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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,811 Good luck, Sonny! 2 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:24,019 Good job, Hooper! 3 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,909 Okay, now, look alive. Here comes the director. 4 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,215 Did you have a good lunch? 5 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,927 - You all set? - Ready. 6 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,890 Six-three, Louis. 7 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,434 Okay, Hooper, stand by now. We're about set. 8 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,065 - Roll the cameras. - Rolling, Jack. 9 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,906 Scene two, take one, B camera. Marker. 10 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:18,198 - We're ready to make the shot, Roger. - Action. 11 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,708 Action. Come on, Hooper. 12 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,934 Cut! Did you get it? 13 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,936 - Good. - Print it. 14 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,064 Let's get ready for the next setup. Get the first team in there. 15 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,981 Get me down, Joe. 16 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,903 Don't move, Hooper! Don't move! 17 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,197 - Need a picture, Jack? Booga-booga-booga! - Hold still, Hooper. 18 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,284 - You all right? Huh? - Oh. Terrific. 19 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,246 - I'm serious, now. You all right? - I invented that stunt. 20 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,873 There ain't nobody in the world that does it better. 21 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,835 - And you say that in all humility? - I give great humble. 22 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,422 - It's okay. Not a scratch. - You sure? 23 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:17,091 - I'm not talking about your ass. - Okay, let's have the first team! 24 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:20,887 - What would you give for a little of that? - Two nipples for a dime. 25 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,975 - Sonny, that was terrific. - No, that's terrific. 26 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,393 - Teach me to do that gag sometime. - Ha, ha. 27 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,021 He wants to learn how to do that. What, are you crazy? 28 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,857 I want to ride under trucks. 29 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,109 - Come on, teach me some gags. - Oh, for chrissake. 30 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:37,738 - West, can I have you in position over here? - Right away, Tony. 31 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,405 I'll make a deal with you. 32 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,533 I won't do any acting... 33 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:44,411 - ...you don't do any stunts, okay? - Adam, please? 34 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,538 - Okay. - Okay. 35 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,456 - Mr. West! Please! - Coming, little lady. 36 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,505 Hooper. 37 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:57,549 - Hooper, you can wrap for the day. - How was the stunt? Okay? 38 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,426 - Yes. - That good, huh? 39 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,262 - Yeah. - Would you go so far as to say perfect? 40 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,515 Well, that's what he's supposed to be, isn't he? Ha-ha-ha. 41 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,975 Tony! 42 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,436 I hate it when directors slobber all over me. 43 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:13,940 When your last picture made over $100 million, you don't have to slobber over anybody. 44 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,526 - You got any Percs? - Yeah, here. 45 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,194 If you're hurting that bad, want me to go get the kit? 46 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:22,490 - No, I'll just chomp on a couple of these. - What is it this time? 47 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:23,908 It's my frigging back. 48 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,161 - Are you all right, Sonny? - Never felt better and had less. 49 00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,415 - Listen, you can be replaced. - Ha, ha. 50 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:33,333 - The bike gag was terrific. - Would've killed your ordinary man. 51 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:37,339 - Mm. Cully, you taking care of my boy? - Well, I'm trying to, Mr. Berns. 52 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:40,175 Well, make sure you don't give him any more of those goddamn pills. 53 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,554 By the way, Sonny, there's a new kid in town. 54 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,015 Everyone says he's a young Sonny Hooper. 55 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,392 - Would you like to check him out? - I'm full up. 56 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,020 - You're the boss. See you later. - Thanks. 57 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,606 - Now, take care. - See you, Max. 58 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:58,860 Why is it every time I come to town... 59 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,196 some young boy... 60 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,824 has gotta try and make a name for himself? 61 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,993 - Do Gregory Peck for the doctor. - I don't want to see him. 62 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,704 - Gotta go to get some x-rays. - I've seen my x-rays. 63 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,248 - They look like a map of L.A. - Maybe you've built another off-ramp. 64 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,292 Wait a minute. 65 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:19,088 The Percodan is starting to work. I feel the pain is vanishing. 66 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:22,843 By God, I think she can dance. I think she can turn. I think she can whirl. 67 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:27,013 Whoo! Ooh! Jesus! How about a date? Ha, ha. 68 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,571 Dancer! 69 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,468 She'll be here in a minute, Dancer. 70 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,171 - Perfect companion. - Me or Dancer? 71 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,840 I wouldn't kick either one of you out of the hay. 72 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,224 Hey, you never feed me a can of beer like that. 73 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,561 - You don't shake it up and down like that. - Oh, that's very true. 74 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:21,401 - How'd it go today? Okay? No problems? - Okay. No. 75 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,194 You fill all those little minds at school with knowledge? 76 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,031 - I did my very best. - Ah. 77 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,784 - Cully called. How's your back? - Oh, yeah? He's got a big mouth. 78 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,451 Oh, come on, how's your back? 79 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,371 A lot better than his butt's gonna be after I kick it. 80 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,791 What the hell's the matter with Cully, calling you up all the time? 81 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,295 - Sonny. Your eyes are dilated. - What? 82 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:43,298 - Oh, don't start. - How many pain pills did you take? 83 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:46,927 I had two, for crying out loud. I don't take dope. I don't take cocaine. 84 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,263 I don't smoke pot. I take pain pills. I got pain, for chrissake. 85 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,599 Look at my socks. What are they doing...? 86 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,601 - Those are your socks. - I know they are. 87 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,729 Why are they on the phone? My pants are on the chandelier. 88 00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,647 - You threw them there last week. - I was in a horny mood. 89 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,693 It's all over the place. It's like a beer-can collection. 90 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:07,530 - It's not a big deal. You don't work that hard. - I thought of putting it away. 91 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,409 Well, why don't you put it away? Why don't you take the stuff, put it in...? 92 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,076 Sit down, will you? 93 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:21,127 Now, do you want to hear my thinking on this? 94 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:25,547 If I just let things pile up long enough, we won't be able to find each other. 95 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:29,260 And if you can't find me, you can't have me. 96 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,725 - That makes sense. Ha, ha. - Yes. 97 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,392 Sonny... 98 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,310 I'm not asking for miracles. 99 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:42,481 If you could just get the beer cans, say, 25 feet from... 100 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,526 Ten feet from the trash can. Ten feet. 101 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,660 It's close enough. I'm yours. 102 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:03,710 - Is your back okay, really? - It's fine. 103 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:07,723 - Did you want to walk on it? - No, I want you to crawl under it. 104 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:18,059 All right, we're ready down here. Could we clear the area, please? 105 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,977 - Don't stand in front of the cameras. - You're a brave doggy. 106 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,440 - Right here? - Put your hand right through there. 107 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,358 - You guys ready on the roof? - Working on it. 108 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,611 - It's tied off? Okay. - Tied off. 109 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,114 - I love danger. - Okay, we're ready down here. 110 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,781 Okay, don't look down now. 111 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,910 - Roll the cameras! - Five, six on all cameras. 112 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,413 - A camera mark. - B camera mark. 113 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,455 Okay. Action! 114 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:44,753 Cut, cut! Sensational, Adam! 115 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,713 Rest for a minute. 116 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,715 - Good job there, Adam. - Was I all right? 117 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,301 Help Mr. West down the steps. 118 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:55,721 All right, now, let's get set up for this stunt. Let's move it. Move it! 119 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,932 - Good morning. - Hey, Sonny, how are you? 120 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,643 - Morning, dwarf. - Clever. You ready? 121 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:04,230 - Where's "Mr. Movie"? Oh, good morning. - Right here. Good morning. 122 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,816 Now, as I was telling you the other day, Hooper... 123 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,985 in this scene you'll be escaping across the roof with the dog. 124 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,697 The dog? Why do I have a dog? 125 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:17,160 Just do the stunts like I tell you. Let me worry about the creativity, okay? 126 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,996 Now, about halfway through, the sling will break... 127 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,749 and down you will come, dog and all. 128 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,627 And I'll pick up Adam falling off the awning. It's simple. 129 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,213 If it's so simple, why don't we have the actor do it? 130 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,799 - I'd like that in one take, Hooper. - I hope so. 131 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,966 - Okay, people, let's go. - Just a minute. 