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1
00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:03,328
(Mindy) You have an idea of how
your life is going to turn out.
2
00:00:03,329 --> 00:00:05,263
When I was a kid, all I did
was watch romantic comedies
3
00:00:05,264 --> 00:00:07,532
in our living room
while I did my homework.
4
00:00:07,533 --> 00:00:09,896
[Along with tv]
"I'll have what she's having."
5
00:00:09,897 --> 00:00:11,870
Some coffee or,
you know, drinks?
6
00:00:11,871 --> 00:00:13,004
(Mindy)
In High School,
7
00:00:13,005 --> 00:00:14,572
Tom Hanks
was my first boyfriend.
8
00:00:14,573 --> 00:00:17,041
"For as long as
we both shall live."
9
00:00:17,042 --> 00:00:19,477
(Mindy) In college,
everything changed.
10
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,313
No supervision,
total freedom.
11
00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:26,751
I could watch romantic comedies
whenever I wanted to.
12
00:00:26,752 --> 00:00:28,286
"I'm just a girl
13
00:00:28,287 --> 00:00:30,955
"standing in front
of a boy
14
00:00:30,956 --> 00:00:33,458
asking him to love her."
15
00:00:33,459 --> 00:00:35,026
(Mindy)
And then two years ago,
16
00:00:35,027 --> 00:00:37,028
when I finally
became a doctor,
17
00:00:37,029 --> 00:00:40,265
I had no time
for any distractions.
18
00:00:40,266 --> 00:00:41,733
You are 8 1/2 months pregnant.
19
00:00:41,734 --> 00:00:44,369
Your husband's gotta keep
his schvantz away from you.
20
00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:45,603
Which I can imagine
must be difficult
21
00:00:45,604 --> 00:00:49,340
with a wife
as beautiful as yours.
22
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,875
She's already pregnant,
Dr. Reed.
23
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,710
Idiot.
24
00:00:52,711 --> 00:00:56,281
I am going to put
Dr. Castellano in charge.
25
00:00:56,282 --> 00:00:57,916
He's my best resident.
26
00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,118
Dr. Castellano.
27
00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:01,619
Daniel Castellano.
28
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:03,588
I'm the man that's gonna
take a person outta you.
29
00:01:03,589 --> 00:01:05,723
I don't take that
responsibility lightly, okay?
30
00:01:05,724 --> 00:01:07,292
(Shulman)
You're scaring them, Danny.
31
00:01:07,293 --> 00:01:08,360
(Danny) Sorry.
Sorry, ma'am.
32
00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:10,128
Don't be frightened.
33
00:01:10,129 --> 00:01:12,130
[Romantic music]
34
00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:15,333
(Mindy)
And that's when I saw him.
35
00:01:15,334 --> 00:01:17,669
[Chuckles]
36
00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:21,005
Oh, my God.
37
00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:22,005
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
38
00:01:22,006 --> 00:01:23,474
Sorry.
39
00:01:23,475 --> 00:01:25,542
Sorry.
40
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,178
No way.
Thanks.
41
00:01:27,179 --> 00:01:28,346
It's happening.
42
00:01:31,016 --> 00:01:32,717
The doors are closing.
43
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,420
I just love when the elevators
start to do their thing.
44
00:01:35,421 --> 00:01:36,347
Oh.
45
00:01:36,348 --> 00:01:37,689
Never thought about that.
46
00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:38,724
I guess I do too.
47
00:01:38,725 --> 00:01:40,825
Oh, my God.
48
00:01:40,826 --> 00:01:41,825
Sorry.
49
00:01:41,826 --> 00:01:43,862
Oh, here, let me help you
with that stuff.
50
00:01:43,863 --> 00:01:45,062
Sorry.
Oh.
51
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,164
[Both chuckle]
52
00:01:46,165 --> 00:01:47,398
Klutzes, party of two.
53
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,499
Seriously.
54
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,868
(Mindy)
Met in an elevator.
55
00:01:49,869 --> 00:01:51,202
My hair came undone.
56
00:01:51,203 --> 00:01:52,337
Are you kidding me?
57
00:01:52,338 --> 00:01:53,771
I'm basically
Sandra bullock.
58
00:01:53,772 --> 00:01:56,975
And then it happened.
59
00:01:56,976 --> 00:01:58,476
Did the elevator just stop?
60
00:01:58,477 --> 00:02:00,178
I'm mindy.
61
00:02:00,179 --> 00:02:01,779
Obstetrics and gynecology.
62
00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:04,649
Tom.
Oral surgery.
63
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,720
Can I get you an orange?
64
00:02:08,721 --> 00:02:10,154
(Mindy) We were stuck in
the elevator for 20 minutes...
65
00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:11,623
I have a sandwich here.
66
00:02:11,624 --> 00:02:14,726
(Mindy) And I moved into his
apartment two months later.
67
00:02:14,727 --> 00:02:15,827
What does this have to do
68
00:02:15,828 --> 00:02:17,228
with the circumstances
of your arrest?
69
00:02:17,229 --> 00:02:18,529
I am getting to that.
70
00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:21,199
Tom got married last night
to someone else.
71
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,500
(Mindy)
Three months ago,
72
00:02:22,501 --> 00:02:24,802
he met and fell in love
with some serbian girl
73
00:02:24,803 --> 00:02:27,523
who sells bagels
in the lobby of the hospital.
74
00:02:27,524 --> 00:02:30,041
He fixed her teeth,
dumped me,
75
00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:32,010
and last night,
they got married.
76
00:02:32,011 --> 00:02:33,845
I don't think they thought
I would ever go,
77
00:02:33,846 --> 00:02:35,847
so they invited me
to be polite.
78
00:02:35,848 --> 00:02:37,415
But, oh, I did go.
79
00:02:37,416 --> 00:02:39,550
And after four vodka sodas,
80
00:02:39,551 --> 00:02:42,253
I realized
I had something to say.
81
00:02:42,254 --> 00:02:43,488
Some of you
might not know
82
00:02:43,489 --> 00:02:45,590
that Tom and I
used to date.
