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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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30 Rock 4x14
Future Husband Original Air Date on March 11, 2010
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00:00:07,923 --> 00:00:08,923
-Sync by elderman --
-for www.addic7ed.com --
4
00:00:18,923 --> 00:00:21,772
[cell phone buzzes]
5
00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:23,077
Lemon.
6
00:00:23,145 --> 00:00:25,087
When you were watching me
after my oral surgery,
7
00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,331
Did I put a toaster waffle
into my dvd player?
8
00:00:27,398 --> 00:00:29,273
You did. You watched it
for about an hour,
9
00:00:29,341 --> 00:00:30,916
Said nicole kidman should get
an oscar for it,
10
00:00:30,983 --> 00:00:32,387
Then you turned it off.
Yikes.
11
00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:33,663
Thanks for babysitting me.
12
00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:35,504
I did my best,
but you were pretty far gone.
13
00:00:35,572 --> 00:00:38,279
You kept trying to order
home massages off of craigslist.
14
00:00:38,347 --> 00:00:40,321
[gasps]
good thing you were here.
15
00:00:40,389 --> 00:00:41,527
[knock at door]
16
00:00:41,595 --> 00:00:43,468
Hey, somebody order
a massage?
17
00:00:43,536 --> 00:00:44,505
Oh, brother.
18
00:00:44,573 --> 00:00:46,009
[masculine voice]
you're too late!
19
00:00:46,077 --> 00:00:47,816
I already killed her!
20
00:00:47,884 --> 00:00:49,320
[groans]
21
00:00:49,388 --> 00:00:51,027
Well played, lemon.
22
00:00:52,198 --> 00:00:53,468
[door opens]
23
00:00:53,538 --> 00:00:55,375
You went running?
I thought you'd left.
24
00:00:55,443 --> 00:00:57,047
Who else is out there
this early?
25
00:00:57,115 --> 00:00:58,653
Almost exclusively women
that look like me.
26
00:00:58,721 --> 00:01:01,093
If the pervert community
gets wind of morning jogging,
27
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,263
[grunts]
god help us.
28
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:03,499
Have you seen this?
29
00:01:03,569 --> 00:01:07,111
They keep talking
about sheinhardt selling nbc
30
00:01:07,179 --> 00:01:09,218
To, uh, kabletown.
That's never gonna happen.
31
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:10,958
How could a company
from philadelphia
32
00:01:11,026 --> 00:01:13,098
Buy a company
from new york?
33
00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:15,071
That would be like vietnam
defeating the United States
34
00:01:15,139 --> 00:01:16,308
In a ground war.
35
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,214
I don't know, jack.
My sources...
36
00:01:18,282 --> 00:01:19,653
Well, I'm telling you
that don geiss and I
37
00:01:19,721 --> 00:01:21,991
Spoke about this,
and that sale is dead.
38
00:01:22,058 --> 00:01:23,293
Look, I read
his autobiography,
39
00:01:23,361 --> 00:01:24,964
Geiss cubes,
whatever that means.
40
00:01:25,031 --> 00:01:28,137
It means the book is filled
with cubes of knowledge.
41
00:01:28,205 --> 00:01:29,473
It's a good title.
42
00:01:29,541 --> 00:01:31,476
The principles in this book
are timeless.
43
00:01:31,544 --> 00:01:33,479
I could open to any page...
44
00:01:33,547 --> 00:01:35,514
"because a woman's brain
has fewer folds--"
45
00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:37,285
Okay, hang on.
46
00:01:37,353 --> 00:01:39,792
"the negroid musculature..."
47
00:01:39,859 --> 00:01:42,665
Nobody's buying anybody.
48
00:01:43,835 --> 00:01:45,437
Hey.
Where is frank?
49
00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,109
He still hasn't rewritten
the olympic sketch
50
00:01:47,177 --> 00:01:50,216
About the lindsey vonn who won
the gold medal for skiing.
51
00:01:50,283 --> 00:01:52,788
Oh, mr. Rossitano called
to say he overslept,
52
00:01:52,856 --> 00:01:54,659
And I should make up
an excuse for him.
53
00:01:54,727 --> 00:01:56,028
So here goes--
54
00:01:56,096 --> 00:01:58,533
On his way to work,
he found some magic beans,
55
00:01:58,601 --> 00:02:00,203
And because he believed
in them--
56
00:02:00,271 --> 00:02:01,206
Ship up.
57
00:02:01,273 --> 00:02:04,446
Frank, frank, frank.
58
00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:05,548
What is this?
59
00:02:05,617 --> 00:02:06,918
"future husband"?
60
00:02:06,986 --> 00:02:08,655
Who did you put
in your address book
61
00:02:08,723 --> 00:02:09,757
As "future husband"?
62
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:12,026
I have absolutely no idea.
63
00:02:12,094 --> 00:02:13,861
Well, whenever I find
something weird
64
00:02:13,929 --> 00:02:15,564
In my cell phone,
I can usually trace it back
65
00:02:15,632 --> 00:02:16,933
To the last time
I was drunk.
66
00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:20,073
Oh, my god,
the dentist's office.
67
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,408
Oh, your dentist gets drunk
with you too?