132 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,885 Sonny, do you remember me? 133 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:38,389 - Bidwell from the Humane Society. - Oh, hi. 134 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:42,727 - No dog is gonna fall from that. - No, sir. We have a dummy dog. 135 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:47,315 The sequence is King riding with Sonny here, and then we cut... 136 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,108 and substitute the dummy dog for the actual fall. 137 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,403 I don't know. I don't like the whole setup. 138 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,947 I don't like it either. I'm the one that's got to do the falling. 139 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,991 But you made that decision for yourself. 140 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,079 - The poor dog can't make that decision. - Don't worry, sir. 141 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:05,667 The company is very eager to comply with all Humane Society regulations. 142 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:09,462 - So we really must be going now. - Good to see you again, George. 143 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:13,215 As you can see, the dummy dog wouldn't fool anybody. 144 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:16,385 - It wouldn't fool me. - The realie will take the fall with you. 145 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,929 - Oh, for chrissake. - There's my man. 146 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:22,016 - Make me look great, Sonny. - I'll make you look great, Adam. 147 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:26,146 You can't use a real dog, Tony, for chrissake. He can't hit an airbag. 148 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,231 Maybe you can teach him on the way down. 149 00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,441 - Do me a favor, will you? - Yeah, what is it? 150 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:33,528 - Bring me a stepladder about this high. - Yeah, what for? 151 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,321 I want you to climb up on it and kiss my ass. 152 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,535 See you later, Toulouse! 153 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:48,751 All right, people, when Mr. Wonderful gets on his perch... 154 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,463 let's all be ready. 155 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,302 Okay, people, we're ready. Clear it fast. Get ready on the roof. 156 00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:01,472 - Good man. - How are you guys today? 157 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,850 - Morning. - How you doing? 158 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,767 It's all yours. 159 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:10,355 - Okay, all set there, Sonny? - Hooper! 160 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:13,274 People are growing old down here. 161 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:17,241 One second. You're waiting on me, you're backing up! 162 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,789 Give me the pooch. 163 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:27,540 - Okay. Got it? - Nice doggy. Time for a little ride. 164 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,082 Roll the cameras. 165 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:32,127 - Mark central camera. - Make it good, Hooper. 166 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:46,725 Cut! Print it. 167 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,603 New setup over here. 168 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:54,483 I'll make you an official stunt dog. Cully, get this dog a belt buckle. 169 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:57,070 - Nice going, Sonny. - You all right? 170 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,363 - Yeah, I'm all right. Yeah. - Really? 171 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,951 I'm fine. 172 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,996 - You hit like a sack. Are you okay? - I suppose you thought that was cute. 173 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,289 What happened to the cut? The dummy dog? 174 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:13,335 What the hell are you getting on his case for? He risked his life for that dog. 175 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,003 Use the realie. More realistic. 176 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,171 Do it in one take. Impress the director. 177 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,841 Tony said that's what you were gonna do and you did it. 178 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:24,137 Well, we're gonna be pressing formal charges against you, Sonny. You... 179 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,398 That little runt. 180 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,236 That's one I owe him. 181 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,236 You got your kit? 182 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,862 It's in the trailer. 183 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,496 - Well, let's go to the trailer. - I knew it. 184 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,828 Do you know what I'd do if I met the man that invented Xylocaine? 185 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,204 What? 186 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:51,122 I would kiss his ass right on Hollywood and Vine. 187 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:55,294 Ha, ha. I knew you were hurt the minute you hit that bag. 188 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,088 - But you had to protect the dog. - I love dogs. 189 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,341 - Let's go to the doctor's. - I hate doctors. 190 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,302 You ain't scared of nothing. 191 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,054 - Why are you scared of doctors? - Scared of dentists too. 192 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,140 I'll tell you what you're scared of. 193 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,601 - You're scared of what he's gonna tell you. - Oh, balls. Balls! Balls! 194 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,687 You're gonna have to see him eventually. 195 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,731 I'll buy the drink I was gonna buy you last night... 196 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,942 if you'll just do me your Jimmy Stewart imitation. 197 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,484 Just a little Jimmy Stewart for me. 198 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,778 That's... That's a good deal. 199 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:25,408 I'll do Jimmy Stewart, and you do Roy Rogers' sidekick. 200 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,325 - Roy's sidekick. - Yeah. 201 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,705 Roy is a good old boy, but he... 202 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,622 He had Trigger stuffed, you know? 203 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,585 So when you die, I'm gonna have you stuffed. 204 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,794 You wouldn't. 205 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,587 I'm gonna stuff everything but your old wing-dinger. 206 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:43,593 - That's the part that needs stuffing. - You ought to stuff that every night. 207 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:46,261 I'll leave that up to you. I'm a little too old for it. 208 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,930 - Well, I ain't gonna hold it. - No. Hell, no. 209 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,767 Banker's hours, eh, Sonny? 210 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:54,395 - Sonny, it's early for the Palomino, isn't it? - Not for me, old cock. 211 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:58,030 - I'll tell you what, that job was perfect. - Good shot, good shot. 212 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,533 - Hello, Jimbo. - How you doing, Sonny? 213 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,831 What you doing out here with my lady when I'm not around? That's dangerous. 214 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:17,125 - Not as dangerous as doing stunts. - Yes, it is. 215 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,754 What can I do for you, pard? 216 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:23,007 I just wanted to make sure you're doing that charity stunt show. 217 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,260 Oh, I'd love to, but I'm going on a motocross. 218 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,427 It's for the benefit of the Boys' Home. 219 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:32,517 That's real touching, but I'm gonna get on my bike and go across the desert. 220 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:35,686 I've got somebody who'd really like to meet you. Idolizes you. 221 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:39,481 - Knows everything you've ever done. - Who's that? 222 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,609 One of the boys from the home. 223 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,526 I'll just get him. 224 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,448 - Why didn't he bring violins? - Honey, it's a boy from the Boys' Home. 225 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,326 They need someone to pattern their lives after, you know? 226 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,370 - Yeah, what a cheap shot. - Pete, meet Sonny. 227 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,413 - Hi, Pete. - Sonny, how you doing? 228 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,832 Real good. How you doing? 229 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,709 - Fine. Guess what. - What? 230 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,670 - I can do a stunt. - You can do a stunt? 231 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,837 - Yeah. - Let me see it. 232 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,969 - Okay, get on there. Shoot him. - Move it. 233 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,847 - Do what? - Shoot him. 234 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,223 - Move it. - Bang. 235 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:19,111 That's terrific, but I'm going on the motocross Saturday. 236 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:24,401 Well, I guess I'll just have to give your gags to that hot new kid with Stunts Unlimited. 237 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:28,239 - Oh, yeah? How old are you, kid? - I'm still dead. 238 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,906 Oh. Right, yeah. 239 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,700 Well, you don't have to be dead anymore. How old are you? 240 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,372 - I'm 18. - Eight. 241 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:39,709 - Yeah. - Okay, I'll be there Saturday. 242 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,794 - Great! - Ha, ha. 243 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,465 Give me five! 244 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,759 - See you Saturday. - Thanks, Sonny. You're all heart. 245 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,426 Yeah. 246 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,515 Sonny. What a wonderful gesture. 247 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,809 - Ah, I'm a wonderful person. - Aw. 248 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,564 Welcome to the 5th Annual Stuntmen's Benefit Show... 249 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,027 and up the street to your left, here they come! 250 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,942 Giddyap! 251 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:20,333 And pay attention to the stagecoach driver, Billy Burton... 252 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,217 the best muleskinner in Hollywood. 253 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,432 I see you liked it. 254 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,511 Hey, lady. 255 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,516 - Oh. Hello, Dad. - Where'd you get all them house apes? 256 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,685 Kids. Where are my kids here? This is my father. 257 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,437 Hi. 258 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,979 Sonny coming with Dancer? 259 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,692 Yeah. You know why he's here, don't you? Have you seen that new kid work? 260 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,360 Now that son of a bitch knows how I felt when he came... 261 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:53,241 - Dad! The language. - What? Oh. Shit. Sorry. Damn. 262 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,950 Ignore him. He's a degenerate. 