Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:29,779
Theres Something About Mary - Extended Cut 1998 English
2
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:42,699
♪ His friends would say ♪
♪ Stop whining, they've had enough of that ♪
3
00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:47,289
♪ His friends would say ♪
♪ Stop pining, there's other girls to look at ♪
4
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:53,669
♪ They've tried to set him up ♪
♪ With Tiffany and Indigo ♪
5
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:59,799
♪ But there's something about Mary ♪
♪ That they don't know ♪
6
00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:02,679
♪ Mary ♪
7
00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:07,969
♪ There's just something about Mary ♪
8
00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:16,189
♪ Well, his friends say ♪
♪ Look, life's no fairy tale ♪
9
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:21,649
♪ That he should have some fun ♪
♪ He's suffered long enough ♪
10
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:27,819
♪ Well, they may know ♪
♪ About domestic and imported ale ♪
11
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,119
♪ But they don't know a thing about love ♪
12
00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:39,209
♪ Well, his friends would say ♪
♪ He's dreaming and living in the past ♪
13
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:45,349
♪ But they've never fallen in love ♪
♪ So his friends need not be asked ♪
14
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:52,509
♪ His friends would say, Be reasonable ♪
♪ His friends would say, Let go ♪
15
00:01:53,980 --> 00:02:00,859
♪ But there's something about Mary ♪
♪ That they don't know ♪
16
00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:03,319
♪ Mary ♪
17
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,789
♪ There's just something about Mary ♪
18
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:22,839
When I was 16 years old, I fell in love.
19
00:02:25,140 --> 00:02:26,179
Hey, Renise.
20
00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:29,349
Hey.
21
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,679
So, what's up?
22
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,849
Cool.
23
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:45,199
So I was wondering, I don't know
if maybe you wanted to and... Or not.
24
00:02:45,370 --> 00:02:47,239
If you don't want to, you don't have to.
25
00:02:47,410 --> 00:02:50,529
I just wondered if maybe
you were going to the prom, and...
26
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:55,919
Or if you felt like that,
maybe you'd wanna go with me.
27
00:02:56,090 --> 00:02:59,999
Or, I mean, whatever. If you didn't...
28
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,089
Did you take that bio test?
Because that was, like...
29
00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:06,919
I heard this rumour that this guy I like
was gonna ask me...
30
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,679
so I'm gonna wait and see
what happens there.
31
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:13,259
That sounds great. Yeah.
32
00:03:14,270 --> 00:03:15,929
Okay.
33
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:23,859
- So is that, like, a yes or a no or...?
- I thought I made it perfectly clear.
34
00:03:24,030 --> 00:03:26,689
If everything else falls apart...
35
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,609
maybe.
36
00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:32,609
I'm gonna hold you to that.
37
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:41,129
- Hey, guys.
- Hay, Mary.
38
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:46,509
I wonder who she's going with.
39
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:50,969
Her name was Mary.
40
00:03:51,140 --> 00:03:54,929
She moved to our little Rhode Island town
from Minnesota two years earlier.
41
00:03:57,650 --> 00:03:59,059
What a fox.
42
00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:02,189
I heard she's going
with some guy named Woogie.
43
00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:07,739
- Who?
- Big guy. Goes to Barrington High.
44
00:04:07,910 --> 00:04:11,949
Woogie from Bore-ington High?
Sounds like a loser.
45
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:13,659
Loser?
46
00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:19,499
Woogie's only, like, all-state football
and basketball and fucking valedictorian.
47
00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:23,669
I heard he got a scholarship to Princeton,
but he's going to Europe first to model.
48
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,459
Yeah? I was thinking of doing that.
49
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,339
Sorry.
50
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,629
Have you...? Have you seen my baseball?
51
00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:35,719
No, no. Sorry, man. Haven't seen it.
52
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,059
Have you seen my baseball?
53
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:41,819
- No.
- Sorry.
54
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:46,019
Hey, check it out.
55
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,859
Have you seen my baseball?
56
00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:52,869
Hey, buddy. Come here.
I think I know where your ball is.
57
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,789
- You seen my baseball?
- Yeah, yeah, I seen it.
58
00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:00,489
You see that girl over there?
59
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:04,749
She has it,
except she doesn't call it a baseball.
60
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,289
She's got another name for it.
61
00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:13,129
Nice muffs.
62
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,139
- Have you seen my wiener?
- What?
63
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,559
Have you seen my wiener?
64
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:23,899
- What the hell did you just say, buddy?
- Wiener?
65
00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:26,979
Get your hand off my car.
What the hell did you just say to me?
66
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:29,979
My wiener.
67
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,909
You fucking son of a bitch.
I'm gonna fucking kick your ass.
68
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,159
- Come on, get up, fat boy. Let's go.
- Hey, Smokey, take it easy.
69
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,209
- Who the fuck are you?
- The guy's not all there.
70
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:44,289
Get out of my face. Come on.
You want the first punch?
71
00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:46,999
- Yeah! Fight, fight, fight!
- Fight, fight, fight!
72
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:50,499
What's the matter with you? Stop it.
73
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:54,259
- You okay, Warren?
- Mary, have you seen my baseball?
74
00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:55,969
No, I haven't seen your baseball.
75
00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:59,759
What are you doing leaving the yard?
You're not supposed to leave by yourself.
76
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,769
- You know him?
- He's my brother.
77
00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:03,309
I'm her brother.
78
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:06,189
- Warren.
- I didn't realise, you know?
79
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,899
- You ought to tell him to watch his mouth.
- Jerk.
80
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:16,029
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
81
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,149
You okay?
82
00:06:20,790 --> 00:06:21,829
Thanks, Ted.
83
00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:25,289
I couldn't believe it. She knew my name.
84
00:06:25,460 --> 00:06:28,499
Some of my best friends
didn't know my name.
85
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,629
I think that Joe Montana is, like,
the most underrated quarterback.
86
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,139
I mean, he should have been
a first-round draft pick.
87
00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:39,019
Look what he did at Notre Dame.
It's so ridiculous.
88
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:42,639
- Exactly.
- I'm telling you, this year, it's the 49ers.
89
00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:46,269
- 49ers.
- All the way.
90
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,569
- Piggyback ride. Piggyback.
- Warren, stop it. Leave Ted alone.
91
00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:54,729
No, that's okay, I'll do it.
I mean, if you think he can hold me.
92
00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:58,529
Are you kidding me? He's 230 pounds,
he can hold you. You don't have to.
93
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:02,239
No, it's okay. I got a little disc thing,
but it's all right. Here we go.
94
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,779
Giddy-up, Warren. There we go.
95
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,919
- That's fun, huh, Warren?
- He's a real Clydesdale, isn't he?
96
00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:11,669
Yeah, Warren, bucking bronco. Okay.
97
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,799
My turn now. My turn.
98
00:07:13,970 --> 00:07:17,839
- Okay, well, I don't...
- It's okay, Ted. You don't have to.
99
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,469
- Giddy-up. Giddy-up.
- That's fun.
100
00:07:22,770 --> 00:07:25,349
That's fun, huh, Warren?
101
00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:36,649
That was fun.
102
00:07:36,950 --> 00:07:38,739
- He's only 230, huh?
- Yeah.
103
00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:42,529
- I'm in the yard now. I'll hide.
- Okay, go hide.
104
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,619
- He's got a lot of energy.
- Yeah.
105
00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:47,999
- He's great. I have a lot of fun with him.
- Yeah.
106
00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:52,799
- Thanks for walking us back.
- Yeah, no problem.
107
00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:56,889
- I'm just gonna-I'm gonna...
- So are you going to the prom?
108
00:08:01,430 --> 00:08:04,639
- I think proms are dumb.
- I thought maybe we could go together.
109
00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:08,059
Oh, you're gonna go with, like,
a bunch of people, or...?
110
00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,069
Yeah. If you want a designated driver...
111
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,519
No, no. I mean you and me.
112
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,909
Like, we could go together.
The two of us.
113
00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:20,569
- You and me?
- Yeah.
114
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:27,239
Well, is that a yes or a no?
115
00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:30,659
- Sure. All right.
- Good.
116
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,579
Cool.
117
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,969
I'm gonna take Warren back inside.
I'll see you at school.
118
00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:39,469
- Bye.
- Cool. Catch you back at school.
119
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:45,599
From that moment on, the guys at school
looked at me in a whole new light.
120
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:47,729
You're a fucking liar.
121
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:51,729
Do you expect us to believe
that you're going to the prom with Mary?
122
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:54,269
What's so crazy about that?
123
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,859
Oh, yeah, dirt bud,
and I'm going with Cyndi Lauper.
124
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:01,619
- What happened to Woogie?
- She said she broke up with him.
125
00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:06,579
- That he was getting weird on her.
- I got 20 bucks that says you're full of shit.
126
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,829
- Why not make it a hundred?
- Rock on.
127
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,119
- I'm in.
- Me too.
128
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:38,729
I've paid him enough money. I'm not paying
until the job gets done. He can kiss my ass.
129
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,409
What the hell do you want?
130
00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:50,249
I'm Ted Stroehmann.
I'm here to take Mary to the prom.
131
00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:51,659
Prom?
132
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,079
Mary went to the prom 20 minutes ago
with her boyfriend, Woogie.
133
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:57,249
- Woogie?
- Woogie.
134
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,129
I see.
135
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,469
Charlie, you are so mean.
136
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,729
This is Mary's stepfather, Charlie.
I'm Sheila, her mother.
137
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,509
Ted, don't pay attention to anything
he says. He's a laugh a minute.
138
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:14,979
That's very funny.
139
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:18,359
I'm just having a little fun with the guy.
It's prom night.
140
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,939
Woogie's got a sense of humour.
141
00:10:23,030 --> 00:10:24,949
Oh, hey. Hi, Warren.
142
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:29,079
Listen, once he gets into that MTV,
he'll be there for quite a while.
143
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:35,119
Here she comes.
Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
144
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,039
Shit, look at that.
You better be careful, boy.
145
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,019
Hi, Ted.
146
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,609
Hi, Mary. You look really pretty.
147
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,069
Thanks. I like your colours.
148
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,909
Oh, thanks.
The guy said it was tan and taupe.
149
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,949
Poor Ted's been getting it both barrels
from the Wisenheimer here.
150
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:17,919
Dad, you haven't been busting Ted's chops,
have you?
151
00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:21,079
I was just fucking with him, right, Ted?
You know.
152
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:26,599
- Hey, Warren, did you say hi to Ted?
- About 10 times.
153
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:27,849
Okay.
154
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,879
Hey, Warren,
I think I found your baseball.
155
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:34,219
- You've seen my baseball?
- Well, if it's a big white one?
156
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,689
With little red stitching?
157
00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:41,899
Yup, it is.
158
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:45,189
Then I think I saw it
right behind your ear.
159
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,409
Warren, Warren, Warren. Hold it.
160
00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:52,119
Get up, boy. Hey, Warren.
161
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,829
Be careful, man.
162
00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,739
- Get up, man.
- Warren.
163
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,539
Let go of him. Get down from there.
164
00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:00,879
- Hey, Ted, what are you doing, man?
- Ted.Ted.
165
00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:02,789
Warren, put him down now.
166
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:07,219
- What the hell are you doing?
- Here, here. Mary, come around here.
167
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:08,799
This is my house, here.
168
00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:13,559
- Okay, sweetheart, okay.
- It's okay, Warren. It's okay. Here you go.
169
00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:16,889
- What's the matter with you?
- I was trying to give him the baseball.
170
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,679
- Baseball? What baseball?
- I had a baseball. I know he likes baseball.
171
00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:23,319
- What baseball?
- There was a... It's right...
172
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:25,099
There was a baseball here, I swear.
173
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:29,149
I brought him a baseball, and I was
just trying to give him a present.
174
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:32,039
- Are you yelling at me in my own house?
- No.
175
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,619
Don't make me have to open
a can of whup-ass on you.
176
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:37,779
Ted, I should have told you.
He has a thing about his ears.
177
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:40,329
You all right, Warren?
178
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,459
Honey, your strap's broken.
179
00:12:44,550 --> 00:12:45,669
You're right.
180
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,299
Hey, Ted, I'm just gonna go upstairs
real quick, okay?
181
00:12:48,470 --> 00:12:49,679
I just need two minutes.
182
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:52,679
- I gotta fix my dress.
- I'll help you, honey.
183
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:55,509
- Yeah, yeah.
- Can I use your bathroom, sir?
184
00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:56,719
I've gotta...
185
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,679
- He broke the table.
- Son of a bitch.
186
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,269
- I didn't do it.
- It's all right. It's all right.
187
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,779
- I swear there was...
- The bathroom is that way.
188
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:05,979
A baseball.
189
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,859
Maybe I'll open up a can of whup-ass
on him.
190
00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:12,899
Trying to do the kid a favour.
191
00:13:46,070 --> 00:13:47,689
Is he looking at you? What is he...?
192
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:50,029
- What is he doing down there?
- Oh, no, I...
193
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,189
- No, no, I wasn't... I wasn't...
- Mom, wait.
194
00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:54,659
- Cover yourself. Cover yourself.
- Shit!
195
00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:12,429
- Ted, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine. Every thing's okay.
196
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,339
Okay Okay, just take your time.
It's all right.
197
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,009
You know, he's been in there
over a half an hour.
198
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,009
Charlie, I think he's masturbating.
199
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:22,979
- Oh, come on.
- Mom.
200
00:14:23,150 --> 00:14:24,769
He's not masturbating.
201
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:27,649
He was watching you undress
with a silly grin on his face.
202
00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:30,309
No, I was watching the birds.
203
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:32,399
- Do something.
- What do you want me to do?
204
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,909
I think he needs some male help.
205
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:40,119
- Oh, for crying out...
- No, Dad, just give him a minute.
206
00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:44,749
- Okay, kid. Listen, I'm coming in, okay?
- No, no. Don't.
207
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,289
Now, exactly what the hell is the
situation? What, did you shit yourself?
208
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,249
Oh, I wish.
209
00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:52,379
I got it stuck.
210
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,839
You got what stuck?
211
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,299
It.
212
00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:59,549
It.
213
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:05,639
Well, listen, it's not the end of the
world. These kind of things happen.
214
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,319
Let's have a look at it.
215
00:15:10,780 --> 00:15:12,569
Oh, for God and heaven's sake!
216
00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:16,899
- Quiet.
- Sheila.
217
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,409
- No.
- Sheila, honey?
218
00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:20,949
Don't...
219
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,909
Sheila, honey, you gotta come here.
You gotta see this.
220
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,919
- What is it?
- What? No.
221
00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:29,549
- Come in here, honey.
- No. No, don't.
222
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,919
Don't worry, she's a dental hygienist.
She'll know what to do.
223
00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:35,679
- Hi, Ted.
- Hi, Mrs. Jensen. How are you?
224
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,339
- You okay?
- Yeah.
225
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,089
Holy shit.
226
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,929
- Charlie, you could have warned me.
- Keep it down.
227
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,769
- Okay, I...
- I'm sorry, Mrs. Jensen.
228
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:47,149
I don't want Mary to...
I don't want her to hear.
229
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,179
Yeah. Let's just relax here, okay?
230
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:55,359
Now, what exactly
are we looking at here?
231
00:15:55,740 --> 00:16:00,029
- What do you mean? What...?
- Well, I mean, is it the...?
232
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,579
Or the...?
233
00:16:03,370 --> 00:16:05,289
- Is it the frank or the beans?
- Right.
234
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:10,079
I don't know. It looks like...
I think it's a little bit of both.
235
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:14,049
- Franks and beans. Franks and beans.
- Warren, quiet.
236
00:16:14,510 --> 00:16:17,919
- What's that bubble there?
- What do you think? It's a...
237
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:21,589
Well, how the hell did you get the beans
above the frank? I mean...
238
00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:24,729
I don't know. It wasn't like
it was a well-thought-out plan.
239
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:28,389
You know, there really does seem to be
a lot of skin coming through there...
240
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,229
so I'm gonna find some Bactine, honey.
241
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,729
No. You know what?
I don't need any. Really.
242
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,439
- Hello there.
- Oh, Christ.
243
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,399
What the hell's going on here?
244
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:43,449
- Neighbours said they heard a lady scream.
- Well, you're looking at him.
245
00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:46,529
You gotta take a look at this thing.
246
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:50,289
- Oh, Jesus.
- Ain't it a beaut?
247
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,959
What the hell were you thinking?
248
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:58,419
How the hell did you get the zipper
all the way to the top?
249
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,429
Well, let's just say the kid's limber.
250
00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:06,849
- Christ. What the...? God.
- You okay?
251
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:10,009
Somebody's gonna have to move
that station waggon so I can get in.
252
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:11,929
- Lenny, come here.
- Who...?
253
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:16,229
Take a look at what this numb nuts did.
254
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,609
Holy shit.
255
00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:25,779
Mike, Eddie, get down here quick.
Bring everybody. Bring a camera.
256
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,449
You're not gonna believe this.
We got a kid down here...
257
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,909
- What's your name?
- No, I...
258
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:33,749
No, there's only one thing to do here.
259
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,459
What? No. You know what? I got an idea.
Look, look. I can just...
260
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,379
We don't have to do anything, because,
look, I can just wear this over the front.
261
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,769
- I can go to the prom, deal with it later.
- Son, relax.
262
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:47,179
You already laid the tracks.
That's the hard part.
263
00:17:47,350 --> 00:17:48,939
Now we're just gonna back it up.
264
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,309
Teddy, be brave.
265
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,479
It's just like pulling off a Band-Aid.
266
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:59,199
A one and a two...
267
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,949
and a...
268
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:04,029
- We got a bleeder.
- Keep the pressure on it. Keep it on.
269
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,369
Everybody get out of the way.
270
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:12,959
- He was masturbating.
- People, please move out of the way.
271
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:16,789
- Please, move. This is serious, people.
- He was masturbating.
272
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,709
- Move out of the way.
- None of this ever happened to Woogie.
273
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,129
Are you okay, Ted?
274
00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:26,509
- Ted.
- He was masturbating.
275
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:31,269
- My God, are you all right?
- Killer.
276
00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:38,269
Okay. Okay, Ted.
277
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,059
- Okay, let's roll.
- All right, folks, it's over. Go home.
278
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,819
Let's go. It's over.
279
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:56,089
So anyway,
school ended a couple of days later...
280
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,169
and her father
got transferred to Florida in July.
