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KITTY: What should I say?
ALISON: I don't know.
2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,120
Whatever you like.
Hello, Bumpy. I'm Katherine.
3
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,240
Who's your favourite
Spice Girl? Over.
4
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,400
GIGGLES
5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,800
TV ON
Shh! Trying to listen to this!
6
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,200
What, the business news?
7
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,200
Yeah. I like to keep an eye
on the markets.
8
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,840
Track my investments.
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00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,640
You don't have any investments,
Julian.
10
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,320
You're dead.
For your information,
11
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,960
I've just added an exciting
new fund to my portfolio.
12
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,720
Oh. I set him up an account,
and I put in a fiver.
13
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:30,520
And it's already up to £5.73.
14
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,000
That's a 15% yield. Yeah.
15
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,840
"King Midas", they used to call me
16
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,320
because everything
I touched turned to...
17
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,840
TV: ..fundamental downturn...
18
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,160
Oh, damn and blast!
Switch it off, Alison.
19
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,920
TV: Let's go over to Rachel
for today's...
20
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,880
ROBIN AND PAT OBJECT
We don't want to miss...
21
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,800
What? But you can't even
feel the heat.
22
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,400
Or the cold. Or...anything.
23
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,960
BOTH: Shh!
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00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,080
FORECAST CONTINUES
25
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,280
So, as I was saying, Melanie B
is the first...
26
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,400
YELPS
27
00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,840
RETCHES
28
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,120
I just saw the baby.
Yeah, well, that's where it lives.
29
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,080
No, I mean, I saw everything.
30
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,720
Even...
31
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,440
Oh, Alison, you're having...
32
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,440
No, no, no. No.
We don't want to know the sex!
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00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,120
No, no, no, no, no.
PAT: Do you mind?
34
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,280
We're trying to watch this.
35
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,480
FORECAST CONTINUES
36
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,560
PAT SIGHS
37
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,520
Mm. Mm-mm.
38
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,920
PHONE RINGS
Oh...
39
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,200
Hello.
40
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,760
ON PHONE: Mr Cooper.
41
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,840
Charles Worthing here,
Worthing, Cole and...
42
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,480
Yeah. Yeah. Charlie, hi.
43
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,000
Have you heard from the golf guys?
44
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,520
I just got off the phone with them,
45
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,440
and there's good news
and there's bad news.
46
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,760
OK. Um... What's the good news?
47
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,520
The consortium have pulled
the offer.
48
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,800
You're kidding me?
What the hell is the bad news?!
49
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:41,960
No, I... I'm sorry.
50
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,600
I thought you'd ask
for the bad news first,
51
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,760
so I've written it down
in that order.
52
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,080
The good news, bad news
format was a mistake.
53
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,760
OK. So what's the good news?
54
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,320
Basically, your bar idea
got them thinking.
55
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,080
They no longer just want a course.
56
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,960
They're now proposing
a full-scale golf resort -
57
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:04,160
bar, hotel, health spa, the works.
58
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,520
Oh, my G...
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00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:06,920
Alison!
60
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,480
Alison.
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00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:09,640
Alison!
62
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,200
So, what does that mean for us?
63
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,560
They want it all, Michael -
to buy the house
64
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,360
AND grounds in its entirety.
65
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,720
Buy them...?
66
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,880
What?!
67
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,560
Guys...!
68
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,320
PAT SIGHS
She's just so...
69
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:24,520
ON TV: Rather gusty here.
70
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,400
BOTH: ..professional.
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00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:27,640
Yeah.
72
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,280
TV: ..humidity, which means
there'll be pressure building
73
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,880
between two fronts.
74
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,960
RUNNING FOOTSTEPS
We can see more clouds...
75
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,400
FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING
76
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,720
HUMPHREY: How many times?!
77
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,560
Easy on the stairs!
78
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,040
You're kidding. You're kidding.
79
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,000
No. No.
80
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,840
BOTH: Well, what did he say,
exactly?
81
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,400
Just that. They want the
grounds for the golf course
82
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,480
and the house for the hotel and bar.
So, a complete buyout.
83
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,200
How much? I don't know.
84
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,960
He said they're just gauging
interest in principle for now,
85
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,240
but he reckons
it'll be a substantial offer.
