Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Watch any video online with Open-SUBTITLES
Free Browser extension: osdb.link/ext
2
00:00:24,097 --> 00:00:26,832
Stay.
3
00:00:30,670 --> 00:00:34,640
Andy, I hear
you're very talented.
Yes.
4
00:00:41,381 --> 00:00:43,415
Well, he certainly isn't
what you'd call shy.
5
00:00:43,416 --> 00:00:45,083
He's got a lot of
confidence in himself.
6
00:00:45,084 --> 00:00:47,686
Andy, would you
honor us with a song?
7
00:00:47,687 --> 00:00:49,988
Mom, are there any
more people comin'?
8
00:00:49,989 --> 00:00:51,735
No, Andy.
9
00:00:51,759 --> 00:00:52,192
A regular entertainer!
10
00:00:52,193 --> 00:00:55,128
Well, I think we're gonna
have another Eddie Cantor.
A lot of confidence!
11
00:00:55,129 --> 00:00:57,930
Mr. Willingham,
I think you could
see better
12
00:00:57,931 --> 00:00:59,065
if you moved
to that chair.
13
00:00:59,066 --> 00:01:02,846
Mrs. Davis,
why don't you
come up front?
14
00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:05,138
Mom, could you
turn off the big light
15
00:01:05,139 --> 00:01:07,440
and just give me
the lamp in the corner.
16
00:01:07,441 --> 00:01:10,043
Would you two
be seated, please?
17
00:01:10,044 --> 00:01:13,580
Skags, I work alone.
18
00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:17,883
Hit it, Ma.
19
00:01:18,819 --> 00:01:22,932
♪ Mammy
20
00:01:22,956 --> 00:01:26,793
♪ Mammy
21
00:01:26,894 --> 00:01:28,928
♪ The sun shines east
22
00:01:28,929 --> 00:01:30,864
♪ The sun shines west
23
00:01:30,865 --> 00:01:35,246
♪ I know where
the sun shines best
24
00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:36,470
♪ Mammy
25
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:37,371
Please pass
the cookies.
26
00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:40,840
You want me to sing
or do you wanna talk?
27
00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:43,410
Andy, you apologize
immediately!
28
00:01:43,411 --> 00:01:45,956
I apologize.
Are you through talking?
29
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,047
Yes.
30
00:01:47,048 --> 00:01:49,183
Good.
31
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:51,847
Yes! Don't I know you
from someplace?
32
00:02:51,848 --> 00:02:55,061
Weren't you taller
and much older?
33
00:02:55,085 --> 00:02:58,921
Tell me, do you ever
pick your nose?
34
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:00,389
What?
35
00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:03,169
Well, what I mean is,
36
00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:05,895
I can't imagine anyone
as pretty as you are
37
00:03:05,896 --> 00:03:08,364
ever picking your nose.
38
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,811
I pick.
39
00:03:11,835 --> 00:03:14,837
I'd sure like to take you
to dinner some night.
40
00:03:14,838 --> 00:03:18,874
Oh, well, this conversation
has made me hungry.
41
00:03:19,276 --> 00:03:22,211
Why would you like to
take me to dinner?
42
00:03:22,279 --> 00:03:26,081
Good food,
good conversation.
43
00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:28,817
Perhaps some
pre-marital sex.
44
00:03:28,985 --> 00:03:31,321
Wha...what is this?
Who are you?
45
00:03:31,322 --> 00:03:34,101
The one and only
Andy Schmidt!
46
00:03:34,125 --> 00:03:35,402
Who are you?
47
00:03:35,426 --> 00:03:38,806
Ah, the ever-popular
Mary Crawford.
48
00:03:38,830 --> 00:03:41,998
And totally unavailable.
49
00:03:50,608 --> 00:03:51,541
Wait a minute!
50
00:03:51,542 --> 00:03:53,977
Wait one minute.
Wait a minute!
51
00:03:53,978 --> 00:03:56,346
Is your mother
still good looking?
Yes. Why?
52
00:03:56,347 --> 00:03:59,082
Because if I marry you,
I don't want an old bag
at age 46!
53
00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:01,551
Have you ever
seen me in anything?
School play or anything?
54
00:04:01,552 --> 00:04:02,619
Uh, no.
I'm terrific!
55
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,222
I've been taking acting
classes since I was 12.
56
00:04:05,223 --> 00:04:07,490
I'm gonna be a star!
Or a fireman.
57
00:04:07,491 --> 00:04:09,426
Are you sure?
About being a star?
58
00:04:09,427 --> 00:04:11,896
Well, I have doubts.
Thursdays.
59
00:04:11,897 --> 00:04:14,098
Look, I have to go
to rehearsal.
Where do you live?
60
00:04:14,099 --> 00:04:15,466
Uh, the Kappa house,
61
00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:17,501
but I'm kind of
going with someone.
62
00:04:17,502 --> 00:04:20,538
Oh, whoever it is,
I like me better.
63
00:04:21,006 --> 00:04:23,474
I can't wait
to kiss you!
64
00:04:23,942 --> 00:04:26,110
See ya!
65
00:04:27,312 --> 00:04:29,480
Don't worry
if you're a virgin!
66
00:04:29,481 --> 00:04:33,985
Whatever goes on between us,
I keep my mouth shut!
67
00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:42,337
All right, people!
People!
68
00:04:42,361 --> 00:04:44,427
People!
69
00:04:44,529 --> 00:04:47,231
Oh, for Christ's sake,
will everyone just shut up?
70
00:04:47,232 --> 00:04:48,399
All right now.
71
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,168
Stop talking!
Quiet!
72
00:04:50,169 --> 00:04:52,204
Shut up!
Quiet!
73
00:04:52,205 --> 00:04:53,171
Shut up!
74
00:04:53,172 --> 00:04:57,876
Schmidt!
You are the one
who's talking!
75
00:04:59,479 --> 00:05:01,813
I think
you're right.
76
00:05:02,248 --> 00:05:05,951
Now, people,
this is your play.
77
00:05:05,952 --> 00:05:07,519
If you want to
make it into a turd...
78
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,821
Let's see
a show of hands.
79
00:05:10,590 --> 00:05:13,158
Mr. Schmidt, do you
wanna be in this play?
80
00:05:13,159 --> 00:05:15,294
Oh, yes, I think
this turd needs me.
81
00:05:15,295 --> 00:05:16,662
Look, one more word
out of you, Schmidt,
82
00:05:16,663 --> 00:05:18,096
and you are
out of this play!
83
00:05:18,097 --> 00:05:19,998
I will not have this!
Do you understand?
84
00:05:19,999 --> 00:05:20,666
I'm sorry, Mr. Moses,
85
00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:24,002
I was just trying to
keep the morale up.
86
00:05:24,037 --> 00:05:25,103
Well, Mr. Schmidt,
87
00:05:25,104 --> 00:05:27,606
since you are
so anxious to perform,
88
00:05:27,607 --> 00:05:30,209
we'll run your scene
right now.
89
00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:33,212
Oh, have you memorized
your line, Mr. Schmidt?
90
00:05:33,213 --> 00:05:34,647
Yes, sir.
91
00:05:34,648 --> 00:05:35,415
Good.
92
00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:38,117
Arnold? Would you
and your entourage
93
00:05:38,118 --> 00:05:40,086
be so good as to
cue Mr. Schmidt?
94
00:05:40,087 --> 00:05:41,287
Perhaps then
we can excuse him
95
00:05:41,288 --> 00:05:43,256
for his
football practice.
96
00:05:43,257 --> 00:05:46,025
All right, now,
places, people, places.
Let's go.
97
00:05:46,026 --> 00:05:48,194
Get to your places, now.
Get ready for your cue.
98
00:05:48,195 --> 00:05:52,965
Let's go. All right,
let's hear the drums.
99
00:06:03,143 --> 00:06:07,157
My country, I fear,
grows weary of me.
100
00:06:07,181 --> 00:06:09,115
My lord, may I speak?
101
00:06:09,116 --> 00:06:12,553
Hold it! Stop!
Where does it say,
102
00:06:12,554 --> 00:06:15,055
"May I speak?"
103
00:06:16,624 --> 00:06:18,258
Sir. Mr. Moses,
104
00:06:18,259 --> 00:06:22,029
this man happens
to be in charge of
a very large country.
105
00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:25,531
A guard doesn't just
go up and start talking.
106
00:06:26,401 --> 00:06:30,004
Schmidt! Do just
what is in the script!
107
00:06:30,138 --> 00:06:33,017
Don't push me Schmidt, hmm?
108
00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:35,209
Cue him again.
109
00:06:38,546 --> 00:06:43,450
My country, I fear,
grows weary of me.
110
00:06:44,052 --> 00:06:45,219
My lord...
111
00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:52,327
Death would be an honor,
if death were serving you!
112
00:06:58,601 --> 00:07:02,003
You're crying.
Why are you crying?
113
00:07:02,605 --> 00:07:04,105
Here I'm trying
to show that
114
00:07:04,106 --> 00:07:08,008
the guys down
at the guardhouse
feel terrible for him.
115
00:07:08,277 --> 00:07:10,278
It's something I've been
working on at home.
116
00:07:10,279 --> 00:07:12,480
Schmidt, I don't want
the guards to cry.
117
00:07:12,481 --> 00:07:15,683
How 'bout hollow laughter
showing frustration?
118
00:07:15,684 --> 00:07:18,386
Huh, huh, huh, huh.
119
00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:21,089
No laughs, no crying!
120
00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:24,692
I guess urinating
on him is totally
out of the question.
121
00:07:26,595 --> 00:07:30,676
So, I have this degree
in sociology, and, um,
122
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,501
well, what do
I do with it?
123
00:07:32,502 --> 00:07:36,349
Open a sociology store!
Let's talk about me!
124
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:39,241
You like yourself
very much, don't you?
125
00:07:39,242 --> 00:07:41,454
I think I have
great taste!
126
00:07:41,478 --> 00:07:43,813
Do people like you
ever get married?
127
00:07:43,814 --> 00:07:48,284
I think your only
chance is to get me
before I'm successful.
128
00:07:48,351 --> 00:07:50,263
You're a lunatic.
129
00:07:50,287 --> 00:07:54,167
Lunatic? Lunatic?
130
00:07:54,191 --> 00:07:55,658
I don't think
that's quite fair.
131
00:07:55,659 --> 00:07:58,337
I might be a little
eccentric, perhaps.
132
00:07:58,361 --> 00:08:00,606
Hold all my calls,
please!
133
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,566
A lunatic is
someone who is
mentally disturbed.
134
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,167
Ah, insane, perhaps.
135
00:08:05,168 --> 00:08:06,802
But in my case,
I think I'm just
136
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:10,851
your regular guy
with regular quirks.
137
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:13,253
I love carrots.
138
00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:15,612
I was a rabbit
for several years.
139
00:08:15,613 --> 00:08:18,281
Are you expecting
any more calls?
140
00:08:18,282 --> 00:08:19,316
Isn't this fun?
141
00:08:19,317 --> 00:08:21,485
Later, there's a good
chance we'll make love.
142
00:08:21,486 --> 00:08:21,819
Andy.
Huh?
143
00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:25,422
This is the first date
I've had with anyone
but Paul in 2 years.
144
00:08:25,423 --> 00:08:29,603
I mean, I don't even
know why I'm here!
145
00:08:29,627 --> 00:08:32,596
Mary, do you have
any idea who I am?
You?
146
00:08:32,597 --> 00:08:35,642
Quick! Very quick!
Watch your tongue.
147
00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,434
I happen to be
a big talent.
148
00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:39,703
I can sing, dance,
act, tell jokes.
149
00:08:39,704 --> 00:08:42,372
I can imitate anyone!
150
00:08:42,473 --> 00:08:44,141
Paul's going to
be a doctor.
151
00:08:44,142 --> 00:08:46,143
Paul's going to be a
member of the audience.
152
00:08:46,144 --> 00:08:47,811
Everyone you ever meet,
except me,
153
00:08:47,812 --> 00:08:50,515
is going to be a
member of the audience.
154
00:08:50,516 --> 00:08:52,850
But on the side,
he'll be a doctor.
155
00:08:52,851 --> 00:08:55,686
On the side,
he'll have a nurse.
156
00:08:55,687 --> 00:08:57,255
I don't like
this conversation,
157
00:08:57,256 --> 00:09:00,235
and I'm not sure
that I like you.
158
00:09:00,259 --> 00:09:02,527
♪ Getting to know you
159
00:09:02,528 --> 00:09:07,642
♪ Getting to know
all about you
160
00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:09,901
♪ Getting to know you
161
00:09:09,902 --> 00:09:13,538
♪ Getting to know
what to say
162
00:09:13,539 --> 00:09:15,473
♪ Dum-de-dum
de-dum-de-dum
163
00:09:15,474 --> 00:09:17,775
♪ Getting to like you
164
00:09:17,776 --> 00:09:22,346
♪ Putting it my way
but nicely
165
00:09:22,347 --> 00:09:28,954
♪ You are precisely
my cup of tea ♪
166
00:09:28,955 --> 00:09:31,323
Ahem! Sir?
167
00:09:31,324 --> 00:09:33,192
Everything is delicious!
168
00:09:33,193 --> 00:09:35,260
♪ Haven't you noticed
169
00:09:35,261 --> 00:09:38,730
♪ That suddenly
I'm bright and breezy ♪
170
00:09:38,731 --> 00:09:42,511
Please! You may not
sing in here.
171
00:09:42,535 --> 00:09:45,337
Ah, excuse me,
I didn't see the sign!
172
00:09:45,338 --> 00:09:48,784
Well, this is
a restaurant.
Please?
173
00:09:48,808 --> 00:09:49,541
Of course!
174
00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:52,711
Not only are you insane,
but you're off-key.
175
00:09:52,712 --> 00:09:53,845
But adorable, huh?
176
00:09:53,846 --> 00:09:54,947
Should Paul
eat his heart out?
177
00:09:54,948 --> 00:09:57,726
Ha! He's a doctor!
He can just cut it out!
178
00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,618
Everybody, sing!
179
00:09:59,619 --> 00:10:04,266
♪ Because of all
the beautiful and new
180
00:10:04,290 --> 00:10:12,432
♪ Things I'm learning
about you
181
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,434
You're singing again.
182
00:10:14,435 --> 00:10:15,668
♪ Day by day ♪
183
00:10:15,669 --> 00:10:20,417
He's sorry. Really.
He's trying to seduce me,
and, uh, he's young.
184
00:10:20,441 --> 00:10:21,674
You must have
been young once,
185
00:10:21,675 --> 00:10:22,675
before you made
captain?
186
00:10:22,676 --> 00:10:26,146
Heh! Goodbye!
Goodbye.
187
00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:27,480
Would you like to
go to a motel?
188
00:10:27,481 --> 00:10:30,260
We don't have to
do anything.
We could just swim.
189
00:10:30,284 --> 00:10:31,551
No!
190
00:10:31,552 --> 00:10:33,586
No. Well, in that case,
191
00:10:33,587 --> 00:10:35,288
you had the salad.
I had the peas.
192
00:10:35,289 --> 00:10:39,359
With your share
of the tip, you owe...
193
00:10:45,866 --> 00:10:47,677
Kids...
194
00:10:47,701 --> 00:10:51,882
Every one of you kids
is like my own son to me.
195
00:10:51,906 --> 00:10:53,807
Win or lose today,
196
00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:57,278
I want each and every one
of you to know how I feel.
197
00:10:57,279 --> 00:11:00,680
Like your father.
That's really nice!
198
00:11:04,853 --> 00:11:08,922
Now, guys, we are
playing a rough crew
out there today!
199
00:11:08,923 --> 00:11:10,858
They're supposed
to be faster.
200
00:11:10,859 --> 00:11:11,992
I read in the paper
this morning
201
00:11:11,993 --> 00:11:14,495
they're faster than
we are! Are they?
202
00:11:14,496 --> 00:11:15,629
No!
203
00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:19,266
We've got some
fast guys!
204
00:11:19,768 --> 00:11:23,447
Schmidt, answer with
the rest of the team,
will you, please?
205
00:11:23,471 --> 00:11:25,539
Check!
206
00:11:25,674 --> 00:11:29,311
Some say they're bigger.
Well, maybe they are.
207
00:11:29,312 --> 00:11:31,680
No!
208
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:36,695
I'm sorry. I thought
we were all gonna
say "no" together.
209
00:11:36,719 --> 00:11:40,799
Please continue.
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Schmidt.
210
00:11:40,823 --> 00:11:42,891
Well, some of them
are bigger.
211
00:11:42,892 --> 00:11:46,094
But I always say,
the team that wants
to win the most,
212
00:11:46,095 --> 00:11:48,063
is the team that
wins the most!
213
00:11:48,064 --> 00:11:51,099
Now, goddamn it,
who wants this game more?
214
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:53,969
We do!
215
00:11:57,473 --> 00:12:00,419
All right, now.
