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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,378 --> 00:00:01,584 Autumn in New York... 2 00:00:01,715 --> 00:00:03,651 the leaves go from green to orange... 3 00:00:03,793 --> 00:00:05,879 the lattes go from vanilla to pumpkin... 4 00:00:06,087 --> 00:00:08,121 and girls toss their razors out the window, 5 00:00:08,256 --> 00:00:10,846 for there'll be no bare leg seen until April. 6 00:00:11,165 --> 00:00:13,469 And pirates and witches put aside their differences 7 00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:14,936 to beg for candy. 8 00:00:14,954 --> 00:00:16,288 Josh, isn't this one of the reasons 9 00:00:16,322 --> 00:00:18,106 why you decided to move to Manhattan? 10 00:00:18,124 --> 00:00:20,108 I always wanted to live in Tampa, 11 00:00:20,126 --> 00:00:22,210 get one of those big, beige houses on the golf course, 12 00:00:22,245 --> 00:00:23,628 Jose Canseco on one side, 13 00:00:23,663 --> 00:00:25,830 - canal full of gators on the other. - Okay. 14 00:00:25,882 --> 00:00:27,632 Throw a hot dog at a gator and see if he eats it. 15 00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:28,884 Man, I am really learning a lot 16 00:00:28,918 --> 00:00:29,885 about you on this date. 17 00:00:29,919 --> 00:00:30,886 So this is a date? 18 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,170 I was wondering. 19 00:00:32,221 --> 00:00:34,422 Because meeting up for coffee 20 00:00:34,456 --> 00:00:36,007 at 8:00 AM on a weekday is-- 21 00:00:36,058 --> 00:00:38,126 you're really afraid I'm going to attack you, aren't you? 22 00:00:38,144 --> 00:00:39,511 No, no, this is a morning date. 23 00:00:39,562 --> 00:00:41,296 It's great. I get to know you better, 24 00:00:41,314 --> 00:00:42,931 I bought a French press, 25 00:00:42,965 --> 00:00:44,399 and these world music CDs. 26 00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:45,934 Well, I read about this thing 27 00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,269 called a night date. 28 00:00:47,303 --> 00:00:48,320 You into that? 29 00:00:48,354 --> 00:00:50,471 Weird. Tell me more. 30 00:00:50,489 --> 00:00:52,473 Well, ESPN is having their Halloween party tonight. 31 00:00:52,491 --> 00:00:54,359 - Cool. - And these guys go all out 32 00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:55,577 in the costumes, so you're gonna have 33 00:00:55,611 --> 00:00:56,978 to dress to impress. 34 00:00:56,996 --> 00:00:59,915 I'm sorry, who am I supposed to be trying to impress? 35 00:00:59,949 --> 00:01:01,783 I'm just saying, it's a hot ticket. 36 00:01:01,817 --> 00:01:02,834 I mean, last year I took a model. 37 00:01:02,868 --> 00:01:04,202 Well, lucky for you, I was featured 38 00:01:04,253 --> 00:01:05,287 in my college admissions brochure 39 00:01:05,321 --> 00:01:06,421 holding a test tube. 40 00:01:06,455 --> 00:01:07,422 So I guess you have a thing for models. 41 00:01:07,456 --> 00:01:08,873 Look, as long as you look great tonight, 42 00:01:08,925 --> 00:01:10,041 no worries. 43 00:01:10,092 --> 00:01:11,710 You know, I think I'm just gonna have 44 00:01:11,761 --> 00:01:13,378 to get back to you about this. 45 00:01:13,429 --> 00:01:15,496 - Seriously? - Yeah. 46 00:01:15,514 --> 00:01:17,382 Oh. Then I should line up some backup. 47 00:01:17,433 --> 00:01:19,167 Just in case. 48 00:01:19,185 --> 00:01:22,003 Boop, boop, boop. Contacts. 49 00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:23,171 Brrr. 50 00:01:23,189 --> 00:01:25,056 Wow. All these girls. 51 00:01:25,107 --> 00:01:26,341 Brrr. 52 00:01:26,359 --> 00:01:28,109 Just the Caitlins. Still on the Caitlins. 53 00:01:28,144 --> 00:01:29,344 - Brrr. - Relax. 54 00:01:29,362 --> 00:01:30,445 Okay, you don't know that many Caitlins. 55 00:01:30,479 --> 00:01:31,446 You'd be surprised. 56 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,182 It was a very popular name in 1987. 57 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,551 Brrr. 58 00:01:36,585 --> 00:01:39,554 [Upbeat dance music] 59 00:01:39,588 --> 00:01:45,526 [Vocalizing] 60 00:01:49,246 --> 00:01:51,583 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 61 00:01:53,786 --> 00:01:58,790 [Indistinct chatter] 62 00:01:58,824 --> 00:02:01,042 Hey, guys, so I'm gonna go run this errand. 63 00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:03,962 [Shriek] 64 00:02:03,996 --> 00:02:06,114 [Cackles] I got you, man. 65 00:02:06,132 --> 00:02:07,632 Got the whole thing on video. 66 00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:10,468 Mm, I had it flipped on me. 67 00:02:10,503 --> 00:02:13,255 Why don't you go back in your office and come out? 68 00:02:13,289 --> 00:02:15,891 You know, nothing scary will happen. 69 00:02:15,925 --> 00:02:17,259 I got to run. I can't. 70 00:02:17,293 --> 00:02:18,677 I got to run this errand for the rest of the day, so... 71 00:02:18,728 --> 00:02:19,895 Hello, all. I have to pop out 72 00:02:19,929 --> 00:02:21,263 for the rest of the day to run an errand. 73 00:02:21,297 --> 00:02:22,814 I will see you tomorrow. 74 00:02:22,848 --> 00:02:25,150 That's a coincidence 75 00:02:25,184 --> 00:02:27,903 'cause I also have to-- I have to run an errand 76 00:02:27,937 --> 00:02:29,137 for the rest of the day. 77 00:02:29,155 --> 00:02:30,405 See, my condo's being reassessed, 78 00:02:30,439 --> 00:02:32,908 so I got to go to the assessor's office. 