All language subtitles for Malcolm in the Middle (2000) - S03E22 - Monkey (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)-eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,804 In order to break free of the earth's atmosphere, 2 00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:05,173 a rocket ship must attain speeds 3 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,541 of upwards of 25,000 miles per hour. 4 00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,143 Bull. If they went that fast, 5 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,312 they would just be squashed in the back of their seats. 6 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,846 They wouldn't float around. 7 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,982 You're confusing acceleration with velocity. 8 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,051 You feel it when you first start going faster, 9 00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,520 but once you're up to speed, you don't even notice. 10 00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,089 I mean, right now we're on a planet 11 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,224 that's spinning at a thousand miles per hour, 12 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,093 and that's just rotational velocity. 13 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,995 We're also traveling around the sun at almost 67,000 14 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,330 miles per hour, and then 15 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,665 the whole solar system is hurtling through the galaxy, 16 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,834 which is hurtling away from all the other galaxies 17 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,303 because the universe is expanding. 18 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,410 Whee! 19 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,913 ♪ Yes, no, maybe 20 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:48,449 ♪ I don't know 21 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:51,785 ♪ Can you repeat the question? 22 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,054 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 23 00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:56,457 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 24 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,859 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 25 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,961 ♪ And you're not so big 26 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:03,397 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 27 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,399 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 28 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,901 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 29 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,704 ♪ And you're not so big 30 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:15,409 ♪ Life is unfair. 31 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:19,980 Did you hear that? 32 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,382 Firing retro-jets, Captain. 33 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,050 Hal, I think somebody's trying 34 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,418 to break into our house. 35 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:25,786 I'll do it in the morning. 36 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,289 What was that? 37 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,660 Oh, my God! Hal! 38 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:34,128 I'll get 'em, Lois. 39 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,535 REESE: Got him! 40 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,248 What would have happened 41 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,849 if Reese didn't knock him out? 42 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:58,018 He would have seen our TV and stereo 43 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,421 and known he'd made a terrible mistake. 44 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,622 Now let go of my arm. 45 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,923 He came through the window 46 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:03,957 right in front of us. 47 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:04,925 I-I can't explain it. 48 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,960 It was like, it was like we were paralyzed, 49 00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,628 and then my son Reese came in, 50 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,830 swinging this bat. 51 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:10,931 He saved us all. 52 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,466 Yeah, it's a good thing 53 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,435 Reese got to him before I did. 54 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,969 And where were you, sir? 55 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,305 I was in bed. 56 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,872 Actually, trapped in bed. 57 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,975 You see, my wife insists on tucking in the corners-- 58 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,977 I mean, really tucking them in. 59 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:25,513 I saw his head in the moonlight. 60 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,014 It looked like a big, fat pitch 61 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,148 sitting over the plate. 62 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,950 If only there were more kids like you, 63 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,485 our streets would be a lot safer. 64 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,953 Thanks. 65 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,288 You look familiar. 66 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:38,058 Did you ever participate in our ride-along program? 67 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,961 Sort of. 68 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,663 It's like being in a straitjacket. 69 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,831 You twist and you twist 70 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:46,300 and you just can't shake the damn sheets loose. 71 00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:49,136 Well, the most important thing is, we caught the guy. 72 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,871 You know what? Why don't I show you? 73 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,006 Follow me to the bedroom and I'll tuck you in. You'll... 74 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,976 Sir! You don't tuck in police officers. 75 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,045 Craig! I got your lunch! 76 00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,380 Sorry I'm late. 77 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,182 Picked up your burgers and I had to drive a half an hour 78 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,818 across town to get your chicken from Nugget World. 79 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:09,857 I thought you said you wanted to help me lead a normal life. 80 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,092 Did you get the extra mayo? 81 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,193 Yes. 82 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,028 From which place? 83 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,665 When are you getting the nurse? 84 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,334 Well, gee, Lois, it's just that I've been so busy 85 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,870 with, you know, having my arms and legs broken 86 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,905 when your kids' dog chased me out into traffic. 