68
00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:23,245
No! When I was
under the anesthesia,
69
00:02:23,313 --> 00:02:25,382
I did a bunch of stuff
I don't remember.
70
00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:28,756
[gasps] including meeting
the man of your dreams?
71
00:02:28,824 --> 00:02:31,961
Oh, miss lemon,
it's so romantic,
72
00:02:32,029 --> 00:02:34,432
Just like that movie I only saw
the first ten minutes of,
73
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:35,701
Fatal attraction.
74
00:02:35,769 --> 00:02:37,805
Liz, you have to call him.
75
00:02:37,873 --> 00:02:40,476
What? No. I was out of my mind
on painkillers.
76
00:02:40,543 --> 00:02:42,379
I have zero memory
of this guy.
77
00:02:42,447 --> 00:02:44,382
I don't know what he looks like.
He could be a serial killer.
78
00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:46,921
[gasps]
he could wear a thumb ring.
79
00:02:46,988 --> 00:02:49,558
Miss lemon,
you're such a pessimist.
80
00:02:49,626 --> 00:02:51,395
You know
what my motto is?
81
00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:53,666
Everything always works out
for the best.
82
00:02:55,369 --> 00:02:57,906
Watch this.
83
00:02:57,974 --> 00:02:59,108
[tires screech, crash]
84
00:02:59,175 --> 00:03:01,311
I just threw my wallet
out the window,
85
00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:03,115
But I'm not worried.
86
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:06,755
Why? Because everything always
works out for the best.
87
00:03:06,822 --> 00:03:07,990
I'm sorry.
88
00:03:08,058 --> 00:03:09,993
How is that supposed
to make me call this guy?
89
00:03:10,061 --> 00:03:11,763
Be an optimist,
miss lemon.
90
00:03:11,831 --> 00:03:13,299
[tires screech, crash]
91
00:03:13,366 --> 00:03:16,270
[exciting jazz music]
92
00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:20,385
♪ 30 Rock 4x14 ♪
Future Husband Original Air Date on March 11, 2010
93
00:03:20,386 --> 00:03:21,386
-Sync by elderman --
-for www.addic7ed.com --
94
00:03:32,701 --> 00:03:33,969
Watch tgs this Friday...
95
00:03:34,036 --> 00:03:36,139
[coughs violently]
on...
96
00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:38,742
On...
97
00:03:40,312 --> 00:03:41,914
I think we got it.
98
00:03:41,982 --> 00:03:43,416
Okay.
Good first take.
99
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,752
Maybe we go one more time.
100
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:45,887
Excuse me?
101
00:03:45,954 --> 00:03:47,321
Do you know
who you're talking to?
102
00:03:47,389 --> 00:03:50,156
A future tony-nominated actor.
103
00:03:50,223 --> 00:03:51,356
That's right.
104
00:03:51,424 --> 00:03:53,591
It is tony-eligibility season.
105
00:03:53,658 --> 00:03:56,225
And I'm going for the "t"
in my egot.
106
00:03:56,293 --> 00:03:58,893
Really?
You've been cast on broadway?
107
00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:00,694
I'm doing a one-man show.
108
00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:02,262
You are? When?
Tonight.
109
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,663
Have you prepared anything?
110
00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:05,364
What am I, a nerd?
111
00:04:05,432 --> 00:04:08,734
I'm gonna keep it loose,
liz lemon.
112
00:04:10,937 --> 00:04:12,904
Jonathan!
113
00:04:12,972 --> 00:04:15,073
Jonathan, why is it
so quiet in here?
114
00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,941
Why aren't the phones ringing?
115
00:04:17,008 --> 00:04:18,609
Is it senior executive
skip day?
116
00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:19,775
That's usually in the spring,
117
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,943
So we can go
to an amusement park.
118
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,012
No, sir,
I don't understand.
119
00:04:24,079 --> 00:04:25,780
Maybe we're the last people
on earth.
120
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,381
Maybe we are legend.
121
00:04:27,449 --> 00:04:29,716
You're will smith,
and I'm the dog.
122
00:04:29,784 --> 00:04:31,751
[phone rings]
hello?
123
00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:33,686
Answering your own phone
on the first ring?
124
00:04:33,754 --> 00:04:35,354
It's all hands on deck
over there, huh?
125
00:04:35,422 --> 00:04:36,422
What do you mean?
Come on.
126
00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:38,390
The nbc buyout.
What's happening today?
127
00:04:38,458 --> 00:04:40,592
I'm sorry.
You're calling me as a source?
128
00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:41,726
How are you going to explain
129
00:04:41,794 --> 00:04:43,428
Your unnamed executive
to your producer?
130
00:04:43,496 --> 00:04:45,062
I'll tell him it's a guy
I'm having sex with.
131
00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,530
It's a 24-hour news cycle
here, jack.
132
00:04:46,598 --> 00:04:48,465
We really don't have time
to do it right anymore.
133
00:04:48,533 --> 00:04:49,666
So what do you want
to know?
134
00:04:49,734 --> 00:04:51,235
Okay, I know the deal
is happening today.
135
00:04:51,302 --> 00:04:52,769
The board's having
a secret meeting.
136
00:04:52,837 --> 00:04:53,770
I just need a confirmation.