281
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:05,759
So I worked all summer
to pay off those debts and...
282
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,469
well, I never saw Mary again.
283
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,519
That was, what?
284
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:17,859
- Thirteen years ago.
- Well, that's very interesting.
285
00:19:18,530 --> 00:19:22,189
Anyway, I know it's not the type of thing
you'd forget, but I guess I just...
286
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,649
I kind of, you know...
287
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:26,779
I must have blocked it out of my head
or something...
288
00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:29,409
because I was driving down the highway
last week...
289
00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:33,919
and I started thinking about Mary,
and all of a sudden...
290
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:37,749
it was like I couldn't breathe.
I mean, I was... I was...
291
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,249
I felt like I was gonna die.
292
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:44,419
So I pulled off the road
and I just sort of stopped in this...
293
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:49,679
I guess it was a rest area.
I was just kind of shaking, and...
294
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:54,219
You know,
rest areas are homosexual hangouts.
295
00:19:56,940 --> 00:19:58,429
Highway rest areas.
296
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:04,439
They're the bathhouses of the '90s
for many, many, many gay men.
297
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:10,949
So, what are you...?
298
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,159
What are you saying?
299
00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:19,329
Time, she's up.
300
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:23,209
We'll delve into that next week.
301
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:27,969
He called you gay?
302
00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:32,219
Well, he implied it.
303
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,519
Well, you know, you are a writer,
and writers are artists.
304
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:38,899
And, you know, most artists are...
305
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:42,809
a little kind of... A little foofy.
A little, you know...
306
00:20:43,650 --> 00:20:45,689
Foofy and Woofy?
307
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:50,359
Let me ask you a question.
When you smoke a cigar...
308
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:54,119
do you ever pretend it has balls?
You know, like go:
309
00:20:54,790 --> 00:20:58,619
Well, I mean, I have.
310
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,659
Haven't you?
311
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,669
I'll tell you what, I'm gonna set you up
with my new assistant at work.
312
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,379
You're gonna love her.
313
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,629
I don't know.
Let's face it, Dom, I'm in a slump.
314
00:21:14,810 --> 00:21:17,549
I mean, lately I've been feeling like...
315
00:21:17,730 --> 00:21:19,219
Like...
316
00:21:20,150 --> 00:21:22,189
Like a looser.
317
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:28,649
A loser?
What the hell are you talking about?
318
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:33,069
Jesus, do you remember five years ago
when your kidneys failed?
319
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,699
Now, if you were a loser...
320
00:21:34,870 --> 00:21:37,789
would they have found a donor
with a tissue match so quickly?
321
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,369
I don't think so. What are the odds
of that, one in a million? Jesus.
322
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,409
Great. So I'm lucky because
my brother died in an explosion?
323
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,879
I didn't say that. I said you're lucky
those kids found his kidneys.
324
00:21:49,510 --> 00:21:52,349
Look, your brother Jimmy
never gave a shit about you anyway.
325
00:21:55,390 --> 00:21:58,889
Look, come on, man, you're a real
glass-is-half-empty kind of guy.
326
00:21:59,060 --> 00:22:02,979
You, sir, have got a fucking
guardian angel. You come here.
327
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:07,939
So I chili-dipped, three putt at the 18th.
I lost it six ways.
328
00:22:08,110 --> 00:22:09,899
- He's a lucky bastard.
- Yeah, well.
329
00:22:10,070 --> 00:22:13,739
Hey, guys, I thought you might like
some of these with your beers.
330
00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:17,069
- Yes, indeed. Ted, help yourself.
- I don't think I'm gonna have one.
331
00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:18,909
- Thanks, though.
- You don't want one?
332
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,949
What do you want?
You want something else?
333
00:22:21,130 --> 00:22:23,409
- Come on. You want something to eat?
- Not hungry.
334
00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:27,549
You sure? You want a cookie? Something
like that? Honey, we got cookies?
335
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,919
No, we don't, but, you know,
I could bake some.
336
00:22:30,090 --> 00:22:32,549
- No, no, no. Don't bake any.
- No, that's a good idea.
337
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,179
- Bake some. Bake some Toll Houses.
- Oh, great. Yeah, yeah.
338
00:22:36,350 --> 00:22:39,809
- Chocolate chip or butterscotch?
- Let's go with the chocolate chip.
339
00:22:39,980 --> 00:22:42,969
- Really, you don't... It's...
- No, it's fine. Don't worry about it.
340
00:22:43,150 --> 00:22:45,519
- Really. She loves this kind of thing.
- Really?
341
00:22:45,690 --> 00:22:47,059
- Yeah.
- See, that's great.
342
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,269
That's what I want.
343
00:22:50,780 --> 00:22:54,869
A family and somebody to, you know...
344
00:22:57,500 --> 00:23:00,329
It must be wonderful having all this.
345
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:03,709
Each day is better than the next.
346
00:23:04,710 --> 00:23:08,249
How about you? The big I?
347
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:10,959
- Ever been?
- What?
348
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,629
In love.
349
00:23:13,260 --> 00:23:15,799
Well, once.
350
00:23:16,890 --> 00:23:17,929
Mary.
351
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,889
Oh, God. Not Mary again.
352
00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:26,809
Look, I know it was brief,
but it was definitely love, Dom.
353
00:23:26,980 --> 00:23:29,819
I mean,
crushes don't last for 13 years, right?
354
00:23:30,530 --> 00:23:31,939
Whatever happened to Mary?
355
00:23:32,110 --> 00:23:34,529
Told you, she moved with her family
to Miami.
356
00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:36,029
So why don't you look her up?
357
00:23:36,580 --> 00:23:40,119
I did once. I called. She wasn't listed.
358
00:23:40,290 --> 00:23:43,079
So that's it? You get one bump in the road
and give up?
359
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:45,739
Well, it's probably for the best.
After 13 years...
360
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,909
she's probably gonna think
I'm a stalker.
361
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,079
You know what you should do?
Hire a private investigator.
362
00:23:51,260 --> 00:23:53,919
To find her, follow her around.
She won't know anything.
363
00:23:54,090 --> 00:23:56,709
No way. That's way too creepy.
364
00:23:56,890 --> 00:24:01,299
Besides, she's probably married with
a couple of kids by now. Girls like Mary...
365
00:24:01,980 --> 00:24:03,759
they don't stay single.
366
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:09,729
Hey, I've got an idea. There's this guy
down in my office. His name's Healy.
367
00:24:09,900 --> 00:24:12,489
He's a claims investigator.
He's a hell of a bloodhound.
368
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:15,819
He shoots down to Miami
every couple of weeks. He can help you out.
369
00:24:15,990 --> 00:24:18,819
This guy runs a little hot,
but he gets the job done.
370
00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:23,989
So...
371
00:24:24,670 --> 00:24:28,829
Dom tells me you're looking for
some lady friend you knew back at school.
372
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,919
Yeah. Yeah.
373
00:24:31,090 --> 00:24:34,579
That's cute. I don't buy it, but it's cute.
374
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:36,879
You're not buying what?
375
00:24:37,050 --> 00:24:41,639
Ted, I'm the kind of guy
who likes to shoot from the hip.
376
00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:46,269
I want you to level with me.
377
00:24:50,650 --> 00:24:54,769
Come on, let's talk.
Did you knock this skirt up?
378
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,229
No.
379
00:24:56,700 --> 00:25:01,239
- She's blackmailing you, right?
- Blackmailing me? No.
380
00:25:01,910 --> 00:25:05,249
- You want her dead, don't you?
- Dead?
381
00:25:05,420 --> 00:25:07,949
Are you...? You're not serious, are you?
382
00:25:08,130 --> 00:25:11,499
You expect me to believe
this is a straight stalker case? Come on.
383
00:25:11,670 --> 00:25:14,589
Hey, hey, hey. I'm not a stalker.
I'm not a stalker, all right?
384
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,999
- She's a friend of mine.
- Oh, sure she is.
385
00:25:17,180 --> 00:25:19,589
That explains why
she's got an unlisted number...
386
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,129
and you haven't heard squat from her
in 13 years.
387
00:25:22,310 --> 00:25:23,889
Yeah, real chum.
388
00:25:24,060 --> 00:25:27,099
- What...?
- You're good, Ted. Real piece of work.
389
00:25:27,270 --> 00:25:30,609
What are you...? You know what?
Forget it. Just forget the whole thing.
390
00:25:31,610 --> 00:25:32,889
Okay, I'll do it.
391
00:25:33,610 --> 00:25:37,599
But if this chick turns up with a toe tag,
I'm rolling over on you, big guy.
392
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,689
All right.
393
00:25:58,220 --> 00:26:01,009
Healy, you dog.
394
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,499
Sully. Look at you.
395
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,639
You hot shit. You look fucking pisser.
396
00:26:06,810 --> 00:26:09,799
Hey. Hey, good fella.
397
00:26:09,980 --> 00:26:11,969
- Does he bite?
- A little bit.
398
00:26:12,150 --> 00:26:13,509
Get in.
399
00:26:16,650 --> 00:26:20,019
- Here's the info you asked for.
- Thanks.
400
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,529
You know, you should thank me.
That girl was not easy to find.
401
00:26:23,700 --> 00:26:26,739
What, did she scam you
out of some insurance dough?
402
00:26:26,910 --> 00:26:31,499
No. Some guy gave me a couple bucks
to track down his high school girlfriend.
403
00:26:31,670 --> 00:26:33,449
Stalker, huh?
404
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,249
Yep. Big time.
405
00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:41,929
You would not believe
all the pussy down here.
406
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:44,679
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
407
00:26:44,850 --> 00:26:47,009
- Yeah? You getting any?
- Nothing.
408
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,479
There you go.
409
00:26:53,190 --> 00:26:55,809
- Hey, shoes off.
- What the...?
410
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,019
Are you kidding me?
411
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,189
You-— You are so full of...
Look at this place.
412
00:27:03,370 --> 00:27:05,359
- Yeah, I'm doing okay.
- Doing okay?
413
00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:07,869
I gotta get ready for work.
414
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:11,409
This pad, those killer wheels.
415
00:27:11,580 --> 00:27:14,079
Man, it looks like
you really cleaned up your act.
416
00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:17,669
Yeah, what can I tell you?
It's a healthier lifestyle down here.
417
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,419
It's easier to succeed, you know,
when your head is clear.
418
00:27:21,590 --> 00:27:25,259
- Yeah.
- Those guys back in Boston?
419
00:27:25,890 --> 00:27:28,469
Oh, fucking animals.
420
00:27:30,390 --> 00:27:34,929
Hey, what do you say we go out and grab
a couple of pops before you go to work?
421
00:27:35,770 --> 00:27:39,139
None for me, buddy.
I don't drink anymore.
422
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,529
Yeah, you don't drink any less, right?
423
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,729
What the...?
424
00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:51,989
That's Bill.
Don't worry, I fed him last week.
425
00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:55,959
- Does he bite?
- Nips.
426
00:28:03,510 --> 00:28:06,419
Nineteen months I've been straight.
427
00:28:07,390 --> 00:28:10,049
Is that right? Good for you, Sully.
428
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,769
Yeah, it was hard at first,
but I'm there. I'm there.
429
00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:17,639
Hey, I'm proud of you.
How about a frosty to celebrate?
430
00:28:18,610 --> 00:28:20,599
Didn't you hear what I just said?
431
00:28:22,030 --> 00:28:25,019
Sully, you were never an alky.
You were a coke head.
432
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:29,109
Yeah, but when you quit the nose candy,
you gotta quit the booze too.
433
00:28:29,290 --> 00:28:33,699
Who told you that? Sully, it's one...
It's a Lite beer.
434
00:28:34,670 --> 00:28:37,159
Oh, the big, bad beer's gonna get you.
435
00:28:39,630 --> 00:28:42,119
- It's you I'm worried about.
- You're worried about me?
436
00:28:42,300 --> 00:28:45,589
Yeah. You gotta bend a little bit,
or believe me, you're gonna break.
437
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,129
- You think?
- Oh, yeah.
438
00:28:48,970 --> 00:28:52,889
You gotta learn to have a pop once in a
while or you're gonna fall off the waggon.
439
00:28:53,060 --> 00:28:55,219
You're being a fanatic.
440
00:28:56,730 --> 00:28:59,139
Well, jeez...
441
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,809
- I don't wanna fall off the waggon.
- No.
442
00:29:04,070 --> 00:29:07,779
- I mean, not after 19 months.
- Exactly.
443
00:29:21,670 --> 00:29:25,759
Jesus, you know what? This shit
doesn't even taste good to me anymore.
444
00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:28,589
Fuck you then, you big pussy.
I'll drink it.
445
00:29:55,410 --> 00:29:57,949
Looks like we found your Mary, Ted.
446
00:29:58,210 --> 00:30:00,789
Husband: Negative.
447
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:04,919
Children and a Labrador: Negative.
448
00:30:05,090 --> 00:30:09,299
Tight little package: Affirmative.
449
00:30:17,060 --> 00:30:18,299
Good morning, Magda.
450
00:30:19,060 --> 00:30:21,139
- Hi, doll. You're in my light.
- Sorry.
451
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:27,069
- So you've been out here all night again?
- Bet your ass I have.
452
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,769
This is an important job,
neighbourhood watch is.
453
00:30:30,410 --> 00:30:32,689
Neighbourhood watch.
Is that what we're calling it?
454
00:30:32,870 --> 00:30:36,409
Listening to perfect strangers'
telephone conversations.
455
00:30:37,750 --> 00:30:40,739
This only picks up cellular phones
in a half-a-mile radius.
456
00:30:41,790 --> 00:30:42,829
Meaning?
457
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,749
These are the people you live amongst.
You got a right to know if they're creeps.
458
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,089
For instance, do you know the guy
in the green house down the street?
459
00:30:50,260 --> 00:30:51,299
Yeah.
460
00:30:51,470 --> 00:30:53,089
Cheating on his wife.
461
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,679
And I am not surprised.
I am not surprised at all...
462
00:30:57,850 --> 00:31:00,889
because Puffy used to bark his balls off
whenever he saw him.
463
00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:04,269
And you know that Puffy,
he only barks at the bad people.
464
00:31:05,150 --> 00:31:06,729
Okay.
465
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,899
Well, I'm gonna go hit some golf balls
and hook up with Warren...
466
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,569
so try to get some sleep.
467
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:16,109
- Okay. Bye, doll.
- May I make a suggestion?
468
00:31:16,290 --> 00:31:19,779
Try not drinking so early in the morning
because you smell like a gin mill.
469
00:31:21,540 --> 00:31:23,949
I smell like a gin mill?
470
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,799
Does Mommy?
Does Mommy smell like a gin mill?
471
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,549
Hello.
472
00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:47,639
Hey, Herb. How's it going?
Apple for you today.
473
00:31:47,820 --> 00:31:49,149
Thanks, Mary.
474
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,529
- Have a good day. See you later.
- Looking good, honey.
475
00:32:23,270 --> 00:32:25,729
- Hi, Mary.
- Hey, Mrs. Bailey. How you doing?
476
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,229
Looks like we got a jock on our hands.
477
00:32:35,410 --> 00:32:38,149
- Here, you want the sports page?
- Thank you.
478
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,739
- Take care now.
- Bye, guys. See you.
479
00:33:04,390 --> 00:33:06,429
Yeah. Remember, I have two, Mary.
480
00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:10,019
Yeah. You can have two halves,
just like everybody else.
481
00:33:10,190 --> 00:33:12,059
Yeah, that's good.
482
00:33:13,610 --> 00:33:15,899
- Will you marry me, Mary?
- I would love to, Jimmy.
483
00:33:16,070 --> 00:33:19,909
But I'm already engaged to Freddie.
484
00:33:20,740 --> 00:33:23,739
- Who's Freddie? Me?
- Yes, you.
485
00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:26,029
Will you marry me?
486
00:33:27,210 --> 00:33:30,369
What about Dolores?
You gonna marry us both?
487
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:32,159
I'm gonna kiss you.
488
00:33:32,460 --> 00:33:35,459
I think you're making out
pretty well there. Okay.
489
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,589
- Thanks, Mary.
- You're welcome, Zack.
490
00:33:40,140 --> 00:33:42,179
- No onions.
- No onions.
491
00:33:42,350 --> 00:33:44,389
No onions. How are you doing?
492
00:33:46,730 --> 00:33:48,219
Listen to this one.
493
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:52,439
Seeking sensitive Wasp doctor
to share candlelit dinners...
494
00:33:52,610 --> 00:33:55,269
long walks in Coconut Grove,
marriage.
495
00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:58,779
Is she looking for a corpse?
You have to be specific when you write.
496
00:33:58,950 --> 00:34:03,189
You have to say
Seeking deaf-mute with, you know...
497
00:34:03,370 --> 00:34:05,279
3-pound cock and trust fund.
498
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:11,539
I want a guy who can play 36 holes
and still have enough energy...
499
00:34:11,710 --> 00:34:14,329
to take me and Warren to a ball game
and eat hot dogs.
500
00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:18,299
I'm talking sausage hot dogs, beer.
Not Lite beer, but beer.
501
00:34:18,470 --> 00:34:19,749
That's my ad. Print it up.
502
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,719
A fatty who likes beer and golf.
503
00:34:24,890 --> 00:34:27,799
Jeez, Mary,
where are you gonna find a gem like that?
504
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,059
Okay, well, here's the catch.
505
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,269
He has to be self-employed.
506
00:34:34,650 --> 00:34:35,689
Like a drug dealer?
507
00:34:37,070 --> 00:34:42,359
No, I was thinking along the lines, maybe,
of somebody like an architect or something.
508
00:34:42,530 --> 00:34:45,819
But I want somebody
with freedom in their job, you know?
509
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:50,209
Somebody who can do it anywhere
and just leave at a drop of a hat.
510
00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:54,369
And where would you and your
beer-bellied architect be going to?
511
00:34:55,050 --> 00:34:56,499
- The Super Bowl?
- Yeah.
512
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:57,919
That's good.
513
00:34:58,090 --> 00:35:00,249
I don't know.
Maybe a few months in Nepal.
514
00:35:00,430 --> 00:35:01,669
Nepal.
515
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:04,929
And you'd probably dump the poor guy
halfway to Katmandu.
516
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:06,929
What's that supposed to mean?
517
00:35:07,100 --> 00:35:10,009
- It means you change your mind too much.
- No, I don't.
