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1
00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,172
There it is.
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,506
Kill it.
3
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,242
Dewey, a spider has
just as much right
4
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,144
to live as you or I.
5
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:13,181
Besides, it's unlucky
to kill it in the house.
6
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,684
Okay.
7
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,086
Hello, little fella.
8
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:19,887
Come on, sweetheart.
9
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,255
Oh!
10
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,829
Go! Go! Go!
11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,399
Open the door! Open the door!
12
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,900
Front or back or side?!
13
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,736
Side. No, back.
No, front! Front!
14
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,841
Oh, my God,
did we just...?
15
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,875
Go.
16
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,244
She can only ground me.
17
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,613
Get your keys and go.
18
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,914
But...
Go!
19
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:53,554
♪ Yes, no, maybe
20
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,090
♪ I don't know
21
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:59,293
♪ Can you repeat the question?
22
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,529
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
23
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,897
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
24
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,367
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
25
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,402
♪ And you're not so big
26
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,704
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
27
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,940
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
28
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,442
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
29
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:18,312
♪ And you're not so big
30
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:23,284
♪ Life is unfair.
31
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,292
My dad's company picnic
is tomorrow.
32
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,127
Laurie Millbrook is going
to be there.
33
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,729
I've kind of had a crush on her
since third grade.
34
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,802
I haven't seen her since
she moved across town last year.
35
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,104
I've grown about
four inches since then,
36
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,806
but I can't just count on that.
37
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,775
If I do, like, 10,000
of these tonight,
38
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,278
I should have something
to show by tomorrow.
39
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,347
Dewey, no candy
tomorrow.
40
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,582
Do you understand?
41
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,649
But I'll be fine.
42
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:56,817
No, you won't.
43
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,486
What happened at the
last company picnic?
44
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:02,022
I got in a fight
with that redheaded boy.
45
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,391
And why did you do that?
46
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,026
'Cause I ate candy.
47
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,095
Because you ate candy.
48
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:10,698
You do not metabolize
sugar well.
49
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,132
You get mean
and crazy,
50
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,134
you get into fights
and you end up crying.
51
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,170
Do you want that to
happen again this year?
52
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,505
No.
No.
53
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:18,839
Now go get
ready for bed.
54
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,341
Okay.
55
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,210
What do you think?
This..
56
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,312
or this?
57
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,946
What are you doing?
58
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,282
This is an important
office function, Lois.
59
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,850
It's a company picnic.
60
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,652
A picnic attended
by my new boss,
61
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,020
whom I haven't met yet.
62
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,523
I have to start off
on the right foot.
63
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,391
Hal, you're making
too much of this.
64
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,392
No, I am not.
65
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,460
If I've learned one thing
66
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,695
it's that you have to make
a good first impression.
67
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,465
It sets a tone for
the entire relationship.
68
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,166
MAN: Hal, this is your
new supervisor
69
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,635
Ms. Plum.
70
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,002
Great to meet you, Hal.
71
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,804
I'm really looking forward
to working with you.
72
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,240
Same here.
73
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:55,809
: Oh, and
what do we have here?
74
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,348
:
My big fat stomach.
75
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,417
You know, I'd like you
to meet your staff
76
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,185
but I'm not quite sure
where everyone went.
77
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,996
It is great to meet you,
Mr. Jacobson.
78
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,331
I just want you to know
79
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,033
that I am going to do
a terrific job for you.
80
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,735
Well, that's great, Hal.
I'm sure you are.
81
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,537
Have you met my daughter
and son-in-law?
82
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:24,872
No, I haven't
had the pleasure.
83
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,874
Kelly? Steve?
84
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,310
I want you
to meet somebody.
85
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:30,844
Hi, I'm Hal.
86
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,179
Hi, Hal.
87
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,547
So, nice...
88
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,349
Oh, oh!
89
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,250
Oh, my God!
90
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,453
There's a toothpick in my eye!
91
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,788
She's gushing blood.
92
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,424
For God's sakes, somebody put
a tourniquet on her neck!
93
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:46,427
KELLY:
I'm outside of my body.
94
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,362
I can see a light.
95
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,230
Grandma, is that you?
