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1
00:02:13,718 --> 00:02:17,472
"Old Lady Spinster,"
her guest hissed,
2
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:21,351
as he begged for his life.
3
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:24,354
If you listen closely,
4
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:29,025
you can still hear the cries
of her victims.
5
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,613
The cries of her victims!
6
00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:38,076
Oh, beware!
Beware!
7
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:43,623
Beware, beware!
8
00:02:43,665 --> 00:02:44,999
Beware!
9
00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:48,270
But you still have
two nights left
10
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,754
on your reservation!
11
00:02:49,796 --> 00:02:51,690
I told you
we should've gone to Dollywood!
12
00:02:51,714 --> 00:02:54,425
Who would want to stay here?
These people are frauds!
13
00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:05,770
This fake blood
sure stains.
14
00:03:05,812 --> 00:03:07,647
How grandmother was able
to get real blood
15
00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:09,440
out of this carpet,
I'll never know.
16
00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:10,983
Right?
17
00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:13,653
Hey, Granny, share with us
your secret, would ya?
18
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,697
I mean, give us
some of that sage advice.
19
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,323
"Sell the house!
20
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,534
Change your name
and start a new hotel!"
21
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:20,785
Wow, did you hear that?
22
00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:23,579
That's some really
good advice there.
23
00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:26,958
It's not funny, Sam!
Just show some respect.
24
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,209
Come on, sis, just admit it.
25
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,086
Nobody wants to stay
in a murder house.
26
00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:32,088
This isn't just
some murder house.
27
00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:33,256
This is our house.
28
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,757
- It's morbid!
- It's family.
29
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:40,638
People like horror.
30
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,306
People like being scared.
31
00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:44,726
- Crazy people.
- Don't.
32
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,286
I'm not saying you're crazy,
I'm just...
33
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:49,147
Our customers are out there.
34
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:51,232
We just have to find them.
35
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,782
Look at this.
36
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:02,952
Lizzie Bord-Inn, booked.
37
00:04:02,994 --> 00:04:05,580
Dahmer Apartment, booked.
38
00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:08,291
John Wayne Gacy
Circus Tent, booked.
39
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,251
Us, nothing.
40
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:13,838
What is it gonna take
to get us on the map?
41
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:18,217
Grandmother was America's
first female serial killer.
42
00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,136
That's a big deal.
43
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:24,682
If only the world knew
you were so groundbreaking.
44
00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:27,727
And so psychotic.
45
00:04:27,769 --> 00:04:30,438
What up, killers?
It's TheMorgueCases.
46
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,607
Today I got to check
another crime scene
47
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:35,318
off my mass murder bucket list
and spent the night
48
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:39,447
in Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment.
It was so great!
49
00:04:39,489 --> 00:04:42,116
That's it! Influencers.
50
00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:46,788
I need stupid, vapid, "Like
and Subscribe" influencers.
51
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:50,082
Okay, we reach out to this girl.
We offer her a free night.
52
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,668
We wine and dine
and frighten her,
53
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:56,464
and then, boom, positive review.
54
00:04:58,591 --> 00:05:00,009
You lost me at "free."
55
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:06,265
I'm at the Spinster
Murder House,
56
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,768
and if you've never heard of it,
don't be ashamed.
57
00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:11,604
This one is a deep cut,
even for The Morgue.
58
00:05:11,646 --> 00:05:13,439
The story goes that
80 years ago,
59
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:16,567
Old Lady Spinster, the
proprietor of this hotel,
60
00:05:16,609 --> 00:05:19,362
murdered an untold
number of guests.
61
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:23,115
After confessing to her crimes,
she died in an insane asylum.
62
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,284
Uh, no. Hi.
63
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:28,329
Actually, she did not die
in an insane asylum.
64
00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:31,707
She died peacefully
in a retirement home.
65
00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:33,793
And this, my morbid viewers,
66
00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:36,337
is Lady Spinster's
own granddaughter.
67
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:41,300
That's me, proud Spinster.
The name, not the other way.
68
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,679
- You know how it is, Morgan.
- Call me Morgue.
69
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,889
Now, you inherited this place
from your grandmother?
70
00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,975
Yes, we did,
my brother and I.
71
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,896
Hi.
72
00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:56,148
Go ahead and say hi
to our viewers, Mr. Spinster.
73
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,651
Oh, are they,
she's live right now?
74
00:05:58,693 --> 00:06:01,821
Yeah, but don't worry.
This is my BTS stream.
75
00:06:01,863 --> 00:06:05,950
Only a few thousand
people are watching.
76
00:06:05,992 --> 00:06:10,079
Um, welcome to
the Spinster Murder House!
77
00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:12,957
This way to the deception den.
78
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,547
Ooh!
79
00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:22,508
The house got gift points
for creep factor.
80
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,510
Grandmother
designed it herself.