518
00:35:10,190 --> 00:35:11,349
Come off it, Mary.
519
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,059
Remember that gorgeous,
corn-fed white boy, honey...
520
00:35:14,230 --> 00:35:16,769
that you just dumped
like yesterday's garbage?
521
00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:18,429
What was his name? Pack man.
522
00:35:20,070 --> 00:35:23,029
Okay, we had fun for a while.
523
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,489
Mary, cut the crap.
What really happened with Brett?
524
00:35:26,660 --> 00:35:28,869
Yeah, Brett seemed so sweet.
525
00:35:30,370 --> 00:35:33,539
You know what Tucker said
Brett told him?
526
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,209
He said that if Warren wasn't in my life...
527
00:35:36,380 --> 00:35:39,039
that he would have popped the question
a long time ago.
528
00:35:40,010 --> 00:35:42,049
- Oh, man.
- What a shock.
529
00:35:42,590 --> 00:35:45,509
To hell with Brett, you know?
530
00:35:46,850 --> 00:35:48,929
I've got a vibrator.
531
00:35:56,190 --> 00:35:59,099
- Hello?
- Hello?
532
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:02,269
- Sully?
- Hello?
533
00:36:03,070 --> 00:36:06,569
- Sully, is that you?
- May I ask who's calling, please?
534
00:36:06,740 --> 00:36:10,359
Sully, it's me, Healy.
What's going on over there?
535
00:36:10,540 --> 00:36:14,619
Fucking Patrick Healy.
You think your shit don't stink.
536
00:36:14,790 --> 00:36:16,449
Well, I got news for you.
537
00:36:16,630 --> 00:36:19,749
You're god-damn right it don't.
538
00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:23,089
Hey, I wanna thank you for the other day.
539
00:36:23,260 --> 00:36:26,629
You really helped me. You were right.
540
00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:28,719
Hold, please.
541
00:36:31,730 --> 00:36:33,429
I haven't even wanted a beer.
542
00:36:34,270 --> 00:36:36,139
- How are you, buddy?
- I'm fine.
543
00:36:36,310 --> 00:36:40,929
I just wanted to let you know I'll have
your car back to you in a couple hours.
544
00:36:41,110 --> 00:36:44,269
- I'm still staking out this broads apartment.
- Hey.
545
00:36:44,450 --> 00:36:49,279
Well, you were right.
I was uptight. I was...
546
00:36:49,830 --> 00:36:51,569
tight.
547
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:56,119
You know who I miss?
Those guys in Boston.
548
00:37:00,130 --> 00:37:01,999
Hold on a sec.
549
00:37:17,310 --> 00:37:20,179
Those are the plays of the month.
Thank you for joining us.
550
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:25,319
Look forward to seeing you next Sunday
on The Sports Machine. Have a good week.
551
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,329
Oh, yeah.
552
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:41,709
Here comes the money shot.
553
00:37:51,350 --> 00:37:53,679
First chink in the armour, Ted.
554
00:37:58,810 --> 00:38:00,349
Shit.
555
00:38:02,820 --> 00:38:04,899
Oh, yeah.
556
00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:04,939
Oh, yeah.
557
00:38:04,940 --> 00:38:05,940
Oh, yeah.
558
00:38:12,990 --> 00:38:15,529
Pop, you wanna get me a whiskey sour
when you get a sec?
559
00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:16,739
Whiskey sour coming up.
560
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:20,499
- I got some excellent news for you.
- Oh, yeah? Excellent?
561
00:38:20,670 --> 00:38:24,749
- I think your life's about to change.
- Really? So you found her?
562
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:31,389
Oh, yeah. And you were right, man.
She really is something else. My God.
563
00:38:31,550 --> 00:38:36,049
Really? So she hasn't changed at all, huh?
564
00:38:36,810 --> 00:38:41,019
Well, that I couldn't say.
Let me ask you something.
565
00:38:42,190 --> 00:38:44,929
Was Mary a little big-boned
back in high school?
566
00:38:45,110 --> 00:38:48,689
Big-boned? No, no, not at all. No.
567
00:38:49,030 --> 00:38:51,649
I guess she packed on a few pounds
over the years.
568
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,489
Oh, yeah? So she's a little...?
She's a little chubby?
569
00:38:54,660 --> 00:38:57,399
I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half.
Not bad.
570
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,909
My. A deuce and a half, huh?
571
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,499
Well, you know,
you shit out a bunch of kids...
572
00:39:03,670 --> 00:39:06,129
and you're bound to put on
a few pounds.
573
00:39:06,460 --> 00:39:08,959
So she's...? She's married?
574
00:39:09,130 --> 00:39:11,719
No, no, she's never been.
That's the good news.
575
00:39:12,510 --> 00:39:13,839
Yeah.
576
00:39:14,010 --> 00:39:17,349
Four kids, three different guys,
but no rock.
577
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,259
Hyperactive little fuckers too.
578
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,429
Tough to keep up with in a wheelchair,
I bet.
579
00:39:22,940 --> 00:39:25,979
She's in a wheelchair?
Mary's in a wheelchair?
580
00:39:26,610 --> 00:39:28,519
I thought that was part of your kick.
581
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:31,279
- Excuse me, I ordered a whiskey sour.
- Yeah, whatever.
582
00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:34,279
Are you sure it's the same Mary?
You got the right person?
583
00:39:34,450 --> 00:39:37,439
Oh, yeah. It's Mary, all right.
The brother, Warren?
584
00:39:38,450 --> 00:39:40,119
Hey, don't look so shocked, Ted.
585
00:39:40,290 --> 00:39:45,329
It's been a long time. I bet you've changed
a lot over the last 13 years, haven't you?
586
00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:49,959
- What, do you think your shit don't stink?
- No, I don't think... I mean, yes, it doe...
587
00:39:50,130 --> 00:39:52,629
- I don't...
- Okay, I got all the information you need.
588
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,129
I got it off her bookie. Nice guy.
589
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:59,469
You really should look her up, Ted.
I mean, she's a real spark plug, this one.
590
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:03,259
Well, thank you.
Thanks, Healy. Good work.
591
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:07,849
Ted, don't you want the name
of the housing project?
592
00:40:09,900 --> 00:40:11,389
What?
593
00:40:11,570 --> 00:40:12,609
For 1995.
594
00:40:12,780 --> 00:40:15,239
See the Sarone boys
on Route 1 in South Brattleboro...
595
00:40:15,410 --> 00:40:19,029
and right here on Jefferson Boulevard
in Warwick, you'll be...
596
00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:36,089
Well, it hurts from the bottom.
597
00:40:36,260 --> 00:40:39,629
And it hurts down to your soul.
598
00:40:39,810 --> 00:40:43,769
That's because true love is not nice.
599
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,929
And it brings up hurt.
600
00:40:49,110 --> 00:40:52,599
From when you were 5 years old.
601
00:40:52,780 --> 00:40:56,689
That's because true love is not nice.
602
00:40:56,870 --> 00:40:58,479
No.
603
00:40:59,490 --> 00:41:03,329
Oh, pain, pain, pain.
604
00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:06,539
Ain't that just love's name?
605
00:41:06,710 --> 00:41:12,079
Love can bring up hurt
From way down low.
606
00:41:13,010 --> 00:41:16,219
It now be emphasised.
607
00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:20,249
True love is just not civilised.
608
00:41:20,430 --> 00:41:22,799
True love is not nice.
609
00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:24,929
No, no.
610
00:41:31,900 --> 00:41:33,389
Where are you going?
611
00:41:34,780 --> 00:41:38,899
- Oh, I resigned.
- Good luck in Miami, Pat.
612
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,939
Miami? What are you doing in Miami?
613
00:41:43,750 --> 00:41:46,199
I took a job offer.
614
00:41:46,370 --> 00:41:47,909
With who?
615
00:41:48,330 --> 00:41:51,749
With Rice-a-Roni.
616
00:41:52,050 --> 00:41:55,079
Isn't that the San Francisco treat?
617
00:41:55,260 --> 00:41:56,999
It was.
618
00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:00,179
- They're changing their image.
- Yeah, well, listen.
619
00:42:00,350 --> 00:42:02,759
- I've been thinking about what you said.
- Good, good.
620
00:42:02,930 --> 00:42:06,269
And I still wanna look her up.
621
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:10,149
Who? Roller pig? Are you nuts?
622
00:42:10,310 --> 00:42:13,769
I thought you said
she was a real spark plug.
623
00:42:13,940 --> 00:42:17,729
No, no, I said butt plug. She's heinous.
624
00:42:20,780 --> 00:42:23,779
You know what?
All the same, I think I wanna call her.
625
00:42:23,950 --> 00:42:26,039
I mean, I know it sounds crazy...
626
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:28,449
but, I don't know,
maybe I can help her out.
627
00:42:28,620 --> 00:42:32,409
I feel bad, you know. The poor thing,
she's in a wheelchair for God's sakes.
628
00:42:32,590 --> 00:42:37,249
- It's a bunion. It'll heal.
- Bunion? You... I thought...
629
00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:40,039
You know what? That's not even it.
The point is, I just...
630
00:42:40,220 --> 00:42:45,839
I know this doesn't make sense to you,
but I can't just turn it off that fast.
631
00:42:48,310 --> 00:42:51,519
I guess I still have feelings for her.
632
00:42:52,650 --> 00:42:55,479
This girl really means something
to you, huh?
633
00:42:59,780 --> 00:43:01,149
All right.
634
00:43:01,780 --> 00:43:03,369
Tell you what.
635
00:43:04,660 --> 00:43:07,399
I'll get you her number
as soon as she gets back from Japan.
636
00:43:07,580 --> 00:43:09,739
Thank you, I appreciate...
637
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,999
Japan? What's happening in Japan?
Why is she going to Japan?
638
00:43:15,050 --> 00:43:17,499
You've heard of mail-order brides,
haven't you?
639
00:43:17,670 --> 00:43:20,959
- Well, they go that way too.
- Mary's a...?
640
00:43:21,300 --> 00:43:23,459
What are they, desperate? She's a whale.
641
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:27,969
Don't forget, it's a sumo culture.
They pay by the pound there.
642
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,179
Sort of like tuna.
643
00:43:32,690 --> 00:43:34,679
What happened to...?
You said she was single.
644
00:43:34,860 --> 00:43:38,899
- Remember, no rock?
- You had your window, Ted. You blew it.
645
00:43:41,780 --> 00:43:43,819
I had my window?
646
00:43:45,830 --> 00:43:49,869
I'm sorry, buddy. It's just, you know,
you're taking this all wrong.
647
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:53,579
Okay? I mean, come on, you're liberated.
I feel liberated.
648
00:43:53,750 --> 00:43:57,339
I mean, you're in therapy thinking
you blew it with the greatest girl ever...
649
00:43:57,510 --> 00:44:00,539
and it turns out that getting your dick
stuck in your zipper...
650
00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:02,919
was the best thing
that ever happened to you.
651
00:44:03,090 --> 00:44:06,339
- Say it a little louder?
- I'm sorry, but it was.
652
00:44:07,810 --> 00:44:09,889
I never told you that.
653
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:13,639
Christ, Ted, I was only four towns away.
654
00:44:13,900 --> 00:44:16,509
- Excuse me.
- Oh, sure, sweetheart.
655
00:44:16,690 --> 00:44:17,809
Oh, man, I gotta go.
656
00:44:17,980 --> 00:44:21,729
I gotta get up at 6 a.m. and help
my boss's brother move into his apartment.
657
00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:25,989
- Your boss's brother? Who's that?
- I don't even know. I never met him.
658
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,399
Ted, you gotta finish that novel
so you can quit that stupid magazine.
659
00:44:29,580 --> 00:44:30,739
Yeah.
660
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,789
Nice swing.
661
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:48,179
Christ, hit a house.
662
00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:51,089
I haven't swung the wrenches in a while.
663
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,969
Would you mind giving me
some pointers here?
664
00:45:00,230 --> 00:45:03,189
Yeah, sure.
Don't talk in someone's back swing.
665
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,899
Oh, thanks.
666
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:10,279
- I'm gonna go get a soda. You want one?
- No, thanks.
667
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:18,159
Look, I'm sorry to bother you again,
but you got change of a dollar?
668
00:45:19,170 --> 00:45:20,209
No.
669
00:45:21,090 --> 00:45:23,579
All I got are these damn Nepalese coins.
670
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,299
You've been to Nepal?
671
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,139
Not in months.
672
00:45:34,310 --> 00:45:36,889
I don't even know why
I bought the damn place.
673
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:47,989
- Nice meeting you again.
- You too, again.
674
00:45:50,490 --> 00:45:51,699
So, what's your name?
675
00:45:52,830 --> 00:45:54,659
Pat Healy.
676
00:45:57,540 --> 00:45:58,949
Wanna know mine?
677
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,989
I already know it, Mary.
678
00:46:03,590 --> 00:46:04,669
How did you know that?
679
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:08,329
Because it's right there on your golf bag.
680
00:46:15,430 --> 00:46:16,849
Damn.
681
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,219
Wow, are those blueprints?
682
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:25,359
Oh, these? They're just some projects
I'm working on.
683
00:46:25,530 --> 00:46:28,899
Museum, hospital for kids.
684
00:46:29,070 --> 00:46:30,729
Really? Are you an architect?
685
00:46:31,370 --> 00:46:34,609
Just till I get my PGA tour card.
686
00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:40,789
No, I mean, are they putting up
some sort of a new museum in town, or...?
687
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:44,449
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm sort of burnt-out on talking about it.
688
00:46:44,630 --> 00:46:46,709
Oh, I'm sorry.
689
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,289
It's just a job, really.
Something to keep me moving.
690
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:53,639
- My real passion is my hobby.
- Really? What's that?
691
00:46:54,140 --> 00:46:55,879
I work with retards.
692
00:46:57,980 --> 00:47:00,969
Isn't that a little politically incorrect?
693
00:47:01,150 --> 00:47:03,309
Well, the hell with that.
694
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,899
No one's gonna tell me
who I can and can't work with, right?
695
00:47:07,070 --> 00:47:10,689
- No, I mean...
- We got this one kid, Mongo.
696
00:47:10,870 --> 00:47:14,069
He's got a forehead like a drive-in
movie theatre. He's a good shit...
697
00:47:14,240 --> 00:47:16,109
so we don't bust his chops too much.
698
00:47:16,290 --> 00:47:20,079
- So one day, Mongo gets out of his cage...
- What, they keep him in a cage?
699
00:47:20,540 --> 00:47:23,579
- Well, it's just an enclosure.
- No, but they keep him confined?
700
00:47:23,750 --> 00:47:25,789
- Right, yeah.
- That's bullshit.
701
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:27,249
Well, that's what I said.
702
00:47:27,420 --> 00:47:30,459
- So I went out and I got him a leash.
- A leash?
703
00:47:30,630 --> 00:47:34,919
Yeah, one you can hook on to the clothesline
and he can run back and forth...
704
00:47:35,100 --> 00:47:40,639
and there's plenty of room
for him to dig and play.
705
00:47:40,810 --> 00:47:44,219
That kid has really...
He's really blossomed, you know?
706
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,859
Now I can take him to movies...
707
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:49,429
baseball games.
708
00:47:49,610 --> 00:47:51,599
You know, fun stuff.
709
00:47:52,490 --> 00:47:55,029
- Yeah.
- Sounds cool.
710
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:58,539
Oh, yeah, it's cool for them,
but for me, it's much more than that.
711
00:47:58,700 --> 00:48:01,819
For me, it's heaven, you know?
712
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:06,499
Those goofy bastards are just about
the best thing I've got going in this...
713
00:48:07,510 --> 00:48:09,089
crazy world.
714
00:48:12,550 --> 00:48:15,789
Hey, dip-shit,
be careful with that thing, will you?
715
00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:18,719
- What?
- You heard me.
716
00:48:18,890 --> 00:48:21,879
You already put a fucking nick
in my piano.
717
00:48:22,060 --> 00:48:25,139
Well, I'll try to be a little more careful.
718
00:48:25,730 --> 00:48:28,349
What, are you fading?
You wimping out on me?
719
00:48:28,530 --> 00:48:31,859
It's just that this is a little bit heavy,
that's all.
720
00:48:32,030 --> 00:48:35,269
Heavy? What I wouldn't give
to know what heavy feels like...
721
00:48:35,450 --> 00:48:37,029
you insensitive prick.
722
00:48:37,660 --> 00:48:41,279
- No, I didn't mean that.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm going down the street...
723
00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:43,699
- to get coffee.
- Wait. I'll get you the coffee.
724
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:46,579
Could you just...? Hey, I'm sorry.
725
00:49:00,220 --> 00:49:02,009
Hey, you!
726
00:49:02,180 --> 00:49:05,049
You with the furniture. Hey.
727
00:49:05,730 --> 00:49:08,719
- I'm Steve Tyler with The Troubleshooters.
- Oh, yeah. Hey.
728
00:49:08,900 --> 00:49:11,479
Do you know your truck
is parked in a handicapped zone?
729
00:49:11,650 --> 00:49:14,859
- Oh, it's okay. The guy who...
- You don't look very handicapped to me.
730
00:49:15,030 --> 00:49:18,859
- Why would you do something like that?
- I'm not handicapped, but the guy who has...
731
00:49:19,030 --> 00:49:22,369
Are you getting this?
Make sure you get a close-up on his face.
732
00:49:22,540 --> 00:49:25,369
There's a handicapped guy,
he's got an electric wheelchair.
733
00:49:25,540 --> 00:49:29,329
There's a disabled schmuck who's
in a wheelchair. He's coming back.
734
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:37,379
Tender facial tissue left of L7.
735
00:49:39,220 --> 00:49:40,959
Hey, Bob?
736
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,549
Remember Mary?
737
00:49:44,060 --> 00:49:46,049
Oh, yeah.
738
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,559
I remember Mary.
739
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:53,099
Hey, I saw her a couple months ago
at a convention in Las Vegas.
740
00:49:53,860 --> 00:49:55,599
How could you see her at a convention?
741
00:49:55,780 --> 00:49:58,519
Well, I'm a chiropractor,
she's an orthopaedic surgeon.
742
00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:00,239
She's a what?
743
00:50:00,410 --> 00:50:05,779
She's an orthopaedic surgeon,
and... she's still a fox.
744
00:50:07,670 --> 00:50:10,119
What if the families
don't want a class action?