87 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,408 Plus, I can't sleep knowing the mental trauma 88 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,443 my cat suffers staying at Mother's. 89 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,178 Then there's all the forehead sticks 90 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,946 I went through learning to go to the bathroom. 91 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:36,417 Craig, the insurance company gave you money for a nurse. 92 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:40,721 Ah, Lois, poor, sweet, money-wasting Lois. 93 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,022 I've got something better. 94 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,056 Oliver! 95 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,662 Oh, my God, is that a monkey? 96 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,231 It's a helper monkey. 97 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,700 They're highly trained and they donate them free 98 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,067 to the permanently disabled. 99 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,803 You're not permanently disabled. 100 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,038 For the next six weeks, he thinks I am. 101 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,873 Craig, I am not taking care 102 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,575 of you and a wild animal. 103 00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,577 Lois, it's not a wild animal. 104 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,245 It's a capuchin monkey. 105 00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:06,914 They're nature's butlers. 106 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,248 I got a good one, too. 107 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,818 His brother worked for Stephen Hawking. 108 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,689 My God, when was the last time this thing was cleaned? 109 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,161 This is the worst job in the world. 110 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,230 Why do we put up with this? 111 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,766 I don't know about you, but I'm still paying off law school. 112 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:26,767 Okay, everybody! 113 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,769 Clear out. You're all fired. 114 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,304 What? Camp's closing. 115 00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:32,072 They cut down the last tree today. 116 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,074 Anyone want to take a picture with it? 117 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,609 A mining company bought the land. 118 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,745 You got to be out of here by the end of today. 119 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,580 We're just out like that without notice? 120 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,415 This is the circle of life up here. 121 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:42,916 First they cut down the trees. 122 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,852 Then the mining company strips the land. 123 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,421 Then, with any luck at all, they turn whatever's left 124 00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:48,922 into a nuclear waste dump. 125 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,924 It's the only way we're going to wean ourselves 126 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,993 from our unhealthy dependence on foreign oil. 127 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,029 Well, I guess I'm going to have to move 128 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,065 back in with my parents. 129 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,934 And then, after the awards ceremony 130 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,836 they gave me a tour of the police station. 131 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,104 Did you know that the mirrors 132 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,839 in the interrogation room are two-way? 133 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,941 It's a good thing they didn't have that before. 134 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,177 "For heroism and meritorious action." 135 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,845 Reese, I'm so proud of you. 136 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,347 Okay, Dewey, are you finally 137 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,315 going to be able to go to sleep now? 138 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:18,018 You saw all the policemen and how strong the bars are. 139 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,052 Yeah, but... 140 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,454 And you saw that the police station 141 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,456 is much too big for a helicopter to carry it away 142 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:23,857 to a secret hideout under the sea. 143 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,292 But... No buts, Dewey. 144 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,894 That guy is in a jail cell. 145 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,328 He's not going anywhere. 146 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,397 REESE: I wouldn't bet on it. 147 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,031 With our legal system 148 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,633 he's probably back on the streets right now. 149 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:33,667 Dewey. 150 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:34,702 Mom, Dad, 151 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,537 this whole thing's got me thinking. 152 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,805 I mean, usually those cops 153 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,040 are throwing me in the back of their squad cars, 154 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,009 but today they were all clapping for me. 155 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,711 Well, you're a real hero. 156 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,079 And it was really cool, you know, protecting you guys, 157 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,015 saving your lives. 158 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,383 Thanks again. 159 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,018 And it's made me realize 160 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,986 for the first time in my life, 161 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,755 I know what my purpose is. 162 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,890 I think I've found my calling. 163 00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,226 Mom, Dad... 164 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,561 I want to be a pig. 165 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,097 MALCOLM: Go to sleep. 166 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,999 I'm still scared. 167 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,336 Read me a story. Please. 168 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,739 I've already read you every book in this place. 169 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,574 Please. 170 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:28,088 "Aardvark. A burrowing mammal of Southern Africa." 171 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:31,391 "Myocardium. The muscle tissue of the heart." 172 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,471 It's all right. It's all right. 173 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,205 It was just me turning off the light. 