81
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,762
Some even say the house
drove her to kill.
82
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,306
No, they don't.
83
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,308
You have
a shrine of her?
84
00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:33,895
I love it!
It's so trashy.
85
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:40,359
Wow. It's working!
86
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:43,404
Oh,
the stream dropped.
87
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,531
That's the steel panels
in the walls.
88
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,158
Grandmother had them installed.
89
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,160
To muffle
the screams of her victims.
90
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:53,915
Oh my god.
That's horrible.
91
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,583
Is there Wi-Fi?
92
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,339
This place sure is a maze.
93
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,799
That's the whole point, dear.
94
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:06,469
You see, grandmother designed
the architecture of this house
95
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:10,181
to confuse and then trap
her victims.
96
00:07:14,644 --> 00:07:16,312
See, that's what happens
to guests
97
00:07:16,354 --> 00:07:17,688
when they break the house rules.
98
00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,774
Rules?
99
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,193
My grandmother
was very strict.
100
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:25,196
Rule number one, no smoking.
101
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,662
Oh, and then
there's rule number two,
102
00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:35,081
absolutely no feet
on the furniture.
103
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:45,174
And of course,
and most importantly,
104
00:07:45,216 --> 00:07:47,426
rule number three:
105
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,804
- no noise after dark.
- No!
106
00:07:54,225 --> 00:07:57,228
The blood of everyone
who broke grandmother's rules
107
00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:01,315
still stains the walls
of this house.
108
00:08:01,357 --> 00:08:04,944
Looks more like rust.
Do you have leaky pipes?
109
00:08:04,986 --> 00:08:08,280
No. No, no, no, no, no.
That's blood.
110
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,883
Well, then,
what happened to the bodies?
111
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,242
They never found them.
112
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,702
Then how do you know
it's true?
113
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,161
Because she confessed.
114
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,639
If there's no body,
then there's no murder.
115
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,415
That's like True Crime 101.
116
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:19,208
Perhaps she fed them
to her victims.
117
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:20,501
And the bones?
118
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,770
They were tossed
down this corpse chute
119
00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:25,006
to a secret basement below.
120
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:29,885
- That's just a dumbwaiter.
- Or a dead waiter.
121
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:33,597
I don't know.
It just seems a little thin.
122
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,016
What's that
supposed to mean?
123
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:37,351
It's just,
I've studied every serial killer
124
00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:40,646
from John Eric Armstrong
to Kevin Lee Zimmerman,
125
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,440
and I've never heard of
the Spinster case
126
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:43,816
until you emailed me.
127
00:08:43,858 --> 00:08:45,794
How do you know she wasn't
just some crazy old woman
128
00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,236
who built a wonky house?
129
00:08:47,278 --> 00:08:50,614
You have no idea
what you're talking about.
130
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:54,035
I mean, grandmother was
a world-class serial killer,
131
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,595
and I'll bet if she was
here right now,
132
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,038
she'd hack you to pieces!
133
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,045
What she meant was
if you need anything,
134
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,086
let us know.
135
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:19,101
This house is
definitely spooky,
136
00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:21,270
but I don't know
about the owners.
137
00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:22,980
They're kinda creepy,
138
00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:25,357
and I don't mean creepy
in a fun way.
139
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,401
Like, sad creepy.
140
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,324
"There's no body.
There's no murder."
141
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,034
Can you believe her?
142
00:09:35,076 --> 00:09:37,286
Accusing dear old grandmother
of not killing anyone?
143
00:09:37,328 --> 00:09:38,913
Just stop
complaining, okay?
144
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:43,292
We're not doing this for her.
We're doing it for her viewers.
145
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,545
Whoa.
146
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:49,381
What the hell's happening
with our reservations?
147
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:52,093
I bet it's her.
148
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:55,012
So far the only thing I'm sure
Old Lady Spinster killed
149
00:09:55,054 --> 00:09:56,806
is my vacation.
150
00:09:56,847 --> 00:10:00,601
This little brat
is gonna ruin us.
151
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:03,938
Oh no, she isn't.
152
00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:22,540
Ah, you're just in time
for breakfast.
153
00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,625
I made some sausage and eggs.
154
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:27,503
I'm vegan.
I think meat is murder.
155
00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:28,879
I thought you liked murder.
156
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:31,507
Well, yeah,
but just people.
157
00:10:31,549 --> 00:10:33,509
Oh.
158
00:10:33,551 --> 00:10:35,636
Also,
the Wi-Fi's down.
159
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,930
Yes, that, um,
I've actually been on the phone
160
00:10:37,972 --> 00:10:40,224
all morning with
the repair company,
161
00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:42,685
and waiting, you know how it is.
162
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,980
Right.
Well, thanks.
163
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,022
Mm-hmm.
164
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:54,363
Hey, I wanted to apologize
if I upset you yesterday.
