65 00:02:15,632 --> 00:02:16,933 To the last time I was drunk. 66 00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:20,073 Oh, my god, the dentist's office. 67 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,408 Oh, your dentist gets drunk with you too? 68 00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:23,245 No! When I was under the anesthesia, 69 00:02:23,313 --> 00:02:25,382 I did a bunch of stuff I don't remember. 70 00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:28,756 [gasps] including meeting the man of your dreams? 71 00:02:28,824 --> 00:02:31,961 Oh, miss lemon, it's so romantic, 72 00:02:32,029 --> 00:02:34,432 Just like that movie I only saw the first ten minutes of, 73 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:35,701 Fatal attraction. 74 00:02:35,769 --> 00:02:37,805 Liz, you have to call him. 75 00:02:37,873 --> 00:02:40,476 What? No. I was out of my mind on painkillers. 76 00:02:40,543 --> 00:02:42,379 I have zero memory of this guy. 77 00:02:42,447 --> 00:02:44,382 I don't know what he looks like. He could be a serial killer. 78 00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:46,921 [gasps] he could wear a thumb ring. 79 00:02:46,988 --> 00:02:49,558 Miss lemon, you're such a pessimist. 80 00:02:49,626 --> 00:02:51,395 You know what my motto is? 81 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:53,666 Everything always works out for the best. 82 00:02:55,369 --> 00:02:57,906 Watch this. 83 00:02:57,974 --> 00:02:59,108 [tires screech, crash] 84 00:02:59,175 --> 00:03:01,311 I just threw my wallet out the window, 85 00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:03,115 But I'm not worried. 86 00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:06,755 Why? Because everything always works out for the best. 87 00:03:06,822 --> 00:03:07,990 I'm sorry. 88 00:03:08,058 --> 00:03:09,993 How is that supposed to make me call this guy? 89 00:03:10,061 --> 00:03:11,763 Be an optimist, miss lemon. 90 00:03:11,831 --> 00:03:13,299 [tires screech, crash] 91 00:03:13,366 --> 00:03:16,270 [exciting jazz music] 92 00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:20,385 ♪ 30 Rock 4x14 ♪ Future Husband Original Air Date on March 11, 2010 93 00:03:20,386 --> 00:03:21,386 -Sync by elderman -- -for www.addic7ed.com -- 94 00:03:32,701 --> 00:03:33,969 Watch tgs this Friday... 95 00:03:34,036 --> 00:03:36,139 [coughs violently] on... 96 00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:38,742 On... 97 00:03:40,312 --> 00:03:41,914 I think we got it. 98 00:03:41,982 --> 00:03:43,416 Okay. Good first take. 99 00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,752 Maybe we go one more time. 100 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:45,887 Excuse me? 101 00:03:45,954 --> 00:03:47,321 Do you know who you're talking to? 102 00:03:47,389 --> 00:03:50,156 A future tony-nominated actor. 103 00:03:50,223 --> 00:03:51,356 That's right. 104 00:03:51,424 --> 00:03:53,591 It is tony-eligibility season. 105 00:03:53,658 --> 00:03:56,225 And I'm going for the "t" in my egot. 106 00:03:56,293 --> 00:03:58,893 Really? You've been cast on broadway? 107 00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:00,694 I'm doing a one-man show. 108 00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:02,262 You are? When? Tonight. 109 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,663 Have you prepared anything? 110 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:05,364 What am I, a nerd? 111 00:04:05,432 --> 00:04:08,734 I'm gonna keep it loose, liz lemon. 112 00:04:10,937 --> 00:04:12,904 Jonathan! 113 00:04:12,972 --> 00:04:15,073 Jonathan, why is it so quiet in here? 114 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,941 Why aren't the phones ringing? 115 00:04:17,008 --> 00:04:18,609 Is it senior executive skip day? 116 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:19,775 That's usually in the spring, 117 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,943 So we can go to an amusement park. 118 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,012 No, sir, I don't understand. 119 00:04:24,079 --> 00:04:25,780 Maybe we're the last people on earth. 120 00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,381 Maybe we are legend. 121 00:04:27,449 --> 00:04:29,716 You're will smith, and I'm the dog. 122 00:04:29,784 --> 00:04:31,751 [phone rings] hello? 123 00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:33,686 Answering your own phone on the first ring? 124 00:04:33,754 --> 00:04:35,354 It's all hands on deck over there, huh? 125 00:04:35,422 --> 00:04:36,422 What do you mean? Come on. 126 00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:38,390 The nbc buyout. What's happening today? 