83
00:02:45,591 --> 00:02:47,325
So I have
some pretty good stories
84
00:02:47,326 --> 00:02:50,695
about everyone's favorite
glorified dentist.
85
00:02:50,696 --> 00:02:52,430
[Laughter]
86
00:02:52,431 --> 00:02:55,500
Like how Tom will always
cover his ears and go, "ahh,"
87
00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:57,402
if you start talking
about an episode of TV
88
00:02:57,403 --> 00:02:58,836
that he has not seen yet.
89
00:02:58,837 --> 00:03:00,571
God forbid
90
00:03:00,572 --> 00:03:03,007
you give away the ending
to Downton abbey.
91
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:04,208
What the hell is this show,
92
00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:05,443
and why does everybody
keep talking about it?
93
00:03:05,444 --> 00:03:06,244
Shh.
94
00:03:06,245 --> 00:03:07,445
Why can't I talk?
95
00:03:07,446 --> 00:03:09,180
Or the time
that Tom told me,
96
00:03:09,181 --> 00:03:10,180
um, when we were having sex
97
00:03:10,181 --> 00:03:12,517
that he wanted to marry me
98
00:03:12,518 --> 00:03:15,053
and make me pregnant
with six babies.
99
00:03:15,054 --> 00:03:17,121
Did you guys know
about that?
100
00:03:17,122 --> 00:03:18,790
Which I really wanted too.
101
00:03:18,791 --> 00:03:19,991
Hey...
102
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,392
But that didn't
end up happening
103
00:03:21,393 --> 00:03:23,027
'cause I think
I was too old.
104
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,395
No, I mean, I know that
I was too old.
105
00:03:24,396 --> 00:03:25,964
That's what you said to me.
106
00:03:25,965 --> 00:03:27,365
Not what I said.
107
00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:28,566
When you broke up with me.
108
00:03:28,567 --> 00:03:30,201
Sorry, you said you wanted
to build a future
109
00:03:30,202 --> 00:03:32,236
with someone
with more years to share.
110
00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,638
That is what I said.
111
00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:34,639
Doesn't matter,
112
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,374
because here you are,
getting married
113
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:38,209
to the serbian bagel girl.
114
00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:39,410
By the way,
are we 100% sure
115
00:03:39,411 --> 00:03:41,279
that she is
not a war criminal?
116
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,413
Don't look at me
like that.
117
00:03:42,414 --> 00:03:43,581
Am I the only person here
118
00:03:43,582 --> 00:03:44,749
who saw
Angelina jolie's movie?
119
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,084
She's not a war criminal.
120
00:03:46,085 --> 00:03:48,186
Whatever, you guys.
I'm so happy for you.
121
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,988
I only want the best
for the two of you.
122
00:03:49,989 --> 00:03:51,656
One of you.
Let's wrap it up.
123
00:03:51,657 --> 00:03:52,590
L'chaim!
[Glass breaks]
124
00:03:52,591 --> 00:03:54,258
Everyone,
great talking to you.
125
00:03:54,259 --> 00:03:55,293
Huh!
126
00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:56,127
Great, awesome.
Thank you.
127
00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:57,795
Brilliant.
128
00:03:59,264 --> 00:04:02,133
I'm Sandra bullock!
129
00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:04,002
[Upbeat techno music]
130
00:04:04,003 --> 00:04:05,285
[Horn honks]
131
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,411
Racist!
132
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,740
Ooh, a shortcut.
133
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,976
Aah!
134
00:04:15,247 --> 00:04:18,133
Mindy.
Mindy, down here.
135
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,418
I've been waiting for you.
136
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,599
Can I tell you something,
girl to girl?
137
00:04:27,359 --> 00:04:29,812
You are acting
like a [Bleep] idiot.
138
00:04:31,530 --> 00:04:33,031
If you don't
pull it together,
139
00:04:33,032 --> 00:04:34,999
no one will ever love you.
140
00:04:38,203 --> 00:04:40,805
At least I have
a boyfriend.
141
00:04:40,806 --> 00:04:43,041
(Mindy)
And when that hot, mean doll
142
00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:46,177
pointed out
that even she had a boyfriend,
143
00:04:46,178 --> 00:04:48,913
I just started to cry.
144
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:51,449
This is not
where I should be.
145
00:04:59,191 --> 00:05:00,458
It's important
for you to know
146
00:05:00,459 --> 00:05:02,393
that this is not really
who I am.
147
00:05:02,394 --> 00:05:06,264
Or who I have been
is not who I'm going to be.
148
00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:09,333
We have you down for three
counts of public intoxication,
149
00:05:09,334 --> 00:05:11,402
theft,
and disorderly conduct.
150
00:05:11,403 --> 00:05:12,737
I'm sorry,
disorderly conduct?
151
00:05:12,738 --> 00:05:14,563
Aren't there rapists
and murderers out there?
152
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:15,873
When you are disorderly,
153
00:05:15,874 --> 00:05:18,242
you are a rapist
of peace and quiet.
154
00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:20,211
That's a little... okay.
155
00:05:20,212 --> 00:05:21,145
She's been bailed out.
156
00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:22,489
Gwen, my hero.
157
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:23,915
It has been great
158
00:05:23,916 --> 00:05:25,416
working with you
159
00:05:25,417 --> 00:05:27,585
and seeing this process
from the inside.
160
00:05:27,586 --> 00:05:28,786
Before I leave,
161
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,389
would it be possible
to get a tour
162
00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:32,590
of the special victims unit?
163
00:05:32,591 --> 00:05:34,525
[Clears throat] No? Okay, bye.
164
00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:36,594
(Gwen)
Did you think that Tom
165
00:05:36,595 --> 00:05:37,995
was just gonna
ditch the wedding
166
00:05:37,996 --> 00:05:39,464
and run off with you
like you're Katherine Heigl?
167
00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:40,932
Kind of, yes.
168
00:05:40,933 --> 00:05:42,467
Well, your life is not
a romantic comedy.
169
00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:44,469
Right now it seems more like
a sad documentary
170
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,837
about a criminally
insane spinster.
