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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,660 --> 00:00:03,393 Champagne, a champagne, 2 00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:07,363 a champagne with a packet of Splenda in it. 3 00:00:07,432 --> 00:00:10,366 - You know what I call this drink? - A waste of champagne? 4 00:00:10,435 --> 00:00:12,869 No. A Dr. Cooper. 5 00:00:14,039 --> 00:00:15,238 Because... 6 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:17,874 He's also sweet and bubbly. 7 00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:20,643 All right. 8 00:00:20,712 --> 00:00:23,246 A... a toast to Sheldon and Amy 9 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,482 and the publication of your super-asymmetry paper. 10 00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:27,517 We are so proud of you guys. 11 00:00:27,586 --> 00:00:30,153 - Cheers. - Thanks. - Yay. Boom. 12 00:00:31,556 --> 00:00:34,257 Ooh! That is PhD-licious. 13 00:00:35,794 --> 00:00:37,894 So, have you guys gotten any feedback yet? 14 00:00:37,963 --> 00:00:39,496 Well, there are some comments online, 15 00:00:39,564 --> 00:00:41,798 but we haven't read them. We decided we don't care 16 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,654 what people say about our work. 17 00:00:43,678 --> 00:00:44,268 Good for you. 18 00:00:44,269 --> 00:00:46,102 People online can be so mean. 19 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,071 I posted a picture of myself on Instagram, 20 00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:51,141 and some jerk said I looked so skinny I might disappear. 21 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,344 And yet, somehow she soldiers on. 22 00:00:54,412 --> 00:00:55,945 Mm. 23 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,715 Although, Amy and I did give the world a gift. 24 00:00:58,783 --> 00:01:01,751 It would be nice to read some of the thank-you notes. 25 00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:04,721 I'm surprised you're interested in some stranger's opinion. 26 00:01:04,789 --> 00:01:07,290 Well, as I always say, a stranger's just a friend 27 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,925 who hasn't complimented me yet. 28 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,261 Okay. 29 00:01:11,329 --> 00:01:12,829 - I'll read them. - If any of them 30 00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:16,499 accuse you of being too pretty, Penny can help you through it. 31 00:01:17,936 --> 00:01:22,505 Okay, here's one from Dr. Saltzberg at UCLA. 32 00:01:22,574 --> 00:01:24,719 Wait, no, stop. I don't want to know. What if he's mean? 33 00:01:24,743 --> 00:01:26,576 Well, what if he's complimentary? 34 00:01:26,645 --> 00:01:28,545 I want to know. 35 00:01:28,613 --> 00:01:30,180 Okay. He says... 36 00:01:30,248 --> 00:01:32,048 - I don't want to know. - All right, just... 37 00:01:32,117 --> 00:01:33,716 let me see it. 38 00:01:35,086 --> 00:01:37,253 Okay, this is... this is really positive. 39 00:01:37,322 --> 00:01:38,855 Wow, it's, 40 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:39,989 like, really positive. 41 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,660 He says it might be the discovery of the decade. 42 00:01:44,763 --> 00:01:46,529 He's right. They love it! 43 00:01:46,598 --> 00:01:47,864 This is so exciting. 44 00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,933 Oh, this may be the Dr. Cooper talking, 45 00:01:50,001 --> 00:01:51,363 but pour me another Dr. Cooper. 