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1
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,046
What are you doing?
2
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,216
They started
showering in gym class.
3
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:18,519
♪ Yes, no, maybe
4
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:21,222
♪ I don't know
5
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:24,658
♪ Can you repeat the question?
6
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,827
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
7
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,263
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
8
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,698
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
9
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:33,701
♪ And you're not so big
10
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,370
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
11
00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,372
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
12
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,841
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
13
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,611
♪ And you're not so big
14
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:48,282
♪ Life is unfair.
15
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,721
: Could you pass the
peas, please?
16
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,425
:
Thank you.
17
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,061
: You're welcome.
18
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,097
Hal.
19
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,899
:
All right, boys, that's enough.
20
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,474
Do you think for once
21
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:16,076
we could have a civilized
conversation during dinner,
22
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:18,112
free of sound effects?
23
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:20,581
Your mother's right. I don't
think it's asking too much
24
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,483
for us to have some
nice dinner conversation.
25
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,323
Malcolm, how was school today?
26
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:30,791
History class was cool.
27
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,160
Really? Tell us about it.
28
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,427
Jimmy Perkins
kicked the crap
29
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,963
out of Fred Nason right
outside our window.
30
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,631
REESE: He beat up Fred Nason?
That dude's huge.
31
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:38,732
I know! I couldn't
believe it.
32
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:39,767
Fred knocked Jimmy's hat off,
33
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,502
and Jimmy turned and
punched him in the face,
34
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,103
like, five times in a row
in, like, a second.
35
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,838
Fred fell in the bush
and then he just started
36
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:45,973
hitting him and hitting
him and hitting him.
37
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,275
It was awesome.
38
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:49,009
Jimmy Perkins is crazy.
39
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,644
It's like I've always
told you boys--
40
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:51,979
crazy beats big every time.
41
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:08,095
So, how was your day, dear?
42
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:09,197
Hey, Eric, it's Francis.
43
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,198
How's Alaska?
44
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,465
Francis, where are you?
45
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,834
You were supposed to be here
two weeks ago.
46
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,303
I know, but no one
will pick me up.
47
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,638
I ran out of money and had to
work tarring roofs for a week.
48
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,972
Apparently there's
a serial killer
49
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,474
loose in Idaho
who looks just like me.
50
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,809
You'd better get here soon.
51
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,544
I don't know how much longer
they'll hold the job.
52
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:24,678
I'm almost there.
53
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,014
Listen, do I take
the Provincial Highway 99
54
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,483
or do I take the 27
to Provincial Highway 12?
55
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:30,818
What? Where are you?
56
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:31,985
I'm close to British Columbia.
57
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,221
I'm in Bellingham, Washington.
58
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,689
Francis, you're still
2,000 miles away.
59
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,658
What? No way.
I got to be near Alaska.
60
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,361
I just exchanged all my money
for Alaskan dollars.
61
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:42,996
There's no such thing
as Alaskan dollars.
62
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,199
Sir!
63
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,737
Are you almost
finished with that?
64
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,005
What have you got in mind?
65
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:54,842
I need you to watch the boys
next Tuesday night.
66
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,344
I've joined a book club.
67
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,078
Oh, Lois,
you don't want to do that.
68
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:01,014
I joined a record club once,
and they hounded me for years.
69
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,683
It's not that
kind of a club, Hal.
70
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,654
This is women from school--
adults-- discussing books.
71
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,521
Oh.
72
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:08,722
I live in a house
73
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:09,890
filled with boys.
74
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:10,758
I listen to boy talk
75
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:11,825
and boy noises.
76
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,394
I need to spend some time
with females.
77
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:14,395
Mm-hmm.
78
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:16,364
Whenever I see them
at the PTA meetings,
79
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,533
they always invite me to do
things with them and I never go.
80
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:20,501
Mm-hmm, yeah.
81
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,170
I need to do this for my sanity.
82
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,706
Yeah.
Hee-hee-hee-hee, yes.
83
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:28,409
Yeah.
Are you even
listening to me?
84
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,910
Of course I am.
85
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,245
Here's what I think:
86
00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:33,381
this book club is
a great idea, Lois.