86
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,000
Like - big money.
87
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,320
Pay off our debts.
88
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,120
Give us a little nest egg.
89
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,400
This could solve
all of our problems.
90
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,640
Yeah...
91
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,760
Oh, God, this is not going
to be an easy...
92
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,200
OK. Whatever you do,
do not let the ghosts...
93
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,160
WHISPERING: ..get wind of this.
Oh, yeah, I know. I'm not an idiot.
94
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,600
GHOSTS ALL YAMMER AT ONCE
95
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,200
They're here, aren't they?
96
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,720
Mm-hm. They know, don't they?
97
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,000
I told them, didn't I?
98
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,440
All right, guys.
Guys, guys, guys... Hey!
99
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,240
We've... We've barely had any
time to take this in ourselves,
100
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:55,520
let alone make a decision.
101
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,120
I mean, obviously,
we have to have a conversation...
102
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,960
GHOSTS ALL SPEAK AT ONCE
103
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:03,080
I meant...
I meant a conversation with Mike.
104
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,680
Right. Well, Mike's involved...
105
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,840
Without you.
106
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,080
PAT SIGHS
107
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,080
ALISON SIGHS
108
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,840
Let's go for a walk.
109
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,440
How could she even consider
such a thing?
110
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,120
This is Button House.
111
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,800
It needs to stay in the family!
112
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,320
Family, family, family!
113
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,920
Yeah!
114
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:26,280
Although, to be fair,
also money, money, money.
115
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,440
BOTH: ABBA!
116
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,840
Could she really leave me?
117
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,080
I mean, us.
118
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,160
KITTY: No! Not on my watch!
119
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,960
I'm going to make her love me
so much that she never leaves.
120
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,960
I'll be extra kind and nice
and sweet and caring,
121
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,480
and I won't put my head
in her belly.
122
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,920
Kitty's right.
123
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,440
Excluding the last bit.
124
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,680
Now, if we want her to stay,
we have to make staying
125
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,720
seem like
the most attractive option.
126
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,040
OTHERS AGREE
127
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,080
Operation...
128
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,640
..Be Really, Really Nice.
129
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,600
Walk to where? I don't know.
130
00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,960
Just get out the house.
131
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,720
Mm-hm. Away from all the...
132
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,080
Yeah. Yeah.
133
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,440
Just weigh up the pros and cons
quietly, without all the drama.
134
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,160
SOBBING: She left me.
135
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,400
Oh...
136
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,560
OBI SOBS
MIKE SIGHS
137
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,600
OBI SOBS
138
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,720
Come on, mate.
139
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,720
We'd just gone halves
on a sandwich toaster...!
140
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,360
CONTINUES SOBBING
141
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,560
Hi, Alison.
142
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,040
GASPS
It's me, Kitty.
143
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,640
Yeah, I know.
144
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,120
If this is about the house, we...
145
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,400
Oh, that? No, no.
I've forgotten all about that.
146
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,280
No, I wanted to assure you,
as a friend,
147
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,600
as your best friend,
148
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,080
that the secret's safe with me.
149
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,280
You know, about the baby's sex.
150
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,080
Oh. I won't tell a soul.
151
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,840
And believe me, I can keep a secret.
152
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,680
I've kept some
for hundreds of years.
153
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,120
Even some really juicy ones,
154
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,000
like the one about my friend
Josephine.
155
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,120
Oooh, the one who poisoned
the mayor's cat?
156
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,640
How could you know that?
157
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,280
Because you told me, Kitty.
158
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,520
Oh, right.
159
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:56,880
Well, this will be different.
160
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,120
One of those real
never-tell-a-soul secrets,
161
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,120
like that Robin and Mary thing.
162
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,280
What Robin and Mary thing?
163
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,280
Oh, nothing. Nothing. W...
164
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,680
HEELS CLICKING
165
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:06,920
Mm.
166
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,400
Kitty, did you find...?
167
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,680
I don't know any secrets!
168
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,040
SOBBING
169
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,680
I know that sob.
170
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,640
Heartbreak.
171
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,160
I thought things were going
well with you and, uh...
172
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,640
Brenda. ..Brenda. Yeah.