96
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,732
You son of a bitch!
97
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,233
I'm going
to chew off your face!
98
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,302
I'm going
to spit it out
99
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,469
and I'm going
to dance on it!
100
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,737
I'm going
to kill you!
101
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,205
I'm going to drag
your carcass
102
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,373
through
the streets!
103
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,375
She's got a toothpick
in her eye!
104
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,712
It's like
a chess game, Lois.
105
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,047
Every subtle move
is vital.
106
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,617
Eight...
107
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,656
Oh, my God!
108
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,057
What'd you do?
You're huge!
109
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:19,091
Shut up.
I'd be careful.
110
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,428
You might frighten Laurie
with your savage manliness.
111
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,896
Who says I'm doing
it for Laurie?
112
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,932
Oh, so Laurie's
fair game, then?
113
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,134
I wonder if she
likes older men.
114
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,101
Reese, don't.
115
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,570
Look, I really
like this girl.
116
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,138
Please.
117
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,740
It's my first chance
to see her
118
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,741
since she moved away.
119
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,075
I'm asking you
as a brother.
120
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,144
Please don't be a jerk
and screw this up.
121
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,814
Wow, this desperate
groveling is new for you.
122
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,483
Keep it up.
123
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,288
LAVERNIA:
You call yourselves
a hockey team?
124
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,990
If we're going
to beat McAllister Oil,
125
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,291
you're going
to have to play
126
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,760
a hell of a lot
better than that.
127
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,127
You're making
stupid mistakes.
128
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,596
You're missing opportunities.
129
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,598
You got to keep
your mind on the game.
130
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,200
Are our paychecks
here yet?
131
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,437
Aren't you done
with that sink yet?
132
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,472
Are you kidding?
133
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,440
There's more in here
than when I started.
134
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,208
You're not leaving
till that sink is finished.
135
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,711
It would go a lot faster
if Eric were helping.
136
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,947
I'm not letting my star player
anywhere near that toxic filth.
137
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,783
I slave away all day
by myself
138
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,618
just because
he plays hockey?
139
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,187
He doesn't just play hockey.
140
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,689
He skates like the wind.
141
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,224
And he's got
a 70-mile-an-hour slap shot.
142
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,326
Well, indoors...
fresh ice.
143
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,363
We're going to teach those thugs
from the oil rig a lesson
144
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,864
they'll never forget.
145
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,533
Those chicks won't
know what hit 'em.
146
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,067
You're playing girls?
147
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,237
Well, the men won't play us
till we beat their ladies team.
148
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,672
PETE:
We're fed up
with those girls.
149
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,908
They play dirty,
they make fun of us
150
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,510
and they steal
our women.
151
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:45,178
Wow. People who
are actually more
humiliated than me.
152
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,647
I'd love
to see that.
153
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,715
Wish granted.
154
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,316
You're our new
equipment manager.
155
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,350
What?
156
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:51,985
Renaldo came down
with jock lung.
157
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,087
Here's your check.
158
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,556
Here you go, Eric.
159
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,525
There's a little something
extra in there for you.
160
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,426
Thanks.
161
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,393
Wait a minute.
162
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,028
There's no money
in this check.
163
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,195
It says I owe you $14.
164
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,231
I didn't even buy
anything last week.
165
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,667
There's been some
cost of living increases.
166
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,268
Your room, your board,
your pillow rental,
167
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,770
then there's those
rubber gloves
168
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,338
you insist on wearing,
princess.
169
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,840
This is insane.
170
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,775
I'm not going to work
60 hours a week
171
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,710
and still end up
owing you money.
172
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:17,711
I quit.
173
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,547
Fine. Just give me
the $604 you racked up
174
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,248
since you got here,
you're free to go.
175
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,850
What?
176
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,420
How could I possibly
have $604 when you keep
taking all my money?!
177
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:27,721
Well, then shut up!
178
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,056
And get back to work.
179
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,624
And you better not
180
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,460
let your equipment
manager duties
181
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,562
get in the way
of your real work.
182
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,300
Man, that sucks.
183
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,138
Hello.
184
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,406
Malcolm, great.
It's me-- Francis.
185
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,808
Listen,
I'm in a real bind up here...