127 00:04:38,458 --> 00:04:40,592 I'm sorry. You're calling me as a source? 128 00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:41,726 How are you going to explain 129 00:04:41,794 --> 00:04:43,428 Your unnamed executive to your producer? 130 00:04:43,496 --> 00:04:45,062 I'll tell him it's a guy I'm having sex with. 131 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,530 It's a 24-hour news cycle here, jack. 132 00:04:46,598 --> 00:04:48,465 We really don't have time to do it right anymore. 133 00:04:48,533 --> 00:04:49,666 So what do you want to know? 134 00:04:49,734 --> 00:04:51,235 Okay, I know the deal is happening today. 135 00:04:51,302 --> 00:04:52,769 The board's having a secret meeting. 136 00:04:52,837 --> 00:04:53,770 I just need a confirmation. 137 00:04:53,838 --> 00:04:55,071 Wait, what? No. 138 00:04:55,139 --> 00:04:56,639 I already told you this morning. 139 00:04:56,707 --> 00:04:58,741 There's no deal. Oh, my god. 140 00:04:58,809 --> 00:05:00,142 You really don't know what's going on. 141 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:01,610 They cut you out of the loop, jack, 142 00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:02,711 Because you're against it. 143 00:05:02,779 --> 00:05:04,012 No, no, no, I'm not out of the loop. 144 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,313 I just can't talk about it. 145 00:05:05,381 --> 00:05:07,281 I'm actually finishing up a meeting right now. 146 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,149 Rhubarb, rhubarb, golf, prostate. 147 00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:10,617 I'm gonna have to call you back. 148 00:05:10,684 --> 00:05:12,418 [phone clicks] 149 00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,887 Jonathan, I want you to go down 150 00:05:15,954 --> 00:05:17,754 Into your little assistant underworld 151 00:05:17,822 --> 00:05:19,322 And find out where everybody is. 152 00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:20,390 I don't care what it takes. 153 00:05:20,457 --> 00:05:22,859 This is a matter of life... 154 00:05:22,927 --> 00:05:24,260 Or death. 155 00:05:24,328 --> 00:05:27,029 Yes, sir. But if anything should happen to me, 156 00:05:27,097 --> 00:05:29,031 I want you to read oh, the places you'll go! 157 00:05:29,099 --> 00:05:30,400 At my funeral. 158 00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:33,470 I'm not doing that. 159 00:05:33,538 --> 00:05:34,605 Rinse, please. 160 00:05:34,673 --> 00:05:37,241 Well, you're healing very nicely. 161 00:05:37,308 --> 00:05:40,143 You may continue to experience sensitivity for a few more days. 162 00:05:40,211 --> 00:05:43,079 When can I start eating hard cheeses again, doctor? 163 00:05:43,147 --> 00:05:46,581 I've had this pamphlet printed up. 164 00:05:46,649 --> 00:05:48,816 It was expensive, but I'm really tired 165 00:05:48,884 --> 00:05:51,152 Of discussing this with you. 166 00:05:51,219 --> 00:05:52,252 Huh. 167 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,821 Dr. Kaplan, the last time I was here, 168 00:05:54,889 --> 00:05:58,157 I think I made a gentleman friend. 169 00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,126 But because of the anesthesia, I can't remember 170 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,226 Where or how. 171 00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,527 Well, there was another patient 172 00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,629 In the recovery room with you. 173 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:08,466 And I remember you were both laughing quite a bit. 174 00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,033 Okay. So, uh, who is he? 175 00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:11,435 What does he look like? 176 00:06:11,503 --> 00:06:14,206 He has some gum recession-- four pockets on 14 and 15, 177 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,509 But, overall, very good teeth, especially for an englishman. 178 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,644 Ooh, he's english? I've said too much. 179 00:06:19,711 --> 00:06:21,712 I really can't tell you anything about him-- 180 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:24,214 You know, doctor-patient confidentiality. 181 00:06:24,282 --> 00:06:27,817 Ah, come on. I mean, you're not really a doctor. 182 00:06:27,885 --> 00:06:29,185 Well, if that's how you feel, 183 00:06:29,253 --> 00:06:30,587 Then you're not really a patient. 184 00:06:30,654 --> 00:06:31,821 And people who aren't patients 185 00:06:31,889 --> 00:06:34,457 Don't get toys from the treat bucket. 186 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,558 But there's a batman in there! Yeah. 187 00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:39,294 And if you wind him up, he swims in the bath. 188 00:06:39,362 --> 00:06:40,762 Damn you, kaplan! 