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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,325
Stay.
3
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:33,133
Andy, I hear
you're very talented.
Yes.
4
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,809
Well, he certainly isn't
what you'd call shy.
5
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,477
He's got a lot of
confidence in himself.
6
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:47,080
Andy, would you
honor us with a song?
7
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,382
Mom, are there any
more people comin'?
8
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,517
No, Andy.
9
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:51,584
A regular entertainer!
10
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:54,521
Well, I think we're gonna
have another Eddie Cantor.
A lot of confidence!
11
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:57,323
Mr. Willingham,
I think you could
see better
12
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:58,458
if you moved
to that chair.
13
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,661
Mrs. Davis,
why don't you
come up front?
14
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,531
Mom, could you
turn off the big light
15
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,833
and just give me
the lamp in the corner.
16
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:09,436
Would you two
be seated, please?
17
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:12,072
Skags, I work alone.
18
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,740
(BARKS)
19
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:16,376
Hit it, Ma.
20
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,211
(PLAYING MUSIC)
21
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:21,481
♪ Mammy
22
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:25,285
♪ Mammy
23
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:28,321
♪ The sun shines east
24
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:30,256
♪ The sun shines west
25
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:34,160
♪ I know where
the sun shines best
26
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:35,862
♪ Mammy
27
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:36,763
Please pass
the cookies.
28
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,332
You want me to sing
or do you wanna talk?
29
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,266
(MUSIC STOPS)
30
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:42,802
Andy, you apologize
immediately!
31
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:45,305
I apologize.
Are you through talking?
32
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:46,439
Yes.
33
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,674
Good.
34
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:50,336
Yes! Don't I know you
from someplace?
35
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,706
Weren't you taller
and much older?
36
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:57,410
Tell me, do you ever
pick your nose?
37
00:02:58,611 --> 00:02:59,779
What?
38
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:02,482
Well, what I mean is,
39
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:05,285
I can't imagine anyone
as pretty as you are
40
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,853
ever picking your nose.
41
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,823
I pick.
42
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:14,227
I'd sure like to take you
to dinner some night.
43
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:17,363
Oh, well, this conversation
has made me hungry.
44
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,700
Why would you like to
take me to dinner?
45
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:25,471
Good food,
good conversation.
46
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,307
Perhaps some
pre-marital sex.
47
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,374
(STAMMERING)
48
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,710
Wha...what is this?
Who are you?
49
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,413
The one and only
Andy Schmidt!
50
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:34,747
Who are you?
51
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:37,817
Ah, the ever-popular
Mary Crawford.
52
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,486
And totally unavailable.
53
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:50,930
Wait a minute!
54
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:53,366
Wait one minute.
Wait a minute!
55
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:55,735
Is your mother
still good looking?
Yes. Why?
56
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,471
Because if I marry you,
I don't want an old bag
at age 46!
57
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,940
Have you ever
seen me in anything?
School play or anything?
58
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,008
Uh, no.
I'm terrific!
59
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,611
I've been taking acting
classes since I was 12.
60
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,879
I'm gonna be a star!
Or a fireman.
61
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,815
Are you sure?
About being a star?
62
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,284
Well, I have doubts.
Thursdays.
63
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,486
Look, I have to go
to rehearsal.
Where do you live?
64
00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:14,854
Uh, the Kappa house,
65
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,889
but I'm kind of
going with someone.
66
00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:19,025
Oh, whoever it is,
I like me better.
67
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,961
I can't wait
to kiss you!
68
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,597
See ya!
69
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,868
Don't worry
if you're a virgin!
70
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:32,472
Whatever goes on between us,
I keep my mouth shut!
71
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,681
All right, people!
People!
72
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:42,915
People!
73
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:43,916
(CLAPPING)
74
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,619
Oh, for Christ's sake,
will everyone just shut up?
75
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,787
All right now.
(CLAPPING)
76
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,555
Stop talking!
Quiet!
77
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:51,591
Shut up!
Quiet!
78
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:52,558
Shut up!
79
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:56,362
Schmidt!
You are the one
who's talking!
80
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,300
I think
you're right.
81
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,634
(ALL LAUGHING)
82
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:05,338
(SIGHS) Now, people,
this is your play.
83
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,906
If you want to
make it into a turd...
84
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,308
Let's see
a show of hands.
85
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,909
(ALL LAUGHING)
86
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,545
Mr. Schmidt, do you
wanna be in this play?
87
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,681
Oh, yes, I think
this turd needs me.
88
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:16,049
Look, one more word
out of you, Schmidt,
89
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,483
and you are
out of this play!
90
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,385
I will not have this!
Do you understand?
91
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,053
I'm sorry, Mr. Moses,
92
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,488
I was just trying to
keep the morale up.
93
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,490
Well, Mr. Schmidt,
94
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,993
since you are
so anxious to perform,
95
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,595
we'll run your scene
right now.
96
00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:32,598
Oh, have you memorized
your line, Mr. Schmidt?
97
00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,033
Yes, sir.
98
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:34,801
Good.
99
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,503
Arnold? Would you
and your entourage
100
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,472
be so good as to
cue Mr. Schmidt?
101
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:40,673
Perhaps then
we can excuse him
102
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,642
for his
football practice.
103
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:45,411
ARNOLD: All right, now,
places, people, places.
Let's go.
104
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,580
Get to your places, now.
Get ready for your cue.
105
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:51,451
Let's go. All right,
let's hear the drums.
106
00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:54,587
(DRUM ROLL PLAYING)
107
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,932
My country, I fear,
grows weary of me.
108
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,501
My lord, may I speak?
109
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,938
Hold it! Stop!
Where does it say,
110
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,539
"May I speak?"
111
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:16,008
(ACTORS CHUCKLING)
112
00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:17,643
Sir. Mr. Moses,
113
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:21,414
this man happens
to be in charge of
a very large country.
114
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:24,016
A guard doesn't just
go up and start talking.
115
00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:25,785
(ALL LAUGHING)
116
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:28,488
Schmidt! Do just
what is in the script!
117
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,924
Don't push me Schmidt, hmm?
118
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,693
Cue him again.
119
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:41,934
My country, I fear,
grows weary of me.
120
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:44,604
My lord...
121
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:50,810
Death would be an honor,
if death were serving you!
122
00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:52,879
(SOBBING)
123
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:00,486
You're crying.
Why are you crying?
124
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,489
Here I'm trying
to show that
125
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:06,492
the guys down
at the guardhouse
feel terrible for him.
126
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:07,660
(ALL LAUGHING)
127
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:09,662
It's something I've been
working on at home.
128
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,864
Schmidt, I don't want
the guards to cry.
129
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:15,067
How 'bout hollow laughter
showing frustration?
130
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,869
Huh, huh, huh, huh.
131
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,538
(ACTORS LAUGHING)
132
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,473
No laughs, no crying!
133
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:23,176
I guess urinating
on him is totally
out of the question.
134
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,978
(ACTORS LAUGHING)
135
00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:30,016
So, I have this degree
in sociology, and, um,
136
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,884
well, what do
I do with it?
137
00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:35,488
Open a sociology store!
Let's talk about me!
138
00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:38,624
You like yourself
very much, don't you?
139
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,560
I think I have
great taste!
140
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,196
Do people like you
ever get married?
141
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,766
I think your only
chance is to get me
before I'm successful.
142
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,035
You're a lunatic.
143
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:53,139
Lunatic? Lunatic?
144
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,041
I don't think
that's quite fair.
145
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,477
I might be a little
eccentric, perhaps.
146
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,745
Hold all my calls,
please!
147
00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:02,949
A lunatic is
someone who is
mentally disturbed.
148
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:04,550
Ah, insane, perhaps.
149
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,185
But in my case,
I think I'm just
150
00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:09,755
your regular guy
with regular quirks.
151
00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:12,091
I love carrots.
152
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,994
I was a rabbit
for several years.
153
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,663
Are you expecting
any more calls?
154
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,698
Isn't this fun?
155
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,867
Later, there's a good
chance we'll make love.
156
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:21,200
Andy.
Huh?
157
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,804
This is the first date
I've had with anyone
but Paul in 2 years.
158
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:28,708
I mean, I don't even
know why I'm here!
159
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,978
Mary, do you have
any idea who I am?
You?
160
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,614
Quick! Very quick!
Watch your tongue.
161
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,816
I happen to be
a big talent.
162
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:39,085
I can sing, dance,
act, tell jokes.
163
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,853
I can imitate anyone!
164
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,523
Paul's going to
be a doctor.
165
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,525
Paul's going to be a
member of the audience.
166
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,193
Everyone you ever meet,
except me,
167
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,896
is going to be a
member of the audience.
168
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:52,231
But on the side,
he'll be a doctor.
169
00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:55,067
(IMITATING GROUCHO MARX)
On the side,
he'll have a nurse.
170
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,636
I don't like
this conversation,
171
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,272
and I'm not sure
that I like you.
172
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,908
♪ Getting to know you
173
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:06,679
♪ Getting to know
all about you
174
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,282
♪ Getting to know you
175
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:12,919
♪ Getting to know
what to say
176
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,854
♪ Dum-de-dum
de-dum-de-dum
177
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:17,156
♪ Getting to like you
178
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:21,727
♪ Putting it my way
but nicely
179
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:28,334
♪ You are precisely
my cup of tea ♪
180
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,703
Ahem! Sir?
181
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,572
Everything is delicious!
182
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,640
♪ Haven't you noticed
183
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,110
♪ That suddenly
I'm bright and breezy ♪
184
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:41,881
Please! You may not
sing in here.
185
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,717
Ah, excuse me,
I didn't see the sign!
186
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:48,154
Well, this is
a restaurant.
Please?
187
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:48,921
Of course!
188
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:52,091
Not only are you insane,
but you're off-key.
189
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,225
But adorable, huh?
190
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:54,327
Should Paul
eat his heart out?
191
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,929
Ha! He's a doctor!
He can just cut it out!
192
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,998
Everybody, sing!
193
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:03,369
♪ Because of all
the beautiful and new
194
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:10,910
♪ Things I'm learning
about you
195
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,813
You're singing again.
196
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,047
♪ Day by day ♪
197
00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:19,785
He's sorry. Really.
He's trying to seduce me,
and, uh, he's young.
198
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,053
You must have
been young once,
199
00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:22,054
before you made
captain?
200
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:24,624
Heh! Goodbye!
Goodbye.
201
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:26,859
Would you like to
go to a motel?
202
00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:29,362
We don't have to
do anything.
We could just swim.
203
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:30,930
No!
204
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,965
No. Well, in that case,
205
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,667
you had the salad.
I had the peas.
206
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,837
With your share
of the tip, you owe...
207
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:46,379
Kids...
208
00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:50,716
Every one of you kids
is like my own son to me.
209
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:53,185
Win or lose today,
210
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:56,656
I want each and every one
of you to know how I feel.
211
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,158
Like your father.
That's really nice!
212
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,893
(ALL SNICKERING)
213
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:08,300
Now, guys, we are
playing a rough crew
out there today!
214
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,236
They're supposed
to be faster.
215
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,370
I read in the paper
this morning
216
00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:13,873
they're faster than
we are! Are they?
217
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,007
ALL: (SHOUTING) No!
218
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,743
We've got some
fast guys!
219
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:22,782
Schmidt, answer with
the rest of the team,
will you, please?
220
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,016
Check!
221
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:28,688
Some say they're bigger.
Well, maybe they are.
222
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,156
No!
223
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:32,024
(PLAYERS SNICKERING)
224
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:35,227
I'm sorry. I thought
we were all gonna
say "no" together.
225
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:36,095
(LAUGHING)
226
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:39,765
Please continue.
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Schmidt.
227
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,268
Well, some of them
are bigger.
228
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,471
But I always say,
the team that wants
to win the most,
229
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,440
is the team that
wins the most!
230
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,476
Now, goddamn it,
who wants this game more?
231
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,445
ALL: (SHOUTING) We do!
232
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:59,485
All right, now.
You're all my sons.
233
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:02,488
Now, go on out there
and win this one
for your father!
234
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:04,256
I wanna stomp
their asses!
235
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:06,425
I wanna kill those
bastards! I'm up!
236
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:07,493
If you don't sit down,
you asshole,
237
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,395
you probably won't
even get in the game!
238
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,297
Oh, yeah.
(LAUGHING)
239
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,865
Now let's go out there
and win this one!
240
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:15,868
You heard him!
Let's move it!
(ALL YELLING)
241
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,470
Move it! Hustle!
242
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,804
Hustle!
Let's go!
243
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:19,839
Move it out there!
244
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:20,873
Let's go!
Let's go!
245
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:21,841
Hustle!
Hustle, coach!
246
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,042
Get out there
and hustle!
247
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:24,176
Hustle! Hustle!
248
00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:26,345
Get your ass out there!
249
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,783
(CROWD CHEERING)
250
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:37,156
Coach, that
Ferguson's a killer!
251
00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:40,359
He's tearin' everybody
apart in there!
252
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,264
Hey, Schmidt!
253
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,134
Schmidt!
Come here!
254
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,068
Yes?
255
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,302
We need someone
to stop Ferguson.
256
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:52,838
Right. He's
gotta be stopped!
257
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,073
How about Jones?
Nobody likes him.
258
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,541
COACH: Goddamn it, Schmidt,
you get in there!
259
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,009
You play Ferguson!
260
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:58,844
Schmidt!
Put your helmet on!
261
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,946
My helmet! My helmet!
262
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:03,249
I'm in! I'm in!
263
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,283
Jerk!
264
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,219
ANNOUNCER: Now playing guard
for Ohio Southern,
265
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,221
Schmidt, number 33.
266
00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:11,891
(CROWD CHEERING)
267
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:16,028
All right,
you asked for it!
268
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:17,429
I'll take you on!
269
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,064
Get out of there!
270
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,269
PLAYER: All right,
let's go now, guys.
271
00:13:24,336 --> 00:13:26,105
(PLAYERS SHOUTING)
272
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,340
Ohio break!
Come on!
273
00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:29,909
Let's go. Let's go!
274
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,447
Set.
(PLAYERS SHOUTING)
275
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,117
Hike!
(PLAYERS SHOUTING)
276
00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:39,351
Hup. Hup.
277
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:40,986
(GRUNTING)
278
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,989
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
279
00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:48,160
(CROWD GASPING)
280
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,531
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
281
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:55,868
All right, get out there.
Go get him.
282
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:01,173
(BAND PLAYING MUSIC)
283
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,319
(GASPS)
284
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,463
(APPLAUSE)
285
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:32,171
Psst! Don't rush.
Don't rush!
286
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,249
I love where
your hand is.
287
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,118
I beg your pardon,
288
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:48,454
both of my hands
are around you.
289
00:14:50,522 --> 00:14:53,192
Excuse me.
It was my hand.
290
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:56,061
You even make jokes
when you're kissing.
291
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:59,265
Well, sure,
why shouldn't
necking be fun?
292
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,034
Even faking a football
injury's fun, huh?
293
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:03,269
And scaring me
half to death?
294
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,271
I wasn't faking.
I was acting.
295
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:06,906
That was a
great performance.
296
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,407
Did you see
that audience?
297
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,975
Did they love me?
298
00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:12,611
Are you acting
all the time?
299
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,314
How 'bout when
you're kissing me?
300
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:17,116
Is that acting?
301
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:21,186
Is this conversation
a part of the act?
302
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:26,258
Who the hell
are you, really?
303
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,560
Mary, listen to me.
304
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:32,298
What's inside me is
too strong to control.
305
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:35,000
Is it too strong
or are you too weak?
306
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,003
Who do you think you are,
criticizing me?
307
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,039
What I am is great!
308
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:42,975
I know it and you're
afraid of it!
309
00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:45,244
You better be great.
310
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:48,380
You're the most insecure
person I've ever met.
311
00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:55,487
Get out.
312
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:08,167
(ENGINE STARTING)
313
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:18,711
Aw, get in!
You're acting
like a child!
314
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,725
Mary, I'm under
a lot of pressure.
315
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:35,160
I just wanted to
talk to you.
316
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,495
I'm sorry.
317
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:39,198
I'm the wrong person.
318
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:41,600
You need help.
319
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:43,369
Do me a favor,
320
00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,204
and don't ever try
to take me out again.
321
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,740
You're only fun
as a stranger.
322
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:49,608
Get out.
323
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:52,478
If I get out,
I'm not gonna
get back in.