186
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,209
Francis, I don't have any money.
187
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,243
Wait, hear me out.
188
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,545
Tell Mom they're sending
189
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,647
all the smart kids
to Washington, DC.
190
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,983
Hit her up for $600
and then just spend
191
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,117
a long a weekend at Stevie's...
192
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,586
Reese, phone.
193
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,420
Hello.
194
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:01,421
Reese, great.
195
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,591
Um, you know that hardware
store on Second?
196
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,993
Okay, they've got a real
slippery entryway...
197
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,729
Dewey, phone.
198
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,730
Francis?
199
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,664
Yep.
200
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:11,999
Money?
Yep.
201
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,481
I don't know why
I go to these things.
202
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,617
I am so nervous.
203
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:32,653
My stomach sounds like
a bunch of dogs fighting.
204
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,754
Listen to this.
205
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,255
Put your ear down there.
206
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,690
Hal, you'll be fine.
207
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,629
What are you doing?
208
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:42,630
Just keep moving.
209
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,998
Hal, do you even know
your new boss is here?
210
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,800
Are you kidding?
They're all here.
211
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:47,835
There's Landon.
212
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,270
He's the head
of the whole company.
213
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,672
Of course
the new guy's here.
214
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:52,673
Don't talk nonsense!
215
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,207
Well, you've never
met the man.
216
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,276
Do you even know
who you're hiding from?
217
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,311
That's a good point.
218
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,448
Barry, is the new boss
here yet?
219
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,150
Yeah. He's right
over there.
220
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,620
Let me know when you're
going to introduce yourself.
221
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,021
Most of us figure
222
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,790
you're going
to set him on fire.
223
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,559
Hey, no fair giving
him ideas. Bet's off.
224
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,561
Come on, fellas, I'm
nervous enough as it is.
225
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,796
Hal, we're just
teasing you.
226
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,565
Come on. You'll do fine.
227
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,700
You and I both know
that's a lie.
228
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,902
Yeah, well, I tried.
229
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:34,648
Oh, hi, Mom.
230
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,717
Splendid day
for a picnic.
231
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,150
You want to do this
the easy way
232
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,186
or the hard way?
233
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,589
The hard way.
234
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,756
Spread 'em.
235
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:53,601
Honey, I'm not always going
to be around to do this.
236
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,703
You have
to control yourself.
237
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,204
I know.
238
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,109
Undies.
239
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,884
Malcolm?
240
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,519
Laurie, hi.
241
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,387
It's so good
to see you.
242
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:18,358
Yeah... good
to see you, too.
243
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,294
Wow, I can't believe
how tall you are.
244
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,730
Yeah... well, you know.
245
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,964
Oh, man,
246
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,398
I've missed
you guys so much.
247
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,867
I've missed you, too...
248
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,202
I mean, we've
all missed you.
249
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,971
Everyone. Not just me.
250
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,040
Hey, are you doing that
three-legged scavenger hunt?
251
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,642
The what?
They tie your leg
252
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,209
to another person
and send you off
253
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,477
into the woods
to find stuff.
254
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,312
It might be fun.
Plus you can win $100.
255
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,948
I just need
a partner.
256
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,150
Do you want to do it?
257
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,384
Really?
258
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,819
Yeah. It sounds great.
259
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,655
Cool.
260
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,556
Is that your brother?
261
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,758
Hi, Reese.
262
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,125
Sorry, I'm gay.
263
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,961
Okay.
264
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,237
You work for the company
or are you a drag-along?
265
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,739
Definitely a drag-along.
266
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:06,840
Oh, me, too.
Me, too.
267
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,242
My husband drags me along
to these functions,
268
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,244
then he runs off
and talks to his friends.
269
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,946
I hide.
Hide?
270
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,115
From my kids.
271
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,084
It's so great to have
somebody to talk to.
272
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,019
I'm really so bad
at social situations.
273
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,288
My psychiatrist says
274
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,290
that I'm emotionally
detached
275
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,659
and that I have
paranoid fantasies
276
00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:28,696
about what people
are thinking about me.
277
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,031
Uh-huh.
278
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,499
Yeah.