165
00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:56,699
I'm just a stickler
for details, you know?
166
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,033
Don't mention it.
167
00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,594
Yeah, I understand that
you true crime people,
168
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,579
you have to ask
a lot of questions.
169
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,956
I think that we should
keep an open mind,
170
00:11:03,998 --> 00:11:05,791
which is why I was thinking
171
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,210
maybe we could do
a little investigating today.
172
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,087
What kind of investigating?
173
00:11:10,129 --> 00:11:12,965
Look around the house
for any unmarked entrances,
174
00:11:13,007 --> 00:11:15,759
hidden doors,
overlooked crawlspaces.
175
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,553
Maybe find where
all those bodies ended up?
176
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:19,805
The police already did
an extensive search.
177
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,433
Like, years ago,
and I bet back then
178
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,436
they didn't have
stuff like this.
179
00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:31,275
Metal detector.
180
00:11:31,317 --> 00:11:35,237
Ultra-wide band radar scanners.
181
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,906
Infrared camera.
182
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,328
Now, who's ready
to find some bodies?
183
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,926
Oh, look!
184
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,802
Chemical stains.
185
00:12:12,066 --> 00:12:15,945
Grandmother's secret
stash of poisons.
186
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,405
That's her stash
of poisons, all right.
187
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,157
Gin.
188
00:12:23,494 --> 00:12:25,412
Brandy.
189
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,296
- Are these iron walls?
- Like I said, all metal.
190
00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:39,802
You said steel.
191
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,366
Any objection
if I open this wall?
192
00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:45,849
Be my guest.
193
00:13:05,411 --> 00:13:08,998
Looks like
some kind of vault.
194
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:12,751
Oh my god.
195
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,129
This is it.
196
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,506
Grandmother's corpse locker.
197
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,804
You know how
to open a safe?
198
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,390
Like I said,
I love true crime.
199
00:13:26,432 --> 00:13:29,310
I just know this is where
grandmother hid the bodies.
200
00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:37,484
That should do it.
201
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,820
Would you like to do
the honors, Pamela?
202
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,508
Looks like
Old Lady Spinster
203
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:05,304
was just a spinster.
204
00:14:05,346 --> 00:14:07,514
No.
205
00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:10,017
No, she must've used
this sewing machine
206
00:14:10,059 --> 00:14:12,895
to sew and then wear
the flesh of her victims.
207
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,481
I mean, there could be
any number of torture chambers
208
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,524
or secret passages
in this house, or...
209
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,753
- Just stop, okay? Stop it!
- ... doors in this thing.
210
00:14:19,777 --> 00:14:21,087
Or wait, there could be
a latch or something!
211
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,154
There can be...
212
00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,198
Face it, Pamela.
213
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,784
Old Lady Spinster
never killed anyone.
214
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,119
- She was just crazy...
- I'm not crazy!
215
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:31,205
She didn't
call you crazy, Pam, okay?
216
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,539
Now stop it.
217
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:34,666
Just because
we haven't found any bodies
218
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,710
doesn't mean that
she didn't kill anyone.
219
00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:38,587
She was a homicidal genius!
220
00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:41,757
She was greater than Wuornos!
Greater than Bundy!
221
00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:44,301
You will see the Spinster name
will live forever!
222
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,306
This place is a total scam.
223
00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,725
The owners are
complete whack jobs.
224
00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:54,853
One-star rating only 'cause
I can't give it zero.
225
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:58,065
Save the gas money and avoid
the Spinster Murder House.
226
00:14:58,107 --> 00:15:00,818
Trust me, I wouldn't
be caught dead here.
227
00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:09,410
Whatever, I'll stop
at a Starbucks.
228
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:23,298
You need to calm down.
We need her to live document.
229
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,926
You confronting her
is the last thing we need.
230
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,344
I can't believe it.
231
00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:29,096
She doesn't believe
any of it.
232
00:15:29,138 --> 00:15:31,265
She's probably giving us
a bad review right now.
233
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:32,724
Can you blame her?
234
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,852
You're screaming and going on
like some crazy person.
235
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:38,730
Thank you,
Old Lady Spinster.
236
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,816
What is that
supposed to mean?
237
00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,484
Let's hope you lead
to an exit.
238
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:43,819
The writing's
on the wall.
239
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:45,296
We've been losing money
for the last three years!
240
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,281
The roof leaks,
the plumbing's shot.
241
00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:50,159
Well, thank you!
Are you gonna fix it?
242
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,578
Maybe we can get
that little brat to go along.
243
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:53,996
How are you
gonna do that?
244
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,665
Are you gonna threaten her,
or are you gonna pay her
245
00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:59,835
with all the money we have?
Let's face it,
246
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:02,713
this whole macabre bed and
breakfast thing is doomed.
247
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,858
And frankly, I'm happy that
grandma hasn't killed anybody
248
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:06,717
'cause now I don't have
to feel guilty over
249
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:10,012
being a part of
some crazy family!