174 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,239 Where are you?! 175 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,919 Sorry. 176 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:02,456 Go back to sleep. 177 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,030 "Commingle." 178 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:18,639 It turns out it was all a simple misunderstanding. 179 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,177 It's Larry who should have gotten the spin-off show, 180 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:25,513 not the Ropers, huh, Oliver? 181 00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,916 Oh, Lois, you're not drinking your tea. 182 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,284 Oliver, Lois takes sugar in her tea. 183 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,520 One lump. 184 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:39,126 I usually like to thank him when he does something right. 185 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,762 Um, thank you, Oliver. 186 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,764 Isn't he amazing? 187 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,599 He makes the bed, he does dishes. 188 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,835 He even changes his own diaper. 189 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,303 Oliver, temple massage. 190 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,641 Oh... 191 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,612 This is about as good as it gets. 192 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,380 Lois, you want some of this? 193 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,915 I have to go. 194 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:07,320 Oh, you're like a furry little geisha. 195 00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,129 Hey, what's going on here? 196 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,831 We're just playing. 197 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,066 It's getting a little loud. 198 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,301 This is a nice neighborhood. 199 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,004 Let's keep it that way. 200 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,875 Stay in school. 201 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,745 Hey, you kids! Wear your helmets! 202 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:32,913 That's not safe! 203 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,214 Who the hell are you? 204 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,654 Ouch! Ow! 205 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:43,190 See? You should be more careful. 206 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:46,393 Play safe. Be smart. 207 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:48,762 Did you get the job? 208 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,731 No. It was a stupid idea anyway, 209 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,666 auditioning for a cruise ship. 210 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,267 And what kind of a piano player 211 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,369 doesn't know the music to Cabaret? 212 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,005 Honey, this is useless. 213 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,840 We have to go someplace where there's work! 214 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,108 We're not leaving our home. 215 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,275 Something will come up. 216 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:04,745 We're not here. What? 217 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,380 Piama! I know you're in there! 218 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,050 Hey, what's the problem? 219 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,218 Look, I'm sorry. 220 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,886 We served your eviction notice 30 days ago. 221 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,887 You have to leave. 222 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,255 Eviction? What are you talking about? 223 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,624 Why didn't you tell me? 224 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,291 Because it's not happening. 225 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,928 Hey, the tribal council made a deal with the mining company. 226 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,262 You're getting a settlement. 227 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,563 Part of a settlement. 228 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:26,199 Only one-fifteenth of your property's on tribal land. 229 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,868 Forget it! 230 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,603 We'll just live in the other part of the house. 231 00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:30,638 You can't do that. 232 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,105 This whole area's been designated 233 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,607 as an arsenic containment basin. 234 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,909 Nobody's stealing my property. 235 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,978 Let's just all cool down. 236 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,047 Uh, you may actually not want to touch her. 237 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,382 Don't tell me how to do my job. 238 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,751 All right, missy, 239 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,786 let's get one thing straight. 240 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,849 What time is it? 241 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,617 Oh, damn! 242 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,120 It's too dark to see my Rolex. 243 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,521 No matter. 244 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,457 I'll just take out the maximum amount, 245 00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,694 and everything will be fine. 246 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:30,931 Yeah, that ought to do it. 247 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,367 Now, where did I park my Bentley? 248 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,103 Damn my inability to see in the dark. 249 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,470 Hey! 250 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,841 Can I help you with something? 251 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,444 Your money's hanging out of your pocket. 252 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,013 You might want to tuck it back in. 253 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,214 This is a bad neighborhood. 254 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:50,718 Thank you. 255 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,629 Ooh, that lasagna smells good. 256 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,964 Took you long enough, though. 257 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,133 What, did you have to fly to Italy to get it? 258 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,467 Never mind. 259 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,336 Let's, uh, let's dig in. 260 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,338 Oh! Oh! 261 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,573 Hot, hot, hot. 262 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,608 Let-Let's just let it cool down a little bit. 263 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,716 Oh! Hot! Tongue! 264 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:25,018 Blisters! Please, God, no! Water! 