137
00:04:53,838 --> 00:04:55,071
Wait, what?
No.
138
00:04:55,139 --> 00:04:56,639
I already told you
this morning.
139
00:04:56,707 --> 00:04:58,741
There's no deal.
Oh, my god.
140
00:04:58,809 --> 00:05:00,142
You really don't know
what's going on.
141
00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:01,610
They cut you
out of the loop, jack,
142
00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:02,711
Because you're against it.
143
00:05:02,779 --> 00:05:04,012
No, no, no,
I'm not out of the loop.
144
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,313
I just can't talk about it.
145
00:05:05,381 --> 00:05:07,281
I'm actually finishing up
a meeting right now.
146
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,149
Rhubarb, rhubarb,
golf, prostate.
147
00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:10,617
I'm gonna have
to call you back.
148
00:05:10,684 --> 00:05:12,418
[phone clicks]
149
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,887
Jonathan,
I want you to go down
150
00:05:15,954 --> 00:05:17,754
Into your little
assistant underworld
151
00:05:17,822 --> 00:05:19,322
And find out
where everybody is.
152
00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:20,390
I don't care
what it takes.
153
00:05:20,457 --> 00:05:22,859
This is a matter of life...
154
00:05:22,927 --> 00:05:24,260
Or death.
155
00:05:24,328 --> 00:05:27,029
Yes, sir. But if anything
should happen to me,
156
00:05:27,097 --> 00:05:29,031
I want you to read
oh, the places you'll go!
157
00:05:29,099 --> 00:05:30,400
At my funeral.
158
00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:33,470
I'm not doing that.
159
00:05:33,538 --> 00:05:34,605
Rinse, please.
160
00:05:34,673 --> 00:05:37,241
Well, you're healing
very nicely.
161
00:05:37,308 --> 00:05:40,143
You may continue to experience
sensitivity for a few more days.
162
00:05:40,211 --> 00:05:43,079
When can I start eating
hard cheeses again, doctor?
163
00:05:43,147 --> 00:05:46,581
I've had this pamphlet
printed up.
164
00:05:46,649 --> 00:05:48,816
It was expensive,
but I'm really tired
165
00:05:48,884 --> 00:05:51,152
Of discussing this with you.
166
00:05:51,219 --> 00:05:52,252
Huh.
167
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,821
Dr. Kaplan,
the last time I was here,
168
00:05:54,889 --> 00:05:58,157
I think I made
a gentleman friend.
169
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,126
But because of the anesthesia,
I can't remember
170
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,226
Where or how.
171
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,527
Well, there was
another patient
172
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,629
In the recovery room with you.
173
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:08,466
And I remember you were
both laughing quite a bit.
174
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,033
Okay.
So, uh, who is he?
175
00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:11,435
What does he look like?
176
00:06:11,503 --> 00:06:14,206
He has some gum recession--
four pockets on 14 and 15,
177
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,509
But, overall, very good teeth,
especially for an englishman.
178
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,644
Ooh, he's english?
I've said too much.
179
00:06:19,711 --> 00:06:21,712
I really can't tell you
anything about him--
180
00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:24,214
You know,
doctor-patient confidentiality.
181
00:06:24,282 --> 00:06:27,817
Ah, come on. I mean,
you're not really a doctor.
182
00:06:27,885 --> 00:06:29,185
Well, if that's
how you feel,
183
00:06:29,253 --> 00:06:30,587
Then you're not really
a patient.
184
00:06:30,654 --> 00:06:31,821
And people who aren't patients
185
00:06:31,889 --> 00:06:34,457
Don't get toys
from the treat bucket.
186
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,558
But there's a batman in there!
Yeah.
187
00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:39,294
And if you wind him up,
he swims in the bath.
188
00:06:39,362 --> 00:06:40,762
Damn you, kaplan!
189
00:06:42,163 --> 00:06:43,063
Who's here?
190
00:06:43,264 --> 00:06:45,464
I need someone to be
outraged too.
191
00:06:46,965 --> 00:06:48,765
uh... I'm here, miss Maroney.
192
00:06:48,766 --> 00:06:52,266
I actually slept here because
my house keys are in my wallet.
193
00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:53,567
It wasn't to bad.
194
00:06:53,568 --> 00:06:55,268
Late at night these two little twin girls
195
00:06:55,269 --> 00:06:56,269
told me they wanted
to play with me forever.
196
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,050
Have you seen this?
197
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:01,552
Is that a macy's
thanksgiving day parade pun?
198
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:02,820
In March?
199
00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:04,555
It's a rave review...
200
00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:05,889
For tracy.
201
00:07:05,957 --> 00:07:07,891
It's as if
claps-giving yay ha-rade
202
00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,893
Has lost all meaning.
203
00:07:09,961 --> 00:07:12,262
I did it.
I'm a broadway star.
204
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:14,764
Jenna, could you accept my tony
on my behalf?
205
00:07:14,832 --> 00:07:16,332
June is a tough month for me
206
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,400
Because
I begin lifeguarding again.
207
00:07:18,468 --> 00:07:19,901
You know, renting a theater
for one night
208
00:07:19,969 --> 00:07:21,269
And babbling on stage
for an hour--
209
00:07:21,337 --> 00:07:22,303
Five hours.