171
00:05:45,838 --> 00:05:47,514
It kinda sounds like I could
win an Oscar though.
172
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,348
I think I should cancel
that date tonight with Dennis.
173
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,475
Gwen, no.
174
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:51,876
Listen, I'm just
being real with you.
175
00:05:51,877 --> 00:05:54,229
Carl and I know, like,
three datable guys
176
00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:55,279
that we can set
friends up with,
177
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,356
and I can't squander them
178
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:58,616
on a high-risk situation
like this.
179
00:05:58,617 --> 00:05:59,917
Okay, I promise you, Gwen,
180
00:05:59,918 --> 00:06:01,085
this drunk,
crime-committing person,
181
00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:02,453
she's history.
182
00:06:02,454 --> 00:06:04,573
There's no reason for me
to live my life like this.
183
00:06:04,574 --> 00:06:07,159
I went to a good college,
I am a doctor.
184
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,368
This is boring.
185
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:10,161
My body mass index
is not great,
186
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,122
but I'm not, like, precious
or anything, you know?
187
00:06:12,123 --> 00:06:13,464
This is boring.
188
00:06:13,465 --> 00:06:15,333
You know what, you are boring.
Contribute something.
189
00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:16,834
Don't call
my daughter boring.
190
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:17,868
Honey,
you're fascinating.
191
00:06:17,869 --> 00:06:19,470
Hmm.
192
00:06:19,471 --> 00:06:20,547
Listen, Gwen,
193
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,806
I cannot keep hooking up
with Jeremy
194
00:06:21,807 --> 00:06:23,174
and then later asking him,
195
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,342
"hey, what's our deal anyway?"
196
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,810
That British guy,
he is bad news.
197
00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:27,345
We do not know
that he is bad news.
198
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:28,679
I think he has a good heart.
199
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,681
I think he's Hugh grant in
about a boy.
200
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,451
I think that he is Hugh grant
in real life.
201
00:06:33,452 --> 00:06:34,601
Mindy?
202
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:35,987
I hate to interrupt
203
00:06:35,988 --> 00:06:37,231
because I see
you're enjoying
204
00:06:37,232 --> 00:06:38,589
some well-deserved BFF time.
205
00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:39,657
Hello, Gwendolyn.
206
00:06:39,658 --> 00:06:40,558
Hi.
207
00:06:40,559 --> 00:06:42,093
Your patient,
Allison silverman,
208
00:06:42,094 --> 00:06:43,070
is going into labor.
209
00:06:43,071 --> 00:06:44,529
The one with insurance?
210
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:45,630
Oh, hell yes, okay.
211
00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:46,497
Bye, guys.
Gotta go.
212
00:06:46,498 --> 00:06:47,698
Love you.
Bye, love you.
213
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,700
[Rock music]
214
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,002
(Man)
Hey!
215
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,906
It's fine.
I'm a doctor!
216
00:06:54,907 --> 00:06:56,416
Medical emergency!
217
00:06:58,177 --> 00:07:00,210
[Baby crying]
218
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,846
Congratulations.
219
00:07:01,847 --> 00:07:02,847
There you go.
220
00:07:02,848 --> 00:07:05,016
I'm on call.
221
00:07:05,017 --> 00:07:06,551
So you delivered
my patient?
222
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:09,320
You're welcome.
223
00:07:09,321 --> 00:07:11,756
May I say you look great?
224
00:07:11,757 --> 00:07:14,292
Sorry, Danny, I didn't have time
to get dolled up for you
225
00:07:14,293 --> 00:07:16,160
because I was kind of busy
freeing myself
226
00:07:16,161 --> 00:07:17,662
from wrongful imprisonment.
Wrongful?
227
00:07:17,663 --> 00:07:19,063
My God, you think they'll
ever catch the real drunk girl
228
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,332
who fell into the pool?
That's hilarious.
229
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:22,466
But I guess
it's not hilarious
230
00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:23,834
when you get
arrested for assault
231
00:07:23,835 --> 00:07:25,069
at a Bruce Springsteen
concert.
232
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,504
First of all,
it's a Springsteen show,
233
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:28,115
not a Bruce Springsteen
concert.
234
00:07:28,116 --> 00:07:29,540
You sound ignorant.
235
00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:31,008
Second of all, you don't
show up at a Springsteen show
236
00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:32,677
wearing a John cougar mellencamp
t-shirt
237
00:07:32,678 --> 00:07:34,512
unless you want
to get punched in the face.
238
00:07:34,513 --> 00:07:35,746
How did I get
239
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,315
into this Springsteen-mellencamp
conversation again?
240
00:07:37,316 --> 00:07:39,150
Oh, and Mrs. silverman asked if
I'd be her doctor from now on,
241
00:07:39,151 --> 00:07:40,451
and I said yes.
242
00:07:40,452 --> 00:07:42,453
Are you kidding me?
243
00:07:42,454 --> 00:07:44,021
So now you're stealing
my patient?
244
00:07:44,022 --> 00:07:46,157
It's not stealing
if she wanted to go.
245
00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:47,525
Leave her alone, Danny.
She's had a rough night.
246
00:07:47,526 --> 00:07:48,842
And whose fault is that?
247
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,394
Everyone loses it
at weddings.
248
00:07:50,395 --> 00:07:51,963
They're designed to exploit
our sentimental side.
249
00:07:51,964 --> 00:07:54,165
Thank you.
I agree with that.
250
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:57,101
I can't recall a wedding
where I didn't end up
251
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,270
in the arms of some woman
I met that night.
252
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,638
And not because
she was vulnerable.
253
00:08:00,639 --> 00:08:03,274
'Cause I was.
254
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,842
You know, I used to think
that sex addiction
255
00:08:04,843 --> 00:08:07,245
was made up
by male celebrities,
256
00:08:07,246 --> 00:08:08,646
but now I think it's real.
257
00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:09,947
That's not cool.
258
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,983
Yes, yeah, I love sex.
I do it a lot.
259
00:08:11,984 --> 00:08:13,317
I do it well.
260
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:14,619
But I'm not
addicted to it.
261
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,654
I'm addicted to attention.