250
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,598
She wasn't crazy.
251
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:16,768
This is our home, Samuel,
and I will die before
252
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,896
I let that girl destroy
what we've built.
253
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:21,815
- You're scaring me.
- Good.
254
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:25,777
Maybe that's just what
the little bitch needs,
255
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:28,489
a good scare from an old ghost.
256
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:14,993
Boy, sure is a good thing
I brought my mace!
257
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,745
It's made with ghost peppers.
258
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,330
You know,
to keep away the ghosts?
259
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:19,748
What the hell
is wrong with you?
260
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:22,459
Oh, Pamela,
is that you?
261
00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:24,044
- Ow!
- I could've sworn
262
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,963
it was the ghost of
that crazy old lady.
263
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:27,464
She's not crazy!
264
00:17:27,506 --> 00:17:32,678
Really?
Take a look at yourself.
265
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:36,765
This isn't a murder house.
It's a crazy house.
266
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:47,317
Are you recording this?
267
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,987
- Stop it.
- Oh, no way.
268
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,506
This might be
my favorite shot of you.
269
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,365
Give me that phone.
270
00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:55,826
Give me that phone!
Give me that phone!
271
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:57,845
You wanted people
to see Old Lady Spinster, huh?
272
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,204
- Shut up!
- So here she is!
273
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,765
I'm looking right at her,
crazy Old Lady Spinster!
274
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,584
Shut up!
You want a murder house?
275
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:06,044
I'll give you a murder house.
276
00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:10,674
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
277
00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:22,436
You can't hide from me.
278
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,187
This is my house.
279
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:30,277
Beware!
280
00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,696
Pam?
281
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:41,622
Where's the latch?
282
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:45,042
I know it's here somewhere.
283
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,710
Yes!
284
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:01,892
Hello, Mr. Modem.
285
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,061
Okay.
286
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:09,483
Full signal.
Let's do this.
287
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:14,529
Help!
288
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:16,990
I'm trapped in
the Spinster house!
289
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,667
Somebody call 911!
290
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:30,504
I'm at the Spinster house!
She's gonna kill me!
291
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,060
Pam.
292
00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:46,645
Isn't this what
you always wanted?
293
00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:48,605
Please, please,
I'm sorry, okay?
294
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,607
Some real true crime
in your life?
295
00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:52,859
No!
296
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:38,280
Sam? We have to get
the carpet cleaned.
297
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:39,906
I think...
298
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:44,244
I think the hardware store
opens at six.
299
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,789
Sam, I need your help.
300
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:51,752
- Sam?
- I'm right here, sis.
301
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:55,547
After all, maybe grandmother
didn't kill anybody,
302
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:58,633
so we can still make this
a murder house!
303
00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,586
Good afternoon.
Spinster Murder-Suicide House.
304
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:19,946
This is Sam.
I am so sorry, ma'am,
305
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:23,825
but we have no vacancies
until next winter.
306
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:27,287
That's correct.
Thank you, sir.
307
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:28,747
Well, if you sign up
308
00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:30,725
for our Spinster Murder-Suicide
House mailing list,
309
00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:32,185
you'll be one of
the first notified of
310
00:21:32,209 --> 00:21:35,045
any of our cancellations.
311
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:36,846
And we look forward
to seeing you too, ma'am.
312
00:21:47,057 --> 00:21:51,102
Well, sis, I hate to admit it,
but you were right.
313
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,855
There's definitely
a market for horror.
314
00:21:55,899 --> 00:21:56,983
No, no, no!
315
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,610
Please don't kill me,
Miss Spinster!
316
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:07,828
And now to join
my dear grandmother in hell.
317
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,829
Granny really was
a serial killer!
318
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:58,670
I'm gonna be rich!
319
00:23:40,629 --> 00:23:43,048
There's a new
sheriff in town, Mr. Bug,
320
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,759
and his name's Harlan King.
321
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,261
Requiestcat in pace,
Beetlejuice.
322
00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:55,852
Who's next?
You know what today is?
323
00:23:55,894 --> 00:23:58,355
It's eight-legged
Armageddon day.
324
00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:02,067
Well, now that's really pretty,
little lady.
325
00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:06,488
Time to die.
326
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:10,200
Pretty shot to hell and gone.
327
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:12,243
Pretty frickin' dead!
328
00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:18,959
Hello?
329
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,312
King Pest Control?
330
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:26,091
Shh.
331
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:28,677
King Pest Control.
332
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:45,902
"Step into my parlor,"
said the asshole spider
333
00:24:45,944 --> 00:24:48,196
to the terror-dominant fly.
334
00:24:48,238 --> 00:24:52,534
"Why, it's mass insecticide!"
335
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:54,411
The King has arrived!