745
00:50:10,790 --> 00:50:14,329
God, that's what I've been trying to
explain to you people for the last hour.
746
00:50:14,510 --> 00:50:16,969
Okay, fine, we'll go over it again. I...
747
00:50:17,130 --> 00:50:18,130
Mary's a fox.
748
00:50:18,300 --> 00:50:19,669
- What?
- What?
749
00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:21,929
Mary's a fox? What are you...?
750
00:50:22,100 --> 00:50:26,389
Folks, here, let's... We'll break up.
We'll spit ball this tomorrow, okay?
751
00:50:27,810 --> 00:50:30,889
- What the hell are you talking about?
- Mary? My Mary?
752
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:34,019
She's not in Japan.
She has no rug rats running around.
753
00:50:34,190 --> 00:50:37,779
My friend says she's a fox.
A surgeon fox.
754
00:50:37,950 --> 00:50:40,189
I don't get it. I don't know what you're...
Healy...
755
00:50:40,370 --> 00:50:42,979
Think about it.
He never even looked her up down there.
756
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:47,249
He was there closing his deal
with the Rice-a-Roni people the whole time.
757
00:50:50,670 --> 00:50:52,199
What's up with your head?
758
00:50:52,380 --> 00:50:56,169
Oh, I get hives
tap-dancing for these idiots.
759
00:50:56,340 --> 00:50:58,379
I get a little stressed out.
760
00:50:58,550 --> 00:51:02,669
Jeez, you know, I feel like a royal shit
because I set you up with this guy.
761
00:51:05,020 --> 00:51:07,379
You know what you gotta do.
You gotta call her.
762
00:51:08,020 --> 00:51:11,679
Fuck calling her. I'm going down there.
763
00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:15,439
Yeah. Yeah, okay. ASAP.
764
00:51:16,190 --> 00:51:17,679
So who's the lucky guy?
765
00:51:18,990 --> 00:51:22,479
His name's Pat.
Met him at the driving range.
766
00:51:23,240 --> 00:51:24,279
Is he good-looking?
767
00:51:25,910 --> 00:51:27,779
He's no Steve Young.
768
00:51:28,660 --> 00:51:29,949
So, what is he like?
769
00:51:31,250 --> 00:51:32,869
I don't know.
770
00:51:33,380 --> 00:51:35,539
Kind of a mook. A schlep.
771
00:51:35,710 --> 00:51:37,879
Why the hell are you going out
with a schlep?
772
00:51:38,050 --> 00:51:43,419
It's not like that, Magda. You know,
it's like that movie Harold and Maude.
773
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:45,799
I don't watch the new ones.
774
00:51:45,970 --> 00:51:49,639
Well, you should because it's probably
the greatest love story of our time.
775
00:51:49,810 --> 00:51:54,649
The point is,
is that love isn't about money...
776
00:51:54,820 --> 00:51:57,479
or social standings or age.
777
00:51:57,650 --> 00:52:01,739
It's about two people connecting,
having something in common.
778
00:52:01,910 --> 00:52:04,109
You know, kindred spirits.
779
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,739
Fuck kindred spirits.
My little Puffy here is gonna tell you...
780
00:52:07,910 --> 00:52:11,399
everything you need to know
about that guy in about two seconds flat.
781
00:52:11,580 --> 00:52:14,699
If Puffy starts yapping, he's a loser.
782
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:19,419
If he likes him, honey,
then you've got yourself a keeper.
783
00:52:44,910 --> 00:52:50,369
Yeah. Pufferball likes it
when I rub his belly.
784
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,329
That is amazing.
785
00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:58,209
He doesn't like anybody.
He never usually likes guys.
786
00:52:58,380 --> 00:53:01,959
- He doesn't like bad guys.
- Ls that right?
787
00:53:02,130 --> 00:53:04,669
He can tell that you're an animal nut.
788
00:53:04,970 --> 00:53:08,299
- You are, aren't you?
- You got me pegged.
789
00:53:08,470 --> 00:53:12,929
You know, in Nepal,
the villagers there called me kin ton Ti...
790
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:18,809
which means
noble man who is loved by many animal...
791
00:53:18,980 --> 00:53:21,899
who, in kind, he loveth too.
792
00:53:23,820 --> 00:53:26,029
Would you like a cup of tea
or something?
793
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,819
I'd love a brewski if you got one.
794
00:53:28,990 --> 00:53:30,479
We can do that.
795
00:53:30,660 --> 00:53:34,149
Hey, Magda,
why don't you help me in the kitchen?
796
00:53:34,870 --> 00:53:37,459
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Certainly, of course.
797
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,879
Puffer doesn't like bad guys, does he?
798
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,259
Puffer?
799
00:53:52,850 --> 00:53:54,389
Puffer?
800
00:53:55,850 --> 00:53:57,509
Puffer, come on, boy.
801
00:53:57,690 --> 00:54:00,059
Would you like a little clam dip, doll?
802
00:54:00,230 --> 00:54:03,099
No, thank you.
I'd love a Bundt cake if you have one.
803
00:54:04,860 --> 00:54:06,149
- Bundt cake?
- Bundt cake?
804
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,399
One, two, three, four, five.
805
00:54:10,780 --> 00:54:13,699
One, two, three, four, five.
806
00:54:14,370 --> 00:54:15,409
One, two, three...
807
00:54:15,580 --> 00:54:20,449
Hey, Pat, do you want a Budweiser
or a Heinie?
808
00:54:20,630 --> 00:54:22,039
Yeah, whatever.
809
00:54:22,210 --> 00:54:24,579
Come on, Puffer.
Stay away from the light.
810
00:54:27,010 --> 00:54:28,719
Okay, I'll just get you a regular.
811
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,279
All set?
812
00:55:08,300 --> 00:55:09,629
Good pooch.
813
00:55:10,180 --> 00:55:13,839
All we had were some Oreos.
How does that sound, honey?
814
00:55:15,100 --> 00:55:18,089
Oh, my God.
815
00:55:18,770 --> 00:55:22,479
He's got him wrapped up like a baby.
816
00:55:22,980 --> 00:55:25,939
He was... He was a little chilly.
817
00:55:29,450 --> 00:55:30,609
Well, here we are.
818
00:55:30,780 --> 00:55:31,819
- The museum?
- Yeah.
819
00:55:31,990 --> 00:55:35,109
- I thought we were going to dinner.
- We will, but I have a surprise.
820
00:55:35,290 --> 00:55:38,199
- A surprise?
- Yeah, it's the architecture exhibit.
821
00:55:38,500 --> 00:55:40,159
- Architecture exhibit?
- Yeah.
822
00:55:40,330 --> 00:55:44,119
- I gotta eat something or I get the shakes.
- We'll eat in 20 minutes.
823
00:55:44,290 --> 00:55:46,749
My friend Tucker is upstairs.
I want you to meet him.
824
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:50,339
- He's an architect too. Come on. Yeah.
- Architect?
825
00:55:50,510 --> 00:55:51,839
Tucker.
826
00:55:52,010 --> 00:55:56,099
This is amazing.
This just blows me away.
827
00:55:56,270 --> 00:56:00,729
What do you think this falls under?
Is this art Deco, or is it art nouveau?
828
00:56:01,770 --> 00:56:04,559
- Deco. Deco, yeah.
- Yeah.
829
00:56:05,020 --> 00:56:06,759
It's beautiful.
830
00:56:07,150 --> 00:56:10,859
Is this...? Okay, is this a
vestibule, or is it a portico?
831
00:56:11,030 --> 00:56:12,489
What is the difference?
832
00:56:12,660 --> 00:56:18,199
When you're looking at architecture,
try to visualise the buildings as a whole.
833
00:56:18,370 --> 00:56:22,829
You know, try to see them
in their natural state.
834
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:28,669
In their totalitarianism, so to speak.
835
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:33,169
- Stone-crab time. Let's go to Joe's, huh?
- Hey, Tucker.
836
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,339
Mary.
837
00:56:37,510 --> 00:56:38,749
How are you?
838
00:56:39,180 --> 00:56:40,889
Good. I'm glad we saw you.
839
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,349
Come on, like you mean it.
840
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,639
Tucker. This is my friend Pat Healy.
841
00:56:47,820 --> 00:56:50,429
- Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Patrick.
- Same here.
842
00:56:50,610 --> 00:56:53,689
- Pat is an architect as well.
- Oh, really?
843
00:56:53,860 --> 00:56:57,229
- Where are your offices?
- Mainly, I work out of Boston.
844
00:56:57,410 --> 00:56:59,199
Boston, huh?
845
00:56:59,370 --> 00:57:02,699
- Did you get your degree up there?
- You bet.
846
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:05,159
Really? Where did you study?
847
00:57:05,710 --> 00:57:07,069
Harvard.
848
00:57:07,250 --> 00:57:10,369
Then you must have studied
under Kim Green.
849
00:57:10,590 --> 00:57:11,799
Well, among others.
850
00:57:13,300 --> 00:57:16,919
You know,
Pat does projects all over the world.
851
00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:19,299
Really?
Where would I have seen your work?
852
00:57:20,060 --> 00:57:22,219
Well, have you been to...?
853
00:57:22,390 --> 00:57:24,129
Well, let me see.
854
00:57:24,310 --> 00:57:27,179
Santiago, Chile?
855
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:30,639
Twice last year. Which building is yours?
856
00:57:32,070 --> 00:57:37,529
- Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?
- Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?
857
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:43,369
No, just down the street,
the Celinto Catayente Towers.
858
00:57:43,750 --> 00:57:46,159
It's quite a fine example, in fact.
859
00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:48,289
I recommend next time
you're up that way...
860
00:57:48,460 --> 00:57:53,049
that you drop in
and take a ganders at it yourself.
861
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:58,249
- You know, I really should take your card.
- Sure.
862
00:57:59,890 --> 00:58:02,379
As I live and breathe.
Will you excuse us for a second?
863
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:06,139
- I'll call you, okay?
- Hey, Earl.
864
00:58:06,310 --> 00:58:09,269
Earl Stein, you old sheep-fucker.
How the hell are you?
865
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:11,229
My name's Brian.
866
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,859
Good one. What the hell
are you doing out here, Earl?
867
00:58:14,030 --> 00:58:15,689
No, no. My name's Brian.
868
00:58:15,860 --> 00:58:17,899
Brian Mone.
869
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:23,659
Oh, I see. Okay, yeah.
Whatever you say, Brian.
870
00:58:23,830 --> 00:58:25,619
I'll see you at the office, huh?
871
00:58:25,790 --> 00:58:28,329
I'll tell you some stories
about this weirdo.
872
00:58:29,290 --> 00:58:30,869
You know that guy?
873
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:39,329
Hey, thanks for picking me up, man.
874
00:58:39,510 --> 00:58:42,499
Yeah, no problem. I've been driving
for like 15 hours straight...
875
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:44,549
so I could use the company.
876
00:58:44,730 --> 00:58:49,439
I know what you mean. I've been standing
in the same spot for five and a half hours.
877
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,219
You know they made it illegal
to hitch hike in this state?
878
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:56,109
Really? That must make it really tough.
879
00:58:56,280 --> 00:59:00,359
So, what's going on with you?
You a salesman, or...?
880
00:59:00,780 --> 00:59:04,949
No. No, I'm nothing.
881
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:06,779
I am.
882
00:59:07,580 --> 00:59:09,069
- Yeah?
- I'm a salesman.
883
00:59:09,250 --> 00:59:12,079
- I'm gonna start my own company.
- Really?
884
00:59:12,250 --> 00:59:13,989
You want in?
885
00:59:18,180 --> 00:59:19,339
No. I'm not...
886
00:59:19,510 --> 00:59:21,629
I don't really have any,
you know, money, or...
887
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:24,549
You heard of this thing,
the 8 Minute Abs?
888
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:27,469
Yeah, sure, 8 Minute Abs,
yeah, the exercise video.
889
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:32,309
Yeah, well, this is gonna blow that
right out of the water. Listen to this.
890
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,979
7 Minute Abs.
891
00:59:38,990 --> 00:59:42,449
Right. Yes, okay, all right.
I see where you're going.
892
00:59:42,620 --> 00:59:46,199
Think about it. You walk into a video
store, see 8 Minute Abs sitting there...
893
00:59:46,370 --> 00:59:50,239
there's 7 Minute Abs right beside it.
Which one are you gonna pick, man?
894
00:59:50,420 --> 00:59:55,329
- I would go for the 7. Yeah.
- Bingo, man, bingo. 7 Minute Abs.
895
00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:58,919
And we guarantee just as good
a workout as the 8 Minute folk.
896
00:59:59,090 --> 01:00:01,459
You guarantee it? How do you do that?
897
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:05,049
If you're not happy
with the first seven minutes...
898
01:00:05,220 --> 01:00:08,679
we're gonna send you
the extra minute free.
899
01:00:08,850 --> 01:00:11,889
See, that's it. That's our motto.
That's where we're coming from.
900
01:00:12,060 --> 01:00:13,429
That's from A to B.
901
01:00:13,980 --> 01:00:16,059
That's right. That's good. That's good.
902
01:00:16,860 --> 01:00:19,849
Unless, of course,
somebody comes up with 6 Minute Abs.
903
01:00:20,030 --> 01:00:22,319
Then you're in trouble, huh?
904
01:00:28,790 --> 01:00:31,579
No. No, no, not six.
905
01:00:31,750 --> 01:00:34,289
I said seven.
Nobody's coming up with six.
906
01:00:34,460 --> 01:00:35,869
Who works out in six minutes?
907
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:40,289
You won't even get your heart going.
Not even a mouse on a wheel.
908
01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:42,379
- Good point.
- Seven's the key number here.
909
01:00:42,550 --> 01:00:45,889
- Think about it. 7-Elevens, seven dwarfs.
- Seven, yeah.
910
01:00:46,050 --> 01:00:48,089
Seven, man, that's the number.
911
01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:50,549
Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch...
912
01:00:50,730 --> 01:00:53,259
eating lots of sunflowers
on my uncle's ranch.
913
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,549
You know that old children's tale
from the sea.
914
01:00:56,730 --> 01:00:59,189
It's like you're dreaming
about Gorgonzola cheese...
915
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:03,069
when it's clearly Brie time, baby.
916
01:01:03,570 --> 01:01:05,309
Step into my office.
917
01:01:05,490 --> 01:01:08,569
- Why?
- Because you're fucking fired.
918
01:01:09,290 --> 01:01:11,779
Yeah. You know what? I gotta pee.
I'm gonna pull over.
919
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:16,949
Your car seats are making me itchy, man.
What are these made out of, cactus?
920
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:25,799
I'm only waiting seven minutes total.
921
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:38,269
- Hey, wait your turn.
- Sorry. I didn't get a...
922
01:01:40,690 --> 01:01:43,349
- We gotta get out of here.
- Wait a minute. Hey, hey.
923
01:01:45,740 --> 01:01:48,649
- This is a raid.
- No. No, no, no. I was peeing.
924
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:50,779
That's what I was doing.
I was just peeing.
925
01:01:50,950 --> 01:01:53,789
- I was peeing too.
- Yeah, I'm sure you were all just pissing.
926
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:57,789
- Let's go. Let's move it out.
- Let's go. In the truck, everybody.
927
01:01:59,170 --> 01:02:03,459
Holy Shit. Jimmy Shay, is that you?
928
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:21,609
- No, really...
- Oh, my God.
929
01:02:21,980 --> 01:02:23,639
Ted?
930
01:02:26,490 --> 01:02:29,529
If you let me talk to you for one second
outside of the truck.
931
01:02:29,700 --> 01:02:33,069
- Into the truck. Get in the truck.
- Look, I still have to pee. I wasn't...
932
01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:34,909
- Let's go.
- Can I have a cup?
933
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:36,699
See, hon? I told you he was gay.
934
01:02:36,870 --> 01:02:41,619
We'll be right back with more Cops,
live from the heartland.
935
01:03:06,610 --> 01:03:08,689
That grandmother of yours
is really something.
936
01:03:08,860 --> 01:03:10,899
Who, Magda?
No, Magda's not my grandmother.
937
01:03:11,070 --> 01:03:15,189
She rents the apartment next door.
Her husband died a couple years ago...
938
01:03:15,370 --> 01:03:18,989
and I don't think she likes being alone,
so, you know, she just hangs out.
939
01:03:19,170 --> 01:03:22,449
- Doesn't cramp your style?
- Sadly, no.
940
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:27,289
You know, sometimes I wish
I could be like Magda and not go home.
941
01:03:27,670 --> 01:03:32,539
Yeah, I'd like to bounce around for a while
and do some travelling.
942
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:35,679
I don't know why anybody
would wanna bounce around...
943
01:03:35,850 --> 01:03:38,309
you know,
if they had their own condo in Nepal.
944
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:41,639
- I'd be there in a second.
- I'd sell it.
945
01:03:41,810 --> 01:03:44,519
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Start fresh in a new place...
946
01:03:44,690 --> 01:03:46,809
give up the architect game.
947
01:03:46,990 --> 01:03:51,349
Slow things down a bit,
read more books, see more movies.
948
01:03:51,530 --> 01:03:53,359
Are you a movie buff?
949
01:03:53,530 --> 01:03:57,239
Well, I try to be, but it's tough going
with all the crap they make today.
950
01:03:57,410 --> 01:04:00,529
I guess I just wish they made movies
like they used to make.
951
01:04:00,710 --> 01:04:04,329
You know, classics like The Karate Kid
or Harold and Maude.
952
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:09,829
Harold and Maude
is my all-time favourite movie.
953
01:04:10,010 --> 01:04:13,379
- Don't bust my chops. I know it's corny...
- Pat, I'm not kidding.
954
01:04:13,550 --> 01:04:18,049
I think Harold and Maude is one of
the greatest love stories of our time.
955
01:04:21,270 --> 01:04:23,889
Here I thought I was the only one.
956
01:04:25,070 --> 01:04:28,269
You're too good to be true.
Come on, let's go dance.
957
01:04:35,490 --> 01:04:37,199
(He)', guys.
958
01:04:43,290 --> 01:04:44,909
So...
959
01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:51,959
- Yeah, well, I guess this is it, huh?
- I guess.
960
01:04:52,130 --> 01:04:54,799
- I'll see you around.
- Okay.
961
01:04:56,100 --> 01:04:58,459
- Mary?
- Yeah?
962
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:00,929
- Forget it.
- What?
963
01:05:01,100 --> 01:05:03,929
- No, no, it's stupid.