You're all my sons.
216
00:12:00,443 --> 00:12:03,111
Now, go on out there
and win this one
for your father!
217
00:12:03,112 --> 00:12:04,879
I wanna stomp
their asses!
218
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,048
I wanna kill those
bastards! I'm up!
219
00:12:07,049 --> 00:12:08,117
If you don't sit down,
you asshole,
220
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,019
you probably won't
even get in the game!
221
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,921
Oh, yeah.
222
00:12:11,922 --> 00:12:13,489
Now let's go out there
and win this one!
223
00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:17,003
You heard him!
Let's move it!
224
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,094
Move it! Hustle!
225
00:12:18,095 --> 00:12:19,428
Hustle!
Let's go!
226
00:12:19,429 --> 00:12:20,463
Move it out there!
227
00:12:20,464 --> 00:12:21,497
Let's go!
Let's go!
228
00:12:21,498 --> 00:12:22,465
Hustle!
Hustle, coach!
229
00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:23,666
Get out there
and hustle!
230
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:24,800
Hustle! Hustle!
231
00:12:24,801 --> 00:12:27,870
Get your ass out there!
232
00:12:35,512 --> 00:12:37,780
Coach, that
Ferguson's a killer!
233
00:12:37,781 --> 00:12:41,884
He's tearin' everybody
apart in there!
234
00:12:44,087 --> 00:12:46,599
Hey, Schmidt!
235
00:12:46,623 --> 00:12:48,836
Schmidt!
Come here!
236
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:49,693
Yes?
237
00:12:49,694 --> 00:12:50,927
We need someone
to stop Ferguson.
238
00:12:50,928 --> 00:12:53,463
Right. He's
gotta be stopped!
239
00:12:53,464 --> 00:12:54,698
How about Jones?
Nobody likes him.
240
00:12:54,699 --> 00:12:56,166
Goddamn it, Schmidt,
you get in there!
241
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:57,811
You play Ferguson!
242
00:12:57,835 --> 00:12:59,469
Schmidt!
Put your helmet on!
243
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:01,782
My helmet! My helmet!
244
00:13:01,806 --> 00:13:04,051
I'm in! I'm in!
245
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:04,908
Jerk!
246
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,844
Now playing guard
for Ohio Southern,
247
00:13:07,845 --> 00:13:10,746
Schmidt, number 33.
248
00:13:15,019 --> 00:13:16,653
All right,
you asked for it!
249
00:13:16,654 --> 00:13:18,399
I'll take you on!
250
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,590
Get out of there!
251
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:24,795
All right,
let's go now, guys.
252
00:13:26,731 --> 00:13:28,966
Ohio break!
Come on!
253
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:31,436
Let's go. Let's go!
254
00:13:34,173 --> 00:13:36,117
Set.
255
00:13:36,141 --> 00:13:38,743
Hike!
256
00:13:38,744 --> 00:13:40,878
Hup. Hup.
257
00:13:53,225 --> 00:13:57,395
All right, get out there.
Go get him.
258
00:14:28,862 --> 00:14:33,699
Psst! Don't rush.
Don't rush!
259
00:14:41,574 --> 00:14:44,777
I love where
your hand is.
260
00:14:45,612 --> 00:14:46,745
I beg your pardon,
261
00:14:46,746 --> 00:14:49,983
both of my hands
are around you.
262
00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:53,820
Excuse me.
It was my hand.
263
00:14:53,821 --> 00:14:56,700
You even make jokes
when you're kissing.
264
00:14:56,724 --> 00:15:00,237
Well, sure,
why shouldn't
necking be fun?
265
00:15:00,261 --> 00:15:02,662
Even faking a football
injury's fun, huh?
266
00:15:02,663 --> 00:15:03,897
And scaring me
half to death?
267
00:15:03,898 --> 00:15:05,899
I wasn't faking.
I was acting.
268
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:07,534
That was a
great performance.
269
00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:09,035
Did you see
that audience?
270
00:15:09,036 --> 00:15:10,747
Did they love me?
271
00:15:10,771 --> 00:15:14,140
Are you acting
all the time?
272
00:15:14,275 --> 00:15:15,942
How 'bout when
you're kissing me?
273
00:15:15,943 --> 00:15:18,555
Is that acting?
274
00:15:18,579 --> 00:15:22,715
Is this conversation
a part of the act?
275
00:15:24,818 --> 00:15:27,565
Who the hell
are you, really?
276
00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:29,634
Mary, listen to me.
277
00:15:29,658 --> 00:15:32,927
What's inside me is
too strong to control.
278
00:15:32,928 --> 00:15:35,629
Is it too strong
or are you too weak?
279
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:38,910
Who do you think you are,
criticizing me?
280
00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:40,668
What I am is great!
281
00:15:40,669 --> 00:15:44,248
I know it and you're
afraid of it!
282
00:15:44,272 --> 00:15:45,873
You better be great.
283
00:15:45,874 --> 00:15:49,910
You're the most insecure
person I've ever met.
284
00:15:54,783 --> 00:15:57,017
Get out.
285
00:16:16,138 --> 00:16:20,242
Aw, get in!
You're acting
like a child!
286
00:16:31,087 --> 00:16:33,632
Mary, I'm under
a lot of pressure.
287
00:16:33,656 --> 00:16:35,790
I just wanted to
talk to you.
288
00:16:35,791 --> 00:16:38,026
I'm sorry.
289
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,729
I'm the wrong person.
290
00:16:40,763 --> 00:16:43,041
You need help.
291
00:16:43,065 --> 00:16:43,999
Do me a favor,
292
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,834
and don't ever try
to take me out again.
293
00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:49,272
You're only fun
as a stranger.
294
00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:50,239
Get out.
295
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,109
If I get out,
I'm not gonna
get back in.
296
00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:56,178
I'll take that chance.
297
00:17:13,697 --> 00:17:14,930
All right,
marry your doctor!
298
00:17:14,931 --> 00:17:18,401
Do you think I need
a middle-class broad
like you holding me back?
299
00:17:18,402 --> 00:17:22,872
You can tell your kids
you once dated a star!
300
00:17:30,248 --> 00:17:31,014
Car trouble?
301
00:17:31,015 --> 00:17:35,085
No. I'm an enormously
talented young actor.
302
00:17:35,086 --> 00:17:37,187
I sing, I dance,
I do impersonations,
303
00:17:37,188 --> 00:17:40,034
and she wants to be
with some doctor!
304
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:41,124
We're not getting along.
305
00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:42,225
I threw her
outta the car,
306
00:17:42,226 --> 00:17:43,427
but I can't
leave her here.
307
00:17:43,428 --> 00:17:45,062
You don't have
car trouble?
308
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,863
No. I'm headed
for New York
309
00:17:46,864 --> 00:17:48,732
as soon as this
school year is over.
310
00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:50,133
I'm talkin'
about Broadway.
311
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:51,268
I have offers, you know.
312
00:17:51,269 --> 00:17:53,303
Could you take me
back to the campus?
313
00:17:53,304 --> 00:17:54,104
He's nuts.
314
00:17:54,105 --> 00:17:56,073
You see what I mean?
Why am I with her?
315
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:57,140
I thought
she was different.
316
00:17:57,141 --> 00:18:00,988
Uh, could you
just keep quiet?
Typical!
317
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:02,345
I'll drive you
to the campus.
318
00:18:02,346 --> 00:18:04,715
Harold, this
could be dangerous!
319
00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:06,284
No, just boring.
320
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,329
Get in.
321
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:12,090
Here, I'll say
good night here.
322
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:15,026
There you go.
323
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,404
Drive safely!
324
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,107
For sure.
Okay.
325
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,142
Bye-bye!
326
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,767
I'll call ya!
327
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,805
Does that sound
like Harry James?
328
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:29,751
No.
329
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:30,942
Andy.
Yeah?
330
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,410
Did you see the
school paper today?
331
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,011
Was my name
mentioned?
332
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:36,314
No.
Forget it.
333
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,782
I guess you don't
know that
334
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,352
Mary Crawford got engaged
to Paul Harris last night.
335
00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:44,422
No, I didn't see that.
336
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:48,927
Gosh! I'm so
happy for her.
337
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,841
I'm sorry, Andy.
338
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:54,366
Eddie,
where am I going?
Broadway.
339
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,401
What am I going to be?
A star.
340
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:57,770
Do I need her?
No.
341
00:18:57,771 --> 00:19:01,073
I love her,
you asshole!
342
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,387
Mary, I'm so happy.
343
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:09,525
I'm glad now that we
decided to wait to uh...
344
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,917
Uh...
345
00:19:12,786 --> 00:19:14,887
You know.
346
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,791
Paul, why don't
we just...
347
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,292
Go out tonight
and get drunk?
348
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,261
Just be funny and crazy
with each other.
349
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:26,343
I mean, we'll never
be as young
as we are tonight.
350
00:19:26,367 --> 00:19:28,401
Yes, that would be
a lot of fun,
351
00:19:28,402 --> 00:19:31,237
but I have classes
tomorrow morning
starting at 8:00,
352
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:32,939
and you don't drink.
353
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:35,285
That's another thing
I'm waiting to do.
354
00:19:35,309 --> 00:19:37,210
Mary!
355
00:19:37,211 --> 00:19:39,446
Oh, Christ!
356
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,282
I have to talk to you!
357
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:44,184
Uh, pardon me,
I don't think I know you.
358
00:19:44,185 --> 00:19:47,964
I'm Andy.
Are you Paul?
359
00:19:47,988 --> 00:19:50,055
Yes.
360
00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:03,246
Uh, uh,
what's so funny?
361
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,104
Ah, he thinks
everything's funny.
362
00:20:05,105 --> 00:20:06,984
He's crazy.
363
00:20:07,008 --> 00:20:09,175
He's the doctor?
364
00:20:11,379 --> 00:20:13,080
Excuse me, here...
365
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:16,383
I just expected more
from the way
she described you.
366
00:20:16,384 --> 00:20:17,985
No offense!
367
00:20:17,986 --> 00:20:19,119
Mary, who is this?
368
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,166
I told you, I'm Andy.
I'm her lover.
369
00:20:22,190 --> 00:20:23,357
You must be
the boyfriend.
370
00:20:23,358 --> 00:20:25,492
I can't tell you
how relieved I am
371
00:20:25,493 --> 00:20:28,262
that you turned out
like this.
372
00:20:28,263 --> 00:20:29,864
Now look, fella,
I can take a joke
373
00:20:29,865 --> 00:20:30,598
just as well
as the next guy.
374
00:20:30,599 --> 00:20:32,900
Uh, Andy, Paul and I
just got engaged.
375
00:20:32,901 --> 00:20:35,502
I heard!
Congratulations!
Why, thank you.
376
00:20:35,503 --> 00:20:38,539
We're still gonna spend
the weekends together,
though, aren't we?
377
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:40,107
Don't worry.
378
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,609
It's only physical.
379
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:47,125
Now, look!
Am I making you angry?
Puff once if it's yes.
380
00:20:47,149 --> 00:20:48,250
Mary, please,
would you...
381
00:20:48,251 --> 00:20:49,651
Uh, Paul,
I'll call you tomorrow.
382
00:20:49,652 --> 00:20:52,587
Andy, uh...
Andy, goodbye.
383
00:20:52,588 --> 00:20:54,022
Goodbye, Mary.
384
00:20:54,023 --> 00:20:55,090
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
385
00:20:55,091 --> 00:20:56,224
Bye.
Go! Go away.
386
00:20:56,225 --> 00:20:57,292
Just a minute, you!
387
00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:58,560
You! You, you...
388
00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:00,228
You put 'em up!
I don't wanna
put 'em up!
389
00:21:00,229 --> 00:21:03,197
Why?
Because I'm chicken,
that's why!
390
00:21:13,910 --> 00:21:15,043
You can't go up there!
391
00:21:15,044 --> 00:21:17,946
It's okay.
I had a sister.
392
00:21:19,315 --> 00:21:22,050
Young man! You may
not come upstairs!
393
00:21:22,051 --> 00:21:23,418
Get outta my way!
Oh!
394
00:21:23,419 --> 00:21:25,922
Young man, I'm going
to call the police!
395
00:21:25,923 --> 00:21:28,124
I'm going to
call the police!
396
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:29,525
Uh, Mary's
in that room.
397
00:21:29,526 --> 00:21:31,093
Oh, you certainly
take the shape
398
00:21:31,094 --> 00:21:33,361
right outta that towel!
399
00:21:57,521 --> 00:21:59,555
Police will
be here soon.
400
00:21:59,556 --> 00:22:01,924
Yeah.
401
00:22:04,728 --> 00:22:09,466
I really like you,
you son-of-a-gun.
402
00:22:10,134 --> 00:22:13,470
Yeah,
I guess you do.
403
00:22:13,471 --> 00:22:16,283
You'll probably be
expelled for this.
404
00:22:16,307 --> 00:22:17,541
I was upset!
405
00:22:17,542 --> 00:22:20,054
My girl got engaged
to a pipe!
406
00:22:20,078 --> 00:22:23,257
Yeah, they'll be
satisfied with that.
407
00:22:23,281 --> 00:22:25,059
Is that your mother
and father?
408
00:22:25,083 --> 00:22:26,483
Yes. They'd hate you.
409
00:22:26,484 --> 00:22:28,585
I know.
410
00:22:30,621 --> 00:22:33,457
What's his name?
Willy.
411
00:22:33,458 --> 00:22:35,325
Do you love him?
412
00:22:35,326 --> 00:22:38,562
Only when it rains.
Otherwise, I throw him
on the floor.
413
00:22:38,563 --> 00:22:39,997
I'm afraid of the rain...
414
00:22:39,998 --> 00:22:44,111
And thunder and lightning
and most everything else.
415
00:22:44,135 --> 00:22:45,670
God, I wish you were sane.
416
00:22:45,671 --> 00:22:49,641
If I was sane,
would I be
in this room?
417
00:22:50,342 --> 00:22:52,110
If we got married,
when it wasn't raining,
418
00:22:52,111 --> 00:22:54,112
would you throw me
on the floor?
419
00:22:54,113 --> 00:22:59,384
No, if we got married,
I'd always be scared.
420
00:22:59,785 --> 00:23:01,652
Are your mother
and father nuts?
421
00:23:01,653 --> 00:23:03,665
No.
422
00:23:03,689 --> 00:23:07,335
They were killed
in a car crash
when I was 12.
423
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,260
Don't say
you're sorry.
424
00:23:09,261 --> 00:23:12,330
Okay, but I am sorry.
425
00:23:12,331 --> 00:23:16,077
What if I told you I was
driving the other car?
426
00:23:16,101 --> 00:23:19,704
I'd say you're
so very sad...
427
00:23:20,706 --> 00:23:23,641
And so very funny.
428
00:23:25,378 --> 00:23:28,213
Which I happen to love.
429
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:32,684
Everybody, I want plenty
of energy tonight.
430
00:23:32,685 --> 00:23:35,387
Remember, I want it
from everybody!
Oh, Schmidt!
431
00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:38,090
Well, I see they
let you out of jail.
How did you like it?
432
00:23:38,091 --> 00:23:40,826
I think it's very
nice that criminals
have a place to go.
433
00:23:40,827 --> 00:23:42,494
Yes, I'm surprised
they didn't expel you.
434
00:23:42,495 --> 00:23:45,964
They don't expel you
for being in love.
435
00:23:54,340 --> 00:23:59,244
My country, I fear,
grows weary of me.
436
00:24:20,101 --> 00:24:22,145
Say the line!
437
00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:24,604
My lord...
438
00:24:24,772 --> 00:24:27,173
Death.
439
00:24:28,709 --> 00:24:31,244
Yes. Death!
440
00:24:31,245 --> 00:24:32,656
Death...
441
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:36,816
Would be an honor.
442
00:24:36,817 --> 00:24:40,230
Look at that, one line!
He's making a production
of one line!
443
00:24:40,254 --> 00:24:44,324
If death...
444
00:24:46,828 --> 00:24:50,630
Were serving you!
445
00:24:57,706 --> 00:25:01,308
Thank God.
He's finished.
446
00:25:14,289 --> 00:25:19,260
I am killed!
447
00:25:25,301 --> 00:25:29,170
Thank you!
448
00:25:33,409 --> 00:25:35,544
Oh.
449
00:25:35,645 --> 00:25:38,346
What a night!
450
00:25:38,648 --> 00:25:42,761
First I kill 'em
at the play,
and now this.
451
00:25:42,785 --> 00:25:44,653
Mmm-mmm-mmm!
452
00:25:44,654 --> 00:25:45,754
Every night I go to bed
453
00:25:45,755 --> 00:25:49,591
and pray that
I won't be in love
with you the next day.
454
00:25:49,592 --> 00:25:50,692
Did you know that?
455
00:25:50,693 --> 00:25:52,494
Sure. God told me.