262
00:08:16,655 --> 00:08:18,856
That is so interesting.
263
00:08:18,857 --> 00:08:20,791
Listen, I'm all for lonely
people making connections,
264
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,593
but this is
the doctors' lounge,
265
00:08:22,594 --> 00:08:23,960
not the wooded area
266
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:26,030
behind the highway rest stop,
all right?
267
00:08:26,031 --> 00:08:27,164
I mean, really,
268
00:08:27,165 --> 00:08:29,700
guys, I hate
that I can't read
269
00:08:29,701 --> 00:08:31,102
the newspaper in here anymore.
270
00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:32,069
Yeah, we get it, Danny.
271
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,704
You read the newspaper.
272
00:08:33,705 --> 00:08:35,039
You're so much smarter than us.
273
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,072
We get it, Danny.
274
00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:37,100
You're so much smarter
than us.
275
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:38,542
I am though.
276
00:08:38,543 --> 00:08:41,379
I'm smarter than you.
277
00:08:44,383 --> 00:08:46,651
You look so trashy right now.
278
00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:47,652
I know.
279
00:08:47,653 --> 00:08:49,954
I'm sorry.
No, I love it.
280
00:08:49,955 --> 00:08:52,156
Do you wanna hang out?
We are hanging out.
281
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,492
Let's hang out deep.
282
00:08:58,430 --> 00:09:01,198
Oh, God.
283
00:09:01,199 --> 00:09:02,900
Sorry,
thank you for the offer. What?
284
00:09:02,901 --> 00:09:04,168
I want to.
You should.
285
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,336
And I can't.
Okay.
286
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,704
You're gorgeous.
Okay, I gotta go.
287
00:09:06,705 --> 00:09:07,704
I gotta go.
288
00:09:07,705 --> 00:09:09,573
This sucks.
I hate my life.
289
00:09:09,574 --> 00:09:11,108
Take that trashiness with you.
Okay, thanks.
290
00:09:11,109 --> 00:09:12,443
Okay, good-bye.
291
00:09:12,444 --> 00:09:15,179
[The Watson twins'
how am I to be]
292
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,947
[Camera shutter clicks]
293
00:09:16,948 --> 00:09:19,917
??? how am I to be
294
00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:23,020
??? with all your silly ways
295
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,422
??? now
296
00:09:27,749 --> 00:09:28,882
note to self,
297
00:09:28,883 --> 00:09:30,384
try to change
your life today.
298
00:09:30,385 --> 00:09:33,086
I'm gonna take the stairs
instead of taking the elevator,
299
00:09:33,087 --> 00:09:34,491
or escalator maybe.
300
00:09:34,492 --> 00:09:35,489
Baby steps.
301
00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:36,757
There's a patient waiting
in your office.
302
00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:39,830
That's great news.
Thank you, Betsy.
303
00:09:39,831 --> 00:09:41,461
Nasreen,
you are nine months pregnant,
304
00:09:41,462 --> 00:09:42,729
and you don't have
health insurance.
305
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,398
I'm sorry, I just...
306
00:09:44,399 --> 00:09:46,566
I can't take you on
as a patient.
307
00:09:46,567 --> 00:09:48,402
But my aunt and uncle said
you were the person to go to.
308
00:09:48,403 --> 00:09:49,436
I was.
309
00:09:49,437 --> 00:09:51,571
And I really, really
want to help you.
310
00:09:51,572 --> 00:09:53,774
It's just that
I'm at this point in my life
311
00:09:53,775 --> 00:09:55,575
where I can't just do
what I want to do.
312
00:09:55,576 --> 00:09:56,513
You know,
I have to do things
313
00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:58,515
that really move
my life forward.
314
00:09:58,516 --> 00:09:59,379
Like... like spinning.
315
00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:01,314
Do you guys know
what that is?
316
00:10:01,315 --> 00:10:02,282
We won't tell anybody.
317
00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:03,450
Still,
people could find out.
318
00:10:03,451 --> 00:10:05,118
How?
319
00:10:05,119 --> 00:10:06,953
Um, let's see,
I talk a lot.
320
00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:09,022
You know, like in my sleep,
on a date.
321
00:10:09,023 --> 00:10:10,223
I drink a lot.
322
00:10:10,224 --> 00:10:11,526
So I just,
I can't control it.
323
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,394
[Speaking foreign language]
324
00:10:17,365 --> 00:10:18,799
Okay, okay, okay,
look, look.
325
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,101
I will take you on
as a patient,
326
00:10:21,102 --> 00:10:23,103
but you just need
to look me in the eye
327
00:10:23,104 --> 00:10:24,571
and promise me that you
will have health insurance
328
00:10:24,572 --> 00:10:26,673
by the time she delivers.
329
00:10:26,674 --> 00:10:29,142
But I can't promise it.
I don't know if it's true.
330
00:10:29,143 --> 00:10:30,844
It doesn't have to be true.
I just need to hear it.
331
00:10:30,845 --> 00:10:32,215
I do this with guys
all the time.
332
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,181
I promise we will
have insurance.
333
00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:36,950
Great, thank you.
Welcome.
334
00:10:36,951 --> 00:10:40,654
Hey, you two,
quick question.
335
00:10:40,655 --> 00:10:42,456
Do you care about my career
and want me to succeed?
336
00:10:42,457 --> 00:10:44,061
More than anything
in the world.
337
00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:45,525
Okay, well,
if that is the case,
338
00:10:45,526 --> 00:10:47,527
why are you sending me
non-english-speaking
339
00:10:47,528 --> 00:10:48,899
pregnant immigrants
with no health insurance,
340
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:51,164
with literally, like,
burkas and stuff?
341
00:10:51,165 --> 00:10:53,500
I thought she might be rich
with oil money.
342
00:10:53,501 --> 00:10:55,602
Well, she wasn't.
She was poor with nothing money.
343
00:10:55,603 --> 00:10:56,970
Well, why wouldn't
you just tell her no?
344
00:10:56,971 --> 00:10:58,338
Because I am not good
at saying no.