173
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,000
So did I.
174
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,800
Then, today, out of the blue,
175
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,720
she just sends me this text -
"This isn't working."
176
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,440
Out of nowhere.
177
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:41,960
A text? Mm-hm.
178
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,920
That's cold. She didn't say why?
179
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,880
Just that it's been weird for ages,
180
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,760
and she needed something new.
181
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,040
SNIFFLES
182
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,680
Like someone else?
183
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,160
Oh, God...!
184
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,040
The cousin. It'll be the cousin.
185
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,120
OK. You need some answers.
186
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,200
Call her.
187
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,560
I've tried. She won't pick up.
188
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,880
Just have some rest, yeah?
You look tired.
189
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,000
Yeah.
190
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,040
WHIMPERS AND MUMBLES
191
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:14,120
What?
192
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,560
He thought she understood him.
I thought she understood me.
193
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,920
I know, mate.
194
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,280
OBI GASPS
195
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,120
OBI SOBS
196
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,360
There, there. It's all right.
197
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,560
The first 100 years are the worst.
198
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,360
Actually, the next 100
are quite bad, too.
199
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,720
How's he doing?
200
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,200
Yeah, not great. I think he's going
to have a nap,
201
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,000
so maybe we could sneak off
for a minute. Have that chat?
202
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,520
PHONE CHIMES
203
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,720
OBI WAILS
Why?!
204
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:48,880
ALISON SIGHS
205
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,000
I should probably...
I'll tell you what -
206
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,440
why don't we both make a list,
the pros and cons of staying,
207
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,400
then compare them later?
OK. Great idea.
208
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,440
SOBS CONTINUE
209
00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,040
I mean, yes, it's distressing,
210
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,080
but you haven't been shot
in the stomach.
211
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,480
What has she said now?
212
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:07,440
Slightly less than the melodrama
would have you believe.
213
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,680
Jeez, Louise! Can we please have
less sneaking up
214
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,960
on the pregnant woman?
Yes. Sorry. Of course.
215
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,040
Anything I can do to help.
216
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,800
In fact, that's why
I'm here, actually.
217
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,720
Just to say, if there's
anything I can do to help,
218
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:23,080
to help you in any way,
you only need ask. Anything.
219
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,720
You know, not chores,
obviously, or anything manual.
220
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,520
You know? No lifting or carrying
221
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,600
or anything that involves
physical contact of any kind.
222
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,560
LAUGHS
But that aside...anything.
223
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,080
Anything. Well...
224
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,600
Yeah. Well, that pretty much
counts out everything
225
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,680
that might be helpful to
a heavily pregnant woman.
226
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,040
So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No.
227
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,080
Yeah.
228
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,920
ROBIN CHUCKLES
229
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,120
Real smooth!
230
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,480
What's it to you?
231
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,840
I don't know. What is,
what is it to me to you?
232
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,080
What? What?
233
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,000
I know what this is about. What?
234
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,960
It's Rachel, isn't it?
235
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,480
Off the weather.
236
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,240
You're jealous. Jealous?
237
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,360
ROBIN SCOFFS
238
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,440
That's right.
239
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,400
You know that a sophisticated
lady like Rachel
240
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,800
would never be interested
in an old fossil like you,
241
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,080
and it's eating you up inside.
242
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,480
She'd want a modern man.
243
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,360
A rad dude, drives a Datsun,
eats Caramac.
244
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,080
Maybe.
245
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,800
Or maybe she prefers someone
a little more rugged.
246
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,120
Huh? You know, rough around
the edges.
247
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,200
A bad boy.
248
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,680
PAT GASPS
249
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,680
Not some goody-goody-two-shoe
with your little shorts
250
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:36,920
and your tiny toggle.
251
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,560
It's a woggle!
252
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,920
As you would know, if you had
one iota of intelligence.
253
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,920
Ohh! You see, it requires a certain
degree of intellect to communicate
254
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,120
on a level with someone like Rachel,
255
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,520
with her southern oscillation
and her tightly packed isobars!
256
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,600
And with the best will
in the world, Robin,
257
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,480
you're not exactly
the sharpest tool in...