279
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,702
Sometimes it can
get really ugly.
280
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,537
False accusations,
crying jags.
281
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,472
I don't know why
my husband married me.
282
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,341
Oh, I mean, I know
why I married him, of course.
283
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,111
Because I'm addicted
to disapproval.
284
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,612
Ah. Really?
285
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,647
Oh, yeah, yeah.
286
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,883
Of course, I only have
myself to blame
287
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,119
because he's exactly
like my father was.
288
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,355
Oh, my God,
he was so judgmental.
289
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,724
Every time
I opened my mouth,
290
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,658
I felt like
I was torturing him.
291
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,896
Go! Good hustle!
292
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,498
Nice slashing!
293
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,167
Guys, let's go!
294
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,736
Keep it moving!
295
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,470
Keep your legs moving!
296
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,140
Good!
297
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,475
Push it!
298
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,744
Good move, Wendy!
299
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,011
Don't relax!
300
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,747
Wow, they're good.
301
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,015
They got nothing
on my boy.
302
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,316
How's the diarrhea?
303
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,417
You feeling all right?
304
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,652
Tip-top.
305
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,354
Hey, Coach, there's Lavernia.
306
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,323
I hear she might actually
have a team this year.
307
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,159
You think we ought
to adjust the front line?
308
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,427
Clarence... Clarence.
309
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,329
What?
310
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,498
Oh, hey, Lavernia.
311
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,767
I was afraid
312
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,501
you'd show
your face.
313
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,436
Not that I was afraid
you'd play me--
314
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,840
just that you'd
show your face. Ha!
315
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,175
Hello, Clarence.
316
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,511
I thought you only gave
your pep talks in your van.
317
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,613
Ah, you'll get a boyfriend
one of these days.
318
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:57,017
You'll have that
moment of bliss,
319
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,518
and then you'll
bite his head off
320
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,088
and lay your rotten eggs
down his decapitated body.
321
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,456
Come on, was that
comment necessary?
322
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,793
That's exactly why
people don't like you.
323
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,460
People like me.
324
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,729
Who doesn't like me?
325
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,698
I got a good feeling
about today.
326
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,866
Look at these girls.
327
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,034
They're not
so tough.
328
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,302
Wait till I get
out there.
329
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,369
I'm going to go...
330
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,385
How's my breath?
331
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,921
It seems fine.
332
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,555
Not too minty?
333
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,057
'Cause that can
be just as bad.
334
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,926
Please give me
back my compact.
335
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,498
Okay, get in, get out.
336
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,634
Just say hello and go.
337
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,469
Nope.
338
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,072
Mr. Landon, hello.
339
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,240
Hey, Hal.
340
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,908
I told you about the first time
I met this guy, right?
341
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,743
The urinal cake guy.
342
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:58,946
Unbelievable.
343
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,413
But I didn't
fire him.
344
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,449
He's turned out to be
one of our finest
345
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,783
systems managers.
346
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,485
Just goes to show you
that even a gibbering idiot
347
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,087
can surprise you.
348
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,823
Oh, you know, sir, that would
make a great chapter heading
349
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:10,790
for your new book.
350
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,927
I thought he dropped
his pill case.
351
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,796
Excuse me for being considerate.
352
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,531
Hi. John Pratt!
353
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,300
It is a pleasure
to meet you!
354
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,368
Hi.
355
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,469
You are a hard man to find.
356
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,938
I finally had to have
someone point you out.
357
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,707
Well, it's not like
I'm avoiding you.
358
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,812
I had heard you had
a great sense of humor.
359
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,383
I know it's just
going to be great
working with you.
360
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,318
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
361
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,390
Well, I-I should get back
to my family now.
362
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,357
Oh, right, right.
363
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,692
I'm sorry to hold you up.
364
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,228
It is a real pleasure
to meet you, Mr. Landon.
365
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,430
Same here.
366
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,311
All right, boys,
you got ten minutes.
367
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,713
Leave your wallets
and other valuables in here.
368
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,714
And hustle up.
369
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:10,150
We got to get out on
the ice and warm up.
370
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,718
I don't think I can play.
371
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,221
My glute cramped up
on the ride over.
372
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,222
You have to play.
