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1
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2
00:00:21,008 --> 00:00:25,421
Cherry ripe, Cherry ripe,
3
00:00:25,597 --> 00:00:35,347
ripe I cry fools and fair ones come and buy!
4
00:00:35,439 --> 00:00:44,028
Cherry ripe, Cherry ripe, ripe I cry...
5
00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:51,997
Alice...
6
00:00:52,540 --> 00:00:54,082
what's the matter, child?
7
00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,709
You look as pale as a ghost.
8
00:00:56,669 --> 00:00:58,627
I can't do it, Nanny!
9
00:00:59,213 --> 00:01:02,214
They don't expect you
to sing until after tea...
10
00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:04,382
you've got another half an hour to practice.
11
00:01:04,969 --> 00:01:09,097
And relax... drink a
strong cup of herbal tea...
12
00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:12,141
it's what I used to do when
I was on the boards...
13
00:01:12,226 --> 00:01:14,764
I can't do it. I can't sing.
14
00:01:14,812 --> 00:01:16,473
It's just stage fright...
15
00:01:16,523 --> 00:01:18,265
there's nothing to be afraid of...
16
00:01:18,316 --> 00:01:19,940
I shall be with you...
17
00:01:20,109 --> 00:01:22,517
it's all in the mind, child.
18
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,857
You can't make me sing!
19
00:01:24,947 --> 00:01:27,106
I won't! I won't!
20
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,408
Now, we'll have none of that, young lady.
21
00:01:30,703 --> 00:01:32,743
Everyone's here. Have you seen my...
22
00:01:32,872 --> 00:01:35,542
Mummy, please don't make me sing!
23
00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,293
She's a little nervous, Ma'am.
24
00:01:37,377 --> 00:01:39,203
Perfectly natural... I've seen it often.
25
00:01:39,921 --> 00:01:42,127
Alice, you promised me and your father.
26
00:01:42,215 --> 00:01:44,124
All the guests are so looking forward to it.
27
00:01:44,217 --> 00:01:46,257
It's expected.
28
00:01:46,636 --> 00:01:49,886
Of course, dear, if you really don't want
to your father and I will understand
29
00:01:49,931 --> 00:01:52,422
though we'll be very disappointed.
30
00:01:52,517 --> 00:01:55,767
I don't want to disappoint you and daddy.
31
00:01:56,604 --> 00:01:58,063
Don't worry darling...
32
00:01:58,105 --> 00:02:01,226
I'm sure you'll make us all very proud.
33
00:02:06,448 --> 00:02:08,985
And remember Alice, whatever happens...
34
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:13,328
flood or earthquake... the show must go on.
35
00:02:13,746 --> 00:02:15,953
"Cherry ripe, cherry ripe,
36
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:22,707
ripe I cry... fools and fair
ones come and buy...
37
00:02:22,755 --> 00:02:25,792
Oh what am I going to do, Dinah?
38
00:02:26,008 --> 00:02:29,757
Of all the songs I have
to sing "Cherry Ripe"!
39
00:05:07,421 --> 00:05:11,750
How can they expect me to sing
in front of all these strangers.
40
00:05:43,457 --> 00:05:46,126
I'll go back later when it's all over!
41
00:06:08,148 --> 00:06:10,437
Oh dear, oh!
42
00:06:10,568 --> 00:06:14,102
Oh me! Oh, oh,
43
00:06:15,489 --> 00:06:21,859
oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
44
00:06:21,912 --> 00:06:27,072
I'll be so late! Oooh, Oh me.
45
00:06:32,298 --> 00:06:33,460
Oh dear.
46
00:07:40,867 --> 00:07:45,363
I wonder what Latitude
or Longitude I've got to?
47
00:07:45,663 --> 00:07:49,910
I've no idea what Latitude and
Longitude are, but they're grand words
48
00:07:50,459 --> 00:07:53,829
Longitude and Latitude
49
00:07:59,718 --> 00:08:05,058
Oh my furry ears and whiskers,
look how late it's getting!
50
00:08:12,273 --> 00:08:18,109
Perhaps I fell right through the earth,
and come out the other side...
51
00:08:18,446 --> 00:08:22,111
I shall have to ask somebody
the name of the country...
52
00:08:22,283 --> 00:08:26,067
"Please Ma'am, is this New
Zealand or Australia?"
53
00:08:31,125 --> 00:08:33,118
That's strange...
54
00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:15,367
Now that I'm in, how do I get out?
55
00:10:13,562 --> 00:10:16,182
If only I was smaller...
56
00:10:30,204 --> 00:10:32,741
That wasn't there before,
57
00:10:32,997 --> 00:10:35,785
I wonder if it's alright to drink.
58
00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:38,545
If you drink too much from
a bottle marked poison
59
00:10:38,628 --> 00:10:42,127
it's almost certain to disagree
with you sooner or later.
60
00:10:42,216 --> 00:10:44,671
This bottle's not marked "Poison".
61
00:10:51,933 --> 00:10:53,095
Hmm...
62
00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:17,947
Oh no.
63
00:11:22,756 --> 00:11:25,294
Now what am I supposed to do?
64
00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:45,976
Curiouser and curiouser.
65
00:11:51,035 --> 00:11:57,916
If it makes me grow taller
then I can reach the key...
66
00:11:58,375 --> 00:12:02,787
and if it makes me grow smaller
I can creep under the door...
67
00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:06,631
either way I'll get into the garden!
68
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:33,827
I'm stuck,
69
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,619
I'm stuck. What am I suppose to do?
70
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:42,873
Oh! The Duchess'll be absolutely
savage if I keep her waiting.
71
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:45,452
Please sir, can you help me?!
72
00:12:55,099 --> 00:12:56,926
Are you crying?
73
00:12:58,686 --> 00:12:59,687
Yes.
74
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:07,812
Well, fortunately I speak "crying"
and "sobbing" fluently...
75
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:13,700
but I can't stay...
76
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,572
- I'm late!
- No.
77
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:30,259
Yesterday everything was so normal...
78
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:34,293
Now look at me. I'm huge, and I'm stuck!
79
00:13:40,102 --> 00:13:42,594
I wonder what's making me grow smaller?
80
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:45,348
It must be this fan.
81
00:14:12,134 --> 00:14:13,463
Mr Mouse!
82
00:14:32,154 --> 00:14:33,565
Mr Mouse...
83
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:44,988
Mr Mouse.
84
00:14:48,463 --> 00:14:50,586
How did you know my name, young lady.
85
00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:53,508
You did look like a mouse...
86
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,467
I'm late. Come with me,
87
00:14:55,553 --> 00:15:00,346
I've a very important lecture to
deliver and everyone will be there!
88
00:15:02,977 --> 00:15:08,932
My lectures, my lectures have to be
seen and heard to be depreciated...
89
00:15:09,024 --> 00:15:11,563
of course they divide people...
90
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,446
Last time the whole audience hissed.
91
00:15:14,572 --> 00:15:17,194
Hissed! All except one man.
92
00:15:17,325 --> 00:15:19,234
He was applauding the hissing.
93
00:15:23,331 --> 00:15:27,459
What am I going to talk about?
What am I going to do?
94
00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:33,457
Whatever it is I'll talk about,
you can be sure it isn't new
95
00:15:33,591 --> 00:15:35,548
Not new.
96
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,552
Not new.
97
00:15:41,349 --> 00:15:43,093
I am an English lecturer
98
00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:45,177
The most famous of my time.
99
00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:48,271
Because I stick with the same old words
100
00:15:48,356 --> 00:15:51,890
And never change a line.
101
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,857
Not a line,
102
00:15:55,196 --> 00:16:03,785
not, not a line...
103
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,812
Not a line...
104
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:12,076
My mother couldn't carry a
tune not even if it had handles.
105
00:16:13,423 --> 00:16:15,001
Silly old trout.
106
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,843
A most depressing venue...
107
00:16:28,229 --> 00:16:30,684
The distemper's coming off at the knees...
108
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:38,481
Still the audience look lively enough.
109
00:16:38,739 --> 00:16:39,938
That's the main thing...
110
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,773
I mean they're not dead. Not yet...
111
00:16:43,494 --> 00:16:46,246
What's your name, if
it isn't a rude question?
112
00:16:46,289 --> 00:16:47,451
Alice.
113
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:49,242
Oh well,
114
00:16:49,292 --> 00:16:50,667
that's not your fault...
115
00:16:50,919 --> 00:16:52,710
Err... you're wet!
116
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,172
Sit down...
117
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,873
I'll soon make her dry enough.
118
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:02,214
My lecture is the driest
thing I've ever heard of.
119
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:11,557
Settle down everybody
whilst I clear my throat.
120
00:17:16,277 --> 00:17:17,278
Get on with it!
121
00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:18,524
Walnuts!
122
00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:19,858
Oh well,
123
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,483
now then...
124
00:17:22,993 --> 00:17:24,570
"William the Conqueror,
125
00:17:24,786 --> 00:17:27,490
whose cause was favored by the Pope,
126
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,158
Ooooh...
127
00:17:29,207 --> 00:17:30,405
Did you speak?
128
00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:33,751
I don't think so.
129
00:17:35,171 --> 00:17:40,248
"Edwin and Morcar, the Earls
of Mercia and Northumbria,
130
00:17:40,343 --> 00:17:42,003
declared for him...
131
00:17:42,137 --> 00:17:47,013
and even Stigand, the patriotic
Archbishop of Canterbury
132
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:52,474
found it advisable to go with
Edgar Altheling to meet William
133
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:55,097
and offer him the crown.
134
00:17:55,191 --> 00:17:57,018
How are you getting on now, my dear?
135
00:17:57,485 --> 00:18:01,186
I'm as wet as ever, it doesn't
seem to dry me at all.
136
00:18:01,698 --> 00:18:02,943
Are you sure?
137
00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:06,860
I don't like the sound of it.
138
00:18:06,912 --> 00:18:08,240
None of use do...
139
00:18:08,413 --> 00:18:12,660
in which case I move that
the meeting adjourn...
140
00:18:14,044 --> 00:18:18,088
And we immediately, if not sooner,
141
00:18:18,173 --> 00:18:24,092
adopt more energetic remedies to
facilitate a cure for wetness, per se...
142
00:18:24,179 --> 00:18:25,293
Speak English!
143
00:18:25,389 --> 00:18:29,338
What I was going to say was, ipso facto...
144
00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:35,971
the best thing to get her dry would be...
145
00:18:36,608 --> 00:18:37,889
a caucus-race!
146
00:18:39,277 --> 00:18:40,736
What's a caucus-race?!
147
00:18:41,071 --> 00:18:43,906
A caucus-race! A caucus-race!
148
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,533
What's a caucus-race?
149
00:18:45,617 --> 00:18:47,241
I'll pack a few things!
150
00:18:47,411 --> 00:18:48,442
Now you're talking.
151
00:18:48,537 --> 00:18:51,906
Yes I'm talking, now what's a caucus-race?!
152
00:18:51,957 --> 00:18:57,164
The best way to explain a
caucus-race is - to do it.
153
00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:06,545
On your marks,
154
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,472
get set...
155
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,595
go!
156
00:19:18,775 --> 00:19:20,436
It's a blistering race!
157
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:26,897
An extraordinary display of skill,
determination and sheer stupidity!
158
00:20:00,317 --> 00:20:01,598
They're all cheating!
159
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,479
That's caucus-race!
160
00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:08,026
So perish all enemies of the Tsar!
161
00:20:08,117 --> 00:20:10,572
And there's more where that came from!
162
00:20:10,619 --> 00:20:12,446
So you think I'm a cheat do you?!
163
00:20:12,538 --> 00:20:14,246
No just deformed.
164
00:20:14,331 --> 00:20:17,866
No man calls me deformed
unless he's certified!
165
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,285
Look! Look... the finishing post!
166
00:20:20,837 --> 00:20:21,916
Who's won?!
167
00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:24,122
Who's won?!
168
00:20:24,383 --> 00:20:27,586
I vouchsafe that everybody won...
169
00:20:27,636 --> 00:20:29,676
and that we must all have prizes.
170
00:20:30,889 --> 00:20:32,633
Who's going to give the prizes?!
171
00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:35,595
Why, Alice of course!
172
00:20:39,648 --> 00:20:40,649
Um...
173
00:20:42,318 --> 00:20:43,432
Ha!
174
00:21:05,967 --> 00:21:10,961
I think it's time we were all in
bed with a cup of hot chocolate.
175
00:21:11,097 --> 00:21:13,422
Indubitably!
176
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:19,521
Wait.
177
00:21:19,856 --> 00:21:21,480
Where are you all going.
178
00:21:22,149 --> 00:21:23,181
Wait!
179
00:21:34,453 --> 00:21:35,568
Oh the Duchess!
180
00:21:35,663 --> 00:21:37,038
Oh the Duchess!
181
00:21:37,123 --> 00:21:40,242
Oh, my sweet paws. Oh my fur and whiskers!
182
00:21:40,292 --> 00:21:43,876
She'll get me executed as
sure as ferrets are ferrets.
183
00:21:43,921 --> 00:21:45,415
Oh what've you lost, sir?
184
00:21:45,506 --> 00:21:47,582
A pair of white kid gloves and a fan.
185
00:21:47,842 --> 00:21:49,300
Oh... I'll help you find them.
186
00:21:49,677 --> 00:21:52,132
Hm hm, what are you doing here?!
187
00:21:52,471 --> 00:21:55,342
I'm trying to get into the beautiful garden.
188
00:21:55,391 --> 00:21:58,345
Run home and fetch me another
pair of gloves and a fan!
189
00:21:58,770 --> 00:21:59,884
Quick!
190
00:22:03,482 --> 00:22:05,475
He's treating me as if I'm his housemaid!
191
00:22:10,615 --> 00:22:12,987
Frederick Rabbit's house!
192
00:22:55,743 --> 00:22:57,866
He lives very well for a rabbit.
193
00:22:59,038 --> 00:23:01,660
Some of these things must be priceless...
194
00:23:02,709 --> 00:23:04,748
or even more expensive.
195
00:23:16,723 --> 00:23:20,388
It doesn't say "Drink
Me" like the other bottle.
196
00:23:25,398 --> 00:23:28,849
I'm sure it'll make something
interesting happen.
197
00:23:30,194 --> 00:23:33,729
I just hope it makes me grow large again.
198
00:23:39,078 --> 00:23:40,738
Err - that's enough!
199
00:24:12,404 --> 00:24:15,274
Oh dear - what am I going to do?!
200
00:24:15,490 --> 00:24:16,521
Oh, dear!
201
00:24:16,908 --> 00:24:17,987
Hm...
202
00:24:20,703 --> 00:24:21,704
It's stuck.
203
00:24:25,083 --> 00:24:27,656
I'll try the back window.
204
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,256
Wah!
205
00:24:33,383 --> 00:24:36,882
Uh - oh...
206
00:24:37,137 --> 00:24:40,257
Pat! Pat!
207
00:24:40,848 --> 00:24:42,758
I'm here, your honour, I'm here.
208
00:24:43,018 --> 00:24:45,555
I was er, out the front digging for apples...
209
00:24:46,188 --> 00:24:51,727
Ah, for sure, it's a dewy dawn when the larks
on the wing and the snail's on the horn.
210
00:24:51,818 --> 00:24:54,938
What? Oh not now, Pat...
just help me out of this.
211
00:24:55,238 --> 00:24:57,314
Alright, come on, up come on.
212
00:24:57,407 --> 00:24:58,735
Lets have you.
213
00:24:58,825 --> 00:25:02,325
Oh, oh no. That won't do the
vegetables any good, your honour.
214
00:25:02,370 --> 00:25:04,493
Why're we growing cucumbers, Pat?
215
00:25:04,581 --> 00:25:06,490
Because they're green, your worship.
216
00:25:06,583 --> 00:25:10,533
I thought so... Now tell me,
Pat, what's that in the window?
217
00:25:11,588 --> 00:25:13,248
Let's have a look. Hang on a sec.
218
00:25:15,508 --> 00:25:16,837
That's an arm your worship!
219
00:25:16,927 --> 00:25:20,296
An arm! Whoever saw an arm that size?
220
00:25:20,388 --> 00:25:22,132
No-one, but sure, it's still an arm.
221
00:25:22,182 --> 00:25:24,934
Well it's no business there... remove it!
222
00:25:25,393 --> 00:25:26,307
Me, your worship?
223
00:25:26,394 --> 00:25:28,719
Yes, you. Are you a coward?
224
00:25:28,814 --> 00:25:30,308
Oh no, not at all...
225
00:25:30,357 --> 00:25:33,192
I might have coward's legs but
the rest of me's brave as a lion.
226
00:25:33,276 --> 00:25:35,234
There's nothing to be afraid of.
227
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,518
Well then you do it!
228
00:25:36,613 --> 00:25:39,530
I'm too rich, I can't afford to die.
229
00:25:42,285 --> 00:25:44,907
Will somebody please help me?
230
00:25:44,997 --> 00:25:47,368
I'm stuck!
231
00:25:47,582 --> 00:25:48,863
I'm stuck!
232
00:25:52,212 --> 00:25:56,257
Why won't anyone help
me? I can't do it by myself!