46 00:01:51,364 --> 00:01:53,964 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x11 ♪ The Paintball Scattering Original Air Date on January 3, 2019 47 00:01:53,972 --> 00:01:57,507 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 48 00:01:57,576 --> 00:02:00,810 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 49 00:02:00,879 --> 00:02:02,445 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 50 00:02:02,514 --> 00:02:05,148 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 51 00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:07,650 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 52 00:02:07,719 --> 00:02:10,386 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 53 00:02:10,455 --> 00:02:12,288 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 54 00:02:12,357 --> 00:02:13,923 ♪ Bang! ♪ 55 00:02:13,947 --> 00:02:15,947 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 56 00:02:18,314 --> 00:02:20,247 Hey, Penny and I were thinking of getting 57 00:02:20,316 --> 00:02:21,649 a big paintball game together. 58 00:02:21,717 --> 00:02:23,517 Oh, Leonard, why does she want 59 00:02:23,586 --> 00:02:25,719 to shoot you? 60 00:02:25,788 --> 00:02:27,121 She doesn't want to shoot me. 61 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,634 - Who doesn't want to shoot you? - Penny. 62 00:02:28,658 --> 00:02:30,190 No, that doesn't sound right. 63 00:02:31,894 --> 00:02:33,427 She just wants to play paintball. 64 00:02:33,496 --> 00:02:35,129 It combines my love of whimsy 65 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,831 with her love of making grown men cry. 66 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,167 Sounds fun. Bernadette and I are in. 67 00:02:40,236 --> 00:02:43,103 - You don't need to ask her? - No. I've been pretty annoying lately. 68 00:02:43,172 --> 00:02:45,239 She's gonna want to shoot me. 69 00:02:45,308 --> 00:02:46,573 Dr. Cooper. 70 00:02:46,642 --> 00:02:47,908 Ah, President Siebert. 71 00:02:47,977 --> 00:02:50,010 What are you doing in the regular cafeteria? 72 00:02:50,079 --> 00:02:51,312 You're a superstar. 73 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,113 No offense, worker bees. 74 00:02:53,182 --> 00:02:55,227 You should join me in my private dining room. 75 00:02:55,251 --> 00:02:57,318 Dr. Fowler is already there. 76 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,819 Can I bring my friends? 77 00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:01,322 No. 78 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,157 - Can I bring my tater tots? - Yes. 79 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,459 All right, let's go. 80 00:03:06,862 --> 00:03:09,029 Welcome to the inner sanctum. 81 00:03:09,098 --> 00:03:11,699 Oh, I do love a good sanctum. 82 00:03:13,135 --> 00:03:15,436 Sheldon, look at my fruit plate. It's got kiwi on it. 83 00:03:15,504 --> 00:03:16,904 Ugh. I don't like kiwi. 84 00:03:16,972 --> 00:03:20,274 Neither do I, but it's so fancy. 85 00:03:20,343 --> 00:03:21,542 Well, this is nice. 86 00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:23,811 Why have we waited so long to do this? 87 00:03:23,879 --> 00:03:26,513 Because you never invited us. 88 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,982 Ha-ha-ha! 89 00:03:29,051 --> 00:03:31,985 Well, the important thing is you're here now, 90 00:03:32,054 --> 00:03:33,787 and we're so excited about your work. 91 00:03:33,856 --> 00:03:36,290 This paper's going to do big things for all of us, 92 00:03:36,359 --> 00:03:37,869 so if there's anything that you need... 93 00:03:37,893 --> 00:03:40,413 You know, actually, I could use some barbecue sauce for my tots. 94 00:03:40,463 --> 00:03:42,062 Oh, wait. No. Ketchup. 95 00:03:42,131 --> 00:03:45,165 Can we have some barbecue sauce and ketchup over here? 96 00:03:45,234 --> 00:03:47,167 Both? 97 00:03:48,337 --> 00:03:50,237 So this is how the other half lives. 98 00:03:51,574 --> 00:03:54,375 I just want you to know that you have our full support, 99 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,377 and we're organizing a big media push. 100 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:57,945 Articles. Interviews. 101 00:03:58,013 --> 00:04:00,080 Oh, you want us to do interviews? 