456
00:25:52,495 --> 00:25:53,862
Forget it.
You're hooked.
457
00:25:53,863 --> 00:25:57,499
Yeah, I guess
we're both in love
with the same person.
458
00:25:57,500 --> 00:25:59,201
Isn't that wonderful?
459
00:25:59,202 --> 00:26:01,703
It's terrific.
460
00:26:01,971 --> 00:26:04,250
Andy?
Hmm?
461
00:26:04,274 --> 00:26:05,241
Have you ever noticed
462
00:26:05,242 --> 00:26:08,621
that you've never said
that you love me?
463
00:26:08,645 --> 00:26:10,980
I came to this
motel with you.
464
00:26:10,981 --> 00:26:13,816
What do you want?
465
00:26:13,817 --> 00:26:15,818
You're not laughing.
466
00:26:15,819 --> 00:26:20,389
Of course I love you,
you old son-of-a-gun!
467
00:26:20,390 --> 00:26:21,924
As much as you
love yourself?
468
00:26:21,925 --> 00:26:25,872
Well, in a different way.
It's apples and oranges.
469
00:26:25,896 --> 00:26:29,465
You don't laugh much
when you're naked, do you?
470
00:26:31,501 --> 00:26:33,536
I feel undressed
when I'm naked.
471
00:26:33,537 --> 00:26:35,705
I see.
472
00:26:38,875 --> 00:26:42,011
Mary, I was great
on stage tonight.
473
00:26:42,012 --> 00:26:44,882
I was, wasn't I?
474
00:26:45,683 --> 00:26:48,495
Yes, you were great.
475
00:26:48,519 --> 00:26:53,724
You almost ruined the play,
but, uh, you were great.
476
00:26:53,725 --> 00:26:56,894
Did you hear that crowd?
477
00:26:56,961 --> 00:26:58,295
That's what
it's all about,
478
00:26:58,296 --> 00:27:00,374
getting that crowd
to love you.
479
00:27:00,398 --> 00:27:02,266
They didn't want to
see that lousy play.
480
00:27:02,267 --> 00:27:03,711
They wanted to laugh.
481
00:27:03,735 --> 00:27:05,469
Mary, I can
make 'em laugh.
482
00:27:05,470 --> 00:27:06,503
I can make 'em laugh!
483
00:27:06,504 --> 00:27:10,240
I can make 'em
do anything I want.
484
00:27:11,009 --> 00:27:13,310
You'll never know
how that feels.
485
00:27:13,311 --> 00:27:16,490
What about the play
you almost ruined?
486
00:27:16,514 --> 00:27:19,316
In a month,
we'll be in New York.
We?
487
00:27:19,317 --> 00:27:21,552
We'll get married, okay?
488
00:27:23,388 --> 00:27:24,489
Okay.
489
00:27:24,490 --> 00:27:26,557
There's Broadway,
movies, television.
490
00:27:26,558 --> 00:27:31,373
I bet I'll be working
two weeks after
we get to New York.
491
00:27:31,397 --> 00:27:34,432
Mary, we'll be great!
492
00:27:37,936 --> 00:27:41,506
Have I told you
I love you?
493
00:27:42,308 --> 00:27:47,345
Oh, God. Why him?
494
00:28:20,547 --> 00:28:21,413
Mary!
495
00:28:21,414 --> 00:28:23,482
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Daddy.
496
00:28:23,483 --> 00:28:26,385
Hi, honey.
Oh, and you
must be Andy.
497
00:28:26,386 --> 00:28:27,453
Mom!
498
00:28:27,454 --> 00:28:28,687
Mom!
499
00:28:28,688 --> 00:28:29,755
May I call you Mom?
500
00:28:29,756 --> 00:28:32,891
Well, uh...
Mom!
501
00:28:33,626 --> 00:28:36,729
And you must be Dad!
502
00:28:36,730 --> 00:28:38,374
Dad!
503
00:28:38,398 --> 00:28:41,867
It's nice to meet you.
You can call me Tom.
504
00:28:41,868 --> 00:28:43,636
Tom and Mom.
505
00:28:43,637 --> 00:28:46,917
I really like that.
I really do!
506
00:28:46,941 --> 00:28:49,542
And you must be
brother, huh? Huh?
507
00:28:49,543 --> 00:28:51,778
Yes, Andy, this is
my brother, Sherman.
508
00:28:51,779 --> 00:28:53,480
Sherman? Really?
Sherman?
509
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:58,362
I had a
hamster named Sherman.
510
00:28:58,386 --> 00:29:00,697
Sherman was my
father's name,
511
00:29:00,721 --> 00:29:01,955
may he rest
in peace.
512
00:29:01,956 --> 00:29:03,056
Oh, of course,
of course.
513
00:29:03,057 --> 00:29:04,858
Death is such
a terrible tragedy.
514
00:29:04,859 --> 00:29:07,694
I mean, my Sherman
died, too.
515
00:29:07,828 --> 00:29:09,863
I don't mean to
compare the two, I...
516
00:29:09,864 --> 00:29:11,798
Uh, well, you were
a little late,
517
00:29:11,799 --> 00:29:14,634
so dinner is ready.
518
00:29:14,769 --> 00:29:20,407
Mom, Tom, let's eat!
What's on?
519
00:29:24,546 --> 00:29:27,658
Let's put our cards
on the table.
520
00:29:27,682 --> 00:29:28,983
You look at me
and you wonder,
521
00:29:28,984 --> 00:29:32,420
what kind of life
is your daughter
gonna lead, hmm?
522
00:29:32,421 --> 00:29:34,488
Yes, that's right.
To be blunt.
523
00:29:34,489 --> 00:29:36,791
Yes. Let's be blunt.
Let's bring it out.
524
00:29:36,792 --> 00:29:37,858
Let's talk about it.
525
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:39,860
Now, you're
worried that Mary
is gonna end up
526
00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:42,763
starving in some
rat-infested garret
in New York.
527
00:29:42,764 --> 00:29:44,198
Or turning to alcohol.
528
00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:46,744
Or possibly prostitution.
529
00:29:46,768 --> 00:29:48,202
Oh, Andy!
Yeah?
530
00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:51,572
We don't even think
things like that!
531
00:29:51,573 --> 00:29:53,140
Mom, you don't have to.
532
00:29:53,141 --> 00:29:55,042
Because your daughter
is marrying a person
533
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:57,711
who is going to take
very good care of her!
534
00:29:57,712 --> 00:30:01,515
I happen to be
wonderfully gifted!
535
00:30:01,516 --> 00:30:02,817
Watch this.
536
00:30:02,818 --> 00:30:05,354
Excuse me.
537
00:30:07,790 --> 00:30:10,702
You dirty, dirty rat.
538
00:30:10,726 --> 00:30:12,661
You've got my sister.
539
00:30:12,662 --> 00:30:14,196
You've got my mother.
540
00:30:14,197 --> 00:30:16,074
That's great!
541
00:30:16,098 --> 00:30:16,865
Wait until I'm
finished, Sherman.
542
00:30:16,866 --> 00:30:20,369
First time the kid talks,
right in the middle
of my act!
543
00:30:20,570 --> 00:30:21,703
Where was I?
544
00:30:21,704 --> 00:30:23,071
"You got my mother."
545
00:30:23,072 --> 00:30:24,917
Thanks.
546
00:30:24,941 --> 00:30:27,075
You got my mother...
547
00:30:27,076 --> 00:30:29,244
But you ain't
gonna get me!
548
00:30:29,245 --> 00:30:30,946
Top of the world, Ma.
549
00:30:30,947 --> 00:30:33,459
Ma, oh!
550
00:30:33,483 --> 00:30:35,616
They got me!
551
00:30:38,254 --> 00:30:41,089
Uh, Andy, uh, could...
If we could just, you know,
552
00:30:41,090 --> 00:30:42,657
please eat now.
553
00:30:42,658 --> 00:30:44,894
You sounded just like him.
554
00:30:44,895 --> 00:30:47,196
Yeah, watch this, Ma.
Watch this!
555
00:30:47,197 --> 00:30:49,732
You're gonna love it!
556
00:30:49,967 --> 00:30:52,712
Those eyes...
557
00:30:52,736 --> 00:30:54,937
They keep winking
and blinking.
558
00:30:54,938 --> 00:30:56,883
Peter Lorre!
559
00:30:56,907 --> 00:30:58,117
Good, Sherman.
560
00:30:58,141 --> 00:31:00,643
Winking and blinking.
561
00:31:00,644 --> 00:31:02,989
I have to kill myself.
562
00:31:03,013 --> 00:31:05,782
That's what I must do.
563
00:31:11,588 --> 00:31:12,655
Oh!
564
00:31:12,656 --> 00:31:15,725
Oh!
Are you crazy?
565
00:31:19,096 --> 00:31:20,229
I'm sorry.
566
00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:22,164
Don't worry about it.
I mean, you know,
567
00:31:22,165 --> 00:31:24,034
it's only
my mother and father.
568
00:31:24,035 --> 00:31:27,081
Are we still
getting married?
569
00:31:27,105 --> 00:31:28,782
We have to.
570
00:31:28,806 --> 00:31:33,043
I'm too embarrassed
to have you as a date.
571
00:32:09,915 --> 00:32:11,560
Closet.
572
00:32:11,584 --> 00:32:13,061
Kitchen.
573
00:32:13,085 --> 00:32:14,796
Bed.
574
00:32:14,820 --> 00:32:16,565
Oh, Mary!
575
00:32:16,589 --> 00:32:18,690
Mary.
576
00:32:19,825 --> 00:32:21,859
This is New York!
We're here!
577
00:32:21,860 --> 00:32:24,362
The, uh...
Window doesn't open.
578
00:32:24,363 --> 00:32:26,197
A lot of people
break it.
579
00:32:26,198 --> 00:32:27,665
This is perfect!
580
00:32:27,666 --> 00:32:31,202
This is where
it'll all start!
581
00:32:33,272 --> 00:32:35,340
Andy Schmidt's
my name.
582
00:32:35,341 --> 00:32:38,710
Oh? My name is,
uh, Dominic Manza.
583
00:32:38,711 --> 00:32:40,044
Uh, the reason he
told you his name
584
00:32:40,045 --> 00:32:43,315
is 'cause he's gonna be
a big star in this town.
585
00:32:43,316 --> 00:32:44,717
I'm pleased.
586
00:32:44,718 --> 00:32:46,819
And the bathroom's
down the hall.
587
00:32:46,820 --> 00:32:49,088
You'll be sharing it
with 5 other stars.
588
00:32:49,089 --> 00:32:52,257
Great. Dom,
thank you.
589
00:32:52,258 --> 00:32:56,005
Why don't you go buy
yourself a cigar?
590
00:32:56,029 --> 00:32:57,696
Bye-bye.
591
00:32:57,697 --> 00:32:58,864
Times Square,
Sardi's, Lindy's...
592
00:32:58,865 --> 00:33:01,934
We're close to all of 'em!
Oh! Is this my town?
593
00:33:01,935 --> 00:33:03,736
Is this my town?
594
00:33:03,737 --> 00:33:05,270
Do I love it?
I love it!
595
00:33:05,271 --> 00:33:07,039
I love New York!
Me, too.
596
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,708
Oh, me, too!
597
00:33:10,176 --> 00:33:12,411
I know that
you're scared now,
598
00:33:12,412 --> 00:33:14,079
but just wait.
599
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:15,414
Trust me?
Yeah.
600
00:33:15,415 --> 00:33:16,649
Yeah.
601
00:33:16,650 --> 00:33:20,152
Let's eat in
New York, huh?
602
00:33:20,654 --> 00:33:22,822
Oh, my God!
It's Sardi's!
603
00:33:22,823 --> 00:33:27,037
No, no, Sardi's!
All the great actors
eat in Sardi's!
604
00:33:27,061 --> 00:33:30,730
It looks very
expensive, Andy.
605
00:33:31,232 --> 00:33:34,077
We should
definitely eat there.
606
00:33:34,101 --> 00:33:35,301
Hold it!
607
00:33:35,302 --> 00:33:38,672
Hold it.
608
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,088
The captain will
take your order, sir.
609
00:33:55,089 --> 00:33:58,792
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
610
00:33:59,260 --> 00:34:01,361
Jack!
611
00:34:02,230 --> 00:34:03,397
Hi, Martin.
612
00:34:03,398 --> 00:34:06,377
Did you know that
Jack is here?
613
00:34:06,401 --> 00:34:09,103
What're you doing?
Susie, love ya.
614
00:34:09,104 --> 00:34:10,838
You don't know anyone.
615
00:34:10,839 --> 00:34:12,306
They don't know that.
616
00:34:12,307 --> 00:34:15,309
Hi, Mildred.
617
00:34:15,377 --> 00:34:19,714
Andy, um, why don't
we just order, uh,
618
00:34:19,715 --> 00:34:20,881
a piece of cake
and some coffee?
619
00:34:20,882 --> 00:34:23,317
I mean, we only have
$600 to our name.
620
00:34:23,318 --> 00:34:24,819
Do you know
that we are sitting
621
00:34:24,820 --> 00:34:28,222
right under
Eddie Cantor's picture?
622
00:34:29,458 --> 00:34:31,792
Someday...
I know.
623
00:34:31,793 --> 00:34:32,927
And some kid
from Ohio
624
00:34:32,928 --> 00:34:35,062
will be sitting
right here.
625
00:34:35,063 --> 00:34:37,298
I know.
626
00:34:39,768 --> 00:34:42,971
You know,
all those years
627
00:34:42,972 --> 00:34:45,417
when I daydreamed
by myself?
628
00:34:45,441 --> 00:34:47,453
It's so much better
with you.
629
00:34:47,477 --> 00:34:49,722
Thank you.
630
00:34:49,746 --> 00:34:52,114
'Cause now, when I
stop daydreaming,
631
00:34:52,115 --> 00:34:54,983
I'm not by myself.
632
00:34:55,918 --> 00:34:57,252
Oh, we're terrific!
633
00:34:57,253 --> 00:34:59,821
My problems are
your problems now.
634
00:34:59,822 --> 00:35:02,167
I love that!
635
00:35:02,191 --> 00:35:04,092
What about my problems?
636
00:35:04,093 --> 00:35:07,129
Oh, for the first
20 years, we'll do
my problems.
637
00:35:07,130 --> 00:35:08,997
I have to go
to the bathroom.
638
00:35:08,998 --> 00:35:10,432
Remember that.
639
00:35:10,433 --> 00:35:14,202
First time I peed
in New York City
was at Sardi's.
640
00:35:14,203 --> 00:35:17,072
That's great
for the biography.
641
00:35:18,508 --> 00:35:23,146
Very good to
see you again!
Yes, indeed. Ha!
642
00:35:29,987 --> 00:35:31,898
Hello?
643
00:35:31,922 --> 00:35:36,292
Mom, I told you
not to call me here!
644
00:35:36,927 --> 00:35:39,038
Mom, I'm fine!
645
00:35:39,062 --> 00:35:41,130
I want you to
stop saying that.
646
00:35:41,131 --> 00:35:42,865
Uh, Mrs. Schmidt?
647
00:35:42,866 --> 00:35:44,267
Is that
a personal call?
648
00:35:44,268 --> 00:35:47,303
Oh, no. No, it isn't.
649
00:35:47,905 --> 00:35:52,075
Mom, I can't talk now.
650
00:35:52,876 --> 00:35:57,914
Six months is nothing
to get a job as an actor!
651
00:35:59,082 --> 00:36:03,187
No! Andy never
gets discouraged.
652
00:36:04,088 --> 00:36:07,034
Mom, stop crying!
653
00:36:07,058 --> 00:36:09,526
Mom,
please stop crying!
654
00:36:09,527 --> 00:36:12,072
I'm very happy!
655
00:36:12,096 --> 00:36:13,096
Aw, Mom!
656
00:36:13,097 --> 00:36:16,500
Um, Mrs. Schmidt,
is that a personal call?
657
00:36:16,501 --> 00:36:21,004
No. Could I...could I
just have some privacy?
658
00:36:21,139 --> 00:36:23,540
The woman's crying.
To me, that's personal.
659
00:36:23,541 --> 00:36:29,012
Mom, please, don't worry.
We're fine!
660
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,449
I love him, you know?
661
00:36:34,552 --> 00:36:37,755
Are you asleep?
662
00:36:38,523 --> 00:36:40,267
No.
663
00:36:40,291 --> 00:36:43,762
You sure?
I'm positive.
664
00:36:47,066 --> 00:36:49,311
I wouldn't dream this.
665
00:36:49,335 --> 00:36:52,470
Yeah. Isn't it great?
666
00:36:52,471 --> 00:36:54,072
We're young,
we're starving,
667
00:36:54,073 --> 00:36:56,351
we're living in filth.
668
00:36:56,375 --> 00:36:58,243
I never read about
anyone that made it
669
00:36:58,244 --> 00:37:00,979
that didn't have
this first.