263 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,970 Now, how about a big round of applause for these two young ladies? 264 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:18,015 That's all the pay they're gonna get. 265 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:22,686 Look out, it's Black Bart, the meanest hombre west of the Pecos. 266 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:27,316 What we need now is a hero who can stop him. 267 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:30,530 - Yee! - And here he is, just in time! 268 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:44,795 That man is one of the true legends of the stunt world, Mr. Jocko Doyle! 269 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:55,886 Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, the greatest stuntman alive: 270 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:59,265 Sonny Hooper and his famous horse, Dancer! 271 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,100 They've never let us down. 272 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,986 They've performed in every benefit we've ever had. 273 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:13,611 Whose damn truck is that parked right in the middle of everything? 274 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,740 That belongs to the kid. 275 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,242 Well, where is this hot kid I've been hearing so much about? 276 00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:23,664 We better back up a little bit, or he's gonna drop right on us. 277 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,081 Oh, shit. 278 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,092 Hey, not too shabby. 279 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:19,595 The chariot race is coming up, kid. Go put your Fruit of the Looms on. 280 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,762 I'm on my way. 281 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:30,564 The chariot race is next. This ought to be a wreck. 282 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:34,199 - Who's racing against the kid? - Hammerhead. 283 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:36,903 Hammerhead? 284 00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:40,331 - How are you, Sonny? - Hi, Hammerhead. 285 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,576 What's the matter? What...? 286 00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:45,037 What are you looking at? 287 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,872 You've got a nice tush... 288 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,875 but shouldn't you have something on underneath this thing? 289 00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:52,586 - Like what? - Like shorts. 290 00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:56,090 This is all they gave me. And besides, I don't ever wear shorts. 291 00:21:56,190 --> 00:22:00,556 What if you have a wreck? What if you turn over and it falls out? 292 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,013 It ain't gonna fall out. 293 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:05,766 Yeah, but what if it does? What if it falls out? 294 00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,480 All the stunt guys are gonna be embarrassed. 295 00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:12,982 I'll tell you what, you can go to my trailer, get a pair of my shorts. 296 00:22:13,082 --> 00:22:16,485 You can put them on. I'll watch the team for you while you're gone. 297 00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,778 Hey, thanks, Sonny. 298 00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:22,244 When I get done with the shorts, I'll have them washed. 299 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,957 Get ready for the chariot race, kids. 300 00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:32,796 Everybody will have to pick your own hero. 301 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,127 Hey, nice fall you did back there. 302 00:22:35,229 --> 00:22:36,839 I'll be. Sonny Hooper. 303 00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:40,258 - I've waited a year and a half to meet you. - Oh, yeah? 304 00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:44,680 - What happened to Hammerhead? - Oh, he was feeling poorly. 305 00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:47,481 Bad for him, good for me. 306 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:51,312 - How's that? - I get to perform with Sonny Hooper. 307 00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:52,813 Oh, hell, that ain't no big deal... 308 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,401 Hyah! Hyah! 309 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:01,824 Come on, baby! 310 00:23:22,151 --> 00:23:23,593 Come on! 311 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,900 Move it! 312 00:23:40,377 --> 00:23:42,570 Whoa! Whoa! 313 00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:10,227 Wait a minute, Jimbo. 314 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:18,856 Caca, Dancer. Caca, caca, caca. 315 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:29,075 - Beautiful, wasn't it? Round and firm... - Hey, let's go to the Palomino Club. 316 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:31,787 Had a yellow streak running through them. 317 00:24:31,887 --> 00:24:35,416 - Pretty good trick, Sonny. - Kid, you know how to make an entrance. 318 00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:38,835 - I'm Jocko Doyle. - Pleased to meet you, Mr. Doyle. 319 00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,547 I've studied just about everything you've ever done. 320 00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,549 Well, that's back in the caveman days. 321 00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:46,760 - You looked good today. Didn't he look good? - Yeah, he looked good. 322 00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:50,389 - Want to go to the Palomino Club? - How far did you fall? 323 00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:53,642 - It was about 125 feet. - What's the furthest I've ever fallen? 324 00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:57,812 - Oh, maybe 150 feet. - No, I think it was about 85 feet. 325 00:24:57,913 --> 00:25:00,816 Wasn't it more like 75 in Bullet? 326 00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:03,569 Looks like he studied you too. 327 00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:05,532 We'd better go to the Palomino Club. 328 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:13,581 Go ahead, Jimbo! 329 00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:28,384 I'm really dry! 330 00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:34,183 Hey, it's lonely! 331 00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:37,568 - We're coming over! - Come on with that cerveza! 332 00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:48,405 Goddamn! That son of a bitch didn't even say thank you! 333 00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:50,447 Where is that beer? 334 00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:02,710 Hey. Sonny! 335 00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:06,255 - Anybody in there need a beer? - Jocko needs a beer. 336 00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:11,018 - My arms aren't long enough! - That's no problem. Wait here. 337 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,744 Pretty fancy! 338 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,910 Let me see your license, please. 339 00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:50,634 - Shall I wait, officer? - Yeah. No. Do whatever you want! 340 00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:13,364 Hey! What do you think you're doing? 341 00:27:14,216 --> 00:27:17,244 - We're just going backwards. - Pull that thing over! 342 00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:20,247 - Do what? - Right over there by the curb. 343 00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:21,999 Okay. 344 00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:24,376 I don't believe I was going over 55. 345 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,962 You were going 55 backwards. 346 00:27:27,062 --> 00:27:30,591 - Well, that's not against the law, is it? - Unsafe backing. 347 00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:33,930 - Silly law. - It's still the law. 348 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,762 - Sign here, please. - All right. 349 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,892 - Here's your license. - Thank you. 350 00:27:43,287 --> 00:27:45,730 - Here's your ticket. - See you around. 351 00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:54,990 Have a good trip! 352 00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:58,368 - Happy landings! - Have a nice day, officer! 353 00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:28,899 Oh, would you move on over, Mama? 354 00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:32,034 Come on and make some room for me 355 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:38,374 Jump in the back of my old Pontiac And I'll drive you to Tennessee 356 00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:43,963 I'll push the pedal down to the floor Turn the radio up all the way 357 00:28:45,182 --> 00:28:50,094 Keep this car in overdrive And we'll let that rock 'n' roll play 358 00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:52,509 Go 359 00:28:57,903 --> 00:29:01,557 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. We appreciate it. Thank you. 360 00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:05,852 We'll be right back. Stick around, get drunk and be somebody. Thank you. 361 00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:26,121 It's called 75 in a second. And he says, "Where's that damn dog now?" 362 00:29:26,223 --> 00:29:29,383 He's right alongside. He's: 363 00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:33,754 He said, "Well, shit, I'll just jam it." And he just floors it! 364 00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:36,884 Will you shut up? I'm trying to tell... 365 00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:39,970 - That table sure is loud over there. - Making a lot of noise. 366 00:29:40,070 --> 00:29:44,224 Old Blue's right alongside. And this goddamn truck comes across. 367 00:29:44,324 --> 00:29:48,103 I got 50 cents in the jukebox. I can't hear it. Let's go get our money's worth. 368 00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:51,898 The old man says, "Well, that's his asshole. See, he ain't used to them quick stunts." 369 00:29:57,087 --> 00:29:59,029 Say, Granddad. 370 00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:03,952 Hey, Granddad, I got 50 cents in that jukebox, and all I can hear is your mouth flapping. 371 00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:06,495 What'd you say, son? I'm a mite deaf. 372 00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:08,999 I said, I got 50 cents in that jukebox... 373 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:12,377 and all I can hear is your mouth flapping. Did you hear that? 374 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:15,964 - Now, we figure you owe us 50 cents. - You guys from out of town? 375 00:30:16,064 --> 00:30:18,717 - Uh-huh. Houston. - Oh, yeah? What are you doing here? 376 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:22,429 - A convention. - Convention? What kind of convention? 377 00:30:22,529 --> 00:30:23,595 Convention of assholes? 378 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:29,937 - Ha-ha-ha. Thank you. - A SWAT convention. 379 00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:31,228 Oh. 380 00:30:31,330 --> 00:30:32,689 A SWAT convention. 381 00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:36,108 A SWAT team? They gonna swat flies? Ha-ha-ha. 382 00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:38,111 You know how to save a policeman from drowning? 383 00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:39,277 - No. - Good! 384 00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:43,949 What about my 50 cents? 385 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:47,913 - Stanley! - Yeah. 386 00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,627 - Can I borrow your hard hat? - Sure. 387 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,300 I'll get you your 50 cents. Excuse me. 388 00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:02,427 Looks like a job for the Golden Helmet. 389 00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:29,079 Well, if you wanted to make somebody look like an asshole, boy, you sure did. 390 00:31:29,179 --> 00:31:30,962 That was you. 391 00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:38,012 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. 392 00:31:39,356 --> 00:31:40,798 Six against 12. 393 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:43,763 Seven. 394 00:31:45,195 --> 00:31:46,722 Seven against 12. 395 00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:48,473 Well... 396 00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,684 looks like it's a little uneven. 397 00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:53,352 You guys will have to go back to Houston and get some more guys. 398 00:32:15,058 --> 00:32:17,217 We may be in trouble. 399 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:26,138 We are definitely in trouble. 