102 00:04:00,149 --> 00:04:02,850 Well, we're thinking a divide-and-conquer approach here, 103 00:04:02,918 --> 00:04:04,451 where you do the interviews, 104 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,654 and Sheldon stays here and holds down the fort. 105 00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:09,289 You know... 106 00:04:09,358 --> 00:04:10,518 in case there's an emergency. 107 00:04:10,559 --> 00:04:13,494 What kind of an emergency would there be in physics? 108 00:04:13,562 --> 00:04:15,729 I don't know, maybe there's an object in motion 109 00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:17,331 that won't stay in motion. 110 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,699 Or a reaction 111 00:04:18,768 --> 00:04:20,868 that's equal but not opposite. 112 00:04:20,936 --> 00:04:23,036 It sounds like 113 00:04:23,105 --> 00:04:25,939 you don't want Sheldon to do the interviews. 114 00:04:26,008 --> 00:04:28,186 It's not that we don't want Sheldon to do the interviews, 115 00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:30,370 it's just that we really want you to do the interviews. 116 00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:33,380 Without Sheldon. 117 00:04:33,449 --> 00:04:35,048 Now, wait, wait, 118 00:04:35,117 --> 00:04:36,683 are you trying to exclude me? 119 00:04:36,752 --> 00:04:38,352 Look, Sheldon, you're a brilliant man, 120 00:04:38,421 --> 00:04:39,920 but your people skills are... 121 00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,422 This is not barbecue sauce! 122 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,690 This is steak sauce! What are you trying to pull? 123 00:04:43,759 --> 00:04:45,159 Like that. 124 00:04:45,227 --> 00:04:46,493 This is ridiculous. 125 00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:48,962 It is my work, too, and I am perfectly capable 126 00:04:49,031 --> 00:04:51,131 of keeping it together for an interview. 127 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,201 Okay. Say somebody asks if you feel your work 128 00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:58,038 is derivative of the work of Professor Joseph Polchinski. 129 00:05:06,982 --> 00:05:10,350 Seriously, can we get this man some barbecue sauce!? 130 00:05:13,456 --> 00:05:15,422 Would you mind stocking these? 131 00:05:15,491 --> 00:05:17,124 Actually, I'm not on the clock today. 132 00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:19,026 I'm just hanging out with my boyfriend. 133 00:05:19,094 --> 00:05:20,794 Ah, cool. Huh. 134 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,563 That's me, right? 135 00:05:22,631 --> 00:05:24,131 Oh, I forgot to tell you-- 136 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,366 I broke up with you, and now I'm 137 00:05:26,435 --> 00:05:29,269 dating... that guy. 138 00:05:29,338 --> 00:05:30,704 I know you're joking, 139 00:05:30,773 --> 00:05:33,740 but my flight-or-flight response doesn't. 140 00:05:33,809 --> 00:05:35,943 Isn't it fight-or-flight? 141 00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:38,479 Not for me. 142 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:41,014 So I told my mom she just needed to back off. 143 00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:42,349 This is our wedding, 144 00:05:42,418 --> 00:05:44,062 and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements, 145 00:05:44,086 --> 00:05:47,120 it's going to be my man. 146 00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:48,589 Thank you. 147 00:05:48,657 --> 00:05:51,225 I mean, I-I'm not trying to be a groomzilla, 148 00:05:51,293 --> 00:05:54,027 but... this is my specialty. 149 00:05:57,266 --> 00:05:58,599 Someone texting you? 150 00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:00,133 Uh, no. It's just my, 151 00:06:00,202 --> 00:06:02,135 uh, doorbell camera. 