670
00:37:01,413 --> 00:37:04,115
It's very nice.
671
00:37:04,884 --> 00:37:08,153
How long does it
usually last?
672
00:37:11,557 --> 00:37:14,125
You're scared, huh?
673
00:37:15,961 --> 00:37:18,163
Who, me?
674
00:37:22,402 --> 00:37:24,537
Yeah.
675
00:37:25,272 --> 00:37:27,506
How come you
never get scared?
676
00:37:27,507 --> 00:37:31,487
I see that I'm so
close to so many jobs.
677
00:37:31,511 --> 00:37:33,512
It's just
a matter of days.
678
00:37:33,513 --> 00:37:35,815
Oh.
679
00:37:39,119 --> 00:37:42,021
What are you scared of?
680
00:37:43,290 --> 00:37:46,192
That I'll lose you.
681
00:37:47,127 --> 00:37:49,261
Never.
682
00:37:50,397 --> 00:37:53,165
But never!
683
00:37:53,199 --> 00:37:55,267
Hmm?
684
00:38:02,176 --> 00:38:05,579
I'm also scared that
I'll stay with you.
685
00:38:07,982 --> 00:38:10,617
And I'm pregnant.
686
00:38:11,319 --> 00:38:14,354
With a kid?
Yep.
687
00:38:15,156 --> 00:38:17,390
Oh, my God!
688
00:38:17,992 --> 00:38:18,692
Does it hurt?
689
00:38:18,693 --> 00:38:22,429
Well, you want me to
get you a chair?
A glass of water?
690
00:38:22,430 --> 00:38:23,663
Andy?
Yeah?
691
00:38:23,664 --> 00:38:25,465
Listen. I mean,
it's gonna be
692
00:38:25,466 --> 00:38:29,970
the most normal thing that
you and I've ever done.
693
00:38:34,108 --> 00:38:36,276
Hello.
694
00:38:42,417 --> 00:38:44,452
- May I help you?
- Buongiorno.
695
00:38:44,453 --> 00:38:45,653
I am Roberto Capellini.
696
00:38:45,654 --> 00:38:48,255
I've come here to
see Michael Schuyler,
you know?
697
00:38:48,256 --> 00:38:49,757
Now we must do it
very rapidly, please,
698
00:38:49,758 --> 00:38:51,726
because I must
take a plane to Roma.
699
00:38:51,727 --> 00:38:52,760
Subito! Subito.
Ah, yes.
700
00:38:52,761 --> 00:38:56,063
Mr. Capellini, do you
have an appointment?
701
00:38:56,064 --> 00:38:58,566
How dare you?
I bite my thumb at you!
702
00:38:58,567 --> 00:38:59,533
Now, please, I have
no time for this.
703
00:38:59,534 --> 00:39:00,768
You buzz the buzzer,
I go into the room.
704
00:39:00,769 --> 00:39:04,972
Here I go.
Okay. Uh, yes, wait just
a moment, please.
705
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,010
Lucy, is Mr. Schuyler
expecting a Mr. Capellini?
706
00:39:09,011 --> 00:39:12,113
No one expects me!
707
00:39:12,114 --> 00:39:13,247
When I walk
into their office,
708
00:39:13,248 --> 00:39:15,416
how do they say
in your country,
709
00:39:15,417 --> 00:39:18,386
they are overjoyed!
710
00:39:20,522 --> 00:39:22,424
I'm very sorry.
He's in a meeting.
711
00:39:22,425 --> 00:39:25,694
He will not see the great
Roberto Capellini?
712
00:39:25,695 --> 00:39:26,628
Then will he see
713
00:39:26,629 --> 00:39:27,696
Andy Schmidt?
714
00:39:27,697 --> 00:39:30,332
The one and only?
715
00:39:30,333 --> 00:39:32,234
Funny, huh?
716
00:39:32,235 --> 00:39:34,703
Look, I'm a very
talented actor!
717
00:39:34,704 --> 00:39:37,439
Except that
I'm starving!
718
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,573
My pants don't
fit anymore!
719
00:39:38,574 --> 00:39:41,743
I call Michael Schuyler
about 20 times a day.
720
00:39:41,744 --> 00:39:44,223
He's always
in a meeting!
721
00:39:44,247 --> 00:39:46,525
Look, I'll see
what I can do.
722
00:39:46,549 --> 00:39:47,682
Yes!
723
00:39:47,683 --> 00:39:50,385
Thanks!
724
00:39:54,157 --> 00:39:56,224
His secretary's
away from her desk.
725
00:39:56,225 --> 00:39:57,192
I'll wait.
726
00:39:57,193 --> 00:39:59,094
Hi, Doris.
Hi, Milton.
727
00:39:59,095 --> 00:40:01,364
I'd like to see
Mike Schuyler, please.
728
00:40:01,365 --> 00:40:03,466
I take it
you're in radio.
729
00:40:03,467 --> 00:40:04,734
Tell him
where I hit.
730
00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:06,269
Don't mess with him.
731
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:08,738
Milton, you need
an appointment.
732
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:12,608
You know I'd do
anything I could for you.
733
00:40:13,310 --> 00:40:14,544
You feel anything?
734
00:40:14,545 --> 00:40:17,113
Oh, you actors!
735
00:40:17,114 --> 00:40:19,615
I have a coffee table
at home that isn't
dating anyone.
736
00:40:19,616 --> 00:40:20,716
You're getting
me steamed!
737
00:40:20,717 --> 00:40:22,318
Let me try
Mr. Schuyler's
office again.
738
00:40:22,319 --> 00:40:26,356
Yeah, and remember
who came here first.
739
00:40:26,356 --> 00:40:28,524
You know, you're
the spitting image
of my cousin.
740
00:40:28,525 --> 00:40:30,336
He's almost
toilet trained.
741
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,396
Mr. Schuyler can't see
either of you today.
742
00:40:33,397 --> 00:40:35,531
Thanks a lot.
743
00:40:37,668 --> 00:40:40,504
Hey! You want
a cup of coffee?
744
00:40:40,505 --> 00:40:42,683
Who's talking?
745
00:40:42,707 --> 00:40:43,474
Oh.
746
00:40:43,475 --> 00:40:45,542
We get to know
each other.
747
00:40:45,543 --> 00:40:47,778
You're funny.
748
00:40:49,681 --> 00:40:51,715
I'm sorry about
the short jokes.
749
00:40:51,716 --> 00:40:52,549
Thank you.
750
00:40:52,550 --> 00:40:54,384
I'm very sensitive,
actually.
751
00:40:54,385 --> 00:40:57,131
There is a lot more to me
than being a midget.
752
00:40:57,155 --> 00:41:00,234
Where is it?
I'm sorry, uh,
753
00:41:00,258 --> 00:41:03,794
let's have that cup
of coffee, Milton.
754
00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:05,596
I'm on to some
very big things.
755
00:41:05,597 --> 00:41:08,242
Josh Logan,
called me up.
756
00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:09,500
Uh, Kazan likes me
very much.
757
00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:12,179
It's all gonna happen
in a matter of days.
758
00:41:12,203 --> 00:41:15,739
My career is in
the shithouse, too.
759
00:41:16,875 --> 00:41:18,886
You're very perceptive.
760
00:41:18,910 --> 00:41:21,146
I'm a very good actor.
All I need is a break.
761
00:41:21,147 --> 00:41:24,893
Well, maybe someday
they'll do "Death of
a Short Salesman".
762
00:41:24,917 --> 00:41:26,351
Don't get sensitive.
763
00:41:26,352 --> 00:41:27,285
I'm starving, too.
764
00:41:27,286 --> 00:41:29,454
You have to be crazy
to be in this business!
765
00:41:29,455 --> 00:41:30,622
Do you know,
sometimes I think,
766
00:41:30,623 --> 00:41:33,491
why do I have to be
so talented?
767
00:41:33,492 --> 00:41:34,926
You?
I always think that.
768
00:41:34,927 --> 00:41:36,661
I mean, why couldn't
I be a barber, huh?
769
00:41:36,662 --> 00:41:37,762
Why couldn't I be
a dentist?
770
00:41:37,763 --> 00:41:39,931
No, I've gotta be
incredibly gifted!
771
00:41:39,932 --> 00:41:41,376
It's a curse!
772
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:42,534
You? What about me?
773
00:41:42,535 --> 00:41:43,801
You think my wife
wants this?
774
00:41:43,802 --> 00:41:44,802
Do you know
what it's like
775
00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:48,350
to love a woman and
hurt her every day?
776
00:41:48,374 --> 00:41:50,608
Oh, sure, I've got
a million of them.
777
00:41:50,609 --> 00:41:54,523
She is so great!
778
00:41:54,547 --> 00:41:55,680
They're all great.
779
00:41:55,681 --> 00:41:57,248
This one's greater.
780
00:41:57,249 --> 00:41:59,885
She laughs
at the right times.
You know what I mean?
781
00:41:59,886 --> 00:42:01,854
And I have her
living in some
crappy hotel room.
782
00:42:01,855 --> 00:42:05,268
It's not fair.
I'm the one who
can't get a job.
783
00:42:05,292 --> 00:42:07,170
Life is shit!
784
00:42:07,194 --> 00:42:08,471
Hmm.
785
00:42:08,495 --> 00:42:10,796
Want another cup
of coffee? Hmm?
786
00:42:10,797 --> 00:42:13,609
No. I've gotta
go soon.
787
00:42:13,633 --> 00:42:16,268
Where?
In the middle of
the afternoon?
788
00:42:16,269 --> 00:42:18,314
You got a girl?
789
00:42:18,338 --> 00:42:20,372
No, not until 5:00,
790
00:42:20,373 --> 00:42:22,274
and then,
possibly at 8:00.
791
00:42:22,275 --> 00:42:25,544
I get laid an amazing
amount of times.
792
00:42:26,279 --> 00:42:26,580
An audition.
793
00:42:26,581 --> 00:42:31,327
Milton, if there's work,
if it's a part,
I can play short.
794
00:42:31,351 --> 00:42:32,918
I gotta see a guy
about wrestling.
795
00:42:32,919 --> 00:42:35,754
I wrestle sometimes.
796
00:42:36,356 --> 00:42:38,334
You wrestle?
797
00:42:38,358 --> 00:42:40,637
Really?
I'm a novelty.
798
00:42:40,661 --> 00:42:43,230
God, what people won't
do in this business.
799
00:42:43,231 --> 00:42:44,431
It's not so bad.
800
00:42:44,432 --> 00:42:45,832
You make
a couple of bucks.
801
00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:49,402
You get to dress up
in all kind of
crazy costume.
802
00:42:49,403 --> 00:42:51,805
The crowds go nuts.
803
00:42:52,006 --> 00:42:54,241
You get to dress up
in crazy costumes
804
00:42:54,242 --> 00:42:56,420
and the crowd goes nuts?
805
00:42:56,444 --> 00:42:57,944
Forget it.
You're too little.
806
00:42:57,945 --> 00:43:00,313
How does that feel?
807
00:43:02,783 --> 00:43:04,851
Hello, Milton.
Who are you?
808
00:43:04,852 --> 00:43:06,353
Andy...
I'm thrilled!
809
00:43:06,354 --> 00:43:07,954
What do you want,
Milton? I'm busy.
810
00:43:07,955 --> 00:43:09,489
Sidney, I just
passed by to see...
811
00:43:09,490 --> 00:43:13,293
Look, jerk, I told you
I'd call you if
I got you a match!
812
00:43:13,294 --> 00:43:14,461
Why is it every time
I look at you
813
00:43:14,462 --> 00:43:16,263
I want a
shrimp cocktail?
814
00:43:16,264 --> 00:43:18,875
No offense. Go stand
in the wastebasket.
815
00:43:18,899 --> 00:43:21,569
Who are you?
A non-talking schmuck
walks in with a midget!
816
00:43:21,570 --> 00:43:24,872
Andy Schmidt, I...
Who cares?
You're too little!
817
00:43:24,873 --> 00:43:26,807
We got ushers
bigger than you!
818
00:43:26,808 --> 00:43:29,587
Leave.
I gotta take a crap.
819
00:43:29,611 --> 00:43:32,690
Ah, actually,
I'm an actor.
I can do anything.
820
00:43:32,714 --> 00:43:34,626
Can you walk
outta here?
821
00:43:34,650 --> 00:43:37,952
You know, you're not
a bad-lookin' kid.
You a fagala?
822
00:43:37,953 --> 00:43:38,719
Uh, no.
823
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:40,554
I gotta kid at home,
you mention fagalas,
824
00:43:40,555 --> 00:43:42,390
a real fruitcake,
this kid.
825
00:43:42,391 --> 00:43:43,824
We wanted a boy,
we came close.
826
00:43:43,825 --> 00:43:47,438
I love him like
a daughter, this kid.
827
00:43:47,462 --> 00:43:49,440
So you wanna
wrestle, huh?
828
00:43:49,464 --> 00:43:50,998
Sidney, he could
be fantastic!
829
00:43:50,999 --> 00:43:53,801
He's funny.
Look at this!
Sneezy has an opinion!
830
00:43:53,802 --> 00:43:56,404
Milton, when I wanna
hear from you,
I'll look down, huh?
831
00:43:56,405 --> 00:43:59,485
You could mail him
to St. Louis
for under a dollar.
832
00:43:59,509 --> 00:44:00,676
You got
a nice face, kid.
833
00:44:00,677 --> 00:44:02,044
Grandmother's like
a nice face.
834
00:44:02,045 --> 00:44:04,456
I'm sorry
about your body.
835
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:05,547
Milton, hit me
in the stomach.
836
00:44:05,548 --> 00:44:06,448
That's not where
he hits.
837
00:44:06,449 --> 00:44:07,949
Watch this.
I wanna show you something.
838
00:44:07,950 --> 00:44:09,984
Hit me. Come on.
839
00:44:12,722 --> 00:44:14,433
Oh!
840
00:44:14,457 --> 00:44:16,925
You see what
a good actor can
do with pain?
841
00:44:16,926 --> 00:44:19,305
So far you're doing
constipation.
842
00:44:19,329 --> 00:44:22,007
I'll say this for ya,
you're crazy enough.
843
00:44:22,031 --> 00:44:24,666
He could be like David
fighting Goliath!
844
00:44:24,667 --> 00:44:26,812
Great idea, Milton!
845
00:44:26,836 --> 00:44:28,337
Why don't you take
three months off
846
00:44:28,338 --> 00:44:30,482
and change
a light bulb?
847
00:44:30,506 --> 00:44:32,974
I been doing
David and Goliath
for 20 years!
848
00:44:32,975 --> 00:44:35,077
I'm up to my ass
in slingshots.
849
00:44:35,078 --> 00:44:36,812
Maybe I'll think
of something for you.
850
00:44:36,813 --> 00:44:38,957
You're not
a bad-lookin' kid.
851
00:44:38,981 --> 00:44:40,717
Have you ever
wrestled before? Lie.
852
00:44:40,718 --> 00:44:43,453
Yes, uh,
in college intramural.
That's enough!
853
00:44:43,454 --> 00:44:44,554
I could teach him.
854
00:44:44,555 --> 00:44:45,421
You do that, Milton.
855
00:44:45,422 --> 00:44:48,368
Are you still getting laid
six times a day?
856
00:44:48,392 --> 00:44:48,925
I do my best.
857
00:44:48,926 --> 00:44:51,594
If his legs were as
big as his schlong,
858
00:44:51,595 --> 00:44:52,962
he'd be playing
basketball.
859
00:44:52,963 --> 00:44:55,932
Leave me your number,
Schmidt, I'll call you.
860
00:44:55,933 --> 00:44:58,101
Uh, yeah, yes! Yes.
861
00:44:58,102 --> 00:44:59,936
You sure you're
not a fagala?
862
00:44:59,937 --> 00:45:00,970
I, I'm pos...
I'm sure.
863
00:45:00,971 --> 00:45:02,872
My son,
talk about fruits,
864
00:45:02,873 --> 00:45:07,377
I bought him a football,
and he decorated it.
865
00:45:09,813 --> 00:45:11,591
Get outta my office!
866
00:45:11,615 --> 00:45:15,562
32, 33...
867
00:45:15,586 --> 00:45:18,921
What is this sudden
interest in exercising?
868
00:45:18,922 --> 00:45:23,037
You can never be
in too good a shape
for the theater.
869
00:45:23,061 --> 00:45:28,943
39, 40, 41, 47...
870
00:45:28,967 --> 00:45:31,735
Hell with it, that's 50.
871
00:45:33,872 --> 00:45:38,142
Oh, I hope the baby
looks like me.
872
00:45:38,143 --> 00:45:40,511
No offense.
873
00:45:42,814 --> 00:45:43,881
Andy?
Hmm?
874
00:45:43,882 --> 00:45:46,160
Um, I've got something
to tell you.