324
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,646
I'll take that chance.
325
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:14,299
All right,
marry your doctor!
326
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:17,770
Do you think I need
a middle-class broad
like you holding me back?
327
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:21,340
You can tell your kids
you once dated a star!
328
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:30,382
Car trouble?
329
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:34,453
No. I'm an enormously
talented young actor.
330
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:36,555
I sing, I dance,
I do impersonations,
331
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,158
and she wants to be
with some doctor!
332
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:40,492
We're not getting along.
333
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:41,593
I threw her
outta the car,
334
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:42,795
but I can't
leave her here.
335
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,430
You don't have
car trouble?
336
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,231
No. I'm headed
for New York
337
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,100
as soon as this
school year is over.
338
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,501
I'm talkin'
about Broadway.
339
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:50,636
I have offers, you know.
340
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,671
Could you take me
back to the campus?
341
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:53,472
He's nuts.
342
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:55,441
You see what I mean?
Why am I with her?
343
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:56,508
I thought
she was different.
344
00:17:56,508 --> 00:18:00,145
Uh, could you
just keep quiet?
Typical!
345
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,713
I'll drive you
to the campus.
346
00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:04,083
Harold, this
could be dangerous!
347
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,651
No, just boring.
348
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,152
Get in.
349
00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:10,556
Here, I'll say
good night here.
350
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,492
There you go.
351
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:15,727
Drive safely!
352
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:17,663
For sure.
Okay.
353
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:19,798
Bye-bye!
354
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:22,234
I'll call ya!
355
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,203
(TRUMPET PLAYING OFF-KEY )
356
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:27,172
Does that sound
like Harry James?
357
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:28,440
No.
358
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:30,309
Andy.
Yeah?
359
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:31,777
Did you see the
school paper today?
360
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,378
Was my name
mentioned?
361
00:18:33,378 --> 00:18:34,780
No.
Forget it.
362
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,149
I guess you don't
know that
363
00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:40,719
Mary Crawford got engaged
to Paul Harris last night.
364
00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:42,888
No, I didn't see that.
365
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:47,392
Gosh! I'm so
happy for her.
366
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:50,829
I'm sorry, Andy.
367
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:53,732
Eddie,
where am I going?
Broadway.
368
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:55,767
What am I going to be?
A star.
369
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:57,136
Do I need her?
No.
370
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,538
I love her,
you asshole!
371
00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:04,510
Mary, I'm so happy.
372
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:08,347
I'm glad now that we
decided to wait to uh...
373
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,382
Uh...
374
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,352
You know.
375
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:18,157
Paul, why don't
we just...
376
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,658
Go out tonight
and get drunk?
377
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,627
Just be funny and crazy
with each other.
378
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:24,930
I mean, we'll never
be as young
as we are tonight.
379
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,766
Yes, that would be
a lot of fun,
380
00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:30,602
but I have classes
tomorrow morning
starting at 8:00,
381
00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:32,304
and you don't drink.
382
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,640
That's another thing
I'm waiting to do.
383
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,575
Mary!
384
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:37,910
Oh, Christ!
385
00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:41,647
I have to talk to you!
386
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,549
Uh, pardon me,
I don't think I know you.
387
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:47,252
I'm Andy.
Are you Paul?
388
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,520
Yes.
389
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,955
(LAUGHING)
390
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,534
Uh, uh,
what's so funny?
391
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:04,469
Ah, he thinks
everything's funny.
392
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:05,938
He's crazy.
393
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:07,639
He's the doctor?
394
00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:08,974
(LAUGHING)
395
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:12,444
Excuse me, here...
396
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:15,747
I just expected more
from the way
she described you.
397
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:17,349
No offense!
398
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:18,483
Mary, who is this?
399
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:21,253
I told you, I'm Andy.
I'm her lover.
400
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,721
You must be
the boyfriend.
401
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,856
I can't tell you
how relieved I am
402
00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:27,626
that you turned out
like this.
403
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:29,228
Now look, fella,
I can take a joke
404
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:29,962
just as well
as the next guy.
405
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,264
Uh, Andy, Paul and I
just got engaged.
406
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:34,866
I heard!
Congratulations!
Why, thank you.
407
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:37,903
We're still gonna spend
the weekends together,
though, aren't we?
408
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,471
Don't worry.
409
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:40,973
It's only physical.
410
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:45,744
Now, look!
Am I making you angry?
Puff once if it's yes.
411
00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:47,613
Mary, please,
would you...
412
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,014
Uh, Paul,
I'll call you tomorrow.
413
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,950
Andy, uh...
Andy, goodbye.
414
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,385
Goodbye, Mary.
415
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:54,453
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
416
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:55,587
Bye.
Go! Go away.
417
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:56,655
Just a minute, you!
418
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:57,923
You! You, you...
419
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,591
You put 'em up!
I don't wanna
put 'em up!
420
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,660
Why?
Because I'm chicken,
that's why!
421
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:02,761
(IMITATES CHICKEN)
422
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,529
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
423
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,406
You can't go up there!
424
00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:16,408
It's okay.
I had a sister.
425
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:18,644
(GASPS)
426
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:21,413
Young man! You may
not come upstairs!
427
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:22,781
Get outta my way!
Oh!
428
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,284
Young man, I'm going
to call the police!
429
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,486
I'm going to
call the police!
430
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:28,887
Uh, Mary's
in that room.
431
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,455
Oh, you certainly
take the shape
432
00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,823
right outta that towel!
433
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:33,625
(GIRLS LAUGH)
434
00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:56,882
(SIGHS)
435
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,917
Police will
be here soon.
436
00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:00,385
Yeah.
437
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:07,926
I really like you,
you son-of-a-gun.
438
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:12,831
(LAUGHS) Yeah,
I guess you do.
439
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:15,400
You'll probably be
expelled for this.
440
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,902
I was upset!
441
00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:19,004
My girl got engaged
to a pipe!
442
00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:22,107
Yeah, they'll be
satisfied with that.
443
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,076
Is that your mother
and father?
444
00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:25,844
Yes. They'd hate you.
445
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:27,045
I know.
446
00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:32,818
What's his name?
Willy.
447
00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:34,686
Do you love him?
448
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:37,923
Only when it rains.
Otherwise, I throw him
on the floor.
449
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:39,358
I'm afraid of the rain...
450
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:42,828
And thunder and lightning
and most everything else.
451
00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:45,030
God, I wish you were sane.
452
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:48,100
If I was sane,
would I be
in this room?
453
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,470
If we got married,
when it wasn't raining,
454
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,472
would you throw me
on the floor?
455
00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:57,843
No, if we got married,
I'd always be scared.
456
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:01,012
Are your mother
and father nuts?
457
00:23:01,012 --> 00:23:02,481
No.
458
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:06,618
They were killed
in a car crash
when I was 12.
459
00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:08,620
Don't say
you're sorry.
460
00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:11,690
Okay, but I am sorry.
461
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:14,793
What if I told you I was
driving the other car?
462
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,163
I'd say you're
so very sad...
463
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:22,100
And so very funny.
464
00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,671
Which I happen to love.
465
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:32,043
Everybody, I want plenty
of energy tonight.
466
00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:34,746
Remember, I want it
from everybody!
Oh, Schmidt!
467
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,449
Well, I see they
let you out of jail.
How did you like it?
468
00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:40,185
I think it's very
nice that criminals
have a place to go.
469
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:41,853
Yes, I'm surprised
they didn't expel you.
470
00:23:41,853 --> 00:23:44,423
They don't expel you
for being in love.
471
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,491
(DRUM ROLL PLAYING)
472
00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:57,702
My country, I fear,
grows weary of me.
473
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:03,775
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
474
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,959
Say the line!
475
00:24:21,526 --> 00:24:23,061
ANDY: My lord...
476
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:25,630
Death.
477
00:24:28,066 --> 00:24:30,602
Yes. Death!
478
00:24:30,602 --> 00:24:31,937
Death...
479
00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:36,174
Would be an honor.
480
00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:39,544
Look at that, one line!
He's making a production
of one line!
481
00:24:39,611 --> 00:24:42,781
If death...
482
00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:49,087
Were serving you!
483
00:24:49,087 --> 00:24:50,822
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
484
00:24:57,062 --> 00:24:59,764
Thank God.
He's finished.
485
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:02,701
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
486
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,240
(GRUNTS)
487
00:25:09,074 --> 00:25:10,275
(LAUGHING)
488
00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:17,716
I am killed!
489
00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:20,952
(APPLAUSE)
490
00:25:24,656 --> 00:25:27,626
Thank you!
491
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:29,261
(APPLAUSE)
492
00:25:32,764 --> 00:25:33,999
Oh.
493
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,801
What a night!
494
00:25:38,003 --> 00:25:41,740
First I kill 'em
at the play,
and now this.
495
00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:44,009
Mmm-mmm-mmm!
496
00:25:44,009 --> 00:25:45,110
Every night I go to bed
497
00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:48,947
and pray that
I won't be in love
with you the next day.
498
00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:50,048
Did you know that?
499
00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:51,850
Sure. God told me.
500
00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:53,218
Forget it.
You're hooked.
501
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:56,855
Yeah, I guess
we're both in love
with the same person.
502
00:25:56,855 --> 00:25:58,557
Isn't that wonderful?
503
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,158
It's terrific.
504
00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:02,928
Andy?
Hmm?
505
00:26:03,628 --> 00:26:04,596
Have you ever noticed
506
00:26:04,596 --> 00:26:07,799
that you've never said
that you love me?
507
00:26:07,999 --> 00:26:10,335
I came to this
motel with you.
508
00:26:10,335 --> 00:26:12,270
What do you want?
509
00:26:13,171 --> 00:26:15,173
You're not laughing.
510
00:26:15,173 --> 00:26:19,744
Of course I love you,
you old son-of-a-gun!
511
00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:21,279
As much as you
love yourself?
512
00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:24,916
Well, in a different way.
It's apples and oranges.
513
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,919
You don't laugh much
when you're naked, do you?
514
00:26:28,053 --> 00:26:29,588
(CHUCKLES)
515
00:26:30,855 --> 00:26:32,891
I feel undressed
when I'm naked.
516
00:26:32,891 --> 00:26:34,159
I see.
517
00:26:38,229 --> 00:26:41,366
Mary, I was great
on stage tonight.
518
00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,335
I was, wasn't I?
519
00:26:45,036 --> 00:26:47,072
Yes, you were great.
520
00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:53,078
You almost ruined the play,
but, uh, you were great.
521
00:26:53,078 --> 00:26:55,347
Did you hear that crowd?
522
00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:57,649
That's what
it's all about,
523
00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:59,217
getting that crowd
to love you.
524
00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:01,620
They didn't want to
see that lousy play.
525
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,054
They wanted to laugh.
526
00:27:03,088 --> 00:27:04,823
Mary, I can
make 'em laugh.
527
00:27:04,823 --> 00:27:05,857
I can make 'em laugh!
528
00:27:05,857 --> 00:27:08,693
I can make 'em
do anything I want.
529
00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:12,664
You'll never know
how that feels.
530
00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:15,367
What about the play
you almost ruined?
531
00:27:15,867 --> 00:27:18,670
In a month,
we'll be in New York.
We?
532
00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:20,005
We'll get married, okay?
533
00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:23,842
Okay.
534
00:27:23,842 --> 00:27:25,910
There's Broadway,
movies, television.
535
00:27:25,910 --> 00:27:30,081
I bet I'll be working
two weeks after
we get to New York.
536
00:27:30,749 --> 00:27:32,884
Mary, we'll be great!
537
00:27:37,288 --> 00:27:39,958
Have I told you
I love you?
538
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:45,797
Oh, God. Why him?
539
00:28:05,083 --> 00:28:06,818
(MOUTHING)
540
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,290
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
541
00:28:19,898 --> 00:28:20,765
Mary!
542
00:28:20,765 --> 00:28:22,834
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Daddy.
543
00:28:22,834 --> 00:28:25,737
Hi, honey.
Oh, and you
must be Andy.
544
00:28:25,737 --> 00:28:26,805
Mom!
545
00:28:26,805 --> 00:28:28,039
Mom!
546
00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:29,107
May I call you Mom?
547
00:28:29,107 --> 00:28:31,342
Well, uh...
Mom!
548
00:28:32,977 --> 00:28:35,180
And you must be Dad!
549
00:28:36,081 --> 00:28:37,449
Dad!
550
00:28:37,749 --> 00:28:41,219
It's nice to meet you.
You can call me Tom.
551
00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:42,987
Tom and Mom.
552
00:28:42,987 --> 00:28:45,824
I really like that.
I really do!
553
00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:48,893
And you must be
brother, huh? Huh?
554
00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:51,129
Yes, Andy, this is
my brother, Sherman.
555
00:28:51,129 --> 00:28:52,831
Sherman? Really?
Sherman?
556
00:28:52,831 --> 00:28:56,968
(LAUGHS) I had a
hamster named Sherman.
557
00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,938
Sherman was my
father's name,
558
00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:01,306
may he rest
in peace.
559
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:02,407
Oh, of course,
of course.
560
00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:04,209
Death is such
a terrible tragedy.
561
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:06,144
I mean, my Sherman
died, too.
562
00:29:07,178 --> 00:29:09,214
I don't mean to
compare the two, I...
563
00:29:09,214 --> 00:29:11,149
Uh, well, you were
a little late,
564
00:29:11,149 --> 00:29:13,084
so dinner is ready.
565
00:29:14,119 --> 00:29:18,857
Mom, Tom, let's eat!
What's on?
566
00:29:23,895 --> 00:29:26,364
Let's put our cards
on the table.
567
00:29:27,031 --> 00:29:28,333
You look at me
and you wonder,
568
00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:31,770
what kind of life
is your daughter
gonna lead, hmm?
569
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,838
Yes, that's right.
To be blunt.
570
00:29:33,838 --> 00:29:36,141
Yes. Let's be blunt.
Let's bring it out.
571
00:29:36,141 --> 00:29:37,208
Let's talk about it.
572
00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:39,210
Now, you're
worried that Mary
is gonna end up
573
00:29:39,210 --> 00:29:42,113
starving in some
rat-infested garret
in New York.
574
00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,548
Or turning to alcohol.
575
00:29:43,548 --> 00:29:46,050
Or possibly prostitution.
576
00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,552
Oh, Andy!
Yeah?
577
00:29:47,552 --> 00:29:50,922
We don't even think
things like that!
578
00:29:50,922 --> 00:29:52,490
ANDY: Mom, you don't have to.
579
00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:54,392
Because your daughter
is marrying a person
580
00:29:54,392 --> 00:29:57,061
who is going to take
very good care of her!
581
00:29:57,061 --> 00:29:59,964
I happen to be
wonderfully gifted!
582
00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:02,167
Watch this.
(DISH RATTLES)
583
00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:03,802
Excuse me.
584
00:30:07,138 --> 00:30:09,874
(IMITATING JAMES CAGNEY)
You dirty, dirty rat.
585
00:30:10,074 --> 00:30:12,010
You've got my sister.
586
00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,545
You've got my mother.
587
00:30:13,545 --> 00:30:15,113
That's great!
588
00:30:15,446 --> 00:30:16,214
Wait until I'm
finished, Sherman.
589
00:30:16,214 --> 00:30:18,817
First time the kid talks,
right in the middle
of my act!
590
00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:21,052
Where was I?
591
00:30:21,052 --> 00:30:22,420
"You got my mother."
592
00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:23,955
Thanks.
593
00:30:24,289 --> 00:30:26,424
(CONTINUES IMITATING)
You got my mother...
594
00:30:26,424 --> 00:30:28,593
But you ain't
gonna get me!
595
00:30:28,593 --> 00:30:30,295
Top of the world, Ma.
596
00:30:30,295 --> 00:30:32,564
Ma, oh!
(IMITATES GUNFIRE)
597
00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:34,065
They got me!
598
00:30:34,065 --> 00:30:35,300
(IMITATES GUNFIRE)
599
00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:36,901
(CRASH)
600
00:30:37,602 --> 00:30:40,438
Uh, Andy, uh, could...
If we could just, you know,
601
00:30:40,438 --> 00:30:42,006
please eat now.
602
00:30:42,006 --> 00:30:44,242
You sounded just like him.
603
00:30:44,242 --> 00:30:46,544
Yeah, watch this, Ma.
Watch this!
604
00:30:46,544 --> 00:30:48,179
You're gonna love it!