210
00:07:22,371 --> 00:07:23,805
Doesn't make you
an actor.
211
00:07:23,872 --> 00:07:25,573
I don't know.
People seem to like it.
212
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,741
Well, it certainly
doesn't get you a tony award.
213
00:07:27,809 --> 00:07:29,209
I know the tony rules,
214
00:07:29,277 --> 00:07:30,844
Because I've been petitioning
for them to add a category
215
00:07:30,911 --> 00:07:33,412
For living theatrically
in normal life.
216
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,080
And I know for a fact
you have to do your show
217
00:07:35,148 --> 00:07:37,816
A minimum of eight times
to be eligible.
218
00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:38,950
Wait.
The same show?
219
00:07:39,018 --> 00:07:41,652
[laughing]
of course the same show.
220
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,188
But I can't do that.
I'm a spontaneous actor.
221
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,423
I never do
the same thing twice.
222
00:07:46,491 --> 00:07:48,291
Action.
223
00:07:48,359 --> 00:07:50,193
Honey, I'm home.
224
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,661
Pac-man, I'm jewish.
225
00:07:52,729 --> 00:07:55,630
Jeffrey,
we lost the tournament.
226
00:07:55,698 --> 00:07:58,799
I can't do
seven more performances.
227
00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:00,367
Well, then you better think
of something else
228
00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:02,269
That starts with "t"
for your little necklace.
229
00:08:02,337 --> 00:08:04,838
Do they give an award
for tarantula misplacement?
230
00:08:09,209 --> 00:08:13,345
♪ jonathan downloads
geiss' schedule ♪
231
00:08:13,413 --> 00:08:15,447
♪ mr. Donaghy
will be grateful ♪
232
00:08:15,514 --> 00:08:17,215
♪ da-na-na ♪
233
00:08:17,282 --> 00:08:18,516
♪ da-na-na ♪
234
00:08:18,584 --> 00:08:19,917
♪ da-na-na ♪
235
00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:24,387
Oh, good morning,
miss lemon.
236
00:08:24,455 --> 00:08:26,389
Still haven't found
your wallet, huh?
237
00:08:26,457 --> 00:08:29,624
No. And I realized there was
a prescription in there
238
00:08:29,692 --> 00:08:31,126
I should have filled
yesterday.
239
00:08:31,193 --> 00:08:32,560
It keeps me from...
240
00:08:32,627 --> 00:08:34,628
[grunts, brays like a donkey]
241
00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:37,097
Don't worry.
It's just a donkey spell.
242
00:08:41,502 --> 00:08:44,237
Well, I went
to the dentist yesterday,
243
00:08:44,305 --> 00:08:46,172
And I actually found out
a little bit
244
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,074
About my mystery guy.
245
00:08:48,142 --> 00:08:49,409
And?
246
00:08:49,476 --> 00:08:52,344
And I now know
that he is english,
247
00:08:52,412 --> 00:08:53,879
And he made me laugh.
248
00:08:53,946 --> 00:08:55,680
That's wonderful,
249
00:08:55,748 --> 00:08:57,315
Even if he does come
from a country
250
00:08:57,382 --> 00:08:59,682
That's nothing more than the
dried husk america came out of.
251
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,150
So are you gonna call him?
252
00:09:01,218 --> 00:09:05,021
And say what,
that you're my future husband?
253
00:09:05,089 --> 00:09:07,124
I'd like to at least know
what this guy looks like
254
00:09:07,192 --> 00:09:08,859
Before I put myself
out there.
255
00:09:08,927 --> 00:09:10,894
Then we need to find a way
for you to see him
256
00:09:10,962 --> 00:09:12,395
Through trickery.
Kenneth.
257
00:09:12,463 --> 00:09:14,563
We all know deceit is okay
if it's done for love,
258
00:09:14,631 --> 00:09:16,865
Like when lot's daughters
got him drunk
259
00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:18,700
To repopulate the world
through incest
260
00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:21,702
Or when screech went to
the masquerade ball in disguise
261
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,271
So lisa would kiss him.
262
00:09:25,639 --> 00:09:27,206
[line trilling]
263
00:09:27,274 --> 00:09:28,874
This is wesley.
264
00:09:28,942 --> 00:09:31,310
[jamaican accent]
this is nurse jamakiah
265
00:09:31,378 --> 00:09:33,211
From dr. Kaplan's office.
266
00:09:33,279 --> 00:09:34,412
So here's the ting.
267
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,847
You need to come in today
268
00:09:35,914 --> 00:09:37,915
So the doctor can check
dem teeth, mon.
269
00:09:37,983 --> 00:09:39,416
Oh.
Is there something wrong?
270
00:09:39,484 --> 00:09:41,018
My checkup isn't
for another week.
271
00:09:41,085 --> 00:09:44,721
He tinks dat tooth might have
some bad mojo in it, ya see.
272
00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:46,589
[irish accent] might you
be available to come in
273
00:09:46,657 --> 00:09:48,291
Around 1:30, me lad?
274
00:09:48,359 --> 00:09:49,625
[whispering]
you're going irish.
275
00:09:49,693 --> 00:09:51,360
Okay.
1:30 is fine.