400 00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:42,614 Holy shit! A fight! 401 00:32:43,336 --> 00:32:45,199 What's that? 402 00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:47,663 Wait, wait, wait. 403 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:01,046 Give me a hand, will you? 404 00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:03,305 Cute. Really cute. 405 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:06,557 Oh, how rude! 406 00:33:07,110 --> 00:33:09,052 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 407 00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:14,065 Look out now! Oh! 408 00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:17,311 We're getting a little old for this shit, ain't we? 409 00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:19,900 That's right. Let's go get some sexy... Ooh! 410 00:33:35,764 --> 00:33:39,376 Listen, fudge nuts, you ain't ever gonna learn, are you, dummy? 411 00:33:39,476 --> 00:33:43,088 Willard! Jeffrey! Get this son of a bitch! 412 00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:57,776 It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Super Hooper! 413 00:34:23,353 --> 00:34:25,921 Oh, well. Another night, no profits. 414 00:34:26,022 --> 00:34:28,508 Huell! Get out there and stop that. 415 00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:30,596 - Yes, ma'am. You bet. - Get them, Huell! 416 00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:37,770 Bouncers! Throw them out. 417 00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:55,744 God dang! Isn't that fun? Ha-ha-ha. Whoo! 418 00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:57,746 - Let's go back in! - Are you crazy? 419 00:34:57,846 --> 00:35:01,461 - Let's just talk about it a minute. - Oh, what are you talking about? 420 00:35:08,023 --> 00:35:10,926 You were really graceful in there tonight, kid. 421 00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:13,093 Where'd you learn to fight like that? 422 00:35:13,194 --> 00:35:15,762 - Ha-ha-ha. - I was on the Olympic boxing team. 423 00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:18,391 I'll show you how to throw a man out of here! 424 00:35:18,491 --> 00:35:21,184 I've been getting thrown out of here since... Aah! 425 00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:23,396 ...before you were goddamn born! 426 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:25,780 All right, all right. 427 00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:29,444 These fights ain't worth a shit anymore. 428 00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:31,577 Kid, what's your name? 429 00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:34,824 Delmore Shidski. 430 00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:37,410 - What's that last name again? - Shidski. 431 00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:41,498 - How do you spell that? - Are you kidding me? 432 00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,291 - Huh? S-H-I-D... - S-K-I. 433 00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:46,002 Well, we'll just call him Ski. 434 00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:50,297 Hey, the night's too quiet and it's too young to quit! 435 00:35:53,193 --> 00:35:55,636 It is too damn mean in there. 436 00:35:55,737 --> 00:35:59,140 Let's go someplace else. Let's go get some loving. 437 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,977 - Thanks a lot, Tim. All right. - Catch you next time. 438 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:04,104 Shit. That wasn't any kind of fight. 439 00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:07,107 Let's go on up to the ranch and show them your stunt reels. 440 00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:08,694 Hey, pretty! 441 00:36:09,459 --> 00:36:12,195 - Yeah. Would you like to see it? - Yeah, I would. 442 00:36:12,295 --> 00:36:15,198 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 443 00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:21,078 Wait a minute! It's 1:30 in the morning! 444 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:24,541 You whip up some eggs for the guys and we'll have a little party. 445 00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:27,752 We'll just drink. What the hell. We're gonna have a party at my house. 446 00:37:23,992 --> 00:37:25,769 It always leaves them speechless. 447 00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:30,732 - That was great, Sonny. - Thank you. 448 00:37:30,832 --> 00:37:33,234 Looks like you've done every gag there ever was. 449 00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:35,487 Well... 450 00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:39,247 - me and Jocko... - Yeah! Believe I will. 451 00:37:40,550 --> 00:37:44,454 Me and Jocko, we... We never turned down a stunt. 452 00:37:44,554 --> 00:37:46,166 No. 453 00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:48,627 Never turned down a gag. 454 00:37:49,476 --> 00:37:51,753 I had it in my will once... 455 00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:56,215 - ...I thought I was gonna, uh... - Die. 456 00:37:56,316 --> 00:38:00,636 I'd have something to leave, and I put it in the will. I said... 457 00:38:00,737 --> 00:38:03,348 I wanted it on the cement, on the thing... 458 00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:05,390 - Tombstone. - Tombstone! 459 00:38:05,492 --> 00:38:08,310 "Jocko Doyle never turned down a gag." See? 460 00:38:09,579 --> 00:38:11,396 - Perfect. - That was... Been a hell of an idea. 461 00:38:11,498 --> 00:38:12,857 Perfect, perfect, perfect. 462 00:38:14,501 --> 00:38:16,443 Once I turned down... 463 00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:18,987 What I did turn down was everything else... 464 00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:23,454 but then, shit, gotta keep the good times rolling. 465 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,915 Is that why you did it all? Because of the good times? 466 00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:32,794 Well, you don't wanna knock good times, kid. I mean... 467 00:38:32,894 --> 00:38:35,337 I get so damn old, I'm just... 468 00:38:35,438 --> 00:38:39,508 sitting in my rocking chair on a porch, I wanna have same nice memories. 469 00:38:39,609 --> 00:38:42,302 What the hell else is there? 470 00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:44,846 I don't know, just, uh... 471 00:38:44,948 --> 00:38:47,766 Maybe prove certain things can be done or that... 472 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:50,145 a man can do just about anything he puts his mind to. 473 00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:54,481 That is too deep for me. 474 00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:59,198 Sun! The sun's come up! It's daylight! 475 00:39:17,105 --> 00:39:19,423 - Hey. - Mm. 476 00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:23,011 You ought to drink more. Nothing hurts when you're numb. 477 00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:32,187 - Where's the kid? - He's standing in there... 478 00:39:32,287 --> 00:39:35,982 staring avariciously into your trophy case... 479 00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:38,525 little trickles of slobber running down here. 480 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:48,244 It's so goddamn funny. You weren't a hell of a lot different a few years ago. 481 00:39:48,344 --> 00:39:50,161 - Twenty years ago. - Twenty years ago. 482 00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:55,001 Your little eyes were spinning around, beady... 483 00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,086 looking for fame and fortune. 484 00:39:57,186 --> 00:39:59,629 - Shit. - Ha-ha-ha. 485 00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:05,678 And I know damn well too. I was sitting there making $20,000 a year... 486 00:40:05,778 --> 00:40:08,431 as the top dog around this place. 487 00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:12,143 Every time I look over my shoulder, there you are jumping up and down... 488 00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:15,730 figuring out some way you can top whatever gag I did. 489 00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:18,483 - Well? - Well? 490 00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:19,984 Well, you gonna marry my daughter? 491 00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:26,574 Oh. Goddamn, Jocko. I was married once. You know that. It was a disaster. I... 492 00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:31,620 I felt like a failure, you know? I'm scared to death of marriage. 493 00:40:31,721 --> 00:40:35,333 Besides that, nobody's getting married today anyway. 494 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:38,251 - Who ain't getting married? - Nobody's getting married! 495 00:40:38,353 --> 00:40:41,840 Name me somebody that ain't getting married. Name me two people. 496 00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,675 Everybody's... People getting... 497 00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:46,010 Faggots are getting married, for chrissake. 498 00:40:46,110 --> 00:40:48,894 What the hell do you mean, nobody's getting married? Eh. 499 00:40:49,405 --> 00:40:51,266 I love her, Jocko... 500 00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:53,684 but I gotta do things in my own time. 501 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,813 - You're a horny son of a bitch. - I gotta do things my own way. 502 00:40:56,913 --> 00:40:59,065 Yeah, well, that's what I done, see? 503 00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:03,736 In my time, my way. I wasn't even home when she was born. 504 00:41:05,213 --> 00:41:06,655 Listen, you. 505 00:41:07,674 --> 00:41:10,159 Didn't you ever want that? 506 00:41:10,259 --> 00:41:16,798 Haven't you ever been with Gwen when you wanted to have a baby? Huh? 507 00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:20,128 Did you ever have that feeling? 508 00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:22,091 All the time, Jocko. 509 00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:24,923 All the time. 510 00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:27,093 Listen, Roger, we gotta have a talk. 511 00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:29,304 The studio's bugging me about the budget. 512 00:41:29,404 --> 00:41:30,470 Later, Max. 513 00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:35,016 I've got to get this first shot. Tony, let's set up this first one, okay? 514 00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:36,435 Listen, Roger. 515 00:41:37,662 --> 00:41:39,314 Medic! 516 00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:41,356 Oh. Thank you, my love. 517 00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:46,446 Ah! Thank you. 518 00:41:46,546 --> 00:41:48,281 - Good morning, Mr. Berns. - Hi, Max. 519 00:41:48,381 --> 00:41:51,199 - Why, that punk. Who? Roger. - Who? 520 00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:54,412 If his last picture hadn't grossed $100 million, I'd kick his ass. 521 00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:57,415 Do it! We've been waiting for months for you to kick his ass. 522 00:41:57,515 --> 00:41:59,125 You guys look like garbage. 523 00:41:59,225 --> 00:42:01,836 You should see through my eyes. It's Metrocolor. 524 00:42:01,936 --> 00:42:05,130 I've just got a little headache. You think we're bad, you should see...! 525 00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:06,673 Don't yell in my ear. Jesus Christ! 526 00:42:08,234 --> 00:42:09,300 What the hell is that? 527 00:42:10,737 --> 00:42:12,930 Look what's coming. 528 00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:17,058 Stop that thing! Shoot it! Kill it! 529 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,313 - Want some breakfast? - Oh! God. Get that circumcised, will you? 530 00:42:20,413 --> 00:42:24,108 - What are you doing here? What? - Reporting for work. 531 00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:26,569 - Reporting for work. - To work? 532 00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:28,987 Yeah. You told me last night to come to work. 533 00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:31,656 - Did I do that? - I don't remember that. 534 00:42:31,758 --> 00:42:34,661 - Oh. - You were pretty bombed. Want me to leave? 535 00:42:34,761 --> 00:42:38,456 No. No, I don't want you to leave. We'll find you some work. 536 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:40,583 All right, everybody's ready now. 537 00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:42,876 - Roll the cameras. - Cameras ready. 538 00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:45,420 - Marking able. - And maker. 539 00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:46,923 All right, background! Action! 540 00:42:57,075 --> 00:42:58,767 Cut it! Cut it! 541 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:06,900 Okay? 542 00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:09,194 Didn't do a thing for me, Hooper. 543 00:43:09,295 --> 00:43:10,947 Missed by a mile. 544 00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:13,240 Boring, boring, boring. 545 00:43:13,341 --> 00:43:16,910 I'm not a mind reader, Roger. If you tell me what you want, I'll do it. 546 00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:19,747 Look, you're the stunt gaffer, so gaff. 547 00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:22,791 I've got an idea. Would take some time, though. 