875
00:45:46,184 --> 00:45:47,184
Yeah?
876
00:45:47,185 --> 00:45:51,098
I um, I spoke
to my father today,
877
00:45:51,122 --> 00:45:52,823
and, uh, well...
878
00:45:52,824 --> 00:45:55,759
Mary, I can't
see my body.
879
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,429
Oh.
Thanks.
880
00:45:58,596 --> 00:46:02,511
I spoke to my father,
and I asked him to, um,
881
00:46:02,535 --> 00:46:03,968
to send us a little money,
you know, just to...
882
00:46:03,969 --> 00:46:05,637
Why'd you do that?
To tide us over!
883
00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:07,105
That makes me furious!
884
00:46:07,106 --> 00:46:11,009
Could I see your
furious look, please?
885
00:46:11,177 --> 00:46:13,645
You don't think I can
support this family!
886
00:46:13,646 --> 00:46:16,414
Of course I do.
887
00:46:16,515 --> 00:46:18,894
It's just that, um,
888
00:46:18,918 --> 00:46:20,452
it's just that,
you...you know,
889
00:46:20,453 --> 00:46:21,219
you never make
any money.
890
00:46:21,220 --> 00:46:24,689
I mean, I used
to give money
to families like us.
891
00:46:24,690 --> 00:46:26,601
Very funny.
892
00:46:26,625 --> 00:46:28,226
Oh, Andy, look,
I'm sorry!
893
00:46:28,227 --> 00:46:29,727
I know we're gonna
have lots of money.
894
00:46:29,728 --> 00:46:33,031
It's just with the baby
coming and everything.
895
00:46:33,032 --> 00:46:34,499
I was going
to surprise you.
896
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:37,946
You see, I've taken
a part-time job.
897
00:46:37,970 --> 00:46:41,974
What kind of job?
898
00:46:42,676 --> 00:46:46,946
A very famous photographer
asked me to assist him.
899
00:46:46,947 --> 00:46:48,147
Oh, well,
won't that interfere with,
900
00:46:48,148 --> 00:46:51,116
you know,
your interviewing
for acting jobs?
901
00:46:51,117 --> 00:46:52,852
No, uh,
he needs me at night...
902
00:46:52,853 --> 00:46:54,687
Once, twice a week,
tops.
903
00:46:54,688 --> 00:46:56,722
All right!
All right!
904
00:46:56,723 --> 00:46:58,791
Ow! Ow!
905
00:46:59,125 --> 00:47:01,427
Okay, again.
906
00:47:27,955 --> 00:47:28,922
Pain.
907
00:47:28,923 --> 00:47:30,701
Pain. I got that.
Pain.
908
00:47:30,725 --> 00:47:33,203
Go for big pain.
909
00:47:33,227 --> 00:47:35,629
Don't do anything
against the rules.
910
00:47:35,630 --> 00:47:38,632
That's what he does.
911
00:47:44,138 --> 00:47:46,617
Uh, Indian Joe?
912
00:47:46,641 --> 00:47:48,208
Hi. Uh, Andy.
913
00:47:48,209 --> 00:47:51,044
I... I'm gonna wrestle
against you.
914
00:47:52,980 --> 00:47:54,281
What the hell
is that?
915
00:47:54,282 --> 00:47:56,216
He's a real Indian!
916
00:47:56,217 --> 00:47:59,219
He does not like
white people.
917
00:47:59,721 --> 00:48:02,156
He knows not to
really hurt me,
doesn't he?
918
00:48:02,157 --> 00:48:05,159
Don't worry.
Nobody gets hurt.
919
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,238
Just remember, pain!
920
00:48:07,262 --> 00:48:08,663
Pain.
921
00:48:08,664 --> 00:48:10,141
Where's the Indian?
922
00:48:10,165 --> 00:48:12,099
If that son of a bitch
didn't show up...
923
00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:13,701
He's in the john.
924
00:48:13,702 --> 00:48:15,914
Why can't he piss
before he gets here?
925
00:48:15,938 --> 00:48:18,016
Schmidt! You okay?
926
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:19,006
Pain.
927
00:48:19,007 --> 00:48:19,707
You look great!
928
00:48:19,708 --> 00:48:23,621
Are you kidding?
There is a building
in there taking a leak!
929
00:48:23,645 --> 00:48:25,279
Now, listen, Schmidt.
930
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,682
You're good.
He's bad.
931
00:48:27,683 --> 00:48:29,984
You're an actor.
You act.
932
00:48:29,985 --> 00:48:31,719
Act good. Okay?
933
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:32,620
Okay.
934
00:48:32,621 --> 00:48:33,888
Listen, uh, let me
ask you a question.
935
00:48:33,889 --> 00:48:37,058
He knows not to really
hurt me, doesn't he?
936
00:48:37,059 --> 00:48:38,293
Don't worry!
937
00:48:38,294 --> 00:48:42,030
It's easier to do pain
if you have some!
938
00:48:42,699 --> 00:48:43,899
How's the kid, Joe?
939
00:48:43,900 --> 00:48:44,900
Great!
940
00:48:44,901 --> 00:48:46,635
Okay, boys, five minutes.
941
00:48:46,636 --> 00:48:47,869
Sir?
942
00:48:47,870 --> 00:48:50,705
This is my first bout.
943
00:48:52,375 --> 00:48:56,878
Um, my wife is,
is having a baby.
944
00:48:56,879 --> 00:48:59,325
I'm glad
you understand.
945
00:48:59,349 --> 00:49:01,717
Geez!
946
00:49:17,333 --> 00:49:19,402
Ladies and gentlemen,
947
00:49:19,403 --> 00:49:21,381
two out of three falls.
948
00:49:21,405 --> 00:49:23,373
In this corner,
a man who comes to us
949
00:49:23,374 --> 00:49:25,775
from the Cherokee
tribe of Indians!
950
00:49:25,776 --> 00:49:30,012
A dirty fighter,
Indian Joe!
951
00:49:37,187 --> 00:49:39,322
Holy shit,
that guy's an animal!
952
00:49:39,323 --> 00:49:40,823
And in this corner,
953
00:49:40,824 --> 00:49:43,292
a man who
personally annihilated
954
00:49:43,293 --> 00:49:46,796
an entire Nazi regiment
during the war.
955
00:49:46,797 --> 00:49:49,332
A great American kid.
956
00:49:49,333 --> 00:49:52,301
An all-around war hero.
957
00:49:52,302 --> 00:49:56,138
Captain Andy Smith!
958
00:50:01,379 --> 00:50:02,923
Places!
959
00:50:02,947 --> 00:50:04,992
Sir?
960
00:50:05,016 --> 00:50:06,984
I don't wanna see
anything dirty.
961
00:50:06,985 --> 00:50:11,288
No instruments.
Don't start putting
anything in his eye.
962
00:50:11,289 --> 00:50:13,357
Okay, I wanna search
you two fellows.
963
00:50:13,358 --> 00:50:16,126
Open your robe.
964
00:50:26,304 --> 00:50:29,606
See? Just what I mean!
965
00:50:31,176 --> 00:50:33,788
Come back!
966
00:50:33,812 --> 00:50:36,747
Okay, back to your corners,
take your robes off,
967
00:50:36,748 --> 00:50:39,016
and come out wrestling.
968
00:51:18,125 --> 00:51:19,525
Ow! Ow!
969
00:51:19,526 --> 00:51:22,261
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!
970
00:51:22,362 --> 00:51:26,832
Ow! Ow! Ow!
That hurts! That hurts!
971
00:51:32,806 --> 00:51:34,273
Does he know this
is just for fun?
972
00:51:34,274 --> 00:51:37,276
Indian Joe has
a lot of pride.
973
00:51:37,444 --> 00:51:39,945
Aah!
974
00:51:42,949 --> 00:51:45,050
Aah! He's biting me!
975
00:51:45,051 --> 00:51:46,896
He's biting me!
976
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,388
Good pain.
977
00:51:58,166 --> 00:52:00,300
Ohh!
978
00:53:27,457 --> 00:53:28,390
Ohh.
979
00:53:28,391 --> 00:53:29,958
Is that you, Andy?
980
00:53:29,959 --> 00:53:32,127
Hi!
981
00:53:33,062 --> 00:53:36,398
How was the
photography?
982
00:53:39,135 --> 00:53:41,247
It's tough.
983
00:53:41,271 --> 00:53:43,472
Whew!
984
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:45,407
I missed you.
985
00:53:45,408 --> 00:53:46,642
Yeah?
986
00:53:46,643 --> 00:53:48,554
Go to sleep,
sweetheart.
987
00:53:48,578 --> 00:53:51,257
Rub my back, will you?
988
00:53:51,281 --> 00:53:55,517
Oh, I'm so tired.
989
00:54:01,292 --> 00:54:03,503
Oh, my God!
990
00:54:03,527 --> 00:54:04,594
Oh, my God!
991
00:54:04,595 --> 00:54:06,573
Don't touch me!
992
00:54:06,597 --> 00:54:09,576
Andy, were you
hit by a car?
993
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,478
No, by an Indian.
994
00:54:11,502 --> 00:54:15,181
I'll explain the
whole thing tomorrow.
995
00:54:15,205 --> 00:54:17,106
You're gonna
explain tomorrow
996
00:54:17,107 --> 00:54:18,374
that you were
beaten by an Indian?
997
00:54:18,375 --> 00:54:19,943
No, thanks.
You'll tell me now.
998
00:54:19,944 --> 00:54:21,444
I mean, should you
be in a hospital?
999
00:54:21,445 --> 00:54:23,179
The hospital
released me.
1000
00:54:23,180 --> 00:54:25,415
See, it... It's not
as bad as it looks.
1001
00:54:25,416 --> 00:54:28,028
Just forget you saw me.
1002
00:54:28,052 --> 00:54:31,187
Andy, tell me
what happened.
1003
00:54:31,255 --> 00:54:33,423
Oh, please, tomorrow.
1004
00:54:33,424 --> 00:54:34,257
I'll hug you!
1005
00:54:34,258 --> 00:54:36,092
I'll talk! I'll talk.
I'm talking.
1006
00:54:36,093 --> 00:54:39,730
Uh, Mr. Schmidt,
you can, uh,
read the priest.
1007
00:54:39,731 --> 00:54:42,633
Agatha,
you read Christy.
1008
00:54:43,568 --> 00:54:44,601
Knock, knock, knock.
1009
00:54:44,602 --> 00:54:47,271
We understand that
there's no door
there, Mr. Schmidt.
1010
00:54:47,272 --> 00:54:50,174
Oh, there is
to me, sir.
I'm an actor.
1011
00:54:50,175 --> 00:54:53,387
As a matter of fact,
it needs a paint job.
1012
00:54:53,411 --> 00:54:56,357
Would you read already?
1013
00:54:56,381 --> 00:55:00,150
Father, I must speak
to you about my husband.
1014
00:55:00,151 --> 00:55:02,486
I know I shouldn't,
but I must!
1015
00:55:02,487 --> 00:55:05,222
"Yes, my child,
I will try to help."
1016
00:55:05,223 --> 00:55:09,293
But understand,
this is no spiritual
first aid station.
1017
00:55:09,294 --> 00:55:10,227
I know that you...
1018
00:55:10,228 --> 00:55:12,373
Spiritual
first aid station?
1019
00:55:12,397 --> 00:55:13,597
That's not in the script.
1020
00:55:13,598 --> 00:55:16,434
No, it is not,
but I see this man
as a street priest.
1021
00:55:16,435 --> 00:55:19,571
You know what I mean?
I say, let's let him live!
1022
00:55:19,572 --> 00:55:21,306
I think that
I can make him
1023
00:55:21,307 --> 00:55:23,641
into a man
and a priest.
1024
00:55:23,642 --> 00:55:25,744
As a matter of fact,
in the third act,
1025
00:55:25,745 --> 00:55:27,579
I think he should
start to drink,
1026
00:55:27,580 --> 00:55:29,247
perhaps slug a bishop.
1027
00:55:29,248 --> 00:55:32,150
I think we should go
all the way with this!
1028
00:55:32,151 --> 00:55:34,586
The author is
sitting right here.
1029
00:55:34,587 --> 00:55:37,389
He doesn't feel that way.
1030
00:55:37,757 --> 00:55:39,557
I love
your play, sir.
1031
00:55:39,558 --> 00:55:42,260
Very good work.
Very, very nice.
1032
00:55:42,261 --> 00:55:45,764
But, uh,
even Shakespeare
had to rewrite.
1033
00:55:45,765 --> 00:55:47,665
Thank you.
Get off the stage.
1034
00:55:47,666 --> 00:55:49,067
I could be wrong!
1035
00:55:49,068 --> 00:55:50,402
That's all, Schmidt.
1036
00:55:50,403 --> 00:55:52,103
Agatha, we'll call you.
1037
00:55:52,104 --> 00:55:53,405
Do you have
my number?
1038
00:55:53,406 --> 00:55:57,142
Oh, yes, Schmidt,
we have your number.
1039
00:55:57,244 --> 00:55:59,512
Hi.
1040
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:02,581
Sidney, I need help.
1041
00:56:02,582 --> 00:56:03,416
You need help?
1042
00:56:03,417 --> 00:56:06,585
There's not a rest room
in the country
that'll accept my son.
1043
00:56:06,586 --> 00:56:09,655
Yeah, um...
I need money.
1044
00:56:09,656 --> 00:56:11,534
My wife is pregnant.
1045
00:56:11,558 --> 00:56:15,394
Boy or girl, I got
hand-me-downs for you.
1046
00:56:17,831 --> 00:56:20,510
I have to wrestle again.
1047
00:56:20,534 --> 00:56:24,070
Twenty bucks,
just like before.
1048
00:56:24,337 --> 00:56:26,772
Sidney,
I'm not talking
about 20 bucks.
1049
00:56:26,773 --> 00:56:28,474
I'm talking about an idea!
1050
00:56:28,475 --> 00:56:32,378
What if I tell you
that I have a guaranteed
money-maker?
1051
00:56:32,379 --> 00:56:34,580
Then I'd make
money, guaranteed.
1052
00:56:34,581 --> 00:56:35,414
What about me?
1053
00:56:35,415 --> 00:56:37,317
First let's
hear your idea,
then we'll talk.
1054
00:56:37,318 --> 00:56:41,454
You actors
are all the same.
What's your idea?
1055
00:56:41,722 --> 00:56:46,193
And in this corner,
Dr. Andrew Weisel.
1056
00:56:53,434 --> 00:56:54,434
A good, clean bout.
1057
00:56:54,435 --> 00:56:59,249
Dr. Weisel,
don't try any of your
powers here tonight.
1058
00:56:59,273 --> 00:57:00,140
What powers?
1059
00:57:00,141 --> 00:57:04,277
And I want no gouging,
and I want no kicking.
1060
00:57:04,879 --> 00:57:06,646
He's a hypnotist!
1061
00:57:06,647 --> 00:57:07,747
That's not fair!
1062
00:57:07,748 --> 00:57:09,816
He's should be
thrown out of the ring!
1063
00:57:09,817 --> 00:57:12,486
Somebody do something!
1064
00:57:12,787 --> 00:57:15,489
He's a hypnotist!
There! He's using it!
1065
00:57:15,490 --> 00:57:19,293
I bet 30 bucks!
Throw him out!
1066
00:57:25,734 --> 00:57:29,237
Throw him out,
the dirty bum!
1067
00:57:43,785 --> 00:57:48,288
One, two, three!
1068
00:57:50,759 --> 00:57:54,162
Dr. Weisel is the
greatest wrestler
1069
00:57:54,163 --> 00:57:56,532
in the world! Say it.
1070
00:57:56,533 --> 00:58:02,671
Dr. Weisel is the greatest
wrestler in the world.
1071
00:58:02,772 --> 00:58:05,273
You heard it.
1072
00:58:20,557 --> 00:58:23,903
What'd I tell you, Sidney?
What did I tell you?
1073
00:58:23,927 --> 00:58:25,327
You did okay, kid.
1074
00:58:25,328 --> 00:58:26,962
Okay?
Listen to that crowd!
1075
00:58:26,963 --> 00:58:28,864
They really hate me!
1076
00:58:28,865 --> 00:58:30,399
We're on our way!
1077
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:33,368
He was fantastic,
Sidney!
1078
00:58:38,209 --> 00:58:39,909
You really
killed them, Andy!
1079
00:58:39,910 --> 00:58:41,888
Dr. Weisel?
Yeah?
1080
00:58:41,912 --> 00:58:44,658
Can I have your autograph?
1081
00:58:44,682 --> 00:58:47,450
Well, sure, I mean,
you know, I... I'm here.
1082
00:58:47,451 --> 00:58:49,563
My absolute pleasure. Yeah.
1083
00:58:49,587 --> 00:58:51,321
You really
got something, kid.
1084
00:58:51,322 --> 00:58:52,255
Yeah, I seen 'em all.