605
00:30:49,314 --> 00:30:51,449
(IMITATING PETER LORRE)
Those eyes...
606
00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:54,285
They keep winking
and blinking.
607
00:30:54,285 --> 00:30:55,486
Peter Lorre!
608
00:30:56,254 --> 00:30:57,455
Good, Sherman.
609
00:30:57,488 --> 00:30:59,991
(CONTINUES IMITATING)
Winking and blinking.
610
00:30:59,991 --> 00:31:02,126
I have to kill myself.
611
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,229
That's what I must do.
612
00:31:04,429 --> 00:31:08,366
(CHOKING)
613
00:31:10,935 --> 00:31:12,003
Oh!
614
00:31:12,003 --> 00:31:14,172
Oh!
Are you crazy?
615
00:31:18,443 --> 00:31:19,577
I'm sorry.
616
00:31:19,577 --> 00:31:21,512
Don't worry about it.
I mean, you know,
617
00:31:21,512 --> 00:31:23,381
it's only
my mother and father.
618
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:26,084
Are we still
getting married?
619
00:31:26,451 --> 00:31:27,986
We have to.
620
00:31:28,152 --> 00:31:31,489
I'm too embarrassed
to have you as a date.
621
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,561
Closet.
622
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:12,263
Kitchen.
623
00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:13,698
Bed.
624
00:32:14,165 --> 00:32:15,533
Oh, Mary!
625
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:17,135
Mary.
626
00:32:19,170 --> 00:32:21,205
This is New York!
We're here!
627
00:32:21,205 --> 00:32:23,708
The, uh...
Window doesn't open.
628
00:32:23,708 --> 00:32:25,543
A lot of people
break it.
629
00:32:25,543 --> 00:32:27,011
This is perfect!
630
00:32:27,011 --> 00:32:29,647
This is where
it'll all start!
631
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,686
Andy Schmidt's
my name.
632
00:32:34,686 --> 00:32:38,056
Oh? My name is,
uh, Dominic Manza.
633
00:32:38,056 --> 00:32:39,390
Uh, the reason he
told you his name
634
00:32:39,390 --> 00:32:42,660
is 'cause he's gonna be
a big star in this town.
635
00:32:42,660 --> 00:32:44,062
I'm pleased.
636
00:32:44,062 --> 00:32:46,164
And the bathroom's
down the hall.
637
00:32:46,164 --> 00:32:48,433
You'll be sharing it
with 5 other stars.
638
00:32:48,433 --> 00:32:51,602
Great. Dom,
thank you.
639
00:32:51,602 --> 00:32:54,739
Why don't you go buy
yourself a cigar?
640
00:32:55,373 --> 00:32:57,041
Bye-bye.
(DOOR CLOSES)
641
00:32:57,041 --> 00:32:58,209
ANDY: Times Square,
Sardi's, Lindy's...
642
00:32:58,209 --> 00:33:01,279
We're close to all of 'em!
Oh! Is this my town?
643
00:33:01,279 --> 00:33:03,081
Is this my town?
644
00:33:03,081 --> 00:33:04,615
Do I love it?
I love it!
645
00:33:04,615 --> 00:33:06,384
I love New York!
Me, too.
646
00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:08,152
Oh, me, too!
647
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,756
I know that
you're scared now,
648
00:33:11,756 --> 00:33:13,424
but just wait.
649
00:33:13,424 --> 00:33:14,759
Trust me?
Yeah.
650
00:33:14,759 --> 00:33:15,994
Yeah.
651
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:18,596
Let's eat in
New York, huh?
652
00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:22,166
Oh, my God!
It's Sardi's!
653
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:25,737
No, no, Sardi's!
All the great actors
eat in Sardi's!
654
00:33:26,404 --> 00:33:29,173
It looks very
expensive, Andy.
655
00:33:30,575 --> 00:33:32,677
We should
definitely eat there.
656
00:33:33,444 --> 00:33:34,645
Hold it!
(TIRES SCREECH)
657
00:33:34,645 --> 00:33:37,115
(HORN BLARES)
Hold it.
658
00:33:52,663 --> 00:33:54,432
The captain will
take your order, sir.
659
00:33:54,432 --> 00:33:57,235
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
660
00:33:58,603 --> 00:33:59,804
Jack!
661
00:34:01,572 --> 00:34:02,740
Hi, Martin.
662
00:34:02,740 --> 00:34:05,510
Did you know that
Jack is here?
663
00:34:05,743 --> 00:34:08,446
What're you doing?
Susie, love ya.
664
00:34:08,446 --> 00:34:10,181
You don't know anyone.
665
00:34:10,181 --> 00:34:11,649
They don't know that.
666
00:34:11,649 --> 00:34:13,751
Hi, Mildred.
(LAUGHS)
667
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:19,057
Andy, um, why don't
we just order, uh,
668
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:20,224
a piece of cake
and some coffee?
669
00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:22,660
I mean, we only have
$600 to our name.
670
00:34:22,660 --> 00:34:24,162
Do you know
that we are sitting
671
00:34:24,162 --> 00:34:26,664
right under
Eddie Cantor's picture?
672
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,135
Someday...
I know.
673
00:34:31,135 --> 00:34:32,270
And some kid
from Ohio
674
00:34:32,270 --> 00:34:34,405
will be sitting
right here.
675
00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:35,740
I know.
676
00:34:39,110 --> 00:34:42,313
You know,
all those years
677
00:34:42,313 --> 00:34:44,682
when I daydreamed
by myself?
678
00:34:44,782 --> 00:34:46,751
It's so much better
with you.
679
00:34:46,818 --> 00:34:48,486
Thank you.
680
00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:51,456
'Cause now, when I
stop daydreaming,
681
00:34:51,456 --> 00:34:53,424
I'm not by myself.
682
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,594
Oh, we're terrific!
683
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,163
My problems are
your problems now.
684
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,698
I love that!
685
00:35:01,532 --> 00:35:03,434
What about my problems?
686
00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:06,471
Oh, for the first
20 years, we'll do
my problems.
687
00:35:06,471 --> 00:35:08,339
I have to go
to the bathroom.
688
00:35:08,339 --> 00:35:09,774
Remember that.
689
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:13,544
First time I peed
in New York City
was at Sardi's.
690
00:35:13,544 --> 00:35:15,513
That's great
for the biography.
691
00:35:17,849 --> 00:35:21,586
Very good to
see you again!
Yes, indeed. Ha!
692
00:35:26,691 --> 00:35:28,726
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
693
00:35:29,327 --> 00:35:30,595
Hello?
694
00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:34,732
Mom, I told you
not to call me here!
695
00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:37,869
Mom, I'm fine!
696
00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:40,471
I want you to
stop saying that.
697
00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:42,206
Uh, Mrs. Schmidt?
698
00:35:42,206 --> 00:35:43,608
Is that
a personal call?
699
00:35:43,608 --> 00:35:45,743
Oh, no. No, it isn't.
700
00:35:47,245 --> 00:35:50,515
Mom, I can't talk now.
701
00:35:52,216 --> 00:35:56,354
Six months is nothing
to get a job as an actor!
702
00:35:58,422 --> 00:36:01,626
No! Andy never
gets discouraged.
703
00:36:03,427 --> 00:36:05,897
Mom, stop crying!
704
00:36:06,397 --> 00:36:08,866
(SOBS) Mom,
please stop crying!
705
00:36:08,866 --> 00:36:10,701
I'm very happy!
706
00:36:11,435 --> 00:36:12,436
Aw, Mom!
707
00:36:12,436 --> 00:36:15,840
Um, Mrs. Schmidt,
is that a personal call?
708
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,443
No. Could I...could I
just have some privacy?
709
00:36:20,478 --> 00:36:22,880
The woman's crying.
To me, that's personal.
710
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:27,451
Mom, please, don't worry.
We're fine!
711
00:36:28,819 --> 00:36:30,888
I love him, you know?
712
00:36:31,222 --> 00:36:32,857
(CLOCK TICKING)
713
00:36:33,891 --> 00:36:36,194
ANDY: Are you asleep?
714
00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:39,230
No.
715
00:36:39,630 --> 00:36:42,200
You sure?
I'm positive.
716
00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:48,539
I wouldn't dream this.
717
00:36:48,673 --> 00:36:51,809
Yeah. Isn't it great?
718
00:36:51,809 --> 00:36:53,411
We're young,
we're starving,
719
00:36:53,411 --> 00:36:55,580
we're living in filth.
720
00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:57,582
I never read about
anyone that made it
721
00:36:57,582 --> 00:36:59,417
that didn't have
this first.
722
00:37:00,751 --> 00:37:02,553
It's very nice.
723
00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:06,591
How long does it
usually last?
724
00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:12,563
You're scared, huh?
725
00:37:15,299 --> 00:37:16,601
Who, me?
726
00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:19,537
(SIGHS)
727
00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:22,974
Yeah.
728
00:37:24,609 --> 00:37:26,844
How come you
never get scared?
729
00:37:26,844 --> 00:37:30,748
I see that I'm so
close to so many jobs.
730
00:37:30,848 --> 00:37:32,850
It's just
a matter of days.
731
00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:34,252
Oh.
732
00:37:38,456 --> 00:37:40,458
What are you scared of?
733
00:37:42,627 --> 00:37:44,629
That I'll lose you.
734
00:37:46,464 --> 00:37:47,698
Never.
735
00:37:49,734 --> 00:37:51,602
But never!
736
00:37:52,536 --> 00:37:53,704
Hmm?
737
00:37:57,708 --> 00:37:59,043
(SIGHS)
738
00:38:01,512 --> 00:38:04,015
I'm also scared that
I'll stay with you.
739
00:38:04,649 --> 00:38:05,983
(LAUGHS)
740
00:38:07,318 --> 00:38:09,053
And I'm pregnant.
741
00:38:10,655 --> 00:38:12,790
With a kid?
Yep.
742
00:38:14,492 --> 00:38:15,826
Oh, my God!
743
00:38:17,328 --> 00:38:18,029
Does it hurt?
744
00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:21,766
Well, you want me to
get you a chair?
A glass of water?
745
00:38:21,766 --> 00:38:23,000
Andy?
Yeah?
746
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,802
Listen. I mean,
it's gonna be
747
00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:28,406
the most normal thing that
you and I've ever done.
748
00:38:33,444 --> 00:38:34,712
Hello.
749
00:38:34,945 --> 00:38:36,514
(KISSING)
750
00:38:41,752 --> 00:38:43,788
May I help you?
(IN THICK ITALIAN ACCENT)
Buongiorno.
751
00:38:43,788 --> 00:38:44,989
I am Roberto Capellini.
752
00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:47,591
I've come here to
see Michael Schuyler,
you know?
753
00:38:47,591 --> 00:38:49,093
Now we must do it
very rapidly, please,
754
00:38:49,093 --> 00:38:51,062
because I must
take a plane to Roma.
755
00:38:51,062 --> 00:38:52,096
Subito! Subito.
Ah, yes.
756
00:38:52,096 --> 00:38:55,399
Mr. Capellini, do you
have an appointment?
757
00:38:55,399 --> 00:38:57,902
How dare you?
I bite my thumb at you!
758
00:38:57,902 --> 00:38:58,869
Now, please, I have
no time for this.
759
00:38:58,869 --> 00:39:00,104
You buzz the buzzer,
I go into the room.
760
00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:03,407
Here I go.
Okay. Uh, yes, wait just
a moment, please.
761
00:39:04,775 --> 00:39:08,346
Lucy, is Mr. Schuyler
expecting a Mr. Capellini?
762
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:11,449
(BANGS ON DESK)
No one expects me!
763
00:39:11,449 --> 00:39:12,583
When I walk
into their office,
764
00:39:12,583 --> 00:39:14,752
how do they say
in your country,
765
00:39:14,752 --> 00:39:16,821
they are overjoyed!
766
00:39:19,857 --> 00:39:21,759
I'm very sorry.
He's in a meeting.
767
00:39:21,759 --> 00:39:25,029
He will not see the great
Roberto Capellini?
768
00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:25,963
Then will he see
769
00:39:25,963 --> 00:39:27,031
(AS ANDY)
Andy Schmidt?
770
00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:29,667
The one and only?
(LAUGHS)
771
00:39:29,667 --> 00:39:31,569
(LAUGHS)
Funny, huh?
772
00:39:31,569 --> 00:39:34,038
Look, I'm a very
talented actor!
773
00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:36,774
Except that
I'm starving!
774
00:39:36,774 --> 00:39:37,908
My pants don't
fit anymore!
775
00:39:37,908 --> 00:39:41,078
I call Michael Schuyler
about 20 times a day.
776
00:39:41,078 --> 00:39:43,047
He's always
in a meeting!
777
00:39:43,581 --> 00:39:45,850
Look, I'll see
what I can do.
778
00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:47,017
Yes!
779
00:39:47,017 --> 00:39:48,819
Thanks!
780
00:39:53,491 --> 00:39:55,559
His secretary's
away from her desk.
781
00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:56,527
I'll wait.
782
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:58,429
Hi, Doris.
Hi, Milton.
783
00:39:58,429 --> 00:40:00,698
I'd like to see
Mike Schuyler, please.
784
00:40:00,698 --> 00:40:02,800
I take it
you're in radio.
785
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,068
Tell him
where I hit.
786
00:40:04,068 --> 00:40:05,603
Don't mess with him.
787
00:40:05,603 --> 00:40:08,072
Milton, you need
an appointment.
788
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:11,041
You know I'd do
anything I could for you.
789
00:40:12,643 --> 00:40:13,878
You feel anything?
790
00:40:13,878 --> 00:40:16,447
(LAUGHS)
Oh, you actors!
791
00:40:16,447 --> 00:40:18,949
I have a coffee table
at home that isn't
dating anyone.
792
00:40:18,949 --> 00:40:20,050
You're getting
me steamed!
793
00:40:20,050 --> 00:40:21,652
Let me try
Mr. Schuyler's
office again.
794
00:40:21,652 --> 00:40:24,789
Yeah, and remember
who came here first.
795
00:40:25,689 --> 00:40:27,858
You know, you're
the spitting image
of my cousin.
796
00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:29,493
He's almost
toilet trained.
797
00:40:29,693 --> 00:40:32,730
Mr. Schuyler can't see
either of you today.
798
00:40:32,730 --> 00:40:33,964
ANDY: Thanks a lot.
799
00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:39,837
Hey! You want
a cup of coffee?
800
00:40:39,837 --> 00:40:41,705
Who's talking?
801
00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:42,807
Oh.
802
00:40:42,807 --> 00:40:44,875
We get to know
each other.
803
00:40:44,875 --> 00:40:46,210
You're funny.
804
00:40:47,845 --> 00:40:49,013
(SIGHS)
805
00:40:49,013 --> 00:40:51,048
I'm sorry about
the short jokes.
806
00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:51,882
Thank you.
807
00:40:51,882 --> 00:40:53,717
I'm very sensitive,
actually.
808
00:40:53,717 --> 00:40:56,187
There is a lot more to me
than being a midget.
809
00:40:56,487 --> 00:40:59,056
Where is it?
I'm sorry, uh,
810
00:40:59,590 --> 00:41:02,226
let's have that cup
of coffee, Milton.
811
00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:04,929
I'm on to some
very big things.
812
00:41:04,929 --> 00:41:07,198
Josh Logan,
called me up.
813
00:41:07,598 --> 00:41:08,833
Uh, Kazan likes me
very much.
814
00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:11,202
It's all gonna happen
in a matter of days.
815
00:41:11,535 --> 00:41:14,171
My career is in
the shithouse, too.
816
00:41:16,207 --> 00:41:17,875
You're very perceptive.
817
00:41:18,242 --> 00:41:20,478
I'm a very good actor.
All I need is a break.
818
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:23,747
Well, maybe someday
they'll do "Death of
a Short Salesman".
819
00:41:24,248 --> 00:41:25,683
Don't get sensitive.
820
00:41:25,683 --> 00:41:26,617
I'm starving, too.
821
00:41:26,617 --> 00:41:28,786
You have to be crazy
to be in this business!
822
00:41:28,786 --> 00:41:29,954
Do you know,
sometimes I think,
823
00:41:29,954 --> 00:41:32,823
why do I have to be
so talented?
824
00:41:32,823 --> 00:41:34,258
You?
I always think that.
825
00:41:34,258 --> 00:41:35,993
I mean, why couldn't
I be a barber, huh?
826
00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:37,094
Why couldn't I be
a dentist?