87
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,616
It's about time you did
something like this.
88
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:38,352
You have a brilliant
and beautiful mind
89
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:39,553
that needs challenging.
90
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:42,590
I just hope those other
women can keep up with you.
91
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,626
Now, make a wish.
92
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,064
Okay, I left the phone number
on the counter.
93
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,733
The dishes are soaking
in the sink.
94
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,435
I took the batteries
out of the remote
95
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,203
and I put them
in the smoke detector--
96
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,405
just for tonight.
97
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:58,639
Would you relax, honey?
98
00:03:58,672 --> 00:03:59,773
You're off the clock.
99
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:01,909
This is supposed to
be your night out.
100
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,277
Just enjoy yourself, huh?
101
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,144
Stop worrying.
Yeah, Mom.
Have fun.
102
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,913
Oh, oh, oh.
103
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:06,914
Uh, remember to take
104
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,749
the garbage cans
to the curb tonight.
105
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,284
Would you please
stop worrying?
106
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:11,419
Just go have some fun.
107
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,453
Now?
108
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:16,790
No. Let's let Mom
get a few blocks away.
109
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,326
Right. This could
be a trick.
110
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,160
What are you guys
talking about?
111
00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:22,496
We've got some fireworks
buried in the backyard.
112
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,665
We're going to dig them up
while Mom's gone.
113
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,099
Tracy Hines is having a party
114
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,735
tomorrow night and
we're not invited.
115
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,604
Our justice will be swift
but fair.
116
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:31,839
We'll be fine!
117
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,308
Okay, I don't want
to screw this up.
118
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,143
Lois needs time to herself.
119
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,911
She deserves a night out.
120
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:41,582
She'll have a great time
and then come home all happy.
121
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:45,018
I just have to somehow
keep the boys under control.
122
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,154
Oh, what am I talking about?
They're good kids.
123
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,256
What am I talking about
"what am I talking about"?
124
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,325
They're monsters!
125
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,594
They'll destroy everything
and then ruin Lois's night,
126
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,964
and then, then she'll feel
like we can't be trusted
on our own.
127
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:59,367
She'll never want to have
a night out again,
128
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,001
and it will all be my fault!
129
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,136
We're going out back.
130
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,538
You're not going anywhere.
131
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:05,939
You're going to stay
132
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,175
in your room all night
with the door shut! Now go!
133
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,310
Go!
134
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,782
Mmm. This cheddar is wonderful.
135
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,849
It is good.
136
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,118
So, I really
liked the book.
137
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,653
Really?
138
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,255
Oh, Karen, let's have
some more of that wine.
139
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,459
I like the way
the author shifted
140
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,395
the voice of the narrator
from character to character.
141
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,062
Oh...
142
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,832
well, I'll just have to
take your word on that.
143
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,734
I didn't really read the book.
144
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,035
Oh.
145
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,705
Was anyone else confused
by those flashbacks?
146
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,677
Am I the only one
who read the book?
147
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:48,516
Actually, Lois, we don't make it
mandatory to read the book.
148
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,217
What?
I mean, we're all busy.
149
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,686
But that shouldn't
prevent us
150
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,755
from enjoying a
relaxing evening
151
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,824
every once in a while.
152
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,693
Lois, don't you feel you deserve
153
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,530
one night away
from the bickering,
154
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,932
the yelling
and the TV blaring?
155
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,199
Away from all
156
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,368
the stupid little problems
157
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,872
that can't seem to be solved
without you?
158
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,877
Little more.
159
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,625
Oh, thank you.
160
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,126
Thank you for stopping.
161
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,928
Oh, glad to.
My name's Roy.
162
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,897
I'm Francis.
God, it's freezing out there.
163
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,933
I've been standing in that same
stretch of road for six hours.
164
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,803
People were actually flipping
me off as they drove past me.
165
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,705
Why would they do that?
166
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,707
So, how far you going?
167
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,941
Mamu.
168
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,042
I'm going up to Green River.
169
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,478
I can take you almost
the whole way.
170
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,979
Oh, my God, really?
171
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:55,749
It's taken me the last
three days to get 20 miles.