233
00:25:56,341 --> 00:25:58,629
Why do you keep failing
like that. Your honour?
234
00:25:58,719 --> 00:26:00,094
I like it!
235
00:26:00,137 --> 00:26:02,675
- Oh help me up.
- Oh, right so.
236
00:26:02,765 --> 00:26:05,090
Here take me right hand, there we go...
237
00:26:05,142 --> 00:26:07,348
No that... That's me right hand!
238
00:26:07,435 --> 00:26:09,511
Oooo, ooo. Bill!
239
00:26:10,230 --> 00:26:11,060
Hello!
240
00:26:11,148 --> 00:26:12,310
You're needed, lad!
241
00:26:12,941 --> 00:26:14,222
What's the matter, sirs?
242
00:26:14,317 --> 00:26:17,069
The Master's got a
terrible case of the 'falls'!
243
00:26:18,238 --> 00:26:19,269
Get a ladder!
244
00:26:19,657 --> 00:26:21,032
Oh! Right.
245
00:26:27,289 --> 00:26:29,080
Now be careful with the ladder, lad
246
00:26:29,166 --> 00:26:31,622
You might... hit... Oh!
247
00:26:31,710 --> 00:26:32,742
Oh...
248
00:26:32,836 --> 00:26:33,915
Sorry sir!
249
00:26:34,004 --> 00:26:37,289
Oh. Put the ladder up against the house.
250
00:26:37,382 --> 00:26:40,834
Oh, yes, yes that's good.
251
00:26:40,928 --> 00:26:42,588
Now climb up.
252
00:26:42,971 --> 00:26:43,802
What for?
253
00:26:43,889 --> 00:26:48,349
You've got to get on the roof, slide down
the chimney and see who's in the house.
254
00:26:48,435 --> 00:26:49,217
Why?
255
00:26:49,269 --> 00:26:52,140
Because I can't get through
the door or windows.
256
00:26:52,189 --> 00:26:54,395
Ah now sir, that's a mighty clever idea.
257
00:26:54,483 --> 00:26:56,690
But you see, I've got a
bad back for chimneys.
258
00:26:56,777 --> 00:26:58,235
I inherited it from my mother.
259
00:26:58,278 --> 00:27:00,271
We've always had terrible
backs for chimneys!
260
00:27:00,363 --> 00:27:02,403
Oh you do it, Bill!
261
00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:03,231
Who me?
262
00:27:03,283 --> 00:27:04,564
Yes you!
263
00:27:04,660 --> 00:27:06,818
Oh... alright then.
264
00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:12,031
Quick. Hurry!
265
00:27:22,803 --> 00:27:25,970
Now careful, Bill, there's a loose
slate up there somewhere.
266
00:27:27,516 --> 00:27:30,137
Ah, good man, you've found it!
267
00:27:37,275 --> 00:27:41,107
Pat, tell him to climb down the chimney.
268
00:27:41,154 --> 00:27:41,985
Bill.
269
00:27:42,072 --> 00:27:42,772
Ow.
270
00:27:42,823 --> 00:27:44,068
...climb down the chimney!
271
00:28:02,718 --> 00:28:04,261
He shouldn't do that?!
272
00:28:06,472 --> 00:28:09,805
Not down the chimney... don't try it!
273
00:28:19,402 --> 00:28:21,560
Ya-hoo!
274
00:28:21,695 --> 00:28:22,696
There goes Bill.
275
00:28:23,947 --> 00:28:27,447
Oh. Oh dear.
276
00:28:28,786 --> 00:28:31,455
Bill! Bill! What happened, lad?
277
00:28:31,664 --> 00:28:33,952
Hold up his head... here's brandy
278
00:28:34,167 --> 00:28:35,826
Ah thank you, your worship
279
00:28:35,918 --> 00:28:37,496
Not you!
280
00:28:37,753 --> 00:28:41,087
Ah sorry, purely
medicinal, runs in the family.
281
00:28:41,174 --> 00:28:42,454
What happened, Bill?
282
00:28:42,925 --> 00:28:44,799
Well something comes at me,
283
00:28:45,053 --> 00:28:50,758
like a Jack-in-the-box, and then
up I goes like a sky-rocket.
284
00:28:50,849 --> 00:28:53,139
Spoken like a true Irishman, Bill.
285
00:28:53,227 --> 00:28:54,935
I don't like the look of this.
286
00:28:54,978 --> 00:28:56,521
There's nothing for it!
287
00:28:56,564 --> 00:28:59,185
We must burn down the house!
288
00:28:59,233 --> 00:29:00,478
Good thinking, your worship.
289
00:29:00,568 --> 00:29:02,939
Would you like me to sing
some melodies of Old Ireland?
290
00:29:03,029 --> 00:29:06,563
No, just burn down the house!
291
00:29:06,657 --> 00:29:08,068
Oh, no you don't!
292
00:29:08,617 --> 00:29:11,571
You're not burning down
this house while I'm inside!
293
00:29:15,416 --> 00:29:18,287
Ha ha. A barrow full should do!
294
00:29:23,049 --> 00:29:26,713
Ready, aim...
295
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:27,761
Fire!
296
00:29:30,639 --> 00:29:35,136
Ah, stop it. You'd better not do that again!
297
00:29:48,908 --> 00:29:49,909
Hmm.
298
00:29:51,619 --> 00:29:53,778
They're not real pebbles
299
00:29:53,913 --> 00:29:56,664
They're soft like sponge cakes...
300
00:30:34,495 --> 00:30:37,912
Now I must go and find that lovely garden.
301
00:30:38,291 --> 00:30:40,617
No one will think of looking for me there.
302
00:30:42,503 --> 00:30:45,338
Everything seems different from down here.
303
00:30:45,799 --> 00:30:47,423
I have to keep looking up.
304
00:30:49,218 --> 00:30:52,967
I'm sure little people must
get very bad neck strain.
305
00:30:53,472 --> 00:30:55,881
It's enough to make a cat bark.
306
00:30:57,518 --> 00:30:59,345
I used to read fairy tales,
307
00:30:59,437 --> 00:31:02,557
I never thought I would end
up in the middle of one.
308
00:31:03,567 --> 00:31:05,643
There ought to be a book written about me.
309
00:31:06,485 --> 00:31:08,894
Maybe when I grow up I'll write one.
310
00:32:49,839 --> 00:32:51,121
Sir.
311
00:32:52,050 --> 00:32:54,719
Sir, who do I have the honour of addressing?
312
00:32:55,137 --> 00:32:57,462
Major Caterpillar, ribbon and bar...
313
00:32:57,556 --> 00:32:59,383
Late of "Her Majesty's Foot and Light"...
314
00:32:59,474 --> 00:33:02,047
A true son of England and it's flag what...
315
00:33:05,814 --> 00:33:06,815
Who're you?
316
00:33:07,816 --> 00:33:09,725
I don't really know.
317
00:33:09,859 --> 00:33:11,733
If you don't, I don't!
318
00:33:12,029 --> 00:33:14,069
I know who I was this morning
319
00:33:14,156 --> 00:33:17,240
but I think I've been changed
several times since then.
320
00:33:17,326 --> 00:33:20,741
Explain yourself or you'll
find yourself on a charge.
321
00:33:20,996 --> 00:33:27,165
Well, I can't explain myself, sir,
because I'm not myself, you see.
322
00:33:27,211 --> 00:33:28,669
No, I don't see.
323
00:33:29,463 --> 00:33:32,333
Everyone should be the
right size, shouldn't they.
324
00:33:32,632 --> 00:33:37,010
But I've been so many different
sizes in one day it's very confusing.
325
00:33:37,096 --> 00:33:38,376
Why?
326
00:33:38,430 --> 00:33:41,348
Well, if you were to change...
327
00:33:41,433 --> 00:33:45,431
into a butterfly say you'd find
it quite strange, wouldn't you?
328
00:33:45,479 --> 00:33:47,887
Not a bit of it! Nothing's strange to me!
329
00:33:47,982 --> 00:33:50,058
I don't think you should
talk to me like that.
330
00:33:50,109 --> 00:33:50,772
Like what?
331
00:33:50,859 --> 00:33:52,235
In short sentences.
332
00:33:52,444 --> 00:33:54,069
Oh, ah a ooo-
333
00:33:54,113 --> 00:33:56,865
All I know is that it's very disturbing,
334
00:33:56,949 --> 00:33:59,025
sometimes I start crying.
335
00:33:59,118 --> 00:33:59,817
Why?
336
00:33:59,910 --> 00:34:02,864
Because I don't remember
things like I used to
337
00:34:02,913 --> 00:34:05,998
and I can't keep the same
size for ten minutes together.
338
00:34:06,083 --> 00:34:07,577
That's a rum do.
339
00:34:07,626 --> 00:34:09,500
I'd keep an eye on it if I were you...
340
00:34:09,586 --> 00:34:11,709
Can't remember what things exactly?
341
00:34:11,755 --> 00:34:13,297
Songs and poems.
342
00:34:13,340 --> 00:34:16,507
Gad, it's worse than having a beri-beri.
343
00:34:16,551 --> 00:34:22,139
Umm, recite "You Are Old, Father William".
344
00:34:22,307 --> 00:34:26,139
Stand up, girl... you can't sing
or recite without standing up.
345
00:34:26,228 --> 00:34:28,055
Well that's just it... I don't want to!
346
00:34:28,147 --> 00:34:29,725
No, no elbows all wrong.
347
00:34:29,815 --> 00:34:31,357
Tuck'em in! Tuck'em in!
348
00:34:31,441 --> 00:34:33,517
Good! Try and keep in tune!
349
00:34:37,489 --> 00:34:40,443
"You are old, Father
William", the Young Man said
350
00:34:40,534 --> 00:34:43,025
"And your hair has become very white;
351
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:47,449
And yet you incessantly stand on your head.
352
00:34:47,499 --> 00:34:51,747
Do you think, at your
age, this is right?" Hmm?
353
00:34:55,007 --> 00:35:00,250
I don't know if you were trying for the
"Paganini Variations" for voice and trumpet,
354
00:35:00,345 --> 00:35:02,338
but you missed five verses.
355
00:35:02,472 --> 00:35:04,798
Some of the words did get a little altered.
356
00:35:04,892 --> 00:35:08,177
Young lady, it was wrong
from beginning to end.
357
00:35:08,228 --> 00:35:10,980
And you can't get wronger than that!
358
00:35:11,065 --> 00:35:14,516
I'm afraid that's what always
happens when I have to perform!
359
00:35:14,860 --> 00:35:18,609
You mustn't be afraid, that's
worse than not remembering.
360
00:35:18,739 --> 00:35:20,198
Oh... dear!
361
00:35:20,282 --> 00:35:21,693
What size do you want to be?!
362
00:35:21,742 --> 00:35:23,534
Speak up! Speak up!
363
00:35:23,744 --> 00:35:25,155
I don't care about the size,
364
00:35:25,204 --> 00:35:28,489
just so long as I'm not changing
all the time, you know.
365
00:35:28,541 --> 00:35:29,739
No, I don't know.
366
00:35:29,834 --> 00:35:32,205
There you go again with short sentences!
367
00:35:32,294 --> 00:35:35,046
There you go, losing your temper.
368
00:35:35,130 --> 00:35:37,088
It's against Queens Regulations!
369
00:35:37,174 --> 00:35:39,048
Do you like your size right now?
370
00:35:39,134 --> 00:35:42,586
I'd like to be little taller...
this is a terrible height to be.
371
00:35:42,638 --> 00:35:45,592
Terrible?! Gad, woah!
372
00:35:46,308 --> 00:35:51,979
One side will make you taller and
the other side will make you shorter.
373
00:35:52,022 --> 00:35:53,980
One side of what?
374
00:35:56,151 --> 00:35:57,397
The mushroom...
375
00:35:58,446 --> 00:36:00,189
that's what it's there for...
376
00:36:01,616 --> 00:36:05,530
everything has a purpose even here.
377
00:36:06,746 --> 00:36:08,454
Thank you, Major.
378
00:36:08,539 --> 00:36:11,624
Ha ha ha ha ha...
379
00:36:25,806 --> 00:36:28,558
One side makes me taller.
380
00:36:38,361 --> 00:36:41,481
The other side will make me shorter.
381
00:36:51,207 --> 00:36:53,532
I wonder which one is which.
382
00:37:01,217 --> 00:37:02,415
Mmmm...
383
00:37:13,854 --> 00:37:18,481
I think I'll keep these, they
may come in handy later.
384
00:37:20,778 --> 00:37:22,901
That looks respectable,
385
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,359
I wonder if they'll be able
to give me directions...
386
00:37:44,802 --> 00:37:49,963
For the Duchess, an invitation
from the Queen to play croquet.
387
00:37:50,058 --> 00:37:53,841
From the Queen, an invitation
for the Duchess to play croquet.
388
00:37:53,979 --> 00:37:59,483
An invitation to play croquet,
from the Queen, for the Duchess.
389
00:38:01,444 --> 00:38:02,902
I've got the gist.
390
00:38:03,821 --> 00:38:04,822
Are you sure?
391
00:38:04,906 --> 00:38:09,817
Yes, it's an invitation from the Queen
for the Duchess to play croquet.
392
00:38:10,661 --> 00:38:16,616
Hm, I wouldn't put it quite like
that, but it'll have to do I suppose.
393
00:38:45,989 --> 00:38:47,816
It's no good you knocking like that.
394
00:38:49,367 --> 00:38:50,647
Why not?
395
00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:52,612
Two good reasons.
396
00:38:52,788 --> 00:38:57,165
One, because I'm on the same
side of the door as you...
397
00:38:58,168 --> 00:38:59,543
Oh yes.
398
00:38:59,669 --> 00:39:04,663
Two, they're making so much
noise inside, no-one can hear you.
399
00:39:05,091 --> 00:39:07,380
But how am I going to get inside?
400
00:39:07,468 --> 00:39:09,342
That is the question.
401
00:39:09,637 --> 00:39:15,142
The problem. You might even
say, the conundrum or riddle.
402
00:39:15,226 --> 00:39:17,018
Yes, I might.
403
00:39:17,103 --> 00:39:20,472
There'd be some sense in you
knocking if we had a door between us.
404
00:39:21,232 --> 00:39:25,646
I could go and get a spare door
but that would take too long.
405
00:39:26,112 --> 00:39:28,604
On the other hand, if you
were inside the house,
406
00:39:28,699 --> 00:39:31,367
you could knock, and I could let you out...
407
00:39:37,207 --> 00:39:38,487
Knock, knock...
408
00:39:39,167 --> 00:39:41,575
This way out, Madame.
409
00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:46,455
But I don't want to go out, I want to go in!
410
00:39:46,758 --> 00:39:51,835
Of course, but if you did want
to go out it'd be much easier.
411
00:39:53,890 --> 00:39:58,517
Meanwhile, I'm going to
sit here until tomorrow.
412
00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:03,474
Or the next day perhaps,
413
00:40:04,150 --> 00:40:06,273
or even for a whole week,
414
00:40:07,821 --> 00:40:10,312
then I can come back by popular demand.
415
00:40:12,033 --> 00:40:14,785
But how am I supposed to get inside?
416
00:40:15,036 --> 00:40:16,994
I need to ask them a question.
417
00:40:17,372 --> 00:40:20,576
Will you ever get in, is the
question you should be asking?
418
00:40:20,792 --> 00:40:24,707
I'm going to sit here for days
thinking about it and singing
419
00:40:25,422 --> 00:40:27,877
"Coming Through the Rye".
420
00:40:28,634 --> 00:40:34,423
Dee da dada dar dee dar
da dar dee dar dee dar dum
421
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:38,554
It's no use talking to you!
I'll just have to do it myself.
422
00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:40,518
That's the spirit!
423
00:40:48,069 --> 00:40:49,070
Pepper!
424
00:40:49,863 --> 00:40:51,655
I want pepper!
425
00:40:54,951 --> 00:41:00,028
Pepper! More pepper...
426
00:41:01,958 --> 00:41:05,245
More pepper!
427
00:41:07,088 --> 00:41:11,086
More pepper!
428
00:41:20,101 --> 00:41:23,720
Please could you tell me why your
cat is grinning at me like that?
429
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,355
He's a Cheshire-Cat.
430
00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:28,730
Cheshire-Cat's always grin.
431
00:41:29,361 --> 00:41:30,938
Isn't that so, Piggy?
432
00:41:35,701 --> 00:41:38,904
I didn't know Cheshire-Cats always grinned.
433
00:41:38,995 --> 00:41:42,116
In fact I didn't know cats could grin.
434
00:41:42,249 --> 00:41:44,657
Uh ho, well you don't know
very much then do you.
435
00:41:44,751 --> 00:41:46,032
Isn't that so Piggy!
436
00:41:50,424 --> 00:41:51,799
Are you really a Duchess?
437
00:41:54,886 --> 00:41:55,918
Every inch!
438
00:41:56,722 --> 00:42:01,964
Pepper! Pepper! Pepper!
439
00:42:04,646 --> 00:42:07,316
Be careful! You almost
hit his poor little nose!
440
00:42:07,483 --> 00:42:08,681
Nonsense!