189 00:06:42,163 --> 00:06:43,063 Who's here? 190 00:06:43,264 --> 00:06:45,464 I need someone to be outraged too. 191 00:06:46,965 --> 00:06:48,765 uh... I'm here, miss Maroney. 192 00:06:48,766 --> 00:06:52,266 I actually slept here because my house keys are in my wallet. 193 00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:53,567 It wasn't to bad. 194 00:06:53,568 --> 00:06:55,268 Late at night these two little twin girls 195 00:06:55,269 --> 00:06:56,269 told me they wanted to play with me forever. 196 00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,050 Have you seen this? 197 00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:01,552 Is that a macy's thanksgiving day parade pun? 198 00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:02,820 In March? 199 00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:04,555 It's a rave review... 200 00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:05,889 For tracy. 201 00:07:05,957 --> 00:07:07,891 It's as if claps-giving yay ha-rade 202 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,893 Has lost all meaning. 203 00:07:09,961 --> 00:07:12,262 I did it. I'm a broadway star. 204 00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:14,764 Jenna, could you accept my tony on my behalf? 205 00:07:14,832 --> 00:07:16,332 June is a tough month for me 206 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,400 Because I begin lifeguarding again. 207 00:07:18,468 --> 00:07:19,901 You know, renting a theater for one night 208 00:07:19,969 --> 00:07:21,269 And babbling on stage for an hour-- 209 00:07:21,337 --> 00:07:22,303 Five hours. 210 00:07:22,371 --> 00:07:23,805 Doesn't make you an actor. 211 00:07:23,872 --> 00:07:25,573 I don't know. People seem to like it. 212 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,741 Well, it certainly doesn't get you a tony award. 213 00:07:27,809 --> 00:07:29,209 I know the tony rules, 214 00:07:29,277 --> 00:07:30,844 Because I've been petitioning for them to add a category 215 00:07:30,911 --> 00:07:33,412 For living theatrically in normal life. 216 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,080 And I know for a fact you have to do your show 217 00:07:35,148 --> 00:07:37,816 A minimum of eight times to be eligible. 218 00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:38,950 Wait. The same show? 219 00:07:39,018 --> 00:07:41,652 [laughing] of course the same show. 220 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,188 But I can't do that. I'm a spontaneous actor. 221 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,423 I never do the same thing twice. 222 00:07:46,491 --> 00:07:48,291 Action. 223 00:07:48,359 --> 00:07:50,193 Honey, I'm home. 224 00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,661 Pac-man, I'm jewish. 225 00:07:52,729 --> 00:07:55,630 Jeffrey, we lost the tournament. 226 00:07:55,698 --> 00:07:58,799 I can't do seven more performances. 227 00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:00,367 Well, then you better think of something else 228 00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:02,269 That starts with "t" for your little necklace. 229 00:08:02,337 --> 00:08:04,838 Do they give an award for tarantula misplacement? 230 00:08:09,209 --> 00:08:13,345 ♪ jonathan downloads geiss' schedule ♪ 231 00:08:13,413 --> 00:08:15,447 ♪ mr. Donaghy will be grateful ♪ 232 00:08:15,514 --> 00:08:17,215 ♪ da-na-na ♪ 233 00:08:17,282 --> 00:08:18,516 ♪ da-na-na ♪ 234 00:08:18,584 --> 00:08:19,917 ♪ da-na-na ♪ 235 00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:24,387 Oh, good morning, miss lemon. 236 00:08:24,455 --> 00:08:26,389 Still haven't found your wallet, huh? 237 00:08:26,457 --> 00:08:29,624 No. And I realized there was a prescription in there 238 00:08:29,692 --> 00:08:31,126 I should have filled yesterday. 239 00:08:31,193 --> 00:08:32,560 It keeps me from... 240 00:08:32,627 --> 00:08:34,628 [grunts, brays like a donkey] 241 00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:37,097 Don't worry. It's just a donkey spell. 242 00:08:41,502 --> 00:08:44,237 Well, I went to the dentist yesterday, 243 00:08:44,305 --> 00:08:46,172 And I actually found out a little bit 244 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,074 About my mystery guy. 245 00:08:48,142 --> 00:08:49,409 And? 246 00:08:49,476 --> 00:08:52,344 And I now know that he is english, 247 00:08:52,412 --> 00:08:53,879 And he made me laugh. 248 00:08:53,946 --> 00:08:55,680 That's wonderful, 249 00:08:55,748 --> 00:08:57,315 Even if he does come from a country 250 00:08:57,382 --> 00:08:59,682 That's nothing more than the dried husk america came out of. 251 00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,150 So are you gonna call him? 252 00:09:01,218 --> 00:09:05,021 And say what, that you're my future husband? 