172
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,417
:
Thank you.
173
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,452
You okay?
174
00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,621
Yeah. It's just...
175
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,956
people aren't very nice.
176
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,391
You want some coffee?
177
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,927
Yes.
178
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,463
And when I was leaving,
179
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,932
my mom and I are yelling
and screaming at each other
180
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,568
and she's still finding
the time to tell the cab driver
181
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:16,403
which route to take
to the bus station.
182
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,805
She's a total control freak.
183
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,006
She sounds like
she's afraid.
184
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,941
What would my mom
have to be afraid of?
185
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,576
Well, she could be afraid
186
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,845
that if she doesn't control
every aspect of her life
187
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,947
or the lives of the
people she cares about,
188
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,616
that horrible things
will happen.
189
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,150
Like what horrible things?
190
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,785
Well, maybe her oldest son
191
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,821
moving 5,000 miles
away from her?
192
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,023
All right, you got me there.
193
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,691
You're pretty smart.
194
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,827
Well, I'm on the road
18 hours a day.
195
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,429
Gives me a lot of time
to think about things,
196
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,098
about people, why they
do the things they do.
197
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,200
I'm kind of a wannabe
psychiatrist.
198
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,169
Well, I'm just glad
to finally be out of it.
199
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,004
I got a line
that I'm not going to cross
200
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,541
and if anyone tries to push me
across it, I'm gone.
201
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:54,542
Well, sure,
202
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,510
everybody's got a line.
203
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:59,279
But what's interesting is,
everyone's line is different.
204
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,447
Sometimes it moves.
205
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,950
I mean, look at your
situation right here.
206
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:06,353
It is freezing cold, there's
no other cars on the road.
207
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,855
Hypothetically, if I said
208
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,356
"Put on a curly, red wig
209
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,491
or I'll throw you
out of the truck,"
210
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:14,461
are you really going to go
back out into the cold?
211
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,896
Yeah, but that's ridiculous.
212
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,331
You can't use a silly example
like that to prove...
213
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,201
You're kidding.
214
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:25,939
Okay, okay.
215
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,813
You haven't made a sound
in a half an hour!
216
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,081
What's going on in here?
217
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,883
Nothing.
I expect perfect behavior
218
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,517
out of you boys tonight.
219
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,386
Trust me, if you try anything--
anything at all--
220
00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:44,124
I will be on you like
a rainbow on an oil slick!
221
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:51,732
Okay, this is good.
222
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,601
You sent them a message.
223
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,003
Fired a shot across their bow.
224
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,405
Now they know who's in charge.
225
00:08:58,438 --> 00:08:59,740
Maybe I was too harsh.
226
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,041
If the boys push back,
227
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,343
they might do something
ten times worse
228
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,178
and spoil everything for Lois.
229
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,447
Don't go soft.
230
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,585
All these boys understand
is the iron fist.
231
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:14,955
No. I need to get them
on my side.
232
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:18,391
Dewey, you be lookout
while we dig up the fireworks.
233
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,793
What's going on with Dad?
234
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:20,928
I don't know.
235
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,030
Maybe he's dealing
with something at work.
236
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,431
I hope he's
going to be okay.
237
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,533
At his age, carrying around
that kind of tension
238
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,567
can't be good for you.
239
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,236
Whoa! Dad's here.
240
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,472
Who wants ice cream?
241
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:37,444
So, I come home
after working a ten-hour shift
242
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,779
and I see my boys,
243
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,447
and they're
covered with grass
244
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,783
and they're covered with
paint, and they look at me
245
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,885
and you know what
all they can say is?
246
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,654
"Where's dinner?"
247
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,487
Oh, yeah.
248
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,656
Oh, yeah.
249
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,290
Too much is
expected of us.
250
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,226
Well, our society
is just so screwed up.
251
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:56,964
30 years ago, you could just
at least pick something
252
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,065
and go with it.
253
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,467
A housewife,
a career woman, sex slave.
254
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:04,437
But now you're supposed to do
everything, and it's impossible!
255
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,907
Unless you're
Lillian Miller.
256
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,941
Oh, yeah.