152 00:06:02,204 --> 00:06:04,938 Oh. I got one of those for my place, but I never installed it. 153 00:06:05,007 --> 00:06:06,673 Oh, it's easy. I can do it for you. 154 00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,475 You're gonna love it. It's how I found out 155 00:06:08,544 --> 00:06:11,945 a raccoon was stealing my cheese-of-the-month club. 156 00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:13,247 What did you do? 157 00:06:13,315 --> 00:06:15,048 Nothing. I didn't want to piss it off. 158 00:06:15,117 --> 00:06:17,017 It was, like, huge from eating all the cheese. 159 00:06:18,988 --> 00:06:21,088 Hey. We're doing a big paintball game on Saturday 160 00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:22,589 if you two want to join. 161 00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:24,836 Oh, my roommate asked me to help her move out on Saturday. 162 00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:26,159 Ugh. That sucks. 163 00:06:26,228 --> 00:06:28,028 Sucks for her. I'm playing paintball. 164 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,798 I-I didn't know your roommate was moving out. 165 00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,967 Yeah. I've been looking for a new one, 166 00:06:34,036 --> 00:06:36,336 but... so far no luck. 167 00:06:36,405 --> 00:06:37,704 You hear that? 168 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:40,340 She needs a roommate. 169 00:06:47,883 --> 00:06:49,816 What do you think, Stuart? 170 00:06:49,885 --> 00:06:52,019 Uh, i-i-it, uh... 171 00:06:52,087 --> 00:06:53,987 Flight. 172 00:06:54,056 --> 00:06:55,322 Flight. 173 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,796 - That was hard to watch. - Yeah. 174 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:10,504 Okay, I need you to be honest with me. 175 00:07:10,573 --> 00:07:12,506 How do I look? 176 00:07:15,344 --> 00:07:18,612 A little shorter, but as we age that happens to all of us. 177 00:07:18,681 --> 00:07:20,480 Come on, help me out here. 178 00:07:20,549 --> 00:07:22,849 I've got a bunch of interviews today. 179 00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:26,286 Well, no one'll notice. They never met you before. 180 00:07:26,355 --> 00:07:28,088 Sheldon, I'm nervous, 181 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,990 and I wish you were coming with me. 182 00:07:30,059 --> 00:07:32,960 If it helps, I wrote up some possible questions 183 00:07:33,028 --> 00:07:34,461 and answers for you. 184 00:07:35,564 --> 00:07:37,497 "Whom do you love more, 185 00:07:37,566 --> 00:07:41,034 "Sheldon the scientist or Sheldon the man? 186 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,371 "Answer: Sheldon the scientist, 187 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,108 but by such a slim margin that it's statistically insignificant." 188 00:07:49,478 --> 00:07:52,879 Well, you really managed to capture my voice. 189 00:07:52,948 --> 00:07:55,015 Well, don't worry. I'm sure you're gonna do great. 190 00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:56,483 Thank you. 191 00:07:56,552 --> 00:07:58,318 - Okay, bye. - Wait-wait-wait. 192 00:07:58,387 --> 00:08:00,854 - You forgot the cards. - Love you, too. 193 00:08:03,892 --> 00:08:06,193 Really? She asked you to move in with her? 194 00:08:06,261 --> 00:08:07,461 Yeah, she was 195 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:08,662 hinting around about it, 196 00:08:08,731 --> 00:08:11,064 but I think I handled it pretty well. 197 00:08:12,134 --> 00:08:13,400 "Pretty well"? 198 00:08:13,469 --> 00:08:16,536 You ran out of there so fast, if it was a cartoon, 199 00:08:16,605 --> 00:08:19,473 there would have been a Stuart-shaped hole in the wall. 200 00:08:20,776 --> 00:08:21,776 Was she mad? 201 00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:23,443 Uh, no. I talked to her after. 