548 00:43:22,892 --> 00:43:26,587 - Who are you? - He's a new man. Ski. He's a good man. 549 00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:29,175 Anything will be better than that, so let's try one. 550 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:33,510 Thanks to the kid here, the Polack, we have to sit around waiting for night to shoot. 551 00:43:35,738 --> 00:43:38,056 Gives me time to get over my hangover. 552 00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:39,809 Guys, it's Roger's birthday. 553 00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:41,942 Oh. 554 00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:45,772 I thought maybe we could all think of something to give him? 555 00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:46,983 How about VD? 556 00:43:48,501 --> 00:43:52,739 Oh, I got an idea. I know something perfect for him. Everybody cough up a little money. 557 00:43:52,839 --> 00:43:55,532 Happy birthday, Roger 558 00:43:55,633 --> 00:43:58,995 Watch your feet, guys. 559 00:43:59,095 --> 00:44:03,833 Well, what more can I say? I'm very, very touched, and thank you. 560 00:44:11,607 --> 00:44:15,386 This fire scene is very dangerous. We want everybody on their toes. 561 00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:17,472 We don't want anybody hurt. 562 00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:19,182 Okay, action! 563 00:44:19,282 --> 00:44:22,018 - Remember, that's gasoline in there, Sonny. - Right. 564 00:44:22,118 --> 00:44:24,729 - Be careful. - Bless your cock. 565 00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:52,632 Hello, gorgeous. 566 00:44:52,732 --> 00:44:56,597 - Sonny, will you get me out of here? - You bet your sweet bippy. 567 00:44:57,653 --> 00:44:59,971 - Sonny, will you get serious! - No time for that. 568 00:45:02,825 --> 00:45:06,190 Are they okay? I can't see through the flame. 569 00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:11,232 Cut it! Cut it! 570 00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:14,320 Are you guys waiting for an invitation to put that fire out? 571 00:45:14,420 --> 00:45:15,571 L.A.'s got enough smog. 572 00:45:15,671 --> 00:45:17,363 Oh. 573 00:45:17,506 --> 00:45:20,618 You know, Sonny, I love stuntmen. 574 00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:24,872 Let's get that fire out. I want everybody to stay back here. 575 00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:28,041 - Don't get near those flames. - Tony. 576 00:45:28,142 --> 00:45:30,630 Get Hooper over here for me, will you? 577 00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:46,644 Uh, Hooper, that bit at the complex tomorrow... 578 00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:49,272 - ...who's set for it? - Bobby Bass. 579 00:45:49,372 --> 00:45:52,737 Hmm. Would you mind if Ski did it instead? 580 00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:55,486 Yes, I would mind, Roger. Uh... 581 00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,864 I'm the stunt coordinator on this picture... 582 00:45:57,964 --> 00:46:00,407 and I say who does and who doesn't do the stunts. 583 00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:02,291 And I'd like Bobby Bass. 584 00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:06,538 Hmm. Well, I don't want to infringe on your authority... 585 00:46:06,639 --> 00:46:11,380 but I really would like Ski to do that gag, okay? 586 00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:24,223 Six-three, Louis. 587 00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:27,560 Okay, everybody, we're ready to make one. Roll the cameras! 588 00:46:27,660 --> 00:46:29,443 Speed! A camera. 589 00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:32,521 Baker! 590 00:46:34,417 --> 00:46:36,029 Action! 591 00:46:45,469 --> 00:46:48,287 Cut it! Bring the stuntman out here, please. 592 00:46:49,849 --> 00:46:52,337 Great, Kent! Go downstairs, relax. Wonderful. 593 00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:54,837 Hey, good luck, Ski. 594 00:46:54,937 --> 00:46:58,549 All right, you gotta make him look good. Okay? All the preparation you need. 595 00:46:58,649 --> 00:47:01,638 - We'll go down and set up the cameras. - You got it. 596 00:47:03,404 --> 00:47:07,975 All right, people, we're in the wrong place. Now move it all downstairs. 597 00:47:08,075 --> 00:47:10,108 Let's go! Let's move it! 598 00:47:12,413 --> 00:47:14,649 You ready, Ski? 599 00:47:14,749 --> 00:47:16,737 He'll be ready in a second. 600 00:47:22,631 --> 00:47:24,492 Tony, he's ready! 601 00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:26,159 - Roll the cameras! - Speed! 602 00:47:26,260 --> 00:47:28,168 B camera marker. 603 00:47:28,679 --> 00:47:30,667 Come on, good buddy. 604 00:47:40,608 --> 00:47:42,801 Not too shabby. 605 00:47:42,902 --> 00:47:44,810 No, that's pretty good. 606 00:47:45,404 --> 00:47:47,765 We could've done that when we were his age... 607 00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:50,479 except they didn't have buildings that tall. 608 00:48:11,138 --> 00:48:13,124 Cut it! Cut it! 609 00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:19,087 You have to admit he's pretty damn good. 610 00:48:19,188 --> 00:48:21,756 - Yeah, I have to admit it. - Pretty damn young too. 611 00:48:21,857 --> 00:48:24,218 Yeah, I hate him. I just hate him. 612 00:48:25,778 --> 00:48:27,470 - Handsome little shit. - Ugh. 613 00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:29,810 Well? 614 00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:33,517 I thought it was a little slow. 615 00:48:33,619 --> 00:48:38,155 If you don't mind, uh, I'd like to have another one. Okay? 616 00:48:38,749 --> 00:48:40,191 Are you kidding me? 617 00:48:40,668 --> 00:48:42,069 Yeah, I'm kidding. 618 00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:47,031 Come around tomorrow. I'll show you how an old man does it. 619 00:49:43,147 --> 00:49:45,715 - Here you go, Sonny. - Thanks, Don. 620 00:49:59,079 --> 00:50:00,940 We're all ready, Hooper. 621 00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,530 A little air in the air bag would help, numb-nuts. 622 00:50:05,711 --> 00:50:07,321 Get that filled up! 623 00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:08,908 Sonny! 624 00:50:09,381 --> 00:50:11,492 - Are you crazy? Huh? - What? 625 00:50:11,592 --> 00:50:14,620 - I just talked to that helicopter pilot. - So? 626 00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:16,787 Well, how high are you gonna drop? 627 00:50:16,889 --> 00:50:19,917 - What's the world record? - Two twenty-three. 628 00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:22,005 I'll go 224. 629 00:50:43,415 --> 00:50:44,732 Roll the cameras! 630 00:50:44,833 --> 00:50:46,400 Action! 631 00:51:04,103 --> 00:51:05,713 Pull me in, Jeffrey! Pull me in! 632 00:51:08,899 --> 00:51:10,432 Whoa. 633 00:51:12,528 --> 00:51:16,056 I hope nothing happens to this dinner jacket. Man, I want to keep this. 634 00:51:16,156 --> 00:51:19,018 - Whoo! You look like a head waiter. - I am. 635 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:03,937 Geronimo! 636 00:52:32,274 --> 00:52:34,842 You've got another world record for your books, buddy. 637 00:52:34,943 --> 00:52:37,054 How about a can of Coors? Huh? 638 00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:39,431 Sonny, you can jump on my mattress any time. 639 00:52:39,531 --> 00:52:41,392 - Fantastic. - You're great, Sonny. 640 00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:43,477 - Terrific, Sonny. - Hooper, it was nice. 641 00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:45,895 - You're through for the day. - I'm proud of you. 642 00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:48,814 I bet that air bag didn't look that... 643 00:52:48,916 --> 00:52:53,157 Without causing any commotion, I want to go see the doctor. 644 00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:55,281 About the same thing. Another tropism. 645 00:52:55,381 --> 00:52:58,284 We've got a coronal-facing here and another sagittal-facing here... 646 00:52:58,384 --> 00:53:00,619 two areas of instability... 647 00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:03,831 within the space of around two or three lumbar vertebrae. 648 00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:07,585 Now, if we go over here, as you can see, this is the articulating facet. 649 00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:11,714 This is a coronal-facing here, and this is a sagittal-facing over here. 650 00:53:11,814 --> 00:53:14,717 This gives a very unstable low-back condition. 651 00:53:14,817 --> 00:53:16,468 How's my cockus erectus? 652 00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:19,512 - If you'll hold on to it for a minute, I'll finish. - Fine. 653 00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:25,481 All of these conditions make it look like you're having a preosteoporotic condition. 654 00:53:27,579 --> 00:53:30,983 Frankly, Sonny, it doesn't look too promising. 655 00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:35,528 Hell, I thought I had a problem till you explained it. Now I'm not worried anymore. 656 00:53:35,629 --> 00:53:38,157 Christ, I was really proud of that operation. 657 00:53:38,257 --> 00:53:40,950 The average person, it would have lasted them for a lifetime. 658 00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:42,993 - Hmm. - But not with you. 659 00:53:43,095 --> 00:53:44,997 Why do you keep on screwing up all my good work? 660 00:53:45,097 --> 00:53:47,290 Ha, ha. You should be paying me. 661 00:53:47,391 --> 00:53:50,669 Half of what you know you learned from wiring me together. 662 00:53:50,769 --> 00:53:52,586 What have you got, a death wish? 663 00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:55,716 Look who's talking. These things are nails in your coffin. 664 00:53:55,816 --> 00:53:57,551 - Jesus. - I'm cutting way down. 665 00:53:57,651 --> 00:53:59,762 Ha-ha-ha. I hope so. 666 00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:01,764 - Look, Sonny, I'm serious. - Good. 667 00:54:01,864 --> 00:54:04,391 You can't keep bashing your backbone... 668 00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:07,309 and expect to go walking around like a normal person. 669 00:54:07,411 --> 00:54:10,689 Listen, I can handle it. I'm a tough guy. You know what I mean? 670 00:54:10,789 --> 00:54:13,778 Give it to me, sweetheart. Don't pull any punches. 671 00:54:14,334 --> 00:54:16,111 The kid can take it. 672 00:54:16,211 --> 00:54:19,530 The kid could take it. Only you're not a kid any longer. 673 00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:23,118 - Look, heh, I'm gonna level with you. - Hmm? 674 00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:25,371 - One good impact here... - Ow. 675 00:54:25,471 --> 00:54:27,456 ...you understand? You're gonna be paralyzed. 676 00:54:27,556 --> 00:54:30,420 From the neck down, nothing moves. 677 00:54:32,144 --> 00:54:35,088 - Nothing? - Heh. Yeah, even your ding-dong. 678 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:37,382 - My ding-dong. - Heh. 679 00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:40,636 Look, Sonny, I'm not saying it'll happen, but you could die. 680 00:54:40,736 --> 00:54:43,930 Well, if my ding-dong ain't gonna work, I don't wanna live. 681 00:54:44,031 --> 00:54:46,266 All right. But the odds are against you. 682 00:54:46,366 --> 00:54:50,026 If you were a horse, I'd shoot you. 683 00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:55,612 I bet a big five. 684 00:54:57,002 --> 00:54:58,612 - "El foldo." - El foldo. 685 00:54:58,712 --> 00:55:00,989 Star, el foldo. El foldo. 686 00:55:01,089 --> 00:55:03,373 I'll see it. And here come the biggies. 687 00:55:03,842 --> 00:55:05,159 Screw the biggies. 688 00:55:05,260 --> 00:55:08,163 Wait a minute. You can't use that thing. What is that? 689 00:55:08,263 --> 00:55:11,707 - It's my pocket computer. - You can't use a computer. You can't use that. 690 00:55:11,809 --> 00:55:15,048 Show me where it says I can't, and I'll put it up. 691 00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:18,841 All right. I'll see your five and I'll raise you five. 692 00:55:18,941 --> 00:55:22,510 Uh, I'll just use my manually operated poker sense... 693 00:55:22,611 --> 00:55:24,929 against your mechanical wizardry. 694 00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:27,683 And I'll bump you a quarter. 695 00:55:27,783 --> 00:55:29,475 - High roller, huh? - Mm-hm. 696 00:55:29,576 --> 00:55:31,109 Look at that, gang. 697 00:55:32,621 --> 00:55:34,188 Who is that guy? 698 00:55:34,289 --> 00:55:37,233 - That's the writer. Heh. - Well, he looks a little miffed. 699 00:55:51,723 --> 00:55:55,586 - You think Roger didn't like his script? - I think so. Ha-ha-ha. 700 00:55:55,686 --> 00:55:57,253 - What do you got? - Pair of fours. 701 00:55:57,354 --> 00:55:59,638 - Pair of sevens. - Ha-ha-ha. 702 00:56:00,274 --> 00:56:02,676 Sevens. Three aces. Ha-ha-ha. 703 00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:05,594 - It was a calculated risk. - So was the Edsel. Ha-ha-ha. 704 00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:09,891 - Like to sit in for a hand, Mr. Berns? - Thanks, Cully, but I'm not in the mood. 705 00:56:09,992 --> 00:56:13,020 - Well, you characters, you did it this time. - How's that? 706 00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:16,982 Roger. You got him so excited he's rewriting the script... 707 00:56:17,082 --> 00:56:19,400 putting a whole bunch of new gags in for you. 708 00:56:19,501 --> 00:56:21,904 What, he want us to blow up L.A.? 709 00:56:22,004 --> 00:56:24,822 No joke. The writer was a little upset, as you may have noticed. 710 00:56:24,923 --> 00:56:26,784 Yeah, we noticed. 711 00:56:26,884 --> 00:56:30,662 And the studio is backing him all the way. They say it's his ball game. 712 00:56:30,762 --> 00:56:34,500 So tomorrow morning at 8:00, on Stage 6... 