257
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,476
You know, if it
weren't for me,
258
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:10,744
my family would be naked,
259
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,345
living in trees,
eating berries.
260
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,982
I mean, do they appreciate
what I do for them? No!
261
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,149
No.
262
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,250
Lillian Miller's family
263
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,186
just surprised her
with a trip to Spain.
264
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,187
Really? No kidding.
265
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,454
You know, the other day
266
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,290
I discovered a two-
inch long hair
267
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,758
growing out of my shoulder.
268
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,760
I mean, how long
has that been there?
269
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:30,030
I don't even have time
to put myself together
in the morning.
270
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,498
Lillian Miller...
271
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:36,003
brought 20 homemade cakes
to the school bake sale.
272
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,638
I had those.
273
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:41,174
They were delicious.
274
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:46,146
The woman just cooks like a god,
but she never puts on a pound.
275
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,950
You can't be 45
and still be a size two.
276
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,452
That's children sizes.
That's for children!
277
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,553
And Lillian!
278
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:54,454
Yeah.
279
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,388
You know, ladies,
280
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,190
I just realized something.
281
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,693
Society isn't the thing
that's making us miserable.
282
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,361
I mean, hell, we're society.
283
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,662
Uh-huh, yeah.
284
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,231
No, no.
285
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:07,868
Every single one of our
problems can be traced back
286
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,637
to that tight-assed,
overachieving,
287
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:15,843
marathon-running,
master chef,
Lillian Miller.
288
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,213
♪ Mademoiselle
from Armentieres ♪
289
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:21,548
♪ Parlez vous
290
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,083
♪ Mademoiselle
from Armentieres ♪
291
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,484
♪ Parlez vous
292
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,919
♪ She got the palm
and croix de guerre ♪
293
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,387
♪ For washing
soldiers' underwear ♪
294
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,757
♪ Hinky-dinky, parlez vous.
295
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,892
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
What?
296
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,161
It's "Hinky-dinky,
parlez vous."
297
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,362
That's what I said, Roy.
298
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,563
No. You said,
"Inky-dinky."
299
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,265
Now you've got
to start over.
300
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,499
I'm not starting over.
301
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,600
It's freezing out there.
302
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,635
I can barely feel
my lips anymore.
303
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,374
♪ Mademoiselle
from Armentieres ♪
304
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,742
♪ Parlez vous
305
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:50,410
♪ Mademoiselle
from Armentieres ♪
306
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:51,244
♪ Parlez...
307
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,415
Thanks for
the ice cream, dad.
308
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,184
Oh, you're welcome, Dewey.
309
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,087
Don't worry about this mess.
I'll take care of it.
310
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,555
Boys, just sit there
and... relax.
311
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,393
All right,
what the hell is going on?
312
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,560
I'm not sure, but I think
313
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,862
he's feeling guilty
about something.
314
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,630
Maybe we can exploit it.
315
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:12,465
How?
Why don't we send
Dewey in there crying
316
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,567
about the train set
Mom put in the attic?
317
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,269
Mom didn't put a train set
in the attic.
318
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,405
Exactly. When he's up
there trying to find it,
319
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,973
you and I can dig up
the fireworks
320
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:20,941
before mom gets home.
321
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,709
Dewey, we need you to cry.
322
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,878
But it's got to be the
right kind of crying.
323
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,446
Not sobbing,
more of a whiny sound
324
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,714
with a penetrating quality.
325
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,717
Give me a moment.
326
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,119
Okay, that was a good idea.
327
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,821
The boys are happy.
328
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,789
I think you've got them
motivated to behave themselves,
329
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,624
and, and Lois is,
is going to see
330
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,893
that I can handle them
without her.
331
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:40,961
Are you kidding me?
332
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,662
You've gone soft.
333
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,798
You've totally
lost the boys' respect.
334
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,299
Lois isn't going to like this.
335
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,467
Come on.
336
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,002
They're under control.
337
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,503
But what if they aren't?
338
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,339
What if they're
just pretending to behave
339
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,673
so they can set you up?
340
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,844
You've got to
occupy these boys,
341
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,412
keep them so busy,
they don't have time
to get in trouble.