827
00:41:37,094 --> 00:41:39,263
No, I've gotta be
incredibly gifted!
828
00:41:39,263 --> 00:41:40,698
It's a curse!
829
00:41:40,731 --> 00:41:41,866
You? What about me?
830
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:43,133
You think my wife
wants this?
831
00:41:43,133 --> 00:41:44,134
Do you know
what it's like
832
00:41:44,134 --> 00:41:47,004
to love a woman and
hurt her every day?
833
00:41:47,705 --> 00:41:49,940
Oh, sure, I've got
a million of them.
834
00:41:49,940 --> 00:41:53,811
She is so great!
835
00:41:53,878 --> 00:41:55,012
They're all great.
836
00:41:55,012 --> 00:41:56,580
This one's greater.
837
00:41:56,580 --> 00:41:59,216
She laughs
at the right times.
You know what I mean?
838
00:41:59,216 --> 00:42:01,185
And I have her
living in some
crappy hotel room.
839
00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:04,188
It's not fair.
I'm the one who
can't get a job.
840
00:42:04,622 --> 00:42:06,223
Life is shit!
841
00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:07,691
Hmm.
842
00:42:07,825 --> 00:42:10,127
Want another cup
of coffee? Hmm?
843
00:42:10,127 --> 00:42:12,263
No. I've gotta
go soon.
844
00:42:12,963 --> 00:42:15,599
Where?
In the middle of
the afternoon?
845
00:42:15,599 --> 00:42:16,834
You got a girl?
846
00:42:17,668 --> 00:42:19,703
No, not until 5:00,
847
00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:21,605
and then,
possibly at 8:00.
848
00:42:21,605 --> 00:42:23,974
I get laid an amazing
amount of times.
849
00:42:25,609 --> 00:42:25,910
An audition.
850
00:42:25,910 --> 00:42:29,847
Milton, if there's work,
if it's a part,
I can play short.
851
00:42:30,681 --> 00:42:32,249
I gotta see a guy
about wrestling.
852
00:42:32,249 --> 00:42:34,184
I wrestle sometimes.
853
00:42:35,686 --> 00:42:37,154
You wrestle?
854
00:42:37,688 --> 00:42:39,890
Really?
I'm a novelty.
855
00:42:39,990 --> 00:42:42,560
God, what people won't
do in this business.
856
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:43,761
It's not so bad.
857
00:42:43,761 --> 00:42:45,162
You make
a couple of bucks.
858
00:42:45,162 --> 00:42:48,732
You get to dress up
in all kind of
crazy costume.
859
00:42:48,732 --> 00:42:50,234
The crowds go nuts.
860
00:42:51,335 --> 00:42:53,571
You get to dress up
in crazy costumes
861
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:55,306
and the crowd goes nuts?
862
00:42:55,773 --> 00:42:57,274
Forget it.
You're too little.
863
00:42:57,274 --> 00:42:58,742
How does that feel?
864
00:43:02,112 --> 00:43:04,181
Hello, Milton.
Who are you?
865
00:43:04,181 --> 00:43:05,683
Andy...
I'm thrilled!
866
00:43:05,683 --> 00:43:07,284
What do you want,
Milton? I'm busy.
867
00:43:07,284 --> 00:43:08,819
Sidney, I just
passed by to see...
868
00:43:08,819 --> 00:43:12,623
Look, jerk, I told you
I'd call you if
I got you a match!
869
00:43:12,623 --> 00:43:13,791
Why is it every time
I look at you
870
00:43:13,791 --> 00:43:15,593
I want a
shrimp cocktail?
871
00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:18,162
No offense. Go stand
in the wastebasket.
872
00:43:18,228 --> 00:43:20,898
Who are you?
A non-talking schmuck
walks in with a midget!
873
00:43:20,898 --> 00:43:24,201
Andy Schmidt, I...
Who cares?
You're too little!
874
00:43:24,201 --> 00:43:26,136
We got ushers
bigger than you!
875
00:43:26,136 --> 00:43:28,305
Leave.
I gotta take a crap.
876
00:43:28,939 --> 00:43:31,275
Ah, actually,
I'm an actor.
I can do anything.
877
00:43:32,042 --> 00:43:33,344
Can you walk
outta here?
878
00:43:33,978 --> 00:43:37,281
You know, you're not
a bad-lookin' kid.
You a fagala?
879
00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:38,048
Uh, no.
880
00:43:38,048 --> 00:43:39,883
I gotta kid at home,
you mention fagalas,
881
00:43:39,883 --> 00:43:41,719
a real fruitcake,
this kid.
882
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,153
We wanted a boy,
we came close.
883
00:43:43,153 --> 00:43:46,156
I love him like
a daughter, this kid.
884
00:43:46,790 --> 00:43:48,692
So you wanna
wrestle, huh?
885
00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,327
Sidney, he could
be fantastic!
886
00:43:50,327 --> 00:43:53,130
He's funny.
Look at this!
Sneezy has an opinion!
887
00:43:53,130 --> 00:43:55,733
Milton, when I wanna
hear from you,
I'll look down, huh?
888
00:43:55,733 --> 00:43:58,168
You could mail him
to St. Louis
for under a dollar.
889
00:43:58,836 --> 00:44:00,004
You got
a nice face, kid.
890
00:44:00,004 --> 00:44:01,372
Grandmother's like
a nice face.
891
00:44:01,372 --> 00:44:03,374
I'm sorry
about your body.
892
00:44:03,807 --> 00:44:04,875
Milton, hit me
in the stomach.
893
00:44:04,875 --> 00:44:05,776
That's not where
he hits.
894
00:44:05,776 --> 00:44:07,277
ANDY: Watch this.
I wanna show you something.
895
00:44:07,277 --> 00:44:08,412
Hit me. Come on.
896
00:44:08,412 --> 00:44:10,080
(MOANING)
897
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:11,715
(GROANING)
898
00:44:12,049 --> 00:44:13,250
Oh!
899
00:44:13,784 --> 00:44:16,253
You see what
a good actor can
do with pain?
900
00:44:16,253 --> 00:44:18,122
So far you're doing
constipation.
901
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:21,258
I'll say this for ya,
you're crazy enough.
902
00:44:21,358 --> 00:44:23,994
He could be like David
fighting Goliath!
903
00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:25,963
Great idea, Milton!
(LAUGHS)
904
00:44:26,163 --> 00:44:27,665
Why don't you take
three months off
905
00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:29,066
and change
a light bulb?
906
00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:32,302
I been doing
David and Goliath
for 20 years!
907
00:44:32,302 --> 00:44:34,405
I'm up to my ass
in slingshots.
908
00:44:34,405 --> 00:44:36,140
Maybe I'll think
of something for you.
909
00:44:36,140 --> 00:44:38,008
You're not
a bad-lookin' kid.
910
00:44:38,308 --> 00:44:40,044
Have you ever
wrestled before? Lie.
911
00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:42,780
Yes, uh,
in college intramural.
That's enough!
912
00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:43,881
I could teach him.
913
00:44:43,881 --> 00:44:44,748
You do that, Milton.
914
00:44:44,748 --> 00:44:47,217
Are you still getting laid
six times a day?
915
00:44:47,718 --> 00:44:48,252
I do my best.
916
00:44:48,252 --> 00:44:50,921
(CHUCKLES)
If his legs were as
big as his schlong,
917
00:44:50,921 --> 00:44:52,289
he'd be playing
basketball.
918
00:44:52,289 --> 00:44:55,259
Leave me your number,
Schmidt, I'll call you.
919
00:44:55,259 --> 00:44:57,428
Uh, yeah, yes! Yes.
920
00:44:57,428 --> 00:44:59,263
You sure you're
not a fagala?
921
00:44:59,263 --> 00:45:00,297
I, I'm pos...
I'm sure.
922
00:45:00,297 --> 00:45:02,199
My son,
talk about fruits,
923
00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:05,803
I bought him a football,
and he decorated it.
924
00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:10,441
Get outta my office!
925
00:45:10,941 --> 00:45:14,178
(HEAVY BREATHING)
32, 33...
926
00:45:14,912 --> 00:45:18,248
What is this sudden
interest in exercising?
927
00:45:18,248 --> 00:45:22,186
You can never be
in too good a shape
for the theater.
928
00:45:22,386 --> 00:45:28,258
39, 40, 41, 47...
929
00:45:28,292 --> 00:45:30,160
Hell with it, that's 50.
930
00:45:32,096 --> 00:45:33,197
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
931
00:45:33,197 --> 00:45:37,468
Oh, I hope the baby
looks like me.
932
00:45:37,468 --> 00:45:38,936
No offense.
(CHUCKLES)
933
00:45:42,139 --> 00:45:43,207
Andy?
Hmm?
934
00:45:43,207 --> 00:45:45,476
Um, I've got something
to tell you.
935
00:45:45,509 --> 00:45:46,510
Yeah?
936
00:45:46,510 --> 00:45:50,147
I um, I spoke
to my father today,
937
00:45:50,447 --> 00:45:52,149
and, uh, well...
938
00:45:52,149 --> 00:45:55,085
Mary, I can't
see my body.
939
00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:56,854
Oh.
Thanks.
940
00:45:57,921 --> 00:46:01,358
I spoke to my father,
and I asked him to, um,
941
00:46:01,859 --> 00:46:03,293
to send us a little money,
you know, just to...
942
00:46:03,293 --> 00:46:04,962
Why'd you do that?
To tide us over!
943
00:46:04,962 --> 00:46:06,430
That makes me furious!
944
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:09,433
Could I see your
furious look, please?
945
00:46:10,501 --> 00:46:12,970
You don't think I can
support this family!
946
00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:14,838
Of course I do.
947
00:46:15,839 --> 00:46:17,841
It's just that, um,
948
00:46:18,242 --> 00:46:19,777
it's just that,
you...you know,
949
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:20,544
you never make
any money.
950
00:46:20,544 --> 00:46:24,014
I mean, I used
to give money
to families like us.
951
00:46:24,014 --> 00:46:25,282
Very funny.
952
00:46:25,949 --> 00:46:27,551
Oh, Andy, look,
I'm sorry!
953
00:46:27,551 --> 00:46:29,052
I know we're gonna
have lots of money.
954
00:46:29,052 --> 00:46:32,356
It's just with the baby
coming and everything.
955
00:46:32,356 --> 00:46:33,824
I was going
to surprise you.
956
00:46:33,824 --> 00:46:36,894
You see, I've taken
a part-time job.
957
00:46:37,294 --> 00:46:40,397
What kind of job?
958
00:46:41,999 --> 00:46:46,270
A very famous photographer
asked me to assist him.
959
00:46:46,270 --> 00:46:47,471
MARY: Oh, well,
won't that interfere with,
960
00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:50,440
you know,
your interviewing
for acting jobs?
961
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,176
ANDY: No, uh,
he needs me at night...
962
00:46:52,176 --> 00:46:54,011
Once, twice a week,
tops.
963
00:46:54,011 --> 00:46:56,046
(GROANS) All right!
All right!
964
00:46:56,046 --> 00:46:57,214
Ow! Ow!
965
00:46:58,448 --> 00:46:59,850
Okay, again.
966
00:47:05,989 --> 00:47:07,224
(GROANS)
967
00:47:27,277 --> 00:47:28,245
Pain.
968
00:47:28,245 --> 00:47:29,947
Pain. I got that.
Pain.
969
00:47:30,047 --> 00:47:31,915
Go for big pain.
970
00:47:32,549 --> 00:47:34,952
Don't do anything
against the rules.
971
00:47:34,952 --> 00:47:37,054
That's what he does.
972
00:47:43,460 --> 00:47:45,462
Uh, Indian Joe?
973
00:47:45,963 --> 00:47:47,531
Hi. Uh, Andy.
974
00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:49,466
I... I'm gonna wrestle
against you.
975
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:51,468
(GROWLS)
976
00:47:52,302 --> 00:47:53,604
What the hell
is that?
977
00:47:53,604 --> 00:47:55,539
He's a real Indian!
978
00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:57,641
He does not like
white people.
979
00:47:59,042 --> 00:48:01,478
He knows not to
really hurt me,
doesn't he?
980
00:48:01,478 --> 00:48:04,481
Don't worry.
Nobody gets hurt.
981
00:48:04,481 --> 00:48:06,550
Just remember, pain!
982
00:48:06,583 --> 00:48:07,985
Pain.
983
00:48:07,985 --> 00:48:09,419
Where's the Indian?
984
00:48:09,486 --> 00:48:11,421
If that son of a bitch
didn't show up...
985
00:48:11,421 --> 00:48:13,023
He's in the john.
986
00:48:13,023 --> 00:48:15,225
Why can't he piss
before he gets here?
987
00:48:15,259 --> 00:48:17,227
Schmidt! You okay?
988
00:48:17,361 --> 00:48:18,328
Pain.
989
00:48:18,328 --> 00:48:19,029
You look great!
990
00:48:19,029 --> 00:48:22,599
Are you kidding?
There is a building
in there taking a leak!
991
00:48:22,966 --> 00:48:24,601
Now, listen, Schmidt.
992
00:48:24,601 --> 00:48:27,004
You're good.
He's bad.
993
00:48:27,004 --> 00:48:29,306
You're an actor.
You act.
994
00:48:29,306 --> 00:48:31,041
Act good. Okay?
995
00:48:31,041 --> 00:48:31,942
Okay.
996
00:48:31,942 --> 00:48:33,210
Listen, uh, let me
ask you a question.
997
00:48:33,210 --> 00:48:36,380
He knows not to really
hurt me, doesn't he?
998
00:48:36,380 --> 00:48:37,614
Don't worry!
999
00:48:37,614 --> 00:48:40,450
It's easier to do pain
if you have some!
1000
00:48:42,019 --> 00:48:43,220
How's the kid, Joe?
1001
00:48:43,220 --> 00:48:44,221
(GROWLS)
Great!
1002
00:48:44,221 --> 00:48:45,956
Okay, boys, five minutes.
1003
00:48:45,956 --> 00:48:47,190
Sir?
1004
00:48:47,190 --> 00:48:49,126
This is my first bout.
1005
00:48:49,126 --> 00:48:50,961
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
1006
00:48:51,695 --> 00:48:55,299
Um, my wife is,
is having a baby.
1007
00:48:55,299 --> 00:48:56,199
(GROWLS)
1008
00:48:56,199 --> 00:48:58,268
I'm glad
you understand.
1009
00:48:58,669 --> 00:49:00,137
Geez!
1010
00:49:00,337 --> 00:49:02,339
(CHEERING)
1011
00:49:14,318 --> 00:49:15,986
(CROWD BOOING)
1012
00:49:16,653 --> 00:49:18,722
Ladies and gentlemen,
1013
00:49:18,722 --> 00:49:20,691
two out of three falls.
1014
00:49:20,724 --> 00:49:22,693
In this corner,
a man who comes to us
1015
00:49:22,693 --> 00:49:25,095
from the Cherokee
tribe of Indians!
1016
00:49:25,095 --> 00:49:28,432
A dirty fighter,
Indian Joe!
1017
00:49:28,432 --> 00:49:30,000
(CROWD CHEERING)
1018
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:33,437
(WHOOPING)
1019
00:49:36,506 --> 00:49:38,642
Holy shit,
that guy's an animal!
1020
00:49:38,642 --> 00:49:40,143
ANNOUNCER: And in this corner,
1021
00:49:40,143 --> 00:49:42,612
a man who
personally annihilated
1022
00:49:42,612 --> 00:49:46,116
an entire Nazi regiment
during the war.
1023
00:49:46,116 --> 00:49:48,652
A great American kid.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
1024
00:49:48,652 --> 00:49:51,621
An all-around war hero.
1025
00:49:51,621 --> 00:49:54,558
Captain Andy Smith!
1026
00:49:54,558 --> 00:49:56,426
(CROWD CHEERING)
1027
00:49:59,363 --> 00:50:00,697
(BELL RINGING)
1028
00:50:00,697 --> 00:50:02,065
Places!
1029
00:50:02,265 --> 00:50:03,600
ANNOUNCER: Sir?
1030
00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:06,303
I don't wanna see
anything dirty.
1031
00:50:06,303 --> 00:50:10,607
No instruments.
Don't start putting
anything in his eye.
1032
00:50:10,607 --> 00:50:12,676
Okay, I wanna search
you two fellows.
1033
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:14,544
Open your robe.