276
00:09:51,427 --> 00:09:54,562
Cool runnings, mon.
Bobsled.
277
00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:56,764
[normal voice] see?
Miss lemon, I told you.
278
00:09:56,832 --> 00:09:59,966
Everything...
[grunts, brays like a donkey]
279
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,467
Stay away!
I will bite you!
280
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,469
[continues braying]
281
00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:06,071
Jack, what brings you
down to news?
282
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:09,107
Hey, cnbc,
nightly news rules.
283
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,442
Go break a story,
williams!
284
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:11,710
Nightly rules.
285
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,412
Avery, I have
some information for you,
286
00:10:14,479 --> 00:10:16,646
But in exchange, I need you
to do something for me.
287
00:10:16,714 --> 00:10:18,248
Okay.
I told you last night, no.
288
00:10:18,315 --> 00:10:20,283
Why would you even want
to braid my hair?
289
00:10:20,351 --> 00:10:21,918
Because it's romantic,
and I'm really good at it.
290
00:10:21,985 --> 00:10:24,286
But this
is strictly professional.
291
00:10:24,354 --> 00:10:27,922
I saw don geiss' schedule,
and you're right.
292
00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:30,591
There is something going on...
293
00:10:30,658 --> 00:10:32,125
And I know where.
294
00:10:33,494 --> 00:10:36,262
This is jack welch's address
in connecticut.
295
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:37,997
But don geiss was seen
last night
296
00:10:38,064 --> 00:10:39,431
At the ritz-carlton
in philadelphia.
297
00:10:39,499 --> 00:10:41,266
Decoys.
298
00:10:41,334 --> 00:10:43,434
Or he could have driven back
by now.
299
00:10:43,502 --> 00:10:45,369
Oh, thanks for the tip.
300
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,404
In return, here's
how you're gonna report it.
301
00:10:47,471 --> 00:10:50,139
Geiss fights off buyout,
keeps company intact,
302
00:10:50,207 --> 00:10:52,441
Makes this gesture.
303
00:10:52,508 --> 00:10:54,043
Jack, I can't do that,
304
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,714
Because this deal is happening,
305
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,282
And if don geiss
is fighting it,
306
00:10:57,349 --> 00:10:59,550
You should start distancing
yourself from him.
307
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:00,718
Distancing myself?
308
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,386
That man is my mentor.
309
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,721
He taught me how to command
a room with my voice!
310
00:11:06,757 --> 00:11:08,091
Back to work.
311
00:11:08,158 --> 00:11:10,592
All I'm saying is,
the writing's on the wall.
312
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,661
Do you think it was easy
for me to cut ties
313
00:11:12,728 --> 00:11:15,229
From my old mentor, pat o'brien,
after he shaved his mustache?
314
00:11:15,297 --> 00:11:16,731
So this is what you do
to people--
315
00:11:16,798 --> 00:11:18,499
You use them,
and then you throw them aside?
316
00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:20,667
That is not fair.
This is not about us.
317
00:11:20,735 --> 00:11:21,735
This is about us.
318
00:11:21,803 --> 00:11:23,470
I came here asking you
to help me.
319
00:11:23,537 --> 00:11:24,904
And I'm trying
to help you.
320
00:11:24,972 --> 00:11:27,773
Being don geiss' guy
just became a liability.
321
00:11:27,841 --> 00:11:29,975
I spent the last 30 years
trying to be that guy.
322
00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:32,144
Well, you're never gonna be,
'cause no one is!
323
00:11:32,211 --> 00:11:33,611
That world
doesn't exist anymore!
324
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,279
[gasps] you're making me sound
just like my mother!
325
00:11:35,347 --> 00:11:36,647
Someone like you
couldn't possibly understand.
326
00:11:36,715 --> 00:11:38,482
Jack.
I'm going to connecticut.
327
00:11:38,550 --> 00:11:40,617
I'm gonna stand by my man,
328
00:11:40,685 --> 00:11:45,354
Which is the song that I sang
to don at his promotion dinner.
329
00:11:47,024 --> 00:11:48,925
Excuse me, miss maroney.
330
00:11:48,993 --> 00:11:51,461
Would you be interested in going
to mr. Jordan's show tonight?
331
00:11:51,528 --> 00:11:52,995
I know he could use
your support.
332
00:11:53,063 --> 00:11:54,430
I don't think so.
333
00:11:54,497 --> 00:11:56,698
If I wanted to see a black guy
make a fool of himself,
334
00:11:56,766 --> 00:11:58,834
I'd have sex
with k-fed again.
335
00:11:58,901 --> 00:12:01,636
I'm just worried
mr. Jordan may not egot.
336
00:12:01,704 --> 00:12:04,038
He has no idea what he did
in his show last night.
337
00:12:04,106 --> 00:12:07,441
And without my wallet, I don't
even have my lucky rabbit spine.
338
00:12:07,508 --> 00:12:09,108
I don't know
what's gonna happen.
339
00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,242
I'll tell you
what's gonna happen.
340
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,377
It's gonna be a disaster.
341
00:12:11,445 --> 00:12:13,146
The man is not an actor
342
00:12:13,213 --> 00:12:14,847
And has no business
being on the stage.