345
00:10:58,339 --> 00:10:59,906
Okay, one time
I left a flea market
346
00:10:59,907 --> 00:11:01,208
with a samurai sword.
347
00:11:01,209 --> 00:11:02,642
I just... I need
a different kind of patient.
348
00:11:02,643 --> 00:11:04,644
More white patients, done.
349
00:11:04,645 --> 00:11:06,680
Well, don't write that.
350
00:11:06,681 --> 00:11:08,251
[Whispers]
But yes.
351
00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:13,386
So do you guys want to see
an amazing first-date outfit?
352
00:11:13,387 --> 00:11:14,621
Yes.
For sure.
353
00:11:15,857 --> 00:11:17,190
Oh, my gosh!
354
00:11:17,191 --> 00:11:19,192
I mean, I don't know.
Wow.
355
00:11:19,193 --> 00:11:20,861
Gotta give it up,
you look hot.
356
00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:22,496
Thank you for giving it up,
shauna.
357
00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:24,226
Okay.
Boy.
358
00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:25,517
I can hear you.
What?
359
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,167
That's not a good date outfit.
360
00:11:27,168 --> 00:11:28,301
What are you talking about?
361
00:11:28,302 --> 00:11:29,469
It's glamorous,
and it's awesome.
362
00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:30,941
Girls may like that stuff,
but guys don't.
363
00:11:30,942 --> 00:11:32,706
Um, I think I know
what guys like.
364
00:11:32,707 --> 00:11:34,508
Maybe. Is your date
with Elton John
365
00:11:34,509 --> 00:11:35,842
on new year's Eve?
366
00:11:35,843 --> 00:11:36,843
[Shauna and Betsy giggle]
367
00:11:36,844 --> 00:11:38,044
That's not funny.
368
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:40,881
That is insensitive
to gay men and to me.
369
00:11:40,882 --> 00:11:41,914
Morning, everybody.
370
00:11:41,915 --> 00:11:43,216
Good morning.
371
00:11:43,217 --> 00:11:44,551
Dr. shulman,
do you like my outfit?
372
00:11:44,552 --> 00:11:45,752
It's glitzy.
373
00:11:45,753 --> 00:11:46,957
Got razzle-dazzle,
374
00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:49,589
like a fishing lure.
375
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:51,424
But do you like it?
376
00:11:51,425 --> 00:11:54,761
Danny, you know, I like it
because she likes it so much.
377
00:11:54,762 --> 00:11:56,299
Mindy,
what's the occasion?
378
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,898
First date.
First date?
379
00:11:57,899 --> 00:11:59,966
Exciting.
380
00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:02,369
Remember,
you're worth waiting for.
381
00:12:05,606 --> 00:12:07,073
He hates it.
382
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:08,341
He didn't say that.
383
00:12:08,342 --> 00:12:09,609
Anyway, that's just
my two cents,
384
00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:10,777
but what do I know?
385
00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:13,647
I'm just a wealthy, single
heterosexual male.
386
00:12:13,648 --> 00:12:15,782
Well, what do you think she
should wear, Dr. Castellano?
387
00:12:15,783 --> 00:12:17,487
She didn't grow up
in this country.
388
00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:18,818
Actually, I did grow up
in this country, Betsy.
389
00:12:18,819 --> 00:12:19,986
Thank you.
Oh.
390
00:12:19,987 --> 00:12:21,254
But answer the question.
391
00:12:21,255 --> 00:12:22,355
Easy, tight dress,
392
00:12:22,356 --> 00:12:23,456
shoes that won't
make you complain
393
00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:24,424
about walking two blocks.
394
00:12:24,425 --> 00:12:25,625
Not a lot of makeup.
395
00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:27,495
Look hot.
Keep it simple.
396
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:29,563
Okay, thank you.
Sure.
397
00:12:29,564 --> 00:12:31,431
I'm just gonna take
fashion advice from...
398
00:12:31,432 --> 00:12:32,732
[Deep-voiced]
Danny Castellano.
399
00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:34,234
You're welcome.
400
00:12:34,235 --> 00:12:36,173
'Cause Danny Castellano,
he really gets women, you know?
401
00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:38,104
I do, don't I?
Just ask his wife.
402
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:41,341
Oh, I'm sorry,
his, um, ex-wife.
403
00:12:44,812 --> 00:12:46,264
You know what would
really look great?
404
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:47,432
Yeah? What?
405
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,783
If you lost 15 pounds.
406
00:12:49,784 --> 00:12:51,251
What?
407
00:12:51,252 --> 00:12:52,647
Do you wanna get smacked?
408
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,721
No, I don't wanna get smacked,
Dr. Lahiri,
409
00:12:54,722 --> 00:12:56,289
not in my place of work.
410
00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:59,192
I want to peacefully
go about my day.
411
00:12:59,193 --> 00:13:00,594
(Jeremy)
Do not listen to him.
412
00:13:00,595 --> 00:13:02,128
You are beautiful.
413
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:04,409
Don't let anybody
tell you otherwise.
414
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:07,037
If you need me,
I'll be in my office.
415
00:13:09,904 --> 00:13:12,375
[Rock music]
416
00:13:12,873 --> 00:13:15,642
???
417
00:13:15,643 --> 00:13:17,110
okay, okay, okay.
418
00:13:17,111 --> 00:13:18,211
That's enough,
that's enough.
419
00:13:18,212 --> 00:13:19,346
We're at work
for God's sake.
420
00:13:19,347 --> 00:13:21,448
Come on.
This is really unprofessional.
421
00:13:21,449 --> 00:13:24,618
Oh, great, we broke this model
of the human pelvis.
422
00:13:24,619 --> 00:13:26,319
What's wrong with us?
423
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,487
I'm 31 right now.
424
00:13:27,488 --> 00:13:28,788
I can't do
this kinda thing anymore.
425
00:13:28,789 --> 00:13:30,227
I need to give
myself a chance.
426
00:13:30,228 --> 00:13:31,725
And if that doesn't work out,
427
00:13:31,726 --> 00:13:35,295
we could maybe resume this
in my 40s, 50s, and 60s.