253 00:09:05,089 --> 00:09:07,124 I'd like to at least know what this guy looks like 254 00:09:07,192 --> 00:09:08,859 Before I put myself out there. 255 00:09:08,927 --> 00:09:10,894 Then we need to find a way for you to see him 256 00:09:10,962 --> 00:09:12,395 Through trickery. Kenneth. 257 00:09:12,463 --> 00:09:14,563 We all know deceit is okay if it's done for love, 258 00:09:14,631 --> 00:09:16,865 Like when lot's daughters got him drunk 259 00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:18,700 To repopulate the world through incest 260 00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:21,702 Or when screech went to the masquerade ball in disguise 261 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,271 So lisa would kiss him. 262 00:09:25,639 --> 00:09:27,206 [line trilling] 263 00:09:27,274 --> 00:09:28,874 This is wesley. 264 00:09:28,942 --> 00:09:31,310 [jamaican accent] this is nurse jamakiah 265 00:09:31,378 --> 00:09:33,211 From dr. Kaplan's office. 266 00:09:33,279 --> 00:09:34,412 So here's the ting. 267 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,847 You need to come in today 268 00:09:35,914 --> 00:09:37,915 So the doctor can check dem teeth, mon. 269 00:09:37,983 --> 00:09:39,416 Oh. Is there something wrong? 270 00:09:39,484 --> 00:09:41,018 My checkup isn't for another week. 271 00:09:41,085 --> 00:09:44,721 He tinks dat tooth might have some bad mojo in it, ya see. 272 00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:46,589 [irish accent] might you be available to come in 273 00:09:46,657 --> 00:09:48,291 Around 1:30, me lad? 274 00:09:48,359 --> 00:09:49,625 [whispering] you're going irish. 275 00:09:49,693 --> 00:09:51,360 Okay. 1:30 is fine. 276 00:09:51,427 --> 00:09:54,562 Cool runnings, mon. Bobsled. 277 00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:56,764 [normal voice] see? Miss lemon, I told you. 278 00:09:56,832 --> 00:09:59,966 Everything... [grunts, brays like a donkey] 279 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,467 Stay away! I will bite you! 280 00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,469 [continues braying] 281 00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:06,071 Jack, what brings you down to news? 282 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:09,107 Hey, cnbc, nightly news rules. 283 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,442 Go break a story, williams! 284 00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:11,710 Nightly rules. 285 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,412 Avery, I have some information for you, 286 00:10:14,479 --> 00:10:16,646 But in exchange, I need you to do something for me. 287 00:10:16,714 --> 00:10:18,248 Okay. I told you last night, no. 288 00:10:18,315 --> 00:10:20,283 Why would you even want to braid my hair? 289 00:10:20,351 --> 00:10:21,918 Because it's romantic, and I'm really good at it. 290 00:10:21,985 --> 00:10:24,286 But this is strictly professional. 291 00:10:24,354 --> 00:10:27,922 I saw don geiss' schedule, and you're right. 292 00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:30,591 There is something going on... 293 00:10:30,658 --> 00:10:32,125 And I know where. 294 00:10:33,494 --> 00:10:36,262 This is jack welch's address in connecticut. 295 00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:37,997 But don geiss was seen last night 296 00:10:38,064 --> 00:10:39,431 At the ritz-carlton in philadelphia. 297 00:10:39,499 --> 00:10:41,266 Decoys. 298 00:10:41,334 --> 00:10:43,434 Or he could have driven back by now. 299 00:10:43,502 --> 00:10:45,369 Oh, thanks for the tip. 300 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,404 In return, here's how you're gonna report it. 301 00:10:47,471 --> 00:10:50,139 Geiss fights off buyout, keeps company intact, 302 00:10:50,207 --> 00:10:52,441 Makes this gesture. 303 00:10:52,508 --> 00:10:54,043 Jack, I can't do that, 304 00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,714 Because this deal is happening, 305 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,282 And if don geiss is fighting it, 306 00:10:57,349 --> 00:10:59,550 You should start distancing yourself from him. 307 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:00,718 Distancing myself? 308 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,386 That man is my mentor. 309 00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,721 He taught me how to command a room with my voice! 310 00:11:06,757 --> 00:11:08,091 Back to work. 311 00:11:08,158 --> 00:11:10,592 All I'm saying is, the writing's on the wall. 312 00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,661 Do you think it was easy for me to cut ties 313 00:11:12,728 --> 00:11:15,229 From my old mentor, pat o'brien, after he shaved his mustache? 