258
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,120
The square of the hypotenuse
to a right-angled triangle
259
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,480
is equal to the sum of the
square of the other two sides.
260
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,160
SCOFFS
261
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,920
So, you can parrot a bit
of Fibonacci...
262
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,040
That Pythagoras.
263
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,720
Hold up, clever dick!
264
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,440
What's the capital of Indonesia?
265
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,920
GROANS
266
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,000
GROANS
267
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,600
What are you doing?
268
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,240
Oh. Just redistributing some assets.
269
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,680
Just made a cool 17K.
270
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,960
That says 17p.
271
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,440
What do you want, Kitty?
272
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,160
Don't mind me. You carry on.
273
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,040
Such a lovely thing to do
for Alison.
274
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,480
A little nest egg for the baby.
275
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,160
Yes. Minus my commission,
obviously.
276
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,160
And while I can't say anything
specific about the baby,
277
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,240
I'm sure that if the baby could,
278
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,320
then the baby would thank you
for doing this for him.
279
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,240
Him?! Oh, no! What have I done?
280
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,920
Pros and cons.
281
00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,600
FOOTSTEPS
282
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,200
Now, Alison... No.
283
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,120
No, what? No to whatever it is
you're going to say
284
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,880
about families and houses
and bloodlines.
285
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,520
We haven't even discussed it yet,
286
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,200
so I don't want a lecture about
a decision no-one's made.
287
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,360
Quite right. You take all the time
you need.
288
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:24,120
What? And whatever you decide
will be for the best, I'm sure.
289
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,400
Um... OK.
290
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:29,400
Now, how are you?
291
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,160
Hmm? You look well.
292
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,640
Positively blooming.
293
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,480
And that shawl. What a delight.
294
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,760
What's happening?
295
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,440
The fit is quite sublime,
296
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,680
and the hue really brings out
the colour of your eyes.
297
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,440
Stop it. Whatever this is,
can you stop it?
298
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,120
Stop what, Alison? I'm merely
making conversation.
299
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,040
It's creepy. Oh, my God,
what's wrong with your mouth?
300
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,000
I'm smiling, Alison.
People like smiles.
301
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,360
Well, stop it. You're making my skin
go weird.
302
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,600
I'm just being pleasant, Alison.
303
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,760
Is it so hard to believe
that I could be pleasant?
304
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,080
Um... I've been being pleasant
since before you were born,
305
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,920
young lady, and I will not have
my naturally breezy demeanour
306
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,920
called into question
by the likes of you!
307
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,760
It's absolutely outrageous!
308
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,120
And take off those boots!
You look like a strumpet!
309
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,040
Wow.
310
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,040
Good morning, Alison,
and may I just say...
311
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,360
Out! Understood.
312
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,920
CLEARS HIS THROAT
313
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,040
Yeah...
314
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,880
OBI SIGHS
315
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,080
I miss her hair.
316
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,320
Her perfume.
317
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,840
Her feet.
318
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,320
You said feet.
You've already said feet.
319
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,320
The way her eyes crinkle
when she smiles.
320
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,720
All eyes do that.
321
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:40,920
Her feet.
322
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,800
Oh, good God, man, it's been
for ever! Get over it!
323
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,760
Stop fawning over her
like a lovesick puppy!
324
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,160
You're embarrassing yourself!
325
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,120
Mike... Oh, Alison.
326
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,920
You're looking radiant.
327
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,080
Is now a good time to compare lists?
328
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,000
Um, yeah. He's just riffing anyway.
329
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,640
I don't think he'll notice I'm gone.
330
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,880
Just abandoned. Again.
331
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,080
My whole life!
332
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,200
SOBS
Why do people always abandon me?
333
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,080
SOBS INTENSIFY
334
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,080
You're on your own, mate.
335
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,600
Alison, a moment, please.
336
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,280
OBI SOBS AND MUTTERS
337
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,680
Hello, Lady Button.
338
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,320
Kitty. Are you well?
339
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,720
Not particularly.
340
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,800
I tried to endear myself
to Alison, as we agreed, but...
341
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,840
Well, you've probably never
noticed this, Kitty,
342
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:43,480
but occasionally I betray
a slightly barbed demeanour.