202 00:08:23,512 --> 00:08:24,811 She said she's fine. 203 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,247 - Oh, no. - Yikes! - You'll find someone new. 204 00:08:29,752 --> 00:08:31,018 Everything okay? 205 00:08:31,086 --> 00:08:32,753 Yeah, it's just Anu's doorbell camera. 206 00:08:32,821 --> 00:08:34,287 I helped her install it. 207 00:08:34,356 --> 00:08:36,089 You can't look at it. That's spying. 208 00:08:36,158 --> 00:08:37,457 Who the hell is this guy? 209 00:08:37,526 --> 00:08:38,526 Ooh, let me see. 210 00:08:40,996 --> 00:08:42,396 He's got... bags. 211 00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:44,064 He's probably just delivering food. 212 00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:47,467 Why is she hugging him? 213 00:08:47,536 --> 00:08:49,503 Maybe she doesn't have tip money? 214 00:08:51,206 --> 00:08:53,740 W-Wait, why is she inviting him into the house? 215 00:08:53,809 --> 00:08:56,176 She's a good tipper? 216 00:08:58,647 --> 00:09:01,782 Do you ever feel guilty that we get to eat 217 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,851 in the fancy dining room while our friends have to eat in the regular one? 218 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,789 Yes. Wait, did you say "guilty" or "happy"? 219 00:09:08,857 --> 00:09:10,290 "Guilty." 220 00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:12,259 Oh, then no. 221 00:09:12,327 --> 00:09:16,229 In fact, take a picture of me with the garlic knots to send them. 222 00:09:16,298 --> 00:09:18,098 There's my MVP-- 223 00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:19,966 Most Valuable Physicist. 224 00:09:20,035 --> 00:09:21,401 Thank you. 225 00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:23,503 And my star of NPR Science Friday 226 00:09:23,572 --> 00:09:26,606 and a potpourri of popular podcasts. 227 00:09:26,675 --> 00:09:30,310 I don't know if I'd use the word "star." 228 00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:33,613 I would. I got an early look at the interview you did for Wired, 229 00:09:33,682 --> 00:09:35,816 and it is glowing. They loved you. 230 00:09:35,884 --> 00:09:37,551 That's great. Thanks for telling me. 231 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:38,685 Congratulations, Amy. 232 00:09:38,754 --> 00:09:40,687 - I'm so proud of you. - And that headline-- 233 00:09:40,756 --> 00:09:43,657 "The Neurobiologist Who Revolutionized Physics." 234 00:09:43,726 --> 00:09:46,927 I'm sorry. The who who did what to-- huh? 235 00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:55,264 Oh, hey, how did your interview go? 236 00:09:55,332 --> 00:09:57,132 Okay, I guess. 237 00:09:57,201 --> 00:09:58,600 You don't sound very happy. 238 00:09:58,669 --> 00:09:59,968 Oh, why wouldn't she be happy? 239 00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:02,504 She's the neurobiologist who revolutionized physics. 240 00:10:02,573 --> 00:10:05,507 Sorry. 241 00:10:05,576 --> 00:10:09,011 This should be fun. I've never played before. 242 00:10:09,079 --> 00:10:11,179 Oh, fair warning-- it can get pretty ugly out there. 243 00:10:11,248 --> 00:10:13,582 Okay, well, remember, I'm your fiancée. 244 00:10:13,651 --> 00:10:16,118 Oh, I remember. Do you? 245 00:10:17,221 --> 00:10:19,087 All right, we need two teams. 246 00:10:19,156 --> 00:10:20,522 Who wants to be the captain? 247 00:10:20,591 --> 00:10:21,790 Oh, me. 248 00:10:21,859 --> 00:10:23,592 Uh, sure. Why not? 249 00:10:23,661 --> 00:10:25,327 All right, why don't you pick first? 250 00:10:25,396 --> 00:10:27,996 Okay, um... Leonard. 251 00:10:28,065 --> 00:10:30,632 Yeah? 252 00:10:30,701 --> 00:10:32,100 No, I'm picking you. 253 00:10:32,169 --> 00:10:34,536 First? For a team? 254 00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:37,873 What is happening? 255 00:10:37,942 --> 00:10:40,809 All right, I take Bernadette. 256 00:10:40,878 --> 00:10:43,211 Really? You're picking her over me? 257 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,281 Yeah, 'cause she's vicious and can hide behind a mushroom. 