- What? Come on, you can say it.
964
01:05:04,100 --> 01:05:06,939
- No, really, it's moronic.
- Just say it.
965
01:05:07,110 --> 01:05:09,849
Can I feel your bosoms before I go?
966
01:05:13,860 --> 01:05:15,729
Knock yourself out.
967
01:05:28,380 --> 01:05:32,589
- Okay-doke. So tomorrow night?
- Sure.
968
01:05:43,060 --> 01:05:46,179
Man, they never look like you'd expect,
do they?
969
01:05:47,980 --> 01:05:51,569
That's probably how he got his victim
to drop his guard.
970
01:05:52,690 --> 01:05:54,779
Where'd they find the body?
971
01:05:55,030 --> 01:05:59,019
In a big red bag
on the front passenger seat.
972
01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:01,859
All hacked up.
973
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:03,939
Gruesome.
974
01:06:04,500 --> 01:06:07,209
Real psycho, this one.
975
01:06:08,210 --> 01:06:12,039
Hey, you're a little worked up.
Let me do the talking.
976
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:19,299
- I'm Detective Stabler. This is Krevoy.
- Look, I didn't solicit any sex, okay?
977
01:06:19,470 --> 01:06:20,929
This is a huge misunderstanding.
978
01:06:21,100 --> 01:06:23,889
I was going out to pee,
I'm walking in the bushes...
979
01:06:24,060 --> 01:06:26,799
I trip over this guy,
and there were all these cops and...
980
01:06:26,980 --> 01:06:30,719
Ted, Ted, Ted, it's okay. We believe you.
981
01:06:37,610 --> 01:06:41,699
The problem is,
we found your friend in the car.
982
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:45,199
Oh, the hitch hiker?
983
01:06:45,370 --> 01:06:47,779
That's what this is about? The hitch hiker?
984
01:06:49,250 --> 01:06:52,489
Oh, great. Just my luck.
985
01:06:52,670 --> 01:06:54,749
I get caught for everything.
986
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:58,789
So you admit it?
987
01:06:59,090 --> 01:07:01,879
Yeah. Guilty as charged.
988
01:07:02,060 --> 01:07:04,799
Look, I know that you guys
have got a job to do, all right?
989
01:07:04,970 --> 01:07:08,219
And I'm really sorry. I did it. I admit it.
990
01:07:08,390 --> 01:07:13,099
You know, the guy even told me. The hitch
hiker told me it was illegal, $0...
991
01:07:14,230 --> 01:07:15,769
Well...
992
01:07:18,490 --> 01:07:20,019
can you tell us his name?
993
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:26,029
No, I didn't catch it.
994
01:07:26,700 --> 01:07:30,699
Can we cut to the chase? I mean, am I,
like, in a lot of trouble here, or...?
995
01:07:31,500 --> 01:07:33,489
First, tell us why you did it.
996
01:07:33,670 --> 01:07:35,579
Why I did it?
997
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:40,089
I don't know. Boredom?
998
01:07:41,970 --> 01:07:44,179
Guy turns out to be a blabbermouth.
999
01:07:44,350 --> 01:07:46,679
Just would not shut up. I mean, just...
1000
01:07:46,850 --> 01:07:52,219
Ted, this wasn't your first time, was it?
1001
01:07:53,650 --> 01:07:55,179
No.
1002
01:07:56,030 --> 01:08:01,689
- How many are we talking here?
- Hitch hikers? My whole life?
1003
01:08:02,700 --> 01:08:07,069
I don't know. Twenty-five, 50.
I mean, who keeps track?
1004
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:10,829
Hey, I know this is the Bible belt,
but where I come from...
1005
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:13,079
this is not that big a deal.
1006
01:08:13,250 --> 01:08:15,039
- I mean...
- You son of a bitch.
1007
01:08:16,210 --> 01:08:18,079
You're gonna fry.
1008
01:08:19,130 --> 01:08:23,719
Hey. Hey. Take it easy. Cut it out.
What the hell are you doing? Take it easy.
1009
01:08:23,890 --> 01:08:26,049
- You okay?
- What the hell is wrong with you?
1010
01:08:26,220 --> 01:08:27,259
- You all right?
- Punk.
1011
01:08:27,430 --> 01:08:28,969
Jesus.
1012
01:08:49,910 --> 01:08:52,369
Your friend Tucker stopped by.
1013
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:54,409
Really?
1014
01:08:55,250 --> 01:08:58,409
Okay. Hey, what does it look like today?
1015
01:08:58,590 --> 01:09:01,209
It's fine. A little crazy in the afternoon.
1016
01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:03,839
Hey, Tucker.
1017
01:09:05,090 --> 01:09:06,459
What's up, doc?
1018
01:09:07,930 --> 01:09:10,669
You look different.
Did you do something with your hair?
1019
01:09:11,350 --> 01:09:13,889
The teeth. The teeth. I got them capped.
1020
01:09:14,060 --> 01:09:16,299
Oh, yeah? Hey, they look great.
1021
01:09:16,480 --> 01:09:20,519
- You don't think they look a little big?
- No, not at all. The bigger the better.
1022
01:09:20,990 --> 01:09:22,399
But they could be brighter.
1023
01:09:22,570 --> 01:09:27,819
There's nothing more sexy to me than a guy
with a mouthful of big pearly whites.
1024
01:09:27,990 --> 01:09:29,029
- Really?
- Yeah.
1025
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:32,119
Come here.
You ever had one up the hatch in here?
1026
01:09:32,290 --> 01:09:34,579
- Tucker, behave yourself.
- I'm sorry.
1027
01:09:37,420 --> 01:09:39,249
What can I do for you today, my friend?
1028
01:09:39,420 --> 01:09:43,289
I wanted to talk to you
about your friend Patrick.
1029
01:09:43,470 --> 01:09:44,629
He's a nice guy, huh?
1030
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:48,339
Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out.
How long have you known him?
1031
01:09:48,510 --> 01:09:50,599
Not very long, but I like him.
1032
01:09:51,140 --> 01:09:55,479
Well, I know he's a little different,
but that's what I like about him.
1033
01:09:55,650 --> 01:09:58,099
He dresses like a complete dork.
1034
01:09:58,270 --> 01:10:00,639
He chews with his mouth open.
1035
01:10:00,820 --> 01:10:05,649
He hardly ever says the right thing,
and he probably farts too.
1036
01:10:06,070 --> 01:10:09,489
That's what you're looking for, is it?
A farter?
1037
01:10:09,870 --> 01:10:11,729
No, I'm looking for a guy.
1038
01:10:12,580 --> 01:10:17,069
Look, it's just that something struck me
as strange about him last night.
1039
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:19,579
He gave me this funny vibe.
1040
01:10:20,250 --> 01:10:22,489
Anyway, I called some friends up north...
1041
01:10:22,670 --> 01:10:26,009
and they've never heard of an architect
named Patrick Healy.
1042
01:10:26,470 --> 01:10:28,749
And he's not listed as a Harvard alumnus.
1043
01:10:28,930 --> 01:10:30,459
- Fuck!
- Really?
1044
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:33,669
- That's strange.
- Yes, I thought so.
1045
01:10:33,850 --> 01:10:37,139
Anyway, I hope you don't think
I'm being meddlesome.
1046
01:10:37,310 --> 01:10:41,049
It's just that I think you should be
careful with this guy, that's all.
1047
01:10:41,820 --> 01:10:42,979
I mean, let's face it.
1048
01:10:43,150 --> 01:10:48,649
You're beautiful, and you've got money,
and you trust people.
1049
01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:51,529
I'm just saying,
there's a lot of psychos out there.
1050
01:10:51,700 --> 01:10:54,069
- Just be careful.
- Fucker.
1051
01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:58,529
Look, Tucker, thank you.
I really appreciate you looking out for me.
1052
01:10:59,710 --> 01:11:01,579
Okay, listen, I'll call you.
1053
01:11:01,750 --> 01:11:04,209
- Okay.
- Okay.
1054
01:11:08,550 --> 01:11:10,209
Damn.
1055
01:11:15,390 --> 01:11:20,389
- You want me to get those for you?
- No. I have to learn to do this myself.
1056
01:11:24,820 --> 01:11:26,399
Damn.
1057
01:11:28,530 --> 01:11:31,569
My leg. Could you, Mary?
1058
01:11:32,950 --> 01:11:34,609
Thank you.
1059
01:11:35,450 --> 01:11:37,569
Wait. Wait.
1060
01:11:38,870 --> 01:11:40,239
There.
1061
01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:49,799
- See?
- Yeah.
1062
01:11:49,970 --> 01:11:52,579
- I knew I could do it.
- I see. Here, let me get the door.
1063
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:54,089
Thank you.
1064
01:11:54,810 --> 01:11:56,009
- See you later.
- Goodbye.
1065
01:11:56,180 --> 01:11:58,919
Jane, can you get the door
for Tucker, please?
1066
01:11:59,100 --> 01:12:01,219
Do you...? You want me to...?
1067
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:04,429
- No. I've done this a thousand times.
- Okay.
1068
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:13,109
Mr. Stroehmann...
1069
01:12:13,280 --> 01:12:17,649
on behalf of the entire South Carolina
Law Enforcement community...
1070
01:12:17,830 --> 01:12:22,739
I would like to apologise to you
for any pain or temporary inconvenience...
1071
01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:24,909
that you may have been caused.
1072
01:12:28,970 --> 01:12:30,799
At approximately 10:40 this morning...
1073
01:12:30,970 --> 01:12:34,379
a man was apprehended
not far from where you were arrested.
1074
01:12:34,550 --> 01:12:37,089
He was identified
as an escaped mental patient...
1075
01:12:37,270 --> 01:12:40,509
and subsequently he confessed
to the murder you're being held for.
1076
01:12:40,690 --> 01:12:43,389
Lab tests confirm a fingerprint match.
1077
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:47,099
You mean I'm free to go?
1078
01:12:47,860 --> 01:12:49,939
No harm, no foul.
1079
01:12:51,990 --> 01:12:54,569
Oh, by the way,
there's someone there to see you.
1080
01:12:58,910 --> 01:13:00,869
Shut up.
1081
01:13:09,090 --> 01:13:12,129
You are a lucky son of a bitch,
you know that?
1082
01:13:12,300 --> 01:13:16,129
- I am?
- Yeah. Didn't they tell you?
1083
01:13:16,300 --> 01:13:20,509
That hitcher was about to cut your throat
before you decided to take a piss.
1084
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:22,919
Had a fucking horseshoe up your ass,
my man.
1085
01:13:27,690 --> 01:13:30,519
You got that nervous-hive thing again?
1086
01:13:30,900 --> 01:13:36,269
Yeah. Yeah, I do, Ted,
because I got some bad news.
1087
01:13:37,410 --> 01:13:39,019
Are you okay?
1088
01:13:42,660 --> 01:13:43,779
Ted, I'm dying.
1089
01:13:48,540 --> 01:13:50,209
Oh, my.
1090
01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:55,499
Ted, I'm not dying, man. Come on.
1091
01:13:55,680 --> 01:13:58,839
Jesus, it's just the humidity down here
or something. Come on.
1092
01:13:59,010 --> 01:14:02,929
No. No, Ted, the bad news I got
is about our friend Healy.
1093
01:14:03,100 --> 01:14:05,719
I sent my assistant to his apartment
with his last check.
1094
01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:07,729
The landlady said when he came back...
1095
01:14:07,900 --> 01:14:12,109
he kept talking about
falling for some doctor named Mary.
1096
01:14:13,070 --> 01:14:15,649
- Mary? My Mary?
- Well...
1097
01:14:16,820 --> 01:14:20,779
Ted, here's Healy's address down there.
1098
01:14:20,950 --> 01:14:25,069
In the future, do a little research before
you send a guy like that out into the woods.
1099
01:14:25,250 --> 01:14:27,959
I mean, Jesus Chris, it's creepy, okay?
1100
01:14:30,130 --> 01:14:32,839
You're not thinking about
going out with this guy again?
1101
01:14:33,010 --> 01:14:34,999
Mary, honey, he's a psycho.
1102
01:14:35,170 --> 01:14:39,419
- Mary, the guy's full of shit.
- Jesus, this sucks.
1103
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:42,089
It's too bad this had to happen.
1104
01:14:42,850 --> 01:14:45,089
He was almost perfect.
1105
01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:48,309
Mary, what did you say
Pat's last name was?
1106
01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:50,719
- Healy.
- Come here, come here, come here.
1107
01:14:50,900 --> 01:14:52,559
- Come on. You gotta hear this.
- What?
1108
01:14:52,730 --> 01:14:56,269
- That's the way us Healys were raised.
- So where the hell are you, Healy?
1109
01:14:56,450 --> 01:14:59,729
I got a date tonight
with that Mary girl I told you about.
1110
01:14:59,910 --> 01:15:01,439
- The sawbones?
- Yep.
1111
01:15:01,620 --> 01:15:03,949
- Oh, my God, we hit the mother lode.
- You guys...
1112
01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:06,329
should we be listening to this?
1113
01:15:07,120 --> 01:15:10,239
- She still think you're a fucking architect?
- Oh, yeah.
1114
01:15:10,420 --> 01:15:12,029
Dumb shit.
1115
01:15:12,210 --> 01:15:13,419
Mr. Perfect, huh?
1116
01:15:13,590 --> 01:15:17,379
Hey, watch your mouth.
She's a great gal, Mary.
1117
01:15:17,550 --> 01:15:22,009
- I'm the dumb shit for lying to her.
- Why didn't you just tell her the truth?
1118
01:15:22,640 --> 01:15:23,669
I don't know.
1119
01:15:23,850 --> 01:15:27,469
I guess it seems that women today
are more impressed by the almighty buck...
1120
01:15:27,640 --> 01:15:32,309
than some schmo who's spent 17 years
scraping by on Peace Corps wages.
1121
01:15:32,480 --> 01:15:33,519
Jesus, man.
1122
01:15:33,690 --> 01:15:36,309
If she's as special as you say,
she's gonna wanna hear...
1123
01:15:36,490 --> 01:15:37,819
about the things you did.
1124
01:15:37,990 --> 01:15:41,859
You could tell her about
the irrigation ditches you dug in Sudan.
1125
01:15:42,030 --> 01:15:45,319
The orphan babies
who cried in your arms in...
1126
01:15:46,660 --> 01:15:48,029
Romania.
1127
01:15:48,210 --> 01:15:52,069
The hope you gave Freddy the leper
in Calcutta.
1128
01:15:52,250 --> 01:15:54,829
I'll be honest with you.
I'm a selfish prick.
1129
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:58,539
I get a high
from helping all God's creatures.
1130
01:15:59,760 --> 01:16:02,669
An honest-to-goodness high.
I did all those things for myself.
1131
01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:04,679
(Hey, hey, he)'-
1132
01:16:09,520 --> 01:16:11,679
That's bullshit, man.
1133
01:16:11,850 --> 01:16:14,269
Hey. Hey, you were on the front line.
1134
01:16:15,190 --> 01:16:19,359
You remember?
The malaria, the typhoon fever?
1135
01:16:19,530 --> 01:16:23,189
That vicious strain of genital herpes?
1136
01:16:24,530 --> 01:16:26,069
Fuck.
1137
01:16:28,450 --> 01:16:32,659
Yeah, I cured all sorts of horrible
illnesses in Third World countries.
1138
01:16:32,830 --> 01:16:36,999
But the bottom line is, I'm not gonna use
my philanthropy as some kind of currency.
1139
01:16:37,170 --> 01:16:38,999
Especially after what I did.
1140
01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:42,289
I lied to that poor girl.
1141
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:45,679
Lied, man.
1142
01:16:45,850 --> 01:16:50,509
Well, love will make you do...
1143
01:16:51,730 --> 01:16:52,889
fucked-up things.
1144
01:16:53,100 --> 01:16:57,349
You said it, mister. I gotta run.
1145
01:16:58,480 --> 01:17:00,399
We're dicks.
1146
01:17:06,410 --> 01:17:08,649
Come here, baby.
Come here, sweetheart.
1147
01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:12,319
I'll feed you and Bill soon.
Come on, honey.
1148
01:17:18,340 --> 01:17:20,039
It's him. It's him.
1149
01:17:20,210 --> 01:17:23,049
Oh, hi. Mary.
1150
01:17:23,760 --> 01:17:25,249
Hello.
1151
01:17:26,350 --> 01:17:28,129
Mary, look.
1152
01:17:29,890 --> 01:17:32,179
Look, there's something
I have to tell you.
1153
01:17:32,350 --> 01:17:34,809
I'm not the architect you...
1154
01:17:42,110 --> 01:17:45,229
- Okay, guys, let's huddle up.
- Come on, Jimmy.
1155
01:17:45,410 --> 01:17:47,269
Jimmy, I'm open. Hit me. Come on.
1156
01:17:58,750 --> 01:18:01,339
Exceptional, my ass.
1157
01:18:13,680 --> 01:18:18,599
Looks like I double-jumped you, Warren,
for the win. Pay up, big guy.
1158
01:18:21,110 --> 01:18:23,649
- Coconut.
- Yeah, very good. Coconut.
1159
01:18:23,820 --> 01:18:25,609
Coconut.
1160
01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:27,769
Where's the rest of it, Warren?
1161
01:18:39,750 --> 01:18:41,209
Look at her.
1162
01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:46,459
She's more beautiful than I remember.
She's perfect.
1163
01:18:46,800 --> 01:18:50,259
Thanks for picking up the lunch tab, Mare.
Sorry I forgot my wallet.
1164
01:18:50,430 --> 01:18:54,049
- I feel like a dog.
- Don't worry about it. It was fun.
1165
01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:02,559
Fuck me.
1166
01:19:03,900 --> 01:19:06,139
How's my stomach taste?
1167
01:19:06,320 --> 01:19:08,479
How's my stomach taste, she says.
1168
01:19:08,910 --> 01:19:11,399
Holy shit. Look, look. There's Warren.
1169
01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:13,659
Franks and beans.
1170
01:19:14,080 --> 01:19:16,119
- Frank and beans.
- Warren, you just ate.
1171
01:19:16,290 --> 01:19:19,249
Leave him alone. He's just got
a big appetite. Right, Warren?
1172
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:22,239
I said you got a big...
1173
01:19:24,210 --> 01:19:26,379
Warren, Warren, Warren.
1174
01:19:26,840 --> 01:19:28,499
Yes.