343
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,560
LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY
344
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,880
Well, we all have our flaws.
345
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,840
And I'm sure Alison knows deep down
how much you care for her.
346
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,440
Do you think so? Of course.
347
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,160
You're giving up your room
to be the nursery.
348
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,000
What could be more selfless? Yes.
349
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,360
Yes, I suppose you're right.
I can see it now.
350
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,000
A cot in the corner,
351
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,000
a chest full of teddies,
and all painted blue.
352
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,840
Blue?! For a boy?! Oh, my goodness!
353
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,680
What's wrong with me?
AIR WHOOSHES
354
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,840
You're here. Good. Oh, and Kitty's
here, too. Even better.
355
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,360
CHUCKLES
Now, we were wondering
356
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,840
if you would settle, um...
357
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,160
..I wouldn't say a disagreement.
358
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,320
I would. Right. You see, Robin
and I have been discussing
359
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:25,880
what might constitute an ideal
day out with a female companion.
360
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,440
A woman. A lady friend. Woman.
361
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,720
What the Americans might
call a date.
362
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,120
I don't approve of them.
363
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,320
What, dates?
364
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,440
Americans.
365
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,680
Right. OK.
366
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,200
Well, that's... All we'd like you to
do is just judge
367
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,360
which nice day out with a lady
sounds better to you,
368
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,200
from a female point of view.
369
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,400
Oh, what fun! I see.
370
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,280
So, my pitch is a day at the beach.
371
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,520
Yes!
372
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,280
LAUGHS
I love the beach.
373
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,360
Oh, it's perfect.
Yes. I'll marry you, Pat.
374
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,920
All right, Kitty.
375
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,400
There's more to it than that.
376
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,720
There is? Yes.
377
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,920
We meet at the station.
378
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,800
I got some flowers
from the Londis.
379
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,280
We're getting trains, see, so we can
have a couple of those.
380
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,840
Then it's straight to the beach
for fish and chips.
381
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,040
Mushy peas, if she likes 'em.
382
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:15,320
We'll stroll down the prom for a 99,
383
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,240
and then we'll sit on the pebbles...
384
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,200
..and have a box of white wine.
385
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,920
The good stuff, mind.
386
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,640
Liebfraumilch.
387
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,640
And then, we'll watch the
sun go down.
388
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,120
No.
389
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,480
You what?!
390
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,880
Flowers? With my hay fever?
391
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,760
And I certainly wouldn't
travel by train.
392
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,640
And peas should not be mushy
any more than wine belongs in a box.
393
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,160
The whole thing sounds ghastly!
394
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,400
Ha!
395
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,480
All right! Well, let's hear yours!
396
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:48,120
Rummaging for grubs and then
back to the cave, is it?
397
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,600
CLEARS HIS THROAT
398
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,080
We take a carriage
to Simpson's in the Strand.
399
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,280
The pre-theatre menu
but with champagne -
400
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,960
Dumont, Laurent...
401
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:59,160
Then on for dry Martinis
at Claridge's. I've booked ahead.
402
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,960
Robin wins. Yes!
403
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,320
Oh, well done, Robin.
404
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,440
You just wooed a 170-year-old woman.
405
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,120
Excuse me! And Kitty liked mine.
406
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,120
Well, best of three, then!
407
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,600
Ah, perfect.
408
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,720
I'm doing him a snack,
so we've got a couple of minutes.
409
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,640
So, obviously, I've got ghosts.
410
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,560
Yeah, me, too. Yeah.
411
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,240
In which column?
412
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,600
Both.
413
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:24,960
Yeah.
414
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,800
Yeah, me, too. I've still to do my
cons cos I'm struggling.
415
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,760
..I'm fortunate, nay blessed...
416
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,440
Ghost? Ghosts.
..to share your home... OK.
417
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,400
..with such devoted
and contented companions.
418
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,720
I will catch you later.
If you would.
419
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,960
Imagine a life where you wake
up in the morning
420
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,160
to find you haven't been
written a poem.
421
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,880
Mm-hm...
422
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,800
A life without seeing
this face every day.
423
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:51,880
You see?
424
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,920
Even now, I'm in your thoughts.
425
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,400
Why, you have idly scribed my name.