79 00:02:32,942 --> 00:02:35,076 Since we're closing early for Halloween anyway... 80 00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:36,077 You're sweating. 81 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,279 Oh, am I? 82 00:02:37,313 --> 00:02:39,647 If I am, just using the ab roller in there. 83 00:02:39,665 --> 00:02:43,168 Gonna have abs of steel. But gonna-- go feel it. 84 00:02:43,202 --> 00:02:45,153 - You want to go feel it? - I do not want to do that. 85 00:02:45,171 --> 00:02:46,154 It's still warm. 86 00:02:46,172 --> 00:02:47,539 The handles are probably really wet, 87 00:02:47,590 --> 00:02:51,009 but anyway, so that notary republic is-- 88 00:02:51,043 --> 00:02:53,128 Danny, it's not notary republic 89 00:02:53,162 --> 00:02:54,262 'cause then it would be a country. 90 00:02:54,297 --> 00:02:56,331 And nobody cares 91 00:02:56,349 --> 00:02:57,983 about your boring lies and your sweaty forehead 92 00:02:58,017 --> 00:03:00,385 and the notary public that you're clearly not going to. 93 00:03:00,436 --> 00:03:03,555 Who would lie about going to a notary public? 94 00:03:03,606 --> 00:03:04,806 Please leave before I have to hear 95 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,341 - the words "notary public" again. - Okay. 96 00:03:06,359 --> 00:03:08,860 So I'm gonna-- 97 00:03:08,894 --> 00:03:11,512 - Exit faster. - Okay. If anyone calls-- 98 00:03:11,530 --> 00:03:12,781 - Oh, my God, go. - Why won't this end? 99 00:03:12,815 --> 00:03:13,848 Okay. 100 00:03:13,866 --> 00:03:16,851 I thought you were right behind me. 101 00:03:16,869 --> 00:03:18,370 Maybe lying doesn't come 102 00:03:18,404 --> 00:03:20,021 as easy to me as it does to you. 103 00:03:20,039 --> 00:03:21,539 Hey, I'm happy to tell them where we're going. 104 00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:24,159 - No. - Oh, my God. Your hand is sopping wet. 105 00:03:24,193 --> 00:03:27,329 It's from the ab roller. 106 00:03:28,864 --> 00:03:32,700 [Indistinct PA announcement] 107 00:03:33,886 --> 00:03:35,220 Oh, my God, Tom. 108 00:03:35,254 --> 00:03:37,639 [Romantic music] 109 00:03:37,673 --> 00:03:45,263 110 00:03:45,314 --> 00:03:46,731 - Oh! - Oh! 111 00:03:46,766 --> 00:03:47,732 (Mindy) Oh, my God. 112 00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:48,984 - Come on. - Tom. 113 00:03:49,018 --> 00:03:50,385 Oh, Tom. I'm so sorry. 114 00:03:50,403 --> 00:03:51,886 I'm so-- oh, my God. 115 00:03:51,904 --> 00:03:53,104 Tom, Tom, let me help, please. 116 00:03:53,155 --> 00:03:54,239 - Come on. - It's okay. I know him. 117 00:03:54,273 --> 00:03:55,407 We used to date. It's-- we're fine. 118 00:03:55,441 --> 00:03:56,941 Don't leave me alone with this lady. 119 00:03:56,993 --> 00:03:58,159 Well, don't be theatrical. 120 00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,995 - Am I bleeding? - Um... 121 00:04:00,029 --> 00:04:01,946 - I'm bleeding. - I'm so sorry. Please, Tom. 122 00:04:01,998 --> 00:04:03,064 Here. Let me help you up. 123 00:04:03,082 --> 00:04:04,499 I taste pennies. 124 00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:05,900 This looks good. 125 00:04:05,918 --> 00:04:07,619 You're gonna look better than when you came in. 126 00:04:07,670 --> 00:04:08,903 Hey, you wanted, like, 127 00:04:08,921 --> 00:04:10,005 Frankenstein stitches 128 00:04:10,039 --> 00:04:11,339 'cause of Halloween, right? 129 00:04:11,374 --> 00:04:13,258 Really, it's not bad at all. 130 00:04:13,292 --> 00:04:14,426 If I'd really want to hurt you, 131 00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:16,344 I would have sent all your contacts 132 00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:18,513 that video of you spitting out 133 00:04:18,547 --> 00:04:22,684 that bite of hot pizza. 134 00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:23,718 Hey, you know what? 135 00:04:23,752 --> 00:04:25,220 I still owe you a wedding gift. 136 00:04:25,254 --> 00:04:26,771 Is there anything on the registry that you still need? 137 00:04:26,806 --> 00:04:28,473 Go back in time and don't ruin my wedding? 138 00:04:28,524 --> 00:04:30,525 Tom, I'm sorry, okay? 139 00:04:30,559 --> 00:04:32,143 I'm really sorry. 140 00:04:32,194 --> 00:04:33,761 Back then, I was, like, a little messed up, 141 00:04:33,779 --> 00:04:35,330 and I think I was kind of drunk at the wedding too 142 00:04:35,364 --> 00:04:36,981 - a little bit. - You were really drunk at the wedding. 143 00:04:37,033 --> 00:04:38,616 I was hurt then, but I'm not now. 144 00:04:38,651 --> 00:04:40,035 I'm dating a blond guy. 145 00:04:40,069 --> 00:04:41,786 And I just-- I wish the best 146 00:04:41,821 --> 00:04:43,271 for both you and-- you know, 147 00:04:43,289 --> 00:04:44,622 I don't even know her name. 148 00:04:44,657 --> 00:04:46,774 Right. 149 00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:50,278 I know I hurt you too, and I'm sorry. 150 00:04:50,296 --> 00:04:53,965 I was recording this conversation 151 00:04:53,999 --> 00:04:55,300 in case you threatened me, 152 00:04:55,334 --> 00:04:56,501 but now I'm gonna stop. 153 00:04:56,552 --> 00:04:58,002 Aww. 154 00:04:58,054 --> 00:05:00,004 So tell me about blondie. 