1085
00:58:52,256 --> 00:58:55,825
You're going places.
I got all the stars
in that book!
1086
00:58:55,826 --> 00:58:58,271
Thank you. Thank you.
1087
00:58:58,295 --> 00:59:00,263
Here, you want
Cary Grant?
1088
00:59:00,264 --> 00:59:02,465
Yeah!
1089
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:05,869
Now you got it.
Get outta here.
1090
00:59:06,604 --> 00:59:08,004
Well, Uncle Sid?
1091
00:59:08,005 --> 00:59:10,006
You did okay
out there, kid.
1092
00:59:10,007 --> 00:59:11,908
Did you hear
what that man said?
1093
00:59:11,909 --> 00:59:14,344
He has all the stars
in that book.
1094
00:59:14,345 --> 00:59:15,278
All the stars!
1095
00:59:15,279 --> 00:59:17,014
I told you he would
be fantastic!
1096
00:59:17,015 --> 00:59:18,793
Yes, you did, Milton.
1097
00:59:18,817 --> 00:59:22,186
Oh, kid!
This time we did it!
1098
00:59:23,655 --> 00:59:24,888
Oh, Mary!
1099
00:59:24,889 --> 00:59:27,358
Hi, Mom.
1100
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:31,462
Hi, Daddy.
Mary.
1101
00:59:32,631 --> 00:59:35,366
Let me look at you.
1102
00:59:35,433 --> 00:59:38,536
Oh, it won't be
long now.
1103
00:59:38,637 --> 00:59:39,670
You look wonderful.
1104
00:59:39,671 --> 00:59:42,873
Well, I...
I've never felt better!
1105
00:59:42,941 --> 00:59:44,885
Oh, thank you!
1106
00:59:44,909 --> 00:59:49,023
Is this your, uh...
Total living area?
1107
00:59:49,047 --> 00:59:50,047
Uh, yes.
1108
00:59:50,048 --> 00:59:51,515
Well, you see,
we really
1109
00:59:51,516 --> 00:59:54,895
don't need
that much room
until the baby comes.
1110
00:59:54,919 --> 00:59:57,856
Well, why don't
you two just sit down?
1111
00:59:57,857 --> 00:59:58,890
Andy will be right back.
1112
00:59:58,891 --> 01:00:01,593
He just went
down the street to
pick up some food.
1113
01:00:01,594 --> 01:00:04,929
He's really so excited
about seeing you.
1114
01:00:04,930 --> 01:00:06,298
Mary!
1115
01:00:06,299 --> 01:00:08,366
Oh, Mom, I'm fine.
1116
01:00:08,367 --> 01:00:10,512
Really!
1117
01:00:10,536 --> 01:00:14,706
We want you
to be happy.
That's all.
1118
01:00:14,774 --> 01:00:16,618
You can have
your New York.
1119
01:00:16,642 --> 01:00:18,920
Everybody's
got his hand out.
1120
01:00:18,944 --> 01:00:23,692
The big cities frighten me.
Everyone's a stranger.
1121
01:00:23,716 --> 01:00:26,962
But you and Andy
are young.
1122
01:00:26,986 --> 01:00:30,488
Well, I used
to get frightened.
1123
01:00:31,524 --> 01:00:34,559
Sometimes I miss home,
but, uh, really,
1124
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:36,973
uh, New York is fun
when you live here.
1125
01:00:36,997 --> 01:00:38,497
Not for me.
1126
01:00:38,498 --> 01:00:41,867
Ahem! Um...
How is Andy?
1127
01:00:41,868 --> 01:00:45,071
Oh, fine. Just fine.
1128
01:00:45,072 --> 01:00:46,739
He's, uh, taken
some other jobs
1129
01:00:46,740 --> 01:00:48,708
while he looks
for work as an actor.
1130
01:00:48,709 --> 01:00:50,476
How is Sherman?
1131
01:00:50,477 --> 01:00:52,689
What kind of jobs?
1132
01:00:52,713 --> 01:00:56,582
He wrestles.
Dad, would you like
some coffee?
1133
01:00:56,750 --> 01:00:57,983
What did you say?
1134
01:00:57,984 --> 01:00:59,085
What?
1135
01:00:59,086 --> 01:01:01,554
She said...
1136
01:01:02,389 --> 01:01:04,724
He wrestles.
1137
01:01:05,492 --> 01:01:07,537
Wrestles?
Uh, what do you mean?
1138
01:01:07,561 --> 01:01:09,439
I mean, he wrestles.
1139
01:01:09,463 --> 01:01:11,474
Dear God.
1140
01:01:11,498 --> 01:01:14,477
Nobody wrestles!
1141
01:01:14,501 --> 01:01:17,437
You mean they
pay him to wrestle?
1142
01:01:17,438 --> 01:01:20,607
Hi!
1143
01:01:21,609 --> 01:01:23,844
Mom!
Oh, heh, darling.
1144
01:01:23,845 --> 01:01:27,524
Tom! Welcome
to New York!
1145
01:01:27,548 --> 01:01:29,816
Mary just told us
that you're wrestling.
1146
01:01:29,817 --> 01:01:30,118
Yeah!
1147
01:01:30,119 --> 01:01:32,719
We're thrilled to hear
that you've finally
found a profession.
1148
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:33,854
It's only temporary, Tom.
1149
01:01:33,855 --> 01:01:36,590
I'm on to some
really major things.
1150
01:01:36,591 --> 01:01:37,791
We've heard
that before.
1151
01:01:37,792 --> 01:01:39,960
How supportive of you.
1152
01:01:39,961 --> 01:01:43,063
Is he always
this much fun
at home? Huh?
1153
01:01:43,064 --> 01:01:44,498
Now look, young man.
1154
01:01:44,499 --> 01:01:45,499
Yeah. Yes, sir.
1155
01:01:45,500 --> 01:01:47,167
Pa, please,
I am pregnant.
1156
01:01:47,168 --> 01:01:50,536
I mean, couldn't we just
all try and get along?
1157
01:01:50,605 --> 01:01:51,671
Yeah, you know,
Mary, you're right.
1158
01:01:51,672 --> 01:01:55,109
Mary is right.
Tom, we shouldn't
fight all the time!
1159
01:01:55,110 --> 01:01:58,079
I'm gonna make
a concentrated
effort, huh?
1160
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:00,625
Hello! Sidney!
1161
01:02:00,649 --> 01:02:02,394
You're downstairs.
1162
01:02:02,418 --> 01:02:04,629
You're all downstairs!
1163
01:02:04,653 --> 01:02:07,699
No, no, no, if it's such
a big deal, come on up!
1164
01:02:07,723 --> 01:02:10,024
No, nobody's here.
1165
01:02:10,159 --> 01:02:12,126
Just a figure
of speech, Tom.
1166
01:02:12,127 --> 01:02:14,472
Right, Sidney. Okay.
1167
01:02:14,496 --> 01:02:16,931
Some of my
business associates
are coming up.
1168
01:02:16,932 --> 01:02:18,499
Who are these people?
1169
01:02:18,500 --> 01:02:20,868
Uh... I don't know.
1170
01:02:20,869 --> 01:02:23,671
I've never met
any of the people
Andy works with.
1171
01:02:23,672 --> 01:02:26,574
Um... Well, should I
set some more places?
1172
01:02:26,575 --> 01:02:27,642
Do we have enough food?
1173
01:02:27,643 --> 01:02:29,644
Mom, it's just a small
business meeting.
1174
01:02:29,645 --> 01:02:31,812
Don't worry yourself.
1175
01:02:33,949 --> 01:02:37,686
You're gonna really
like these guys!
1176
01:02:39,155 --> 01:02:40,789
Where's the crapper?
1177
01:02:40,790 --> 01:02:41,957
Uh, down the hall.
1178
01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:43,903
Oh, my dear God!
1179
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:44,760
You live here?
1180
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:47,496
I didn't know you could
rent a room here
for more than an hour.
1181
01:02:47,497 --> 01:02:49,765
I'll meet everybody when
I get out of the crapper.
1182
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:52,701
Oh, come on in.
Come on in.
1183
01:02:54,170 --> 01:02:55,537
Milton Miller
and The Elephant,
1184
01:02:55,538 --> 01:02:57,706
I want you to meet
my wife, Mary,
1185
01:02:57,707 --> 01:03:00,186
and her parents,
the Crawfords.
1186
01:03:00,210 --> 01:03:03,078
This one's The Elephant.
1187
01:03:06,115 --> 01:03:09,051
Well, hello!
1188
01:03:13,189 --> 01:03:16,603
Well, would you
like to sit down?
1189
01:03:16,627 --> 01:03:18,695
Maybe you'd like
something to eat.
1190
01:03:18,696 --> 01:03:19,963
I think we have enough.
1191
01:03:19,964 --> 01:03:22,399
Oh, we ate.
1192
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:24,711
You have nice eyes.
1193
01:03:24,735 --> 01:03:26,970
Thank you.
1194
01:03:26,971 --> 01:03:29,472
Milton.
1195
01:03:30,541 --> 01:03:33,643
Do you two, um...
Wrestle?
1196
01:03:33,644 --> 01:03:34,911
Oh, yeah!
1197
01:03:34,912 --> 01:03:36,813
Uh, but not each other.
1198
01:03:36,814 --> 01:03:38,914
I'm too big.
1199
01:03:39,183 --> 01:03:40,250
Oh.
1200
01:03:40,251 --> 01:03:43,153
Well, let's sit down,
shall we?
1201
01:03:53,964 --> 01:03:54,865
So, uh...
1202
01:03:54,866 --> 01:03:57,167
Why do I have to talk
to Sidney this afternoon?
1203
01:03:57,168 --> 01:03:58,002
Oh, good news.
1204
01:03:58,003 --> 01:04:00,538
He'll tell you when
he gets out of the bathroom.
1205
01:04:00,539 --> 01:04:04,252
Uh, he has bowel
movement troubles.
1206
01:04:04,276 --> 01:04:07,044
Uh... Oh.
1207
01:04:10,549 --> 01:04:12,793
Do you like New York?
1208
01:04:12,817 --> 01:04:16,554
Yes, uh...
We're from Ohio.
1209
01:04:16,555 --> 01:04:20,157
Hmm. There are things
you can get here
1210
01:04:20,158 --> 01:04:23,571
that you cannot
get anywhere else.
1211
01:04:23,595 --> 01:04:25,172
Milton...
1212
01:04:25,196 --> 01:04:27,998
Is also an actor.
1213
01:04:28,199 --> 01:04:31,936
How long are you
gonna be in town?
1214
01:04:32,237 --> 01:04:34,805
Just today.
1215
01:04:35,007 --> 01:04:37,242
That's enough.
1216
01:04:38,711 --> 01:04:39,244
Hi, I'm Sidney Seltzer.
1217
01:04:39,245 --> 01:04:41,980
Yeah, Sidney, uh,
let me introduce you
to my wife Mary
1218
01:04:41,981 --> 01:04:45,584
and her mother and father
Mr. and Mrs. Crawford.
They're from Ohio.
1219
01:04:45,585 --> 01:04:46,985
That's exciting.
Kid, you got a minute?
1220
01:04:46,986 --> 01:04:48,053
Something big
has come up.
1221
01:04:48,054 --> 01:04:50,021
Oh, sure.
We can go in the hallway.
1222
01:04:50,022 --> 01:04:52,601
Jesus,
is this place a dump!
1223
01:04:52,625 --> 01:04:57,095
Nice meeting you.
If you're ever in New York,
give me a call.
1224
01:04:58,698 --> 01:05:02,367
Excuse me,
uh, do you have
anything more crispy,
1225
01:05:02,368 --> 01:05:04,212
uh, like peanuts?
1226
01:05:04,236 --> 01:05:06,838
Oh, yeah.
1227
01:05:10,743 --> 01:05:13,923
Uh, what do you
do for a living?
1228
01:05:13,947 --> 01:05:14,914
Insurance.
1229
01:05:14,915 --> 01:05:18,818
Insurance? Do you
know Gorilla Gotleib?
1230
01:05:19,286 --> 01:05:20,686
I'm afraid not.
1231
01:05:20,687 --> 01:05:23,356
Oh, Gorilla was
his wrestling name.
1232
01:05:23,357 --> 01:05:25,358
Phil is his
insurance name.
1233
01:05:25,359 --> 01:05:28,294
He sells insurance, too.
1234
01:05:28,929 --> 01:05:29,929
That's interesting.
1235
01:05:29,930 --> 01:05:32,899
Insurance
must be easy.
1236
01:05:33,033 --> 01:05:35,034
Gorilla was
not real smart.
1237
01:05:35,035 --> 01:05:40,116
Fact is, he's one
of the dumbest guys
I ever met.
1238
01:05:40,140 --> 01:05:45,044
Uh, I don't mean to incur
that you're dumb, too.
1239
01:05:47,714 --> 01:05:49,058
Mom!
1240
01:05:49,082 --> 01:05:50,282
What's the matter?
1241
01:05:50,283 --> 01:05:52,629
I want to go home.
1242
01:05:52,653 --> 01:05:55,889
I want to
go home! Oh!
1243
01:05:58,192 --> 01:06:01,161
Muriel,
what's the matter?
1244
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:08,412
Okay, so Milton made
a pass at your mother.
1245
01:06:08,436 --> 01:06:09,936
And Sidney
offered me a tour.
1246
01:06:09,937 --> 01:06:11,972
But first of all,
I'm not taking the tour
1247
01:06:11,973 --> 01:06:14,385
because I wouldn't
leave you.
1248
01:06:14,409 --> 01:06:18,088
And I'll talk to Milton.
About his taste.
1249
01:06:18,112 --> 01:06:20,824
It's all so ugly.
1250
01:06:20,848 --> 01:06:24,284
Honey, those are
the guys in wrestling.
1251
01:06:24,285 --> 01:06:27,054
I'm through with that!
1252
01:06:27,755 --> 01:06:30,624
No, you're not.
1253
01:06:31,793 --> 01:06:33,705
You want the circus.
1254
01:06:33,729 --> 01:06:35,229
You want the freaks.
1255
01:06:35,230 --> 01:06:38,232
You'll take the ugliness!
1256
01:06:38,333 --> 01:06:39,267
The freaks like you!
1257
01:06:39,268 --> 01:06:43,438
Mary, I had to make
some god damn money!
Do you mind?
1258
01:06:43,439 --> 01:06:46,107
Yes!
Whoever this is,
1259
01:06:46,108 --> 01:06:49,110
I want it to be
able to stand the
craziness out there
1260
01:06:49,111 --> 01:06:51,079
by knowing that when
it comes back to us,
1261
01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:53,925
it's nice, it's normal,
it's home!
1262
01:06:53,949 --> 01:06:56,217
Milton happens to be
a very nice person.
1263
01:06:56,218 --> 01:06:58,720
He can't be respectable.
He's too short.
1264
01:06:58,721 --> 01:07:00,988
Now stop being
such a god damn snob,
or you'll wind up
1265
01:07:00,989 --> 01:07:05,293
in some small town
with a picture of
Jesus on the wall!
1266
01:07:11,233 --> 01:07:14,035
I'm going home.
1267
01:07:25,882 --> 01:07:29,852
Put one thing
in that suitcase,
we get a divorce!
1268
01:07:37,026 --> 01:07:38,127
That's good,
you little bitch!
1269
01:07:38,128 --> 01:07:41,864
It gets hot and you
gotta take a powder!
1270
01:07:42,165 --> 01:07:44,400
Get out!
1271
01:07:45,502 --> 01:07:49,104
We haven't
paid for that yet.
1272
01:08:00,451 --> 01:08:03,953
Look what I have
to do around here.
1273
01:08:05,523 --> 01:08:07,234
Please.
1274
01:08:07,258 --> 01:08:09,859
Stop packing.
1275
01:08:17,368 --> 01:08:20,814
I am through
with wrestling.
1276
01:08:20,838 --> 01:08:25,085
And if I don't
get an acting job
in three months,
1277
01:08:25,109 --> 01:08:28,244
I'll get
a regular job.
1278
01:08:29,146 --> 01:08:31,748
And...
1279
01:08:32,316 --> 01:08:34,985
I love you.
1280
01:08:58,176 --> 01:09:01,412
Stay right where
you are, both of you.
1281
01:09:04,482 --> 01:09:05,916
Here. Throw this
on the floor.
1282
01:09:05,917 --> 01:09:07,318
It'll make you
feel much better.
1283
01:09:07,319 --> 01:09:08,519
Thank God
all we have is junk.
1284
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:12,256
I mean, rich people
can't do this, you know.
1285
01:09:19,432 --> 01:09:21,199
So I told my wife
that I wouldn't go.
1286
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:24,069
I can't take the tour.
1287
01:09:25,238 --> 01:09:26,982
Kid, you got
a nice wife.
1288
01:09:27,006 --> 01:09:27,440
I know that.