336
00:24:57,414 --> 00:25:01,543
Excuse me, Mr. King,
I'm with a patient, working,
337
00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:04,212
- as you're supposed to be.
- I'm done already.
338
00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:07,507
Stinkbugs, spiders,
moths, worms.
339
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:10,635
Kaput.
Just a couple of birds.
340
00:25:10,677 --> 00:25:13,013
Not many.
I left them on the porch.
341
00:25:13,054 --> 00:25:14,931
Please wait in the parlor.
342
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:17,142
Oh, well, first,
I need you to remit my fee
343
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:20,103
as per our agreement,
which I believe came before
344
00:25:20,145 --> 00:25:21,646
this easy chair action?
345
00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:23,732
I'll be
right with you.
346
00:25:23,773 --> 00:25:26,026
Sorry, I can't bring
all the creepy-crawlies
347
00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:28,570
back to life and kill 'em
all over again.
348
00:25:28,611 --> 00:25:31,197
That's not how
that works, doctor.
349
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:34,325
A little professional courtesy
would be nice, just sayin'.
350
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,044
Now, you and me,
351
00:25:44,085 --> 00:25:45,646
we're kind of in the same
business, aren't we, doc?
352
00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:46,772
Help people eliminate
little problems.
353
00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:49,340
Please stop talking.
354
00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:51,217
Mr. King, I trust this is
the last time
355
00:25:51,259 --> 00:25:52,469
I will ever see you.
356
00:25:52,510 --> 00:25:55,138
Please feel free
to lose my number.
357
00:25:55,180 --> 00:25:56,514
Oh, sure, no problem.
358
00:25:56,556 --> 00:26:02,103
Just, uh, call me
whenever you want me back.
359
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:05,607
What makes you think
I would ever want you back?
360
00:26:05,648 --> 00:26:08,693
'Cause there's only one King,
and I'm it, doc.
361
00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:12,614
They call back always.
You will too.
362
00:26:12,655 --> 00:26:14,449
Bye-bye.
363
00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:23,792
She doesn't know
who she's talking to.
364
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,877
She doesn't know how to
deal with the public.
365
00:26:34,302 --> 00:26:37,055
"Lose my number!"
366
00:26:37,097 --> 00:26:39,224
Yeah, we'll see about that.
367
00:26:42,811 --> 00:26:44,312
You'll call back.
368
00:26:56,616 --> 00:27:01,746
Roaches check in,
but they don't check out.
369
00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:05,875
All right,
you guys know the drill.
370
00:27:05,917 --> 00:27:08,628
Be fruitful and multiply.
371
00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:10,797
The King has spoken.
372
00:27:20,140 --> 00:27:21,850
Damn it.
373
00:27:21,891 --> 00:27:25,436
Is it East Willard
or West Willard Boulevard?
374
00:27:25,478 --> 00:27:29,149
No, no, no, no, shh.
375
00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:31,818
You're not gonna crap out
on me too, are you?
376
00:27:31,860 --> 00:27:34,279
Gonna be stranded
in this flooded toilet.
377
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:38,116
Don't do it.
Do not do it.
378
00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:40,410
Shh, come on.
379
00:27:56,593 --> 00:27:59,179
Well, that's great.
380
00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:02,765
Don't bother to have
any numbers on the buildings.
381
00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:06,978
Y'ello?
King Pest Control!
382
00:28:09,439 --> 00:28:12,275
The King has arrived!
383
00:28:16,112 --> 00:28:19,699
Yo?
384
00:28:19,741 --> 00:28:23,995
King Pest Control?
You cry, bugs die.
385
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:29,959
You got about 30 seconds
before
386
00:28:30,001 --> 00:28:33,171
- I get out of here.
- Mr. King?
387
00:28:33,213 --> 00:28:35,757
- Yeah, that'd be me.
- Thank you for coming.
388
00:28:35,798 --> 00:28:41,221
My name is Murdoch.
You may call me Mr. Murdoch.
389
00:28:41,262 --> 00:28:43,806
I appreciate your time.
I already know that
390
00:28:43,848 --> 00:28:46,267
your services are
in great demand.
391
00:28:46,309 --> 00:28:50,855
Uh, yeah, right, yeah.
There's only one King.
392
00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:54,067
Of course.
393
00:28:54,108 --> 00:28:55,568
So what's the problem?
394
00:28:55,610 --> 00:28:58,029
Do I gotta guess?
Uh, look, I can handle anything
395
00:28:58,071 --> 00:29:01,324
from fleas to
alligator infestations.
396
00:29:01,366 --> 00:29:02,676
I have
no doubt whatsoever
397
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:04,953
as to your efficacy, Mr. King.
398
00:29:04,994 --> 00:29:09,374
You come very
highly recommended.
399
00:29:09,415 --> 00:29:11,709
Really? A referral? Who?