155 00:05:00,056 --> 00:05:01,089 Who's this guy? 156 00:05:01,123 --> 00:05:02,724 His name is Josh, 157 00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:06,311 and he is an attorney for NBA players. 158 00:05:06,345 --> 00:05:08,012 He is definitely confident. 159 00:05:08,064 --> 00:05:10,465 Very confident. Almost too confident. 160 00:05:10,483 --> 00:05:12,967 Like, he can be sometimes a little obnoxious, 161 00:05:12,985 --> 00:05:14,269 I think, but he's very funny. 162 00:05:14,303 --> 00:05:16,237 Not funny in a way that you, like, want 163 00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:17,939 to laugh all the time, but you're kind of like, ehh, 164 00:05:17,973 --> 00:05:19,824 - "it offends me." - So he's a jerk? 165 00:05:19,859 --> 00:05:21,276 No, he's not a jerk. I like him. 166 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:22,610 He's just-- I wouldn't necessarily, like, curl up 167 00:05:22,644 --> 00:05:23,811 with him and watch Breaking Bad. 168 00:05:23,829 --> 00:05:24,913 Don't say anything about Breaking Bad. 169 00:05:24,947 --> 00:05:26,147 I haven't seen season five yet. 170 00:05:26,165 --> 00:05:27,499 You are so weird about spoilers. 171 00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:29,000 No, you're doing it right now. 172 00:05:29,034 --> 00:05:30,618 If you're obsessed with TV, 173 00:05:30,652 --> 00:05:31,836 why don't you keep up with it in a timely way? 174 00:05:31,871 --> 00:05:33,321 Stop, stop, stop, that's what you do. 175 00:05:33,339 --> 00:05:34,372 I just said Breaking Bad. Tom, you always freak out 176 00:05:34,423 --> 00:05:35,673 - about spoilers. - You say one word, 177 00:05:35,708 --> 00:05:36,991 - it ruins the whole thing. - I stopped talking about it. 178 00:05:37,009 --> 00:05:38,259 - You done? You done? - Yeah. 179 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,511 We're not talking about it? Okay. 180 00:05:39,545 --> 00:05:40,628 I'm supposed to meet him tonight 181 00:05:40,662 --> 00:05:41,679 for a party, but I think 182 00:05:41,714 --> 00:05:43,998 I'm just gonna end it with him. 183 00:05:44,016 --> 00:05:45,133 Well, good for you. 184 00:05:45,167 --> 00:05:49,137 Yeah, don't settle. 185 00:05:49,171 --> 00:05:51,172 - Thanks, Tom. - You're welcome. 186 00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:53,525 Look at us, all mature and evolved. 187 00:05:53,559 --> 00:05:54,893 [Tap at window] 188 00:05:54,944 --> 00:05:56,861 Who's that? 189 00:05:56,896 --> 00:05:59,314 Orderly I asked to tackle you 190 00:05:59,348 --> 00:06:00,315 in case you tried to hurt me again. 191 00:06:00,349 --> 00:06:02,784 Fair enough. 192 00:06:06,122 --> 00:06:08,022 [Exhales] You okay? 193 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,042 Yeah. Of course I'm okay. 194 00:06:12,128 --> 00:06:14,245 Let's do this. 195 00:06:17,383 --> 00:06:19,384 Whoa. Old. 196 00:06:22,204 --> 00:06:24,088 The average New Yorker doesn't get his driver's license 197 00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:25,206 until he's 26. 198 00:06:25,224 --> 00:06:27,258 Whoa. Nerd. 199 00:06:27,309 --> 00:06:28,376 Shut up. 200 00:06:28,394 --> 00:06:30,378 I'm trying to study. 201 00:06:30,396 --> 00:06:32,480 I'll knock you out. 202 00:06:32,515 --> 00:06:34,432 I will knock you out, I don't care how old you are. 203 00:06:34,483 --> 00:06:36,351 - Okay, okay. Come on. - No, I'm serious. 204 00:06:36,385 --> 00:06:40,155 Now I know if I eat this mummy, I'm gonna regret it. 205 00:06:40,189 --> 00:06:41,189 Nightmares galore. 206 00:06:41,223 --> 00:06:42,740 It was so great running into Tom. 207 00:06:42,775 --> 00:06:44,826 I mean, I was dreading it, but only because I hadn't realized 208 00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:46,411 how far I had come. 209 00:06:46,445 --> 00:06:48,163 I'm happy. He is happy. 210 00:06:48,197 --> 00:06:51,065 It is so weird being my own role model. 211 00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:52,116 - You know, I recommend it. - Oh, wow. 212 00:06:52,168 --> 00:06:54,402 Okay, I got to see a picture of this Tom guy 213 00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,120 because I'm trying to imagine you guys making love, 214 00:06:56,172 --> 00:06:58,373 and I'm just seeing you, like, climbing up 215 00:06:58,407 --> 00:06:59,591 on a giant question mark. 216 00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:01,409 Betsy, why don't you pull up his profile? 217 00:07:01,427 --> 00:07:03,461 - Thank you. (Shauna) - Good idea. 218 00:07:03,512 --> 00:07:06,214 (Betsy) Ooh, Tom changed his profile pic for Halloween. 219 00:07:06,248 --> 00:07:07,632 It's a ghost. 220 00:07:07,683 --> 00:07:09,634 That's not a ghost. It's a... 221 00:07:10,919 --> 00:07:12,637 It's a sonogram. 222 00:07:12,688 --> 00:07:14,639 Oh, you didn't say Tom's having a baby. 223 00:07:14,690 --> 00:07:16,941 He didn't tell me. 224 00:07:18,194 --> 00:07:20,278 It's a rough day, Dr. L. 225 00:07:20,312 --> 00:07:22,280 First I break your chair, and I don't tell you, 226 00:07:22,314 --> 00:07:24,098 now this. 227 00:07:24,116 --> 00:07:25,400 I broke your chair, by the way. 228 00:07:25,434 --> 00:07:26,618 Why wouldn't he tell you? 229 00:07:26,652 --> 00:07:28,119 'Cause I was scared, Shauna. 