426
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,080
Pray tell, what is a con?
427
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,960
It means...confident.
428
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,000
And I am...
429
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,960
..confident.
430
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,800
Confident that you will make
the right choice.
431
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,240
EXHALES
432
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,640
GASPS
Guys! How many times?
433
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:20,840
Pregnant!
434
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,360
Yeah. Sorry, Alison.
435
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,360
We've just got a little favour to
ask if you've got two minutes.
436
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,320
Well, I mean, I do, I... Good.
437
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,640
See, Pat think we need modern
lady to judge lady things.
438
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,560
Lady things? Yeah.
439
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,880
We've both got our eye on
Rachel the weather girl,
440
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,120
but we can't agree on who'd win her.
441
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,360
So, I'm going in with a day
at the beach.
442
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,800
You know, fish and chips,
Mr Whippy, the works.
443
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,760
No, no, no, no. To win a girl like
that, you're talking
444
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,920
dinner at the Strand,
champagne, oyster cocky-tail.
445
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,720
No, no. Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
446
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,680
This is ridiculous. Well, yeah.
I did try to tell him. Don't...
447
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,520
I mean, both of you.
448
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:58,240
Firstly, you're dead people fighting
over a woman off the telly.
449
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,640
Secondly, this whole competition
feels kind of demeaning.
450
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,880
She's not a piece of meat.
451
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,400
Yeah! We know that.
452
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,720
She's a lady. Yeah.
453
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,240
You know, a lovely,
unique human lady.
454
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,400
Human lady.
455
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,440
Well, what's her full name?
456
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,240
Rachel...
457
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,520
Yeah?
458
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,560
Guh...
459
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,760
K...
460
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,000
BOTH: Weather?
461
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,120
McGill.
462
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,400
McGill! So close!
463
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,600
She's not a possession
that either of you can win,
464
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,160
even if you were alive.
465
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,280
She's a smart, successful woman
who deserves more respect
466
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,280
than either of you
are showing her right now.
467
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:43,680
She's right.
468
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,440
Yeah.
469
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,000
Share? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
470
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,280
Yeah. Yeah.
471
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,840
Oh, Captain, can I ask your advice?
472
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,680
Ah, Katherine. Yes, of course.
Anything.
473
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,000
In the war, you had
to keep secrets, yes?
474
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,480
Oh...
LAUGHS
475
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,280
Well, I... I couldn't possibly
say, Kitty.
476
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,480
CHUCKLES
477
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,520
Yes. Right.
478
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,640
So, how do you do it? Keep a secret.
479
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,760
It turns out I'm not quite as
good at it as I thought I was.
480
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:17,040
Ah, I see. Well, it's actually
pretty straightforward.
481
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,280
Just don't allow yourself to be
pulled into any conversations
482
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,880
about the offending issue,
which in this case is...?
483
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,240
The baby being a boy.
Oh! You see?
484
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,600
Good Lord! You're an
interrogator's dream.
485
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,600
Well, I think
in your particular case,
486
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,880
it's best if you keep your
conversations focused
487
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,080
entirely on the other person,
488
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:39,040
thus avoiding the risk
of any accidental divulgence.
489
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,400
FOOTSTEPS
490
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,440
Try it. Try it now. Try it.
491
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,080
Hello, you two. Hello.
What have you been up to?
492
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,360
Well, we had a little
falling-out, didn't we, Robin?
493
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,680
A lovers' tiff.
494
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,880
Yeah, but it's all patched up now.
495
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,680
Honestly, you boys!
496
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:53,840
I said boy. Like baby boy.
497
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,200
The baby's a boy!
Oh, I can't stop doing it...!
498
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,520
What's up with...?
499
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:58,680
Panic over. They're staying.
500
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,680
PAT: What? KITTY: Are they?
501
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,280
Alison and I had
a little tete-a-tete and...
502
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,320
..well, let's just say I'm confident
she won't be going anywhere.
503
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,880
Oh, that's a relief. Well done,
Thomas. Nice one.
504
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,800
Ironic, isn't it? All this effort
to keep her here.
505
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,040
It only seems like yesterday
that they arrived here
506
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,400
and we couldn't wait
to get them out.