1289
01:09:27,441 --> 01:09:30,876
But how does she know
what goes on inside
somebody like you?
1290
01:09:30,877 --> 01:09:32,444
There're two
kind of people, kid!
1291
01:09:32,445 --> 01:09:33,912
The kind who put
lamp shades on lamps,
1292
01:09:33,913 --> 01:09:36,348
and the kind that
put lamp shades
on their heads!
1293
01:09:36,349 --> 01:09:38,227
She wants to be married.
1294
01:09:38,251 --> 01:09:40,151
You want to dress up
like a cowboy and make fun.
1295
01:09:40,152 --> 01:09:41,419
Sidney, would you look
from my point of view?
1296
01:09:41,420 --> 01:09:43,488
Look? You look!
I'm in the business
of crazy.
1297
01:09:43,489 --> 01:09:47,402
I know crazy
when I see it.
That's you, kid!
1298
01:09:47,426 --> 01:09:50,328
You don't wanna
dance unless your
mother's watching.
1299
01:09:50,329 --> 01:09:51,363
Take the tour!
1300
01:09:51,364 --> 01:09:52,564
Sidney, I am an actor!
1301
01:09:52,565 --> 01:09:54,400
Oh, yeah?
Then how come
you're not acting?
1302
01:09:54,401 --> 01:09:56,102
So?
They let 10 actors act.
1303
01:09:56,103 --> 01:09:59,883
All the rest of them drink
coffee and grow pimples.
1304
01:09:59,907 --> 01:10:01,507
An actor
propositioned my son!
1305
01:10:01,508 --> 01:10:02,508
I can't take the tour!
1306
01:10:02,509 --> 01:10:04,377
Maybe he'll
grow out of it,
the little faggot.
1307
01:10:04,378 --> 01:10:05,645
Sidney!
Take the tour!
1308
01:10:05,646 --> 01:10:07,947
No. I don't wanna
take the tour.
1309
01:10:07,948 --> 01:10:09,482
But you're a very nice guy.
1310
01:10:09,483 --> 01:10:10,950
I'm a bloodsucker!
1311
01:10:10,951 --> 01:10:13,062
You're good,
and I want you!
1312
01:10:13,086 --> 01:10:14,053
We leave
tomorrow morning.
1313
01:10:14,054 --> 01:10:16,199
If you change
your mind, call me!
1314
01:10:16,223 --> 01:10:19,559
We'll play to over
a million people!
1315
01:10:35,076 --> 01:10:37,344
Mary?
1316
01:10:42,617 --> 01:10:45,162
You're leaving,
aren't you?
1317
01:10:45,186 --> 01:10:47,554
Yes.
1318
01:10:48,323 --> 01:10:51,258
I'm doing the wrong thing.
1319
01:10:51,993 --> 01:10:54,238
Can I make you
some coffee?
1320
01:10:54,262 --> 01:10:59,199
No. I left $200
on the bureau for you.
1321
01:10:59,500 --> 01:11:01,168
Just take it
and go back to Ohio,
1322
01:11:01,169 --> 01:11:03,514
and then I'll call you
there tonight.
1323
01:11:03,538 --> 01:11:04,705
Right.
1324
01:11:04,706 --> 01:11:09,576
You know,
when this tour is over,
1325
01:11:10,278 --> 01:11:14,082
the whole thing'll be
outta my system.
1326
01:11:15,651 --> 01:11:19,220
Aren't you gonna
ask me to stay?
1327
01:11:22,124 --> 01:11:23,401
No.
1328
01:11:23,425 --> 01:11:24,559
I'm just
gonna ask you
1329
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:28,229
to take real good
care of yourself.
1330
01:11:30,499 --> 01:11:33,268
Knock 'em dead.
1331
01:11:42,378 --> 01:11:45,380
You know, I used to think
that all talented people
1332
01:11:45,381 --> 01:11:48,149
were in show business.
1333
01:11:48,150 --> 01:11:49,661
I was wrong.
1334
01:11:49,685 --> 01:11:53,222
Boy, are you talented.
1335
01:11:58,128 --> 01:11:59,328
On my left,
1336
01:11:59,329 --> 01:12:02,164
that great American
fighting man,
1337
01:12:02,165 --> 01:12:06,402
Leatherneck Joe Brady!
1338
01:12:12,409 --> 01:12:18,380
And on my right,
from Dusseldorf,
Germany...
1339
01:12:20,183 --> 01:12:23,652
Adolf Hitner!
1340
01:12:26,656 --> 01:12:30,392
Now, Hitner is spelled
with an "N", folks.
1341
01:12:30,393 --> 01:12:34,430
But we know who he
takes after, don't we?
1342
01:12:35,332 --> 01:12:40,470
And personally,
I'm offended!
1343
01:12:44,075 --> 01:12:47,777
I tell you something!
I tell you something!
1344
01:12:47,778 --> 01:12:49,512
This is not fair!
1345
01:12:49,513 --> 01:12:56,051
I want the name of
everybody out there
that is booing me!
1346
01:12:56,687 --> 01:12:58,354
I will not forget you!
No, I won't!
1347
01:12:58,355 --> 01:13:02,458
Yes, and I...
You, old lady
with the glasses!
1348
01:13:02,593 --> 01:13:04,094
I want his name!
1349
01:13:04,095 --> 01:13:06,730
Milton, get his name!
1350
01:13:07,131 --> 01:13:12,435
The referee, looks like
"Flash" Wally Rowe!
1351
01:13:20,612 --> 01:13:24,281
Take that hat off
and come out wrestling.
1352
01:13:43,368 --> 01:13:45,770
You little shit.
1353
01:13:45,837 --> 01:13:48,405
You hit me in the nuts
one more time,
1354
01:13:48,406 --> 01:13:49,573
and I'm gonna kill you!
1355
01:13:49,574 --> 01:13:51,375
That's where I hit!
1356
01:13:51,376 --> 01:13:54,289
Hello, Mary!
Yeah, I'm fine.
1357
01:13:54,313 --> 01:13:56,758
I'm in Des Moines, Iowa.
1358
01:13:56,782 --> 01:13:58,427
Yeah.
1359
01:13:58,451 --> 01:14:00,395
No, I...
1360
01:14:00,419 --> 01:14:03,788
Mary,
I'm just trying
to earn a living
1361
01:14:03,789 --> 01:14:06,625
like anybody else!
1362
01:14:30,917 --> 01:14:32,418
Are you married?
1363
01:14:32,419 --> 01:14:33,352
Yeah.
1364
01:14:33,353 --> 01:14:35,388
When your wife was
having the babies,
1365
01:14:35,389 --> 01:14:39,225
did you ever go
somewhere else
and wrestle?
1366
01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:40,826
No.
1367
01:14:40,827 --> 01:14:42,562
God damn right, no!
1368
01:14:42,563 --> 01:14:44,630
Listen, just take
the rest of the
week off, okay?
1369
01:14:44,631 --> 01:14:48,711
Just take the
rest of the week off
and be with your wife.
1370
01:14:48,735 --> 01:14:53,416
A wife is someone
that you're not supposed
to leave from.
1371
01:14:53,440 --> 01:14:56,619
I'm in Kansas City
with a dwarf and a drunk.
1372
01:14:56,643 --> 01:15:00,723
I wish I could
love somebody the
way you love Mary.
1373
01:15:00,747 --> 01:15:03,182
Milton...
1374
01:15:03,417 --> 01:15:05,695
Don't love anybody.
1375
01:15:05,719 --> 01:15:07,764
Not in this business.
1376
01:15:07,788 --> 01:15:10,856
The circus came to town.
1377
01:15:10,857 --> 01:15:12,859
You know what
that means? Huh?
1378
01:15:12,860 --> 01:15:17,531
It means the circus
left another town.
1379
01:15:19,234 --> 01:15:21,779
You would have
made a great midget.
1380
01:15:21,803 --> 01:15:24,404
You're sad enough.
1381
01:15:25,607 --> 01:15:27,874
Everything I want
1382
01:15:27,875 --> 01:15:32,146
louses up every
other thing I want.
1383
01:15:32,914 --> 01:15:34,758
You understand
what I mean?
1384
01:15:34,782 --> 01:15:35,716
Mmm-hmm.
1385
01:15:35,717 --> 01:15:38,429
Look at this,
the midget understands.
1386
01:15:38,453 --> 01:15:42,733
You two ain't any smarter
or sadder here than
you were in New York.
1387
01:15:42,757 --> 01:15:44,424
I'm going to my room.
1388
01:15:44,425 --> 01:15:46,493
By the way, you don't
get what you want,
1389
01:15:46,494 --> 01:15:48,906
you get what you deserve.
1390
01:15:48,930 --> 01:15:50,397
Go to sleep.
Nobody ever said
1391
01:15:50,398 --> 01:15:53,935
anything in Kansas City
that was important.
1392
01:15:54,036 --> 01:15:59,541
I've always wanted
people I don't even know
to love me.
1393
01:16:00,809 --> 01:16:04,779
I don't even
like the people
I want to love me.
1394
01:16:04,780 --> 01:16:07,592
All those dopes!
1395
01:16:07,616 --> 01:16:11,586
Quit the tour.
Go home.
1396
01:16:11,620 --> 01:16:14,633
Let the dopes
love somebody else.
1397
01:16:14,657 --> 01:16:17,792
That's what freaks are for.
1398
01:16:18,427 --> 01:16:20,962
You're not a freak.
1399
01:16:25,634 --> 01:16:28,780
I was hoping
to find you here.
1400
01:16:28,804 --> 01:16:31,784
I saw you
wrestle tonight.
1401
01:16:31,808 --> 01:16:33,486
Hi.
1402
01:16:33,510 --> 01:16:34,787
Hi.
1403
01:16:34,811 --> 01:16:37,323
You're sexy and...
1404
01:16:37,347 --> 01:16:39,025
I'm drunk.
1405
01:16:39,049 --> 01:16:41,394
Perfect!
1406
01:16:41,418 --> 01:16:42,751
What's your name?
1407
01:16:42,752 --> 01:16:46,622
Arlene.
1408
01:16:47,624 --> 01:16:50,025
Are you ready
to do things tonight
1409
01:16:50,026 --> 01:16:54,563
that you never dreamed
were possible?
1410
01:16:55,532 --> 01:16:59,645
I am ready for anything.
1411
01:16:59,669 --> 01:17:02,715
I hope so.
1412
01:17:02,739 --> 01:17:03,839
Arlene?
1413
01:17:03,840 --> 01:17:05,451
Uh-huh?
1414
01:17:05,475 --> 01:17:07,710
This is Milton.
1415
01:17:08,078 --> 01:17:12,315
Milton. Handle this.
1416
01:17:36,674 --> 01:17:39,276
Thanks.
1417
01:18:04,503 --> 01:18:06,971
Damn it.
1418
01:18:19,117 --> 01:18:23,097
Mary, it's me,
Errol Flynn!
1419
01:18:23,121 --> 01:18:26,791
Why did you break
the window? Hi!
1420
01:18:26,792 --> 01:18:29,193
Because you didn't
hear the pebbles.
1421
01:18:29,194 --> 01:18:30,027
Hi.
1422
01:18:30,028 --> 01:18:32,975
Why didn't you ring
the front doorbell?
1423
01:18:32,999 --> 01:18:35,500
Because I wanted
some time alone with you
1424
01:18:35,501 --> 01:18:37,469
without the whole
family around.
1425
01:18:37,470 --> 01:18:39,181
How are you?
1426
01:18:39,205 --> 01:18:41,873
Is that your stomach?
1427
01:18:42,675 --> 01:18:44,643
Yes, I look terrible!
1428
01:18:44,644 --> 01:18:46,011
Are you home for good?
1429
01:18:46,012 --> 01:18:47,045
Yeah.
1430
01:18:47,046 --> 01:18:50,192
I missed you
an awful lot, Andy.
1431
01:18:50,216 --> 01:18:52,017
Maybe I should
come in the house now.
1432
01:18:52,018 --> 01:18:54,653
Uh, yes,
I'll come down
and let you in.
1433
01:18:54,654 --> 01:18:55,954
Good.
Uh, Andy?
1434
01:18:55,955 --> 01:18:56,955
Yeah?
Listen.
1435
01:18:56,956 --> 01:18:58,223
When I get
to the front door,
1436
01:18:58,224 --> 01:18:59,124
you will be there,
won't you?
1437
01:18:59,125 --> 01:19:02,527
Because, I mean,
if this is a dream,
I will never forgive you!
1438
01:19:02,528 --> 01:19:03,839
Okay!
1439
01:19:03,863 --> 01:19:05,530
Andy?
Yeah?
1440
01:19:05,531 --> 01:19:07,132
I'm not gonna touch
my hair or anything.
1441
01:19:07,133 --> 01:19:10,670
So when you see me,
just know that
I only look like this
1442
01:19:10,671 --> 01:19:11,637
because it's at night,
1443
01:19:11,638 --> 01:19:13,105
and you're not around,
and I'm pregnant.
1444
01:19:13,106 --> 01:19:16,576
I mean, otherwise,
I am really gorgeous, okay?
1445
01:19:16,577 --> 01:19:17,887
Okay!
1446
01:19:17,911 --> 01:19:19,612
Okay. Andy?
Yeah?
1447
01:19:19,613 --> 01:19:20,913
Are you as
excited as I am?
1448
01:19:20,914 --> 01:19:22,648
Will you open
the goddamn door?
1449
01:19:22,649 --> 01:19:26,452
I feel dumb down here
without a guitar!
1450
01:19:38,866 --> 01:19:40,233
Say the word "love."
1451
01:19:40,234 --> 01:19:41,200
Love.
1452
01:19:41,201 --> 01:19:44,147
Everywhere I went,
people said that word.
1453
01:19:44,171 --> 01:19:47,807
It only sounds right
when you say it.
1454
01:20:00,655 --> 01:20:02,066
Mmm-mmm.
1455
01:20:02,090 --> 01:20:04,735
Hi. I'm back.
1456
01:20:04,759 --> 01:20:06,226
Listen, I just
want to apologize
1457
01:20:06,227 --> 01:20:08,962
for all the trouble
that I've caused you.
1458
01:20:08,963 --> 01:20:11,164
I'll be here
in the morning
when you wake up,
1459
01:20:11,165 --> 01:20:14,111
and you'll see
that I've changed.
1460
01:20:14,135 --> 01:20:17,281
I can't undo what
I've already done.
1461
01:20:17,305 --> 01:20:20,684
Oh, but I'm ready
to make a new start.
1462
01:20:20,708 --> 01:20:23,744
Go back to sleep.
1463
01:20:42,831 --> 01:20:44,165
He's your son.
1464
01:20:44,166 --> 01:20:46,768
He just did
James Cagney wetting.
1465
01:20:46,769 --> 01:20:49,681
Oh, my God.
Look at him.
1466
01:20:49,705 --> 01:20:51,182
What's his name?
1467
01:20:51,206 --> 01:20:52,874
Well,
we have to name him.
1468
01:20:52,875 --> 01:20:55,577
Oh, yeah, but he's...
1469
01:20:55,578 --> 01:20:57,045
He's got
10 little fingers.
1470
01:20:57,046 --> 01:21:01,593
He's got a nose
and a mouth and
two eyes and two ears.
1471
01:21:01,617 --> 01:21:02,650
Can I?
1472
01:21:02,651 --> 01:21:03,618
Oh, sure.
1473
01:21:03,619 --> 01:21:07,165
Okay.
Come on, come on.
1474
01:21:07,189 --> 01:21:09,267
Yes. Hello.
1475
01:21:09,291 --> 01:21:11,327
Hello. Yeah.
1476
01:21:11,328 --> 01:21:13,272
Oh, we're gonna
have so much fun.
1477
01:21:13,296 --> 01:21:15,074
Are you happy?
1478
01:21:15,098 --> 01:21:16,832
I could be
in Yankee Stadium,
1479
01:21:16,833 --> 01:21:18,667
and play in front
of 80,000 people,
1480
01:21:18,668 --> 01:21:21,536
I'd never be
as happy as I am now.
1481
01:21:22,906 --> 01:21:24,039
Aww.
1482
01:21:24,040 --> 01:21:25,107
Good.
1483
01:21:25,108 --> 01:21:26,208
Just some toast.
1484
01:21:26,209 --> 01:21:27,376
No, Mom.
Coffee is fine.
1485
01:21:27,377 --> 01:21:29,812
I have to be downtown
in 20 minutes.
1486
01:21:29,813 --> 01:21:31,213
You know, Andrew,
Tom would kill me
1487
01:21:31,214 --> 01:21:32,381
if he knew
I told you this,
1488
01:21:32,382 --> 01:21:35,050
but he said that
you have the potential
1489
01:21:35,051 --> 01:21:37,152
to be one of his
best salesmen.
1490
01:21:37,153 --> 01:21:39,221
Well, I'm learning
a lot from him.