400
00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:14,003
Well, I'm not
at liberty to reveal that,
401
00:29:14,045 --> 00:29:18,132
but I do know that you come from
decades of experience,
402
00:29:18,174 --> 00:29:20,468
a family trade, in fact,
403
00:29:20,510 --> 00:29:23,596
handed down from your uncle,
currently incarcerated?
404
00:29:23,638 --> 00:29:25,348
Hey, what's that
gotta do with anything?
405
00:29:25,390 --> 00:29:28,935
Oh, apologies.
406
00:29:28,977 --> 00:29:30,520
Oh, it's immaterial.
407
00:29:30,561 --> 00:29:34,232
It has no bearing at all
on our business.
408
00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:36,109
Tell me, Mr. King,
409
00:29:36,150 --> 00:29:39,320
would you enjoy owning
a new service van?
410
00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:41,656
What do you mean?
The one I got's okay.
411
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:44,200
Well, I could hear you coming
from half a mile away.
412
00:29:44,242 --> 00:29:46,619
Oh, listen, don't be upset.
413
00:29:46,661 --> 00:29:50,915
I believe that
I could be the solution of
414
00:29:50,957 --> 00:29:53,418
many such problems of yours,
415
00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:58,506
provided you help me with
problems of mine.
416
00:29:58,548 --> 00:30:00,967
Special drugs
for special bugs, Mr. Murdoch.
417
00:30:01,009 --> 00:30:04,387
- I make vermin die squirmin'.
- Quite.
418
00:30:04,429 --> 00:30:10,268
Well, permit me to apprise you
of my problem.
419
00:30:10,310 --> 00:30:15,481
My vermin problem.
420
00:30:15,523 --> 00:30:17,442
See, I have...
421
00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:19,610
I've owned this property
for quite some time.
422
00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:21,362
In fact, I have several
just like it,
423
00:30:21,404 --> 00:30:26,075
and I'm poised to have them all
razed and refurbished
424
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:28,494
into condominium complexes.
425
00:30:28,536 --> 00:30:31,622
If I'm satisfied
with your results,
426
00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:33,017
there could be
a great deal more work
427
00:30:33,041 --> 00:30:35,501
just like this for you,
full-time work.
428
00:30:36,878 --> 00:30:39,380
Well, twist my arm,
lead me to it.
429
00:30:39,422 --> 00:30:42,175
My problem is
I can't begin the renovations
430
00:30:42,216 --> 00:30:46,596
until my infestation issue
has been dealt with.
431
00:30:49,432 --> 00:30:51,392
Come take a look.
432
00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:08,785
Oh, easy-peasy.
No mystery there.
433
00:31:08,826 --> 00:31:10,411
Rats are attracted to
the food waste
434
00:31:10,453 --> 00:31:11,829
these vagrants
leave lying around,
435
00:31:11,871 --> 00:31:17,585
plus fetid garbage,
plus human waste.
436
00:31:17,627 --> 00:31:20,046
I got just the cocktail.
437
00:31:20,088 --> 00:31:22,507
Nitrobenzene plus
brotophyllocum.
438
00:31:22,548 --> 00:31:25,510
Vitamin K antagonist
anticoagulant.
439
00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:26,969
Kills rats dead.
440
00:31:27,011 --> 00:31:30,973
Hell, it'll kill
rabbits, possums.
441
00:31:31,015 --> 00:31:32,475
Just about anything.
442
00:31:33,976 --> 00:31:38,064
I didn't say anything
about rats, Mr. King.
443
00:31:38,106 --> 00:31:43,152
You did mention something
about human waste?
444
00:31:43,194 --> 00:31:46,155
Well, there you go.
445
00:31:51,244 --> 00:31:54,997
I've tried every conventional
method of removing them.
446
00:31:55,039 --> 00:31:57,792
The city officials
have been no help.
447
00:31:57,834 --> 00:32:00,753
The civil authorities claim
it's not their responsibility.
448
00:32:00,795 --> 00:32:04,340
I've had the police
remove them several times.
449
00:32:04,382 --> 00:32:06,134
I've run out of options.
450
00:32:08,302 --> 00:32:11,722
You want me to
get rid of these people?
451
00:32:11,764 --> 00:32:15,518
I want you to resolve
my vermin issue.
452
00:32:17,937 --> 00:32:21,232
Do you know what
they cook in those kettles?
453
00:32:21,274 --> 00:32:24,944
Animals!
Stray dogs and cats.
454
00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:28,156
I shudder to think what else
they might be cooking.
455
00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:31,742
You know what,
456
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:34,287
I don't do murder for hire.
I'm outta here.
457
00:32:34,328 --> 00:32:37,999
That's all you do, Mr. King!
Who do you think you're kidding?
458
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,417
No, no, no, no!
459
00:32:39,459 --> 00:32:42,545
This is not the same as
anything that I do!
460
00:32:42,587 --> 00:32:46,799
Of course it is!