342
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,848
How am I going
to keep them busy?
343
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,649
Well, you'd better
find a way.
344
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:05,685
Dad, Dewey really
wants you to...
345
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:08,255
Boys, let's spend a
little time together.
346
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,190
We can, uh... Ah!
I know, I know!
347
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,859
We can, uh, do
some calisthenics.
348
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,294
What?
Come on, you boys
love to exercise.
349
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,629
But I just ate
a ton of ice cream.
350
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,298
All the more reason.
351
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,766
You are starting to get
a little flabby. Come on.
352
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,303
I'm too full.
353
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,873
Well, when you start moving,
you'll feel better!
354
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,607
Let's go! One, two.
355
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,441
One, two.
356
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,410
One, two.
One, two.
357
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,381
Stupid, stupid.
358
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,782
It was a terrible idea.
359
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,350
It was a great idea.
360
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,552
A great idea
poorly executed.
361
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:42,789
Terrible idea,
terrible execution.
362
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,691
Why don't you just lock
them in the bathroom
363
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,294
till Lois gets home,
and be done with it?!
364
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,899
Shh!
365
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,033
Look at that house.
366
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,701
It's perfect.
367
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:58,238
No, no, no!
368
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,540
We didn't come here
for mindless vandalism.
369
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,910
We came to screw
up her car.
370
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,077
Let's see how she feels
371
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:06,246
when she's ten minutes
late for carpool
372
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,881
like a real person.
373
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,582
She probably
won't even be able
374
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,919
to get out of bed
in the morning.
375
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,054
Yeah, this time next year
376
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,156
she's going to be
living in a trailer
377
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,725
with a little ceramic donkey
in the front yard.
378
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,794
Oh, shh!
379
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,435
Shh!
380
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,174
She's wearing pearls
to make cookies?
381
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,442
Doilies?
382
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,945
What kind of a monster
is this woman?
383
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,613
Oh, God, those
cookies smell good.
384
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,382
Let's kill her
and eat them.
385
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,384
Karen...
386
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,719
why don't you go
stand guard?
387
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,057
Come on.
388
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,160
Shh! Shh!
389
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,267
Shh!
390
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,606
Ooh.
391
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,809
One of us should probably
know something about cars.
392
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,045
Ah, doesn't matter, just
pull some of the wires.
393
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,580
Let's get out of here.
394
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:19,819
Karen, Karen.
395
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:20,820
You got to stop.
396
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:21,989
Karen.
397
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,823
You got to settle down.
398
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,126
Whoa!
399
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,260
Karen, why don't you see
400
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,963
if you can say
the alphabet backwards.
401
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:33,166
Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q
402
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,836
P, O, N, M, L, K, J, I,
H, G, F, E, D, C, B, A.
403
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,140
I've been pulled over
a few times.
404
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,475
Hey! Lillian's gone.
405
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:43,876
What do you mean
Lillian's gone?
406
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,781
Run!
407
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,645
This is a pointless exercise.
You haven't proven a thing.
408
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,282
You certainly haven't determined
what my limits are.
409
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,550
None of this
has bothered me.
410
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,885
And if you think it has,
the joke is on you.
411
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,021
Clench.
412
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,729
That's the third time
413
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,231
he drove
down that alley.
414
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,067
He knows we're in here.
415
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,468
This is gross.
416
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,037
I can't believe
I'm wearing open-toed shoes.
417
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:48,007
:
I can't believe I'm hiding
from the cops in a Dumpster.
418
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,878
I just wanted to
talk about books.
419
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:56,249
Oh, and it was
such a good book, too.
420
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,552
The foreshadowing was effective
without being heavy-handed,
421
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,488
the characters were, were flawed
422
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,056
but compelling,
423
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,657
and the entire story
was brimming with insight
424
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:09,096
:
into the human condition.
425
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:11,864
But how did you even
find time to read it?
426
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:14,067
Your family sounds
so horrible.
427
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,868
I was lying.
428
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:21,273
I made all that stuff up
so that I would fit in.
429
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,910
They're wonderful.
430
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:28,013
I mean, they're idiots,
but at least they try.