428
00:13:35,296 --> 00:13:36,663
Yeah, I'm not gonna want
to have sex with you
429
00:13:36,664 --> 00:13:38,151
in your 40s, 50s, or 60s.
430
00:13:38,152 --> 00:13:39,399
That's really rude.
431
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,533
And just so you know,
when I'm that age,
432
00:13:40,534 --> 00:13:41,968
I'm gonna be super hot
and have a bunch
433
00:13:41,969 --> 00:13:43,303
of really cute kids
running around. Right.
434
00:13:43,304 --> 00:13:45,405
Meanwhile, you are gonna be
some weirdo alcoholic
435
00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:46,993
trying to write
a novel in Cuba.
436
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,078
Poems, but...
437
00:13:48,079 --> 00:13:49,209
Doesn't matter.
Right.
438
00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:50,510
You know what,
I'm gonna take this,
439
00:13:50,511 --> 00:13:52,082
because I don't think
you deserve to have it.
440
00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:54,332
I need some pens.
Oh.
441
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,315
[Door slams]
442
00:13:55,316 --> 00:13:56,883
Got more pens.
443
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,225
[Elevator dings]
444
00:14:20,574 --> 00:14:23,243
You look nice.
Go to hell.
445
00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:27,801
Dear lord,
please let this date be good.
446
00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:30,070
May he have the wealth
of mayor Bloomberg,
447
00:14:30,071 --> 00:14:32,072
the personality
of jon Stewart,
448
00:14:32,073 --> 00:14:36,410
the face
of Michael Fassbender.
449
00:14:36,411 --> 00:14:38,545
The penis
of Michael Fassbender.
450
00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:39,847
And may...
[Taxi meter beeps]
451
00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:41,715
Okay, okay.
I'm going, I'm going.
452
00:14:41,716 --> 00:14:44,918
[Dinner music]
453
00:14:44,919 --> 00:14:50,918
???
454
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:53,559
hi.
455
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,496
I'm Dennis.
I'm mindy.
456
00:14:55,497 --> 00:14:56,630
I just came
from a delivery,
457
00:14:56,631 --> 00:14:58,232
so threw this on,
raced over.
458
00:14:58,233 --> 00:15:01,568
Well, you look very pretty
for having just raced over.
459
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:02,936
I just wish that I had
more time, you know,
460
00:15:02,937 --> 00:15:04,238
to get ready for this date.
461
00:15:04,239 --> 00:15:06,173
I mean, if it is a date.
I don't care.
462
00:15:06,174 --> 00:15:08,876
We could just be here as bros,
who cares?
463
00:15:08,877 --> 00:15:10,711
Not me.
What should I get to eat?
464
00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,913
No, it's a date.
465
00:15:12,914 --> 00:15:16,083
Oh.
466
00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,719
Let's see,
what should I order?
467
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,713
I'm basically a vegetarian
for moral reasons.
468
00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:24,992
I mean, I eat eggs
and fish and hamburgers.
469
00:15:24,993 --> 00:15:26,560
Never steak.
470
00:15:26,561 --> 00:15:28,429
Well, you gotta draw
the line somewhere.
471
00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:30,264
Wall street, huh?
472
00:15:30,265 --> 00:15:33,100
So you must have access
to a lot of drugs.
473
00:15:33,101 --> 00:15:36,970
Actually, I don't have any
access to drugs on wall street.
474
00:15:36,971 --> 00:15:38,005
Do you?
475
00:15:38,006 --> 00:15:39,439
No, no, no,
I hate drugs.
476
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,909
You know, I didn't know
that pot and marijuana
477
00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:42,909
were the same thing
until college.
478
00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:43,911
Really?
479
00:15:43,912 --> 00:15:46,714
Okay, so we were talking
480
00:15:46,715 --> 00:15:48,582
about how you grew up
very handsome
481
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:51,518
and how difficult
that was for you.
482
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:52,619
Can I just
admit something here?
483
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,221
Mm-hmm.
484
00:15:54,222 --> 00:15:57,124
Carl warned me that
you can be a little bit,
485
00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:59,426
not crazy,
486
00:15:59,427 --> 00:16:00,426
but dramatic.
487
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:01,729
Carl said that?
488
00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:04,164
I will kill...
489
00:16:04,165 --> 00:16:06,467
To, uh, know why he would
say something like that.
490
00:16:06,468 --> 00:16:07,735
That Carl.
491
00:16:07,736 --> 00:16:09,002
I just think
it's really funny
492
00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:11,705
because I find you
so charming and down-to-earth.
493
00:16:11,706 --> 00:16:15,042
Thank you.
Yeah, I hate drama.
494
00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:17,077
My idea
of the perfect night is...
495
00:16:17,078 --> 00:16:18,345
Staying at home.
Staying at home.
496
00:16:18,346 --> 00:16:19,413
Yes!
497
00:16:19,414 --> 00:16:21,749
Eating, um, salad.
498
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,584
Hello, Caprese.
Yeah, yeah.
499
00:16:23,585 --> 00:16:25,052
Uh, miss?
500
00:16:25,053 --> 00:16:26,353
There's a boy on the phone
named Max.
501
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:27,855
He says
it's an emergency.
502
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:30,224
I, uh, respectfully decline.
503
00:16:30,225 --> 00:16:31,925
He says he's called you
several times.
504
00:16:31,926 --> 00:16:33,894
It's the son of a patient.
505
00:16:33,895 --> 00:16:35,295
You know what, take it.
By all means, it's not...
506
00:16:35,296 --> 00:16:36,330
No, no, no.
507
00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:38,065
There's a lot of doctors
who can cover me,
508
00:16:38,066 --> 00:16:39,767
so he's just
so attached to me.
509
00:16:39,768 --> 00:16:41,969
Kids love me.
510
00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:43,237
What do you want me to do?
511
00:16:43,238 --> 00:16:44,505
I don't care, babe.
512
00:16:44,506 --> 00:16:46,540
Just throw it away, hang it up,
whatever you wanna do.
513
00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:48,375
It's your phone.
514
00:16:48,376 --> 00:16:50,091
I don't know
515
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,546
what to tell you.