314 00:11:15,297 --> 00:11:16,731 So this is what you do to people-- 315 00:11:16,798 --> 00:11:18,499 You use them, and then you throw them aside? 316 00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:20,667 That is not fair. This is not about us. 317 00:11:20,735 --> 00:11:21,735 This is about us. 318 00:11:21,803 --> 00:11:23,470 I came here asking you to help me. 319 00:11:23,537 --> 00:11:24,904 And I'm trying to help you. 320 00:11:24,972 --> 00:11:27,773 Being don geiss' guy just became a liability. 321 00:11:27,841 --> 00:11:29,975 I spent the last 30 years trying to be that guy. 322 00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:32,144 Well, you're never gonna be, 'cause no one is! 323 00:11:32,211 --> 00:11:33,611 That world doesn't exist anymore! 324 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,279 [gasps] you're making me sound just like my mother! 325 00:11:35,347 --> 00:11:36,647 Someone like you couldn't possibly understand. 326 00:11:36,715 --> 00:11:38,482 Jack. I'm going to connecticut. 327 00:11:38,550 --> 00:11:40,617 I'm gonna stand by my man, 328 00:11:40,685 --> 00:11:45,354 Which is the song that I sang to don at his promotion dinner. 329 00:11:47,024 --> 00:11:48,925 Excuse me, miss maroney. 330 00:11:48,993 --> 00:11:51,461 Would you be interested in going to mr. Jordan's show tonight? 331 00:11:51,528 --> 00:11:52,995 I know he could use your support. 332 00:11:53,063 --> 00:11:54,430 I don't think so. 333 00:11:54,497 --> 00:11:56,698 If I wanted to see a black guy make a fool of himself, 334 00:11:56,766 --> 00:11:58,834 I'd have sex with k-fed again. 335 00:11:58,901 --> 00:12:01,636 I'm just worried mr. Jordan may not egot. 336 00:12:01,704 --> 00:12:04,038 He has no idea what he did in his show last night. 337 00:12:04,106 --> 00:12:07,441 And without my wallet, I don't even have my lucky rabbit spine. 338 00:12:07,508 --> 00:12:09,108 I don't know what's gonna happen. 339 00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,242 I'll tell you what's gonna happen. 340 00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,377 It's gonna be a disaster. 341 00:12:11,445 --> 00:12:13,146 The man is not an actor 342 00:12:13,213 --> 00:12:14,847 And has no business being on the stage. 343 00:12:14,915 --> 00:12:16,548 Why, with a curtain five hours from now, 344 00:12:16,616 --> 00:12:17,883 It would take the greatest acting coach 345 00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,751 The world has ever seen to make his show a success. 346 00:12:19,818 --> 00:12:21,219 Fine, I'll do it! 347 00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,456 Sign in. We're running behind today. 348 00:12:27,524 --> 00:12:29,591 We'll be with you as soon as we can. Bobsled. 349 00:12:48,542 --> 00:12:51,810 [cell phone rings] 350 00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:00,184 This is wesley. 351 00:13:00,252 --> 00:13:02,286 Hello? 352 00:13:04,822 --> 00:13:07,724 [dance-music ringtone plays] 353 00:13:07,791 --> 00:13:11,560 ♪ ♪ 354 00:13:11,627 --> 00:13:13,027 [ringtone stops] 355 00:13:13,095 --> 00:13:17,364 Can you tell me why you come up on my phone as future wife? 356 00:13:17,432 --> 00:13:21,602 Would you like to get coffee? 357 00:13:21,669 --> 00:13:23,869 Mine was actually an infection in the right rear molar 358 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,537 Caused by some loose bristles from an off-brand toothbrush 359 00:13:26,604 --> 00:13:28,005 That I had to buy over christmas, 360 00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:30,374 'cause my mom threw away my old snoopy one. 361 00:13:30,441 --> 00:13:33,543 Wow, this is not interesting. 362 00:13:33,611 --> 00:13:34,778 [chuckles nervously] 363 00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:38,515 [chuckles] 364 00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:42,719 I don't know what caused my root-canal situation. 365 00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:44,755 [laughs] 366 00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:48,058 Well, british people have notoriously bad teeth, 367 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:49,692 So... 368 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,094 I've never heard that. 369 00:13:52,162 --> 00:13:53,662 Really? 370 00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:56,298 You've never heard people make jokes about british teeth? 371 00:13:56,366 --> 00:13:58,834 None of the brits I know have a situation with their teeth. 