713 00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:39,254 he's having a meeting with you fellas, and he's gonna show you a new ending. 714 00:56:39,354 --> 00:56:41,340 The biggest earthquake ever. 715 00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,801 You guys are trying to drive to safety. 716 00:56:43,901 --> 00:56:47,554 The first thing we'll do is collapse this building into a giant crevice. 717 00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:49,096 Giant crevice. 718 00:56:49,197 --> 00:56:52,516 You're driving through explosions, bodies flying everywhere, fire... 719 00:56:52,618 --> 00:56:56,938 You're just about to reach safety when bam! We blow the bridge. 720 00:56:57,039 --> 00:56:59,732 And you fellas will have to rappel down into the gorge... 721 00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:01,900 There'll be a lot of fire and smoke and explosions. 722 00:57:02,002 --> 00:57:03,819 ...up the other side to safety. 723 00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:06,323 - All in one shot? - All in one shot. 724 00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:09,284 Flames, explosions, death. Everything. 725 00:57:09,384 --> 00:57:12,746 And you guys leaping out of it to triumph. Isn't it a great idea? 726 00:57:12,846 --> 00:57:14,788 It's a great idea, Roger. 727 00:57:14,890 --> 00:57:16,832 I can't imagine anything better. 728 00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:18,501 Why not jump a car over the gorge? 729 00:57:18,602 --> 00:57:21,463 Aw, Ski, will you knock it off with the jokes? 730 00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:23,841 No, no, no. What do you mean, Ski? 731 00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:27,556 Well, you'd have the biggest, best car stunt ever done. 732 00:57:32,074 --> 00:57:35,185 What kind of car could leap a gorge that wide? 733 00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:38,272 - A rocket car could make it. - Well, I don't like it. 734 00:57:38,372 --> 00:57:40,314 What if you don't make it? 735 00:57:40,415 --> 00:57:42,901 - Cliff? - They could make it, couldn't they? 736 00:57:43,001 --> 00:57:45,319 Sure, they could make it! 737 00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:47,238 Cliff... 738 00:57:47,339 --> 00:57:49,992 what's the longest jump a rocket car's ever made? 739 00:57:50,092 --> 00:57:52,578 Buddy Joe took one 187 feet once. 740 00:57:52,678 --> 00:57:56,206 - How far is this? - Three hundred and twenty-five feet. 741 00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,792 Could you beef up the suspension? 742 00:57:58,892 --> 00:58:03,963 Build a cage strong enough to protect Ski and I when we landed on the other side? 743 00:58:04,064 --> 00:58:07,258 I could build a car like that, but I can't tell how it would land. 744 00:58:07,359 --> 00:58:11,429 - That's 325 feet, Sonny. - I know how far it is, Cliff. 745 00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:17,269 - Hell. It'd be a new world record. - Wouldn't do my reputation any harm. 746 00:58:17,369 --> 00:58:19,229 Sonny, think of the risk. 747 00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:23,149 Forget about the risk, Max. Just bring your checkbook. 748 00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:24,902 - Hooper? - Huh? 749 00:58:25,002 --> 00:58:27,240 What's your fee for a gag like that? 750 00:58:28,588 --> 00:58:30,246 A hundred thousand dollars. 751 00:58:31,425 --> 00:58:33,993 Fifty thousand dollars for Ski... 752 00:58:34,094 --> 00:58:35,954 $50,000 for me. 753 00:58:36,054 --> 00:58:38,668 It's the world's biggest stunt. 754 00:58:39,558 --> 00:58:42,342 It ought to have the world's biggest paycheck. 755 00:58:44,062 --> 00:58:48,216 Look, will you boys wait over there for a minute? I want to discuss this with Roger. 756 00:58:48,316 --> 00:58:50,052 Of course, of course. 757 00:58:50,152 --> 00:58:51,428 You can do it, Cliff. 758 00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:55,348 Build a strong enough cage so when we land on the other side... 759 00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:57,100 Roger... 760 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,937 you know how much over the budget we are. 761 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:03,231 I want it, Max. It's right, and I want it. 762 00:59:03,331 --> 00:59:05,945 It's a stunt that's never been done. 763 00:59:06,835 --> 00:59:09,571 And what if they don't make it, Roger? 764 00:59:09,671 --> 00:59:13,240 - Are you gonna be responsible for it? - I don't care. I want it. 765 00:59:13,341 --> 00:59:16,078 It's the ending I want. It's the statement I want to make. 766 00:59:16,178 --> 00:59:19,292 Cut something else if you have to. I want that stunt. 767 00:59:20,223 --> 00:59:22,040 All right, Roger. 768 00:59:23,643 --> 00:59:26,755 I'll talk to Sonny, see if I can't get his price down. 769 00:59:26,855 --> 00:59:30,133 No offense, Max, but I don't think you could. 770 00:59:30,233 --> 00:59:32,386 Hooper knows you too well. 771 00:59:32,486 --> 00:59:35,805 Tony will get him down. Won't you, Tony? 772 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,848 It'll be a pleasure. 773 00:59:38,116 --> 00:59:41,728 I drove this sucker the other day and it hauls ass. What'd you do to it? 774 00:59:41,828 --> 00:59:45,691 I put a 428 police interceptor in it. Balanced and blueprinted. 775 00:59:45,791 --> 00:59:48,902 - It's plenty hot. - If it's that hot, I could use it Friday night. 776 00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:51,363 - Listen up, listen up. Lead heads! - What? 777 00:59:51,463 --> 00:59:54,281 - Any of you guys seen Hooper? - Down here, short legs. 778 00:59:54,382 --> 00:59:55,699 - Hooper. - Yeah? 779 00:59:55,801 --> 00:59:59,587 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Step in my office. 780 01:00:00,764 --> 01:00:04,376 Look, that gag you guys came up with this morning... 781 01:00:04,476 --> 01:00:06,919 100,000 is way out of line. 782 01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:09,588 Mm-hm. Well, that's my price. It's not negotiable. 783 01:00:09,689 --> 01:00:12,801 Heh. Everything is negotiable, Hooper. 784 01:00:12,901 --> 01:00:17,431 I know you're making big noises just to jack up your fee, but here it is. 785 01:00:17,531 --> 01:00:19,808 Twenty grand for the jump. 786 01:00:19,908 --> 01:00:25,188 Because when you get right down to it, that's all this is: just another car jump. 787 01:00:25,288 --> 01:00:26,354 Really? 788 01:00:33,797 --> 01:00:35,739 Better fasten your seat belt. 789 01:00:36,091 --> 01:00:37,617 What the hell are you doing? 790 01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:41,082 I'm just thinking over your offer. I think better when I'm driving. 791 01:00:44,391 --> 01:00:46,879 Hooper, don't get excited. Maybe we can compromise. 792 01:00:50,605 --> 01:00:52,090 I never compromise. 793 01:00:52,190 --> 01:00:55,805 Life is too short. So are you. 794 01:01:01,116 --> 01:01:04,276 - Maybe we got off on the wrong foot, Hooper. - I don't think so. 795 01:01:08,707 --> 01:01:11,776 - Oh, Jesus! - It's just another car jump. 796 01:01:20,177 --> 01:01:23,587 - Did you enjoy that? - No. No. 797 01:01:31,104 --> 01:01:33,297 - Hey, Sonny! - Hi, Jane! 798 01:01:33,398 --> 01:01:35,090 You'll work with anybody! 799 01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:37,219 Ah, I love Westerns. Whoo! 800 01:01:39,029 --> 01:01:40,812 Look out! Here comes the wild man! 801 01:01:48,371 --> 01:01:52,316 - Price is 100 grand. - A hundred grand will be just fine. 802 01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:56,654 - You okay, Hoop? - Oh, yeah. Just couldn't be better. 803 01:01:56,755 --> 01:01:59,414 Tony might get a little sick in a second. 804 01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:50,002 He had a stroke. 805 01:02:50,475 --> 01:02:52,167 A stroke? 806 01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:54,171 Yeah. 807 01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:59,216 He says he fell down in the shower and broke his knee. 808 01:03:00,151 --> 01:03:02,304 The dumb jerk. 809 01:03:02,404 --> 01:03:06,099 Even when they tell him it's a stroke, he won't accept it. 810 01:03:07,867 --> 01:03:09,434 Come on. 811 01:03:13,039 --> 01:03:14,777 How is he now? 812 01:03:15,333 --> 01:03:16,866 I don't know. 813 01:03:19,045 --> 01:03:21,738 They shot him full of Demerol. 814 01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:30,672 Stupid old bastard. He's so damn stubborn. 815 01:04:00,962 --> 01:04:03,865 - Jocko? - Jesus Christ. 816 01:04:03,965 --> 01:04:05,373 Hey. 817 01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:08,745 - Ain't this a bitch? - Mm. 818 01:04:08,845 --> 01:04:10,583 What happened? 819 01:04:11,014 --> 01:04:12,331 Well... 820 01:04:12,432 --> 01:04:18,171 35 years of falling off horses and airplanes and every goddamn thing else... 821 01:04:18,271 --> 01:04:20,924 I gotta go and do a brodie in my own toilet. 822 01:04:23,401 --> 01:04:25,139 You're gonna be all right, Jocko. 823 01:04:33,745 --> 01:04:35,733 You know what a priest told me one time? 824 01:04:36,956 --> 01:04:38,318 No, what? 825 01:04:39,876 --> 01:04:44,697 This priest says to me, "Son, your body is a temple." 826 01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:49,828 Heh. Hell of a goddamn way to treat a temple, ain't it? 827 01:04:49,928 --> 01:04:51,788 Horses stepping all over it... 828 01:04:51,888 --> 01:04:57,050 stagecoaches dragging it all through rocks and cactus and all kinds of shit... 829 01:05:00,522 --> 01:05:03,383 Then I spend the rest of my time... 830 01:05:03,483 --> 01:05:07,018 laying around waiting for something to heal. 831 01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:09,645 You know what I'm talking about, don't you? 832 01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:12,770 - Yeah. - Well... 833 01:05:13,493 --> 01:05:14,810 what for? 834 01:05:15,745 --> 01:05:17,938 Can you tell me what for? 835 01:05:18,039 --> 01:05:22,234 - Well, I think, Jock... - I don't want to hear all that now, Sonny. 836 01:05:22,335 --> 01:05:25,825 Goddamn, you're a talkative son of a bitch. 837 01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:32,957 Temple's all busted to shit, and all you can do is keep on talking. 838 01:05:54,325 --> 01:05:56,859 Did the doctor say anything to you? 839 01:05:57,537 --> 01:05:59,104 Yeah. 840 01:06:00,498 --> 01:06:03,612 They said they don't know if he'll be able to walk again. 841 01:06:08,423 --> 01:06:10,661 Well, I'll tell you something, Gwenny. 842 01:06:12,677 --> 01:06:15,955 I'm quitting after this picture. I'm not doing any more stunts. 843 01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:18,418 I'm going to hang it up. 844 01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,876 I love you. 845 01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:25,422 I'm gonna make so much money on this job anyway, I can... 846 01:06:26,191 --> 01:06:28,384 pay off the ranch. 847 01:06:29,569 --> 01:06:31,386 Stock it. 848 01:06:33,448 --> 01:06:35,140 We'll be in high cotton. 849 01:06:35,241 --> 01:06:37,934 Heh. I love you. 850 01:06:40,330 --> 01:06:42,022 What'd you say? 851 01:06:42,707 --> 01:06:44,490 I said, I love you. 852 01:06:47,545 --> 01:06:49,487 I love you too. 853 01:07:02,018 --> 01:07:04,379 Oh. Oh. 854 01:07:04,479 --> 01:07:06,714 You better save some tequila for breakfast. 855 01:07:06,814 --> 01:07:09,717 Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Heh. Come on in. 856 01:07:09,817 --> 01:07:12,720 Where in the hell have you been? I've been waiting. 857 01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:14,887 - We were at the hospital, Cully. - Oh? 858 01:07:14,989 --> 01:07:17,773 - Dad had a stroke. - A stroke? 859 01:07:18,159 --> 01:07:19,769 Really? 860 01:07:19,869 --> 01:07:22,730 - Is he all right? - He's gonna be all right. 861 01:07:22,830 --> 01:07:25,239 Oh, I'm sorry, Gwen. 862 01:07:25,833 --> 01:07:28,945 - God, Cully, you look perfectly awful. - Oh, I am. I am. 863 01:07:29,045 --> 01:07:32,782 - I'll get you some supper. - No, wait, wait, wait. Nothing to eat. 864 01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:37,578 I got fired, heh, so I came by to say goodbye. 865 01:07:38,346 --> 01:07:42,666 - Fired? What are you talking about? - Well, see, they were over budget... 866 01:07:42,767 --> 01:07:45,378 and they wanted to get rid of some of the deadwood. 867 01:07:45,478 --> 01:07:48,296 - My Wood's dead. Heh. - Who fired you? Max? 868 01:07:50,149 --> 01:07:51,634 I don't really know. 869 01:07:51,734 --> 01:07:57,021 But I got the word from that little popcorn fart, Tony. 870 01:07:58,992 --> 01:08:00,477 - Oh, no, no. - Shut up. 871 01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:03,938 Nobody can hire and fire anybody on this... What are you doing? Come on. 872 01:08:04,038 --> 01:08:06,774 I told them if they fired you, they'd have to fire me. 873 01:08:06,874 --> 01:08:10,278 - Did you tell them that? I appreciate that. - Yes, I told them that. 874 01:08:10,378 --> 01:08:14,365 You little rascal. That's why I love you. We do things for each other. 875 01:08:14,465 --> 01:08:17,202 - I'm gonna do something for you now. - Do something for me. 876 01:08:17,302 --> 01:08:20,120 Good advice. Get off the damn picture before you get hurt. 877 01:08:20,221 --> 01:08:23,833 Cully, he told me this is his last picture. After this, no more. 878 01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:26,877 Oh, sure, if there's anything left of him after this picture. 879 01:08:26,978 --> 01:08:29,296 - Cully. - What does that mean? 880 01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:32,424 - Oh. You didn't tell her? - No, I didn't. 881 01:08:32,525 --> 01:08:34,552 He didn't tell you? Naughty, naughty. 