1034
00:50:25,622 --> 00:50:28,025
See? Just what I mean!
1035
00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:29,626
(CROWD CLAMORING)
1036
00:50:30,494 --> 00:50:32,662
(BELL RINGING)
Come back!
1037
00:50:33,130 --> 00:50:36,066
Okay, back to your corners,
take your robes off,
1038
00:50:36,066 --> 00:50:37,434
and come out wrestling.
1039
00:50:37,434 --> 00:50:39,036
(BELL RINGS)
1040
00:50:43,273 --> 00:50:44,374
(BELL RINGS)
1041
00:50:44,374 --> 00:50:46,176
(INDIAN JOE WHOOPING)
1042
00:50:55,152 --> 00:50:57,087
(CROWD BOOING)
1043
00:51:17,441 --> 00:51:18,842
Ow! Ow!
1044
00:51:18,842 --> 00:51:20,677
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!
1045
00:51:21,678 --> 00:51:25,248
Ow! Ow! Ow!
That hurts! That hurts!
1046
00:51:32,122 --> 00:51:33,590
Does he know this
is just for fun?
1047
00:51:33,590 --> 00:51:35,692
Indian Joe has
a lot of pride.
1048
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,361
Aah!
1049
00:51:39,262 --> 00:51:40,597
(GROANS)
1050
00:51:42,265 --> 00:51:44,367
Aah! He's biting me!
1051
00:51:44,367 --> 00:51:45,869
He's biting me!
1052
00:51:46,236 --> 00:51:47,804
Good pain.
1053
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:51,341
(CROWD SHOUTING)
1054
00:51:57,481 --> 00:51:58,715
Ohh!
1055
00:52:00,750 --> 00:52:02,152
(MOANING)
1056
00:52:16,566 --> 00:52:18,235
(WHOOPING)
1057
00:52:18,335 --> 00:52:19,669
(GRUNTS)
1058
00:52:51,568 --> 00:52:52,769
(MOANS SOFTLY)
1059
00:53:15,859 --> 00:53:17,694
(GROANS SOFTLY)
1060
00:53:26,770 --> 00:53:27,704
Ohh.
1061
00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:29,272
Is that you, Andy?
1062
00:53:29,272 --> 00:53:30,540
Hi!
1063
00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:34,811
How was the
photography?
1064
00:53:38,448 --> 00:53:39,983
It's tough.
1065
00:53:40,584 --> 00:53:41,885
Whew!
1066
00:53:43,353 --> 00:53:44,721
I missed you.
1067
00:53:44,721 --> 00:53:45,956
Yeah?
1068
00:53:45,956 --> 00:53:47,857
Go to sleep,
sweetheart.
1069
00:53:47,891 --> 00:53:49,993
Rub my back, will you?
1070
00:53:50,594 --> 00:53:53,930
Oh, I'm so tired.
1071
00:53:57,367 --> 00:53:59,002
(GROANS)
1072
00:54:00,604 --> 00:54:02,005
Oh, my God!
1073
00:54:02,839 --> 00:54:03,907
Oh, my God!
1074
00:54:03,907 --> 00:54:05,375
Don't touch me!
1075
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:08,311
Andy, were you
hit by a car?
1076
00:54:08,912 --> 00:54:10,647
No, by an Indian.
1077
00:54:10,814 --> 00:54:13,850
I'll explain the
whole thing tomorrow.
1078
00:54:14,517 --> 00:54:16,419
You're gonna
explain tomorrow
1079
00:54:16,419 --> 00:54:17,687
that you were
beaten by an Indian?
1080
00:54:17,687 --> 00:54:19,256
No, thanks.
You'll tell me now.
1081
00:54:19,256 --> 00:54:20,757
I mean, should you
be in a hospital?
1082
00:54:20,757 --> 00:54:22,492
The hospital
released me.
1083
00:54:22,492 --> 00:54:24,728
See, it... It's not
as bad as it looks.
1084
00:54:24,728 --> 00:54:26,863
Just forget you saw me.
1085
00:54:27,364 --> 00:54:29,599
Andy, tell me
what happened.
1086
00:54:30,567 --> 00:54:32,736
Oh, please, tomorrow.
1087
00:54:32,736 --> 00:54:33,570
I'll hug you!
1088
00:54:33,570 --> 00:54:35,405
I'll talk! I'll talk.
I'm talking.
1089
00:54:35,405 --> 00:54:39,042
MAN: Uh, Mr. Schmidt,
you can, uh,
read the priest.
1090
00:54:39,042 --> 00:54:41,044
Agatha,
you read Christy.
1091
00:54:42,879 --> 00:54:43,913
Knock, knock, knock.
1092
00:54:43,913 --> 00:54:46,583
We understand that
there's no door
there, Mr. Schmidt.
1093
00:54:46,583 --> 00:54:49,486
Oh, there is
to me, sir.
I'm an actor.
1094
00:54:49,486 --> 00:54:52,622
As a matter of fact,
it needs a paint job.
1095
00:54:52,722 --> 00:54:55,625
(SCOFFS)
Would you read already?
1096
00:54:55,692 --> 00:54:59,462
Father, I must speak
to you about my husband.
1097
00:54:59,462 --> 00:55:01,798
I know I shouldn't,
but I must!
1098
00:55:01,798 --> 00:55:04,534
"Yes, my child,
I will try to help."
1099
00:55:04,534 --> 00:55:08,605
But understand,
this is no spiritual
first aid station.
1100
00:55:08,605 --> 00:55:09,539
I know that you...
1101
00:55:09,539 --> 00:55:11,641
MAN: Spiritual
first aid station?
1102
00:55:11,708 --> 00:55:12,909
That's not in the script.
1103
00:55:12,909 --> 00:55:15,745
No, it is not,
but I see this man
as a street priest.
1104
00:55:15,745 --> 00:55:18,882
You know what I mean?
I say, let's let him live!
1105
00:55:18,882 --> 00:55:20,617
I think that
I can make him
1106
00:55:20,617 --> 00:55:22,952
into a man
and a priest.
1107
00:55:22,952 --> 00:55:25,055
As a matter of fact,
in the third act,
1108
00:55:25,055 --> 00:55:26,890
I think he should
start to drink,
1109
00:55:26,890 --> 00:55:28,558
perhaps slug a bishop.
1110
00:55:28,558 --> 00:55:31,461
I think we should go
all the way with this!
1111
00:55:31,461 --> 00:55:33,897
The author is
sitting right here.
1112
00:55:33,897 --> 00:55:35,799
He doesn't feel that way.
1113
00:55:37,067 --> 00:55:38,868
I love
your play, sir.
1114
00:55:38,868 --> 00:55:41,571
Very good work.
Very, very nice.
1115
00:55:41,571 --> 00:55:45,075
But, uh,
even Shakespeare
had to rewrite.
1116
00:55:45,075 --> 00:55:46,976
MAN: Thank you.
Get off the stage.
1117
00:55:46,976 --> 00:55:48,378
I could be wrong!
1118
00:55:48,378 --> 00:55:49,713
That's all, Schmidt.
1119
00:55:49,713 --> 00:55:51,414
Agatha, we'll call you.
1120
00:55:51,414 --> 00:55:52,716
Do you have
my number?
1121
00:55:52,716 --> 00:55:55,552
Oh, yes, Schmidt,
we have your number.
1122
00:55:56,553 --> 00:55:57,921
Hi.
1123
00:55:59,789 --> 00:56:01,891
Sidney, I need help.
1124
00:56:01,891 --> 00:56:02,726
You need help?
1125
00:56:02,726 --> 00:56:05,895
There's not a rest room
in the country
that'll accept my son.
1126
00:56:05,895 --> 00:56:08,965
Yeah, um...
I need money.
1127
00:56:08,965 --> 00:56:10,600
My wife is pregnant.
1128
00:56:10,867 --> 00:56:13,803
Boy or girl, I got
hand-me-downs for you.
1129
00:56:17,140 --> 00:56:19,042
I have to wrestle again.
1130
00:56:19,843 --> 00:56:22,479
Twenty bucks,
just like before.
1131
00:56:23,646 --> 00:56:26,082
Sidney,
I'm not talking
about 20 bucks.
1132
00:56:26,082 --> 00:56:27,784
I'm talking about an idea!
1133
00:56:27,784 --> 00:56:31,688
What if I tell you
that I have a guaranteed
money-maker?
1134
00:56:31,688 --> 00:56:33,890
Then I'd make
money, guaranteed.
1135
00:56:33,890 --> 00:56:34,724
What about me?
1136
00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:36,626
First let's
hear your idea,
then we'll talk.
1137
00:56:36,626 --> 00:56:39,863
You actors
are all the same.
What's your idea?
1138
00:56:39,863 --> 00:56:41,030
(BELL RINGS)
1139
00:56:41,030 --> 00:56:44,601
And in this corner,
Dr. Andrew Weisel.
1140
00:56:45,468 --> 00:56:47,137
(CROWD BOOING)
1141
00:56:52,742 --> 00:56:53,743
A good, clean bout.
1142
00:56:53,743 --> 00:56:57,914
Dr. Weisel,
don't try any of your
powers here tonight.
1143
00:56:58,581 --> 00:56:59,449
What powers?
1144
00:56:59,449 --> 00:57:02,685
And I want no gouging,
and I want no kicking.
1145
00:57:04,187 --> 00:57:05,955
He's a hypnotist!
1146
00:57:05,955 --> 00:57:07,056
That's not fair!
1147
00:57:07,056 --> 00:57:09,125
He's should be
thrown out of the ring!
1148
00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:10,894
Somebody do something!
1149
00:57:12,095 --> 00:57:14,798
He's a hypnotist!
There! He's using it!
1150
00:57:14,798 --> 00:57:17,700
I bet 30 bucks!
Throw him out!
1151
00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:19,969
(WOMAN CONTINUES SHOUTING)
1152
00:57:22,705 --> 00:57:24,207
(CROWD BOOING)
1153
00:57:25,041 --> 00:57:27,644
Throw him out,
the dirty bum!
1154
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,549
(CROWD BOOING)
1155
00:57:43,092 --> 00:57:46,696
One, two, three!
1156
00:57:46,696 --> 00:57:48,198
(BELL RINGS)
1157
00:57:50,066 --> 00:57:53,470
(IN GERMAN ACCENT)
Dr. Weisel is the
greatest wrestler
1158
00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:55,839
in the world! Say it.
1159
00:57:55,839 --> 00:58:01,077
Dr. Weisel is the greatest
wrestler in the world.
1160
00:58:02,078 --> 00:58:03,680
You heard it.
1161
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:05,748
(BOOING)
1162
00:58:19,863 --> 00:58:23,066
What'd I tell you, Sidney?
What did I tell you?
1163
00:58:23,233 --> 00:58:24,634
You did okay, kid.
1164
00:58:24,634 --> 00:58:26,269
Okay?
Listen to that crowd!
1165
00:58:26,269 --> 00:58:28,171
They really hate me!
1166
00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:29,706
We're on our way!
1167
00:58:29,706 --> 00:58:31,774
He was fantastic,
Sidney!
1168
00:58:35,044 --> 00:58:36,779
(LAUGHING)
1169
00:58:37,514 --> 00:58:39,215
You really
killed them, Andy!
1170
00:58:39,215 --> 00:58:41,117
Dr. Weisel?
Yeah?
1171
00:58:41,217 --> 00:58:43,119
Can I have your autograph?
1172
00:58:43,987 --> 00:58:46,756
Well, sure, I mean,
you know, I... I'm here.
1173
00:58:46,756 --> 00:58:48,791
My absolute pleasure. Yeah.
1174
00:58:48,892 --> 00:58:50,627
You really
got something, kid.
1175
00:58:50,627 --> 00:58:51,561
Yeah, I seen 'em all.
1176
00:58:51,561 --> 00:58:55,131
You're going places.
I got all the stars
in that book!
1177
00:58:55,131 --> 00:58:57,133
Thank you. Thank you.
1178
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:59,569
Here, you want
Cary Grant?
1179
00:58:59,569 --> 00:59:00,870
Yeah!
1180
00:59:01,905 --> 00:59:04,274
Now you got it.
Get outta here.
1181
00:59:05,909 --> 00:59:07,310
Well, Uncle Sid?
1182
00:59:07,310 --> 00:59:09,312
You did okay
out there, kid.
1183
00:59:09,312 --> 00:59:11,214
Did you hear
what that man said?
1184
00:59:11,214 --> 00:59:13,650
He has all the stars
in that book.
1185
00:59:13,650 --> 00:59:14,584
All the stars!
1186
00:59:14,584 --> 00:59:16,319
I told you he would
be fantastic!
1187
00:59:16,319 --> 00:59:17,954
Yes, you did, Milton.
1188
00:59:18,121 --> 00:59:20,590
Oh, kid!
This time we did it!
1189
00:59:22,959 --> 00:59:24,193
Oh, Mary!
1190
00:59:24,193 --> 00:59:25,762
Hi, Mom.
1191
00:59:27,664 --> 00:59:29,866
Hi, Daddy.
Mary.
1192
00:59:31,935 --> 00:59:33,770
Let me look at you.
1193
00:59:34,737 --> 00:59:36,940
Oh, it won't be
long now.
1194
00:59:37,941 --> 00:59:38,975
You look wonderful.
1195
00:59:38,975 --> 00:59:41,277
MARY: Well, I...
I've never felt better!
1196
00:59:42,245 --> 00:59:43,980
Oh, thank you!
1197
00:59:44,213 --> 00:59:48,051
Is this your, uh...
Total living area?
1198
00:59:48,351 --> 00:59:49,352
Uh, yes.
1199
00:59:49,352 --> 00:59:50,820
Well, you see,
we really
1200
00:59:50,820 --> 00:59:53,923
don't need
that much room
until the baby comes.
1201
00:59:54,223 --> 00:59:57,160
Well, why don't
you two just sit down?
1202
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,194
Andy will be right back.
1203
00:59:58,194 --> 01:00:00,897
He just went
down the street to
pick up some food.
1204
01:00:00,897 --> 01:00:04,233
He's really so excited
about seeing you.
1205
01:00:04,233 --> 01:00:05,602
Mary!
1206
01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:07,670
Oh, Mom, I'm fine.
1207
01:00:07,670 --> 01:00:09,005
Really!
1208
01:00:09,839 --> 01:00:13,109
We want you
to be happy.
That's all.
1209
01:00:14,077 --> 01:00:15,812
You can have
your New York.
1210
01:00:15,945 --> 01:00:18,081
Everybody's
got his hand out.
1211
01:00:18,247 --> 01:00:22,719
The big cities frighten me.
Everyone's a stranger.
1212
01:00:23,019 --> 01:00:25,922
But you and Andy
are young.
1213
01:00:26,289 --> 01:00:28,891
Well, I used
to get frightened.
1214
01:00:30,827 --> 01:00:33,863
Sometimes I miss home,
but, uh, really,
1215
01:00:33,863 --> 01:00:36,132
uh, New York is fun
when you live here.
1216
01:00:36,299 --> 01:00:37,800
Not for me.
1217
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:41,170
Ahem! Um...
How is Andy?
1218
01:00:41,170 --> 01:00:44,374
Oh, fine. Just fine.
1219
01:00:44,374 --> 01:00:46,042
He's, uh, taken
some other jobs
1220
01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:48,011
while he looks
for work as an actor.
1221
01:00:48,011 --> 01:00:49,779
How is Sherman?
1222
01:00:49,779 --> 01:00:51,648
What kind of jobs?
1223
01:00:52,015 --> 01:00:54,984
He wrestles.
Dad, would you like
some coffee?
1224
01:00:56,052 --> 01:00:57,286
What did you say?
1225
01:00:57,286 --> 01:00:58,388
What?
1226
01:00:58,388 --> 01:00:59,956
She said...
1227
01:01:01,691 --> 01:01:03,126
He wrestles.
1228
01:01:04,794 --> 01:01:06,796
Wrestles?
Uh, what do you mean?
1229
01:01:06,863 --> 01:01:08,731
I mean, he wrestles.
1230
01:01:08,765 --> 01:01:10,199
Dear God.
1231
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,102
Nobody wrestles!
1232
01:01:13,803 --> 01:01:16,739
You mean they
pay him to wrestle?
1233
01:01:16,739 --> 01:01:19,008
(DOOR OPENS)
ANDY: Hi!
1234
01:01:20,910 --> 01:01:23,146
Mom!
Oh, heh, darling.