516
00:16:52,547 --> 00:16:54,848
You know what,
just give me the phone.
517
00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:57,317
Give me the phone.
518
00:16:57,318 --> 00:16:58,285
Max.
519
00:16:58,286 --> 00:16:59,887
I am on a date right now.
520
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,722
Do you know
how difficult it is
521
00:17:01,723 --> 00:17:04,224
for a chubby 31-year-old woman
to go on a legit date
522
00:17:04,225 --> 00:17:06,151
with a guy who majored
in economics at Duke?
523
00:17:06,152 --> 00:17:08,562
Mm, I never told you
those things.
524
00:17:08,563 --> 00:17:11,465
I looked it up online, okay?
Relax.
525
00:17:11,466 --> 00:17:14,735
Please don't pull
at my heartstrings.
526
00:17:14,736 --> 00:17:16,603
Okay, okay, okay.
527
00:17:16,604 --> 00:17:18,839
I'll be there.
Okay, damn it.
528
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,042
Dennis,
I've had a great time,
529
00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:23,210
but I have to go.
530
00:17:23,211 --> 00:17:24,586
Oh.
531
00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:25,712
Yeah, I should be finished
532
00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:26,814
at, like, 2:00 or 3:00
in the morning.
533
00:17:26,815 --> 00:17:28,015
You could just come over.
534
00:17:28,016 --> 00:17:29,632
All right.
535
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,051
Oh, no.
536
00:17:31,052 --> 00:17:32,953
No, no, not like that.
No, I'm sorry.
537
00:17:32,954 --> 00:17:34,922
No, I used to be like that.
Really?
538
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,323
But not anymore.
Not with you.
539
00:17:36,324 --> 00:17:37,424
'Cause I'm not...
540
00:17:37,425 --> 00:17:38,959
No, you're great.
I would love...
541
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:39,992
Okay.
542
00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:41,461
At least not first date.
Sure.
543
00:17:41,462 --> 00:17:43,297
Third date,
whole other story.
544
00:17:43,298 --> 00:17:44,330
Really?
545
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:45,966
No, no, no, no.
546
00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:48,268
Because you,
I like you,
547
00:17:48,269 --> 00:17:51,805
and I wouldn't want
to ruin it with sex.
548
00:17:51,806 --> 00:17:55,776
Okay, it's kind of a...
549
00:17:55,777 --> 00:17:58,278
Roller coaster ride.
550
00:17:58,279 --> 00:18:00,781
[Traffic honking]
551
00:18:00,782 --> 00:18:03,784
[M.I.A.'s bad girls]
552
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,919
Taxi!
553
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,588
??? live fast, die young
554
00:18:07,589 --> 00:18:09,223
??? bad girls do it well
555
00:18:09,224 --> 00:18:10,891
??? live fast, die young
556
00:18:10,892 --> 00:18:12,159
??? bad girls do it well
557
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,061
??? chain hits my chest
558
00:18:14,062 --> 00:18:15,662
??? when I'm banging
on the dashboard ???
559
00:18:15,663 --> 00:18:17,164
??? my chain hits my chest
560
00:18:17,165 --> 00:18:19,466
??? when I'm banging
on the radio ???
561
00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:20,499
??? get back
562
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,636
??? get down
563
00:18:22,637 --> 00:18:25,739
??? pull me closer
if you think you can hang ???
564
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:26,707
??? hands up
565
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:29,142
??? hands tied
566
00:18:29,143 --> 00:18:30,077
??? don't go screaming
567
00:18:30,078 --> 00:18:32,179
??? if I blow you
with a bang ???
568
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:33,914
??? ah, suki, suki
569
00:18:33,915 --> 00:18:35,949
??? I'm coming
in the cherokee ???
570
00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:37,217
??? gasoline
571
00:18:37,218 --> 00:18:39,486
??? there's steam
on the window screen ???
572
00:18:39,487 --> 00:18:40,721
??? take it, take it
573
00:18:40,722 --> 00:18:42,890
??? wheels bouncing
like a trampoline ???
574
00:18:42,891 --> 00:18:44,082
??? when I get
to where I'm going ???
575
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,360
??? gonna have you trembling
576
00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:49,363
[upbeat music]
577
00:18:49,364 --> 00:18:55,363
???
578
00:19:05,246 --> 00:19:07,047
who would actually do that?
579
00:19:07,048 --> 00:19:09,549
Billy, don't run.
580
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:10,584
It's new year's.
581
00:19:10,585 --> 00:19:11,885
Go out and get laid, man.
582
00:19:11,886 --> 00:19:13,420
Danny, honestly,
what is your problem?
583
00:19:13,421 --> 00:19:15,022
What's my problem?
What's his problem?
584
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:16,823
I'd be pissed off
if I was Meg Ryan
585
00:19:16,824 --> 00:19:19,226
and some guy interrupted
my new year's Eve like that.
586
00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:21,695
I'd be like, "hey, man, I'm just
trying to party with my friends
587
00:19:21,696 --> 00:19:23,030
"and kiss some strangers
at midnight.
588
00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:25,432
Like, leave me alone.
What are you doing here?"
589
00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:26,934
Never speak
for Meg Ryan again.
590
00:19:26,935 --> 00:19:28,201
I won't.
591
00:19:31,973 --> 00:19:34,041
I'm assuming
your date is cancelled.
592
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:36,944
Maybe I won't get married,
you know?
593
00:19:36,945 --> 00:19:38,245
Maybe I'll do one of those
594
00:19:38,246 --> 00:19:39,613
eat, pray, love things.
595
00:19:39,614 --> 00:19:41,415
Ugh, no, I don't wanna pray.
Forget it.
596
00:19:41,416 --> 00:19:42,616
I'll just die alone.
597
00:19:42,617 --> 00:19:44,084
So who's the guy?
598
00:19:44,085 --> 00:19:45,352
He was perfect, Danny.
599
00:19:45,353 --> 00:19:46,687
He was handsome,
he had a job,
600
00:19:46,688 --> 00:19:48,221
he was exactly
7 inches taller than me,
601
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,723
which you know
is very important to me.