507
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:18,760
That's right. True.
508
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,760
Julian even pushed Alison
out of the window!
509
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,040
LAUGHS
510
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,880
He absolutely did...
ALISON: What?
511
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,920
Now, listen, let's not be too ha...
512
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,840
Oh, my God. What have you done?
513
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,640
Well, don't look at me!
Julian pushed her!
514
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,800
He's right. Julian,
you have to fix this at once.
515
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,720
What? Our efforts are for nothing
now this hangs over us.
516
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,240
It's murder, Julian.
517
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,600
Attempted murder.
518
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:55,880
I'm going to be sick.
519
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,000
RETCHES
520
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,600
You have to make this right.
Yeah. It's all on you.
521
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,400
Just take a bite.
522
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,880
I can't.
523
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,480
It just reminds me of her.
524
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,560
She loves lettuce.
525
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,880
PHONE VIBRATES
526
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,920
GROANS
527
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,000
Hello. Obi's phone.
528
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,160
WHISPERING: I'm not here.
529
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,560
Just a second.
530
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:26,520
ON PHONE: Hello?
531
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,880
Brenda? Hey! You all right?
532
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,480
Of course I'm not all right.
533
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,120
Oh, God. What's wrong?
534
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,040
What do you think? I've been dumped.
535
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,200
Huh? By who?
536
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,520
By you.
537
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,960
Erm, I didn't dump you.
538
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,320
Yes, you did.
539
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,120
Obi, I'd know if I'd dumped you.
540
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,840
You said, "This isn't working,"
and, "It's been weird for ages."
541
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,880
Yeah. My phone.
542
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,320
But you said, "I think I
need something new."
543
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,720
Yeah, a new phone.
544
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,280
But you said, "Don't call.
545
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,640
"I need some time
to figure this out."
546
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,640
Yeah, to get a new phone.
547
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,400
Cos mine stopped receiving calls.
I told you that yesterday.
548
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,200
Oh, yeah.
549
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,320
You did.
550
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:11,840
So...
551
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,360
..are we back together?
552
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:15,360
We never broke up.
553
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,560
Though I suppose
I could pretend we did,
554
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,440
you know, if you wanted
to...make up?
555
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,120
Uh... Dude, I got to go.
556
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,640
I'm going to call you later.
Brenda. Brenda...
557
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,520
Unbelievable.
558
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,800
We're taking the deal.
559
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,080
What?
560
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,480
GHOSTS ALL SPEAK AT ONCE
561
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,280
No, no, no. Never say sorry.
562
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,040
That's the first rule of politics.
563
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,720
PAT: But you've done it before.
You've sung it before.
564
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,440
That was different.
We all did that together.
565
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,720
Never be in a minority.
Second rule of politics.
566
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,800
To Hades with your rules, sir!
567
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,640
You need to apologise, man.
Oh, yeah.
568
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,880
Like a simple sorry
is going to make this right.
569
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,560
You'd be surprised.
There's nothing so bad
570
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,280
that it can't be fixed
with a sincere apology.
571
00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:59,680
Oh, really?
572
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,080
BAD NORTHERN ACCENT: Hello, Pat.
Morris here.
573
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,880
I'm so sorry
I slept with your wife, mate.
574
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,720
That's all right...
575
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,800
..mate.
576
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:23,640
And thank you for your apology,
you f-f-f-f-f...
577
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,360
..fine fellow.
578
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,440
WHISPERING: Now you try.
579
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,480
MIKE: OK, what have they said now?
580
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,880
It's not what they said.
It's just...
581
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,480
It doesn't matter why.
582
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,520
We need to leave.
I just... Just trust me.
583
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:43,840
And I sincerely apologise if you
feel in some way aggrieved
584
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,320
by the actions that are alleged...
585
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,200
That's not an apology,
damn your eyes!
586
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,840
I'm trying here!
587
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,920
My list is, like, 95% cons.
588
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,880
It's just... Are you sure
about this?
589
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,080
There are no second chances
here, Julian.
590
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,720
Don't just say it.
You must mean it.
591
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,360
Please don't let her go.
592
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,720
"We will gladly consider the
sale of the house and grounds
593
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,200
"in their entirety."