230 00:07:28,153 --> 00:07:30,205 He didn't tell me because he feels sorry for me 231 00:07:30,239 --> 00:07:32,440 because I am a pathetic spinster with no prospects. 232 00:07:32,458 --> 00:07:34,943 That's not true! 233 00:07:37,112 --> 00:07:38,913 I think someone needs a hug. 234 00:07:38,947 --> 00:07:40,248 She was in a really good place, like, two minutes ago. 235 00:07:40,282 --> 00:07:41,883 I mean me. I mean me. 236 00:07:44,136 --> 00:07:45,970 [Cell phone rings] Yo. 237 00:07:46,005 --> 00:07:47,088 Hey, it's me. 238 00:07:47,122 --> 00:07:48,289 Well, well, well. 239 00:07:48,307 --> 00:07:49,641 I guess miss I'll-get-back-to-you 240 00:07:49,675 --> 00:07:50,892 got back to me. 241 00:07:50,926 --> 00:07:52,010 What are you doing? 242 00:07:52,061 --> 00:07:53,628 Puffing on my electronic quitter cig, 243 00:07:53,646 --> 00:07:55,246 drinking an energy drink. 244 00:07:55,281 --> 00:07:56,797 - That's weird. - Hey, tell me why I shouldn't hang up 245 00:07:56,815 --> 00:07:58,650 on you right now and talk to Carmelo Anthony? 246 00:07:58,684 --> 00:08:01,819 Because you can talk to him tonight at the party with me? 247 00:08:01,854 --> 00:08:04,772 Oh. Yeah. 248 00:08:04,806 --> 00:08:05,990 You gonna bring it? 249 00:08:06,025 --> 00:08:08,826 Yeah, my costume is going to blow your mind. 250 00:08:08,861 --> 00:08:11,312 - Ohh. Okay. - See you there. 251 00:08:13,815 --> 00:08:18,052 Guys, I need a costume that blows people's minds. 252 00:08:19,592 --> 00:08:20,575 Danny. Danny, look. 253 00:08:20,593 --> 00:08:21,593 That DMV clerk is dressed up 254 00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,211 as a vampire for Halloween. 255 00:08:23,245 --> 00:08:25,580 Yeah, I bet on Halloween, actual monsters 256 00:08:25,598 --> 00:08:27,799 dress up as DMV workers. 257 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:29,468 Eh, Danny? My joke, Danny. 258 00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:30,602 Would you shut up? I'm trying to study. 259 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:32,020 I thought the whole point of coming 260 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,772 to Long Island was the test was meant to be easy. 261 00:08:33,806 --> 00:08:35,774 It's still a test. You can't flirt 262 00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:37,025 and spray-tan your way through it. 263 00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,643 Why are you so much angrier than usual? 264 00:08:38,694 --> 00:08:40,362 It's just a driver's license. 265 00:08:40,396 --> 00:08:41,947 Yeah, no, it's not a license to drive. 266 00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:43,097 It's a license to be a man. 267 00:08:43,115 --> 00:08:45,600 A man goes where he wants when he wants. 268 00:08:45,618 --> 00:08:48,737 I have a picture in my head of me driving through the night, 269 00:08:48,771 --> 00:08:51,656 nothing but 1,000 miles of dark empty ahead, 270 00:08:51,707 --> 00:08:54,376 and, for the first time in my life, I'm free. 271 00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:56,277 Wow. 272 00:08:56,295 --> 00:08:58,613 So why do you want to get your license? 273 00:08:58,631 --> 00:09:01,967 Tired of carrying my passport around to bars. 274 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:05,136 It's so bulky. 275 00:09:05,171 --> 00:09:06,338 (Shauna) Hey, bad news. 276 00:09:06,389 --> 00:09:08,089 They were out of all the sexy costumes. 277 00:09:08,123 --> 00:09:09,257 They're the first to go. 278 00:09:09,291 --> 00:09:10,809 Good news, they still had 279 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:11,977 a ton of kids' costumes. 280 00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:13,261 How is that good news? 281 00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:15,964 Are you kidding? It'll barely cover your torso. 282 00:09:15,982 --> 00:09:17,566 Which is hot. 283 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,851 Okay, as a nurse, this costume offends me. 284 00:09:19,902 --> 00:09:22,521 It's not skimpy outfits that make nurses sexy. 285 00:09:22,572 --> 00:09:24,606 It's the helping people that make us sexy. 286 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,659 Dr. Lahiri, I bought the perfect costume for you. 287 00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:29,911 Mm-hmm. 288 00:09:29,946 --> 00:09:31,079 Is that a fat Albert costume? 289 00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:32,948 Linus. 290 00:09:32,982 --> 00:09:34,649 You know, from It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. 291 00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,484 So he's not even the star of the thing 292 00:09:36,502 --> 00:09:37,485 that you know him from? 293 00:09:37,503 --> 00:09:38,820 You've never seen it? 294 00:09:38,838 --> 00:09:40,989 It's the best. It's Halloween, 295 00:09:41,007 --> 00:09:42,290 and Linus is excited for the Great Pumpkin, 296 00:09:42,324 --> 00:09:43,675 who comes every year to bring toys 297 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:44,793 to all the good boys and girls. 