441
00:42:08,734 --> 00:42:12,778
He can already play "Three
Blind Mice" on his nose-flute!
442
00:42:15,616 --> 00:42:17,110
What do you want little Miss?!
443
00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:19,401
I want to know how to get into the garden?
444
00:42:19,495 --> 00:42:21,866
Oh - now you're talking,
445
00:42:22,206 --> 00:42:24,448
but I prefer singing to talking, don't you?
446
00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:25,745
Let's have a song.
447
00:42:26,877 --> 00:42:31,539
"Speak roughly to the little boy,
448
00:42:31,673 --> 00:42:36,252
And beat him when he sneezes.
449
00:42:36,345 --> 00:42:39,512
He only does it to annoy.
450
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:44,681
Because he knows it teases."
451
00:43:02,496 --> 00:43:06,328
"I speak severely to my boy,
452
00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:10,249
I beat him when he sneezes.
453
00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:19,010
For he can thoroughly enjoy
the pepper when he pleases"
454
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:43,696
Here you nurse for a bit...
455
00:43:44,246 --> 00:43:46,286
I've got an appointment... can't wait.
456
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:52,535
Pepper! More pepper!
457
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,203
I best get you out of here.
They're sure to kill you!
458
00:43:55,507 --> 00:44:00,799
More pepper! Pepper!
459
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:07,174
I thought you wanted to go in?
460
00:44:07,269 --> 00:44:08,812
I've been in... now I'm coming out.
461
00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:14,022
Life is so complicated!
462
00:44:16,488 --> 00:44:20,781
You mustn't grunt like that. You
sounds as if you've turned into a pig.
463
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:28,406
You have turned into a pig!
464
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:30,619
I'd best let you go.
465
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:37,341
Go on.
466
00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:40,427
When he gets older he'll
make a very ugly child...
467
00:44:40,512 --> 00:44:42,338
or a very handsome pig...
468
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,761
Now which way?
469
00:44:54,776 --> 00:44:56,484
Ah!
470
00:44:57,236 --> 00:45:00,487
Cheshire-Puss, can you
tell me which way to go?
471
00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:03,575
Well that depends on
where you want to get to.
472
00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:04,911
The garden!
473
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:06,453
Why do you want to go there?
474
00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:08,121
It looks safe.
475
00:45:08,164 --> 00:45:12,376
Sometimes things that
look safe turn out nasty...
476
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:15,580
and things that look nasty turn out safe.
477
00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:17,249
That's immoral.
478
00:45:18,966 --> 00:45:21,718
What sort of people live around here?
479
00:45:21,969 --> 00:45:25,304
Well a Hatter lives over there.
480
00:45:25,682 --> 00:45:28,089
Follow my pointed paw.
481
00:45:36,234 --> 00:45:41,525
And a gentleman called Hare
nicknamed March lives there.
482
00:45:41,781 --> 00:45:43,987
They're probably having a tea party.
483
00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:45,182
They're both mad.
484
00:45:45,202 --> 00:45:46,141
They're both mad.
But I don't want to meet mad people.
485
00:45:46,162 --> 00:45:47,655
But I don't want to meet mad people.
486
00:45:47,704 --> 00:45:50,456
Oh, but you can't help it,
everyone here is mad.
487
00:45:50,540 --> 00:45:53,292
I'm mad, you're mad.
488
00:45:53,376 --> 00:45:56,579
It's only by chance and
careful planning if you're not.
489
00:45:56,671 --> 00:45:58,580
How do you know I'm mad?
490
00:45:58,798 --> 00:46:00,341
Because you're here!
491
00:46:00,467 --> 00:46:03,088
And everyone here is mad.
492
00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:08,550
I went to a Hunt Ball
once, I didn't like it...
493
00:46:08,891 --> 00:46:12,427
Terrible people. They all started hunting me!
494
00:46:12,645 --> 00:46:14,852
Hm... Life must be hard for you?
495
00:46:14,939 --> 00:46:16,731
But I grin a bear it...
496
00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:20,942
By-the-by, what became of the baby?
497
00:46:21,404 --> 00:46:24,405
It turned into a pig.
498
00:46:24,616 --> 00:46:29,325
I knew it would, it's the same
with crows and moor-hens.
499
00:46:32,749 --> 00:46:35,454
Did you say "pig" or "fig"?
500
00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:37,745
I said "pig".
501
00:46:37,879 --> 00:46:41,295
And I wish you wouldn't keep appearing
and disappearing so suddenly.
502
00:46:41,341 --> 00:46:43,001
You're making me very dizzy!
503
00:46:43,843 --> 00:46:46,630
So sorry... is this better?
504
00:46:56,564 --> 00:46:58,438
Which way shall you go?
505
00:46:58,525 --> 00:47:00,268
Which path shall you take?
506
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:03,860
If you don't take any
you will make a mistake.
507
00:47:03,906 --> 00:47:05,696
Which way shall you go?
508
00:47:05,782 --> 00:47:07,525
Which path shall you take?
509
00:47:07,617 --> 00:47:12,196
You have to move on though
you tremble and quake...
510
00:47:13,665 --> 00:47:18,541
Hmm the Cheshire Cat was
right. They are having tea.
511
00:47:19,671 --> 00:47:22,162
I wonder if they'd mind if I joined them?
512
00:47:25,302 --> 00:47:27,673
Have you any more food down there, Dormy?
513
00:47:27,846 --> 00:47:30,847
Any spoilt sandwiches or strawberries?
514
00:47:30,933 --> 00:47:33,304
I love strawberries, don't you? Aha ha ha ha.
515
00:47:33,393 --> 00:47:35,551
I'm sure he's hoarding them!
516
00:47:35,645 --> 00:47:36,808
Oh haw haw haw...
517
00:47:36,897 --> 00:47:40,017
I'm lost... could I... get
518
00:47:40,108 --> 00:47:41,519
No room.
519
00:47:41,609 --> 00:47:43,021
There's no room.
520
00:47:44,612 --> 00:47:46,486
There's plenty of room.
521
00:47:47,449 --> 00:47:50,700
Why didn't you report this sooner, Hatty?
522
00:47:50,828 --> 00:47:52,321
I overslept.
523
00:47:52,830 --> 00:47:54,988
Why're you here?
524
00:47:55,082 --> 00:47:57,834
Well, I've been looking for
the pretty garden all day...
525
00:47:57,876 --> 00:47:59,703
and now I'm tired, and hungry.
526
00:47:59,795 --> 00:48:01,788
Oh, that's different.
527
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,584
We've been eating for hours.
528
00:48:04,675 --> 00:48:05,837
And we've not finished yet.
529
00:48:07,010 --> 00:48:10,296
Waiter, waiter, there's a hair in my soup!
530
00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:13,389
Is it blonde? We're missing a waitress.
531
00:48:22,735 --> 00:48:25,521
Have some wine!
532
00:48:25,738 --> 00:48:28,228
I don't see any wine.
533
00:48:28,490 --> 00:48:31,064
There isn't any and you're too young.
534
00:48:31,326 --> 00:48:33,864
Then it wasn't very nice of you to offer it.
535
00:48:33,912 --> 00:48:37,957
It wasn't very nice of you to
sit down without an invitation.
536
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,333
This is a private soiree.
537
00:48:41,419 --> 00:48:43,662
Well I suppose I should've just barged in.
538
00:48:43,756 --> 00:48:48,501
I know I wasn't invited but the table
was laid out for a lot of people.
539
00:48:48,594 --> 00:48:51,465
My response to that is both
profound a meaningful.
540
00:48:51,722 --> 00:48:53,264
Get your hair cut!
541
00:48:58,604 --> 00:49:01,522
You shouldn't make personal
remarks, it's very rude.
542
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:06,733
I didn't know that. Personal
remarks are rude?
543
00:49:06,779 --> 00:49:07,810
Hm hmm.
544
00:49:07,988 --> 00:49:10,194
E'gad, you learn something new everyday.
545
00:49:10,323 --> 00:49:13,574
Make a note of that, Marchy,
it might come in useful.
546
00:49:14,119 --> 00:49:16,990
Now I have one for you...
547
00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:21,082
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
548
00:49:21,794 --> 00:49:24,284
Why is a raven...?
549
00:49:24,422 --> 00:49:26,248
I'm not talking to you...
550
00:49:26,382 --> 00:49:29,300
Why not, aren't I good enough?
551
00:49:29,343 --> 00:49:31,466
You've heard it before.
552
00:49:31,554 --> 00:49:34,757
But you were looking at me when
you said "Why is a raven...?"
553
00:49:34,807 --> 00:49:36,182
I'm asking Alice!
554
00:49:38,811 --> 00:49:45,608
Um, why is raven like a writing desk.
555
00:49:45,693 --> 00:49:48,563
You know - I'm pretty sure I can guess.
556
00:49:48,821 --> 00:49:52,818
You mean you think you know the answer?
557
00:49:53,451 --> 00:49:54,281
Yes.
558
00:49:54,410 --> 00:49:56,237
Then you should say what you mean.
559
00:49:57,246 --> 00:50:00,116
Well I do... at... at least...
560
00:50:00,291 --> 00:50:01,950
At least I mean what I say...
561
00:50:02,042 --> 00:50:03,537
That... that is the same thing.
562
00:50:03,586 --> 00:50:05,495
It's not the same thing at all.
563
00:50:05,588 --> 00:50:10,215
You might as well say "I see what I eat"
is the same thing as "I eat what I see"
564
00:50:11,219 --> 00:50:17,387
You might as well say "I like
what I get" as "I get what I like."
565
00:50:18,392 --> 00:50:19,424
Ahhh! Oh!
566
00:50:19,518 --> 00:50:21,179
You or you might as well say
567
00:50:21,270 --> 00:50:28,648
"I breathe when I asleep" is the same
thing as "I sleep when I breathe."
568
00:50:28,861 --> 00:50:30,486
Well it is the same with you!
569
00:50:31,114 --> 00:50:35,740
No no, oh I need some sleep.
570
00:50:35,826 --> 00:50:36,988
Clean cups!
571
00:50:41,749 --> 00:50:45,201
Time marches on it's stomach! Ah ha ha ha.
572
00:50:46,045 --> 00:50:48,370
It's an army that marches on its stomach.
573
00:50:50,008 --> 00:50:53,174
Odd sort of army, marching on it's stomach.
574
00:50:53,386 --> 00:50:55,627
I don't like the idea. Yuck!
575
00:50:56,389 --> 00:50:57,799
What day of month is it?
576
00:50:58,599 --> 00:50:59,346
The fourth.
577
00:50:59,433 --> 00:51:01,391
Ah-ah! Two days wrong!
578
00:51:01,519 --> 00:51:03,890
I told you not to use butter.
579
00:51:04,147 --> 00:51:07,811
- It was the best butter.
- Danish.
580
00:51:07,900 --> 00:51:10,937
Some crumbs must've got into it as well...
581
00:51:11,029 --> 00:51:14,896
I said, "don't put butter in the
works with a bread knife".
582
00:51:15,033 --> 00:51:18,034
I couldn't put it in with a fork could I?
583
00:51:18,119 --> 00:51:19,529
Here, let me see.
584
00:51:19,913 --> 00:51:23,744
I don't want to give it to you - but I will.
585
00:51:27,128 --> 00:51:27,708
Ohh!
586
00:51:27,795 --> 00:51:29,124
Ahhgh!
587
00:51:30,131 --> 00:51:34,378
I don't understand it...
it was the best butter.
588
00:51:34,468 --> 00:51:35,666
Danish.
589
00:51:38,973 --> 00:51:40,348
That's a funny watch.
590
00:51:41,142 --> 00:51:43,929
It tells the day of the
month but not the time.
591
00:51:44,603 --> 00:51:47,723
Why should it... does your
watch tell you what year it is?
592
00:51:48,649 --> 00:51:51,057
No. Because it stays a year for so long.
593
00:51:51,194 --> 00:51:52,604
Oh well then I rest my case.
594
00:51:52,736 --> 00:51:53,737
Where?
595
00:51:53,822 --> 00:51:54,823
There!
596
00:51:58,284 --> 00:51:59,694
I know when I'm beaten.
597
00:52:00,745 --> 00:52:04,244
Oh look. Mr Dormouse is asleep again.
598
00:52:05,917 --> 00:52:08,835
It tells you a lot about your conversation...
599
00:52:09,128 --> 00:52:11,121
Sparkle, Miss, sparkle!
600
00:52:11,297 --> 00:52:12,756
Of course, of course,
601
00:52:12,841 --> 00:52:16,708
I was just going to say that myself... I'm...
602
00:52:16,803 --> 00:52:18,843
I'm asleep... again...
603
00:52:21,557 --> 00:52:24,428
Have you guessed the
riddle about the raven yet?
604
00:52:24,602 --> 00:52:27,271
Um hmm no, I give up... what's the answer?
605
00:52:27,355 --> 00:52:29,478
I haven't the slightest idea.
606
00:52:29,565 --> 00:52:31,108
Nor me.
607
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,341
I think you should all do
something better with the time
608
00:52:33,361 --> 00:52:36,231
than wasting it on asking stupid riddles.
609
00:52:36,322 --> 00:52:40,652
If you knew Time the way I do, you
wouldn't talk about wasting "it".
610
00:52:40,702 --> 00:52:42,778
Time is a "him".
611
00:52:42,829 --> 00:52:45,117
"It" isn't polite.
612
00:52:45,206 --> 00:52:47,163
I don't know what you mean.
613
00:52:47,208 --> 00:52:48,833
Of course you don't!
614
00:52:48,918 --> 00:52:51,290
Because you've never
spoken to Time have you?
615
00:52:51,838 --> 00:52:53,380
Well I have.
616
00:52:53,548 --> 00:52:56,335
We used to be very good friends...
617
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:00,804
We served the Empire, in many a distant
post before they all got woodworm.
618
00:53:01,598 --> 00:53:04,267
But we quarreled last March...
619
00:53:05,519 --> 00:53:07,392
just before he went mad.
620
00:53:07,562 --> 00:53:09,056
Flatterer!
621
00:53:09,147 --> 00:53:12,101
It was at the great concert
given by the Queen of Hearts!
622
00:53:12,191 --> 00:53:15,608
Quick, stop him, he's
going to sing... too late!
623
00:53:15,695 --> 00:53:18,483
Thank you ladies and gentlemen.
How terribly sweet of you.
624
00:53:19,533 --> 00:53:24,989
And now for a little encore I'd like to a
song entitled "Auntie's Wooden Leg".
625
00:53:25,038 --> 00:53:27,077
Maestro, if you please...
626
00:53:30,877 --> 00:53:34,957
"Oh Auntie's wooden
leg, Auntie's wooden leg.
627
00:53:35,006 --> 00:53:38,838
We'll paint it red and call
it Fred or Ned or Ted.
628
00:53:38,968 --> 00:53:42,753
Oh, Auntie's wooden leg.
Auntie's wooden leg.
629
00:53:42,806 --> 00:53:48,595
Everybody said it was well and truly
dead, oh Auntie's wooden leg...
630
00:53:48,728 --> 00:53:50,389
I say, I say, I say!"
631
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,481
How dare you interrupt my
song with "I say, I say, I say!"
632
00:53:53,567 --> 00:53:54,681
I say, I say, I say...
633
00:53:54,776 --> 00:53:57,943
In this world it's not what you
know, but who you know.
634
00:53:58,029 --> 00:53:59,572
I don't know either one of them.
635
00:53:59,656 --> 00:54:01,779
Kindly leave the stage by the red door.
636
00:54:01,866 --> 00:54:04,571
There's a fifty foot drop on the other side!
637
00:54:04,661 --> 00:54:06,654
But we're still good friends...
638
00:54:06,746 --> 00:54:08,205
Dohh!
639
00:54:08,582 --> 00:54:16,956
Auntie's wooden ohh...
640
00:54:20,927 --> 00:54:24,711
Uh ha, oh dear dear dear dear dear.
641
00:54:25,349 --> 00:54:29,642
Auntie's wooden leg.
Aunties wooden leg, we'II...
642
00:54:29,728 --> 00:54:31,851
That's enough of that... or she'll walk out.
643
00:54:32,397 --> 00:54:34,639
That's what the audience did at the concert.
644
00:54:34,816 --> 00:54:36,227
Try another song.
645
00:54:36,860 --> 00:54:38,687
We're desperate men.
646
00:54:39,904 --> 00:54:43,949
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat.
647
00:54:44,033 --> 00:54:47,983
How I wonder what you're at!
648
00:54:48,079 --> 00:54:55,790
Up above the world you fly.
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
649
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:59,965
Twinkle, twinkle, little twinkle,
650
00:55:00,050 --> 00:55:03,950
You don't speak but you will twinkle.
651
00:55:03,970 --> 00:55:11,125
Twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle, little bee,
652
00:55:11,145 --> 00:55:14,513
Twinkle, twinkle,
653
00:55:14,606 --> 00:55:30,622
I'm so glad it isn't me...
654
00:55:32,207 --> 00:55:35,541
Lovely isn't it? It could
almost pass for singing.
655
00:55:45,930 --> 00:55:52,217
"Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..."