372 00:13:58,902 --> 00:14:00,803 Well, it's just a thing people say. 373 00:14:00,870 --> 00:14:02,738 Like when they say older women have bread back. 374 00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:04,105 What's bread back? 375 00:14:04,173 --> 00:14:05,740 A loaf of back fat between a woman's bra 376 00:14:05,808 --> 00:14:07,175 And her giant underwear. 377 00:14:07,243 --> 00:14:09,511 No, that's not a thing. People don't say that. 378 00:14:09,578 --> 00:14:10,945 Not to you, no. 379 00:14:11,013 --> 00:14:13,983 I think we're getting off on the wrong foot here. 380 00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:16,185 It's turned into a bit of a situation. 381 00:14:16,253 --> 00:14:20,656 You use that word too much. 382 00:14:22,759 --> 00:14:25,661 Both: So any siblings? 383 00:14:25,729 --> 00:14:26,996 Wow. 384 00:14:27,063 --> 00:14:28,831 God. 385 00:14:28,899 --> 00:14:32,468 Mr. Welch, it's good to see you again. 386 00:14:32,536 --> 00:14:34,436 Please, john, call me jack. 387 00:14:34,502 --> 00:14:35,967 I actually go by jack as well. 388 00:14:36,035 --> 00:14:38,133 I don't think so. 389 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,533 Well, I'd like to talk to don. 390 00:14:40,601 --> 00:14:41,966 I know he's here. 391 00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:44,665 He is here. But he's dead. 392 00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:46,866 [gasps] what? 393 00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:48,365 He died three weeks ago. 394 00:14:48,432 --> 00:14:50,466 The company wanted to keep it quiet 395 00:14:50,534 --> 00:14:52,767 Until the deal went through, so I've been-- 396 00:14:52,835 --> 00:14:54,635 Hiding him in your freezer, 397 00:14:54,703 --> 00:14:56,436 Just like we did with hiram sheinhardt 398 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:57,771 During the rca deal. 399 00:14:57,838 --> 00:15:00,173 Look, I know how much don meant to you, 400 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,007 And if you need to pass some eye water, 401 00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:05,009 I'll be happy to go out and get you some weakness tissues. 402 00:15:05,077 --> 00:15:07,278 No, I'm not crying in front of jack welch-- 403 00:15:07,345 --> 00:15:09,413 Neutron jack, and I'm not giving up. 404 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,748 Don geiss wanted this company kept intact. 405 00:15:11,815 --> 00:15:15,350 And these people are from philadelphia. 406 00:15:15,418 --> 00:15:16,649 Let it go, john! 407 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,518 It's over. 408 00:15:23,132 --> 00:15:26,199 Miss lemon, how did the dentist's office go? 409 00:15:26,261 --> 00:15:28,695 Did you meet wesley? I did meet him. 410 00:15:28,763 --> 00:15:30,297 We even went out for coffee. 411 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,798 And? 412 00:15:31,866 --> 00:15:34,267 And it was a disaster. 413 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,435 We were so awkward that the waitress gave us 414 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,103 Separate checks without asking. 415 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:41,639 And a priest came over and asked us who we'd lost. 416 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,008 But it has to work out. 417 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,909 Does it? Do you have your wallet back? 418 00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:47,511 Did I find my future husband? 419 00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:51,481 Sometimes everything is just the worst, kenneth. 420 00:15:51,548 --> 00:15:52,782 [door opens] 421 00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:55,917 [sighs] 422 00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:58,284 Jack? It's over, lemon. 423 00:15:58,351 --> 00:15:59,418 It's all over. 424 00:15:59,485 --> 00:16:00,786 What? What's wrong? 425 00:16:00,854 --> 00:16:02,521 Don geiss is dead. 426 00:16:02,589 --> 00:16:04,222 Oh, my god. 427 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:07,224 They're selling nbc to a company called kabletown, 428 00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:08,858 With a "k." 429 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,126 Oh, yeah. 430 00:16:10,193 --> 00:16:12,794 My parents have kabletown down in pennsylvania. 431 00:16:12,862 --> 00:16:15,728 It's a fine and generous company. 432 00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:19,229 My dream, the dream I've had since I was a child, is gone. 433 00:16:19,297 --> 00:16:21,864 I'll never be the ceo of the general. 434 00:16:21,932 --> 00:16:24,532 Oh, jack, I'm so sorry. 435 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,335 Will I still be able to turn in old cab receipts, 436 00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:30,236 Or do you think-- I'm sorry. 