298 00:09:44,827 --> 00:09:46,995 Why are you describing this cartoon to me? 299 00:09:47,013 --> 00:09:48,162 I'm sorry. I'm just in crisis right now. 300 00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:49,881 All right? What I really need you to do 301 00:09:49,932 --> 00:09:51,550 is to take these scissors and cut a cleavage hole 302 00:09:51,601 --> 00:09:53,435 in my crayon costume. 303 00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:55,837 26 out of 36. 304 00:09:55,855 --> 00:09:57,355 - You passed. - Yes! 305 00:09:57,390 --> 00:09:58,690 Thank you. 306 00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,008 Happy Halloween, sir. 307 00:10:00,026 --> 00:10:01,693 Happy Halloween. 308 00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:02,811 Look, Danny. Same score. 309 00:10:02,845 --> 00:10:04,178 How is that possible? 310 00:10:04,196 --> 00:10:05,530 Did you even read the book? 311 00:10:05,565 --> 00:10:08,450 Those practice questions are taken from real past exams. 312 00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,902 Logic, a dash of luck, and, as always, 313 00:10:10,953 --> 00:10:12,120 a little bit of charm. 314 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,205 You charmed a scantron sheet? 315 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,791 Oh, Danny, should we head to the road test? 316 00:10:16,826 --> 00:10:18,126 Okay. 317 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,127 (Guard) Attaboy, Danny. 318 00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:20,378 You finally passed the written. 319 00:10:20,413 --> 00:10:21,913 - I knew you could. - Who's that? 320 00:10:21,964 --> 00:10:23,131 I don't know. 321 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,249 Wait, how many times have you taken that test? 322 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,417 A few times. Don't worry about it. 323 00:10:25,468 --> 00:10:26,418 We're all pulling for you, Danny! 324 00:10:26,469 --> 00:10:28,219 Thanks, Trish. 325 00:10:28,254 --> 00:10:30,055 - Daniel Castellano. - That's me. 326 00:10:30,089 --> 00:10:31,973 But can he go first? 327 00:10:32,008 --> 00:10:33,258 Of course. Take your time. 328 00:10:33,309 --> 00:10:35,727 Dr. Jeremy Reed. And you are? 329 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,062 Barbara. 330 00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:39,714 Barbara. I knew a Barbara once. 331 00:10:39,732 --> 00:10:40,982 She broke my heart. 332 00:10:41,017 --> 00:10:42,601 It must be a cursed name, 333 00:10:42,652 --> 00:10:44,603 because I feel it may happen again. 334 00:10:44,654 --> 00:10:47,022 Come on. 335 00:10:47,056 --> 00:10:48,056 [Snorts] 336 00:10:48,074 --> 00:10:49,357 [Cell phone chimes] 337 00:10:49,391 --> 00:10:52,243 (Jeremy) You know, you know, come on. 338 00:10:54,113 --> 00:10:55,947 Stinks was not an option. 339 00:10:55,998 --> 00:10:57,415 Way to dodge the question, Danny. 340 00:10:57,450 --> 00:10:59,200 God, why does everyone want me to die alone? 341 00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:02,120 Okay, Dr. L, as a hot guy with a fancy job, 342 00:11:02,154 --> 00:11:03,788 I think I have some insight here. 343 00:11:03,839 --> 00:11:07,125 Number two sexiest female organ-- the butt. 344 00:11:07,176 --> 00:11:10,128 Number one sexiest female organ-- the brain. 345 00:11:10,179 --> 00:11:12,547 The badonkadonk and the bethinkathink. 346 00:11:12,581 --> 00:11:14,466 Don't look at me like you're teaching me something. 347 00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:17,251 Funny costume trumps sexy costume. 348 00:11:17,269 --> 00:11:20,305 Morgan, I think you're right actually. 349 00:11:20,356 --> 00:11:22,057 I'm like that cool, witty girl 350 00:11:22,091 --> 00:11:24,142 who kind of, like, kills it in bed, you know? 351 00:11:24,193 --> 00:11:26,561 - I need a funny costume. - Say no more. 352 00:11:26,595 --> 00:11:28,096 I will go to the store 353 00:11:28,114 --> 00:11:32,183 and return with a costume that is the pinnacle of wit. 354 00:11:32,218 --> 00:11:34,486 I am not going on my Halloween date as a urinal. 355 00:11:34,537 --> 00:11:36,071 Come on, it's funny, 356 00:11:36,105 --> 00:11:37,806 it's edgy, it's topical. 357 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,991 No? You sure? 358 00:11:40,042 --> 00:11:41,609 Oh, okay, well, 359 00:11:41,627 --> 00:11:42,827 I anticipated this, 360 00:11:42,878 --> 00:11:44,746 so I got some other options. 361 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,498 - Betsy. - A condom. 362 00:11:46,549 --> 00:11:49,000 A butt, a tampon, 363 00:11:49,051 --> 00:11:51,252 Ace Ventura, 364 00:11:51,286 --> 00:11:52,303 sperm? 365 00:11:52,338 --> 00:11:54,055 All terrible. You are terrible. 366 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,507 All right, a woman should not have 367 00:11:55,558 --> 00:11:58,259 to choose between being hot and funny for Halloween. 368 00:11:58,293 --> 00:11:59,644 So thank you for your help. 369 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:01,813 I'm okay, I'm just gonna create a costume 370 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:05,233 that is both hilarious and sexy. 371 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,803 Tinker Bell Tailor soldier spy. 372 00:12:08,821 --> 00:12:10,905 Dirty Harry Potter. 