373
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,991
Go lay down
on that table.
374
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,326
You.
375
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,593
Get over there.
376
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,062
Give him a good,
strong massage.
377
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,264
Work that knot
out of his glute.
378
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,099
Out of his what?
379
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,603
No way!
380
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,272
He's our goalie.
We need him.
381
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,106
No!
382
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,608
Look, you owe me $604.
383
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,545
You do this,
I'll take off a dollar fifty.
384
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,013
A dollar fifty?!
385
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,014
And if you don't,
386
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,583
I'll charge you 50 bucks
for the ride home.
387
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,452
The rest of you
get out there!
388
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,620
Show them what you got.
389
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,789
Here, you're responsible
for these valuables
390
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,324
till after the game.
391
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,762
Don't be afraid
to dig in deep.
392
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,565
If it helps, I'll
unhitch the trapdoor.
393
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,974
LAVERNIA:
Get up, you idiot!
394
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,741
What, are you stupid?!
395
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,381
I said hustle to the crease!
396
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,116
Hustle!
397
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,285
Hey, I was just hanging out
in the locker room
398
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,886
and the other coach
approached me.
399
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,990
What's that gin-soaked,
reptilian sack of dog logs
400
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,291
trying to pull now?
401
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,226
He wants to make
a little wager with you
402
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,727
on the outcome of the game.
403
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,430
$642 to be exact.
404
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:31,798
I don't bet.
405
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,101
I earn my money,
and I hold on to it.
406
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,669
Yeah, he said
you'd be afraid.
407
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,471
Oh, he did?
408
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,607
He also said that
John Grisham was a hack
409
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,910
with no sense of plot
and a tin ear for dialogue.
410
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:44,911
What?!
411
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,346
He said that
about Mr. Grisham?
412
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:50,117
All right, he wants
to bet, we'll bet.
413
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,684
Tell him to make it $700.
414
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:55,088
He was pretty adamant
about the $642.
415
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,256
Fine.
416
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,790
Hey, Chuck!
417
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,260
I need you to hold on
to some bet money.
418
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,462
Okay.
419
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,864
That idiot Clarence
has no idea
420
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,367
what we've got
in store for him.
421
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,701
Go, go!
422
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:09,636
Go!
423
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,004
Oh, ho-ho!
424
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:16,209
Easiest $700 I ever made.
425
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,778
I don't know
what's with my skates.
426
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,712
The blades are so dull.
427
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,881
Hey, somebody unscrewed mine.
428
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:25,452
I got Vaseline
all over my grip tape.
429
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,888
MAN:
Go, go, go, go!
430
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,394
MEG:
He is never home.
431
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,129
The last time that
we had dinner together
432
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,330
was six months ago.
433
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,698
And that was with his boss.
434
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,168
Oh, and did I tell you
about our anniversary?
435
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,669
I bought $30 worth
of candles.
436
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,903
$30 worth.
437
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,239
And I was wearing a negligee
the size of a postage stamp.
438
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,641
He walks in an hour late,
goes straight to the computer
439
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,543
and spends the next six hours
in a chat room.
440
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:53,413
I drank an entire
bottle of champagne.
441
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,815
Then I passed out and
I woke up the next morning
442
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,884
with the dog licking my face.
443
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,687
And I actually thought
it was my husband.
444
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,255
I'm going to go see
what my boys...
445
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,191
I mean, as if
he would ever show me
446
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,392
any kind of affection.
447
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:06,858
I mean, as far
as he's concerned,
448
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,395
I am still the fat lady
449
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,029
that answered
his psychiatrist's phone.
450
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,898
I mean, in my mind
451
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,202
I do see myself
as a 200-pounder.
452
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,204
But I have seen the way
that other men look at me.
453
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,406
Wanda!
454
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,873
Oh, it's so good
to see you again.
455
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,409
Wanda, this is Meg.
Meg, this is Wanda.
456
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,243
Why don't you two get
to know each other.
457
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,778
I'm going to get
something to drink.
458
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,012
I'll be right back.
459
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,348
Um...
460
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,917
So, how do you know Lois?
461
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,820
Que?
462
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,890
I like you.
You're fun.