602
00:19:49,724 --> 00:19:51,058
Was he a man?
603
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,060
What do you mean?
Yeah, of course he was a man.
604
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:55,562
No, I mean, like,
was he a man?
605
00:19:55,563 --> 00:19:56,797
Danny, don't just repeat it
606
00:19:56,798 --> 00:19:58,821
and expect me to understand
what you're saying.
607
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:02,936
Was this the kinda guy who,
if you heard glass breaking
608
00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:04,438
in the middle of the night,
is he gonna jump out of bed,
609
00:20:04,439 --> 00:20:06,273
say, "stay here,"
and look through the house naked
610
00:20:06,274 --> 00:20:07,407
with a baseball bat,
611
00:20:07,408 --> 00:20:08,942
or is he gonna hide
under the covers with you?
612
00:20:08,943 --> 00:20:11,278
I don't know,
that's a good question.
613
00:20:11,279 --> 00:20:13,413
Is this the kinda guy
who is gonna get grossed out
614
00:20:13,414 --> 00:20:14,548
when you give birth,
615
00:20:14,549 --> 00:20:15,782
or is he gonna
dry your forehead
616
00:20:15,783 --> 00:20:17,117
and tell you
you look beautiful
617
00:20:17,118 --> 00:20:18,852
while all that disgusting stuff
is coming out of you?
618
00:20:18,853 --> 00:20:22,289
I couldn't glean that
from this one date we had.
619
00:20:22,290 --> 00:20:23,390
Is this the kinda guy
that's not afraid
620
00:20:23,391 --> 00:20:25,425
to get into a fistfight
at a Springsteen show
621
00:20:25,426 --> 00:20:27,260
because someone really
disrespects him? Okay, okay.
622
00:20:27,261 --> 00:20:28,762
And he'll just put it out...
Okay, okay.
623
00:20:28,763 --> 00:20:30,630
And he'll take 'em down
right there, right now?
624
00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:31,932
You're just talking
about yourself.
625
00:20:31,933 --> 00:20:33,467
I'm not talking about myself. Okay.
626
00:20:33,468 --> 00:20:35,335
Maybe there's
some overlap.
627
00:20:35,336 --> 00:20:37,938
Yeah.
628
00:20:40,608 --> 00:20:41,908
You know,
you actually didn't do
629
00:20:41,909 --> 00:20:43,377
a terrible job
with that breech.
630
00:20:43,378 --> 00:20:45,278
I knew it,
you stalker.
631
00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:47,214
I knew it, you were trying
to steal my delivery.
632
00:20:47,215 --> 00:20:49,049
Well, sure, I never know
when you're gonna get wasted
633
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:50,684
and spend the night in jail.
634
00:20:50,685 --> 00:20:52,519
I gotta pounce
on those opportunities,
635
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,188
with the economy and all.
636
00:20:55,189 --> 00:20:57,173
[Scoffs]
637
00:20:57,174 --> 00:21:00,193
Danny,
that was kinda funny.
638
00:21:00,194 --> 00:21:01,461
What, with the economy line?
639
00:21:01,462 --> 00:21:03,363
Yeah.
Yes.
640
00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:08,935
You know, this morning
I woke up in jail
641
00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:11,405
'cause I was broken up
over a guy
642
00:21:11,406 --> 00:21:13,240
who fixes teeth for a living.
That's crazy.
643
00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:15,042
Now I'm watching
one of my favorite movies.
644
00:21:15,043 --> 00:21:17,276
I just delivered a baby
into this world.
645
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:19,279
I have a new patient.
That's great.
646
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,814
This is working.
647
00:21:20,815 --> 00:21:22,949
This is progress.
648
00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:25,752
This is finally turning...
What are you doing?
649
00:21:25,753 --> 00:21:27,921
Now we're talking.
650
00:21:27,922 --> 00:21:29,156
I am sharing
my feelings with you.
651
00:21:29,157 --> 00:21:30,323
I want to share
this show with you.
652
00:21:30,324 --> 00:21:31,491
It's a great show.
653
00:21:31,492 --> 00:21:33,260
I've seen
this episode before.
654
00:21:33,261 --> 00:21:34,544
There are different
episodes of this?
655
00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:36,863
(Mindy) Okay, Gwen,
let me defend myself.
656
00:21:36,864 --> 00:21:39,332
Because even though I messed up
the date with Dennis,
657
00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:41,435
I think that he was
almost too perfect.
658
00:21:41,436 --> 00:21:43,636
Like maybe he was
a serial murderer or something.
659
00:21:43,637 --> 00:21:46,306
If he's a serial murderer,
then Carl's a serial murderer.
660
00:21:46,307 --> 00:21:47,306
[Buzzer sounds]
661
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,341
Who's that?
662
00:21:48,342 --> 00:21:50,268
Uh, delivery.
I ordered some clear soup.
663
00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:51,945
Clear soup?
That's not a thing.
664
00:21:51,946 --> 00:21:53,713
It is a thing.
It is a thing.
665
00:21:53,714 --> 00:21:55,816
Tell your clear soup
hello for me.
666
00:21:55,817 --> 00:21:57,884
Okay, I will.
667
00:21:57,885 --> 00:21:59,352
Hi.
668
00:22:01,022 --> 00:22:03,990
Hey, Gwen, um...
Mm-hmm.
669
00:22:03,991 --> 00:22:06,026
I really am changing though.
670
00:22:06,027 --> 00:22:07,794
I just feel
very motivated,
671
00:22:07,795 --> 00:22:09,963
and tomorrow
is going to be different.
672
00:22:09,964 --> 00:22:11,914
And you know what,
if not tomorrow,
673
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:13,633
then the next day,
I swear.
674
00:22:13,634 --> 00:22:15,602
Okay.
Okay.
675
00:22:15,603 --> 00:22:19,272
[M.I.A.'s bad girls]
676
00:22:19,273 --> 00:22:20,807
??? live fast, die young
677
00:22:20,808 --> 00:22:23,208
??? bad girls do it well
678
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,250
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
679
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:29,850
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
47640
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