258 00:10:47,418 --> 00:10:49,351 Um... Sheldon. 259 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:51,920 Raj. 260 00:10:51,989 --> 00:10:53,922 Amy. 261 00:10:53,991 --> 00:10:55,090 I'll take Anu. 262 00:11:00,097 --> 00:11:01,097 Howard. 263 00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:04,066 All rightie. 264 00:11:04,134 --> 00:11:07,636 Come on, pick me, pick me. 265 00:11:07,705 --> 00:11:09,972 I will take... Stuart! 266 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,440 Yes! 267 00:11:14,378 --> 00:11:15,677 Okay, guys, we need some people 268 00:11:15,746 --> 00:11:17,312 to stay here and guard the flag 269 00:11:17,381 --> 00:11:19,192 and some people to move out and try to capture theirs. 270 00:11:19,216 --> 00:11:20,860 Okay. Sheldon, do you want to stay here and...? 271 00:11:20,884 --> 00:11:22,429 What? Hold down the fort? 'Cause that's all I'm good for. 272 00:11:22,453 --> 00:11:23,563 Is that what you were going to say? 273 00:11:23,587 --> 00:11:25,187 You know that's not what he meant. 274 00:11:25,255 --> 00:11:26,455 Oh, why don't you go out there? 275 00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:27,667 Maybe you'll be the neurobiologist 276 00:11:27,691 --> 00:11:28,890 who revolutionizes paintball. 277 00:11:28,959 --> 00:11:31,360 Stop it. You're being ridiculous. 278 00:11:31,428 --> 00:11:33,929 Am I? Maybe it's just my poor people skills. 279 00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:37,399 Oh, it's definitely your poor people skills. 280 00:11:37,468 --> 00:11:39,434 All right, the choices are-- get shot at 281 00:11:39,503 --> 00:11:40,914 or stay here and listen to them fight. 282 00:11:40,938 --> 00:11:43,772 Shot at. 283 00:11:49,013 --> 00:11:51,780 This is pretty exciting, sneaking around like this. 284 00:11:51,849 --> 00:11:55,517 Oh, so you like sneaking around. Good to know. 285 00:11:55,586 --> 00:11:57,519 What's that supposed to mean? 286 00:11:57,554 --> 00:11:59,321 Nothing. Never mind. 287 00:11:59,390 --> 00:12:01,556 Let me see if the coast is clear. 288 00:12:04,877 --> 00:12:05,424 See anybody? 289 00:12:05,448 --> 00:12:08,158 Yes, I saw a strange man going into your house the other night! 290 00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:10,899 What? 291 00:12:10,968 --> 00:12:13,068 But out there, there's nobody. 292 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,280 Ow! 293 00:12:25,349 --> 00:12:27,149 I'm hit. 294 00:12:27,217 --> 00:12:29,217 Ow! 295 00:12:29,286 --> 00:12:31,319 I said I was hit! 296 00:12:31,388 --> 00:12:32,454 Sorry. 297 00:12:33,624 --> 00:12:36,124 Ow! 298 00:12:36,193 --> 00:12:37,993 Why do you keep shooting me? 299 00:12:38,062 --> 00:12:40,062 Why don't you want to move in with me? 300 00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,931 I-I didn't say I didn't want to. 301 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,333 No, you just ran away. 302 00:12:45,402 --> 00:12:47,035 Stuart? 303 00:12:48,472 --> 00:12:50,238 Stuart?! 304 00:12:50,307 --> 00:12:52,174 Did you run away again? 305 00:12:52,242 --> 00:12:54,209 STUART No! 306 00:12:55,245 --> 00:12:57,479 Bang, you're out. 307 00:12:57,548 --> 00:12:59,815 What?! I'm not out. 308 00:12:59,883 --> 00:13:01,016 You didn't even shoot me. 309 00:13:01,085 --> 00:13:02,529 I'm not gonna shoot you from right here. 310 00:13:02,553 --> 00:13:03,697 It's too close. It's gonna hurt. 311 00:13:03,721 --> 00:13:05,954 Oh, come on. It's not gonna hurt that bad. 312 00:13:06,023 --> 00:13:08,523 I'm telling you, from this distance it's gonna... Ow! 313 00:13:08,592 --> 00:13:10,926 See? That hurt! 314 00:13:10,994 --> 00:13:13,528 All right. Fine, you can shoot me. 315 00:13:13,597 --> 00:13:15,430 - No, I'm not gonna shoot you. - Ow! 316 00:13:17,234 --> 00:13:18,834 Ow! Ow! 317 00:13:18,902 --> 00:13:21,837 Aah, you were right. We're way too close. 