1235
01:01:23,146 --> 01:01:26,282
Tom! Welcome
to New York!
1236
01:01:26,849 --> 01:01:29,118
Mary just told us
that you're wrestling.
1237
01:01:29,118 --> 01:01:29,419
Yeah!
1238
01:01:29,419 --> 01:01:32,021
We're thrilled to hear
that you've finally
found a profession.
1239
01:01:32,021 --> 01:01:33,156
It's only temporary, Tom.
1240
01:01:33,156 --> 01:01:35,892
I'm on to some
really major things.
1241
01:01:35,892 --> 01:01:37,093
We've heard
that before.
1242
01:01:37,093 --> 01:01:39,262
(SCOFFS)
How supportive of you.
1243
01:01:39,262 --> 01:01:42,365
Is he always
this much fun
at home? Huh?
1244
01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:43,800
Now look, young man.
1245
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:44,801
Yeah. Yes, sir.
1246
01:01:44,801 --> 01:01:46,469
Pa, please,
I am pregnant.
1247
01:01:46,469 --> 01:01:48,938
I mean, couldn't we just
all try and get along?
1248
01:01:48,938 --> 01:01:49,906
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
1249
01:01:49,906 --> 01:01:50,973
Yeah, you know,
Mary, you're right.
1250
01:01:50,973 --> 01:01:54,410
Mary is right.
Tom, we shouldn't
fight all the time!
1251
01:01:54,410 --> 01:01:57,380
I'm gonna make
a concentrated
effort, huh?
1252
01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:59,449
Hello! Sidney!
1253
01:01:59,949 --> 01:02:01,317
You're downstairs.
1254
01:02:01,718 --> 01:02:03,186
You're all downstairs!
1255
01:02:03,953 --> 01:02:06,422
No, no, no, if it's such
a big deal, come on up!
1256
01:02:07,023 --> 01:02:08,424
No, nobody's here.
1257
01:02:09,459 --> 01:02:11,427
Just a figure
of speech, Tom.
1258
01:02:11,427 --> 01:02:13,196
Right, Sidney. Okay.
1259
01:02:13,796 --> 01:02:16,232
Some of my
business associates
are coming up.
1260
01:02:16,232 --> 01:02:17,800
TOM: Who are these people?
1261
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:20,169
Uh... I don't know.
1262
01:02:20,169 --> 01:02:22,972
I've never met
any of the people
Andy works with.
1263
01:02:22,972 --> 01:02:25,875
Um... Well, should I
set some more places?
1264
01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:26,943
Do we have enough food?
1265
01:02:26,943 --> 01:02:28,945
Mom, it's just a small
business meeting.
1266
01:02:28,945 --> 01:02:30,213
Don't worry yourself.
1267
01:02:30,213 --> 01:02:31,814
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1268
01:02:33,249 --> 01:02:36,085
You're gonna really
like these guys!
1269
01:02:38,454 --> 01:02:40,089
Where's the crapper?
1270
01:02:40,089 --> 01:02:41,257
Uh, down the hall.
1271
01:02:41,257 --> 01:02:43,092
Oh, my dear God!
1272
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:44,060
You live here?
1273
01:02:44,060 --> 01:02:46,796
I didn't know you could
rent a room here
for more than an hour.
1274
01:02:46,796 --> 01:02:49,065
I'll meet everybody when
I get out of the crapper.
1275
01:02:49,065 --> 01:02:51,100
Oh, come on in.
Come on in.
1276
01:02:53,469 --> 01:02:54,837
Milton Miller
and The Elephant,
1277
01:02:54,837 --> 01:02:57,006
I want you to meet
my wife, Mary,
1278
01:02:57,006 --> 01:02:59,375
and her parents,
the Crawfords.
1279
01:02:59,509 --> 01:03:01,477
This one's The Elephant.
1280
01:03:05,414 --> 01:03:07,450
Well, hello!
1281
01:03:12,488 --> 01:03:15,124
Well, would you
like to sit down?
1282
01:03:15,925 --> 01:03:17,994
Maybe you'd like
something to eat.
1283
01:03:17,994 --> 01:03:19,262
I think we have enough.
1284
01:03:19,262 --> 01:03:20,797
Oh, we ate.
1285
01:03:21,898 --> 01:03:23,866
You have nice eyes.
1286
01:03:24,033 --> 01:03:26,269
(LAUGHS) Thank you.
1287
01:03:26,269 --> 01:03:27,870
ANDY: Milton.
1288
01:03:29,839 --> 01:03:32,942
Do you two, um...
Wrestle?
1289
01:03:32,942 --> 01:03:34,210
Oh, yeah!
1290
01:03:34,210 --> 01:03:36,112
Uh, but not each other.
1291
01:03:36,112 --> 01:03:37,313
I'm too big.
1292
01:03:37,313 --> 01:03:38,481
(LAUGHS)
1293
01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:39,549
Oh.
1294
01:03:39,549 --> 01:03:41,551
Well, let's sit down,
shall we?
1295
01:03:53,262 --> 01:03:54,163
ANDY: So, uh...
1296
01:03:54,163 --> 01:03:56,465
Why do I have to talk
to Sidney this afternoon?
1297
01:03:56,465 --> 01:03:57,300
Oh, good news.
1298
01:03:57,300 --> 01:03:59,836
He'll tell you when
he gets out of the bathroom.
1299
01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:03,306
Uh, he has bowel
movement troubles.
1300
01:04:03,573 --> 01:04:05,441
Uh... Oh.
1301
01:04:08,211 --> 01:04:09,412
(MOUTHING)
1302
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:11,380
Do you like New York?
1303
01:04:12,114 --> 01:04:15,852
Yes, uh...
We're from Ohio.
1304
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:19,455
Hmm. There are things
you can get here
1305
01:04:19,455 --> 01:04:22,291
that you cannot
get anywhere else.
1306
01:04:22,892 --> 01:04:24,260
ANDY: Milton...
1307
01:04:24,493 --> 01:04:26,395
Is also an actor.
1308
01:04:27,496 --> 01:04:30,333
How long are you
gonna be in town?
1309
01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:33,202
Just today.
1310
01:04:34,303 --> 01:04:35,638
That's enough.
1311
01:04:38,007 --> 01:04:38,541
Hi, I'm Sidney Seltzer.
1312
01:04:38,541 --> 01:04:41,277
Yeah, Sidney, uh,
let me introduce you
to my wife Mary
1313
01:04:41,277 --> 01:04:44,881
and her mother and father
Mr. and Mrs. Crawford.
They're from Ohio.
1314
01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:46,282
That's exciting.
Kid, you got a minute?
1315
01:04:46,282 --> 01:04:47,350
Something big
has come up.
1316
01:04:47,350 --> 01:04:49,318
Oh, sure.
We can go in the hallway.
1317
01:04:49,318 --> 01:04:51,187
Jesus,
is this place a dump!
1318
01:04:51,921 --> 01:04:55,491
Nice meeting you.
If you're ever in New York,
give me a call.
1319
01:04:57,994 --> 01:05:01,664
Excuse me,
uh, do you have
anything more crispy,
1320
01:05:01,664 --> 01:05:03,366
uh, like peanuts?
1321
01:05:03,532 --> 01:05:05,234
Oh, yeah.
1322
01:05:10,039 --> 01:05:12,475
Uh, what do you
do for a living?
1323
01:05:13,242 --> 01:05:14,210
Insurance.
1324
01:05:14,210 --> 01:05:17,213
Insurance? Do you
know Gorilla Gotleib?
1325
01:05:18,581 --> 01:05:19,982
I'm afraid not.
1326
01:05:19,982 --> 01:05:22,652
Oh, Gorilla was
his wrestling name.
1327
01:05:22,652 --> 01:05:24,654
Phil is his
insurance name.
1328
01:05:24,654 --> 01:05:26,689
He sells insurance, too.
1329
01:05:28,224 --> 01:05:29,225
TOM: That's interesting.
1330
01:05:29,225 --> 01:05:31,294
ELEPHANT: Insurance
must be easy.
1331
01:05:32,328 --> 01:05:34,330
Gorilla was
not real smart.
1332
01:05:34,330 --> 01:05:39,402
Fact is, he's one
of the dumbest guys
I ever met.
1333
01:05:39,435 --> 01:05:43,439
Uh, I don't mean to incur
that you're dumb, too.
1334
01:05:43,572 --> 01:05:45,274
(SOBS)
1335
01:05:47,009 --> 01:05:48,311
Mom!
1336
01:05:48,377 --> 01:05:49,578
What's the matter?
1337
01:05:49,578 --> 01:05:51,414
(SOBS)
I want to go home.
1338
01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:54,283
I want to
go home! Oh!
1339
01:05:54,583 --> 01:05:56,152
(SOBBING)
1340
01:05:57,486 --> 01:05:59,555
TOM: Muriel,
what's the matter?
1341
01:06:04,694 --> 01:06:07,430
Okay, so Milton made
a pass at your mother.
1342
01:06:07,730 --> 01:06:09,231
And Sidney
offered me a tour.
1343
01:06:09,231 --> 01:06:11,267
But first of all,
I'm not taking the tour
1344
01:06:11,267 --> 01:06:13,636
because I wouldn't
leave you.
1345
01:06:13,703 --> 01:06:17,106
And I'll talk to Milton.
About his taste.
1346
01:06:17,406 --> 01:06:19,342
It's all so ugly.
1347
01:06:20,142 --> 01:06:23,579
Honey, those are
the guys in wrestling.
1348
01:06:23,579 --> 01:06:25,448
I'm through with that!
1349
01:06:27,049 --> 01:06:29,018
No, you're not.
1350
01:06:31,087 --> 01:06:32,989
You want the circus.
1351
01:06:33,022 --> 01:06:34,523
You want the freaks.
1352
01:06:34,523 --> 01:06:36,625
You'll take the ugliness!
1353
01:06:37,626 --> 01:06:38,561
The freaks like you!
1354
01:06:38,561 --> 01:06:42,732
Mary, I had to make
some god damn money!
Do you mind?
1355
01:06:42,732 --> 01:06:45,401
Yes!
Whoever this is,
1356
01:06:45,401 --> 01:06:48,404
I want it to be
able to stand the
craziness out there
1357
01:06:48,404 --> 01:06:50,373
by knowing that when
it comes back to us,
1358
01:06:50,373 --> 01:06:53,209
it's nice, it's normal,
it's home!
1359
01:06:53,242 --> 01:06:55,511
Milton happens to be
a very nice person.
1360
01:06:55,511 --> 01:06:58,014
He can't be respectable.
He's too short.
1361
01:06:58,014 --> 01:07:00,282
Now stop being
such a god damn snob,
or you'll wind up
1362
01:07:00,282 --> 01:07:03,686
in some small town
with a picture of
Jesus on the wall!
1363
01:07:10,526 --> 01:07:12,428
I'm going home.
1364
01:07:25,174 --> 01:07:28,244
Put one thing
in that suitcase,
we get a divorce!
1365
01:07:36,318 --> 01:07:37,420
That's good,
you little bitch!
1366
01:07:37,420 --> 01:07:40,256
It gets hot and you
gotta take a powder!
1367
01:07:41,457 --> 01:07:42,792
Get out!
1368
01:07:44,794 --> 01:07:47,496
We haven't
paid for that yet.
1369
01:07:48,731 --> 01:07:50,199
(CRASHING)
1370
01:07:59,742 --> 01:08:02,344
Look what I have
to do around here.
1371
01:08:04,814 --> 01:08:06,282
Please.
1372
01:08:06,549 --> 01:08:08,250
Stop packing.
1373
01:08:16,659 --> 01:08:19,562
I am through
with wrestling.
1374
01:08:20,129 --> 01:08:23,799
And if I don't
get an acting job
in three months,
1375
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:26,635
I'll get
a regular job.
1376
01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:30,139
And...
1377
01:08:31,607 --> 01:08:33,375
I love you.
1378
01:08:57,466 --> 01:08:59,802
Stay right where
you are, both of you.
1379
01:09:03,772 --> 01:09:05,207
Here. Throw this
on the floor.
1380
01:09:05,207 --> 01:09:06,609
It'll make you
feel much better.
1381
01:09:06,609 --> 01:09:07,810
Thank God
all we have is junk.
1382
01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:10,646
I mean, rich people
can't do this, you know.
1383
01:09:18,721 --> 01:09:20,489
So I told my wife
that I wouldn't go.
1384
01:09:20,489 --> 01:09:22,458
I can't take the tour.
1385
01:09:24,527 --> 01:09:26,228
Kid, you got
a nice wife.
1386
01:09:26,295 --> 01:09:26,729
I know that.
1387
01:09:26,729 --> 01:09:30,166
But how does she know
what goes on inside
somebody like you?
1388
01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:31,734
There're two
kind of people, kid!
1389
01:09:31,734 --> 01:09:33,202
The kind who put
lamp shades on lamps,
1390
01:09:33,202 --> 01:09:35,638
and the kind that
put lamp shades
on their heads!
1391
01:09:35,638 --> 01:09:37,439
She wants to be married.
1392
01:09:37,540 --> 01:09:39,441
You want to dress up
like a cowboy and make fun.
1393
01:09:39,441 --> 01:09:40,709
Sidney, would you look
from my point of view?
1394
01:09:40,709 --> 01:09:42,778
Look? You look!
I'm in the business
of crazy.
1395
01:09:42,778 --> 01:09:46,182
I know crazy
when I see it.
That's you, kid!
1396
01:09:46,715 --> 01:09:49,618
You don't wanna
dance unless your
mother's watching.
1397
01:09:49,618 --> 01:09:50,653
Take the tour!
1398
01:09:50,653 --> 01:09:51,854
Sidney, I am an actor!
1399
01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:53,689
Oh, yeah?
Then how come
you're not acting?
1400
01:09:53,689 --> 01:09:55,391
So?
They let 10 actors act.
1401
01:09:55,391 --> 01:09:58,594
All the rest of them drink
coffee and grow pimples.
1402
01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:00,796
An actor
propositioned my son!
1403
01:10:00,796 --> 01:10:01,797
I can't take the tour!
1404
01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:03,666
Maybe he'll
grow out of it,
the little faggot.
1405
01:10:03,666 --> 01:10:04,934
Sidney!
Take the tour!
1406
01:10:04,934 --> 01:10:07,236
No. I don't wanna
take the tour.
1407
01:10:07,236 --> 01:10:08,771
But you're a very nice guy.
1408
01:10:08,771 --> 01:10:10,239
I'm a bloodsucker!
1409
01:10:10,239 --> 01:10:11,974
You're good,
and I want you!
1410
01:10:12,374 --> 01:10:13,342
We leave
tomorrow morning.
1411
01:10:13,342 --> 01:10:15,277
If you change
your mind, call me!
1412
01:10:15,511 --> 01:10:17,947
We'll play to over
a million people!
1413
01:10:34,363 --> 01:10:35,731
Mary?
1414
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:43,839
You're leaving,
aren't you?
1415
01:10:44,473 --> 01:10:45,941
Yes.
1416
01:10:47,610 --> 01:10:49,645
I'm doing the wrong thing.
1417
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:53,482
Can I make you
some coffee?
1418
01:10:53,549 --> 01:10:57,586
No. I left $200
on the bureau for you.
1419
01:10:58,787 --> 01:11:00,456
Just take it
and go back to Ohio,
1420
01:11:00,456 --> 01:11:02,591
and then I'll call you
there tonight.
1421
01:11:02,825 --> 01:11:03,993
Right.
1422
01:11:03,993 --> 01:11:07,963
You know,
when this tour is over,
1423
01:11:09,565 --> 01:11:12,468
the whole thing'll be
outta my system.
1424
01:11:14,937 --> 01:11:17,606
Aren't you gonna
ask me to stay?
1425
01:11:21,410 --> 01:11:22,678
No.
1426
01:11:22,711 --> 01:11:23,846
I'm just
gonna ask you
1427
01:11:23,846 --> 01:11:26,615
to take real good
care of yourself.
1428
01:11:29,785 --> 01:11:31,654
Knock 'em dead.
1429
01:11:41,664 --> 01:11:44,667
You know, I used to think
that all talented people
1430
01:11:44,667 --> 01:11:46,535
were in show business.
1431
01:11:47,436 --> 01:11:48,904
I was wrong.
1432
01:11:48,971 --> 01:11:51,607
Boy, are you talented.