265 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,488 Water. Good monkey. 266 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,690 Closer. Closer. 267 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,062 Aah! Hot! 268 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,897 Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! 269 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,912 : You're out. 270 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,013 I was safe. 271 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,614 Out. Safe. 272 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,088 Looks like someone smashed up 273 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:02,622 your trash cans pretty good. 274 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,024 Maybe if you brought them in on time, 275 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,492 this kind of thing wouldn't happen. 276 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:09,696 Oliver! 277 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,932 Is my milkshake ready? 278 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,534 It was supposed to be ready an hour ago! 279 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,304 If it's warm, you can go ahead and drink it 280 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,439 'cause I won't. 281 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,441 All right, I will. 282 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,911 Where is it? 283 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,980 Oliver? 284 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,323 You know what, I've changed my mind. 285 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,425 I'm not in the mood for a milkshake anymore. 286 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,463 Well, since you did go to all that trouble. 287 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,141 Mmm, good. 288 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:11,024 Well, I've been awake for a week straight. 289 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,993 First 96 hours were tough, 290 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,662 but I really think I'm starting to get my second wind. 291 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,868 Who needs sleep anyway? 292 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,769 Just a waste of time. 293 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:26,940 They say that Thomas Edison-- he only got, like... 294 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,608 Well, he didn't... 295 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,812 What was I talking about? 296 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,314 Never mind. 297 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,727 Craig, I can't stay long. 298 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,362 I got your mail. 299 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,798 Geez, it's boiling in here. 300 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,567 Really? I hadn't noticed anything. 301 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:55,802 I was just 302 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,637 spending a pleasant afternoon at home 303 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,339 here with Oliver. 304 00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:03,877 Lois, that monkey is out to get me. 305 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,545 What? He tried to poison me 306 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:06,679 and now he's trying to cook me alive. 307 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,415 He is an evil little monkey. 308 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,550 Craig, you're asking an animal with a brain the size 309 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,252 of a piece of gum to run your household. 310 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,353 Stop being paranoid. 311 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,322 I am not being paranoid. 312 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,523 I've seen him staring 313 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,059 at me when I'm pretending to be asleep. 314 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,428 He's been chewing on my brake cables. 315 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,730 You have got to get me out of here. 316 00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,099 You are not staying with me. 317 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,034 Craig... 318 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,401 that monkey is not... 319 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:34,241 Lois, you tell such amusing stories. Shh. 320 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:37,044 You are getting a real nurse tomorrow. 321 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,018 MAN: Just a quart of milk? 322 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,087 WOMAN: That's it. 323 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,633 What are you doing? 324 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,635 I was waiting for that spot! 325 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,271 Oh, you got a problem with me, pal? 326 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,273 Oh, bring it on. 327 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,408 Well, you want it? You got it. 328 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,709 I'll kick your ass. 329 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,045 You think I'm afraid of you? 330 00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,413 I am not afraid! 331 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,315 No one's tucked in now! 332 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,950 Just give me 30 seconds. 333 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:19,419 I'll beat you like I was your daddy. 334 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,656 I am going to pound your head 335 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,993 out through your butt, and then 336 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,627 I'm going to make you kiss it. 337 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,062 I am very sorry, sir. 338 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,498 Oh, yeah, yeah, you're going to be sorry. 339 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,765 Hey, hey, where are you going? 340 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,734 What, are you going to run away, little girl? 341 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,069 Why don't you come out here 342 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,204 and fight like a man? 343 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,848 Hey, Mom, what are you doing? 344 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,450 Unloading the groceries. 345 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,620 You're, uh, a little far on the sidewalk, aren't you? 346 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:54,988 Who cares? Grab a bag. 347 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,924 You have to leave the sidewalk free for pedestrians. 348 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,659 Stop stalling and help unload. 349 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,529 Are you walking away from me? 350 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,631 Excuse me? 351 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,133 You can't leave your car here. 352 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,602 I will leave my car wherever I want to leave my car. 353 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,038 Well, I'd hate to see 354 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,639 anything happen to your car. 355 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:17,144 Just bring in the bags, Reese. 