318 00:13:21,905 --> 00:13:23,638 See, I told you it's gonna hurt... 319 00:13:23,707 --> 00:13:25,640 Ow! 320 00:13:25,709 --> 00:13:27,709 I can't believe you're taking this out on me. 321 00:13:27,778 --> 00:13:30,345 I was just trying to get publicity for our paper. 322 00:13:30,414 --> 00:13:32,314 By making it seem like it was your idea? 323 00:13:32,382 --> 00:13:34,683 I didn't write the headline, Sheldon. 324 00:13:34,752 --> 00:13:36,251 Did you even read the article? 325 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,453 Because I talk about you continuously. 326 00:13:38,522 --> 00:13:41,656 I know, and it just made you sound modest and charming. 327 00:13:44,061 --> 00:13:47,329 Why can't you just be proud of me? 328 00:13:47,397 --> 00:13:49,564 I am proud of you. 329 00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:52,200 Really? Because you sound jealous. 330 00:13:52,269 --> 00:13:54,302 Well, I'm that, too. I've seen Inside Out. 331 00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:56,638 I know I can feel two things at once. 332 00:13:58,442 --> 00:14:01,176 - Ow! - Ow! 333 00:14:01,245 --> 00:14:04,179 Well, now I feel three things. 334 00:14:07,217 --> 00:14:09,151 Hey. 335 00:14:09,219 --> 00:14:10,152 Who shot you? 336 00:14:10,220 --> 00:14:12,420 Oh. Uh, oh... 337 00:14:12,489 --> 00:14:15,423 Denise, uh, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise, 338 00:14:15,492 --> 00:14:16,825 Denise, Denise, Denise, 339 00:14:16,894 --> 00:14:19,127 Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise 340 00:14:19,196 --> 00:14:22,164 and me when I was running from Denise. 341 00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:25,000 What is up with you two? 342 00:14:25,068 --> 00:14:27,235 Well, it's kind of hard to explain. Uh, 343 00:14:27,304 --> 00:14:30,405 you know when things are going great, but you worry 344 00:14:30,474 --> 00:14:32,507 that any minute you might screw everything up? 345 00:14:32,576 --> 00:14:35,343 - No. - Yes. 346 00:14:35,412 --> 00:14:38,547 If you really like her, you can't let fear get in the way. 347 00:14:38,615 --> 00:14:40,215 You have to move forward. 348 00:14:40,284 --> 00:14:44,286 And at a certain point, the fear of losing her goes away? 349 00:14:44,354 --> 00:14:45,987 I will let you know. 350 00:14:48,458 --> 00:14:50,592 - You were spying on me? - That is not the point. 351 00:14:50,661 --> 00:14:52,694 The point is who was that man? 352 00:14:52,763 --> 00:14:54,796 Fine. That was my ex-boyfriend. 353 00:14:54,865 --> 00:14:56,898 Some of his stuff was still at my house, 354 00:14:56,967 --> 00:14:58,767 and he stopped by to pick it up. 355 00:14:58,836 --> 00:15:02,537 And did you give it to him? Did you give him his stuff? 356 00:15:02,606 --> 00:15:07,409 If "stuff" means sex, then no. 357 00:15:07,477 --> 00:15:10,912 If "stuff" means his Waterpik, then yes! 358 00:15:10,981 --> 00:15:12,080 I got the flag! 359 00:15:12,149 --> 00:15:14,649 I'm gonna make a run for it. Cover me! 360 00:15:16,386 --> 00:15:19,721 So you're still talking to your ex-boyfriend? 361 00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:21,923 Yes, and I'm not gonna apologize for that. 362 00:15:21,992 --> 00:15:23,925 And you need to delete that app from your phone. 363 00:15:23,994 --> 00:15:25,560 Because you're hiding something from me? 364 00:15:25,629 --> 00:15:27,095 No, because you should trust me! 365 00:15:27,164 --> 00:15:30,198 How can I trust you?! I barely even know you! 366 00:15:32,736 --> 00:15:34,603 Then what are we doing? 367 00:15:34,671 --> 00:15:36,504 Why are we planning a wedding? 368 00:15:36,573 --> 00:15:38,740 I don't know. 369 00:15:41,044 --> 00:15:42,477 Aah, 370 00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:44,312 sad man! 371 00:15:48,352 --> 00:15:49,517 Ow! 372 00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:52,487 Ha, ha! Oh. It's you. 373 00:15:52,556 --> 00:15:54,122 I can't believe you shot me! 374 00:15:54,191 --> 00:15:55,335 I can't believe I did, either. 