1433
01:11:53,542 --> 01:11:55,678
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
1434
01:11:57,413 --> 01:11:58,614
ANNOUNCER: On my left,
1435
01:11:58,614 --> 01:12:01,450
that great American
fighting man,
1436
01:12:01,450 --> 01:12:04,787
Leatherneck Joe Brady!
1437
01:12:08,791 --> 01:12:10,359
(BELL RINGS)
1438
01:12:11,694 --> 01:12:16,765
And on my right,
from Dusseldorf,
Germany...
1439
01:12:17,066 --> 01:12:18,767
(BOOING)
1440
01:12:19,468 --> 01:12:22,037
Adolf Hitner!
1441
01:12:24,340 --> 01:12:25,941
(BELL RINGS)
1442
01:12:25,941 --> 01:12:29,678
Now, Hitner is spelled
with an "N", folks.
1443
01:12:29,678 --> 01:12:32,815
But we know who he
takes after, don't we?
1444
01:12:32,815 --> 01:12:34,550
(BOOING)
1445
01:12:34,616 --> 01:12:38,854
And personally,
I'm offended!
1446
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:47,062
(IN GERMAN ACCENT)
I tell you something!
I tell you something!
1447
01:12:47,062 --> 01:12:48,797
This is not fair!
1448
01:12:48,797 --> 01:12:54,436
I want the name of
everybody out there
that is booing me!
1449
01:12:54,436 --> 01:12:55,971
(BOOING CONTINUES)
1450
01:12:55,971 --> 01:12:57,639
I will not forget you!
No, I won't!
1451
01:12:57,639 --> 01:13:00,843
Yes, and I...
You, old lady
with the glasses!
1452
01:13:00,843 --> 01:13:01,877
(BELL RINGING)
1453
01:13:01,877 --> 01:13:03,379
I want his name!
1454
01:13:03,379 --> 01:13:05,114
Milton, get his name!
1455
01:13:06,415 --> 01:13:10,819
The referee, looks like
"Flash" Wally Rowe!
1456
01:13:10,986 --> 01:13:13,088
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
1457
01:13:19,895 --> 01:13:22,664
Take that hat off
and come out wrestling.
1458
01:13:25,067 --> 01:13:26,602
(WELLING)
1459
01:13:27,669 --> 01:13:30,005
(CROWD BOOING)
1460
01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:41,016
(TRAIN WHISTLE)
1461
01:13:42,651 --> 01:13:44,153
You little shit.
1462
01:13:45,120 --> 01:13:47,689
You hit me in the nuts
one more time,
1463
01:13:47,689 --> 01:13:48,857
and I'm gonna kill you!
1464
01:13:48,857 --> 01:13:50,659
That's where I hit!
1465
01:13:50,659 --> 01:13:53,128
Hello, Mary!
Yeah, I'm fine.
1466
01:13:53,595 --> 01:13:55,631
I'm in Des Moines, Iowa.
1467
01:13:56,064 --> 01:13:57,533
Yeah.
1468
01:13:57,733 --> 01:13:59,535
No, I...
1469
01:13:59,701 --> 01:14:03,071
Mary,
I'm just trying
to earn a living
1470
01:14:03,071 --> 01:14:05,007
like anybody else!
1471
01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:31,700
ANDY: Are you married?
1472
01:14:31,700 --> 01:14:32,634
WAITER: Yeah.
1473
01:14:32,634 --> 01:14:34,670
When your wife was
having the babies,
1474
01:14:34,670 --> 01:14:37,606
did you ever go
somewhere else
and wrestle?
1475
01:14:39,041 --> 01:14:40,108
No.
1476
01:14:40,108 --> 01:14:41,844
God damn right, no!
1477
01:14:41,844 --> 01:14:43,912
Listen, just take
the rest of the
week off, okay?
1478
01:14:43,912 --> 01:14:47,549
Just take the
rest of the week off
and be with your wife.
1479
01:14:48,016 --> 01:14:51,987
A wife is someone
that you're not supposed
to leave from.
1480
01:14:52,721 --> 01:14:55,724
I'm in Kansas City
with a dwarf and a drunk.
1481
01:14:55,924 --> 01:14:59,528
I wish I could
love somebody the
way you love Mary.
1482
01:15:00,028 --> 01:15:01,563
Milton...
1483
01:15:02,698 --> 01:15:04,600
Don't love anybody.
1484
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:06,935
Not in this business.
1485
01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:10,138
(CHUCKLES)
The circus came to town.
1486
01:15:10,138 --> 01:15:12,140
You know what
that means? Huh?
1487
01:15:12,140 --> 01:15:15,911
It means the circus
left another town.
1488
01:15:18,514 --> 01:15:20,883
You would have
made a great midget.
1489
01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:22,784
You're sad enough.
1490
01:15:24,887 --> 01:15:27,155
ANDY: Everything I want
1491
01:15:27,155 --> 01:15:30,526
louses up every
other thing I want.
1492
01:15:32,194 --> 01:15:33,962
You understand
what I mean?
1493
01:15:34,062 --> 01:15:34,997
Mmm-hmm.
1494
01:15:34,997 --> 01:15:37,566
Look at this,
the midget understands.
1495
01:15:37,733 --> 01:15:41,837
You two ain't any smarter
or sadder here than
you were in New York.
1496
01:15:42,037 --> 01:15:43,705
I'm going to my room.
1497
01:15:43,705 --> 01:15:45,774
By the way, you don't
get what you want,
1498
01:15:45,774 --> 01:15:47,743
you get what you deserve.
1499
01:15:48,210 --> 01:15:49,678
Go to sleep.
Nobody ever said
1500
01:15:49,678 --> 01:15:52,314
anything in Kansas City
that was important.
1501
01:15:53,315 --> 01:15:57,920
I've always wanted
people I don't even know
to love me.
1502
01:16:00,088 --> 01:16:04,059
I don't even
like the people
I want to love me.
1503
01:16:04,059 --> 01:16:06,028
All those dopes!
1504
01:16:06,895 --> 01:16:09,965
Quit the tour.
Go home.
1505
01:16:10,899 --> 01:16:13,602
Let the dopes
love somebody else.
1506
01:16:13,936 --> 01:16:16,171
That's what freaks are for.
1507
01:16:17,706 --> 01:16:19,341
You're not a freak.
1508
01:16:24,913 --> 01:16:27,783
I was hoping
to find you here.
1509
01:16:28,083 --> 01:16:30,319
I saw you
wrestle tonight.
1510
01:16:31,086 --> 01:16:32,588
Hi.
1511
01:16:32,788 --> 01:16:34,056
Hi.
1512
01:16:34,089 --> 01:16:36,358
You're sexy and...
(CHUCKLES)
1513
01:16:36,625 --> 01:16:37,926
I'm drunk.
1514
01:16:38,327 --> 01:16:39,995
Perfect!
1515
01:16:40,696 --> 01:16:42,030
What's your name?
1516
01:16:42,030 --> 01:16:45,000
Arlene.
1517
01:16:45,233 --> 01:16:46,368
(LAUGHING)
1518
01:16:46,902 --> 01:16:49,304
Are you ready
to do things tonight
1519
01:16:49,304 --> 01:16:52,941
that you never dreamed
were possible?
1520
01:16:54,810 --> 01:16:58,213
I am ready for anything.
1521
01:16:58,947 --> 01:17:01,149
I hope so.
1522
01:17:02,017 --> 01:17:03,118
Arlene?
1523
01:17:03,118 --> 01:17:04,386
Uh-huh?
1524
01:17:04,753 --> 01:17:06,088
This is Milton.
1525
01:17:07,356 --> 01:17:10,692
Milton. Handle this.
1526
01:17:14,796 --> 01:17:16,832
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
1527
01:17:35,951 --> 01:17:37,653
Thanks.
1528
01:17:54,936 --> 01:17:56,405
(CLATTERING)
1529
01:18:00,809 --> 01:18:02,010
(CLATTERING)
1530
01:18:03,779 --> 01:18:05,347
Damn it.
1531
01:18:11,987 --> 01:18:13,789
(WINDOW SHATTERS)
1532
01:18:18,393 --> 01:18:21,763
Mary, it's me,
Errol Flynn!
1533
01:18:22,397 --> 01:18:26,068
Why did you break
the window? Hi!
1534
01:18:26,068 --> 01:18:28,470
Because you didn't
hear the pebbles.
1535
01:18:28,470 --> 01:18:29,304
Hi.
1536
01:18:29,304 --> 01:18:31,940
Why didn't you ring
the front doorbell?
1537
01:18:32,274 --> 01:18:34,776
Because I wanted
some time alone with you
1538
01:18:34,776 --> 01:18:36,745
without the whole
family around.
1539
01:18:36,745 --> 01:18:38,246
How are you?
1540
01:18:38,480 --> 01:18:40,248
Is that your stomach?
1541
01:18:41,950 --> 01:18:43,919
Yes, I look terrible!
1542
01:18:43,919 --> 01:18:45,287
Are you home for good?
1543
01:18:45,287 --> 01:18:46,321
Yeah.
1544
01:18:46,321 --> 01:18:49,357
I missed you
an awful lot, Andy.
1545
01:18:49,491 --> 01:18:51,293
Maybe I should
come in the house now.
1546
01:18:51,293 --> 01:18:53,929
Uh, yes,
I'll come down
and let you in.
1547
01:18:53,929 --> 01:18:55,230
Good.
Uh, Andy?
1548
01:18:55,230 --> 01:18:56,231
Yeah?
Listen.
1549
01:18:56,231 --> 01:18:57,499
When I get
to the front door,
1550
01:18:57,499 --> 01:18:58,400
you will be there,
won't you?
1551
01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:01,803
Because, I mean,
if this is a dream,
I will never forgive you!
1552
01:19:01,803 --> 01:19:03,071
Okay!
1553
01:19:03,138 --> 01:19:04,806
Andy?
Yeah?
1554
01:19:04,806 --> 01:19:06,408
I'm not gonna touch
my hair or anything.
1555
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:09,945
So when you see me,
just know that
I only look like this
1556
01:19:09,945 --> 01:19:10,912
because it's at night,
1557
01:19:10,912 --> 01:19:12,380
and you're not around,
and I'm pregnant.
1558
01:19:12,380 --> 01:19:15,851
I mean, otherwise,
I am really gorgeous, okay?
1559
01:19:15,851 --> 01:19:17,119
Okay!
1560
01:19:17,185 --> 01:19:18,887
Okay. Andy?
Yeah?
1561
01:19:18,887 --> 01:19:20,188
Are you as
excited as I am?
1562
01:19:20,188 --> 01:19:21,923
Will you open
the goddamn door?
1563
01:19:21,923 --> 01:19:24,826
I feel dumb down here
without a guitar!
1564
01:19:38,140 --> 01:19:39,508
Say the word "love."
1565
01:19:39,508 --> 01:19:40,475
Love.
1566
01:19:40,475 --> 01:19:43,378
Everywhere I went,
people said that word.
1567
01:19:43,445 --> 01:19:46,181
It only sounds right
when you say it.
1568
01:19:59,928 --> 01:20:01,263
Mmm-mmm.
1569
01:20:01,363 --> 01:20:03,532
Hi. I'm back.
1570
01:20:04,032 --> 01:20:05,500
Listen, I just
want to apologize
1571
01:20:05,500 --> 01:20:08,236
for all the trouble
that I've caused you.
1572
01:20:08,236 --> 01:20:10,438
I'll be here
in the morning
when you wake up,
1573
01:20:10,438 --> 01:20:12,841
and you'll see
that I've changed.
1574
01:20:13,408 --> 01:20:16,411
I can't undo what
I've already done.
1575
01:20:16,578 --> 01:20:19,581
Oh, but I'm ready
to make a new start.
1576
01:20:19,981 --> 01:20:22,117
Go back to sleep.
1577
01:20:42,103 --> 01:20:43,438
He's your son.
1578
01:20:43,438 --> 01:20:46,041
He just did
James Cagney wetting.
1579
01:20:46,041 --> 01:20:48,510
Oh, my God.
Look at him.
1580
01:20:48,977 --> 01:20:50,278
What's his name?
1581
01:20:50,478 --> 01:20:52,147
Well,
we have to name him.
1582
01:20:52,147 --> 01:20:54,850
Oh, yeah, but he's...
1583
01:20:54,850 --> 01:20:56,318
He's got
10 little fingers.
1584
01:20:56,318 --> 01:21:00,121
He's got a nose
and a mouth and
two eyes and two ears.
1585
01:21:00,889 --> 01:21:01,923
Can I?
1586
01:21:01,923 --> 01:21:02,891
Oh, sure.
1587
01:21:02,891 --> 01:21:06,061
Okay.
Come on, come on.
1588
01:21:06,461 --> 01:21:08,330
Yes. Hello.
1589
01:21:08,563 --> 01:21:10,599
Hello. Yeah.
1590
01:21:10,599 --> 01:21:12,367
Oh, we're gonna
have so much fun.
1591
01:21:12,567 --> 01:21:14,336
Are you happy?
1592
01:21:14,369 --> 01:21:16,104
I could be
in Yankee Stadium,
1593
01:21:16,104 --> 01:21:17,939
and play in front
of 80,000 people,
1594
01:21:17,939 --> 01:21:19,908
I'd never be
as happy as I am now.
1595
01:21:19,908 --> 01:21:21,376
(BABY COOS)
1596
01:21:22,177 --> 01:21:23,311
Aww.
1597
01:21:23,311 --> 01:21:24,379
Good.
1598
01:21:24,379 --> 01:21:25,480
Just some toast.
1599
01:21:25,480 --> 01:21:26,648
No, Mom.
Coffee is fine.
1600
01:21:26,648 --> 01:21:29,084
I have to be downtown
in 20 minutes.
1601
01:21:29,084 --> 01:21:30,485
You know, Andrew,
Tom would kill me
1602
01:21:30,485 --> 01:21:31,653
if he knew
I told you this,
1603
01:21:31,653 --> 01:21:34,322
but he said that
you have the potential
1604
01:21:34,322 --> 01:21:36,424
to be one of his
best salesmen.
1605
01:21:36,424 --> 01:21:38,493
Well, I'm learning
a lot from him.
1606
01:21:38,493 --> 01:21:40,896
Andy,
I thought you might
be interested in this.
1607
01:21:40,896 --> 01:21:43,231
We're starting
a community theater.
1608
01:21:43,298 --> 01:21:45,166
Why would I be
interested in that?
1609
01:21:45,166 --> 01:21:46,568
Well, they would
love having you,
1610
01:21:46,568 --> 01:21:48,336
and you'd be
in front of people.
1611
01:21:48,336 --> 01:21:49,971
Sweetheart, I'm
in front of the people
1612
01:21:49,971 --> 01:21:52,340
I want to be
in front of right now.
1613
01:21:54,276 --> 01:21:55,510
Mom.
1614
01:21:59,614 --> 01:22:03,184
I've never seen
a change in
a boy like that.
1615
01:22:04,419 --> 01:22:05,654
Yeah.
1616
01:22:06,621 --> 01:22:08,657
It sure happened fast.
1617
01:22:11,459 --> 01:22:14,129
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
1618
01:22:19,701 --> 01:22:22,203
That's an old proverb,
and I don't believe in it.
1619
01:22:22,203 --> 01:22:24,005
This guy is funny.
1620
01:22:25,073 --> 01:22:26,408
Did you ever meet him?
1621
01:22:26,408 --> 01:22:27,309
No.
1622
01:22:27,309 --> 01:22:29,244
I like Milton Berle.
He's so funny.
1623
01:22:29,244 --> 01:22:31,413
(IMITATING MILTON BERLE)
"What the hey? What the hey?"
1624
01:22:31,413 --> 01:22:32,514
Did you ever meet him?
1625
01:22:32,514 --> 01:22:34,649
ANDY: No.
Jerry Lester?
1626
01:22:34,649 --> 01:22:35,617
No.
1627
01:22:35,617 --> 01:22:37,118
I never got a chance
to meet anybody.
1628
01:22:37,118 --> 01:22:39,154
I was in the business
for 30 seconds.
1629
01:22:39,154 --> 01:22:41,156
(SCOFFS)
Could we just watch?
1630
01:22:41,156 --> 01:22:43,058
Why does everyone
have to talk?
1631
01:22:43,058 --> 01:22:44,592
What's the matter
with you, honey?
1632
01:22:44,592 --> 01:22:46,695
Mary's just tired, Andy.