356 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:26,286 Officer in need of assistance! 357 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,455 Repeat: Officer in need of assistance! 358 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,357 WOMAN : 911 emergency. 359 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,593 : This is Craig Feldspar. 360 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,993 You've got to help me. 361 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,230 My monkey butler is trying to kill me. 362 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:13,800 I don't know how much time I have... 363 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:19,005 That lawyer was a total idiot. 364 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,073 Are you kidding? 365 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,941 A $50 fine was a great deal. 366 00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:23,410 It probably costs 367 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,278 ten times that amount to wire that deputy's jaw shut. 368 00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:27,380 He totally deserved what happened. 369 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,915 This is not helping us. 370 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,883 Look, here's the settlement check from the tribe. 371 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,452 We can use it to pay your fine. 372 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,853 I'm not taking a settlement 373 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,188 and I'm not paying the fine. 374 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,289 I'm getting a real lawyer 375 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,524 and taking this to trial. 376 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,392 That would take four or five months. 377 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:40,893 There is a bulldozer in the yard 378 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,595 and it is going to flatten this house 379 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:43,896 whether we're in it or not! 380 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,798 I'm not scared of a bulldozer. 381 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,467 You know what? The bulldozer doesn't care 382 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,136 if you're scared or not. 383 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,403 It will still crush you. 384 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,704 We have to get out of here. 385 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:52,739 I can't. 386 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,141 Why are you so scared to leave? 387 00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,376 I don't know. 388 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,812 Francis, I've been on this reservation 389 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,214 my whole life. 390 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,750 I don't know anything else. 391 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,318 I'm just a hick. 392 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,786 I'm not like you. 393 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,555 I can't just pick up 394 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,891 and start a new life whenever I need to. 395 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,327 I'm not as brave as you, okay? 396 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,596 Brave? 397 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,599 I'm not brave. I just didn't know any better. 398 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:20,767 What? 399 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,603 If I had had any idea of how horrible it was up here, 400 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,004 I never would have come. 401 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,773 And I never would have met you. 402 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:31,110 I'm not brave, I'm just stupid and lucky. 403 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:33,580 And you're with me now, 404 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,149 so my stupid luck will take care of you. 405 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:44,424 Hopefully, one-fifteenth of a share will pay off our fine 406 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,693 and maybe buy us a bus ticket. 407 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:47,660 Oh, my God. 408 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,362 What? 409 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,430 Oh, my God. 410 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,265 That's more than I made all last year. 411 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,133 See, this is what I'm talking about. 412 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:59,739 HAL: Craig, you in there? 413 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,712 Craig? What happened? 414 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,581 Behind you. 415 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,454 What the hell's wrong with that monkey? 416 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,622 He's crazy. 417 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,192 Well, he picked the wrong guy to mess with. 418 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,394 CRAIG: Oh, no! 419 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,662 God, please, no! 420 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,299 Hang on, Craig. 421 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,700 No, leave me. Save yourself. 422 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,168 I am not going 423 00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:31,037 to leave you here, buddy. 424 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,175 You'll be safe here. 425 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,188 Not my Romulans. 426 00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:02,869 Oh! 427 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,604 Oof! 428 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:23,423 I always pictured an ending like this. 429 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:32,765 Take that, you damn, dirty helper monkey! 430 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:35,101 So, where do you want to go? 431 00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,202 I don't care. 432 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,938 All I know is we've got $2,000 left 433 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,907 and a car pointed south. 434 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:58,257 Read it to me again, Dad. 435 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:00,627 Okay, son. 436 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:03,330 "Local man subdues monkey. 437 00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:07,334 "A disabled man was saved by a local hero 438 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,935 when he was..." 439 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,572 Oh... 440 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,906 I can't believe it. 441 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,008 Dewey's finally fallen asleep. 442 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:19,278 I'm only 11 hours away from the world record. 443 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:22,114 So, at least some good will come of... 444 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:27,854 "Experts say the capuchin monkey can weigh up to nine pounds. 445 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:33,460 'He's a real hero,' said victim Craig Feldspar, age 36." 446 00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:35,495 "A real hero." 30881

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.