882 01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:37,931 He didn't tell you about the big bad rocket-car stunt? 883 01:08:38,031 --> 01:08:40,767 - Will you stop it? - No. What stunt? 884 01:08:40,867 --> 01:08:43,144 Oh. Well, I'm gonna let him fill in the details. 885 01:08:43,244 --> 01:08:45,897 Mind your own business. Just drink your tequila. 886 01:08:45,997 --> 01:08:49,275 I do want to tell you one thing while I'm still drunk on your tequila. 887 01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:52,319 - Shit. Oh, shit. - I went to see his doctor. 888 01:08:52,420 --> 01:08:56,490 I went to see his doctor, asked him what's going to happen to him... 889 01:08:56,591 --> 01:09:00,245 when he lands that rocket car over there across the gorge... 890 01:09:00,345 --> 01:09:03,248 - ...how hard it's gonna hit. - Sonny, what is he talking about? 891 01:09:03,348 --> 01:09:06,917 He's talking about $50,000 over and above what I'll make on this picture. 892 01:09:07,018 --> 01:09:09,586 Besides, I can't let that kid do the stunt alone. 893 01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:11,548 The kid? What...? What is this? 894 01:09:11,648 --> 01:09:13,758 You've got Ski in this crazy thing now? 895 01:09:13,858 --> 01:09:17,011 No, Gwenny, it's the other way around. The kid's got him. 896 01:09:17,111 --> 01:09:19,895 - Will you butt out? - I told you that kid was gonna get you killed. 897 01:09:21,032 --> 01:09:24,476 Sonny, you told me you were quitting after this picture... 898 01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,395 so you could trade it off against doing this stunt. True? 899 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:30,984 You're crazy, you know that? I'll tell you one thing. You're crazy. 900 01:09:31,084 --> 01:09:33,236 - I don't want to hear your... - No! 901 01:09:33,336 --> 01:09:35,321 - Dumb jackass! - Shut your drunken mouth! 902 01:09:35,421 --> 01:09:39,081 - Listen, don't mess up my wardrobe. - Hey! Sonny! 903 01:09:43,471 --> 01:09:44,998 Oh. 904 01:09:45,098 --> 01:09:47,750 Hundred and seventy-two motion-picture fights. 905 01:09:47,850 --> 01:09:50,378 That's the first time he ever hit me. 906 01:09:50,478 --> 01:09:52,839 That son of a bitch can hit. Heh. 907 01:09:52,939 --> 01:09:56,508 - Cully, I'm so sorry. - Oh, he didn't mean it. 908 01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:59,393 If he had meant it, he'd have hit a lot harder. 909 01:10:00,446 --> 01:10:01,979 He's hurting, Gwenny. 910 01:10:03,282 --> 01:10:05,975 He's got a lot of things on his mind. 911 01:10:07,829 --> 01:10:09,862 Oh, Cully. 912 01:10:15,545 --> 01:10:18,705 - Sonny. - Mm? 913 01:10:21,884 --> 01:10:24,122 Sonny, will you go home now? 914 01:10:28,725 --> 01:10:30,292 Why? 915 01:10:30,685 --> 01:10:32,593 Please? 916 01:10:33,187 --> 01:10:34,754 Sonny. 917 01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:39,302 I'm sorry. Heh, heh. 918 01:10:39,402 --> 01:10:42,430 Sonny, what are you trying to prove? 919 01:10:42,530 --> 01:10:45,183 Let me ask you something, Debbie. 920 01:10:45,283 --> 01:10:47,810 This is a big town, isn't it? 921 01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:50,979 - I mean, Los Angeles is a big town. - Yeah. 922 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:56,402 Well, why the hell does this bar close before the bars in Tulsa? 923 01:10:58,129 --> 01:11:00,162 Can you answer me that? 924 01:11:00,798 --> 01:11:02,786 I don't know, Sonny. 925 01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:07,413 Hey, let's go somewhere and have some breakfast. You want to? 926 01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:11,629 I can't do that. 927 01:11:12,185 --> 01:11:14,969 Let's go somewhere and have some lunch. 928 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:18,264 I can't do that either. 929 01:11:19,442 --> 01:11:23,512 Well, let's go somewhere and jump each other's bones. 930 01:11:27,533 --> 01:11:30,520 - That is tempting, Sonny. Yeah. - Is it? 931 01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:33,188 - But you know why I can't do it? - Why? 932 01:11:33,289 --> 01:11:38,656 Because my husband is so jealous and so near. 933 01:11:40,171 --> 01:11:41,823 And so big. 934 01:11:41,923 --> 01:11:42,989 Sonny... 935 01:11:48,221 --> 01:11:49,997 - Hey. - Huh? 936 01:11:50,097 --> 01:11:53,334 When you get so drunk you make a pass at Debbie in my presence... 937 01:11:53,434 --> 01:11:55,586 - ...it's time for me to call you a cab. - Yeah. 938 01:11:55,686 --> 01:11:59,215 You don't call me a cab. I am a cab. You don't need to call me a cab. 939 01:11:59,315 --> 01:12:04,721 I'm perfectly able to take a walk or ride... 940 01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:07,974 or fly or whatever. Anything you want me to do, I can do. 941 01:12:08,074 --> 01:12:10,733 - I'm perfectly coordinated. - Sonny. 942 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:14,229 So bye-bye and so long. 943 01:14:21,248 --> 01:14:22,900 You said you could do it. 944 01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,362 I rewrote the script because you said you could do it. 945 01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:29,073 We rearranged the shooting schedule. 946 01:14:29,173 --> 01:14:32,117 We spent a damn fortune preparing for that stunt... 947 01:14:32,218 --> 01:14:34,706 because you said you could do it. 948 01:14:35,179 --> 01:14:38,791 - I was wrong, Roger. I'm sorry. - You were wrong. 949 01:14:38,891 --> 01:14:42,295 He was wrong, Max. He's sorry. 950 01:14:42,395 --> 01:14:47,808 He blows the whole goddamn movie and he says, "Gee, I was wrong. Sorry." 951 01:14:50,277 --> 01:14:52,219 Okay, okay. New business. 952 01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:56,309 - Ski does it with someone else, that's all. - Why don't you forget it, Roger? 953 01:14:56,409 --> 01:14:58,351 I never liked the damn gag anyhow. 954 01:14:58,452 --> 01:15:00,770 - Who else can do the stunt? - Buddy Joe can do it. 955 01:15:00,871 --> 01:15:02,899 - He's not available. - Who else? 956 01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:04,486 Nobody. 957 01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:09,029 - What do you mean, nobody? - I mean nobody. It's a very complicated stunt. 958 01:15:09,130 --> 01:15:12,199 There's maybe three guys that can do it, and we're not available. 959 01:15:12,299 --> 01:15:14,366 Ski will do it solo with a dummy, then. 960 01:15:15,970 --> 01:15:19,790 Goddamn, Roger. If you knew what the hell you were talking about... 961 01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:22,293 you'd realize it takes two guys to do the stunt. 962 01:15:22,393 --> 01:15:25,086 One guy to drive, one guy to read the instruments. 963 01:15:25,187 --> 01:15:27,425 And I'm telling you that Ski isn't qualified. 964 01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:32,594 Max, does this man still have a job on this picture? 965 01:15:32,695 --> 01:15:35,764 Sonny works here as long as I say so. 966 01:15:35,865 --> 01:15:38,604 Or as long as Sonny wants to. 967 01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:40,727 Thank you, Max. 968 01:15:40,828 --> 01:15:43,731 Now, if Sonny says Ski can't do it, I believe him. 969 01:15:43,831 --> 01:15:46,445 It's only a damn movie anyhow, for God's sake. 970 01:15:49,253 --> 01:15:51,696 Only a movie? 971 01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:54,325 I want you to call the studio brass. 972 01:15:54,425 --> 01:15:57,662 I want you to tell them and their stockholders, distributors... 973 01:15:57,762 --> 01:16:00,915 and the bank that it's only a movie. Will you do that, Max? 974 01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:04,502 I want you to tell them, "Forget about all your money. It's only a movie." 975 01:16:04,602 --> 01:16:08,046 I'll tell them that no damn movie is worth a man's life! 976 01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:13,635 And I'll tell them unless I can shoot this picture the way I want to... 977 01:16:13,736 --> 01:16:17,351 and that means this stunt, then I take a walk. 978 01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:22,477 And we'll see who walks, Mr. Berns, you or I. 979 01:16:27,249 --> 01:16:29,282 I'm sorry, Max. 980 01:16:29,877 --> 01:16:32,780 Ah, what the hell, Sonny. What the hell. 981 01:16:35,257 --> 01:16:37,368 You know the old saying: 982 01:16:37,468 --> 01:16:40,537 You'll never work in this town again. 983 01:16:42,139 --> 01:16:44,000 Unless they need you. 984 01:16:58,739 --> 01:17:01,603 - Here you go, Cully. - Thanks. A Coke? 985 01:17:02,284 --> 01:17:04,852 - If you're still mad, I can just leave... - Shut up and sit down. 986 01:17:08,582 --> 01:17:11,742 Kind of early in the day for that hard stuff, isn't it? 987 01:17:12,503 --> 01:17:15,697 I'm working out my left arm this morning. 988 01:17:15,798 --> 01:17:18,867 I'll get around to my right arm this afternoon. 989 01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:25,499 You heard what's happening, haven't you? I'll tell you what's happening. 990 01:17:25,599 --> 01:17:28,964 That new kid, Ski? Well, they've got him gaffing the show. 991 01:17:30,229 --> 01:17:35,009 You know what else? I'll tell you what else. They canceled that car stunt. 992 01:17:35,109 --> 01:17:36,469 At least temporarily. 993 01:17:36,569 --> 01:17:38,971 You were absolutely right, it's a two-man stunt. 994 01:17:39,071 --> 01:17:43,434 Ain't nobody crazy enough to ride with that kid, with a rocket strapped to his butt. 995 01:17:43,534 --> 01:17:46,687 And you can bet your ass, your cowboy hat and your house cat... 996 01:17:46,787 --> 01:17:49,901 they're gonna be coming after you to get you to do the stunt. 997 01:17:50,541 --> 01:17:52,358 You gonna do the stunt? 998 01:17:53,419 --> 01:17:55,578 You know what, Cully? 999 01:17:57,548 --> 01:18:00,992 There's a whole new breed of stuntman coming along. 1000 01:18:02,303 --> 01:18:04,041 They're younger and... 1001 01:18:04,847 --> 01:18:06,789 stronger... 1002 01:18:07,933 --> 01:18:10,419 tougher than us. 1003 01:18:10,519 --> 01:18:13,881 They don't take pills, they don't drink... 1004 01:18:13,981 --> 01:18:17,843 they don't... They don't take shots. 1005 01:18:17,943 --> 01:18:20,761 They use little pocket calculators. 1006 01:18:22,156 --> 01:18:25,691 If we don't watch out, they're gonna blow us right out of the tub. 1007 01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:29,733 You didn't answer my question. Are you gonna do the stunt? 1008 01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:38,489 Boy, I never realized there were so many gags at the end of the picture. 1009 01:18:38,589 --> 01:18:40,241 So involved. 1010 01:18:40,341 --> 01:18:44,957 Fire gags, the whole town being blown up, 50 stuntmen doing falls. 1011 01:18:48,182 --> 01:18:49,999 All right, Max. 1012 01:18:51,435 --> 01:18:54,296 What's the real reason you came out here? 1013 01:18:54,396 --> 01:18:57,260 To ask me to come back and gaff the show? 1014 01:18:58,442 --> 01:19:00,930 No, it's the rocket-car gag, Sonny. 1015 01:19:01,820 --> 01:19:05,850 - The rocket car? - It's a two-man job, just like you always said. 1016 01:19:05,950 --> 01:19:07,852 Nobody in town will touch it. 1017 01:19:07,952 --> 01:19:11,313 - Roger's worried that Ski will get hurt. - That's a lot of bullshit. 1018 01:19:11,413 --> 01:19:14,027 Roger's worried about getting his shot. 1019 01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:17,527 Roger's worried about finishing his picture. 1020 01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:22,369 So he talked you into coming out here to ask me to come back and do the gag. 1021 01:19:22,883 --> 01:19:25,661 You tell Roger to go sit on a short stick. 1022 01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:28,414 - If you won't do it for Roger... - I'll do it for you? 1023 01:19:28,514 --> 01:19:31,332 - I'd appreciate it. - You'd appreciate it? 1024 01:19:33,811 --> 01:19:37,471 What happened to you, Max? You used to be tough. 1025 01:19:38,399 --> 01:19:40,466 Nobody could tell you how to make a picture. 1026 01:19:41,068 --> 01:19:42,885 And nobody got hurt on your pictures. 1027 01:19:42,987 --> 01:19:45,180 If I don't deliver this picture... 1028 01:19:45,281 --> 01:19:49,817 I'll be the producer who blew the biggest and hottest project in town. 1029 01:19:51,495 --> 01:19:53,856 All washed up. Finished. 1030 01:19:53,956 --> 01:19:57,116 I'm too old to go back to selling door-to-door. 1031 01:20:13,475 --> 01:20:15,668 Okay, Max. 1032 01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:19,547 You got me. 1033 01:20:43,005 --> 01:20:44,788 You gonna do it? 1034 01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:47,784 Yeah. 1035 01:20:50,679 --> 01:20:52,087 I'm gonna do it. 1036 01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:57,919 I won't be here when you get back. 1037 01:21:20,501 --> 01:21:23,194 - Hey, Sonny! How you doing, my man? - Jeffrey. 1038 01:21:23,295 --> 01:21:25,322 - Gary. - How's it hanging, Sonny? 1039 01:21:25,422 --> 01:21:27,990 - Hi, Sonny. Max said you were coming in. - Danny. 1040 01:21:28,092 --> 01:21:30,202 Nice to see you back. 1041 01:21:30,302 --> 01:21:32,705 What do you think of my baby? 1042 01:21:32,805 --> 01:21:34,122 It's big. 1043 01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:36,333 Looks like one of King Kong's suppositories. 1044 01:21:39,228 --> 01:21:42,589 - How you doing, Ski? - Fine, Sonny. How about you? 1045 01:21:42,689 --> 01:21:44,341 Good. 1046 01:21:44,441 --> 01:21:47,094 Let me tell you guys how this thing works. 1047 01:21:47,194 --> 01:21:49,637 Now, Sonny, your job is to dial up the pressure. 1048 01:21:49,738 --> 01:21:54,309 You'll need 1500 pounds, and that leaves Ski free to drive. 