437 00:16:30,304 --> 00:16:31,904 I don't know what to say. 438 00:16:31,972 --> 00:16:33,706 Maybe you should talk to avery. 439 00:16:33,773 --> 00:16:35,840 I don't know about avery anymore. 440 00:16:35,908 --> 00:16:39,242 She's probably distancing herself from me as we speak. 441 00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:42,110 I'm alone. 442 00:16:42,177 --> 00:16:43,578 I'm the protege of a dead man 443 00:16:43,646 --> 00:16:46,748 At a company that no longer exists. 444 00:16:46,816 --> 00:16:49,084 Wait. Did you hear that? 445 00:16:50,586 --> 00:16:53,454 That's the sound of me being erased from contact lists 446 00:16:53,522 --> 00:16:55,090 All around the world. 447 00:16:55,158 --> 00:16:57,997 Yeah, well, I hear something else. 448 00:16:58,065 --> 00:17:01,469 It's the hug plane coming in for a landing. 449 00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:04,004 You're cleared for approach. 450 00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:11,577 Acting is about consistency and control. 451 00:17:11,645 --> 00:17:13,278 Got it--no farting. 452 00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:14,613 I'm gonna teach you the skills 453 00:17:14,681 --> 00:17:16,514 That will allow you to perform your show every night. 454 00:17:16,582 --> 00:17:19,316 Let us begin with elocution. 455 00:17:19,384 --> 00:17:20,684 Repeat after me. 456 00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:22,252 After me. No, tracy. 457 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,954 No, tracy. No, stop it. 458 00:17:24,022 --> 00:17:25,423 Not this part. No, stop it. 459 00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:28,633 Uh, we got to start over. I farted. 460 00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:31,504 To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock 461 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:34,308 Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock. 462 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:37,045 To sit in darkness in a sharp, sharp shop 463 00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:39,013 In darkness and sitting in the sharp. 464 00:17:39,081 --> 00:17:41,381 This is stupid. This is not stupid. 465 00:17:41,449 --> 00:17:44,785 These are the building blocks of the craft of acting-- 466 00:17:44,853 --> 00:17:47,120 Something I have dedicated my life to 467 00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:50,624 Ever since my very first job as baby stuck in well 468 00:17:50,692 --> 00:17:52,060 In a commercial for well guards. 469 00:17:52,128 --> 00:17:53,462 [clears throat] 470 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,297 Well guards-- 471 00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,633 Guard your well... 472 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,067 Well. 473 00:17:59,135 --> 00:18:01,403 I remember that commercial. 474 00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,706 You were a fat baby. 475 00:18:03,774 --> 00:18:06,242 Well, maybe we're just gonna have to agree 476 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:08,077 To disagree on the acting process. 477 00:18:08,145 --> 00:18:09,845 You have no process. 478 00:18:09,913 --> 00:18:11,914 Acting is the discipline of being someone else 479 00:18:11,982 --> 00:18:13,082 At all times. 480 00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,383 I don't know. 481 00:18:14,451 --> 00:18:16,185 When I'm acting, I just do me, 482 00:18:16,252 --> 00:18:17,753 And people seem to love it. 483 00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:19,188 Well, then I guess you don't need my help. 484 00:18:19,255 --> 00:18:21,489 Go out there and be yourself. 485 00:18:21,557 --> 00:18:25,920 Go onstage and read the damn phone book for all I care. 486 00:18:25,988 --> 00:18:27,887 What are you gonna do, mr. Jordan? 487 00:18:27,954 --> 00:18:30,152 Do you think you can repeat your performance? 488 00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:31,818 Your performance. 489 00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:35,622 Liz... 490 00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,058 Do you work here? Yeah. 491 00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:38,493 Remember, at coffee, 492 00:18:38,561 --> 00:18:40,061 You said you hadn't seen the show, 493 00:18:40,129 --> 00:18:41,229 But you'd heard bad things. 494 00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:43,464 Uh-huh. What are you doing here? 495 00:18:43,532 --> 00:18:45,466 I'm supposed to meet kenneth parcell. 496 00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:46,467 I found his wallet. 