463
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,759
I like you, too.
464
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,494
Want some of my candy?
465
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:47,634
But he... My... my candy!
466
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,037
You fill up
on that bread.
467
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,706
Better you get sick
on that than on candy.
468
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,941
You understand me?
469
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,876
I got enough
to worry about
470
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,346
without you going
crazy on me.
471
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,816
Stay here!
472
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:12,992
Hi, Lois.
473
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,327
Are you hiding back here?
474
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,463
No, no.
Just enjoying the shade.
475
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,064
Did you meet your
new boss yet?
476
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,666
Yep.
Well, how did it go?
477
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,801
Fine. Good guy.
We really hit it off.
478
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,636
What happened?
479
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,172
What do you mean,
"What happened?"
480
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,439
It went well.
He likes me.
481
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,107
Is that such
a hard thing to imagine
482
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,476
I made a good
first impression?
483
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,777
PRATT:
Hey, Mr. Landon!
484
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,179
You should give me
a little credit.
485
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,946
Mr. Landon! Hey, boss!
486
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,148
Is that man
call...
487
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,183
Of course he isn't.
488
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,117
Whatever you were
going to say--
489
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,786
whatever that was--
he isn't.
490
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,754
Hal, I'm not going
anywhere until you ex...
491
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,323
Lois! Lois!
492
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,593
PRATT:
Excuse me.
493
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,395
Mr. Landon!
494
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,665
So, did I tell you
495
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,635
that his mother
is coming to visit me this week?
496
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:59,005
I mean, she despises me,
but at least she talks to me.
497
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,773
My husband, on the other hand
498
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,476
hasn't said two words
besides "Where's the remote?"
499
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,012
and "How far are those
going to sag?"
500
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,447
This really isn't
a good time.
501
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,948
And every year
502
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,717
he has to go to this
stupid get-together
503
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,185
for his old friends
from college.
504
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:13,786
We're about to walk
into this party
505
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:14,854
and he turns to me
506
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,689
and he tells me
not to say anything stupid.
507
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,958
Well, how's a person
supposed to respond to that?
508
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,026
I embarrass him one time.
509
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,060
I mean, big deal
510
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,329
I didn't know who
Ernest Hemingway was.
511
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,930
I mean a lot
of people don't.
512
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,667
All right, girls.
Secure.
513
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,503
Okay, Pete and Kathy,
you're next.
514
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,740
It's so great to see
you again, Malcolm.
515
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,542
Great to see you, too.
516
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,744
For those of you
without partners
517
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,579
we've done
a random pairing.
518
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,147
Mike and Cristina.
519
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,915
Reese and George.
520
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,517
I'm Reese.
521
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,353
I'm George.
522
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,154
You can call me George.
523
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,723
I can eat eight hot dogs.
524
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,926
That's good, George.
525
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,729
You've got to be kidding me.
526
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,231
It's really weird
being away
527
00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,832
from all my friends
I grew up with.
528
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,401
I'll bet.
529
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,737
Malcolm, can I
ask you something?
530
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,839
Sure.
531
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,241
If you liked somebody
532
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:11,010
and you had no idea
if they liked you back,
533
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,845
would you say something?
534
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,182
I've always thought
honesty was a good thing.
535
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,517
Me, too.
536
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,186
But... what if they
lived too far away
537
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,689
and it'd be really hard?
538
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,757
I like you, too, Laurie.
539
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,626
I really, really like you.
540
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,628
Honestly,
you have no idea.
541
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,896
I've liked you for years.
542
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,864
I think about you
all the time.
543
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,266
Oh, no.
544
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,034
What?
545
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,303
Oh, my God.
546
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,405
I am so sorry.
547
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,207
I was talking
about Gary Spindler.
548
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,442
Oh, no.
549
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,243
Oh. It's okay.
550
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,045
No. This is so humiliating
551
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,146
and it's all my fault.
552
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:50,283
Oh, Malcolm, I am so sorry.
553
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,884
Really, it's not that...
554
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,853
Malcolm and Laurie.
555
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,989
Now remember,
556
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,926
you're only going
to be tied together
for three hours,
557
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,794
so let's get hopping.
37476
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