1049 01:21:54,410 --> 01:21:58,647 When the pressure's right, hit the switch, and you are gone. 1050 01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:01,031 - How's it handle? - Haven't driven it yet. 1051 01:22:02,501 --> 01:22:04,568 - Let's try it out. - I heard that. 1052 01:22:19,059 --> 01:22:20,461 How's it feel? 1053 01:22:20,561 --> 01:22:22,674 Pulls a little to the left. 1054 01:22:23,272 --> 01:22:24,882 Anything else? 1055 01:22:24,982 --> 01:22:27,391 That cigarette lighter don't work. 1056 01:22:29,778 --> 01:22:33,265 You just better hope that that cigarette lighter works. 1057 01:22:40,831 --> 01:22:43,442 We'll be following the explosive truck. 1058 01:22:43,542 --> 01:22:45,985 The driver will jump out, and it'll blow. 1059 01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:49,781 Supposed to collapse the bridge from the super structure to the other bank. 1060 01:22:53,886 --> 01:22:58,374 You figure out on that pocket calculator how many G's we're pulling when we land? 1061 01:22:58,474 --> 01:23:00,876 Eight to 10 if we land on our wheels. 1062 01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:03,212 We gotta make sure we hit the ramp just right... 1063 01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:05,714 otherwise it'd veer off one way or the other... 1064 01:23:05,814 --> 01:23:07,966 or could just go head first into that bank. 1065 01:23:08,066 --> 01:23:11,095 - If that happens, there's just one thing to do. - What's that? 1066 01:23:11,195 --> 01:23:14,434 Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. 1067 01:23:16,658 --> 01:23:18,316 It's a piece of cake. 1068 01:23:24,791 --> 01:23:26,819 I'll buy you a drink. 1069 01:23:26,919 --> 01:23:29,154 You don't drink, do you? 1070 01:23:29,254 --> 01:23:30,864 I'm willing to start. 1071 01:23:30,964 --> 01:23:32,906 Damn good time to do it. 1072 01:23:35,010 --> 01:23:36,952 You know... 1073 01:23:37,054 --> 01:23:40,958 all this hanging around with you, I think you're starting to rub off on me. 1074 01:23:41,058 --> 01:23:43,836 - How's that? - Well, a couple ways. 1075 01:23:45,145 --> 01:23:46,462 Excuse me. 1076 01:23:46,563 --> 01:23:50,132 My first marriage, you know, is more than likely in the shitter. 1077 01:23:50,234 --> 01:23:51,767 Oh, yeah. 1078 01:23:52,569 --> 01:23:55,558 And I'm learning to drink and liking it. 1079 01:23:58,116 --> 01:24:01,060 Yeah, well... 1080 01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:05,106 my present relationship is not good. 1081 01:24:05,207 --> 01:24:07,149 Actually, it's in the shitter too. 1082 01:24:09,628 --> 01:24:14,158 Well, what the hell is it about stuntmen... 1083 01:24:14,258 --> 01:24:16,535 and their wives and relationships? 1084 01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:21,080 I don't know. It's a little like drinking and driving. 1085 01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:24,418 Eventually there's gonna be a hell of a wreck. 1086 01:24:24,518 --> 01:24:27,507 - Hey, guys. - Hey. Oh, hey. 1087 01:24:28,397 --> 01:24:30,715 - Is this your car? - Yeah. 1088 01:24:30,816 --> 01:24:33,552 - Looks pretty fast. - Looks ain't deceiving. 1089 01:24:33,652 --> 01:24:38,807 From the looks of them beer cans, I'd say you two guys were a little drunk. 1090 01:24:38,907 --> 01:24:42,476 Like I said, looks ain't deceiving, you old fart. 1091 01:24:42,578 --> 01:24:44,730 Better let me handle this. 1092 01:24:44,830 --> 01:24:47,691 I hope you guys ain't planning on doing any more driving. 1093 01:24:47,791 --> 01:24:50,903 We're not gonna do any more driving. I just called my mother. 1094 01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:54,197 And she's gonna come out here and pick us up and take us home. 1095 01:24:54,298 --> 01:24:56,491 I'm gonna leave the car here and go home with her. 1096 01:24:58,093 --> 01:25:00,536 - Your mother? - Yeah. 1097 01:25:00,637 --> 01:25:01,954 I hope you're right. 1098 01:25:05,726 --> 01:25:07,293 Old fart. 1099 01:25:07,394 --> 01:25:10,547 So the queen says to the photographer: 1100 01:25:10,647 --> 01:25:13,634 "I got a brother-in-law that's a photographer." 1101 01:25:13,734 --> 01:25:17,262 The photographer says, "So? I've got a brother-in-law that's a queen." 1102 01:25:19,865 --> 01:25:22,518 Oh. Look what we got here. 1103 01:25:22,618 --> 01:25:24,401 Howdy, old fart. 1104 01:25:26,371 --> 01:25:28,564 Afternoon, officer. Nice day, isn't it? 1105 01:25:29,249 --> 01:25:30,736 Pull up, right over there! 1106 01:25:31,293 --> 01:25:34,362 - What's that? - I said, pull over up front! 1107 01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:37,241 - Pull over up front, that's what I said! - Gotcha. 1108 01:25:37,341 --> 01:25:38,658 Shall we? 1109 01:25:40,344 --> 01:25:42,411 Say goodbye to the nice officer. 1110 01:25:42,971 --> 01:25:44,629 Bye-bye, nice officer. 1111 01:25:50,395 --> 01:25:52,588 Great God almighty! 1112 01:25:53,899 --> 01:25:55,762 Headquarters! 1113 01:25:57,194 --> 01:25:58,476 Never mind. 1114 01:25:58,737 --> 01:26:00,847 All right, Tony, I'm coming down. 1115 01:26:00,947 --> 01:26:03,640 Get Hooper and Ski ready, will you? 1116 01:26:03,742 --> 01:26:06,981 All right, move it out of here. The helicopter's coming down. 1117 01:26:09,706 --> 01:26:12,399 Tony, do I have to do everything myself? 1118 01:26:12,501 --> 01:26:14,739 Get those people out of here. 1119 01:26:16,755 --> 01:26:19,699 Hooper! Ski! Get over here. Roger wants you. 1120 01:26:20,634 --> 01:26:22,827 Let's go, let's go! Over here! 1121 01:26:31,395 --> 01:26:36,387 We'll be putting away this thing here. We're gonna blow all this up. 1122 01:26:37,984 --> 01:26:43,223 As you remember, it's a giant earthquake, you know, with fires, explosions... 1123 01:26:43,323 --> 01:26:46,810 buildings falling everywhere, chaos, terror... 1124 01:26:46,910 --> 01:26:49,444 and you'll be driving through it. 1125 01:26:51,498 --> 01:26:54,401 It has a nice grayness, like La Strada. 1126 01:26:54,501 --> 01:26:57,487 All right, I'll be in the chopper for all of this. 1127 01:26:57,587 --> 01:27:00,656 And we start back there at the administration building. 1128 01:27:00,757 --> 01:27:03,535 When the earthquake hits, we collapse the building. 1129 01:27:03,635 --> 01:27:07,247 That's a great idea, Roger. That's gonna look terrific on film. 1130 01:27:07,347 --> 01:27:09,915 Now, this gas station is where... 1131 01:27:10,892 --> 01:27:15,505 you'll force one of those cars chasing you to hit those pumps... 1132 01:27:15,605 --> 01:27:18,514 and that'll set off our main tank. 1133 01:27:19,776 --> 01:27:21,386 Sensational idea, Roger. 1134 01:27:21,486 --> 01:27:22,928 It's the only way it can be filmed. 1135 01:27:24,781 --> 01:27:26,808 Actually, you're quite wrong, Tony. 1136 01:27:26,908 --> 01:27:30,437 There are several ways of doing it, but this is undoubtedly the best. 1137 01:27:30,537 --> 01:27:32,439 All right, Sonny, I'm depending on you. 1138 01:27:32,539 --> 01:27:36,984 I want some good stunts, some cars skidding, other cars crashing into each other... 1139 01:27:37,085 --> 01:27:40,279 but these smokestacks are important. 1140 01:27:40,380 --> 01:27:45,035 When they fall, they demolish everything. They've got to just miss your car. 1141 01:27:45,135 --> 01:27:47,120 That is crucial... 1142 01:27:47,220 --> 01:27:50,539 because we can't put those stacks back together again. 1143 01:27:50,640 --> 01:27:52,250 That's right, Roger. 1144 01:27:52,350 --> 01:27:55,504 Here's where you find the explosives truck that blows the bridge... 1145 01:27:55,604 --> 01:27:59,094 and of course, your car will have to jump the river. 1146 01:28:06,656 --> 01:28:09,810 We'll go over here where we can get a good view of the jump. 1147 01:28:09,910 --> 01:28:12,562 - It's good to see you. - You've come for the jump, right? 1148 01:28:12,662 --> 01:28:14,439 - Yeah. - It's gonna be neat. Later. 1149 01:28:14,539 --> 01:28:17,818 Hey, Gwen. Gwen. Do you want to see him? 1150 01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:19,451 No. 1151 01:28:20,462 --> 01:28:22,074 Afterward. 1152 01:28:28,011 --> 01:28:30,545 Roger wants to talk to you guys. 1153 01:28:31,223 --> 01:28:32,749 Yeah, Roger? 1154 01:28:32,849 --> 01:28:35,711 All right, Ski, Sonny, this is Roger. You boys ready? 1155 01:28:35,811 --> 01:28:39,221 - We were born ready. - Wonderful. Let's try one, shall we? 1156 01:28:40,232 --> 01:28:42,425 One's all you get, hoss. 1157 01:28:42,526 --> 01:28:45,470 - Good luck, guys. - Hold this while we're gone, will you? 1158 01:28:45,570 --> 01:28:49,435 Remember, people, no one ever won an Oscar for second best. So get ready. 1159 01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:56,773 - All right, this is it. Roll the cameras. - Speed. 1160 01:28:56,873 --> 01:28:59,609 - Rolling cameras one through five. - Six through nine. 1161 01:28:59,709 --> 01:29:02,994 - Eleven and 12. - Action! Go, go, go! 1162 01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:26,518 We're up to pressure, 1500 pounds. 1163 01:29:34,494 --> 01:29:36,311 Goddamn. Cliff was working overtime. 1164 01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:47,865 We're losing... We're losing some pressure. 1165 01:29:47,966 --> 01:29:51,535 - Well, stick the thing up to full power! - I already did that! 1166 01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:53,997 It's down, 1400 pounds. 1167 01:29:54,097 --> 01:29:56,005 - It just ain't enough. - It better be. 1168 01:30:11,531 --> 01:30:13,098 Good, boy. You're doing great. 1169 01:30:35,597 --> 01:30:36,663 Woo-hoo! 1170 01:30:44,230 --> 01:30:47,048 Holy shit. Your speed is right on. 1171 01:30:49,861 --> 01:30:51,678 - I love it! I love it! Ha-ha-ha! - Whoo! 1172 01:31:04,125 --> 01:31:06,443 We're down to 1100 pounds pressure. 1173 01:31:06,544 --> 01:31:08,737 - We're in trouble now. - Goddamn it, Sonny. 1174 01:31:30,318 --> 01:31:33,430 One more curve and they're gonna blow that bridge all to shit! 1175 01:31:33,530 --> 01:31:35,973 Get on it, son! Put the pedal to the metal! 1176 01:31:45,625 --> 01:31:47,692 Get onto that explosives truck's ass! 1177 01:31:59,639 --> 01:32:01,331 What the hell's the matter? 1178 01:32:01,433 --> 01:32:03,796 - Haven't got enough pressure. - Screw the pressure! 1179 01:32:09,858 --> 01:32:11,800 What is happening? 1180 01:32:13,028 --> 01:32:16,932 What the hell is going on down there? Keep rolling, goddamn it! 1181 01:32:17,032 --> 01:32:19,267 My life's worth more than a piece of film. 1182 01:32:19,367 --> 01:32:23,229 I'll tell you exactly what your life is worth. Your life is worth $50,000. 1183 01:32:23,329 --> 01:32:25,982 The price you put on it when you got behind this wheel. 1184 01:32:26,082 --> 01:32:29,694 Sonny, Ski, if you do not try to make this jump... 1185 01:32:29,794 --> 01:32:32,658 you'll never work in this town again. Is that...? 1186 01:32:34,090 --> 01:32:36,701 - We're going, huh? - We're going, yeah, we're going. 1187 01:32:36,801 --> 01:32:38,664 Heh. You're crazy. 1188 01:32:42,057 --> 01:32:44,042 - I'm gonna hit it. - Whoo! 1189 01:32:44,142 --> 01:32:45,880 Whoo! 1190 01:33:01,367 --> 01:33:03,685 I just don't believe it. 1191 01:33:04,079 --> 01:33:09,275 Cut, cut, cut! And print, goddamn it! Get me down. 1192 01:33:16,591 --> 01:33:19,535 - Get that door open! - And get that crowbar over here! 1193 01:33:20,386 --> 01:33:23,000 - Let me get in there. - Can't get it open. 1194 01:33:23,473 --> 01:33:24,790 Get away. 1195 01:33:25,517 --> 01:33:28,005 Sonny, are you all right? 1196 01:33:28,603 --> 01:33:32,514 Sonny, are you all right? Sonny! Jesus, Sonny! 1197 01:33:40,115 --> 01:33:42,433 - Yes, I know, I know, I know. - He made it across! 1198 01:33:50,208 --> 01:33:51,695 Sonny. 1199 01:33:52,710 --> 01:33:54,197 Sonny. 1200 01:33:58,842 --> 01:34:00,909 Hey, hey, hey! 1201 01:34:06,683 --> 01:34:09,001 That was a hell of a jump! 1202 01:34:30,665 --> 01:34:32,698 Make room for Jocko. 1203 01:34:34,460 --> 01:34:38,198 - I'd like to take another look at that spot. - Yeah, from this side. 1204 01:34:38,298 --> 01:34:41,207 You're just the greatest. I love you both. 1205 01:34:41,718 --> 01:34:46,414 - Gwen. Gwen, that was his best stunt ever. - It was his last, Max. 1206 01:34:50,018 --> 01:34:53,132 - Zoom! - Wild stunt. 1207 01:34:54,355 --> 01:34:56,508 Max, Max, we did it. 1208 01:34:56,608 --> 01:35:00,637 We just filmed the most extraordinary stunt of all time, and we got it. 1209 01:35:00,737 --> 01:35:02,429 - Tony? - Yeah, Max? 1210 01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:04,015 You're fired. 1211 01:35:04,115 --> 01:35:06,228 Right, Mr. Berns. 1212 01:35:27,347 --> 01:35:28,748 Spectacular. 1213 01:35:28,848 --> 01:35:31,917 Wonderful. I knew you could do it. 1214 01:35:32,018 --> 01:35:34,879 I never saw anything like it. 1215 01:35:34,979 --> 01:35:38,633 It was wonderful. What can I say? It was wonderful. 1216 01:35:38,733 --> 01:35:41,972 Hooper, can I speak to you for a sec? 1217 01:35:50,787 --> 01:35:54,274 Look, I know we didn't get along on this picture. 1218 01:35:54,374 --> 01:35:57,113 I also know you think I'm a tyrannical egomaniac. 1219 01:35:58,586 --> 01:36:00,779 Well, maybe it's true... 1220 01:36:00,880 --> 01:36:04,242 but films are tiny pieces of time... 1221 01:36:04,342 --> 01:36:06,828 and we captured it. 1222 01:36:06,928 --> 01:36:08,580 I only do it for one reason. 1223 01:36:08,680 --> 01:36:11,874 To make the best movie I can... 1224 01:36:11,975 --> 01:36:15,128 because I'm a pro just like you. 1225 01:36:15,228 --> 01:36:17,796 I'm also big enough to apologize... 1226 01:36:17,897 --> 01:36:21,512 and I know you're big enough to accept. 1227 01:36:24,779 --> 01:36:26,346 Well, Roger... 1228 01:36:27,282 --> 01:36:28,849 as usual... 1229 01:36:30,994 --> 01:36:33,187 you're wrong. 99931

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