656
00:55:54,688 --> 00:55:58,022
Anyway, I'd hadn't finished the
second verse at the concert
657
00:55:58,108 --> 00:56:01,857
when the Queen bawls out...
"He's murdering the tunc!
658
00:56:01,946 --> 00:56:03,274
Off with his head!"
659
00:56:04,073 --> 00:56:05,271
How terrible for you.
660
00:56:05,365 --> 00:56:08,984
You're very understanding for a small girl.
661
00:56:09,494 --> 00:56:12,282
Anyway, if you'll pardon the expression,
662
00:56:12,372 --> 00:56:15,658
Time took offence to our performance.
663
00:56:15,750 --> 00:56:17,328
Uh - your performance!
664
00:56:18,087 --> 00:56:23,377
And ever since then he won't do a
thing we ask... he stopped time.
665
00:56:25,594 --> 00:56:27,551
Could he stop time for me?
666
00:56:28,222 --> 00:56:30,049
I have to sing a song.
667
00:56:30,182 --> 00:56:34,844
Oh wonderful! We're all performers here.
668
00:56:34,979 --> 00:56:38,727
The roar of the greasepaint,
the smell of the crowd...
669
00:56:38,816 --> 00:56:40,393
nothing like it!
670
00:56:40,442 --> 00:56:41,985
But I don't want to!
671
00:56:44,446 --> 00:56:47,530
Don't want to perform?
672
00:56:47,574 --> 00:56:51,074
- It's unnatural.
- No, no, no. Stage fright.
673
00:56:51,662 --> 00:56:57,118
I remember my first performance,
I shook so much my hat fell off.
674
00:56:57,542 --> 00:57:00,959
If Time stopped time for you,
he could stop time for me.
675
00:57:01,088 --> 00:57:03,211
But he only stops time at tea-time.
676
00:57:03,924 --> 00:57:05,466
So it's always tea-time here?
677
00:57:06,010 --> 00:57:07,385
Tell us a story.
678
00:57:08,638 --> 00:57:09,836
I don't know any.
679
00:57:09,930 --> 00:57:12,302
Then Dormy will.
680
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:13,845
Wake up, Dormy!
681
00:57:16,311 --> 00:57:18,470
Ahhrgh! I wasn't asleep.
682
00:57:18,606 --> 00:57:24,441
Oh no... I heard every
word you fellows said...
683
00:57:24,529 --> 00:57:26,854
Tell us a story!
684
00:57:26,947 --> 00:57:27,778
Please do!
685
00:57:27,865 --> 00:57:30,708
And do it quick, otherwise you'll fall
asleep before you've finished it.
686
00:57:30,785 --> 00:57:32,576
Once upon a time there were three sisters,
687
00:57:32,662 --> 00:57:35,781
Elsie, Lacie and Tillie and they
lived at the bottom of a well.
688
00:57:35,873 --> 00:57:37,451
What did they live on?
689
00:57:37,917 --> 00:57:41,250
What did they live on? Treacle!
690
00:57:41,462 --> 00:57:43,086
That would've made them ill.
691
00:57:43,172 --> 00:57:46,291
It did. It made them very ill.
692
00:57:46,467 --> 00:57:47,665
Have some more tea!
693
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:49,717
More tea! More tea!
694
00:57:50,054 --> 00:57:53,719
I've had nothing yet so I can't have more!
695
00:57:53,849 --> 00:57:55,392
You mean you can't have less.
696
00:57:55,476 --> 00:57:57,599
It's very easy to have more than nothing.
697
00:57:57,645 --> 00:57:59,437
Especially if you're poor.
698
00:58:01,106 --> 00:58:04,807
I'd still like to know why they
lived at the bottom of the well?
699
00:58:04,944 --> 00:58:08,562
Ah, oh well, it was a treacle-well!
700
00:58:10,450 --> 00:58:12,857
A treacle well?! There's no such thing!
701
00:58:13,828 --> 00:58:18,039
Disgraceful! You'll hear from
my solicitor in the morning!
702
00:58:18,165 --> 00:58:21,416
Outrageous! What about a
letter to the "The Times"?!
703
00:58:21,502 --> 00:58:25,085
If you can't be civil you can
finish the story yourself.
704
00:58:25,130 --> 00:58:26,673
No, no... I'm sorry...
705
00:58:26,757 --> 00:58:28,584
I won't interrupt you again...
706
00:58:28,676 --> 00:58:31,001
I'm sure there must be,
at least, one treacle-well.
707
00:58:31,136 --> 00:58:32,548
Now, where was I?
708
00:58:32,638 --> 00:58:37,763
Oh yes... so these three
sisters were learning to draw...
709
00:58:38,269 --> 00:58:39,432
Draw what?
710
00:58:39,645 --> 00:58:41,223
Treacle!
711
00:58:41,647 --> 00:58:43,022
Hole in one!
712
00:58:43,566 --> 00:58:47,729
I want another clean cup... everyone move!
713
00:58:55,578 --> 00:58:58,947
What I don't understand is,
how they could draw treacle?
714
00:58:59,081 --> 00:59:01,833
You can draw water out of
a water-well, can't you?
715
00:59:01,917 --> 00:59:03,626
Good one, Hatty! Good one!
716
00:59:07,173 --> 00:59:10,589
I don't think I like this Tea Party
as much as I thought I would.
717
00:59:10,676 --> 00:59:13,048
Then you shouldn't talk, just hum...
718
00:59:13,138 --> 00:59:15,095
because we know you socially, Alice.
719
00:59:15,181 --> 00:59:18,016
It doesn't mean we're going to
introduce you to our friends.
720
00:59:18,101 --> 00:59:19,643
We haven't got any.
721
00:59:19,727 --> 00:59:20,728
But if we had!
722
00:59:20,770 --> 00:59:22,893
Ah, if we had!
723
00:59:22,980 --> 00:59:25,269
I'm no staying here
listening to you being rude!
724
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:27,973
You'll find better places for that I'm sure!
725
00:59:28,069 --> 00:59:30,607
Of course she will, if she's lucky!
726
00:59:30,738 --> 00:59:32,695
Besides it's going to rain.
727
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:37,828
It never rains but it pours.
728
00:59:38,997 --> 00:59:44,335
If it does, we carry on... we're
little heroes, aren't we, Dormy?
729
00:59:44,460 --> 00:59:48,044
Officer, these men are criminals!
730
00:59:50,050 --> 00:59:51,876
Who's got his ear trumpet?!
731
00:59:52,302 --> 00:59:55,219
It's the most stupid
tea-party I've ever been to.
732
00:59:55,305 --> 00:59:56,846
I told you he wouldn't fit.
733
00:59:56,932 --> 01:00:00,596
He'll fit, we have to try harder.
734
01:00:00,726 --> 01:00:02,802
I heard that... try harder.
735
01:00:02,896 --> 01:00:06,016
Oh ah. No that's my nose.
736
01:00:10,070 --> 01:00:11,184
No mind my ears...
737
01:00:23,416 --> 01:00:24,911
That's curious...
738
01:00:48,734 --> 01:00:52,814
Hmm... This time I'll manage things better.
739
01:01:48,126 --> 01:01:49,157
Mmm...
740
01:01:51,004 --> 01:01:54,373
At last. The perfect place to hide.
741
01:02:02,015 --> 01:02:05,384
Oh look out there, Mr Five,
you're splashing paint!
742
01:02:05,477 --> 01:02:08,431
I couldn't help it, Mr Two,
Mr Seven jogged my elbow.
743
01:02:08,564 --> 01:02:11,565
Oh that's right, shifting
the responsibility again!
744
01:02:11,650 --> 01:02:12,895
Ha, you can talk.
745
01:02:12,984 --> 01:02:15,273
I heard the Queen say you
deserved to be beheaded.
746
01:02:15,361 --> 01:02:15,978
What for?
747
01:02:16,071 --> 01:02:16,771
Tulip-roots.
748
01:02:16,905 --> 01:02:17,735
What?
749
01:02:17,823 --> 01:02:20,610
For bringing the Cook
tulip-roots instead of onions.
750
01:02:20,659 --> 01:02:22,283
Is that all?
751
01:02:22,369 --> 01:02:24,576
That's a mistake anyone can make!
752
01:02:27,624 --> 01:02:28,625
Hello...
753
01:02:30,877 --> 01:02:31,956
Hello!
754
01:02:32,170 --> 01:02:34,293
Why are you painting the roses red?
755
01:02:34,715 --> 01:02:39,424
The fact is, Miss, this tree ought by
rights to've been a red rose-tree,
756
01:02:39,511 --> 01:02:41,504
and we planted a white one by mistake.
757
01:02:41,597 --> 01:02:43,305
Easy thing to do.
758
01:02:43,432 --> 01:02:44,213
Yes.
759
01:02:44,308 --> 01:02:45,718
If the Queen was to find out...
760
01:02:45,809 --> 01:02:48,015
well, the fact is we'd all
have our heads cut off.
761
01:02:48,103 --> 01:02:50,855
So you see, Miss, we're doing
our best to put things right.
762
01:02:50,939 --> 01:02:52,137
Before she comes.
763
01:03:03,660 --> 01:03:05,369
Ah! She's coming now!
764
01:03:08,374 --> 01:03:11,160
The Queen! The Queen!
765
01:03:16,089 --> 01:03:31,725
Left right, left right, left right, left,
766
01:03:31,855 --> 01:03:32,886
Halt!
767
01:03:41,198 --> 01:03:44,152
And who is this?
768
01:03:45,994 --> 01:03:47,786
I agree entirely.
769
01:03:48,414 --> 01:03:50,785
Don't be ridiculous!
770
01:03:50,916 --> 01:03:52,790
Would I lie to you, Your Majesty?
771
01:03:52,876 --> 01:03:53,877
Yes.
772
01:03:53,919 --> 01:03:56,920
Oh well thank you, compliments
are always welcome.
773
01:03:57,548 --> 01:04:00,549
You're an idiot!
774
01:04:00,634 --> 01:04:02,378
That's right your Majesty.
775
01:04:03,262 --> 01:04:05,883
Only you could spot that,
it takes one to know one.
776
01:04:05,973 --> 01:04:09,342
A complete idiot!
777
01:04:11,062 --> 01:04:13,469
Your name, child?
778
01:04:15,232 --> 01:04:18,352
Alice, if it please Your Majesty.
779
01:04:19,236 --> 01:04:20,315
Why have we stopped?
780
01:04:20,654 --> 01:04:24,486
And who are these?
781
01:04:24,700 --> 01:04:27,904
How should I know? I'm a stranger here.
782
01:04:29,788 --> 01:04:32,575
Off with her head!
783
01:04:33,625 --> 01:04:35,168
Off with her head!
784
01:04:36,837 --> 01:04:39,044
Off with her her head!
785
01:04:39,131 --> 01:04:42,216
Stop losing your temper... it's vulgar!
786
01:04:43,344 --> 01:04:44,969
Consider, my dear, she's just a child.
787
01:04:46,973 --> 01:04:48,715
You think so?
788
01:04:49,976 --> 01:04:53,640
Yes that would account for it.
789
01:04:55,564 --> 01:05:00,191
Children have no respect
for their betters these days.
790
01:05:02,654 --> 01:05:04,897
You three get up!
791
01:05:06,283 --> 01:05:08,027
Stop doing that! You're making me dizzy!
792
01:05:08,953 --> 01:05:10,115
What is this?
793
01:05:10,329 --> 01:05:12,821
If you please Your Majesty, we're trying...
794
01:05:12,915 --> 01:05:17,957
Yes, you are aren't you...
795
01:05:19,630 --> 01:05:25,585
Very trying... ha ha ha...
796
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,092
Off with their heads.
797
01:05:41,402 --> 01:05:43,027
I won't let you be beheaded.
798
01:05:43,738 --> 01:05:45,066
Quick jump in here.
799
01:06:11,933 --> 01:06:15,266
Do you play croquet?
800
01:06:16,563 --> 01:06:17,938
Who, me?!
801
01:06:18,397 --> 01:06:20,189
Yes, you!
802
01:06:20,775 --> 01:06:25,104
I'm not in the habit of talking to myself
803
01:06:25,362 --> 01:06:30,950
if that's the only way I can get an
intelligent conversation round here...
804
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:37,498
Can you play Croquet?
805
01:06:38,375 --> 01:06:39,376
Yes.
806
01:06:40,211 --> 01:06:41,836
Come on then!
807
01:06:48,177 --> 01:06:49,506
Nice day.
808
01:06:49,762 --> 01:06:51,755
Very... Where's the Duchess?
809
01:06:51,848 --> 01:06:54,635
Oh - Hush... Hush...
she's due to be executed.
810
01:06:54,767 --> 01:06:59,974
Get to your places!
811
01:08:24,107 --> 01:08:26,147
Don't look at me... look down.
812
01:09:01,519 --> 01:09:03,595
Off with his head.
813
01:09:03,939 --> 01:09:06,181
Off with her head.
814
01:09:07,150 --> 01:09:09,902
Off with her head.
815
01:09:10,028 --> 01:09:14,240
I don't like it here... they're too
fond of beheading people...
816
01:09:19,121 --> 01:09:21,362
Ah it's the Cheshire Cat!
817
01:09:24,042 --> 01:09:25,043
Hello, there...
818
01:09:25,293 --> 01:09:26,574
How do you like the game?
819
01:09:27,087 --> 01:09:28,831
They don't play very fair.
820
01:09:28,881 --> 01:09:31,288
But nobody does if they think
they can get away with it.
821
01:09:31,383 --> 01:09:33,091
That's a lesson you'll have to learn.
822
01:09:33,218 --> 01:09:35,756
Well, I should've croqueted
the Queen's hedgehog
823
01:09:35,846 --> 01:09:37,922
but my hedgehog wouldn't roll into a ball.
824
01:09:38,015 --> 01:09:41,348
Well you've got to look at it from
the hedgehog's point of view.
825
01:09:41,476 --> 01:09:43,469
Yes, I suppose I should have.
826
01:09:44,229 --> 01:09:45,889
How do you like the Queen?
827
01:09:46,899 --> 01:09:51,441
I don't... she's so extremely...
828
01:09:55,615 --> 01:09:59,696
...likely to win, that it's hardly
worth finishing the game.
829
01:10:02,915 --> 01:10:05,286
There's a good, good little girl.
830
01:10:05,876 --> 01:10:06,991
Charming.
831
01:10:08,003 --> 01:10:09,461
Charming.
832
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:13,003
Who're you talking to?
833
01:10:13,592 --> 01:10:16,795
A friend of mine. Cheshire
Cat, this is the King.
834
01:10:17,387 --> 01:10:20,887
Urghh - I don't like this at all...
835
01:10:21,099 --> 01:10:23,721
but as you're in the presence
you may kiss my hand.
836
01:10:23,852 --> 01:10:25,227
I'd rather not.
837
01:10:25,312 --> 01:10:26,391
What?!
838
01:10:26,479 --> 01:10:30,145
That's rank insubordination and
you know what that leads to...
839
01:10:31,902 --> 01:10:33,694
And don't look at me like that!
840
01:10:33,779 --> 01:10:35,688
A cat may look at a King.
841
01:10:36,364 --> 01:10:37,443
What does that mean?
842
01:10:37,533 --> 01:10:38,861
I read it in a book somewhere.
843
01:10:38,951 --> 01:10:40,742
I haven't, but it sounds immoral.
844
01:10:40,828 --> 01:10:43,034
It has undertones. That
book should be banned.
845
01:10:43,121 --> 01:10:45,695
I like the sound of that.
846
01:10:45,749 --> 01:10:49,284
Ah, my dear, how do we
get rid of a floating cat?
847
01:10:49,795 --> 01:10:51,455
Off with its head!
848
01:10:51,755 --> 01:10:52,870
Brilliant!
849
01:10:52,965 --> 01:10:55,088
I knew I could rely on you, my dear.
850
01:10:55,175 --> 01:10:56,738
I'll just go and fetch the executioner!
851
01:10:59,638 --> 01:11:01,215
Do you know where my hedgehog went?
852
01:11:01,682 --> 01:11:04,054
He rolled away over there.
853
01:11:35,883 --> 01:11:40,794
Now stop it, it's alright
I'm not going to hurt you.
854
01:11:41,347 --> 01:11:45,427
All that's necessary is a swift
chop to the back of the neck!
855
01:11:45,684 --> 01:11:46,929
It's difficult!
856
01:11:47,144 --> 01:11:49,433
But I must have a ruling!
857
01:11:49,522 --> 01:11:51,063
I appeal to you, little girl!
858
01:11:51,106 --> 01:11:53,598
You've still got a good
head on your shoulders!
859
01:11:54,109 --> 01:11:56,565
No thanks to you.
860
01:11:56,695 --> 01:11:57,810
What?!
861
01:11:57,905 --> 01:11:59,565
Ohh!
862
01:11:59,865 --> 01:12:02,403
I can't hear what you say.
863
01:12:02,618 --> 01:12:04,445
One at a time please!
864
01:12:04,578 --> 01:12:07,152
I'm sorry about my altitude.
865
01:12:07,290 --> 01:12:10,125
It smacks of revolution! You're above us!
866
01:12:10,209 --> 01:12:14,752
My argument is simple and
based on irrefutable logic.