1175
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:31,669
Listen, you can't touch his ears
unless he trusts you. I'm sorry.
1176
01:19:31,850 --> 01:19:34,839
- Are you okay?
- Not to worry.
1177
01:19:35,060 --> 01:19:38,349
- So I'll see you tonight, right?
- Sure.
1178
01:19:41,440 --> 01:19:43,399
Come here, Warren. You okay?
1179
01:19:43,570 --> 01:19:45,269
- He broke it.
- I saw.
1180
01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:48,359
Okay. What are you waiting for? Let's go.
1181
01:19:48,530 --> 01:19:51,649
- What? No. I don't know what to say.
- What are you talking about?
1182
01:19:51,820 --> 01:19:55,409
Tell her the truth about Healy.
Blow the schmuck out of the water.
1183
01:19:55,580 --> 01:19:57,239
No, I can't.
1184
01:19:57,410 --> 01:20:01,119
I unleashed the psycho on her.
She's gonna be fucking pissed.
1185
01:20:02,250 --> 01:20:05,919
- Mary. Mary.
- No, no. Stop.
1186
01:20:07,550 --> 01:20:09,079
Mary?
1187
01:20:11,260 --> 01:20:15,169
Mary? Ls that...? It is you.
1188
01:20:16,270 --> 01:20:20,049
- Who is that?
- Hi. It's Ted.
1189
01:20:20,230 --> 01:20:21,589
Ted?
1190
01:20:21,770 --> 01:20:24,309
Yeah, Ted from Rhode Island. Ted.
1191
01:20:24,480 --> 01:20:27,519
Te...? Oh, my God. Ted.
1192
01:20:27,690 --> 01:20:30,279
- Hey. Good, how are you?
- It's good to see you.
1193
01:20:30,450 --> 01:20:32,439
- Good to see you.
- How you been?
1194
01:20:32,610 --> 01:20:34,279
I'm...
1195
01:20:34,450 --> 01:20:36,279
I haven't seen you since...
1196
01:20:36,450 --> 01:20:38,319
Yeah, since...
1197
01:20:38,500 --> 01:20:42,409
- Senior prom.
- That's right, senior prom.
1198
01:20:42,580 --> 01:20:45,949
You got a great memory.
Oh, man, that was...
1199
01:20:46,130 --> 01:20:48,459
Haven't thought about that in years.
Yeah.
1200
01:20:48,630 --> 01:20:51,419
So how's everything?
1201
01:20:52,800 --> 01:20:55,459
- Everything, you know.
- Oh, that's fine.
1202
01:20:55,640 --> 01:20:58,099
I was in and out of the hospital
in a couple of weeks.
1203
01:20:58,270 --> 01:21:00,219
It was not a big deal at all.
1204
01:21:00,390 --> 01:21:04,139
Now I'm good. Strong like bull.
Really good.
1205
01:21:04,310 --> 01:21:06,679
- Hey. Hi, Warren.
- Hi, Ted.
1206
01:21:06,860 --> 01:21:10,069
- How are you?
- I'm... How are you?
1207
01:21:10,820 --> 01:21:14,189
- I can't believe that he remembers you.
- Piggyback ride?
1208
01:21:14,370 --> 01:21:17,699
Oh, piggyb No. You know what?
I'll take a rain check this time, okay?
1209
01:21:17,870 --> 01:21:19,479
He never remembers anybody.
1210
01:21:19,660 --> 01:21:21,739
- It's amazing.
- Yeah.
1211
01:21:21,910 --> 01:21:23,449
So, what are you doing here?
1212
01:21:23,620 --> 01:21:26,209
- Do you work here, or...?
- Yeah, no, this is my office.
1213
01:21:26,380 --> 01:21:27,659
Well, it's up there.
1214
01:21:28,500 --> 01:21:31,839
So yeah, I was just out
on my lunch break with Warren. It's crazy.
1215
01:21:32,010 --> 01:21:34,619
- What are you doing here?
- Well, that's a funny story.
1216
01:21:34,800 --> 01:21:37,129
I was... I decided to...
1217
01:21:37,300 --> 01:21:40,839
I got in the car with my friend,
and we just...
1218
01:21:41,020 --> 01:21:44,679
We came down to Florida, right?
1219
01:21:47,560 --> 01:21:49,349
Right.
1220
01:21:50,190 --> 01:21:52,559
Well, you look great.
You look really good.
1221
01:21:52,740 --> 01:21:55,519
I mean, what's the story?
Are you married? Do you have kids?
1222
01:21:55,700 --> 01:21:58,359
- No. No. Dodged a few bullets.
- Yeah?
1223
01:21:58,530 --> 01:22:02,569
Yeah. God, this is just so bizarre.
1224
01:22:02,750 --> 01:22:06,789
- I'm standing here with Mary Jensen.
- No, no, now it's Mary Matthews.
1225
01:22:06,960 --> 01:22:08,119
Oh, did you...?
1226
01:22:08,290 --> 01:22:11,629
No, no, no. I haven't walked
down that plank yet, no.
1227
01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:14,659
But it was this thing in college.
1228
01:22:14,840 --> 01:22:16,709
This creepy guy who...
1229
01:22:16,890 --> 01:22:19,799
Anyhow, there was a restraining order,
it got kind of ugly...
1230
01:22:19,970 --> 01:22:23,389
and after Princeton, I decided,
You know what? Be cautious.
1231
01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:26,019
Change your name.
Just kind of leave that behind.
1232
01:22:26,190 --> 01:22:28,139
- Right. Right.
- Just didn't need that.
1233
01:22:28,310 --> 01:22:30,549
- That sounds horrible.
- It was... Yeah.
1234
01:22:30,730 --> 01:22:33,899
It was, but it's over,
I think, so it's good.
1235
01:22:34,070 --> 01:22:37,399
Hey, what are you doing tonight?
Do you think you wanna, I don't know...
1236
01:22:37,570 --> 01:22:40,189
go out to dinner?
You know, catch up on old times?
1237
01:22:40,990 --> 01:22:42,479
Didn't we just do that?
1238
01:22:46,210 --> 01:22:48,449
I'm fucking with you, Ted.
1239
01:22:51,920 --> 01:22:54,289
No, listen, I'd really... I'd like to.
1240
01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:57,919
It'd be great,
but I sort of already have plans tonight.
1241
01:22:58,090 --> 01:23:01,179
- But I'm free tomorrow night.
- Yeah, sure. Or, you know...
1242
01:23:01,350 --> 01:23:04,259
Or you could blow off that jerk
you're going out with tonight...
1243
01:23:04,430 --> 01:23:05,669
and come out with me.
1244
01:23:09,190 --> 01:23:11,429
What hotel are you staying at?
1245
01:23:11,610 --> 01:23:13,219
The Cardozo.
1246
01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:16,939
- Pick you up at 8?
- Sure.
1247
01:23:17,110 --> 01:23:18,229
- Okay.
- Okay.
1248
01:23:18,410 --> 01:23:21,069
- Cool. See you.
- Bye.
1249
01:23:21,410 --> 01:23:24,029
Look closely at this picture
1250
01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:26,569
Ted and Mary like before.
1251
01:23:26,750 --> 01:23:29,029
Can you see her as Ted sees her.
1252
01:23:29,210 --> 01:23:31,449
And why he couldn't wait no more?
1253
01:23:31,630 --> 01:23:37,089
And if you still think he's being silly
Then you've still got more to see.
1254
01:23:37,260 --> 01:23:41,419
Because this isn't just a date, folks
This is chemistry.
1255
01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:44,209
And Mary.
1256
01:23:44,680 --> 01:23:48,969
Well, there's just something about Mary.
1257
01:23:58,150 --> 01:24:00,239
Banana, banana.
1258
01:24:00,410 --> 01:24:03,819
We're gonna be buying bananas tonight.
1259
01:24:03,990 --> 01:24:05,649
Whys that?
1260
01:24:05,830 --> 01:24:12,289
Back when I was your age, I always used to
make myself a big banana split after sex.
1261
01:24:12,460 --> 01:24:14,749
I think you're gonna need one tonight.
1262
01:24:14,920 --> 01:24:18,579
Don't get ahead of yourself. You'll
be eating a banana split before I do.
1263
01:24:18,760 --> 01:24:20,669
Don't bet on it.
1264
01:24:21,720 --> 01:24:23,129
Last time I had a Pap smear...
1265
01:24:23,300 --> 01:24:27,009
the guy needed leather gloves
and an oyster shucker.
1266
01:24:30,020 --> 01:24:32,309
I am a little psyched.
1267
01:24:32,480 --> 01:24:36,439
I ran into this guy
I haven't seen since high school.
1268
01:24:36,980 --> 01:24:41,349
- An old flame?
- Kind of. Ted Stroehmann.
1269
01:24:41,530 --> 01:24:44,109
The sweetest guy in the world.
1270
01:24:44,280 --> 01:24:45,519
I mean, he was so cute.
1271
01:24:45,700 --> 01:24:50,289
He was so shy and clumsy,
and he had this huge mouth full of metal.
1272
01:24:50,460 --> 01:24:52,739
You know how I like braces.
1273
01:24:52,960 --> 01:24:55,069
Anyhow, we're going out tonight.
1274
01:24:55,540 --> 01:24:57,129
Oh, no.
1275
01:24:57,300 --> 01:25:00,509
God, that reminds me. I have to call
and cancel with what's-his-face.
1276
01:25:01,050 --> 01:25:02,079
What's-his-face?
1277
01:25:02,260 --> 01:25:04,839
Wait a minute,
do I sense a chill in the air?
1278
01:25:05,010 --> 01:25:06,999
Oh, Magda.
1279
01:25:07,260 --> 01:25:09,969
I let my head
get in the way of this one.
1280
01:25:10,140 --> 01:25:14,349
You know, I always pick guys
from what I feel in here.
1281
01:25:14,520 --> 01:25:17,099
But for some reason with Pat,
I kept saying to myself:
1282
01:25:17,270 --> 01:25:20,729
Mary, grow up. You have
so much in common with this guy.
1283
01:25:20,900 --> 01:25:24,109
You'll learn to feel something for him.
But...
1284
01:25:24,280 --> 01:25:25,989
it just didn't happen.
1285
01:25:30,120 --> 01:25:32,859
- Who is it?
- It's Tucker.
1286
01:25:33,750 --> 01:25:35,619
- Tucker.
- Hello, how are you?
1287
01:25:35,790 --> 01:25:37,909
- Good, how are you?
- I'm fine, thank you.
1288
01:25:38,090 --> 01:25:41,169
- Look who's here.
- There she is.
1289
01:25:41,340 --> 01:25:44,419
I brought you
a little thirst quencher, Mag.
1290
01:25:44,590 --> 01:25:48,049
- Oh, are you sweet.
- No, I'm not.
1291
01:25:48,220 --> 01:25:50,429
I just wanna get you drunk
so you'll pass out...
1292
01:25:50,600 --> 01:25:52,889
and I can give Mary a good rogering.
1293
01:25:53,890 --> 01:25:56,729
- You want me to pour you one?
- Thanks, but I have to be going.
1294
01:25:56,900 --> 01:26:00,729
- Unfortunately, this is not a social visit.
- Really? What's up?
1295
01:26:00,900 --> 01:26:04,389
Well, I've got a little more news
about your friend Healy.
1296
01:26:04,570 --> 01:26:06,189
Tucker, every-thing's okay.
1297
01:26:06,370 --> 01:26:09,279
He confessed everything.
He told me he's not an architect.
1298
01:26:09,450 --> 01:26:12,239
You were right. But right now,
I'm actually running behind...
1299
01:26:12,410 --> 01:26:14,029
Mary, the man's a killer.
1300
01:26:15,080 --> 01:26:16,569
- What?
- Yes.
1301
01:26:16,750 --> 01:26:18,959
I have a friend
in the Boston Police Department.
1302
01:26:19,130 --> 01:26:23,089
He faxed me this this morning.
I'll just give you the highlights.
1303
01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:25,959
After a short stint as a petty thief...
1304
01:26:26,130 --> 01:26:31,599
Patrick R. Healy graduated
to armed robbery by the age of 14.
1305
01:26:31,770 --> 01:26:34,759
At 16, he committed his first murder.
1306
01:26:34,940 --> 01:26:38,179
A pretty teacher's aide
named Molly Pettygrove.
1307
01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:42,849
He was incarcerated until the age of 22, when,
despite a grim psychological profile...
1308
01:26:43,030 --> 01:26:45,189
the state was forced to release him.
1309
01:26:45,360 --> 01:26:47,769
In his mid-20s
and again in his early 30$...
1310
01:26:47,950 --> 01:26:51,689
he was suspected of homicides
in the states of Utah and Washington.
1311
01:26:51,870 --> 01:26:55,739
Unfortunately,
the bodies were so badly decomposed...
1312
01:26:55,910 --> 01:27:00,159
there wasn't enough evidence
to hold him, and so on and so forth.
1313
01:27:00,630 --> 01:27:03,919
What am I gonna do?
I'm supposed to meet this guy in an hour.
1314
01:27:04,090 --> 01:27:08,749
Well, just calm down. Every thing's
going to be fine. Don't worry.
1315
01:27:08,930 --> 01:27:10,629
Tucker.
1316
01:27:11,510 --> 01:27:14,049
Why you two never hooked up
is beyond me.
1317
01:27:15,020 --> 01:27:17,129
I'm so lucky to have you as a friend.
1318
01:27:18,270 --> 01:27:21,889
Yes, well, don't get all gooey on me, now.
You're gonna give me a big head.
1319
01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:23,979
See, the important thing, doctor...
1320
01:27:24,150 --> 01:27:26,809
is you have to distance yourself
as much as possible...
1321
01:27:26,990 --> 01:27:28,689
without pissing this psycho off.
1322
01:27:30,620 --> 01:27:32,319
Okay.
1323
01:27:32,780 --> 01:27:36,819
All right. I know what I've gotta do.
I know what I gotta do. Where's the phone?
1324
01:27:51,050 --> 01:27:53,169
You're gonna pay, fucker.
1325
01:28:11,160 --> 01:28:13,189
I don't know, Dom.
1326
01:28:13,740 --> 01:28:16,699
I don't feel good. I feel nervous.
I really feel nervous.
1327
01:28:16,870 --> 01:28:18,739
Oh, come on, relax. Relax.
1328
01:28:18,910 --> 01:28:20,909
- You been to the cash machine?
- Yeah.
1329
01:28:21,080 --> 01:28:24,119
Car clean? Plenty of gas?
1330
01:28:24,920 --> 01:28:28,789
- Breath. How's your breath?
- It's fine. I had some Altoids.
1331
01:28:28,970 --> 01:28:33,629
All right, I think you're all set.
So just go clean the pipes and it's a go.
1332
01:28:34,760 --> 01:28:36,749
You know, clean the pipes.
1333
01:28:37,180 --> 01:28:39,389
What do you mean, clean the pipes?
1334
01:28:40,100 --> 01:28:43,939
You choke the chicken
before any big date, don't you?
1335
01:28:44,360 --> 01:28:48,769
Tell me you spank the monkey
before any big date.
1336
01:28:49,610 --> 01:28:53,279
Oh, my God. He doesn't flog the dolphin
before a big date.
1337
01:28:53,450 --> 01:28:55,029
- No.
- Are you crazy?
1338
01:28:55,200 --> 01:28:57,489
That's like going out there
with a loaded gun.
1339
01:28:57,660 --> 01:29:00,279
Of course that's why you're nervous.
1340
01:29:00,460 --> 01:29:03,949
Oh, my dear friend, please sit. Please.
1341
01:29:04,130 --> 01:29:10,619
Look, after you've had sex with a girl
and you're lying in bed with her...
1342
01:29:10,800 --> 01:29:12,159
are you nervous?
1343
01:29:12,340 --> 01:29:15,799
- No.
- No, you're not. Why?
1344
01:29:15,970 --> 01:29:18,049
Because I'm tired.
1345
01:29:18,220 --> 01:29:22,089
Wrong. It's because you ain't got
the baby batter on the brain anymore.
1346
01:29:22,270 --> 01:29:25,639
Jesus. That stuff will fuck your head up.
1347
01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:27,689
Look.
1348
01:29:27,860 --> 01:29:31,319
The most honest moment in a man's life
are the few minutes...
1349
01:29:31,490 --> 01:29:32,819
after he's blown his load.
1350
01:29:32,990 --> 01:29:38,199
That is a medical fact, and the reason for it
is that you're no longer trying to get laid.
1351
01:29:38,370 --> 01:29:43,199
You're actually... You're thinking
like a girl, and girls love that.
1352
01:29:43,710 --> 01:29:45,739
Holy shit.
1353
01:29:45,920 --> 01:29:48,329
I've been going out with a loaded gun.
1354
01:29:49,710 --> 01:29:51,169
People get hurt that way.
1355
01:30:25,040 --> 01:30:27,579
Healy. How smashing to see you.
1356
01:30:27,750 --> 01:30:30,119
- You're dead, mother fucker.
- Okay. Take it easy.
1357
01:30:30,300 --> 01:30:33,659
Who the fuck do you think you are,
making that shit up about me?
1358
01:30:34,470 --> 01:30:36,879
It's that stalker, Ted.
1359
01:30:37,220 --> 01:30:38,669
He got a hold of you, didn't he?
1360
01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:41,209
You're working for him, aren't you,
you little shit?
1361
01:30:41,390 --> 01:30:42,719
Who?
1362
01:30:50,150 --> 01:30:53,019
Either you come clean,
or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.
1363
01:30:53,190 --> 01:30:55,609
I love her, man.
1364
01:30:56,490 --> 01:31:00,199
- What?
- You heard me, god-damn it.
1365
01:31:02,700 --> 01:31:04,689
I love Mary, man.
1366
01:31:07,290 --> 01:31:11,029
I'm a phony. Just like you.
1367
01:31:11,340 --> 01:31:16,249
- What do you mean?
- I mean I'm a fucking fraud.
1368
01:31:16,420 --> 01:31:19,539
I'm no architect. Don't be a putz, man.
1369
01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:24,759
Who's been to Santiago, Chile,
twice in one year?
1370
01:31:25,270 --> 01:31:30,009
- I've never even been to Jersey.
- Okay, okay. Just take it easy.
1371
01:31:30,190 --> 01:31:32,729
Wait a minute.
You knew those people back at Harvard.