Here.
461
00:32:49,260 --> 00:32:52,889
Look before you leave,
as they say.
462
00:32:57,935 --> 00:32:59,604
Now that is a lot of money.
463
00:33:03,149 --> 00:33:06,944
Surely one of your special
chemical cocktails
464
00:33:06,986 --> 00:33:10,907
will do the trick.
Drugs for bugs, as you say.
465
00:33:10,948 --> 00:33:15,995
After all, you are the King.
466
00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:21,375
Aren't you?
467
00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:23,544
All hail the King.
468
00:33:27,965 --> 00:33:31,469
Okay, okay,
maybe just one.
469
00:33:31,511 --> 00:33:35,765
I-I-I could...
I mean, I could do one.
470
00:34:41,956 --> 00:34:43,666
It ain't worth it.
471
00:34:53,217 --> 00:34:54,677
Now wait a minute.
Sir?
472
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:56,429
Sir?
473
00:36:13,506 --> 00:36:14,715
Damn it.
474
00:36:14,757 --> 00:36:16,926
How dare you,
you frickin' little monster?
475
00:36:16,967 --> 00:36:22,640
In my house?
My house?
476
00:36:22,682 --> 00:36:25,142
Gotta give you credit
for some balls.
477
00:36:57,591 --> 00:37:01,679
A for effort, Mr. King.
478
00:37:01,721 --> 00:37:04,223
Unfortunately,
you lost your nerve, didn't you?
479
00:37:04,265 --> 00:37:07,518
Is that Murdoch?
480
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,354
That means
you're not the King, doesn't it?
481
00:37:10,396 --> 00:37:12,440
No, no, no,
what are you doing?
482
00:37:12,481 --> 00:37:14,400
Oh,
and one more thing.
483
00:37:20,823 --> 00:37:23,909
Now you really
are King.
484
00:37:27,037 --> 00:37:29,081
The crap is it now?
485
00:37:31,208 --> 00:37:33,544
Oh.
486
00:38:40,528 --> 00:38:43,280
They must've ate it all.
487
00:38:43,322 --> 00:38:46,408
The soup, the poison,
every one of 'em.
488
00:38:53,499 --> 00:38:55,835
You've reached
Murdoch Ventures Limited.
489
00:38:55,876 --> 00:38:59,129
Please leave a succinct...
490
00:38:59,171 --> 00:39:00,357
Ah,
the hell with you too,
491
00:39:00,381 --> 00:39:02,091
you one-percent shitbag.
492
00:39:32,496 --> 00:39:36,375
God.
See, come on.
493
00:39:45,092 --> 00:39:46,552
God!
494
00:39:53,475 --> 00:39:55,978
Holy shit!
495
00:40:23,005 --> 00:40:26,467
Damn it,
leave me the hell alone!
496
00:40:50,407 --> 00:40:51,885
We're sorry.
The number you dialed...
497
00:40:53,035 --> 00:40:55,996
Shit!
Shit!
498
00:41:13,555 --> 00:41:15,516
What the hell?
499
00:42:07,067 --> 00:42:08,652
Mr. King.
500
00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:14,074
Mr. King.
501
00:42:14,116 --> 00:42:16,035
Can you hear me?
502
00:42:16,076 --> 00:42:17,786
What are you doing here?
503
00:42:23,250 --> 00:42:26,462
I need your help.
I mean, I need to talk to you.
504
00:42:26,503 --> 00:42:27,963
You're hurt.
I called an ambulance.
505
00:42:28,005 --> 00:42:31,258
No!
No ambulance, please.
506
00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:33,135
You said you listen to people
507
00:42:33,177 --> 00:42:34,762
and you help them
with their problems.
508
00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:36,847
Yes, but you obviously need
medical attention.
509
00:42:36,889 --> 00:42:38,265
I'm not equipped.
510
00:42:38,307 --> 00:42:43,437
No, no, no, no, no, please,
I've done something!
511
00:42:43,479 --> 00:42:46,065
I've done something bad
and I need your help!
512
00:42:46,106 --> 00:42:48,567
You have to help me!
513
00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:51,236
Okay.
Okay.
514
00:42:59,495 --> 00:43:02,372
What's going on.
515
00:43:02,414 --> 00:43:04,083
I don't know why
I said yes.
516
00:43:04,124 --> 00:43:06,210
I was gonna say no,
but then I saw the guy
517
00:43:06,251 --> 00:43:08,253
with the briefcase
and I was like, oh,
518
00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:09,814
and I thought all that dough
could solve all my problems
519
00:43:09,838 --> 00:43:11,465
- and...
- Mr. King,
520
00:43:11,507 --> 00:43:12,549
you need to slow down.
521
00:43:12,591 --> 00:43:14,218
Take a breath.
522
00:43:14,259 --> 00:43:17,387
Now tell me,
what did he want you to do?