375 00:15:55,359 --> 00:15:57,192 Right in the chest. 376 00:15:57,261 --> 00:15:59,494 Sorry. That's gonna leave a bruise. 377 00:15:59,563 --> 00:16:01,796 Yeah, a big one. 378 00:16:01,865 --> 00:16:04,165 - Does it hurt? - A little. 379 00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:07,535 Want to kiss it and make it better? 380 00:16:07,604 --> 00:16:09,471 I do. 381 00:16:13,076 --> 00:16:14,409 Where are you going? 382 00:16:14,478 --> 00:16:15,944 Home. 383 00:16:16,013 --> 00:16:19,347 Don't worry. I'll wave to the doorbell when I get there. 384 00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:20,916 Wait, wait, wait. 385 00:16:20,984 --> 00:16:22,384 At least let me drive you. 386 00:16:22,452 --> 00:16:23,985 That's okay. I'll Uber. 387 00:16:24,054 --> 00:16:25,620 We can take you. 388 00:16:25,689 --> 00:16:27,722 - Come on, Sheldon. - Okay. 389 00:16:27,791 --> 00:16:30,158 But I should warn you, we're in a bit of a spat. 390 00:16:30,227 --> 00:16:32,105 At least I think we are. Amy, are we still in a spat? 391 00:16:32,129 --> 00:16:33,361 Are you ready to apologize? 392 00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:35,196 We are. 393 00:16:39,770 --> 00:16:41,002 - Aha! - Hey! 394 00:16:41,071 --> 00:16:43,204 - Get out! - Sorry. Sorry. 395 00:16:43,273 --> 00:16:44,639 I didn't see anything. 396 00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:45,941 Actually, could I...? 397 00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:47,175 Ooh, thank you! 398 00:16:53,265 --> 00:16:56,601 Hey. 399 00:16:56,602 --> 00:16:58,678 Wow. That's a lot of bruises. 400 00:16:58,679 --> 00:17:03,048 Yeah, well, you shot me a lot of times. 401 00:17:04,818 --> 00:17:08,587 That's not even counting the bruises on the inside. 402 00:17:08,655 --> 00:17:09,955 'Cause I hurt your feelings? 403 00:17:10,023 --> 00:17:13,725 Let's hope that's all it is. 404 00:17:13,794 --> 00:17:17,229 Ah, look, I'm sorry that I freaked out. 405 00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:20,532 It's just that things are going so good with us, 406 00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:24,369 and I'm afraid that if we go too fast, I am gonna mess it up. 407 00:17:24,438 --> 00:17:27,772 I get that. I don't want to mess things up, either. 408 00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:32,544 Um, I got you something. 409 00:17:32,613 --> 00:17:37,449 It's a key to my place to show you that I'm serious. 410 00:17:37,518 --> 00:17:38,950 - Thank you. - Mm. 411 00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:40,819 Well, isn't this technically 412 00:17:40,888 --> 00:17:44,289 a key to Howard and Bernadette's place? 413 00:17:44,358 --> 00:17:47,792 Yes, so don't ever use it or let them know that you have it. 414 00:17:47,861 --> 00:17:49,961 - Come here. - Oh. Uh, no. 415 00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:54,599 I appreciate it, but seriously, this is all bruise. 416 00:17:54,668 --> 00:17:56,401 Kiss? 417 00:17:56,470 --> 00:17:58,403 Gently. 418 00:18:00,674 --> 00:18:02,908 Ow. 419 00:18:04,311 --> 00:18:06,611 I'm about to start recording. Are you guys ready? 420 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,647 Sheldon, are you ready? 421 00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:10,582 - Absolutely. - Great. 422 00:18:10,651 --> 00:18:13,952 So, Dr. Cooper, my first question is for you. 423 00:18:14,021 --> 00:18:16,354 Oh, goody. 424 00:18:16,423 --> 00:18:18,757 Would you say that your paper is an extension 425 00:18:18,825 --> 00:18:21,293 of the work of Professor Joseph Polchinski? 426 00:18:39,237 --> 00:18:40,870 I'll be in the car. 427 00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:51,499 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 30832

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