1372
01:31:32,900 --> 01:31:35,019
Fuck, I knew shit, man.
1373
01:31:35,190 --> 01:31:38,359
The only thing I knew
was that you were a fake...
1374
01:31:38,570 --> 01:31:40,399
and I made up everything else.
1375
01:31:41,530 --> 01:31:43,019
My real name's Norm.
1376
01:31:44,290 --> 01:31:46,279
I'm a pizza-delivery boy.
1377
01:31:46,450 --> 01:31:49,909
Here. Look. Here's my ID.
1378
01:31:58,260 --> 01:31:59,459
Fuck me.
1379
01:32:01,640 --> 01:32:04,249
Hey, boy. How about the pizza, huh?
1380
01:32:06,680 --> 01:32:08,519
Yeah? Well, fuck you.
1381
01:32:09,890 --> 01:32:11,009
Calm down, honey.
1382
01:32:11,190 --> 01:32:13,679
Hey, you want your pizza? Here, man.
1383
01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:20,979
Excuse my friend.
1384
01:32:21,160 --> 01:32:23,359
He's had a little too much to drink.
1385
01:32:33,170 --> 01:32:35,579
Yeah. Yeah.
1386
01:32:43,430 --> 01:32:45,389
Keep the change.
1387
01:33:42,450 --> 01:33:45,899
Where the hell did it go?
1388
01:33:48,620 --> 01:33:51,409
Hang on. Wait a second.
1389
01:34:08,010 --> 01:34:10,999
- Hello. How you doing?
- Hey. Hi. Good, how are you?
1390
01:34:11,180 --> 01:34:12,509
- Good.
- Good.
1391
01:34:12,680 --> 01:34:15,519
You are looking very beautiful.
1392
01:34:15,690 --> 01:34:17,349
Thank you.
1393
01:34:18,150 --> 01:34:19,309
What is that?
1394
01:34:22,440 --> 01:34:23,649
On your ear.
1395
01:34:24,400 --> 01:34:27,519
- Ear?
- No, your left ear.
1396
01:34:27,990 --> 01:34:29,649
Is that...?
1397
01:34:31,700 --> 01:34:32,819
Is that hair gel?
1398
01:34:35,710 --> 01:34:37,819
- Yeah.
- Great. I could use some.
1399
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:40,579
- No, no, no. You don't have to. You don't...
- No, really.
1400
01:34:40,750 --> 01:34:42,409
I just ran out.
1401
01:34:46,430 --> 01:34:48,209
- How we doing over here?
- Okay.
1402
01:34:48,390 --> 01:34:50,089
- Little more wine?
- Sure.
1403
01:34:51,390 --> 01:34:54,799
So when you say killer, you mean...
1404
01:34:54,980 --> 01:34:58,439
- He's a murderer. Yeah.
- Like, an actual convicted murderer?
1405
01:34:58,610 --> 01:35:01,019
He killed people. I know, it's crazy.
1406
01:35:01,190 --> 01:35:04,099
- And, what, did he ever go to jail, or he's...?
- Yeah, in Boston.
1407
01:35:04,280 --> 01:35:06,439
- He spent... I don't know how long.
- He got out?
1408
01:35:06,610 --> 01:35:08,399
Well, it's obvious. The system sucks.
1409
01:35:08,570 --> 01:35:10,939
The guy's walking the streets.
I'm kissing him.
1410
01:35:11,160 --> 01:35:15,029
Right, but you didn't
do anything else, right?
1411
01:35:15,210 --> 01:35:17,539
- What?
- I mean, you didn't...
1412
01:35:20,380 --> 01:35:22,119
- No, no, no.
- No, okay.
1413
01:35:22,300 --> 01:35:24,539
- God, I couldn't live with myself.
- No, I mean...
1414
01:35:24,710 --> 01:35:28,669
I only went out with him a couple times,
but, you know, just the thought of that...
1415
01:35:31,140 --> 01:35:33,999
I shouldn't be putting this all on you.
I'm sorry.
1416
01:35:34,180 --> 01:35:39,389
- We haven't seen each other in so long.
- No, it's just I feel really bad.
1417
01:35:39,560 --> 01:35:42,479
I'm tired of talking about stalkers.
Let's talk about you.
1418
01:35:44,570 --> 01:35:46,809
Are you okay? Yeah?
1419
01:35:46,990 --> 01:35:49,229
- Do you want some water?
- No, I'm good.
1420
01:35:49,610 --> 01:35:53,199
So then in '94, I went back to
Dade Community College for a semester.
1421
01:35:53,370 --> 01:35:58,329
And when the WalMart cashier job fell
through, I hooked up with Peking Pizza.
1422
01:35:58,500 --> 01:36:02,369
Hey, Cat, how about
a couple of brews over here, man?
1423
01:36:03,500 --> 01:36:05,919
Hey, get the fuck out of here.
1424
01:36:06,090 --> 01:36:09,049
I told you 20 times
you're not welcome here anymore.
1425
01:36:09,220 --> 01:36:11,799
Hey, hey, hey, you,
where's that coming from?
1426
01:36:11,970 --> 01:36:15,179
It's coming from you always
skipping out on your tab.
1427
01:36:15,680 --> 01:36:17,389
Hey, I got cash.
1428
01:36:19,100 --> 01:36:21,009
Okay, Norm.
1429
01:36:21,310 --> 01:36:25,179
You pay, I'll pour. In that order.
1430
01:36:26,650 --> 01:36:29,269
- Hey, Tracy, how are the twins?
- Fuck you, Norm.
1431
01:36:29,450 --> 01:36:32,559
That's it,
I like it when you talk dirty to me, man.
1432
01:36:33,570 --> 01:36:34,779
Here you go, big guy.
1433
01:36:35,660 --> 01:36:37,819
Come on, cough it up, chompers.
1434
01:36:41,370 --> 01:36:43,039
Thanks.
1435
01:36:45,000 --> 01:36:47,539
So how the hell did you meet Mary?
1436
01:36:48,550 --> 01:36:49,999
It was just dumb luck, really.
1437
01:36:50,170 --> 01:36:53,669
I delivered a pie to her and she
answered the door in her nightgown...
1438
01:36:53,850 --> 01:36:57,209
and, wow, that was it for me.
1439
01:36:57,390 --> 01:37:00,219
I went home that night,
shaved my beard, and a week later...
1440
01:37:00,390 --> 01:37:03,059
I'm laid out in her office
with a broken back.
1441
01:37:03,230 --> 01:37:05,939
Broken back? How did you do that?
1442
01:37:06,110 --> 01:37:08,899
A friend. Baseball bat.
1443
01:37:09,320 --> 01:37:11,059
Touche.
1444
01:37:14,160 --> 01:37:15,939
You want another one?
1445
01:37:16,910 --> 01:37:20,029
Sure. Yeah. Hey, Ducky.
1446
01:37:20,200 --> 01:37:23,569
- Couple more nitrate-sicles, please.
- Two corn dogs coming up.
1447
01:37:23,750 --> 01:37:27,119
You know, I don't think that they have
enough meats on sticks.
1448
01:37:27,300 --> 01:37:30,289
No, seriously. If you think about it,
they have plenty of sweets.
1449
01:37:30,470 --> 01:37:33,919
They have lollipops, they have
Fudgsicles, they have Popsicles...
1450
01:37:34,090 --> 01:37:36,259
but they don't have
any other meat on sticks.
1451
01:37:36,430 --> 01:37:39,469
- Yes, you don't see many meats on sticks.
- Absolutely not.
1452
01:37:39,640 --> 01:37:43,759
You know what I'd like to see?
I'd like to see more meats in a cone.
1453
01:37:43,940 --> 01:37:48,679
You don't hardly ever see that. You know,
that's an idea I think is waiting to pop.
1454
01:37:48,860 --> 01:37:52,439
Just like a nice, you know, nice, big,
oversize waffle-cone...
1455
01:37:52,610 --> 01:37:54,979
- stuffed full of chopped liver.
- Chopped liver.
1456
01:37:55,160 --> 01:37:56,319
Exactly.
1457
01:37:57,700 --> 01:37:59,569
- Too bad you don't live here, Ted.
- Yeah?
1458
01:37:59,740 --> 01:38:02,329
Yeah. We have a lot in common.
1459
01:38:04,460 --> 01:38:06,409
Well, you know, maybe...
1460
01:38:06,580 --> 01:38:10,289
Have you ever thought about
maybe moving back up to Rhode Island?
1461
01:38:10,460 --> 01:38:14,419
I thought about it, but I got too much
of a good thing going on here.
1462
01:38:14,590 --> 01:38:19,509
I got a great practise,
I like the people I work with, and Warren.
1463
01:38:20,010 --> 01:38:23,549
You know, maybe you should just, like,
move down here and marry me.
1464
01:38:28,560 --> 01:38:32,559
- So you're a writer.
- Yeah, well, I'm trying to be.
1465
01:38:33,530 --> 01:38:36,609
Well, the good thing about writing
is you can do it anywhere.
1466
01:38:36,780 --> 01:38:38,319
That's true.
1467
01:38:40,330 --> 01:38:44,989
How about you? How did you manage
to stay single all these years?
1468
01:38:46,000 --> 01:38:52,499
Well, I'm bisexual, so that's hard
for a lot of guys to understand.
1469
01:38:54,010 --> 01:38:55,709
- Well...
- You gonna smoke that?
1470
01:38:58,890 --> 01:39:01,999
You know,
I read somewhere that most women...
1471
01:39:02,180 --> 01:39:05,919
if you really ask them honestly,
have tendencies towards...
1472
01:39:06,100 --> 01:39:10,219
- I mean, everybody has a bit of...
- Ted, I'm fucking with you.
1473
01:39:10,980 --> 01:39:12,559
Yeah.
1474
01:39:14,190 --> 01:39:16,899
Stalking mother fucker.
1475
01:39:17,070 --> 01:39:20,909
I know. It sickens me.
1476
01:39:21,080 --> 01:39:24,689
Actually, I did almost get married once.
1477
01:39:26,960 --> 01:39:28,659
What happened?
1478
01:39:29,540 --> 01:39:31,909
Well, he was a really great guy.
1479
01:39:32,210 --> 01:39:34,199
He lived up north, and...
1480
01:39:35,050 --> 01:39:36,829
Come on, let's go.
1481
01:39:41,550 --> 01:39:43,169
Here you go.
1482
01:39:59,950 --> 01:40:03,029
Wait. How many is this?
1483
01:40:04,200 --> 01:40:06,069
- Four.
- Four?
1484
01:40:06,250 --> 01:40:09,489
That seems like an awful lot of speed
to give one little pooch.
1485
01:40:09,670 --> 01:40:13,409
- Are you sure it won't kill him?
- I never said that.
1486
01:40:16,340 --> 01:40:18,419
Baby.
1487
01:40:24,100 --> 01:40:25,759
Good, good, good.
1488
01:40:26,350 --> 01:40:31,769
And so then it was over.
We really haven't spoken since.
1489
01:40:32,190 --> 01:40:35,059
Wow, sounds like he was almost perfect.
1490
01:40:36,530 --> 01:40:38,309
Almost.
1491
01:40:40,530 --> 01:40:43,269
Hey, you wanna go upstairs
and watch Sports Centre?
1492
01:40:45,540 --> 01:40:48,529
You know, I think I'm just gonna quit
while I'm ahead.
1493
01:40:48,700 --> 01:40:51,039
You're not that far ahead, Ted.
1494
01:40:58,260 --> 01:41:00,169
Magda.
1495
01:41:00,970 --> 01:41:02,299
What are you doing?
1496
01:41:02,470 --> 01:41:04,959
Hi, hon. Just straightening up.
1497
01:41:09,890 --> 01:41:11,099
Put that down.
1498
01:41:13,600 --> 01:41:15,389
Magda.
1499
01:41:15,980 --> 01:41:17,639
Thanks, doll.
1500
01:41:19,990 --> 01:41:22,149
Magda. Magda.
1501
01:41:22,320 --> 01:41:24,979
Honey, where is Puffy?
1502
01:41:25,160 --> 01:41:27,319
He was being a pest.
I put him in the bathroom.
1503
01:41:27,490 --> 01:41:28,979
Really?
1504
01:41:30,410 --> 01:41:32,029
Ted?
1505
01:41:32,750 --> 01:41:35,709
Can you do me a favour?
Would you mind letting the dog out?
1506
01:41:35,880 --> 01:41:38,409
I think I should have a talk
with Magda here.
1507
01:41:38,590 --> 01:41:40,249
Sure, yeah.
1508
01:41:43,050 --> 01:41:44,259
- Over here.
- Where?
1509
01:41:44,430 --> 01:41:46,629
- Here. Fine.
- Good. What's going on?
1510
01:41:47,260 --> 01:41:48,879
More cleaning.
1511
01:41:49,180 --> 01:41:51,509
- How much coffee did you have tonight?
- None.
1512
01:41:54,730 --> 01:41:56,349
Mary?
1513
01:41:57,360 --> 01:41:59,559
What kind of dog is Puffy?
1514
01:41:59,730 --> 01:42:03,819
- Border terrier.
- Border terrier. Like Benji.
1515
01:42:13,290 --> 01:42:15,029
Hey.
1516
01:42:15,500 --> 01:42:17,039
Hey.
1517
01:42:17,210 --> 01:42:20,829
Are you the little guy
making all that big noise?
1518
01:42:27,050 --> 01:42:28,089
Oh, Ted!
1519
01:42:38,650 --> 01:42:39,679
Puffy, Stop it!
1520
01:42:42,740 --> 01:42:44,399
Take a little bit of this.
1521
01:42:46,780 --> 01:42:48,609
Puffy. Puffy.
1522
01:42:55,460 --> 01:42:56,489
Puffy!
1523
01:43:12,390 --> 01:43:14,179
That's all you got, pal?
1524
01:43:18,980 --> 01:43:20,339
Ted.
1525
01:43:23,110 --> 01:43:24,599
Ted.
1526
01:43:30,570 --> 01:43:32,659
No, no, no.
1527
01:43:55,890 --> 01:43:57,429
Puffy!
1528
01:43:58,480 --> 01:44:01,769
Puffy! Puffy! Puffy!
1529
01:44:07,490 --> 01:44:09,599
How do you know that I'm right?
1530
01:44:09,780 --> 01:44:13,399
Well, you know. No, I don't.
1531
01:44:13,580 --> 01:44:16,279
- You want a grape?
- A grape? Sure.
1532
01:44:17,580 --> 01:44:19,409
- Ready?
- Yeah.
1533
01:44:20,040 --> 01:44:23,409
All net. All net. We make a good team.
1534
01:44:53,410 --> 01:44:54,989
Hey. Come on. Want a go?
1535
01:44:55,160 --> 01:44:57,069
- Closer?
- Don't be afraid. It's all right.
1536
01:44:57,240 --> 01:45:01,109
Get in closer. That's good. Don't be afraid.
Get right in there. A little bit more.
1537
01:45:01,290 --> 01:45:04,749
Good. He'll be fine.
Mary, you're being overprotective.
1538
01:45:37,990 --> 01:45:40,079
No, no, no. We already... We got...
1539
01:45:49,460 --> 01:45:51,199
Come on, come on.
1540
01:45:55,510 --> 01:45:57,839
Warren. Warren.
1541
01:45:58,010 --> 01:46:00,469
- Warren.
- Warren.
1542
01:46:02,730 --> 01:46:04,679
Warren.
1543
01:46:07,190 --> 01:46:10,679
- Warren.
- Warren, come here. Stop.
1544
01:46:13,200 --> 01:46:15,529
I'm okay. I'm okay.
1545
01:46:15,700 --> 01:46:18,279
(Hey. He)'-
1546
01:46:19,160 --> 01:46:22,529
- It's his fault. He hit me with that stuff.
- Here, let me help with that.
1547
01:46:22,710 --> 01:46:24,659
Warren! Warren!
1548
01:46:49,440 --> 01:46:52,899
I didn't do it. He got in the way.
1549
01:46:53,070 --> 01:46:55,689
I know, I know, I know.
Does anybody have any pliers?
1550
01:46:55,860 --> 01:46:59,529
Needle-nose, otherwise? Anything?
1551
01:47:08,420 --> 01:47:09,999
Hey.
1552
01:47:10,670 --> 01:47:15,879
Flowers are for you, ball is for Warren.
Had a friend Fed Ex it from Boston.
1553
01:47:16,050 --> 01:47:18,919
Signed by Tony Conigliaro.
1554
01:47:19,090 --> 01:47:22,759
Did you hire Pat Healy to spy on me?
1555
01:47:24,930 --> 01:47:26,419
What?
1556
01:47:27,690 --> 01:47:29,769
What are you talking about?
1557
01:47:30,360 --> 01:47:32,809
I got an anonymous letter.
1558
01:47:34,150 --> 01:47:35,769
It's not true, right, Ted?
1559
01:47:40,120 --> 01:47:45,109
Well, it's an interesting thing
that happened. l...
1560
01:47:46,460 --> 01:47:48,619
Yeah, it's true, but it's not...
1561
01:47:48,790 --> 01:47:51,529
Okay. Get out.
1562
01:47:52,130 --> 01:47:55,039
Mary, wait. First of all, I
didn't know that this guy was...
1563
01:47:55,210 --> 01:47:56,959
What, that he was a murderer?
1564
01:47:57,130 --> 01:47:59,499
That, yeah,
in addition to many other things.
1565
01:47:59,680 --> 01:48:02,639
I mean, I didn't know anything
about the guy. I hardly know him.
1566
01:48:02,810 --> 01:48:04,219
How could you do that, Ted?
1567
01:48:04,390 --> 01:48:08,979
How could you have some guy
you don't even know spy on me?
1568
01:48:09,480 --> 01:48:11,769
What were you trying to do?
1569
01:48:13,150 --> 01:48:16,309
Trick me into feeling something for you?
1570
01:48:19,240 --> 01:48:21,449
No. I didn't...
1571
01:48:21,660 --> 01:48:23,319
I didn't wanna trick you.
1572
01:48:25,160 --> 01:48:27,989
Just leave. Okay?
1573
01:48:29,420 --> 01:48:30,449
Mary.
1574
01:48:31,500 --> 01:48:33,079
Go.
1575
01:48:43,390 --> 01:48:47,049
I did it because I never stopped
thinking about you.
1576
01:48:47,890 --> 01:48:51,979
And if I didn't find you, I knew that my
life would never, ever be good again.