867
01:12:14,838 --> 01:12:16,796
I'm Chief Executioner.
868
01:12:16,882 --> 01:12:20,547
But I can't cut off an head unless
there's a body to cut it from.
869
01:12:20,636 --> 01:12:22,961
This here cat, hanging up there,
870
01:12:23,055 --> 01:12:27,100
large as life and twice as
repulsive, has no body...
871
01:12:27,185 --> 01:12:30,719
ipso facto, I cannot separate
it from hit's head...
872
01:12:30,813 --> 01:12:34,016
My argument is, I venture
to say, overwhelming.
873
01:12:34,108 --> 01:12:37,311
Anything that has a head can be beheaded.
874
01:12:37,403 --> 01:12:40,439
And don't forget I'm also
a Justice of the Peace.
875
01:12:40,573 --> 01:12:44,487
There's too much talk and not enough action.
876
01:12:44,577 --> 01:12:46,985
And if something doesn't happen in a minute,
877
01:12:47,038 --> 01:12:50,620
I'm going to have everybody executed!
878
01:12:50,749 --> 01:12:52,541
You choose, little girl.
879
01:12:52,835 --> 01:12:56,667
To behead or not to behead,
that is the question.
880
01:12:56,797 --> 01:13:00,297
What's the answer, girl?!
881
01:13:00,884 --> 01:13:06,010
You have to tread with care
when dealing with cats.
882
01:13:06,265 --> 01:13:12,304
They have influence and are
seen in all the smart places.
883
01:13:13,314 --> 01:13:15,769
You remember the Great Cat Massacre.
884
01:13:16,609 --> 01:13:20,025
Ah, yes, I was forgetting.
885
01:13:20,154 --> 01:13:21,778
Catastrophe.
886
01:13:21,865 --> 01:13:24,781
I'd think carefully before acting rashly.
887
01:13:25,243 --> 01:13:28,493
Sound advice, little girl.
888
01:13:36,212 --> 01:13:38,205
And another thing,
889
01:13:38,923 --> 01:13:41,674
the cat belongs to the Duchess.
890
01:13:42,135 --> 01:13:46,085
She's in prison... fetch her!
891
01:13:49,683 --> 01:13:54,227
I remember the Great Cat
Massacre of '28... nasty business.
892
01:13:54,355 --> 01:13:59,148
Yes it was just after the Great
Flamingo Plague of '26 wasn't it?
893
01:13:59,235 --> 01:14:00,778
- Shhh.
- What?!
894
01:14:01,654 --> 01:14:03,896
Ahh... Duchess.
895
01:14:08,077 --> 01:14:10,913
Think carefully before
answering this question...
896
01:14:11,873 --> 01:14:15,324
Is this your cat?!
897
01:14:20,214 --> 01:14:21,293
No!
898
01:14:21,382 --> 01:14:24,087
No? It isn't?
899
01:14:24,260 --> 01:14:27,630
I was told... ahh, it's gone!
900
01:14:27,722 --> 01:14:29,845
It's your fault! It was in your custody!
901
01:14:29,974 --> 01:14:35,265
It wasn't official, so it's nothing to
do with me, mate. I'm in the clear!
902
01:14:35,354 --> 01:14:38,391
Help me find it! Everybody help!
903
01:14:53,832 --> 01:14:55,955
Quick, quick. Quick.
904
01:14:58,962 --> 01:15:03,707
Oh, you can't think how glad I am
to see you again, you old thing.
905
01:15:04,217 --> 01:15:05,248
Thank you.
906
01:15:06,470 --> 01:15:07,963
You look worried, my dear?
907
01:15:08,054 --> 01:15:10,592
I don't want to go back and sing that song.
908
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:12,467
The show must go on.
909
01:15:12,517 --> 01:15:13,715
Why?
910
01:15:13,810 --> 01:15:16,217
Life would be very dull if it didn't.
911
01:15:16,395 --> 01:15:18,768
Off with your head.
912
01:15:18,857 --> 01:15:20,482
The game's going better now.
913
01:15:20,567 --> 01:15:22,226
And the moral of that is...
914
01:15:22,611 --> 01:15:27,319
"the more there is of mine,
the less there is of yours".
915
01:15:27,449 --> 01:15:31,529
Or you could say "fortune favours the brave".
916
01:15:31,620 --> 01:15:33,327
I could and I will...
917
01:15:33,413 --> 01:15:37,909
"fortune favours the brave".
Oh that's a good moral.
918
01:15:37,959 --> 01:15:40,451
You are a clever old thing you. Ohh!
919
01:15:42,797 --> 01:15:45,288
Fine day, Your Majesty.
920
01:15:46,635 --> 01:15:50,467
I gave you fair warning.
921
01:15:50,680 --> 01:16:03,931
Either you or your head must be OFF!
922
01:16:08,282 --> 01:16:13,821
Now, my dear, we can finish
our game, before you leave.
923
01:16:14,204 --> 01:16:16,244
I'm frightened of going back.
924
01:16:16,290 --> 01:16:19,124
They want me to do things I don't want to do.
925
01:16:19,251 --> 01:16:23,829
To stay, you have to know the password.
926
01:16:24,173 --> 01:16:25,832
I don't know it.
927
01:16:25,965 --> 01:16:27,425
Guess.
928
01:16:28,843 --> 01:16:30,124
"Penny-whistle".
929
01:16:30,929 --> 01:16:32,008
Guess again.
930
01:16:33,223 --> 01:16:34,800
"Lions and Unicorns".
931
01:16:34,891 --> 01:16:39,802
Almost but not quite. It's "Honeycomb".
932
01:16:40,189 --> 01:16:42,181
Can you write that word down?
933
01:16:42,274 --> 01:16:43,649
Mmm yes.
934
01:16:44,276 --> 01:16:45,556
Blindfolded?
935
01:16:46,195 --> 01:16:47,196
Well...
936
01:16:47,279 --> 01:16:48,559
I thought not!
937
01:16:52,784 --> 01:16:59,582
Come, come, this won't do. Everybody play!
938
01:17:03,378 --> 01:17:06,296
Off with their heads.
939
01:17:07,341 --> 01:17:10,010
Off with their heads.
940
01:17:10,219 --> 01:17:16,802
Off with everyone's heads!
941
01:17:19,144 --> 01:17:22,478
This isn't such a lovely garden after all.
942
01:17:23,482 --> 01:17:25,439
Now where have I got to?
943
01:17:36,411 --> 01:17:40,788
Hmm... That looks like the coat
of arms we have at home.
944
01:18:15,617 --> 01:18:19,865
Hello. Who are you?
945
01:18:20,080 --> 01:18:21,325
Alice.
946
01:18:21,456 --> 01:18:26,083
Alice? That sounds familiar.
947
01:18:26,170 --> 01:18:27,545
And who are you?
948
01:18:27,922 --> 01:18:29,713
A gryphon...
949
01:18:29,799 --> 01:18:34,923
part eagle, part lion.
950
01:18:35,012 --> 01:18:37,717
The best of each I always say.
951
01:18:37,848 --> 01:18:40,968
Hmm, I thought you were a mythical creature?
952
01:18:41,018 --> 01:18:47,519
I am... that makes me even more fascinating.
953
01:18:47,607 --> 01:18:50,146
Is there a way out of this maze, sir?
954
01:18:50,235 --> 01:18:52,857
Let's ask Mr Mock Turtle.
955
01:18:53,238 --> 01:18:57,735
He's my best friend... splendid fellow.
956
01:18:58,493 --> 01:19:01,447
True blue through and through...
957
01:19:14,969 --> 01:19:17,507
Rise and shine, old chum.
958
01:19:50,004 --> 01:19:52,210
Oh, is there something wrong?
959
01:19:52,297 --> 01:19:54,871
No, no, no. It's his fancy.
960
01:19:54,967 --> 01:20:01,800
Who knows what sad thoughts tiptoe
through the mossy glades of his mind.
961
01:20:07,688 --> 01:20:09,432
I know how to cheer him up.
962
01:20:09,649 --> 01:20:13,978
Ah, Mockers tell this
young lady about yourself.
963
01:20:15,029 --> 01:20:19,276
She's come to right person for
that... sit down, both of you.
964
01:20:19,409 --> 01:20:20,950
Er no thanks, I've heard it before.
965
01:20:20,993 --> 01:20:24,029
Sit down... it's the least you can do.
966
01:20:32,797 --> 01:20:41,800
Once, ahhh haaa... I was a real turtle
967
01:20:41,889 --> 01:20:45,472
I was a real... I was a real...
968
01:20:50,898 --> 01:20:53,650
Thank you for that
very interesting story sir.
969
01:20:53,734 --> 01:20:55,229
I haven't started yet!
970
01:20:55,361 --> 01:20:57,603
Stay, you may learn something.
971
01:20:58,030 --> 01:21:00,817
You must've learned a lot
since you've been down here?
972
01:21:00,991 --> 01:21:03,151
Yes I suppose I have.
973
01:21:03,578 --> 01:21:07,410
When Gryph and I were little, we
went to school in the same sea,
974
01:21:07,540 --> 01:21:11,538
and the Master was an old turtle.
We used to call him "tortoise".
975
01:21:11,669 --> 01:21:15,880
Why would you call him
"tortoise" if he wasn't one?
976
01:21:17,175 --> 01:21:20,958
We called him " tortoise
"because he taught us.
977
01:21:21,054 --> 01:21:27,057
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
asking a simple question like that.
978
01:21:28,686 --> 01:21:33,348
He taught us reeling and writing, and
the basic fundamentals of Arithmetic.
979
01:21:33,399 --> 01:21:38,192
Ambition, Distraction, Qualification
and we also learnt Drawling
980
01:21:38,279 --> 01:21:41,730
The Drawling Master was an old conger-eel.
981
01:21:41,824 --> 01:21:47,495
He taught us Drawling.
Stretching and Fainting in Coils.
982
01:21:47,622 --> 01:21:48,653
Whoao!
983
01:21:48,748 --> 01:21:50,290
What was that like?
984
01:21:51,876 --> 01:21:52,877
I'll show you.
985
01:22:00,801 --> 01:22:02,000
I'll have it in a minute.
986
01:22:18,778 --> 01:22:20,605
I can't show it to you myself.
987
01:22:20,696 --> 01:22:22,488
I'm a little too stiff.
988
01:22:23,116 --> 01:22:25,951
Old age is not for weaklings.
989
01:22:26,119 --> 01:22:28,159
And Gryphon, here, never
learnt it, did you, Gryph?
990
01:22:28,246 --> 01:22:29,954
I didn't time...
991
01:22:30,040 --> 01:22:34,916
I went to the Classical Master
though... what an old crab he was.
992
01:22:35,045 --> 01:22:37,037
Tell her about the games!
993
01:22:37,088 --> 01:22:38,962
Woo Cho cho cho cho choo -
994
01:22:39,007 --> 01:22:42,671
You may never have lived in the sea
995
01:22:42,761 --> 01:22:45,465
so you've probably never
been introduced to a lobster.
996
01:22:45,638 --> 01:22:47,762
I once tasted a Io...
997
01:22:47,891 --> 01:22:49,266
You what-what-what-what?!
998
01:22:49,350 --> 01:22:50,726
Nothing.
999
01:22:51,102 --> 01:22:53,640
You've never seen a Lobster-Quadrille then?!
1000
01:22:53,730 --> 01:22:56,185
No, what sort of dance is that?
1001
01:22:56,274 --> 01:22:57,899
Ha da cha cha cha chaa...
1002
01:22:57,943 --> 01:22:59,945
This will give you some
idea of what it looks like.
1003
01:22:59,986 --> 01:23:03,272
First you have to clear
away all the jelly-fish.
1004
01:23:03,406 --> 01:23:06,692
You don't want to dance on top
of a lot of jelly-fish, do you?
1005
01:23:06,743 --> 01:23:09,530
Yah! Woo, Mmmm.
1006
01:23:10,496 --> 01:23:12,454
You have a line of dancers...
1007
01:23:12,582 --> 01:23:16,746
turtles, salmon, cod, skate.
Whoever's available.
1008
01:23:16,837 --> 01:23:19,159
And each one has a lobster
Don't forget about the lobsters!
1009
01:23:19,214 --> 01:23:24,588
Yes, then you advance twice, change
lobsters and retire in the same order...
1010
01:23:24,886 --> 01:23:30,129
Then, you throw the lobsters into the air.
1011
01:23:31,643 --> 01:23:33,636
Then you change lobsters again.
1012
01:23:35,230 --> 01:23:39,014
And that, little girl, is the
first figure of the dance!
1013
01:23:39,150 --> 01:23:40,431
It's a beautiful dance.
1014
01:23:40,485 --> 01:23:43,570
Oh, it is and it costs a pretty penny.
1015
01:23:43,655 --> 01:23:45,398
And a few ugly ones too.
1016
01:23:45,741 --> 01:23:47,982
Now, we'll show it to you.
1017
01:23:52,080 --> 01:23:56,541
"Will you walk a little faster?"
Said a whiting to a snail.
1018
01:23:56,585 --> 01:24:00,997
"There's a porpoise close behind
us, and he's treading on my tail,
1019
01:24:01,089 --> 01:24:05,467
See how eagerly the lobsters
and the turtles all advance!
1020
01:24:05,511 --> 01:24:10,053
They are waiting on the shingle.
Will you come and join the dance?
1021
01:24:30,118 --> 01:24:34,413
See how eagerly the lobsters
and the turtles all advance!
1022
01:24:34,498 --> 01:24:38,994
They are waiting on the shingle.
Will you come and join the dance?
1023
01:24:39,085 --> 01:24:40,959
Dance!
1024
01:24:41,171 --> 01:24:45,252
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you, join the dance?
1025
01:24:45,342 --> 01:24:45,923
Dance!
1026
01:24:46,009 --> 01:24:51,253
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you - join the dance?"
1027
01:24:51,348 --> 01:24:52,546
Dance!
1028
01:24:54,310 --> 01:24:58,438
Thank you. It was a very
interesting dance to watch.
1029
01:24:58,689 --> 01:25:01,725
And no wise fish would ever go
anywhere without a porpoise.
1030
01:25:02,234 --> 01:25:04,025
- Wouldn't it really?
- Course not.
1031
01:25:04,069 --> 01:25:06,427
Why, if a fish came to me and
said he was going on a journey,
1032
01:25:06,447 --> 01:25:08,404
I'd say "with what porpoise?"
1033
01:25:08,949 --> 01:25:10,408
So you like performing then?
1034
01:25:10,909 --> 01:25:12,653
No... I hate it.
1035
01:25:12,786 --> 01:25:15,074
Oh you know you mustn't it's such fun.
1036
01:25:15,121 --> 01:25:16,122
Stand up.
1037
01:25:16,165 --> 01:25:17,623
Oh you are standing up.
1038
01:25:17,666 --> 01:25:20,833
Recite "Tis voice of the sluggard".
1039
01:25:20,919 --> 01:25:22,081
She doesn't know that!
1040
01:25:22,171 --> 01:25:23,172
I do.
1041
01:25:23,214 --> 01:25:24,589
Recite it then!
1042
01:25:27,384 --> 01:25:30,136
"Tis the voice of the Lobster
I heard him declare.
1043
01:25:30,179 --> 01:25:32,219
You have baked me too
brown. I must sugar my hair
1044
01:25:32,264 --> 01:25:35,633
As a duck with its eyelids,
so he with his nose.
1045
01:25:35,726 --> 01:25:39,060
Trims his belt and his buttons
and turns out his toes"
1046
01:25:42,191 --> 01:25:43,519
You've got it wrong.
1047
01:25:46,112 --> 01:25:48,981
I keep getting things wrong today...
1048
01:25:49,156 --> 01:25:53,106
I think you'd better sing
"Turtle Soup" instead,
1049
01:25:53,202 --> 01:25:54,861
if you would, Old Fellow.
1050
01:25:54,996 --> 01:25:56,620
You don't have to ask me twice.
1051
01:25:56,663 --> 01:25:58,039
He'll sing at the drop of a hat.
1052
01:25:58,082 --> 01:26:00,407
I haven't got a hat, but if
I had and it dropped it,
1053
01:26:00,501 --> 01:26:01,940
I'd sing before it touched the ground.
1054
01:26:01,961 --> 01:26:04,368
You're in for a treat, Alice...
1055
01:26:05,922 --> 01:26:10,466
Master... an undiscovered virtuose.
1056
01:26:10,636 --> 01:26:15,428
And he plays the spoons...
show her your reviews.
1057
01:26:15,516 --> 01:26:19,466
Later... Later, I'm in my
singing mode right now.
1058
01:26:22,731 --> 01:26:30,229
"Beautiful Soup so rich and green,
1059
01:26:30,322 --> 01:26:36,656
Waiting in a hot tureen!
1060
01:26:36,787 --> 01:26:43,870
Who for such dainties, would not stoop?
1061
01:26:44,003 --> 01:26:48,297
Soup of the evening,
1062
01:26:48,382 --> 01:26:51,965
Beautiful Soup!
1063
01:26:52,053 --> 01:27:01,175
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
1064
01:27:01,312 --> 01:27:05,226
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1065
01:27:05,316 --> 01:27:08,400
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1066
01:27:08,527 --> 01:27:13,403
Soo-oop of the e-e-evening.