343
00:12:14,915 --> 00:12:16,548
Why, with a curtain
five hours from now,
344
00:12:16,616 --> 00:12:17,883
It would take
the greatest acting coach
345
00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,751
The world has ever seen
to make his show a success.
346
00:12:19,818 --> 00:12:21,219
Fine, I'll do it!
347
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,456
Sign in.
We're running behind today.
348
00:12:27,524 --> 00:12:29,591
We'll be with you
as soon as we can. Bobsled.
349
00:12:48,542 --> 00:12:51,810
[cell phone rings]
350
00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:00,184
This is wesley.
351
00:13:00,252 --> 00:13:02,286
Hello?
352
00:13:04,822 --> 00:13:07,724
[dance-music ringtone plays]
353
00:13:07,791 --> 00:13:11,560
♪ ♪
354
00:13:11,627 --> 00:13:13,027
[ringtone stops]
355
00:13:13,095 --> 00:13:17,364
Can you tell me why you come up
on my phone as future wife?
356
00:13:17,432 --> 00:13:21,602
Would you like
to get coffee?
357
00:13:21,669 --> 00:13:23,869
Mine was actually an infection
in the right rear molar
358
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,537
Caused by some loose bristles
from an off-brand toothbrush
359
00:13:26,604 --> 00:13:28,005
That I had to buy
over christmas,
360
00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:30,374
'cause my mom threw away
my old snoopy one.
361
00:13:30,441 --> 00:13:33,543
Wow, this is not interesting.
362
00:13:33,611 --> 00:13:34,778
[chuckles nervously]
363
00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:38,515
[chuckles]
364
00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:42,719
I don't know what caused
my root-canal situation.
365
00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:44,755
[laughs]
366
00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:48,058
Well, british people
have notoriously bad teeth,
367
00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:49,692
So...
368
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,094
I've never heard that.
369
00:13:52,162 --> 00:13:53,662
Really?
370
00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:56,298
You've never heard people
make jokes about british teeth?
371
00:13:56,366 --> 00:13:58,834
None of the brits I know have
a situation with their teeth.
372
00:13:58,902 --> 00:14:00,803
Well, it's just a thing
people say.
373
00:14:00,870 --> 00:14:02,738
Like when they say older women
have bread back.
374
00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:04,105
What's bread back?
375
00:14:04,173 --> 00:14:05,740
A loaf of back fat
between a woman's bra
376
00:14:05,808 --> 00:14:07,175
And her giant underwear.
377
00:14:07,243 --> 00:14:09,511
No, that's not a thing.
People don't say that.
378
00:14:09,578 --> 00:14:10,945
Not to you, no.
379
00:14:11,013 --> 00:14:13,983
I think we're getting off
on the wrong foot here.
380
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:16,185
It's turned
into a bit of a situation.
381
00:14:16,253 --> 00:14:20,656
You use that word too much.
382
00:14:22,759 --> 00:14:25,661
Both:
So any siblings?
383
00:14:25,729 --> 00:14:26,996
Wow.
384
00:14:27,063 --> 00:14:28,831
God.
385
00:14:28,899 --> 00:14:32,468
Mr. Welch, it's good
to see you again.
386
00:14:32,536 --> 00:14:34,436
Please, john,
call me jack.
387
00:14:34,502 --> 00:14:35,967
I actually go by jack
as well.
388
00:14:36,035 --> 00:14:38,133
I don't think so.
389
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,533
Well, I'd like
to talk to don.
390
00:14:40,601 --> 00:14:41,966
I know he's here.
391
00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:44,665
He is here.
But he's dead.
392
00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:46,866
[gasps]
what?
393
00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:48,365
He died three weeks ago.
394
00:14:48,432 --> 00:14:50,466
The company wanted
to keep it quiet
395
00:14:50,534 --> 00:14:52,767
Until the deal went through,
so I've been--
396
00:14:52,835 --> 00:14:54,635
Hiding him
in your freezer,
397
00:14:54,703 --> 00:14:56,436
Just like we did
with hiram sheinhardt
398
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:57,771
During the rca deal.
399
00:14:57,838 --> 00:15:00,173
Look, I know
how much don meant to you,
400
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,007
And if you need to pass
some eye water,
401
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:05,009
I'll be happy to go out and get
you some weakness tissues.
402
00:15:05,077 --> 00:15:07,278
No, I'm not crying
in front of jack welch--
403
00:15:07,345 --> 00:15:09,413
Neutron jack,
and I'm not giving up.
404
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,748
Don geiss wanted this company
kept intact.
405
00:15:11,815 --> 00:15:15,350
And these people are
from philadelphia.
406
00:15:15,418 --> 00:15:16,649
Let it go, john!
407
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,518
It's over.
408
00:15:23,132 --> 00:15:26,199
Miss lemon,
how did the dentist's office go?
409
00:15:26,261 --> 00:15:28,695
Did you meet wesley?
I did meet him.
410
00:15:28,763 --> 00:15:30,297
We even went out
for coffee.
411
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,798
And?
412
00:15:31,866 --> 00:15:34,267
And it was a disaster.
413
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,435
We were so awkward
that the waitress gave us
414
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,103
Separate checks
without asking.
415
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:41,639
And a priest came over
and asked us who we'd lost.