1577
01:49:36,190 --> 01:49:37,559
Hey.
1578
01:49:37,780 --> 01:49:40,519
Healy. You in there?
1579
01:49:45,870 --> 01:49:47,399
Hello?
1580
01:50:02,930 --> 01:50:07,759
And it was going along just fine
until you showed up.
1581
01:50:09,850 --> 01:50:12,509
Holy shit.
1582
01:50:12,810 --> 01:50:15,719
This is a pretty nice place.
1583
01:50:16,480 --> 01:50:19,269
Sully, what the fuck happened?
1584
01:50:19,440 --> 01:50:22,729
- Hey, surprise.
- Hey, peace, man. Come on.
1585
01:50:22,900 --> 01:50:24,809
- You fucked me, man.
- Wait. Come on.
1586
01:50:24,990 --> 01:50:29,319
- Man, don't do anything rash now, buddy.
- Who the fuck is this guy?
1587
01:50:30,830 --> 01:50:34,619
That's Norm. He's a pizza boy.
He's in love with Mary too.
1588
01:50:35,290 --> 01:50:36,499
Look, come on, man.
1589
01:50:36,920 --> 01:50:40,749
All right, look, I think everybody
could use a drink right now.
1590
01:50:40,920 --> 01:50:42,249
I don't want a drink.
1591
01:50:42,710 --> 01:50:45,709
- Fuck you.
- Hey, hey, hey, look.
1592
01:50:46,220 --> 01:50:48,879
You asked me to follow around your girl
and I did.
1593
01:50:49,720 --> 01:50:54,059
And then the truth is,
I started to like her.
1594
01:50:55,190 --> 01:50:58,849
And that's when I realised I couldn't
in good conscience bring myself to do it.
1595
01:51:00,320 --> 01:51:01,349
Do what?
1596
01:51:02,360 --> 01:51:04,899
Turn her over to a violent stalker.
1597
01:51:05,070 --> 01:51:08,109
Oh, I'm a stalker?
You're calling me a violent stalker?
1598
01:51:08,280 --> 01:51:11,239
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
- I'm a...?
1599
01:51:13,750 --> 01:51:15,739
Oh, my God.
1600
01:51:18,080 --> 01:51:19,569
That poor dog.
1601
01:51:20,920 --> 01:51:22,379
- Hey, fuck you.
- Fuck you.
1602
01:51:22,550 --> 01:51:24,789
You just can't take the fact
that it was my turn.
1603
01:51:24,970 --> 01:51:27,959
- Your turn'?
- Yeah, that's right. My turn.
1604
01:51:28,720 --> 01:51:31,429
Why can't I ever get a girl like Mary?
1605
01:51:32,010 --> 01:51:35,799
Just because you didn't get her, you didn't
have to blow us both out of the water.
1606
01:51:36,310 --> 01:51:37,769
What are you talking about?
1607
01:51:38,230 --> 01:51:41,139
You're gonna tell me
you didn't write her an anonymous letter...
1608
01:51:41,320 --> 01:51:43,479
telling her about
our whole deal together?
1609
01:51:44,280 --> 01:51:45,309
What letter?
1610
01:51:46,820 --> 01:51:48,439
Come on.
1611
01:51:50,120 --> 01:51:51,120
It was you.
1612
01:51:54,490 --> 01:51:56,609
You sent the letter.
1613
01:51:56,870 --> 01:51:58,579
It was you.
1614
01:51:58,920 --> 01:52:02,779
We had a deal. You said you wouldn't
fuck me and I wouldn't fuck you...
1615
01:52:02,960 --> 01:52:06,449
until we got this fuck
out of the fucking picture.
1616
01:52:06,630 --> 01:52:09,419
- You crossed the line, man.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
1617
01:52:09,590 --> 01:52:13,129
You're getting crazy now.
Why would I cross the line?
1618
01:52:14,140 --> 01:52:16,509
You probably did it yourself,
you piece of shit.
1619
01:52:16,680 --> 01:52:20,219
Oh, yeah. That makes a lot of sense.
Why would I rat myself out?
1620
01:52:20,400 --> 01:52:22,389
Like I'm gonna
try to figure out some guy...
1621
01:52:22,560 --> 01:52:26,059
whose idea of courting
is blowing farts in her face.
1622
01:52:26,240 --> 01:52:31,779
- You were following us.
- Don't flatter yourself. I was following her.
1623
01:52:33,370 --> 01:52:35,479
I always do.
1624
01:52:35,910 --> 01:52:39,499
How the hell do you think
I got rid of the last guy, Brett?
1625
01:52:40,170 --> 01:52:45,579
Wait. Brett? Are you saying that Brett
didn't say those things about Warren?
1626
01:52:46,760 --> 01:52:50,669
Are you shitting me?
Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes?
1627
01:52:50,840 --> 01:52:53,329
He was like an Eagle Scout.
1628
01:52:53,550 --> 01:52:57,589
Wait a minute. You two should be kissing
my fucking hairy beanbag, you know?
1629
01:52:57,770 --> 01:53:00,879
Because if it wasn't for me,
she might have married that schmuck.
1630
01:53:03,360 --> 01:53:05,189
I feel sick.
1631
01:53:05,650 --> 01:53:07,639
Both of you are just...
1632
01:53:08,780 --> 01:53:10,559
I'm out of here.
1633
01:53:11,530 --> 01:53:13,239
Yeah.
1634
01:53:14,620 --> 01:53:18,859
You know, if it wasn't you who sent
the letter and I never sent it...
1635
01:53:19,290 --> 01:53:21,069
who sent it?
1636
01:53:25,380 --> 01:53:26,959
Oh, hey, Hal.
1637
01:53:27,130 --> 01:53:30,789
I was worried about you. I thought that...
1638
01:53:32,880 --> 01:53:34,879
Oh, Sully.
1639
01:53:48,400 --> 01:53:49,979
Oh, my.
1640
01:53:50,610 --> 01:53:51,649
Woogie?
1641
01:53:52,450 --> 01:53:54,439
Who the hell is Woogie?
1642
01:53:57,530 --> 01:53:59,149
Hello.
1643
01:54:01,040 --> 01:54:02,529
What are you doing here?
1644
01:54:03,790 --> 01:54:07,029
Did you get my letter, Mare?
The one about Ted?
1645
01:54:09,130 --> 01:54:10,159
You sent that?
1646
01:54:13,430 --> 01:54:16,539
I was worried about you.
1647
01:54:16,720 --> 01:54:20,759
Woogie, you know you're not
supposed to be within 400 yards of me.
1648
01:54:20,930 --> 01:54:23,769
Yeah, I know. I do. In fact, you know...
1649
01:54:23,940 --> 01:54:26,599
that's what I really wanted
to talk to you about.
1650
01:54:26,770 --> 01:54:32,889
You know that I have actually been through
nine years of intensive psychotherapy.
1651
01:54:33,070 --> 01:54:37,059
And you know something?
You were absolutely right. I needed help.
1652
01:54:37,820 --> 01:54:42,409
That's great, Woogie.
I mean, I'm glad you're doing better.
1653
01:54:42,580 --> 01:54:44,159
You look...
1654
01:54:44,920 --> 01:54:47,119
- You look good.
- Thank you.
1655
01:54:47,580 --> 01:54:50,539
Except for the rash thing's still there,
right?
1656
01:54:50,710 --> 01:54:55,299
Yes. You noticed, huh?
These are called love blisters.
1657
01:54:55,470 --> 01:55:00,879
They went away for a little while,
but then you came back in my life, milady.
1658
01:55:02,310 --> 01:55:07,219
Woogie, I did not come back
into your life. Okay?
1659
01:55:07,400 --> 01:55:10,229
I don't even know how you found me.
Let's not forget, here.
1660
01:55:10,400 --> 01:55:13,229
You put me through a lot of bullshit,
okay?
1661
01:55:13,400 --> 01:55:17,819
I had to change my name,
I had to go to court, I moved.
1662
01:55:17,990 --> 01:55:20,069
I mean, you stole all of my shoes.
1663
01:55:21,160 --> 01:55:23,989
What? What are you talking about?
1664
01:55:24,160 --> 01:55:26,399
Woogie, I caught you red-handed.
1665
01:55:27,750 --> 01:55:30,409
I was in a weird place then, Mary.
1666
01:55:31,090 --> 01:55:35,049
Come on. Okay? Come on.
1667
01:55:35,220 --> 01:55:39,299
Give me a break here, okay?
I was a little nuts, a little...
1668
01:55:39,470 --> 01:55:41,549
But I'm fine.
1669
01:55:41,720 --> 01:55:45,679
Woogie, you're starting
to make me a little nervous.
1670
01:55:46,850 --> 01:55:49,339
I'm making you feel nervous?
Nervous? What's that?
1671
01:55:49,520 --> 01:55:52,599
I wouldn't know anything about nervous.
Jeez.
1672
01:55:52,770 --> 01:55:56,229
You ever had a white head
on your eyeball, Mary?
1673
01:55:56,400 --> 01:55:59,189
Woogie, I'm asking you to leave.
1674
01:55:59,360 --> 01:56:03,609
Oh, Mary.
Oh, Mary, you got this all wrong.
1675
01:56:03,790 --> 01:56:05,739
I'm not going anywhere.
1676
01:56:07,210 --> 01:56:10,039
Not until I get something
to remember you by.
1677
01:56:12,210 --> 01:56:14,579
Get your hands out of there.
1678
01:56:15,420 --> 01:56:17,209
- No. Woogie.
- Yeah.
1679
01:56:17,380 --> 01:56:18,669
Let go.
1680
01:56:19,430 --> 01:56:21,009
Stop it. Stop!
1681
01:56:21,180 --> 01:56:25,509
Just one pair. You owe me that,
you heartless bitch.
1682
01:56:26,140 --> 01:56:29,179
What the...? Hey.
1683
01:56:34,150 --> 01:56:37,519
Dom? You're pathetic.
1684
01:56:37,990 --> 01:56:41,849
Tucker, what happened to your crutches?
1685
01:56:42,450 --> 01:56:44,239
Yeah, well...
1686
01:56:44,410 --> 01:56:46,699
Yes, very good query, Mary. Well done.
1687
01:56:46,870 --> 01:56:49,329
Come on. Tell her the truth, pizza boy.
1688
01:56:53,290 --> 01:56:55,249
Name's Norm.
1689
01:56:55,420 --> 01:56:59,129
I live with my folks up in Pompano. Hey.
1690
01:57:00,760 --> 01:57:04,629
Oh, man.
This is like group therapy or something.
1691
01:57:04,800 --> 01:57:06,589
Dom. What are you doing here?
1692
01:57:07,140 --> 01:57:10,849
You stole her from me,
and now I want her back.
1693
01:57:11,020 --> 01:57:13,559
I stole her from you?
What are you talking about?
1694
01:57:14,650 --> 01:57:17,729
Woogie. How many times
did I tell you this at Princeton?
1695
01:57:18,320 --> 01:57:21,399
- Woogie?
- Ted and I had one date.
1696
01:57:21,570 --> 01:57:24,149
- You and I were already broken up.
- You're Woogie?
1697
01:57:25,120 --> 01:57:27,319
Dom Woganowski.
1698
01:57:29,000 --> 01:57:33,489
But you're married.
You have a wife, beautiful kids.
1699
01:57:33,670 --> 01:57:36,459
Ted, if you love them so much,
please, be my guest.
1700
01:57:36,630 --> 01:57:41,619
All right, what the hell is going on here?
Can someone explain it to me?
1701
01:57:42,090 --> 01:57:45,759
Look, we're all in love with Mary.
1702
01:57:46,930 --> 01:57:48,299
Oh, God.
1703
01:57:48,930 --> 01:57:52,179
If I may, I have a proposal.
1704
01:57:52,690 --> 01:57:55,639
I say none of us leaves this room...
1705
01:57:55,810 --> 01:57:59,019
until our young Mary here
stops jerking us around...
1706
01:57:59,190 --> 01:58:03,109
and decides, once and for all,
who she really wants.
1707
01:58:05,370 --> 01:58:08,229
Now, Mary, I know this is tough...
1708
01:58:08,910 --> 01:58:14,029
but you really will be doing them all a great
favour to tell them the truth about us.
1709
01:58:14,210 --> 01:58:17,579
Are you crazy? What makes you think
I would pick you anyhow?
1710
01:58:17,750 --> 01:58:19,909
I mean, you're a murderer.
1711
01:58:22,380 --> 01:58:27,839
Well, I may have been blowing
a little smoke up your ass there, Mary.
1712
01:58:28,010 --> 01:58:29,599
I'm sorry.
1713
01:58:32,560 --> 01:58:35,799
- Touchdown.
- Hi, Mary.
1714
01:58:36,560 --> 01:58:39,849
- Brett?
- What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
1715
01:58:40,030 --> 01:58:42,229
I'm in town to play the Dolphins,
you dumb-ass.
1716
01:58:42,400 --> 01:58:46,239
Yeah. I called him, Mary. I told him
to pick up Warren and get down here.
1717
01:58:46,410 --> 01:58:50,529
See, your friend Tucker
was lying about a couple of other things.
1718
01:58:50,700 --> 01:58:52,859
Brett never said
those bad things about Warren.
1719
01:58:53,040 --> 01:58:54,749
He loves Warren.
1720
01:58:54,910 --> 01:58:59,369
And from what he told me on the phone
just now, he loves you too.
1721
01:58:59,540 --> 01:59:01,789
He's the guy you should be with.
1722
01:59:05,930 --> 01:59:09,629
That's right, Mary.
You know I'll always be true to you.
1723
01:59:09,970 --> 01:59:13,089
Shit. This isn't fair. Jesus.
1724
01:59:13,270 --> 01:59:15,379
You know, I feel like an idiot.
1725
01:59:15,940 --> 01:59:21,059
See, I realised something today.
I'm no better than any of these guys.
1726
01:59:21,570 --> 01:59:24,929
I mean, none of them love you, really.
1727
01:59:26,070 --> 01:59:30,439
They're just fixated on you because of how
you make them feel about themselves.
1728
01:59:30,620 --> 01:59:33,579
I mean, that's not real love. That's...
1729
01:59:34,580 --> 01:59:35,869
I don't know what that is.
1730
01:59:37,330 --> 01:59:40,449
Please, Mary, don't listen to him.
1731
01:59:40,630 --> 01:59:43,289
This is just another one of his
stupid little ploys.
1732
01:59:43,460 --> 01:59:45,799
You know, Stroehmann,
you are so full of shit.
1733
01:59:45,970 --> 01:59:49,829
- Yeah. You're the biggest stalker of us all.
- You're gonna stand here and tell me...
1734
01:59:50,010 --> 01:59:52,419
that you're not nuts about this girl?
1735
01:59:52,970 --> 01:59:54,879
Yeah, that's what I'm telling you.
1736
01:59:58,810 --> 02:00:01,649
- Hey, good luck, Brett.
- Yeah. Thank you.
1737
02:00:01,820 --> 02:00:04,729
She's a great gal. Take care of her.
1738
02:00:06,320 --> 02:00:07,939
I'll see you, Mary.
1739
02:00:08,860 --> 02:00:10,269
Bye, Ted.
1740
02:00:13,200 --> 02:00:17,199
- Hey, Warren, see you later.
- Okay, goodbye, Ted.
1741
02:00:19,040 --> 02:00:20,619
Goodbye.
1742
02:00:22,000 --> 02:00:24,209
God, Mary, I've missed you.
1743
02:00:24,550 --> 02:00:25,579
Hey, Brett.
1744
02:00:25,760 --> 02:00:28,919
What are the chances I could get you
to give me a little autograph?
1745
02:00:29,090 --> 02:00:31,079
- Something nice to the wife and kids.
- What?
1746
02:00:31,260 --> 02:00:33,499
Oh, shut up. Cock tease.
1747
02:01:00,080 --> 02:01:04,499
Well, she's back with her old boyfriend.
1748
02:01:04,670 --> 02:01:08,959
He don't challenge her
He don't contend with her.
1749
02:01:09,130 --> 02:01:13,419
And she don't answer the cards you send.
1750
02:01:13,600 --> 02:01:17,549
And you're jealous of the time
That he spend with her.
1751
02:01:17,720 --> 02:01:21,929
Just let her go into the darkness.
1752
02:01:22,560 --> 02:01:26,899
Let her live for all the things there.
1753
02:01:27,070 --> 02:01:31,229
Let her go into the darkness.
1754
02:01:31,400 --> 02:01:35,439
Let her go, let her go, let her go
1755
02:01:59,220 --> 02:02:00,759
Ted.
1756
02:02:02,600 --> 02:02:04,219
Mary?
1757
02:02:06,150 --> 02:02:07,929
Ted.
1758
02:02:08,940 --> 02:02:10,599
Mary.
1759
02:02:12,780 --> 02:02:14,359
Ted.
1760
02:02:18,330 --> 02:02:19,819
You forgot your keys.
1761
02:02:33,680 --> 02:02:35,759
Did you really mean
what you said up there?
1762
02:02:39,470 --> 02:02:41,709
I just want you to be happy, Mary.
1763
02:02:45,810 --> 02:02:47,929
But I'd be happiest with you.
1764
02:02:52,490 --> 02:02:54,019
You're fucking with me, right?
1765
02:02:58,620 --> 02:03:03,279
What about Brett Favre?
1766
02:03:05,250 --> 02:03:07,989
What did I tell you the first time we met?
1767
02:03:08,500 --> 02:03:10,119
I'm a Niners fan.
1768
02:03:23,060 --> 02:03:28,429
♪ His friends would say ♪
♪ Stop whining, they've had enough of that ♪
1769
02:03:28,610 --> 02:03:33,769
♪ His friends would say ♪
♪ Stop pining, there's other girls to look at ♪
1770
02:03:34,240 --> 02:03:39,029
♪ They've tried to set him up ♪
♪ With Tiffany and Indigo ♪
1771
02:03:39,620 --> 02:03:44,949
♪ But there's something about Mary ♪
♪ That they don't know ♪
1772
02:03:45,120 --> 02:03:46,239
What are you doing?
1773
02:03:46,410 --> 02:03:49,949
- That's my girl he's kissing.
- But you just slept with me.
1774
02:03:50,130 --> 02:03:52,579
I was only boning you to get to Mary.
1775
02:04:04,270 --> 02:04:07,469
And a one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
142490
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.