1067
01:27:13,532 --> 01:27:21,825
Beau-ootiful, soo-oo... take it Alice!
1068
01:27:21,999 --> 01:27:26,460
Soo-oop!
1069
01:27:26,587 --> 01:27:29,208
Needs a little work, but we'll get it.
1070
01:27:30,633 --> 01:27:38,724
Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish.
1071
01:27:38,808 --> 01:27:44,561
Game or any other dish!
1072
01:27:44,689 --> 01:27:49,185
Who would not give all else
1073
01:27:49,235 --> 01:28:01,704
for two Pennyworth only of Beautiful Soup!
1074
01:28:01,789 --> 01:28:05,574
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1075
01:28:05,668 --> 01:28:09,713
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1076
01:28:09,797 --> 01:28:15,301
Soo-oop of the e-e-evening.
1077
01:28:15,427 --> 01:28:31,146
Beau-oooo...
1078
01:28:31,277 --> 01:28:37,731
...tiful soooo-oooop!"
1079
01:28:38,576 --> 01:28:43,571
And now my dear - I think
you're ready to find your way
1080
01:28:43,706 --> 01:28:48,333
And they say this sort of
thing is only for the rich.
1081
01:28:48,795 --> 01:28:51,120
One more chorus, dear fellow!
1082
01:28:52,507 --> 01:28:56,339
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1083
01:28:56,428 --> 01:29:00,508
Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!
1084
01:29:00,598 --> 01:29:05,640
Soo-oop of the e-e-evening.
1085
01:29:05,812 --> 01:29:22,194
Beau-oooo...
1086
01:29:22,370 --> 01:29:27,613
...tiful soo-oop.
1087
01:29:32,630 --> 01:29:36,214
Beau-ootiful soup so...
1088
01:29:46,102 --> 01:29:47,810
Oh dear.
1089
01:29:48,020 --> 01:29:49,930
I was forgetting...
1090
01:30:04,204 --> 01:30:08,284
Ah, perhaps this is the way out.
1091
01:31:06,892 --> 01:31:10,556
Ahoy! Ahoy! She's my prisoner, you know!
1092
01:31:10,645 --> 01:31:12,554
And I've come to rescue her.
1093
01:31:12,647 --> 01:31:14,604
We'll have to fight for her.
1094
01:31:14,691 --> 01:31:17,443
You'll observe the
rules of battle, of course.
1095
01:31:17,527 --> 01:31:19,520
I always do.
1096
01:31:19,780 --> 01:31:20,811
Good man.
1097
01:31:31,166 --> 01:31:32,910
Take that! Oh!
1098
01:31:54,356 --> 01:31:56,230
Curse my weak wrists!
1099
01:31:56,399 --> 01:31:58,855
You're worthy opponent, sir.
1100
01:31:58,944 --> 01:32:00,736
Another day perhaps?
1101
01:32:00,821 --> 01:32:02,101
Another day, sir!
1102
01:32:27,139 --> 01:32:28,467
Thank you very much...
1103
01:32:28,724 --> 01:32:31,760
That was a glorious victory, wasn't it?
1104
01:32:31,852 --> 01:32:35,303
As an encore I do the Battle of Agincourt.
1105
01:32:35,438 --> 01:32:38,309
- Here let me help you take your helmet off.
- Yes...
1106
01:32:52,122 --> 01:32:56,619
Oh, I can breathe now.
1107
01:33:01,507 --> 01:33:02,622
Thank you.
1108
01:33:17,356 --> 01:33:20,226
I see you're admiring my box.
1109
01:33:20,443 --> 01:33:23,776
It's my own invention to keep sandwiches in.
1110
01:33:23,862 --> 01:33:28,820
You see I carry it upside-down so
they don't get wet when it rains.
1111
01:33:29,076 --> 01:33:32,860
But they can drop out, the lid is open.
1112
01:33:34,290 --> 01:33:38,038
So that's what happened to my sandwiches!
1113
01:33:55,018 --> 01:33:56,845
Do you know why I did that?
1114
01:33:56,979 --> 01:33:58,093
No.
1115
01:33:58,189 --> 01:33:59,932
It's now a bee's nest.
1116
01:34:00,483 --> 01:34:02,771
I should be getting some honey very soon.
1117
01:34:04,278 --> 01:34:06,947
But you already have a bee-hive.
1118
01:34:07,030 --> 01:34:08,988
Oh, one of the best...
1119
01:34:09,074 --> 01:34:11,067
but the bees won't come near it.
1120
01:34:11,202 --> 01:34:12,482
Same with this.
1121
01:34:12,536 --> 01:34:14,494
It's better mouse-trap.
1122
01:34:15,956 --> 01:34:17,830
Come to think of it
1123
01:34:17,958 --> 01:34:22,585
I shouldn't be surprised if the
mice don't keep the bees out...
1124
01:34:22,671 --> 01:34:25,957
or the bees keep the mice
out... one or the other.
1125
01:34:27,843 --> 01:34:29,966
But why would you need a mouse-trap?
1126
01:34:30,012 --> 01:34:33,595
You won't find many mice running
around on the backs of horse's.
1127
01:34:33,724 --> 01:34:38,682
But if there were he'd be
protected, wouldn't you old chap.
1128
01:34:45,444 --> 01:34:46,607
Are you alright?
1129
01:34:47,946 --> 01:34:51,398
I hope you've got your
hair fastened on tight?
1130
01:34:53,661 --> 01:34:56,069
Only in the usual way.
1131
01:34:56,330 --> 01:34:59,699
Well, that's not good enough.
1132
01:35:00,543 --> 01:35:04,540
The wind is as strong as soup around here.
1133
01:35:04,672 --> 01:35:06,795
You must be ready for anything.
1134
01:35:06,882 --> 01:35:09,338
Then nothing can frighten you.
1135
01:35:27,653 --> 01:35:30,323
You don't seem to have much riding practice.
1136
01:35:30,364 --> 01:35:31,942
What makes you say that?
1137
01:35:32,075 --> 01:35:33,782
You keep falling off your horse.
1138
01:35:33,910 --> 01:35:36,661
I've had plenty of practice
at that... plenty of practice.
1139
01:35:37,121 --> 01:35:38,745
Yes, I suppose you have.
1140
01:35:38,832 --> 01:35:41,287
The art of riding is to keep your balance.
1141
01:35:41,542 --> 01:35:42,543
Hold this.
1142
01:35:43,086 --> 01:35:43,868
What is it?
1143
01:35:44,003 --> 01:35:46,957
I forget but I know it was a bargain...
1144
01:35:48,800 --> 01:35:53,047
Plenty of practice... plenty of practice...
1145
01:35:56,808 --> 01:35:58,218
Mr Knight!
1146
01:36:18,955 --> 01:36:23,367
You see, our bodies are driven by our legs
1147
01:36:23,459 --> 01:36:26,579
and our legs are driven by our feet...
1148
01:36:26,713 --> 01:36:29,464
How can you go on talking
when you're like this?
1149
01:36:29,966 --> 01:36:31,246
Like what?
1150
01:36:31,384 --> 01:36:34,385
Head-downwards and body in the air.
1151
01:36:37,306 --> 01:36:40,723
What does it matter where
my body happens to be?
1152
01:36:40,810 --> 01:36:44,060
My mind goes on working just the same.
1153
01:36:44,147 --> 01:36:47,183
It's a hive of activity.
1154
01:36:47,275 --> 01:36:51,522
Ideas! Ideas! Ideas!
1155
01:36:51,613 --> 01:36:56,489
In fact the more head-downwards I
am, the more I keep inventing things.
1156
01:36:56,576 --> 01:37:01,368
The cleverest thing I ever invented
I thought of head-downwards.
1157
01:37:01,456 --> 01:37:02,950
And what was that?
1158
01:37:03,041 --> 01:37:04,416
A new pudding.
1159
01:37:04,959 --> 01:37:07,795
Come to think of it, I don't believe
that pudding was ever cooked.
1160
01:37:08,880 --> 01:37:11,168
Why, what was it made of?
1161
01:37:11,633 --> 01:37:12,878
Blotting-pepper!
1162
01:37:13,510 --> 01:37:16,001
Uh, that wouldn't have been very nice.
1163
01:37:16,763 --> 01:37:18,555
Not very nice alone...
1164
01:37:18,640 --> 01:37:23,598
but mixing it with other things
like gunpowder and sealing wax
1165
01:37:23,687 --> 01:37:27,637
gives it a true taste of the Cordon-Bleus...
1166
01:37:30,193 --> 01:37:31,984
Now I must leave you.
1167
01:37:32,153 --> 01:37:37,029
I've still dragons to slay
and young ladies to rescue.
1168
01:37:37,784 --> 01:37:41,698
You look worried. You're too young to worry.
1169
01:37:41,788 --> 01:37:44,326
Look at me I don't worry.
1170
01:37:44,416 --> 01:37:49,161
Well, I was thinking about the things
I have to do when I go home...
1171
01:37:49,921 --> 01:37:51,499
You're going home?
1172
01:37:52,549 --> 01:37:55,882
I don't want to but perhaps I should.
1173
01:37:56,386 --> 01:38:01,890
Just be brave. And always
get back on your horse.
1174
01:38:03,560 --> 01:38:07,510
Just keep your balance
at all times. Yes, yes.
1175
01:38:07,647 --> 01:38:10,269
Can you tell me the how
to get out of the forest?
1176
01:38:10,400 --> 01:38:11,977
Plenty of practice, pl-ahhh!
1177
01:38:12,068 --> 01:38:13,267
Before you go!
1178
01:38:13,362 --> 01:38:16,695
Good-bye! Just be brave!
1179
01:38:16,906 --> 01:38:18,104
Mr Knight!
1180
01:38:51,816 --> 01:38:53,774
Oh, Tiger-lily,
1181
01:38:53,902 --> 01:38:57,354
I wish you could talk so you could
tell me how to get out of this wood?
1182
01:38:57,489 --> 01:39:03,278
I can talk when there's
anybody worth talking to.
1183
01:39:04,204 --> 01:39:05,828
Can all flowers talk?
1184
01:39:05,955 --> 01:39:07,201
As well as you...
1185
01:39:07,291 --> 01:39:10,327
It isn't manner for us to speak first.
1186
01:39:10,419 --> 01:39:12,577
We were wondering if you'd speak.
1187
01:39:12,671 --> 01:39:14,960
I thought your face had got some sense on it.
1188
01:39:15,049 --> 01:39:16,542
Not much, but some.
1189
01:39:16,633 --> 01:39:19,753
Hmm but the colouring's right.
1190
01:39:19,844 --> 01:39:22,336
Oh, I don't care about her colour...
1191
01:39:22,472 --> 01:39:26,173
If only her petals curled
more she'd be all right.
1192
01:39:26,393 --> 01:39:28,599
Aren't you frightened of growing out here,
1193
01:39:28,645 --> 01:39:30,685
with no-one to look after you?
1194
01:39:30,730 --> 01:39:34,515
There's plenty of trees. What
else are they good for?
1195
01:39:34,609 --> 01:39:36,899
But what good are trees
when danger comes near?
1196
01:39:36,987 --> 01:39:39,478
They have a good bark.
1197
01:39:39,614 --> 01:39:42,366
You didn't know that did you?!
1198
01:39:42,868 --> 01:39:44,777
Silence all of you!
1199
01:39:46,705 --> 01:39:50,121
They're only like that
because I can't get at them,
1200
01:39:50,417 --> 01:39:52,410
they're to close to the ground.
1201
01:39:57,007 --> 01:40:00,423
If you're not polite,
I'll make you into a chain!
1202
01:40:02,930 --> 01:40:07,010
Daisies are worst of all,
next to Snap-Dragons.
1203
01:40:08,435 --> 01:40:11,519
How is it that all of you can talk so well?
1204
01:40:11,605 --> 01:40:15,519
I've been in lots of gardens and I've
never heard flowers talk before.
1205
01:40:15,609 --> 01:40:17,187
Feel the ground.
1206
01:40:21,782 --> 01:40:23,406
It's very hard.
1207
01:40:23,617 --> 01:40:27,947
Ah, in most gardens the
flower-beds are too soft,
1208
01:40:27,997 --> 01:40:29,989
so the flowers are always asleep.
1209
01:40:30,082 --> 01:40:32,917
I see... I never thought of that.
1210
01:40:33,002 --> 01:40:37,082
In my opinion, I doubt
if you ever think at all.
1211
01:40:40,384 --> 01:40:43,089
Hold your tongue, all of you!
1212
01:40:43,262 --> 01:40:44,887
Now which way out of the wood?
1213
01:40:45,222 --> 01:40:46,337
That way.
1214
01:40:47,057 --> 01:40:48,302
That way.
1215
01:40:48,558 --> 01:40:51,097
Ere this way... that way!
1216
01:40:51,186 --> 01:40:53,309
Definitely that way.
1217
01:40:53,397 --> 01:40:57,441
That way! That way... er.
1218
01:40:57,484 --> 01:40:59,810
Over there! Don't step on us!
1219
01:41:26,096 --> 01:41:31,339
Look, we're standing still as waxworks.
1220
01:41:31,519 --> 01:41:33,178
And if you think we're waxworks
1221
01:41:33,270 --> 01:41:36,022
you should pay for the privilege of looking.
1222
01:41:36,691 --> 01:41:39,181
Wax-works aren't made to
be looked at for nothing.
1223
01:41:39,402 --> 01:41:41,478
No-how!
1224
01:41:41,571 --> 01:41:47,110
Contrariwise, if you think we're alive,
we ought to introduce ourselves.
1225
01:41:48,202 --> 01:41:53,623
I am Mr Tweedledum and
this is Mr Tweddledee.
1226
01:41:54,500 --> 01:41:55,501
I'm Alice.
1227
01:41:57,127 --> 01:42:00,544
Does the name Veronica
Buff mean anything to you?
1228
01:42:00,590 --> 01:42:02,167
No, who is she?
1229
01:42:02,257 --> 01:42:05,425
I don't know but we're obviously
doing her a favour mentioning her.
1230
01:42:05,511 --> 01:42:08,180
Do you think she'll be grateful
if she becomes famous?
1231
01:42:08,389 --> 01:42:09,670
No-how!
1232
01:42:10,766 --> 01:42:13,637
I was just thinking of that poem of you two.
1233
01:42:14,354 --> 01:42:16,430
"Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
1234
01:42:16,522 --> 01:42:18,230
Agreed to have a battle.
1235
01:42:18,316 --> 01:42:20,889
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
1236
01:42:20,985 --> 01:42:23,690
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
1237
01:42:23,779 --> 01:42:26,449
Just then flew down a monstrous crow.
1238
01:42:26,532 --> 01:42:28,655
As black as a tar-barrel.
1239
01:42:28,826 --> 01:42:30,984
Which frightened both the heroes so.
1240
01:42:31,078 --> 01:42:33,202
They quite forgot their quarrel.
1241
01:42:37,918 --> 01:42:39,710
There's no monstrous crow!
1242
01:42:40,045 --> 01:42:42,454
You recited that poem very nicely.
1243
01:42:42,548 --> 01:42:44,340
Congratters... but it isn't us,
1244
01:42:44,384 --> 01:42:45,628
No-how!
1245
01:42:45,718 --> 01:42:48,921
No it's another set of er
Tweedledums and Tweedledees.
1246
01:42:48,971 --> 01:42:52,720
Altogether completely different
people, the names are the same.
1247
01:42:53,100 --> 01:42:55,141
Contrariwise, you began all wrong.
1248
01:42:55,186 --> 01:42:57,973
Yes yes. After you said "I'm Alice",
1249
01:42:58,022 --> 01:43:01,058
you should've said "How
do-dee" and shake hands.
1250
01:43:01,359 --> 01:43:02,360
Da-daa,
1251
01:43:02,568 --> 01:43:04,857
Now shake!
1252
01:43:09,409 --> 01:43:10,986
Here we go round the mulberry bush,
1253
01:43:11,077 --> 01:43:12,737
the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush.
1254
01:43:12,828 --> 01:43:14,738
Here we go around the mulberry bush,
1255
01:43:14,789 --> 01:43:16,698
On a cold and frosty morning.
1256
01:43:20,378 --> 01:43:22,501
Twice around is enough for any dance!
1257
01:43:22,922 --> 01:43:24,831
I hope you're not too tried?
1258
01:43:25,675 --> 01:43:29,921
No way, no way. Thank you for asking.
1259
01:43:33,183 --> 01:43:38,260
As we began with poetry and
song, let's continue that way.
1260
01:43:38,354 --> 01:43:41,190
I'm sorry I haven't the time.
1261
01:43:43,234 --> 01:43:46,401
Neither have we. We never carry a watch.
1262
01:43:46,529 --> 01:43:48,237
No-how!
1263
01:43:49,782 --> 01:43:53,152
The poem's called "The
Walrus and the Carpenter".
1264
01:43:53,244 --> 01:43:54,359
You'll love it.
1265
01:43:58,124 --> 01:43:59,405
Da-daa!
1266
01:44:00,001 --> 01:44:01,376
You start brother mine.