497 00:18:46,535 --> 00:18:48,169 What? 498 00:18:48,236 --> 00:18:51,705 You must be my wallet angel. 499 00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:53,439 No. This is not possible. 500 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,641 But it is. 501 00:18:54,708 --> 00:18:56,175 I knew my wallet would turn up. 502 00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:57,677 And it did. 503 00:18:57,744 --> 00:19:01,680 No, kenneth, this is wesley from the dentist's office. 504 00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:02,980 Oh, my goodness. 505 00:19:03,048 --> 00:19:05,948 This is the guy from the dentist's office. 506 00:19:06,016 --> 00:19:08,350 He found my wallet. 507 00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:09,651 [chuckles, grunts] 508 00:19:09,719 --> 00:19:12,354 I'm either very happy right now, 509 00:19:12,422 --> 00:19:14,255 Or I'm having a pretty bad donkey spell. 510 00:19:14,323 --> 00:19:16,557 [brays like a donkey] 511 00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:19,762 I'm okay. It'll pass. 512 00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:22,331 This is crazy. 513 00:19:22,399 --> 00:19:24,434 I guess we have to give it another shot. 514 00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:27,103 I guess we do. 515 00:19:27,171 --> 00:19:29,072 Dinner tonight? Perfect. 516 00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:31,274 Do you like tex-mex? 517 00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:33,610 No, I don't. 518 00:19:33,678 --> 00:19:36,947 See you there. 519 00:19:37,014 --> 00:19:38,582 The fcc will now investigate 520 00:19:38,649 --> 00:19:40,884 This large-scale, multimillion-dollar sale 521 00:19:40,951 --> 00:19:41,918 To kabletown. 522 00:19:41,985 --> 00:19:44,286 And now the $5.6 billion question-- 523 00:19:44,354 --> 00:19:45,454 Who will take the reins 524 00:19:45,522 --> 00:19:47,422 Of the cable giant's new acquisition? 525 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:50,257 According to my sources, the clear frontrunner-- 526 00:19:50,325 --> 00:19:53,060 Current g.E. Executive jack donaghy. 527 00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,863 The people I'm talking to say he's the only guy out there 528 00:19:55,931 --> 00:19:58,934 With the programming experience, business savvy, 529 00:19:59,001 --> 00:20:01,803 And piercing blue eyes of a siberian husky 530 00:20:01,871 --> 00:20:03,472 That the job requires. 531 00:20:03,539 --> 00:20:04,506 [phones buzzing and ringing] 532 00:20:04,574 --> 00:20:05,907 I'm told donaghy was instrumental 533 00:20:05,975 --> 00:20:07,976 In making this deal happen, and I spoke to him earlier. 534 00:20:08,044 --> 00:20:11,613 He refused to speculate but did say, and I'm quoting here, 535 00:20:11,681 --> 00:20:14,816 "I'm going to celebrate by buying my lady friend 536 00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:16,418 "that necklace she pointed out 537 00:20:16,485 --> 00:20:19,387 And then cooking her a western omelet." 538 00:20:19,455 --> 00:20:20,555 End quote. 539 00:20:20,623 --> 00:20:22,758 And then I'm gonna braid your hair. 540 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,228 [phones ringing] jack donaghy's office, 541 00:20:26,295 --> 00:20:27,762 Please hold. 542 00:20:27,830 --> 00:20:28,897 Jack donaghy's office, please hold. 543 00:20:28,965 --> 00:20:30,565 Jack donaghy's office, please hold. 544 00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:32,500 Jack donaghy's office, please hold. 545 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,035 "karsfeld, ruben m. 546 00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:39,065 "klarvat, yuri. 547 00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:40,630 "klausen, igor. 548 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,464 "klesteren, robert. 549 00:20:42,531 --> 00:20:44,364 "kletzko, harold. 550 00:20:44,432 --> 00:20:46,265 Kluber, tatiana." 551 00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:47,729 I'm his acting teacher. 552 00:20:49,298 --> 00:20:50,963 "mordenay, lorenzo. 553 00:20:51,031 --> 00:20:52,730 "jinlo, martin. 554 00:20:52,798 --> 00:20:54,430 "rodman, gill. 555 00:20:55,098 --> 00:20:56,799 "takahamo, jessica. 556 00:20:56,866 --> 00:20:58,470 "thermopolis, dorothy. 557 00:21:02,237 --> 00:21:04,340 Lipowitz, lauren." 558 00:21:04,408 --> 00:21:05,341 [cheers and applause] 559 00:21:05,408 --> 00:21:07,408 Bravo! Triumph! 560 00:21:07,447 --> 00:21:08,946 -Sync by elderman -- -for www.addic7ed.com -- 561 00:21:09,946 --> 00:21:19,946 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 562 00:21:19,996 --> 00:21:24,546 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40885

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