373 00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,779 Lil Wayne On The Prairie. 374 00:12:19,165 --> 00:12:21,249 You know what? I give up. 375 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,918 Okay? I give up. 376 00:12:23,953 --> 00:12:26,337 Betsy, please text Josh, 377 00:12:26,372 --> 00:12:27,655 "sorry. Patient in labor. 378 00:12:27,673 --> 00:12:31,092 Can't come to the party. Please take a Caitlin." 379 00:12:34,997 --> 00:12:37,799 A man goes where he wants when he wants. 380 00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:41,102 A man goes where he wants when he wants. 381 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,606 [Giggles] 382 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,941 (Jeremy) Right? Barbara, you are too much. 383 00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:48,943 You really are. 384 00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:50,278 Perfect score, Danny. 385 00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,946 You're up. Break a leg. 386 00:12:51,981 --> 00:12:53,615 - Never wink at me again. - Okay. 387 00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:54,649 How's it going today? 388 00:12:54,683 --> 00:12:57,152 Feeling good? 389 00:12:57,186 --> 00:13:00,521 All right, let's do this. 390 00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:08,413 Permission to wipe my brow? 391 00:13:08,464 --> 00:13:11,532 I'm not a sea captain. 392 00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,168 What are you writing? 393 00:13:13,202 --> 00:13:14,836 Eyes on the road. 394 00:13:14,870 --> 00:13:15,837 You okay? 395 00:13:15,871 --> 00:13:18,056 You know, you're sweating. 396 00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:19,390 A lot. 397 00:13:19,425 --> 00:13:23,311 It's just it's hard to keep your cool 398 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:26,931 when you're driving next to such a beautiful woman... 399 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,383 like yourself. 400 00:13:29,401 --> 00:13:32,070 You just blew through a stop sign. 401 00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:35,240 Damn it. Damn it. 402 00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:37,859 What are you writing now? 403 00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:39,744 What did you-- what did you write there? 404 00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:40,895 - Hey! - What? 405 00:13:40,913 --> 00:13:42,914 Hands off the-- oh, brake, brake, brake, brake! 406 00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,732 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 407 00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:46,084 Hold on. Hold on. 408 00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:49,537 Hold on. Hold on. [Shouts] 409 00:13:49,571 --> 00:13:51,756 [Cackles] [Groans] 410 00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:53,458 [Exhales] 411 00:13:53,509 --> 00:13:56,978 [Cackling continues] 412 00:14:05,391 --> 00:14:08,744 I'll get the accident report started. 413 00:14:09,996 --> 00:14:11,396 Ahh. 414 00:14:11,414 --> 00:14:13,749 Always yield to spiders. 415 00:14:13,783 --> 00:14:15,284 You know what, man? 416 00:14:15,335 --> 00:14:17,202 I'm so sick of your calm, wry comments. 417 00:14:17,236 --> 00:14:18,203 Why are you yelling at me? 418 00:14:18,237 --> 00:14:19,455 Because everything in your life 419 00:14:19,506 --> 00:14:20,956 comes easy to you, whereas, guys like me, 420 00:14:21,007 --> 00:14:22,257 we have to work our asses off. 421 00:14:22,292 --> 00:14:23,592 Are you jealous of me? 422 00:14:23,626 --> 00:14:25,961 What? No. I'm not jealous of you. 423 00:14:26,012 --> 00:14:28,430 Screw you. I'm saying there are things 424 00:14:28,465 --> 00:14:30,081 about you that I wish I could have. 425 00:14:30,099 --> 00:14:31,433 You're describing jealousy. 426 00:14:31,468 --> 00:14:35,053 How does an Englishman not understand English? 427 00:14:35,087 --> 00:14:38,157 That is amazing to me. 428 00:14:42,946 --> 00:14:44,196 Best slice in the city. 429 00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:45,948 All right, are you getting this? 430 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,321 Hold on. Oh. 431 00:14:52,372 --> 00:14:53,789 I just burnt the roof of my mouth. 432 00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:55,290 Honey, honey, just turn it off. 433 00:14:55,325 --> 00:14:58,410 Why are you still filming? Turn it off. 434 00:15:00,663 --> 00:15:03,799 Well, time to go home. 435 00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:06,051 (Male narrator) Until that fateful night 436 00:15:06,085 --> 00:15:08,170 when Katie Summers learned 437 00:15:08,221 --> 00:15:10,722 who she had really married. 438 00:15:10,757 --> 00:15:13,642 [Dramatic music] 439 00:15:13,676 --> 00:15:18,063 Tonight on In Sickness, health... and murder! 440 00:15:18,097 --> 00:15:19,598 Ew! What the hell? 441 00:15:19,632 --> 00:15:21,817 Who are you? Scram! Scram! 442 00:15:21,851 --> 00:15:23,769 God. Ugh. 443 00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:25,871 Get out of here, you gross cat. 444 00:15:25,889 --> 00:15:26,872 [Telephone rings] 445 00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:28,874 Ugh. Hello? 