1633
01:22:46,962 --> 01:22:49,965
TOM: You know,
this television
is really something.
1634
01:22:50,031 --> 01:22:53,234
We used to do all our
advertising in print.
1635
01:22:53,535 --> 01:22:55,470
But now,
with one commercial
1636
01:22:55,470 --> 01:22:59,407
on local TV, we can
reach 80,000 homes.
1637
01:23:00,008 --> 01:23:02,377
That makes your job
a lot easier, Andy.
1638
01:23:02,377 --> 01:23:03,411
Mmm-hmm.
1639
01:23:03,411 --> 01:23:05,981
There's a great western
on channel 5.
1640
01:23:07,248 --> 01:23:09,017
(CROWD SHOUTING ON TV)
1641
01:23:09,384 --> 01:23:10,585
Hey, Andy, look.
1642
01:23:10,585 --> 01:23:15,056
They have wrestling
on TV every week now.
It's really great.
1643
01:23:19,194 --> 01:23:22,530
Sherman,
could you just turn on
your god damn western?
1644
01:23:22,530 --> 01:23:24,065
(CHANNEL CLICKS)
1645
01:23:24,065 --> 01:23:25,133
Mary, you all right?
1646
01:23:25,133 --> 01:23:27,068
(INDIAN JOE WHOOPING ON TV)
1647
01:23:27,068 --> 01:23:28,636
I'm going to bed.
1648
01:23:30,305 --> 01:23:32,040
(BABY COOS)
1649
01:23:34,442 --> 01:23:38,380
For Christ's sake, Mary,
what's bothering you?
1650
01:23:39,514 --> 01:23:41,116
A telegram
came for you today.
1651
01:23:41,116 --> 01:23:44,252
A telegram.
Gee, I hope my parents
didn't die again.
1652
01:23:44,252 --> 01:23:45,553
Where is it?
1653
01:23:46,321 --> 01:23:47,522
I burned it.
1654
01:23:47,522 --> 01:23:49,090
You what?
1655
01:23:49,591 --> 01:23:50,725
It said there
was a spot for you
1656
01:23:50,725 --> 01:23:52,427
to wrestle on
national television.
1657
01:23:52,427 --> 01:23:54,229
It came from
Sidney Seltzer.
1658
01:23:54,796 --> 01:23:57,032
I don't want, uh,
any part of that.
1659
01:23:57,032 --> 01:24:00,735
Right.
The minute you leave,
I'm divorcing you.
1660
01:24:01,403 --> 01:24:02,804
Mary...
1661
01:24:05,273 --> 01:24:06,775
I'm not leaving.
1662
01:24:07,509 --> 01:24:09,310
(BABY COOING)
1663
01:24:21,756 --> 01:24:23,324
Please stay.
1664
01:24:27,295 --> 01:24:28,363
Have a nice day, Andy.
1665
01:24:28,363 --> 01:24:29,697
Yeah.
See you all tonight.
1666
01:24:29,697 --> 01:24:31,332
You forgot to pack this!
1667
01:24:34,769 --> 01:24:36,071
I was gonna
call you, Mary.
1668
01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:39,174
Stop sneaking
out of town, Andy.
1669
01:24:40,175 --> 01:24:41,376
Goodbye!
1670
01:24:41,376 --> 01:24:42,577
Andy, I...
1671
01:24:42,577 --> 01:24:44,279
MARY: Mom, shut up!
1672
01:24:45,380 --> 01:24:47,182
He knows
what he's doing!
1673
01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:50,418
My lawyer will
contact your lawyer.
1674
01:24:50,418 --> 01:24:52,087
Or whatever people do.
1675
01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:53,755
I just thought in
a couple of weeks...
1676
01:24:53,755 --> 01:24:55,590
Not this time!
1677
01:24:58,626 --> 01:25:01,262
(TEARFULLY) Hurry up!
You'll miss your train!
1678
01:25:08,169 --> 01:25:09,771
I have to
do this, Mary.
1679
01:25:09,771 --> 01:25:12,740
Andy...
Mom, stay out of it!
1680
01:25:15,243 --> 01:25:16,644
Get out!
1681
01:25:20,248 --> 01:25:22,217
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
1682
01:25:23,852 --> 01:25:25,787
(LOUD CHEERING)
1683
01:25:27,422 --> 01:25:29,524
Hi, this is
Dennis James at ringside.
1684
01:25:29,524 --> 01:25:31,426
There's something
going on here tonight.
1685
01:25:31,426 --> 01:25:33,294
You can feel it
in your bones!
1686
01:25:33,294 --> 01:25:35,663
Actually, you can
cut it with a knife.
1687
01:25:35,663 --> 01:25:39,667
The great Buddy Gibson
is already in the ring,
and he's waiting.
1688
01:25:39,667 --> 01:25:40,435
And as you can tell,
1689
01:25:40,435 --> 01:25:44,139
thousands of people here
in Madison Square Garden,
they're waiting.
1690
01:25:44,139 --> 01:25:45,306
And the millions
of you folks
1691
01:25:45,306 --> 01:25:46,441
watching
this first television
1692
01:25:46,441 --> 01:25:48,843
hook-up of wrestling,
we're waiting for...
1693
01:25:48,843 --> 01:25:51,746
Well, as a matter of fact,
I don't know what
we're waiting for.
1694
01:25:51,746 --> 01:25:53,848
Let me read to you from
the avalanche of publicity
1695
01:25:53,848 --> 01:25:57,152
we've been bombarded with
over the past three weeks.
1696
01:25:57,152 --> 01:25:58,419
Hear this.
1697
01:25:58,419 --> 01:26:01,422
"He was,
and is the wrestling
champion of the world.
1698
01:26:01,422 --> 01:26:03,224
"By divine right."
1699
01:26:03,458 --> 01:26:05,226
Ah, it's what
it says here, folks.
1700
01:26:05,226 --> 01:26:08,496
Now, also, he,
uh, hates violence.
1701
01:26:08,496 --> 01:26:10,832
He came close
to killing five men
1702
01:26:10,832 --> 01:26:12,600
because he hates violence.
1703
01:26:12,600 --> 01:26:16,704
"He's a lover
of all human beings,
hence his name,
1704
01:26:16,704 --> 01:26:17,739
"The Lover."
1705
01:26:17,739 --> 01:26:19,908
Now, The Lover.
What does The Lover do?
1706
01:26:19,908 --> 01:26:23,244
He kills you with love,
is what he does.
1707
01:26:23,344 --> 01:26:25,847
This crowd is getting
restless here in
Madison Square Garden.
1708
01:26:25,847 --> 01:26:28,449
And speaking of this crowd,
it's more like the crowd
1709
01:26:28,449 --> 01:26:30,785
for a Broadway opening night
than for a wrestling match.
1710
01:26:30,785 --> 01:26:34,923
Look around.
You can count the tuxedoes
and count the stars.
1711
01:26:34,923 --> 01:26:38,459
There is something
definitely going on
here tonight!
1712
01:26:38,459 --> 01:26:39,928
There's the chant
of the hands.
1713
01:26:39,928 --> 01:26:42,330
Let's see
what's gonna happen!
1714
01:26:42,463 --> 01:26:44,365
(BELL RINGS)
1715
01:26:46,868 --> 01:26:51,506
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please!
1716
01:26:51,606 --> 01:26:54,309
Will everyone be quiet?
1717
01:26:54,309 --> 01:26:56,244
The Lover will not come out
1718
01:26:56,244 --> 01:27:00,615
unless there is
complete silence!
1719
01:27:03,384 --> 01:27:04,819
(NOISE DIES DOWN)
1720
01:27:05,687 --> 01:27:07,455
Thank you.
1721
01:27:07,855 --> 01:27:09,824
(FANFARE PLAYING)
1722
01:27:18,700 --> 01:27:21,002
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
1723
01:27:36,251 --> 01:27:37,852
Well, if you folks
just tuned in,
1724
01:27:37,852 --> 01:27:40,255
this is not
Queen for a Day.
1725
01:27:40,255 --> 01:27:43,358
This is wrestling from
Madison Square Garden,
believe it or not,
1726
01:27:43,358 --> 01:27:47,562
and this is what the
well-dressed wrestler
will wear this year.
1727
01:28:55,863 --> 01:28:57,432
DENNIS JAMES: I don't
know what he's spraying,
1728
01:28:57,432 --> 01:28:59,367
whether he's got
a bug killer there, flint,
1729
01:28:59,367 --> 01:29:01,069
or whether that's
his own personal cologne.
1730
01:29:01,069 --> 01:29:05,740
But whatever it is, he's
delighting this crowd,
I'll tell you that!
1731
01:29:22,357 --> 01:29:24,525
Well, he's got quite
a charisma, this boy.
1732
01:29:24,525 --> 01:29:26,427
He's got a lot of charisma.
That's The Lover!
1733
01:29:26,427 --> 01:29:28,529
And very agile at
getting back into the ring.
1734
01:29:28,529 --> 01:29:29,897
(BELL RINGING)
1735
01:29:30,798 --> 01:29:32,633
Ladies and Gentlemen,
1736
01:29:32,633 --> 01:29:34,969
this is the main event
of the evening.
1737
01:29:34,969 --> 01:29:38,973
Two out of three falls,
one hour time limit,
1738
01:29:38,973 --> 01:29:42,143
for the championship
of the world.
1739
01:29:42,143 --> 01:29:44,078
And your
main event referee,
1740
01:29:44,078 --> 01:29:49,784
former great,
U.S. Champion,
Count Billy Varga!
1741
01:29:50,385 --> 01:29:51,853
(BELL RINGS)
1742
01:29:52,120 --> 01:29:54,055
In this corner on my left,
1743
01:29:54,055 --> 01:29:56,958
from Washington, D.C.,
1744
01:29:56,958 --> 01:29:58,760
your favorite and mine,
1745
01:29:58,760 --> 01:30:03,398
the great, undefeated
world's champion,
1746
01:30:03,398 --> 01:30:06,868
Buddy Gibson!
1747
01:30:08,569 --> 01:30:09,804
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
1748
01:30:09,804 --> 01:30:11,706
And his opponent
on my right,
1749
01:30:11,706 --> 01:30:15,576
appearing in America
for the first time.
1750
01:30:15,576 --> 01:30:18,579
Self-proclaimed
by divine right
1751
01:30:18,579 --> 01:30:22,016
as the wrestling
champion of the world,
1752
01:30:22,016 --> 01:30:25,453
The Lover!
1753
01:30:36,431 --> 01:30:40,101
No biting, no gouging.
Go get 'em.
1754
01:30:40,101 --> 01:30:41,702
You understand?
1755
01:30:41,702 --> 01:30:42,970
(CROWD CHEERING)
1756
01:30:42,970 --> 01:30:45,807
Now, that's why they
call him The Lover.
1757
01:30:45,807 --> 01:30:47,775
(BELL RINGS)
1758
01:31:04,225 --> 01:31:06,594
(LOUD CHEERING)
1759
01:31:34,555 --> 01:31:36,624
MURIEL: Ohh! Oh, oh!
1760
01:31:36,724 --> 01:31:38,059
Ohh!
1761
01:31:44,131 --> 01:31:45,900
Andy, hurry up!
1762
01:31:45,900 --> 01:31:47,201
I'm coming,
Milton, I'm coming!
1763
01:31:47,201 --> 01:31:50,638
Come on!
Tomorrow morning,
10 a.m., Plaza Hotel.
1764
01:31:50,638 --> 01:31:52,039
I'll give you
a press conference.
1765
01:31:52,039 --> 01:31:54,842
I'll tell you everything!
Give him a chance!
1766
01:31:54,842 --> 01:31:56,010
Hey, where is he?
1767
01:31:56,010 --> 01:31:57,245
He's getting dressed.
1768
01:31:57,245 --> 01:31:57,845
Sidney!
1769
01:31:57,845 --> 01:32:00,648
Hey, kid,
I just saw a guy from
the Ed Sullivan show!
1770
01:32:00,648 --> 01:32:01,949
They want you
on the 23rd!
1771
01:32:01,949 --> 01:32:03,518
Everybody wants you!
1772
01:32:03,518 --> 01:32:04,819
You're a star!
1773
01:32:04,919 --> 01:32:06,988
ANDY: Say it again!
I wanna hear it again!
1774
01:32:06,988 --> 01:32:08,055
You're a star!
1775
01:32:08,055 --> 01:32:10,558
Milton, you say it.
I wanna hear it
with an accent!
1776
01:32:10,558 --> 01:32:13,961
You're a star!
Get your ass out here!
1777
01:32:14,562 --> 01:32:15,596
Toncio!
1778
01:32:15,596 --> 01:32:17,632
Aha!
How do I look?
1779
01:32:17,632 --> 01:32:19,166
Unfortunately,
like my son.
1780
01:32:19,166 --> 01:32:20,535
Thank you.
1781
01:32:20,535 --> 01:32:21,869
(LAUGHING)
1782
01:32:22,570 --> 01:32:23,638
Here's to you, kid!
1783
01:32:23,638 --> 01:32:26,140
Thank you.
This is worth millions!
1784
01:32:26,641 --> 01:32:28,776
Oh, God, I feel tall!
1785
01:32:29,777 --> 01:32:31,646
Here's to
your new height!
1786
01:32:32,146 --> 01:32:33,648
(LAUGHS)
1787
01:32:33,681 --> 01:32:36,284
You got
everything now, kid!
1788
01:32:36,751 --> 01:32:39,220
Almost everything.
Okay, let's go.
1789
01:33:37,945 --> 01:33:40,047
Mary!
Oh, my God.
1790
01:33:40,047 --> 01:33:42,216
Oh, my God.
1791
01:33:43,684 --> 01:33:45,353
Here's your daddy.
1792
01:33:46,687 --> 01:33:48,189
Hello.
1793
01:33:48,623 --> 01:33:51,292
Hello. Yes.
1794
01:33:51,359 --> 01:33:52,326
(KISSES)
1795
01:33:52,326 --> 01:33:54,161
Does this mean
that you're not mad?
1796
01:33:54,161 --> 01:33:55,963
Are you kidding?
1797
01:33:57,131 --> 01:33:59,166
Put down the kid.
1798
01:34:03,237 --> 01:34:04,805
Miss me?
1799
01:34:04,805 --> 01:34:06,340
I missed you.
1800
01:34:06,807 --> 01:34:08,175
I did.
1801
01:34:10,177 --> 01:34:11,345
Come here.
1802
01:34:11,345 --> 01:34:12,813
Yeah?
1803
01:34:13,681 --> 01:34:16,117
That's for leaving town
like a bank robber!
1804
01:34:16,117 --> 01:34:18,853
And that's for being
such an asshole
to your wife!
1805
01:34:18,853 --> 01:34:19,687
All right, hold it,
hold it, hold it.
1806
01:34:19,687 --> 01:34:22,990
I don't think that violence
is such a good thing
for a child to witness.
1807
01:34:22,990 --> 01:34:26,394
Shut up and take those
ridiculous clothes off.
1808
01:34:26,394 --> 01:34:27,795
And that stupid wig.
1809
01:34:27,795 --> 01:34:29,196
You're with
your wife now!
1810
01:34:29,196 --> 01:34:31,165
All right.
Here are the rules.
1811
01:34:31,165 --> 01:34:33,134
You do what
you have to do.
1812
01:34:33,200 --> 01:34:34,335
We'll have
midgets to dinner.
1813
01:34:34,335 --> 01:34:36,203
We'll have Indians
over for drinks.
1814
01:34:36,203 --> 01:34:38,105
But when you and I
are alone,
1815
01:34:38,105 --> 01:34:39,140
you're you and I'm me,
1816
01:34:39,140 --> 01:34:43,044
and Andrew gets to watch
two people in love
love each other.
1817
01:34:43,044 --> 01:34:44,445
It'll be good for him.
1818
01:34:46,080 --> 01:34:48,949
Take off those
stupid pants!
1819
01:34:51,385 --> 01:34:53,154
(LAUGHS)
1820
01:34:55,389 --> 01:34:56,691
Fur lined!
1821
01:34:56,691 --> 01:34:59,260
Well, I have to feel the
part all the way down.
1822
01:35:00,828 --> 01:35:02,430
Come here, lover!
1823
01:35:06,967 --> 01:35:08,335
If there are panties
under there,
1824
01:35:08,335 --> 01:35:11,005
I'm going
back to Ohio.
1824
01:35:12,305 --> 01:36:12,736
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