1267
01:44:03,504 --> 01:44:06,078
The sun was shining on the sea.
1268
01:44:06,174 --> 01:44:07,798
Yes, yes, yes...
1269
01:44:07,926 --> 01:44:09,752
The Sun was shining on the sea.
1270
01:44:09,845 --> 01:44:11,504
Shining with all his might.
1271
01:44:11,596 --> 01:44:14,513
He did his very best to make
the billows smooth and bright.
1272
01:44:14,557 --> 01:44:17,309
And this was odd, because it
was the middle of the night.
1273
01:44:18,686 --> 01:44:22,766
The Walrus and the Carpenter
were walking close at hand.
1274
01:44:22,858 --> 01:44:26,855
They wept like anything to
see Such quantities of sand.
1275
01:44:26,945 --> 01:44:30,479
If this were only cleared away...
1276
01:44:30,573 --> 01:44:32,530
It really would be grand!
1277
01:44:32,617 --> 01:44:36,829
If seven maids with seven
mops swept it for half a year,
1278
01:44:36,955 --> 01:44:41,451
do you suppose that they could get it clear?
1279
01:44:41,710 --> 01:44:43,786
I doubt it very much...
1280
01:44:44,337 --> 01:44:47,007
And he shed a bitter tear.
1281
01:44:55,015 --> 01:44:56,046
Sorry!
1282
01:44:59,102 --> 01:45:00,181
Hello!
1283
01:45:01,187 --> 01:45:03,429
Oooo!
1284
01:45:05,191 --> 01:45:09,236
Oh Oysters, will you walk with us?
1285
01:45:09,404 --> 01:45:11,147
The Walrus did beseech.
1286
01:45:11,657 --> 01:45:16,698
A pleasant walk, a pleasant
talk along the briny beach.
1287
01:45:17,120 --> 01:45:22,826
But we cannot do with more
than four, to give a hand to each.
1288
01:45:23,043 --> 01:45:26,293
The eldest Oyster looked at
him, but never a word he said.
1289
01:45:30,216 --> 01:45:33,835
Meaning to say he did not
choose to leave the oyster-bed.
1290
01:45:35,597 --> 01:45:39,725
But four young Oysters hurried
up, all eager for the treat.
1291
01:45:39,851 --> 01:45:42,058
Their coats were brushed,
their faces washed,
1292
01:45:42,145 --> 01:45:45,515
Their shoes were clean
and neat, and this was odd.
1293
01:45:45,566 --> 01:45:46,941
And why was that?
1294
01:45:47,025 --> 01:45:48,899
Because they hadn't any feet.
1295
01:45:50,862 --> 01:45:57,114
"The time has come", the Walrus
said, "to talk of many things."
1296
01:45:57,243 --> 01:46:00,862
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax.
1297
01:46:00,997 --> 01:46:04,947
Of cabbages and king.
1298
01:46:05,461 --> 01:46:09,873
And why the sea is boiling hot,
1299
01:46:09,965 --> 01:46:14,176
And whether pigs have wings.
1300
01:46:14,886 --> 01:46:19,014
"Wait a bit!" the Oysters cried,
"before we have our chat."
1301
01:46:19,099 --> 01:46:22,883
For some of us are out of
breath, and all of us are fat.
1302
01:46:23,895 --> 01:46:25,971
There really is no hurry.
1303
01:46:26,106 --> 01:46:28,432
We thank you very much for that.
1304
01:46:28,567 --> 01:46:31,687
A slice of bread is what we chiefly need.
1305
01:46:31,778 --> 01:46:37,199
Pepper and vinegar besides
are very good indeed.
1306
01:46:37,326 --> 01:46:43,114
So if you're ready, Oysters
dear, we can begin to feed.
1307
01:46:43,832 --> 01:46:46,288
But not on us! Not on us!
1308
01:46:46,377 --> 01:46:48,997
See we're turning a little blue.
1309
01:46:49,129 --> 01:46:53,625
After such kindness, that
would be a dismal thing to do!
1310
01:46:53,717 --> 01:46:59,886
Yes, it was very kind of you to
come! And you're very nice
1311
01:46:59,973 --> 01:47:03,674
Give another slice, my
friend give us another slice.
1312
01:47:03,769 --> 01:47:07,897
I wish you were not quite so
deaf, I've had to ask you twice!
1313
01:47:09,024 --> 01:47:14,896
Well, it seems a shame I must
confess to play them such a trick.
1314
01:47:15,239 --> 01:47:20,613
When we've brought them so far,
and made them trot so quick!
1315
01:47:22,078 --> 01:47:26,741
Look at this, oh look at this
The butter's spread too thick!
1316
01:47:27,668 --> 01:47:37,336
I weep for you, I really
do: I deeply sympathize
1317
01:47:37,761 --> 01:47:42,056
With sobs and tears he sorted
out those of the largest size.
1318
01:47:42,141 --> 01:47:46,055
Holding his pocket handkerchief
before his streaming eyes.
1319
01:47:46,187 --> 01:47:47,515
Oh Oysters,
1320
01:47:48,397 --> 01:47:51,931
I have to say, you've had a pleasant run!
1321
01:47:52,443 --> 01:47:54,684
Shall we be trotting home again!
1322
01:47:55,071 --> 01:47:57,739
But answer came there none.
1323
01:47:57,864 --> 01:48:00,534
And this was scarcely odd because
1324
01:48:00,784 --> 01:48:03,820
They'd eaten every one.
1325
01:48:06,832 --> 01:48:11,993
O woeful, weeping Walrus,
your tears are all a sham.
1326
01:48:12,129 --> 01:48:16,257
You're greedier for oysters
than children are for jam.
1327
01:48:23,182 --> 01:48:24,510
So what's the verdict?
1328
01:48:26,268 --> 01:48:28,427
I like the Walrus best
1329
01:48:28,520 --> 01:48:31,605
because he did feel a
little sorry for the oysters.
1330
01:48:32,066 --> 01:48:35,435
Chaa! He ate more than Carpenter.
1331
01:48:35,862 --> 01:48:39,526
In that case I like Carpenter better...
1332
01:48:39,615 --> 01:48:42,106
if he didn't eat as many as Walrus.
1333
01:48:42,576 --> 01:48:44,236
He ate as many as he could get.
1334
01:48:44,578 --> 01:48:47,200
Then they're both very nasty characters...
1335
01:48:48,499 --> 01:48:49,500
Duh!
1336
01:48:57,633 --> 01:48:59,376
Is that a lion or a tiger?
1337
01:49:00,219 --> 01:49:01,250
Worse!
1338
01:49:02,263 --> 01:49:03,264
What is it?
1339
01:49:03,389 --> 01:49:05,216
It was the Red King snoring.
1340
01:49:05,808 --> 01:49:08,726
Yes he's the King of Heart's
lazy, no-good brother.
1341
01:49:08,811 --> 01:49:10,305
Every family has one.
1342
01:49:10,396 --> 01:49:11,427
Except ours...
1343
01:49:11,563 --> 01:49:13,272
We've got two.
1344
01:49:14,066 --> 01:49:15,560
Come let's have a look at him.
1345
01:49:29,707 --> 01:49:31,830
He'll catch a cold lying there.
1346
01:49:32,084 --> 01:49:34,373
He won't mind, he's dreaming about you.
1347
01:49:34,461 --> 01:49:36,205
You're only a sort of thing in his dream.
1348
01:49:36,338 --> 01:49:39,673
Yes if he woke up now, you'd go out... puff!
1349
01:49:41,093 --> 01:49:42,338
I would not!
1350
01:49:42,386 --> 01:49:46,218
Besides if I'm only a sort of thing in
his dream, then what are you two?!
1351
01:49:52,354 --> 01:49:53,355
I'm going!
1352
01:49:55,608 --> 01:49:57,232
Well, all's well that ends well.
1353
01:49:59,862 --> 01:50:01,689
What is that?!
1354
01:50:05,618 --> 01:50:06,781
It's your rattle.
1355
01:50:06,869 --> 01:50:09,111
You left it in the grass!
1356
01:50:09,706 --> 01:50:11,034
It looks a bit battered.
1357
01:50:11,749 --> 01:50:14,869
Uh! It's spoilt!
1358
01:50:15,211 --> 01:50:18,081
Don't get so upset about an old rattle.
1359
01:50:18,172 --> 01:50:21,043
Old! It isn't old!
1360
01:50:21,300 --> 01:50:24,717
I bought yesterday. It's brand spanking new!
1361
01:50:27,014 --> 01:50:28,509
There's only one thing for it.
1362
01:50:30,059 --> 01:50:31,257
Get a new one.
1363
01:50:31,352 --> 01:50:33,060
Nothing so simple. No, no, no.
1364
01:50:33,104 --> 01:50:36,852
We have to fight for the
honour of the Tweedles.
1365
01:50:37,149 --> 01:50:38,150
Right!
1366
01:50:39,611 --> 01:50:44,853
Ned Tweedledum versus the superior
strength and skill of Fred Tweedledee.
1367
01:50:45,325 --> 01:50:47,531
Frankly it's a bitone-sided.
1368
01:50:47,577 --> 01:50:51,277
I know... I was an advisor
to the British Army. Wha!
1369
01:50:51,373 --> 01:50:53,828
I advised them not to take
him but they wouldn't listen.
1370
01:50:54,376 --> 01:50:56,701
This is fighting talk.
1371
01:51:01,841 --> 01:51:06,634
Urrrrxxx... knikk...
grrrrrgninch... so is this!
1372
01:51:07,764 --> 01:51:12,758
She must help us dress for it...
amour... to protect our vital parts.
1373
01:51:18,024 --> 01:51:22,437
Whatever the outcome dear brother,
I shall remember you in my will.
1374
01:51:22,529 --> 01:51:26,989
No money of course, but I shall
write "I remember you Fred".
1375
01:51:27,534 --> 01:51:31,827
I appreciate the thought but
I'd rather have the cash, Ned.
1376
01:51:35,292 --> 01:51:37,082
Why are you only wearing one sock?
1377
01:51:37,752 --> 01:51:38,867
I'm trying to save money.
1378
01:51:40,630 --> 01:51:41,709
Do I look pale?
1379
01:51:42,715 --> 01:51:43,716
A little.
1380
01:51:43,800 --> 01:51:47,216
Generally of course I'm very brave
but today I have a headache.
1381
01:51:47,970 --> 01:51:50,806
And I've got a... a toothache...
1382
01:51:50,890 --> 01:51:52,433
Which makes us even!
1383
01:51:53,017 --> 01:51:54,926
You'd better not fight today then.
1384
01:51:55,019 --> 01:51:58,020
Oh, we must have a bit
of a fight, it's expected
1385
01:51:58,523 --> 01:52:00,267
And all because of a rattle!
1386
01:52:00,358 --> 01:52:03,229
Yes, well I wouldn't have
minded but it was brand new!
1387
01:52:03,403 --> 01:52:05,894
It seems a bit petty.
1388
01:52:05,988 --> 01:52:09,405
Yes, indeed! That's exactly
why it's so important.
1389
01:52:11,911 --> 01:52:13,738
Arrghh!
1390
01:52:55,622 --> 01:52:57,531
The Blues!
1391
01:52:57,624 --> 01:52:59,249
The Blues!
1392
01:53:35,620 --> 01:53:36,901
It's the crow!
1393
01:53:37,330 --> 01:53:39,869
The monstrous crow!
1394
01:54:06,819 --> 01:54:09,820
Alice, you are hereby and forewith summoned
1395
01:54:09,863 --> 01:54:12,699
to attend the trial of Sir
Jack, the Knave of Hearts.
1396
01:54:34,513 --> 01:54:35,841
How do I look?
1397
01:54:35,973 --> 01:54:38,380
Too early to say.
1398
01:54:53,365 --> 01:54:56,152
Try it again on soprano-sax.
1399
01:55:13,594 --> 01:55:14,839
What are they doing?
1400
01:55:15,012 --> 01:55:18,512
They can't have anything to
write, the trial hasn't begun yet.
1401
01:55:18,599 --> 01:55:20,176
They're putting down their own names
1402
01:55:20,267 --> 01:55:23,304
in case they forget them
by the time the trial is over.
1403
01:55:24,897 --> 01:55:26,522
Stupid things.
1404
01:55:27,608 --> 01:55:29,766
How do you spell stupid?
1405
01:55:30,027 --> 01:55:32,518
S-T-
1406
01:55:33,196 --> 01:55:34,276
What's after T?
1407
01:55:34,448 --> 01:55:38,316
Dinner! Is it dinner time?
1408
01:55:38,411 --> 01:55:39,821
It's dinner time!
1409
01:55:39,953 --> 01:55:41,199
No it isn't.
1410
01:55:42,373 --> 01:55:44,772
I was sure it was dinner time, my
stomach feels like my throat's been cut...
1411
01:55:44,792 --> 01:55:46,334
Silence in Court!
1412
01:55:54,635 --> 01:55:57,636
Quiet! Silent!
1413
01:56:03,894 --> 01:56:07,844
It's your own fault Cedric. You're too easy.
1414
01:56:07,981 --> 01:56:11,565
Chop off more heads. It's wonderful!
1415
01:56:11,735 --> 01:56:14,523
Chop, chop and there's blood everywhere...
1416
01:56:15,364 --> 01:56:17,523
It makes you proud to be Queen.
1417
01:56:18,242 --> 01:56:19,108
He missed!
1418
01:56:19,202 --> 01:56:22,405
Oh he did? Nevermind, I felt it anyway.
1419
01:56:22,538 --> 01:56:24,531
I'm not going to be called, am I?
1420
01:56:24,665 --> 01:56:26,290
Called what?
1421
01:56:26,375 --> 01:56:29,625
I don't want to stand up in
front of all these people.
1422
01:56:29,712 --> 01:56:30,956
Why am I here?
1423
01:56:31,547 --> 01:56:34,631
To save Jack from a death worse than fate.
1424
01:56:36,885 --> 01:56:38,759
Clerk of the Court, read the accusation!
1425
01:56:41,640 --> 01:56:44,760
The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts.
1426
01:56:44,810 --> 01:56:47,099
All on a summer day.
1427
01:56:47,271 --> 01:56:50,806
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts.
1428
01:56:50,899 --> 01:56:53,355
And took them right away...
1429
01:56:53,444 --> 01:56:54,902
Oh, I confess!
1430
01:56:54,988 --> 01:56:56,102
I didn't do it!
1431
01:56:56,447 --> 01:56:59,732
And I'm glad, glad, glad I didn't do it!
1432
01:57:00,409 --> 01:57:04,953
And if I had my time again, I
probably still wouldn't do it.
1433
01:57:05,581 --> 01:57:08,251
Bang! An open and shut case.
1434
01:57:08,334 --> 01:57:10,078
That can't be right!
1435
01:57:10,169 --> 01:57:11,829
Did you say something, Alice?
1436
01:57:11,921 --> 01:57:13,629
No.
1437
01:57:13,714 --> 01:57:14,877
I'm glad that's over.
1438
01:57:15,008 --> 01:57:18,590
Members of the jury,
twelve good pigs and true
1439
01:57:18,719 --> 01:57:21,887
you must retire and consider your verdict.
1440
01:57:22,056 --> 01:57:23,930
- Not yet!
- Why not?
1441
01:57:24,475 --> 01:57:26,931
There's a great deal more to
come before you can say that.
1442
01:57:27,728 --> 01:57:31,678
That's odd - not to say strange.
1443
01:57:32,150 --> 01:57:37,026
Gentlemen of the jury it's
obvious the accused is guilty.
1444
01:57:37,947 --> 01:57:42,942
Put aside the evidence
and look at his face...
1445
01:57:43,327 --> 01:57:46,993
It is the face of a habitual criminal.
1446
01:57:47,081 --> 01:57:50,497
A hardened felon, a recalcitrant rogue...
1447
01:57:51,669 --> 01:57:53,377
What is it?
1448
01:57:53,462 --> 01:57:56,036
We're lawyers for the defence!
1449
01:57:56,174 --> 01:57:59,507
Oh, I... er... rest my case.
1450
01:57:59,761 --> 01:58:01,219
Call the first witness.
1451
01:58:01,345 --> 01:58:03,385
Call the first witness!
1452
01:58:03,597 --> 01:58:05,887
CALL the first witness!
1453
01:58:05,934 --> 01:58:07,891
Call the first witness!
1454
01:58:07,936 --> 01:58:09,810
Call the first witness!
1455
01:58:10,438 --> 01:58:12,146
Call the first witness!
1456
01:58:12,982 --> 01:58:15,058
Call the first witness!
1457
01:58:15,526 --> 01:58:18,064
Call the first witness!
1458
01:58:22,241 --> 01:58:22,941
Good day!
1459
01:58:23,159 --> 01:58:23,824
Good day!
1460
01:58:23,910 --> 01:58:25,108
Snap!
1461
01:58:26,204 --> 01:58:28,612
I'm sorry about bringing
these things in with me
1462
01:58:28,707 --> 01:58:31,957
but I hadn't quite finished
my tea when I was sent for.
1463
01:58:32,168 --> 01:58:34,077
He never finishes his tea.