431
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,117
They wanted me to have
this nice evening,
432
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,718
and look what
I did with it.
433
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:34,954
What are you doing?
434
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,089
You'll see.
435
00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:38,291
Go home to your family
and hug them for me.
436
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,559
They sound wonderful.
437
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:42,362
Hi, piggies!
438
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,464
Over here!
439
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,266
Here, piggy, piggy, piggy.
440
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,572
Come on!
441
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,641
Show me what you got!
442
00:17:56,143 --> 00:18:00,280
Am I supposed to be afraid
of an electric shaver?
443
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,486
NARRATOR:
It's lighter
than most other minerals...
444
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,289
Why is he making us watch
a documentary about salt?
445
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,424
Would you rather still be locked
in the bathroom?
446
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,726
Or be chased by
the hug monster?
447
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,296
Will you just
do something?
I'm trying.
448
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,831
But every time we make a move,
he's two steps ahead of us.
449
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,066
He's impossible to predict.
450
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,169
At least with Mom,
you get a little consistency.
451
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,404
But Dad's operating
on a whole other plane.
452
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,875
Hey, they put salt
on French fries.
453
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,511
Ground them.
454
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,313
Cut off their
food supply.
455
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,282
They just need love.
456
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,883
Give them the belt.
457
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,696
These are precious years!
458
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,664
Get in the car and go.
459
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,481
Shut up!
460
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:12,319
Okay, that's it.
461
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,357
I am going to take a bath.
462
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:21,194
I'm asking you boys
one last time to behave.
463
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:22,329
Not for me
464
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,063
but for your mother.
465
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,399
After all she does for you,
466
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,335
one night of peace
shouldn't be too much
467
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,836
to ask for.
468
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:33,940
So if you love her,
you will do this for her.
469
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,816
Wow, Francis,
470
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,718
I've never had anyone
empty the box before.
471
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,053
I'm out of props.
472
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,154
You know,
I wasn't on board
473
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,689
with your little
experiment at first,
474
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:50,757
but I got to admit,
475
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,659
I learned a lot
about myself tonight.
476
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,561
I mean, who am I
to judge other people
477
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,162
for the choices they make?
478
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,264
You know, for now on
479
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,098
I'm going to be a little
more understanding
480
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,567
and a lot more humble.
481
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,535
You want to stop
for some dinner?
482
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,937
What, like this?
483
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:05,905
Sure.
484
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,940
Why not like this?
485
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,776
Have you ever thought
about writing a book?
486
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,978
Because I'm sure there's
a lot of people...
Hey, Myrna.
487
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,316
What time's the pageant?
488
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,188
Fluffy's collar?
489
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,223
Mom said he ran away.
490
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,458
Get out of there, Dewey.
491
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,895
Tracy really
should have invited us.
492
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,097
This is what people get
for being rude.
493
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,932
Okay, we'll hide these
in the closet tonight.
494
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,634
When we get out,
we'll cover up the hole,
495
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,635
and by the time Mom's home,
496
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,969
we'll be in bed
sleeping like babies.
497
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,237
LOIS:
Boys!
498
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:40,807
Fireworks?!
499
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,975
Fireworks?!
500
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,414
How did she...?
I don't know.
501
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,982
You boys are in so much trouble.
502
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,151
I can't leave you
alone for a second!
503
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:53,320
I guess next time I go out,
504
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:55,288
I'll have to chain you
to the floor.
505
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:58,758
We tell you to behave,
and you don't even
pretend to listen!
506
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,793
You might as well
cut off your ears
507
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,995
and throw them in the trash
for as little as you use them.
508
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,465
You are grounded
for the next month!
509
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:06,966
OFFICER:
Get down on the ground
510
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,568
with your hands
behind your head!
511
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,737
And while you're
being punished,
512
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:15,274
I hope your friends
are doing all sorts of fun stuff
513
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:18,144
because you won't
be doing any of it!
514
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,079
You are going to suffer!
515
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,648
No TV!
516
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,483
Oh, I should get out there.
No visitors!
517
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:24,917
Nah, you'd just screw it up.
518
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,919
Good call.
36632
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