446 00:15:28,892 --> 00:15:30,809 Hey, sorry, I just got all your messages. 447 00:15:30,844 --> 00:15:32,711 I just-- I stopped listening after number five. 448 00:15:32,729 --> 00:15:34,613 - How you feeling? - Kind of not great. 449 00:15:34,647 --> 00:15:36,765 This random loser cat tried to be my pet. 450 00:15:36,816 --> 00:15:38,951 You know what, I think you guys should come out 451 00:15:38,985 --> 00:15:40,202 and trick-or-treat here. 452 00:15:40,253 --> 00:15:41,920 There's this cool Ethiopian lady in my building. 453 00:15:41,955 --> 00:15:43,372 She's handing out doro wat. 454 00:15:43,423 --> 00:15:45,323 It's like this chicken stew with hard-boiled eggs in it. 455 00:15:45,341 --> 00:15:46,625 Kids love it. 456 00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:48,627 No, we've been done with our trick-or-treating 457 00:15:48,661 --> 00:15:49,628 for about an hour. 458 00:15:49,662 --> 00:15:51,096 What? It's not even dark out. 459 00:15:51,130 --> 00:15:53,498 - How is that scary? - Well, Riley doesn't want 460 00:15:53,516 --> 00:15:54,666 to be scared. 461 00:15:54,684 --> 00:15:55,934 Okay, whatever, just put her 462 00:15:55,969 --> 00:15:57,352 on the phone for me, please? 463 00:15:57,387 --> 00:16:00,856 Riley, telephone! 464 00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:03,191 It's your fairy godmother. 465 00:16:03,226 --> 00:16:05,143 Hewwo? 466 00:16:05,177 --> 00:16:07,312 "Hewwo"? Riley, you're in first grade now. 467 00:16:07,346 --> 00:16:09,398 - How 'bout hello? - Hello. 468 00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:10,616 Hey, man, happy Halloween. 469 00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:12,317 Anything scary happen? Did you see a werewolf? 470 00:16:12,351 --> 00:16:14,536 I was a princess, and I got candy, 471 00:16:14,571 --> 00:16:15,787 and now I'm watching TV. 472 00:16:15,822 --> 00:16:17,355 Sounds pretty good. What are you watching? 473 00:16:17,373 --> 00:16:19,357 It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. 474 00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:20,509 What is the deal with the Great Pumpkin? 475 00:16:20,543 --> 00:16:21,693 Everyone's talking about it. 476 00:16:21,711 --> 00:16:23,996 Well, Linus waits for the Great Pumpkin 477 00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:26,214 all night, but he doesn't show up. 478 00:16:26,249 --> 00:16:28,216 Sounds like Linus is kind of a dummy then, huh? 479 00:16:28,251 --> 00:16:29,585 No, he is not! 480 00:16:29,636 --> 00:16:31,470 Sorry, babe. He just sounds kind of dumb. 481 00:16:31,504 --> 00:16:32,721 I've been waiting for a Great Pumpkin, 482 00:16:32,755 --> 00:16:33,805 and he never seems to show up. 483 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,257 I think Linus should just give up, 484 00:16:35,308 --> 00:16:36,808 go into his house, 485 00:16:36,843 --> 00:16:38,510 watch some murder shows. 486 00:16:38,544 --> 00:16:41,096 He'll never give up 'cause he has hope. 487 00:16:41,147 --> 00:16:42,931 Okay, we're just gonna have to agree to disagree. 488 00:16:42,982 --> 00:16:44,716 - Love you. - Wuv you. 489 00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:45,734 [Groans] 490 00:16:51,024 --> 00:16:53,191 Damn it, Riley. 491 00:16:53,225 --> 00:16:56,194 [Linus and Lucy plays] 492 00:16:56,228 --> 00:17:04,235 493 00:17:26,076 --> 00:17:27,043 Don't screw me. 494 00:17:27,077 --> 00:17:28,261 Okay, because there's not a dent 495 00:17:28,295 --> 00:17:30,546 on your DMV car. 496 00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:32,215 Maybe some fake cobwebs and pieces 497 00:17:32,249 --> 00:17:33,383 of styrofoam ghouls and whatnot, 498 00:17:33,417 --> 00:17:35,184 but, look, it's nothing a hose can't fix. 499 00:17:35,219 --> 00:17:36,602 Danny, come on. 500 00:17:36,637 --> 00:17:38,254 Danny. 501 00:17:38,272 --> 00:17:40,256 [Groans] Can I tell you a secret? 502 00:17:40,274 --> 00:17:42,758 Oh, God, this day is incredible. 503 00:17:42,776 --> 00:17:45,361 I'm actually jealous of you 504 00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:47,230 because, unlike me, you actually care 505 00:17:47,264 --> 00:17:49,565 about everything. 506 00:17:49,599 --> 00:17:51,267 When the Mets lose a key match, 507 00:17:51,285 --> 00:17:53,769 how you scream at your little radio. 508 00:17:53,787 --> 00:17:55,321 When your favorite sub sandwich shop closed, 509 00:17:55,372 --> 00:17:57,290 I heard weeping through your door. 510 00:17:57,324 --> 00:17:58,941 - I wasn't weeping. - You were weeping. 511 00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:00,376 You've got such passion. 512 00:18:00,411 --> 00:18:02,945 I can only imagine the vigor you apply between the sheets. 513 00:18:02,963 --> 00:18:05,832 [Chuckles] That's enough of that. 514 00:18:05,883 --> 00:18:08,051 But the point is, caring about things, 515 00:18:08,085 --> 00:18:10,002 that's something I know nothing about. 516 00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:12,221 But it's what's given you everything you've got. 517 00:18:12,256 --> 00:18:16,292 And it's what's gonna make you pass this time. 518 00:18:22,983 --> 00:18:24,133 We're pulling for you, Danny. 