416
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,008
But it has to work out.
417
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,909
Does it?
Do you have your wallet back?
418
00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:47,511
Did I find
my future husband?
419
00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:51,481
Sometimes everything
is just the worst, kenneth.
420
00:15:51,548 --> 00:15:52,782
[door opens]
421
00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:55,917
[sighs]
422
00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:58,284
Jack?
It's over, lemon.
423
00:15:58,351 --> 00:15:59,418
It's all over.
424
00:15:59,485 --> 00:16:00,786
What?
What's wrong?
425
00:16:00,854 --> 00:16:02,521
Don geiss is dead.
426
00:16:02,589 --> 00:16:04,222
Oh, my god.
427
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:07,224
They're selling nbc
to a company called kabletown,
428
00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:08,858
With a "k."
429
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,126
Oh, yeah.
430
00:16:10,193 --> 00:16:12,794
My parents have kabletown
down in pennsylvania.
431
00:16:12,862 --> 00:16:15,728
It's a fine
and generous company.
432
00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:19,229
My dream, the dream I've had
since I was a child, is gone.
433
00:16:19,297 --> 00:16:21,864
I'll never be the ceo
of the general.
434
00:16:21,932 --> 00:16:24,532
Oh, jack, I'm so sorry.
435
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,335
Will I still be able to turn in
old cab receipts,
436
00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:30,236
Or do you think--
I'm sorry.
437
00:16:30,304 --> 00:16:31,904
I don't know what to say.
438
00:16:31,972 --> 00:16:33,706
Maybe you should talk
to avery.
439
00:16:33,773 --> 00:16:35,840
I don't know
about avery anymore.
440
00:16:35,908 --> 00:16:39,242
She's probably distancing
herself from me as we speak.
441
00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:42,110
I'm alone.
442
00:16:42,177 --> 00:16:43,578
I'm the protege
of a dead man
443
00:16:43,646 --> 00:16:46,748
At a company
that no longer exists.
444
00:16:46,816 --> 00:16:49,084
Wait.
Did you hear that?
445
00:16:50,586 --> 00:16:53,454
That's the sound of me
being erased from contact lists
446
00:16:53,522 --> 00:16:55,090
All around the world.
447
00:16:55,158 --> 00:16:57,997
Yeah, well,
I hear something else.
448
00:16:58,065 --> 00:17:01,469
It's the hug plane
coming in for a landing.
449
00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:04,004
You're cleared for approach.
450
00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:11,577
Acting is about consistency
and control.
451
00:17:11,645 --> 00:17:13,278
Got it--no farting.
452
00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:14,613
I'm gonna teach you
the skills
453
00:17:14,681 --> 00:17:16,514
That will allow you to perform
your show every night.
454
00:17:16,582 --> 00:17:19,316
Let us begin
with elocution.
455
00:17:19,384 --> 00:17:20,684
Repeat after me.
456
00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:22,252
After me.
No, tracy.
457
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,954
No, tracy.
No, stop it.
458
00:17:24,022 --> 00:17:25,423
Not this part.
No, stop it.
459
00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:28,633
Uh, we got to start over.
I farted.
460
00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:31,504
To sit in solemn silence
in a dull, dark dock
461
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:34,308
Awaiting the sensation
of a short, sharp shock.
462
00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:37,045
To sit in darkness
in a sharp, sharp shop
463
00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:39,013
In darkness and sitting
in the sharp.
464
00:17:39,081 --> 00:17:41,381
This is stupid.
This is not stupid.
465
00:17:41,449 --> 00:17:44,785
These are the building blocks
of the craft of acting--
466
00:17:44,853 --> 00:17:47,120
Something I have dedicated
my life to
467
00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:50,624
Ever since my very first job
as baby stuck in well
468
00:17:50,692 --> 00:17:52,060
In a commercial
for well guards.
469
00:17:52,128 --> 00:17:53,462
[clears throat]
470
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,297
Well guards--
471
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,633
Guard your well...
472
00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,067
Well.
473
00:17:59,135 --> 00:18:01,403
I remember
that commercial.
474
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,706
You were a fat baby.
475
00:18:03,774 --> 00:18:06,242
Well, maybe we're
just gonna have to agree
476
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:08,077
To disagree
on the acting process.
477
00:18:08,145 --> 00:18:09,845
You have no process.
478
00:18:09,913 --> 00:18:11,914
Acting is the discipline
of being someone else
479
00:18:11,982 --> 00:18:13,082
At all times.
480
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,383
I don't know.
481
00:18:14,451 --> 00:18:16,185
When I'm acting,
I just do me,
482
00:18:16,252 --> 00:18:17,753
And people seem
to love it.
483
00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:19,188
Well, then I guess
you don't need my help.
484
00:18:19,255 --> 00:18:21,489
Go out there
and be yourself.
485
00:18:21,557 --> 00:18:25,920
Go onstage and read the damn
phone book for all I care.
486
00:18:25,988 --> 00:18:27,887
What are you gonna do,
mr. Jordan?
487
00:18:27,954 --> 00:18:30,152
Do you think you can repeat
your performance?
488
00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:31,818
Your performance.
489
00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:35,622
Liz...