1491
01:21:39,222 --> 01:21:41,624
Andy,
I thought you might
be interested in this.
1492
01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:44,003
We're starting
a community theater.
1493
01:21:44,027 --> 01:21:45,894
Why would I be
interested in that?
1494
01:21:45,895 --> 01:21:47,296
Well, they would
love having you,
1495
01:21:47,297 --> 01:21:49,064
and you'd be
in front of people.
1496
01:21:49,065 --> 01:21:50,700
Sweetheart, I'm
in front of the people
1497
01:21:50,701 --> 01:21:53,970
I want to be
in front of right now.
1498
01:21:55,006 --> 01:21:57,140
Mom.
1499
01:22:00,344 --> 01:22:04,814
I've never seen
a change in
a boy like that.
1500
01:22:05,149 --> 01:22:07,284
Yeah.
1501
01:22:07,351 --> 01:22:10,287
It sure happened fast.
1502
01:22:20,431 --> 01:22:22,932
That's an old proverb,
and I don't believe in it.
1503
01:22:22,933 --> 01:22:25,635
This guy is funny.
1504
01:22:25,803 --> 01:22:27,137
Did you ever meet him?
1505
01:22:27,138 --> 01:22:28,038
No.
1506
01:22:28,039 --> 01:22:29,974
I like Milton Berle.
He's so funny.
1507
01:22:29,975 --> 01:22:32,143
"What the hey? What the hey?"
1508
01:22:32,144 --> 01:22:33,244
Did you ever meet him?
1509
01:22:33,245 --> 01:22:35,379
No.
Jerry Lester?
1510
01:22:35,380 --> 01:22:36,347
No.
1511
01:22:36,348 --> 01:22:37,848
I never got a chance
to meet anybody.
1512
01:22:37,849 --> 01:22:39,884
I was in the business
for 30 seconds.
1513
01:22:39,885 --> 01:22:41,886
Could we just watch?
1514
01:22:41,887 --> 01:22:43,788
Why does everyone
have to talk?
1515
01:22:43,789 --> 01:22:45,322
What's the matter
with you, honey?
1516
01:22:45,323 --> 01:22:47,669
Mary's just tired, Andy.
1517
01:22:47,693 --> 01:22:50,738
You know,
this television
is really something.
1518
01:22:50,762 --> 01:22:54,242
We used to do all our
advertising in print.
1519
01:22:54,266 --> 01:22:56,200
But now,
with one commercial
1520
01:22:56,201 --> 01:23:00,715
on local TV, we can
reach 80,000 homes.
1521
01:23:00,739 --> 01:23:03,107
That makes your job
a lot easier, Andy.
1522
01:23:03,108 --> 01:23:04,141
Mmm-hmm.
1523
01:23:04,142 --> 01:23:07,612
There's a great western
on channel 5.
1524
01:23:10,116 --> 01:23:11,316
Hey, Andy, look.
1525
01:23:11,317 --> 01:23:16,688
They have wrestling
on TV every week now.
It's really great.
1526
01:23:19,926 --> 01:23:24,161
Sherman,
could you just turn on
your god damn western?
1527
01:23:24,797 --> 01:23:26,764
Mary, you all right?
1528
01:23:27,800 --> 01:23:30,268
I'm going to bed.
1529
01:23:35,174 --> 01:23:40,012
For Christ's sake, Mary,
what's bothering you?
1530
01:23:40,246 --> 01:23:41,847
A telegram
came for you today.
1531
01:23:41,848 --> 01:23:44,983
A telegram.
Gee, I hope my parents
didn't die again.
1532
01:23:44,984 --> 01:23:47,029
Where is it?
1533
01:23:47,053 --> 01:23:48,253
I burned it.
1534
01:23:48,254 --> 01:23:50,300
You what?
1535
01:23:50,324 --> 01:23:51,457
It said there
was a spot for you
1536
01:23:51,458 --> 01:23:53,159
to wrestle on
national television.
1537
01:23:53,160 --> 01:23:55,505
It came from
Sidney Seltzer.
1538
01:23:55,529 --> 01:23:57,764
I don't want, uh,
any part of that.
1539
01:23:57,765 --> 01:24:02,112
Right.
The minute you leave,
I'm divorcing you.
1540
01:24:02,136 --> 01:24:04,437
Mary...
1541
01:24:06,006 --> 01:24:08,408
I'm not leaving.
1542
01:24:22,489 --> 01:24:24,957
Please stay.
1543
01:24:28,028 --> 01:24:29,096
Have a nice day, Andy.
1544
01:24:29,097 --> 01:24:30,430
Yeah.
See you all tonight.
1545
01:24:30,431 --> 01:24:32,966
You forgot to pack this!
1546
01:24:35,503 --> 01:24:36,804
I was gonna
call you, Mary.
1547
01:24:36,805 --> 01:24:40,808
Stop sneaking
out of town, Andy.
1548
01:24:40,909 --> 01:24:42,109
Goodbye!
1549
01:24:42,110 --> 01:24:43,310
Andy, I...
1550
01:24:43,311 --> 01:24:45,913
Mom, shut up!
1551
01:24:46,114 --> 01:24:48,292
He knows
what he's doing!
1552
01:24:48,316 --> 01:24:51,151
My lawyer will
contact your lawyer.
1553
01:24:51,152 --> 01:24:52,820
Or whatever people do.
1554
01:24:52,821 --> 01:24:54,488
I just thought in
a couple of weeks...
1555
01:24:54,489 --> 01:24:57,224
Not this time!
1556
01:24:59,360 --> 01:25:02,896
Hurry up!
You'll miss your train!
1557
01:25:08,904 --> 01:25:10,505
I have to
do this, Mary.
1558
01:25:10,506 --> 01:25:14,375
Andy...
Mom, stay out of it!
1559
01:25:15,978 --> 01:25:18,279
Get out!
1560
01:25:28,157 --> 01:25:30,258
Hi, this is
Dennis James at ringside.
1561
01:25:30,259 --> 01:25:32,160
There's something
going on here tonight.
1562
01:25:32,161 --> 01:25:34,028
You can feel it
in your bones!
1563
01:25:34,029 --> 01:25:36,397
Actually, you can
cut it with a knife.
1564
01:25:36,398 --> 01:25:40,401
The great Buddy Gibson
is already in the ring,
and he's waiting.
1565
01:25:40,402 --> 01:25:41,169
And as you can tell,
1566
01:25:41,170 --> 01:25:44,873
thousands of people here
in Madison Square Garden,
they're waiting.
1567
01:25:44,874 --> 01:25:46,040
And the millions
of you folks
1568
01:25:46,041 --> 01:25:47,175
watching
this first television
1569
01:25:47,176 --> 01:25:49,578
hook-up of wrestling,
we're waiting for...
1570
01:25:49,579 --> 01:25:52,481
Well, as a matter of fact,
I don't know what
we're waiting for.
1571
01:25:52,482 --> 01:25:54,583
Let me read to you from
the avalanche of publicity
1572
01:25:54,584 --> 01:25:57,887
we've been bombarded with
over the past three weeks.
1573
01:25:57,888 --> 01:25:59,154
Hear this.
1574
01:25:59,155 --> 01:26:02,157
"He was,
and is the wrestling
champion of the world.
1575
01:26:02,158 --> 01:26:04,170
"By divine right."
1576
01:26:04,194 --> 01:26:05,961
Ah, it's what
it says here, folks.
1577
01:26:05,962 --> 01:26:09,231
Now, also, he,
uh, hates violence.
1578
01:26:09,232 --> 01:26:11,567
He came close
to killing five men
1579
01:26:11,568 --> 01:26:13,335
because he hates violence.
1580
01:26:13,336 --> 01:26:17,439
"He's a lover
of all human beings,
hence his name,
1581
01:26:17,440 --> 01:26:18,474
"The Lover."
1582
01:26:18,475 --> 01:26:20,643
Now, The Lover.
What does The Lover do?
1583
01:26:20,644 --> 01:26:24,056
He kills you with love,
is what he does.
1584
01:26:24,080 --> 01:26:26,582
This crowd is getting
restless here in
Madison Square Garden.
1585
01:26:26,583 --> 01:26:29,185
And speaking of this crowd,
it's more like the crowd
1586
01:26:29,186 --> 01:26:31,521
for a Broadway opening night
than for a wrestling match.
1587
01:26:31,522 --> 01:26:35,659
Look around.
You can count the tuxedoes
and count the stars.
1588
01:26:35,660 --> 01:26:39,195
There is something
definitely going on
here tonight!
1589
01:26:39,196 --> 01:26:40,664
There's the chant
of the hands.
1590
01:26:40,665 --> 01:26:43,967
Let's see
what's gonna happen!
1591
01:26:47,605 --> 01:26:52,319
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please!
1592
01:26:52,343 --> 01:26:55,045
Will everyone be quiet?
1593
01:26:55,046 --> 01:26:56,980
The Lover will not come out
1594
01:26:56,981 --> 01:27:02,252
unless there is
complete silence!
1595
01:27:06,424 --> 01:27:09,093
Thank you.
1596
01:27:36,989 --> 01:27:38,589
Well, if you folks
just tuned in,
1597
01:27:38,590 --> 01:27:40,992
this is not
Queen for a Day.
1598
01:27:40,993 --> 01:27:44,095
This is wrestling from
Madison Square Garden,
believe it or not,
1599
01:27:44,096 --> 01:27:49,201
and this is what the
well-dressed wrestler
will wear this year.
1600
01:28:56,603 --> 01:28:58,171
I don't
know what he's spraying,
1601
01:28:58,172 --> 01:29:00,106
whether he's got
a bug killer there, flint,
1602
01:29:00,107 --> 01:29:01,808
or whether that's
his own personal cologne.
1603
01:29:01,809 --> 01:29:07,380
But whatever it is, he's
delighting this crowd,
I'll tell you that!
1604
01:29:23,098 --> 01:29:25,265
Well, he's got quite
a charisma, this boy.
1605
01:29:25,266 --> 01:29:27,167
He's got a lot of charisma.
That's The Lover!
1606
01:29:27,168 --> 01:29:30,169
And very agile at
getting back into the ring.
1607
01:29:31,539 --> 01:29:33,373
Ladies and Gentlemen,
1608
01:29:33,374 --> 01:29:35,709
this is the main event
of the evening.
1609
01:29:35,710 --> 01:29:39,713
Two out of three falls,
one hour time limit,
1610
01:29:39,714 --> 01:29:42,883
for the championship
of the world.
1611
01:29:42,884 --> 01:29:44,818
And your
main event referee,
1612
01:29:44,819 --> 01:29:51,426
former great,
U.S. Champion,
Count Billy Varga!
1613
01:29:52,862 --> 01:29:54,796
In this corner on my left,
1614
01:29:54,797 --> 01:29:57,699
from Washington, D.C.,
1615
01:29:57,700 --> 01:29:59,501
your favorite and mine,
1616
01:29:59,502 --> 01:30:04,139
the great, undefeated
world's champion,
1617
01:30:04,140 --> 01:30:08,510
Buddy Gibson!
1618
01:30:10,546 --> 01:30:12,447
And his opponent
on my right,
1619
01:30:12,448 --> 01:30:16,317
appearing in America
for the first time.
1620
01:30:16,318 --> 01:30:19,320
Self-proclaimed
by divine right
1621
01:30:19,321 --> 01:30:22,757
as the wrestling
champion of the world,
1622
01:30:22,758 --> 01:30:27,095
The Lover!
1623
01:30:37,174 --> 01:30:40,843
No biting, no gouging.
Go get 'em.
1624
01:30:40,844 --> 01:30:43,344
You understand?
1625
01:30:43,713 --> 01:30:47,449
Now, that's why they
call him The Lover.
1626
01:31:35,299 --> 01:31:37,444
Ohh! Oh, oh!
1627
01:31:37,468 --> 01:31:39,703
Ohh!
1628
01:31:44,875 --> 01:31:46,643
Andy, hurry up!
1629
01:31:46,644 --> 01:31:47,945
I'm coming,
Milton, I'm coming!
1630
01:31:47,946 --> 01:31:51,382
Come on!
Tomorrow morning,
10 a.m., Plaza Hotel.
1631
01:31:51,383 --> 01:31:52,783
I'll give you
a press conference.
1632
01:31:52,784 --> 01:31:55,586
I'll tell you everything!
Give him a chance!
1633
01:31:55,587 --> 01:31:56,754
Hey, where is he?
1634
01:31:56,755 --> 01:31:57,989
He's getting dressed.
1635
01:31:57,990 --> 01:31:58,589
Sidney!
1636
01:31:58,590 --> 01:32:01,392
Hey, kid,
I just saw a guy from
the Ed Sullivan show!
1637
01:32:01,393 --> 01:32:02,693
They want you
on the 23rd!
1638
01:32:02,694 --> 01:32:04,262
Everybody wants you!
1639
01:32:04,263 --> 01:32:05,640
You're a star!
1640
01:32:05,664 --> 01:32:07,732
Say it again!
I wanna hear it again!
1641
01:32:07,733 --> 01:32:08,799
You're a star!
1642
01:32:08,800 --> 01:32:11,302
Milton, you say it.
I wanna hear it
with an accent!
1643
01:32:11,303 --> 01:32:15,283
You're a star!
Get your ass out here!
1644
01:32:15,307 --> 01:32:16,340
Toncio!
1645
01:32:16,341 --> 01:32:18,376
Aha!
How do I look?
1646
01:32:18,377 --> 01:32:19,910
Unfortunately,
like my son.
1647
01:32:19,911 --> 01:32:22,179
Thank you.
1648
01:32:23,315 --> 01:32:24,382
Here's to you, kid!
1649
01:32:24,383 --> 01:32:27,363
Thank you.
This is worth millions!
1650
01:32:27,387 --> 01:32:30,422
Oh, God, I feel tall!
1651
01:32:30,523 --> 01:32:33,292
Here's to
your new height!
1652
01:32:34,427 --> 01:32:37,473
You got
everything now, kid!
1653
01:32:37,497 --> 01:32:40,866
Almost everything.
Okay, let's go.
1654
01:33:38,692 --> 01:33:40,793
Mary!
Oh, my God.
1655
01:33:40,794 --> 01:33:43,863
Oh, my God.
1656
01:33:44,431 --> 01:33:47,000
Here's your daddy.
1657
01:33:47,435 --> 01:33:49,347
Hello.
1658
01:33:49,371 --> 01:33:52,940
Hello. Yes.
1659
01:33:53,074 --> 01:33:54,908
Does this mean
that you're not mad?
1660
01:33:54,909 --> 01:33:57,611
Are you kidding?
1661
01:33:57,879 --> 01:34:00,814
Put down the kid.
1662
01:34:03,985 --> 01:34:05,552
Miss me?
1663
01:34:05,553 --> 01:34:07,531
I missed you.
1664
01:34:07,555 --> 01:34:09,823
I did.
1665
01:34:10,925 --> 01:34:12,092
Come here.
1666
01:34:12,093 --> 01:34:14,405
Yeah?
1667
01:34:14,429 --> 01:34:16,864
That's for leaving town
like a bank robber!
1668
01:34:16,865 --> 01:34:19,600
And that's for being
such an asshole
to your wife!
1669
01:34:19,601 --> 01:34:20,434
All right, hold it,
hold it, hold it.
1670
01:34:20,435 --> 01:34:23,737
I don't think that violence
is such a good thing
for a child to witness.
1671
01:34:23,738 --> 01:34:27,142
Shut up and take those
ridiculous clothes off.
1672
01:34:27,143 --> 01:34:28,543
And that stupid wig.
1673
01:34:28,544 --> 01:34:29,944
You're with
your wife now!
1674
01:34:29,945 --> 01:34:31,913
All right.
Here are the rules.
1675
01:34:31,914 --> 01:34:33,925
You do what
you have to do.
1676
01:34:33,949 --> 01:34:35,083
We'll have
midgets to dinner.
1677
01:34:35,084 --> 01:34:36,951
We'll have Indians
over for drinks.
1678
01:34:36,952 --> 01:34:38,853
But when you and I
are alone,
1679
01:34:38,854 --> 01:34:39,888
you're you and I'm me,
1680
01:34:39,889 --> 01:34:43,792
and Andrew gets to watch
two people in love
love each other.
1681
01:34:43,793 --> 01:34:46,094
It'll be good for him.
1682
01:34:46,829 --> 01:34:50,598
Take off those
stupid pants!
1683
01:34:56,138 --> 01:34:57,439
Fur lined!
1684
01:34:57,440 --> 01:35:00,909
Well, I have to feel the
part all the way down.
1685
01:35:01,577 --> 01:35:04,079
Come here, lover!
1686
01:35:07,717 --> 01:35:09,084
If there are panties
under there,
1687
01:35:09,085 --> 01:35:12,655
I'm going
back to Ohio.
1687
01:35:13,305 --> 01:36:13,263
api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please
implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com
116593
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