519 00:18:24,151 --> 00:18:26,986 That's not helping, Eddie. 520 00:18:41,985 --> 00:18:44,003 70 out of 100. You pass. 521 00:18:44,037 --> 00:18:46,339 Yes! [Exhales] 522 00:18:46,373 --> 00:18:49,041 - Good show, old chap. - Yes! Okay. No. 523 00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:50,259 - Okay. - Okay. 524 00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:52,378 - Hey. - Yes. Ow. 525 00:18:54,798 --> 00:18:55,831 Thank you. 526 00:18:55,849 --> 00:18:56,933 You're welcome. 527 00:18:56,967 --> 00:18:58,184 I still can't believe you got her 528 00:18:58,218 --> 00:18:59,502 to give me a second chance. 529 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,020 You must have promised her 530 00:19:01,054 --> 00:19:03,973 a night of "vigor between the sheets." 531 00:19:04,007 --> 00:19:06,675 No, actually I told her you were molested in a car, 532 00:19:06,693 --> 00:19:08,895 which is why the test is so difficult for you. 533 00:19:08,946 --> 00:19:10,179 What? 534 00:19:10,197 --> 00:19:11,197 No wonder she was crying 535 00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:13,182 - and patting me on the shoulder. - Ah. 536 00:19:14,568 --> 00:19:16,035 Now, when Ramon takes your photo, 537 00:19:16,069 --> 00:19:19,655 you hold your head up high. 538 00:19:28,549 --> 00:19:31,801 [Knock at door] 539 00:19:31,835 --> 00:19:35,204 Are you Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride? 540 00:19:35,222 --> 00:19:37,406 No, I'm an enlightment-era homosexual. 541 00:19:37,441 --> 00:19:38,808 Yeah, you got it. 542 00:19:38,842 --> 00:19:40,176 Diane from Cheers. 543 00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:42,044 - Yes! - Great costume. 544 00:19:42,062 --> 00:19:44,046 Thank you. I thought that you would think it was lame. 545 00:19:44,064 --> 00:19:45,348 Are you kidding? No. 546 00:19:45,382 --> 00:19:46,349 No, you nailed it. 547 00:19:46,383 --> 00:19:47,433 You know, I think 548 00:19:47,484 --> 00:19:49,152 that Inigo is actually better than Wesley. 549 00:19:49,186 --> 00:19:51,020 - Duh. - What do you mean, "duh," Josh? 550 00:19:51,054 --> 00:19:53,722 Is that such a pervasive opinion that it warrants a "duh"? 551 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:56,159 Yeah, he's passionate. 552 00:19:56,193 --> 00:19:59,228 He's persistent. He's a badass. 553 00:19:59,246 --> 00:20:00,530 He's-- he's good-looking. 554 00:20:00,564 --> 00:20:02,415 Okay, so he's a lot like you then? 555 00:20:02,449 --> 00:20:05,001 Maybe. 556 00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:06,402 So what happened to your patient in labor? 557 00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:08,554 Oh, yeah, um, she died. 558 00:20:08,589 --> 00:20:10,072 - Actually... - God. 559 00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:11,073 I take that back. 560 00:20:11,091 --> 00:20:12,341 She didn't die. 561 00:20:12,376 --> 00:20:13,342 That's a horrible thing to say. 562 00:20:13,377 --> 00:20:14,343 - It was dark. - Yeah. I'm sorry. 563 00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:15,461 I just felt embarrassed 564 00:20:15,512 --> 00:20:16,712 because I had a lame costume, 565 00:20:16,746 --> 00:20:18,548 and I thought you would think it was lame, and I-- 566 00:20:18,582 --> 00:20:20,082 stupid. 567 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,434 No, that's not lame. 568 00:20:21,468 --> 00:20:24,887 Lame is tracking down a girl on the internet, 569 00:20:24,921 --> 00:20:26,255 finding out what her favorite movie is, 570 00:20:26,273 --> 00:20:29,192 and calling all over the city for an Inigo Montoya costume. 571 00:20:29,226 --> 00:20:32,945 Josh, that's, like, really cute. 572 00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,464 "Cute" like we can skip the party, 573 00:20:35,499 --> 00:20:37,233 move this conversation to the memory foam? 574 00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:38,434 Josh, we're going to the party. 575 00:20:38,452 --> 00:20:39,952 Great. Oh, wait, hang on. 576 00:20:41,321 --> 00:20:43,406 - Can't forget this baby. - Wow. 577 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,874 I have never seen its equal. 578 00:20:44,908 --> 00:20:46,242 What? 579 00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:48,110 That's from the movie, The Princess Bride. 580 00:20:48,128 --> 00:20:49,912 Oh, yeah, I've never actually seen it. 581 00:20:49,946 --> 00:20:52,114 Come on, Josh. Let's get out of here. 582 00:20:52,132 --> 00:20:53,282 Fine. Um... 583 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:56,919 That's so intense. 584 00:20:56,953 --> 00:20:58,588 It's real. 585 00:20:58,622 --> 00:21:00,556 It's a really, really amazing costume. 586 00:21:00,591 --> 00:21:02,425 It should be. It cost me 2 grand. 587 00:21:02,459 --> 00:21:04,260 The costume. The sword was another grand. 588 00:21:04,294 --> 00:21:06,512 Please stop telling me how much everything costs. 589 00:21:07,346 --> 00:21:10,551 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 590 00:21:10,601 --> 00:21:15,151 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41773

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