490
00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,058
Do you work here?
Yeah.
491
00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:38,493
Remember, at coffee,
492
00:18:38,561 --> 00:18:40,061
You said you hadn't seen
the show,
493
00:18:40,129 --> 00:18:41,229
But you'd heard bad things.
494
00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:43,464
Uh-huh.
What are you doing here?
495
00:18:43,532 --> 00:18:45,466
I'm supposed to meet
kenneth parcell.
496
00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:46,467
I found his wallet.
497
00:18:46,535 --> 00:18:48,169
What?
498
00:18:48,236 --> 00:18:51,705
You must be
my wallet angel.
499
00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:53,439
No.
This is not possible.
500
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,641
But it is.
501
00:18:54,708 --> 00:18:56,175
I knew my wallet
would turn up.
502
00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:57,677
And it did.
503
00:18:57,744 --> 00:19:01,680
No, kenneth, this is wesley
from the dentist's office.
504
00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:02,980
Oh, my goodness.
505
00:19:03,048 --> 00:19:05,948
This is the guy
from the dentist's office.
506
00:19:06,016 --> 00:19:08,350
He found my wallet.
507
00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:09,651
[chuckles, grunts]
508
00:19:09,719 --> 00:19:12,354
I'm either very happy
right now,
509
00:19:12,422 --> 00:19:14,255
Or I'm having
a pretty bad donkey spell.
510
00:19:14,323 --> 00:19:16,557
[brays like a donkey]
511
00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:19,762
I'm okay.
It'll pass.
512
00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:22,331
This is crazy.
513
00:19:22,399 --> 00:19:24,434
I guess we have to give it
another shot.
514
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:27,103
I guess we do.
515
00:19:27,171 --> 00:19:29,072
Dinner tonight?
Perfect.
516
00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:31,274
Do you like tex-mex?
517
00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:33,610
No, I don't.
518
00:19:33,678 --> 00:19:36,947
See you there.
519
00:19:37,014 --> 00:19:38,582
The fcc will now investigate
520
00:19:38,649 --> 00:19:40,884
This large-scale,
multimillion-dollar sale
521
00:19:40,951 --> 00:19:41,918
To kabletown.
522
00:19:41,985 --> 00:19:44,286
And now
the $5.6 billion question--
523
00:19:44,354 --> 00:19:45,454
Who will take the reins
524
00:19:45,522 --> 00:19:47,422
Of the cable giant's
new acquisition?
525
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:50,257
According to my sources,
the clear frontrunner--
526
00:19:50,325 --> 00:19:53,060
Current g.E. Executive
jack donaghy.
527
00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,863
The people I'm talking to
say he's the only guy out there
528
00:19:55,931 --> 00:19:58,934
With the programming experience,
business savvy,
529
00:19:59,001 --> 00:20:01,803
And piercing blue eyes
of a siberian husky
530
00:20:01,871 --> 00:20:03,472
That the job requires.
531
00:20:03,539 --> 00:20:04,506
[phones buzzing and ringing]
532
00:20:04,574 --> 00:20:05,907
I'm told donaghy
was instrumental
533
00:20:05,975 --> 00:20:07,976
In making this deal happen,
and I spoke to him earlier.
534
00:20:08,044 --> 00:20:11,613
He refused to speculate but
did say, and I'm quoting here,
535
00:20:11,681 --> 00:20:14,816
"I'm going to celebrate
by buying my lady friend
536
00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:16,418
"that necklace she pointed out
537
00:20:16,485 --> 00:20:19,387
And then cooking her
a western omelet."
538
00:20:19,455 --> 00:20:20,555
End quote.
539
00:20:20,623 --> 00:20:22,758
And then I'm gonna braid
your hair.
540
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,228
[phones ringing]
jack donaghy's office,
541
00:20:26,295 --> 00:20:27,762
Please hold.
542
00:20:27,830 --> 00:20:28,897
Jack donaghy's office,
please hold.
543
00:20:28,965 --> 00:20:30,565
Jack donaghy's office,
please hold.
544
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:32,500
Jack donaghy's office,
please hold.
545
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,035
"karsfeld, ruben m.
546
00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:39,065
"klarvat, yuri.
547
00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:40,630
"klausen, igor.
548
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,464
"klesteren, robert.
549
00:20:42,531 --> 00:20:44,364
"kletzko, harold.
550
00:20:44,432 --> 00:20:46,265
Kluber, tatiana."
551
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:47,729
I'm his acting teacher.
552
00:20:49,298 --> 00:20:50,963
"mordenay, lorenzo.
553
00:20:51,031 --> 00:20:52,730
"jinlo, martin.
554
00:20:52,798 --> 00:20:54,430
"rodman, gill.
555
00:20:55,098 --> 00:20:56,799
"takahamo, jessica.
556
00:20:56,866 --> 00:20:58,470
"thermopolis, dorothy.
557
00:21:02,237 --> 00:21:04,340
Lipowitz, lauren."
558
00:21:04,408 --> 00:21:05,341
[cheers and applause]
559
00:21:05,408 --> 00:21:07,408
Bravo!
Triumph!
560
00:21:07,447 --> 00:21:08,946
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561
00:21:09,946 --> 00:21:19,946
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562
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