594
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,000
Send?
595
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,160
Send.
596
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,720
JULIAN: Alison.
597
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,240
I've got nothing to say to you.
598
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,720
Just one minute, please...
599
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,040
I beg of you.
600
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,480
Just one minute.
601
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,440
Well...
CLEARS HIS THROAT
602
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,160
..the thing is...
603
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:29,760
Uh...
604
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:33,920
I'm...
605
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,160
I'm...
606
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,240
Uh...
607
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:39,720
I am...
608
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,360
Mm-hm.
609
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:43,640
I am...
610
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,640
I'm not sorry, actually.
GHOSTS GASP
611
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,840
In fact, I'm glad.
612
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,600
Yeah, I'm glad I did what I did,
because were it not for that,
613
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,040
you would never have met us,
614
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,680
and our lives would be poorer
for it... Deaths! Deaths!
615
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:02,080
Look, I'm not proud of
my actions, Alison.
616
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,280
Of course I'm not.
617
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:08,440
But I can't pretend to regret them
when they brought with them this...
618
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,280
..magic.
619
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:14,920
This gift that we could have
waited a lifetime for.
620
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,800
1,000 lifetimes.
621
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,080
I'm glad you found us, Alison.
622
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:26,880
And I think, if you're honest
with yourself...
623
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,280
..you're glad that we found you.
624
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,640
Ooh...
625
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:38,680
But you do as you must.
626
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,680
We won't stand in your way.
627
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,240
CLEARS HIS THROAT
628
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,920
Someone's still talking?
629
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,360
You OK?
630
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,480
I can't do it.
631
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,800
They're awful.
632
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,760
You are... You are awful.
633
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,920
Yeah, I know.
634
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,000
But...
635
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,000
But what are you going to do?
636
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,600
It's family.
637
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,360
I know that your list
was mainly cons, but...
638
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,880
..how do you feel about staying?
639
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,000
Honestly, I only had one pro.
640
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,760
But I think it's a goody.
641
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,600
Yeah.
642
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,720
ALISON SNIFFLES
643
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,360
Oooh! The safe!
644
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,440
Well, I mean...
645
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,960
TV ON
646
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,040
What about Erin if it's a girl?
647
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,120
Well, we know it's a...
648
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:58,280
Kitty!
649
00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,400
I'm sorry.
650
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,520
Oh! Right, OK, who here knows
the sex of our baby?
651
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,720
I also know. You're kidding!
652
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,040
Does everyone...? Yeah.
653
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,600
Guys...
654
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,680
Alison, I know that Kitty
has been a little indiscreet
655
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,440
in regard to this issue,
656
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,680
but ensuring a battalion keeps
a vital secret
657
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,800
is exactly what I trained for.
658
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,440
You have my personal assurance
that until this baby is born,
659
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,840
no-one in this house will let slip
660
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,680
any detail about the little lad.
661
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,000
GHOSTS GROAN
Great.
662
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,680
Damn it. So, it's a boy, then.
663
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,160
What? Damn it.
664
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,720
This is all my fault!
I'm so sorry, Alison.
665
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,360
I couldn't help but see.
666
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:41,560
You couldn't miss it.
It was just so long.
667
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:42,680
Really?
668
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,040
Yes. All coiled around him
like a giant spring.
669
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,680
Like a...
670
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,720
Wait.
671
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,520
LAUGHS
Kitty...
672
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,480
Kitty, I think you saw
the umbilical cord.
673
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,880
The what?
674
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,800
The... The tube that gives
it all its nutrients
675
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,160
when it's inside me.
676
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:01,640
It does what? Let me see.
677
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,120
TV: Now let's take a look at
what the weather has in store.
678
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,560
PAT CHUCKLES
679
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,600
The outlook's about to get
a little sunnier.
680
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,080
ROBIN GRUNTS
681
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,080
Live from our new weather centre in
Salford, it's Richard Hanratty.
682
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,680
How are things looking
for the weekend, Richard?
683
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,840
Richard? Oh! Oh, turn
it off, Alison.
684
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,680
No, no. No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no...
685
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,200
Let's not be too hasty.
686
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,880
CAPTAIN CLEARS HIS THROAT
47824
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