1464
01:58:34,212 --> 01:58:38,292
It isn't healthy, all those cucumber
sandwiches. Look at his legs!
1465
01:58:38,633 --> 01:58:39,498
I can't.
1466
01:58:39,593 --> 01:58:40,755
That's what I mean!
1467
01:58:40,844 --> 01:58:43,085
He's got a case of "cucumber legs".
1468
01:58:43,179 --> 01:58:46,844
The worst I've ever seen and
I've seen a few in my time.
1469
01:58:46,975 --> 01:58:49,263
Well you're a fine one to talk tubby!
1470
01:58:49,352 --> 01:58:51,261
You ought to have finished tea.
1471
01:58:51,480 --> 01:58:52,938
What time did you start?
1472
01:58:53,022 --> 01:58:54,731
I'll have to ask Mr Hare.
1473
01:58:54,774 --> 01:58:55,775
Send for him...
1474
01:58:59,779 --> 01:59:00,942
I didn't finish the sentence.
1475
01:59:01,197 --> 01:59:04,567
- You haven't passed one yet, Your Majesty.
- Oh, that's right.
1476
01:59:04,784 --> 01:59:07,572
When did we start tea? Fourteenth, wasn't it?
1477
01:59:07,829 --> 01:59:08,860
Fifteenth.
1478
01:59:08,997 --> 01:59:10,111
Sixteenth.
1479
01:59:10,373 --> 01:59:11,951
Write that down.
1480
01:59:13,292 --> 01:59:15,962
Fourteen, fifteen and sixteen.
1481
01:59:17,088 --> 01:59:21,549
Fourteen, fifteen and sixteen.
1482
01:59:21,635 --> 01:59:29,465
Now, subtract, multiply, and
convert to grams and kilos.
1483
01:59:31,353 --> 01:59:33,261
What's the answer?
1484
01:59:35,064 --> 01:59:36,856
They're slow.
1485
01:59:36,983 --> 01:59:39,475
They should be able to do it in their heads.
1486
01:59:39,819 --> 01:59:41,646
Off with them.
1487
01:59:47,076 --> 01:59:49,994
That hat! Disrespect
of this Court. Take it off!
1488
01:59:50,497 --> 01:59:52,739
And his head with it.
1489
01:59:52,874 --> 01:59:54,748
I can't, Your Honour.
1490
01:59:54,876 --> 01:59:56,371
Why can't you take it off, pray?
1491
01:59:56,461 --> 01:59:57,540
It isn't mine.
1492
01:59:57,671 --> 01:59:59,414
Stolen!
1493
01:59:59,714 --> 02:00:01,506
Members of the Jury, write that down!
1494
02:00:03,385 --> 02:00:07,085
Stolen hat, one. This man
is a self-confessed thief
1495
02:00:08,557 --> 02:00:11,593
and he has the gall to come into
this court as a character witness!
1496
02:00:11,685 --> 02:00:13,428
The King seems very prejudiced.
1497
02:00:13,520 --> 02:00:14,895
Oh thank you, Alice.
1498
02:00:14,938 --> 02:00:17,394
That's what makes me so
eminently qualified to be a judge.
1499
02:00:17,441 --> 02:00:18,306
Oh yes!
1500
02:00:18,400 --> 02:00:20,393
Don't I know you?
1501
02:00:24,198 --> 02:00:28,527
I sell hats. I've none of my own.
1502
02:00:28,577 --> 02:00:29,952
I'm um um a hatter.
1503
02:00:30,036 --> 02:00:32,871
Then why didn't you say so. That's
the first thing you should've said.
1504
02:00:38,337 --> 02:00:42,204
Now give us your evidence.
1505
02:00:43,342 --> 02:00:44,504
Don't be nervous...
1506
02:00:44,634 --> 02:00:45,797
Oh no no no...
1507
02:00:45,885 --> 02:00:48,341
Or we'll execute you on the spot.
1508
02:00:54,144 --> 02:00:55,686
I'm not nervous.
1509
02:00:55,854 --> 02:00:58,310
I've nothing to hide.
1510
02:00:58,732 --> 02:01:01,021
Done my duty, served my country...
1511
02:01:01,151 --> 02:01:03,025
I do know you.
1512
02:01:04,904 --> 02:01:08,736
Didn't we meet in Biarritz in the summer
of '41? Or wasn't it Heidelberg?
1513
02:01:08,825 --> 02:01:10,071
Hatter! Your evidence!
1514
02:01:10,327 --> 02:01:12,533
He' s just making him more nervous.
1515
02:01:12,829 --> 02:01:14,573
Stay calm, Mr Hatter!
1516
02:01:15,165 --> 02:01:19,743
I'm a poor man, Your Honour,
and I haven't had my tea.
1517
02:01:20,129 --> 02:01:23,829
And what with the sandwiches getting
ruined after being eaten once...
1518
02:01:23,924 --> 02:01:25,833
and the twinkling of the tea cups...
1519
02:01:25,968 --> 02:01:27,130
Twinkling?
1520
02:01:27,261 --> 02:01:29,419
You're the "Twinkler"!
1521
02:01:29,889 --> 02:01:36,721
I remember, you sang at my
concert "Twinkle, twinkle little..."
1522
02:01:38,730 --> 02:01:40,390
Twinkle, Twinkle little gnat.
1523
02:01:40,482 --> 02:01:42,142
How I wonder what you're at.
1524
02:01:42,192 --> 02:01:45,858
You are very small indeed
you can vanish up my sleeve.
1525
02:01:45,946 --> 02:01:47,654
Up my sleeve, up my sleeve.
1526
02:01:47,697 --> 02:01:53,119
You can vanish up my sleeve.
1527
02:02:01,796 --> 02:02:03,289
We don't do encores.
1528
02:02:03,422 --> 02:02:06,707
But we're available for
weddings and funerals.
1529
02:02:06,842 --> 02:02:13,212
You did sing at my concert.
But this was even worse!
1530
02:02:14,099 --> 02:02:16,175
I've been practicing!
1531
02:02:17,477 --> 02:02:21,178
It's an offence against all we hold dear.
1532
02:02:21,899 --> 02:02:28,780
Cedric, this man ruined my concert
just as he's ruining your trial!
1533
02:02:28,948 --> 02:02:31,071
Oh! Sire, I'm a poor man,
1534
02:02:31,158 --> 02:02:34,443
I stand before you full of
remorse and malnutrition.
1535
02:02:34,494 --> 02:02:36,321
When Mr March Hare said...
1536
02:02:36,496 --> 02:02:37,528
I deny it!
1537
02:02:37,623 --> 02:02:38,488
I object.
1538
02:02:38,540 --> 02:02:39,541
Objection denied.
1539
02:02:39,625 --> 02:02:40,538
Ask Dormouse.
1540
02:02:40,626 --> 02:02:41,789
Ask Dormouse what?
1541
02:02:41,836 --> 02:02:42,749
I can't remember.
1542
02:02:42,837 --> 02:02:44,960
You must remember or I'll have you executed!
1543
02:02:45,214 --> 02:02:47,088
Stand your ground, Mr Hatter!
1544
02:02:48,133 --> 02:02:51,752
I'm a very poor man, Your Majesty.
1545
02:02:51,971 --> 02:02:54,047
And a very poor actor!
1546
02:02:54,181 --> 02:02:55,806
Ooooo.
1547
02:02:56,058 --> 02:02:57,468
Suppress that cheering.
1548
02:03:09,530 --> 02:03:12,234
If that's all you know, you may stand down.
1549
02:03:12,324 --> 02:03:15,029
Well I can't get down any
lower, I'm on the floor as it is.
1550
02:03:15,119 --> 02:03:16,032
You may go.
1551
02:03:16,120 --> 02:03:17,518
Would you like another chorus of "Twinkle"?
1552
02:03:17,538 --> 02:03:18,539
GO!
1553
02:03:19,414 --> 02:03:21,704
Take off his head outside!
1554
02:03:22,084 --> 02:03:23,329
Call the next witness.
1555
02:03:23,794 --> 02:03:24,826
What about me?
1556
02:03:24,920 --> 02:03:26,629
What about you?
1557
02:03:28,591 --> 02:03:30,418
I'm the accused.
1558
02:03:30,510 --> 02:03:33,261
All you do is call witnesses!
1559
02:03:33,345 --> 02:03:34,721
It's not fair.
1560
02:03:34,805 --> 02:03:36,928
I should have the most important part here.
1561
02:03:37,475 --> 02:03:40,144
I haven't said a word for pages and pages...
1562
02:03:40,645 --> 02:03:43,052
What did you want to say?
1563
02:03:43,398 --> 02:03:46,564
I'd just like you to know that
I have no need to steal.
1564
02:03:46,651 --> 02:03:49,817
I'm independently wealthy.
1565
02:03:49,904 --> 02:03:52,940
I've all the money I
need for the rest of my life
1566
02:03:53,366 --> 02:03:55,939
provided I die by one am tomorrow morning...
1567
02:04:02,292 --> 02:04:04,368
We'll try and arrange it.
1568
02:04:04,710 --> 02:04:06,786
Well, that's all right then.
1569
02:04:09,048 --> 02:04:10,756
Jack's an idiot.
1570
02:04:10,841 --> 02:04:12,253
He's your nephew.
1571
02:04:12,385 --> 02:04:14,876
Only on my Father's side.
1572
02:04:27,775 --> 02:04:30,063
That's my cook. How dare she!
1573
02:04:39,704 --> 02:04:41,198
Give your evidence.
1574
02:04:41,331 --> 02:04:42,362
Shan't!
1575
02:04:43,666 --> 02:04:44,864
Shan't?
1576
02:04:44,959 --> 02:04:46,750
Shan't... shan't!
1577
02:04:48,129 --> 02:04:48,959
What now?
1578
02:04:49,046 --> 02:04:51,881
Your worship must cross-examine the witness.
1579
02:04:51,966 --> 02:04:54,920
- Oh must I?
- Be a man, Cedric.
1580
02:04:55,010 --> 02:04:56,719
Be a man!
1581
02:04:57,513 --> 02:04:59,305
Oh, very well.
1582
02:05:00,766 --> 02:05:02,344
What are the tarts made of?
1583
02:05:03,394 --> 02:05:08,555
Ere what about repeating
the question, kind sir?
1584
02:05:08,691 --> 02:05:11,941
I recognize your accent... Girton College?
1585
02:05:12,028 --> 02:05:14,601
No, I went to Oxford, Misses.
1586
02:05:14,655 --> 02:05:17,573
You poor devil, and what did you study?
1587
02:05:17,700 --> 02:05:20,535
Ow to speak like this!
1588
02:05:28,878 --> 02:05:31,583
The witness will answer the question.
What are the tarts made of?
1589
02:05:31,672 --> 02:05:33,381
Pepper, mostly.
1590
02:05:33,924 --> 02:05:35,088
Treacle.
1591
02:05:35,176 --> 02:05:36,255
What did he say?
1592
02:05:36,302 --> 02:05:37,630
Treacle!
1593
02:05:37,678 --> 02:05:39,221
That's Mr Dormouse!
1594
02:05:39,305 --> 02:05:42,390
He's no right to be here.
Off with his whiskers!
1595
02:05:42,475 --> 02:05:43,673
Call the next witness!
1596
02:05:43,768 --> 02:05:46,140
Call Alice!
1597
02:06:17,803 --> 02:06:18,882
I'm sorry.
1598
02:06:19,637 --> 02:06:21,429
What's the matter Alice?
1599
02:06:22,223 --> 02:06:24,928
I don't like being called up here like this.
1600
02:06:25,060 --> 02:06:27,633
I should like it, if it happened to me.
1601
02:06:27,728 --> 02:06:31,180
Yes, most people like being
the centre of attention.
1602
02:06:31,232 --> 02:06:37,069
Now, what do you know about
this business with the tarts?
1603
02:06:38,156 --> 02:06:39,900
Nothing whatsoever!
1604
02:06:40,658 --> 02:06:42,318
That's very important.
1605
02:06:42,410 --> 02:06:44,948
Unimportant, Your Majesty.
1606
02:06:45,080 --> 02:06:47,950
Unimportant, of course,
is what I mean to say...
1607
02:06:48,124 --> 02:06:49,833
Unimportant.
1608
02:06:51,962 --> 02:06:53,871
Unimportant.
1609
02:06:54,339 --> 02:06:55,881
Important.
1610
02:06:56,466 --> 02:06:58,257
Unimportant.
1611
02:06:58,343 --> 02:07:02,293
I've told you all I know. I'd like
to go back to my seat now.
1612
02:07:02,388 --> 02:07:05,389
We're moved by your plea, but I
am reminded of Rule Forty-Two:
1613
02:07:05,475 --> 02:07:09,472
All persons more than a mile
high have to leave Wonderland.
1614
02:07:09,562 --> 02:07:11,270
I'm not a mile high.
1615
02:07:11,356 --> 02:07:12,898
You are.
1616
02:07:12,983 --> 02:07:15,106
More like two miles high!
1617
02:07:15,151 --> 02:07:16,895
You just invented that rule.
1618
02:07:16,945 --> 02:07:18,605
It's the oldest rule in the book.
1619
02:07:18,739 --> 02:07:20,945
Then it should be Rule Number One!
1620
02:07:21,867 --> 02:07:25,568
Careful Cedric, they're
taking over the Court,
1621
02:07:25,704 --> 02:07:28,622
especially that girl.
1622
02:07:29,791 --> 02:07:31,166
Punish somebody.
1623
02:07:31,417 --> 02:07:34,169
You've too much to say for yourself Alice.
1624
02:07:35,005 --> 02:07:38,706
Jury consider your verdict.
1625
02:07:38,842 --> 02:07:44,880
No! Sentence first, verdict after.
1626
02:07:44,973 --> 02:07:46,383
That's stupid!
1627
02:07:47,100 --> 02:07:49,093
Have a care, Alice!
1628
02:07:49,227 --> 02:07:51,683
I can't let you condemn an innocent man.
1629
02:07:51,813 --> 02:07:54,020
Why not? It happens all the time.
1630
02:07:54,357 --> 02:07:55,603
Off with her...
1631
02:07:55,692 --> 02:07:57,602
Don't keep shouting "Off with her head"
1632
02:07:57,653 --> 02:08:00,607
in case someone shouts "Off with yours".
1633
02:08:01,197 --> 02:08:04,816
You've lost your last chance of staying here.
1634
02:08:04,910 --> 02:08:08,076
It's back to the real
world for you, young lady!
1635
02:08:08,121 --> 02:08:09,367
I don't care!
1636
02:08:09,581 --> 02:08:13,246
All the tarts are here so how could
the prisoner have stolen them?!
1637
02:08:13,335 --> 02:08:15,375
There is no crime!
1638
02:08:16,672 --> 02:08:20,123
Alice! Don't you care what people think?
1639
02:08:21,343 --> 02:08:22,920
Not when I'm right.
1640
02:08:23,053 --> 02:08:25,342
Are you so confident, young lady?
1641
02:08:25,431 --> 02:08:26,972
Yes I am.
1642
02:08:27,974 --> 02:08:30,466
Yes I am confident!
1643
02:08:32,854 --> 02:08:36,271
Then you don't need us anymore.
1644
02:09:27,784 --> 02:09:28,982
Alice!
1645
02:09:30,121 --> 02:09:31,365
Alice!
1646
02:09:32,539 --> 02:09:33,867
I'm coming
1647
02:09:47,888 --> 02:09:50,095
I'm here, I'm here.
1648
02:09:50,141 --> 02:09:51,516
I'm back! Sorry, I'm late!
1649
02:09:51,558 --> 02:09:53,101
We were getting worried.
1650
02:09:59,275 --> 02:10:03,604
And now, our daughter,
Alice, is going to sing for us.
1651
02:10:16,208 --> 02:10:18,913
It's "Cherry Ripe" isn't it, dear?
1652
02:10:37,814 --> 02:10:38,976
No.
1653
02:10:41,859 --> 02:10:43,519
I've got a better one.
1654
02:10:45,321 --> 02:10:49,069
"Will You Walk A Little Faster
Said A Whiting To A Snail".
1655
02:10:49,616 --> 02:10:51,111
Are you sure, dear?
1656
02:10:51,202 --> 02:10:53,029
Yes, I'm sure.
1657
02:10:54,080 --> 02:10:59,999
"Will you walk a little faster?"
Said a whiting to a snail,
1658
02:11:00,086 --> 02:11:05,875
There's a porpoise close behind
us, and he's treading on my tail,
1659
02:11:05,925 --> 02:11:11,714
See how eagerly the lobster
and the turtles all advance!
1660
02:11:11,764 --> 02:11:17,268
They are waiting on the shingle.
Will you come and join the dance?
1661
02:11:17,311 --> 02:11:22,733
Will you won't you, will you,
won't you, join the dance?
1662
02:11:22,775 --> 02:11:29,358
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you, join the dance?
1663
02:11:29,448 --> 02:11:38,405
Will you, won't you, will you,
won't you, join the dance?
1664
02:11:38,583 --> 02:11:40,207
Well done!
1665
02:11:41,043 --> 02:11:42,668
Enchanting!
1666
02:11:43,305 --> 02:12:43,165
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