523
00:43:17,429 --> 00:43:20,015
"Do what you do best."
That's what he said.
524
00:43:20,057 --> 00:43:21,451
"Now they're practically
dead already.
525
00:43:21,475 --> 00:43:24,103
They eat dogs and cats
and maybe even people."
526
00:43:24,144 --> 00:43:26,396
Who is it
that said this to you?
527
00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:37,574
The devil.
528
00:43:37,616 --> 00:43:40,369
The man who showed up
in your bedroom
529
00:43:40,410 --> 00:43:43,372
in the middle of the night
in a dream
530
00:43:43,413 --> 00:43:46,500
and now cannot be found,
according to you.
531
00:43:46,542 --> 00:43:48,812
I dropped it into the soup,
the strongest cocktail I got.
532
00:43:48,836 --> 00:43:51,839
I spent years developing it.
533
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:53,715
It's a joke.
It's my joke.
534
00:43:53,757 --> 00:43:56,260
It's, um, kind of a...
what do you call it?
535
00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:57,845
A mixologist of the trade,
536
00:43:57,886 --> 00:43:59,721
the right drug
for the right bug?
537
00:43:59,763 --> 00:44:03,308
Nitrobenzene, brotophyllocum,
pyrethroids?
538
00:44:03,350 --> 00:44:05,519
They tried to ban it,
but if you know the ingredients,
539
00:44:05,561 --> 00:44:06,979
you can roll your own.
540
00:44:07,020 --> 00:44:08,665
That all
sounds wonderful, Mr. King.
541
00:44:08,689 --> 00:44:12,609
I'm sure you're very good
at what you do.
542
00:44:12,651 --> 00:44:14,087
I know what you're thinking.
543
00:44:14,111 --> 00:44:15,421
You're thinking
I've got some kind of
544
00:44:15,445 --> 00:44:17,614
overblown guilt complex!
545
00:44:17,656 --> 00:44:21,201
Well, I'm beginning to think
you need a cocktail too!
546
00:44:21,243 --> 00:44:23,412
Bottoms up, doc!
547
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:31,044
Guilt can be
a powerful drug...
548
00:44:31,086 --> 00:44:34,214
but so is sleep deprivation.
549
00:44:34,256 --> 00:44:38,093
You haven't had any sleep
in a long time, have you?
550
00:44:38,135 --> 00:44:40,179
No.
551
00:44:40,220 --> 00:44:42,431
How could I?
552
00:44:42,472 --> 00:44:44,391
They come even
when I'm asleep.
553
00:44:44,433 --> 00:44:46,351
I see.
554
00:44:46,393 --> 00:44:51,732
I think you need to sit back,
close your eyes,
555
00:44:51,773 --> 00:44:55,527
and maybe take a nap.
556
00:44:55,569 --> 00:44:59,031
I can fetch you
some warm herbal tea,
557
00:44:59,072 --> 00:45:01,325
if you think
558
00:45:01,366 --> 00:45:05,120
that might help.
559
00:45:10,667 --> 00:45:13,795
I've got a roach problem now,
560
00:45:13,837 --> 00:45:16,757
and I think I know why.
561
00:45:57,422 --> 00:45:59,216
No.
562
00:45:59,258 --> 00:46:02,511
No, no, no!
563
00:46:02,552 --> 00:46:06,473
No, no.
564
00:46:06,515 --> 00:46:09,685
- Oh, great.
- Hey, doctor?
565
00:46:09,726 --> 00:46:13,272
Doctor, help?
Doctor, help me, please!
566
00:46:13,313 --> 00:46:15,607
Please help me!
Please, it's me, Harlan King!
567
00:46:15,649 --> 00:46:17,526
You said you'd help!
568
00:46:17,567 --> 00:46:19,027
Damn roaches.
569
00:46:22,698 --> 00:46:25,575
Doc?
Doctor? Doc?
570
00:46:25,617 --> 00:46:28,745
It's me, Harlan!
Is that the drug?
571
00:46:28,787 --> 00:46:30,580
What are you doing?
You said you'd help!
572
00:46:30,622 --> 00:46:32,624
No, no, doctor,
please, it's me!
573
00:46:32,666 --> 00:46:35,585
It's me, please!
Help me!
574
00:46:35,627 --> 00:46:39,506
Please, help me!
What are you doing, it's Harlan!
575
00:46:39,548 --> 00:46:42,009
Please, no, no, no, no, no!
576
00:46:42,050 --> 00:46:44,094
No, it's me!
It's me!
577
00:46:44,136 --> 00:46:47,306
- Damn it.
- No, please! Please!
578
00:46:47,347 --> 00:46:50,058
No!
579
00:46:58,984 --> 00:47:01,862
Coming.
580
00:47:01,903 --> 00:47:06,158
Hello, doctor.
Bug problem?
41784
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