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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,579
[THUNDER CRASHING]
2
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,383
How do you like my new litter box?
3
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,891
[LAUGHS]
4
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:22,891
Halloween.
5
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,726
Is it just a date on the calendar
6
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:27,569
that people from England
don't know about?
7
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,026
Or is it a state of mind?
8
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:33,531
Or is it a state of being?
9
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,702
I frankly don't know.
10
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,903
But come along
on our Halloween journey
11
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,953
and maybe by the end,
we'll all know.
12
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,622
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
13
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,081
Is this lining real satin?
14
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:27,877
Sabrina, could you help me
pick up some stuff this afternoon?
15
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,298
"Water balloons, toilet paper,
dry ice, rotten eggs"?
16
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,756
One more thing, could you
find out where the biology lab
17
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,506
gets those pigs in formaldehyde?
18
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:38,005
Your mom on another one
of her crazy diets?
19
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:41,267
Hey, we only have 33 hours
and 12 minutes left
20
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,598
till Halloween night.
21
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,929
We gotta start planning
our pranks and tricks now.
22
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,597
I can't. Dreama and I are gonna go
look for after-school jobs.
23
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,611
We figured the best time to do it
would be after school.
24
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,321
But this could be our last hurrah.
25
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,280
My dad says
that the Westbridge City Council
26
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:58,032
is gonna make it illegal for kids
over the age of 17 to trick-or-treat.
27
00:01:58,202 --> 00:01:59,994
That's just wrong.
28
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,488
I was gonna march against
sweatshop labour in the Orient,
29
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,492
but now I've got this.
30
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,920
I can't believe how few glamorous,
31
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,208
high-paying, after-school jobs there are
for inexperienced teenagers.
32
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,498
Life is so unfair.
33
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:18,091
So have you decided if you're an
existentialist, an idealist or a nihilist?
34
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,720
Actually, currently,
I'm an unemployed-ist.
35
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,266
Thought you were
in my philosophy class. Sorry.
36
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,223
Can you believe it? A real,
live college student was talking to you.
37
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,190
College is gonna be so great.
38
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:30,018
We'll get to take classes
like philosophy
39
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:34,273
and hang out in places like this
with guys who take philosophy.
40
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,440
- Why don't you get a job here.
- That'd be great.
41
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,107
This place is so cool
and none of the furniture matches.
42
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,444
- Do you know how to make coffee?
- No.
43
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:45,120
But if my cat can do it when
he's half-asleep, how hard can it be?
44
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,747
Oh, excuse me,
I'd like to speak to the manager.
45
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,461
- You from the Health Department?
- No.
46
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,708
Then I'm the manager.
47
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,549
I'm also the cashier, the table busser
and the bouncer.
48
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,626
Matter of fact,
do you know what they call me?
49
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,213
- What?
- Josh.
50
00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:01,337
Oh, well, excuse me, Mr. Josh.
51
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,089
I'm looking for a job.
52
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,637
You are, huh?
You got any experience?
53
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:09,430
Experience?
I travel with my own Melitta filters.
54
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,149
So you got no idea
how to make coffee?
55
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,271
- None.
- Could I get a little service?
56
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,438
Oh, I'm sorr-- Oh!
57
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:18,944
Nice save.
58
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,406
If you can pour
as well as you catch, you're hired.
59
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:24,448
Fantastic.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
60
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,789
This is gonna make it hard
to negotiate salary, isn't it?
61
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,547
So was the roller coaster scary?
62
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,122
Scary? They make you sign
an organ-donor form
63
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,546
before letting you on.
64
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:41,669
We rode upside down,
holding boiling soups and lawn darts.
65
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,386
And still, not scary.
66
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,887
Here it is, the Halloween season
67
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,183
and we can't find one thing
to scare us.
68
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,813
Perhaps we should give that dentist
69
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,148
who works without Novocaine
another try.
70
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:57,863
In just a few hours, people
will be mistaking me for Juan Valdez.
71
00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:00,569
All right, let me know
what you think and be brutal.
72
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,315
[COUGHS]
73
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,486
- Come on, it can't be that bad.
- You try it.
74
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:11,367
It's fine. Just a little chewy.
75
00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:15,462
It's been decades since
I've enjoyed the sweet taste of terror.
76
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:18,549
Your wait has come to an end,
my fright-craving friend.
77
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:21,636
Suppose the three of us
go to a graveyard,
78
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,963
and I'll read some of the ghost stories
I've written.
79
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,551
The Tales of Salem.
80
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:30,013
See, the mere prospect
paralyses you with fear.
81
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:34,976
No, but your sad little suggestion
gave me an idea.
82
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:38,022
You know who writes stories
that are truly scary?
83
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,070
- Edgar Allan Poe.
- You're right.
84
00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:43,276
Hey, let's make use
of our time-travel clock
85
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,945
and invite him
for a Halloween dinner.
86
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,239
Don't tell me you're scared
by Sissy Pants Poe?
87
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:52,246
Are you implying that the author
of "The Tell-Tale Heart" isn't scary?
88
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,834
His stories are scary because
I gave him all his best ideas.
89
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,250
If it weren't for old Salem,
90
00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,709
you'd be shivering
to "The Tell-Tale Kidney."
91
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,842
Okay, here's the correct way
to bus a table.
92
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,886
First, the trash.
93
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,258
Try to avoid screaming, "Yuck,"
at the top of your lungs.
94
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:12,053
I once saw my vice principal
in his boxer shorts, not a peep.
95
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,428
Next, the mugs.
96
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:17,686
All right, I like to pretend
the half-full ones mean good luck.
97
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:23,282
And then you reach the mother lode.
A whole quarter tip.
98
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,241
You think you can handle that table?
99
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,402
Yeah, just hand me a germ-laden rag
and I'm on it.
100
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,199
Oh, by the way,
I know it's last-minute,
101
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:34,126
but is there any chance you can work
the night shift on Halloween?
102
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,002
While everyone else is goofing off,
103
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,412
I get to make coffee
and wash dirty cups?
104
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,878
- And clean the spill tray.
- All this and minimum wage?
105
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,758
Where go I get my shots?
106
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:46,047
Great news, Hildie.
Edgar Allan Poe R.S.V.P.'d.
107
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,014
We're on our way
to being truly scared.
108
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:52,050
- Ooh. He even wrote it in blood.
- Actually, I think that's red crayon.
109
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,221
Good, there's scary
and there's gross.
110
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,765
Hi, Sabrina,
how's our favourite coffee maker?
111
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:01,144
The correct term is barista.
I love my job.
112
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,731
College kids are so sophisticated.
113
00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:05,823
They talk about art and literature
and foreign films.
114
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:08,827
By the way, who's Jack Kerouac,
what's cubism and can I get a futon?
115
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:10,537
While you're here, give us a hand.
116
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,247
Edgar Allan Poe
is coming for dinner.
117
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,083
We want the house to be
really scary so he'll be comfortable.
118
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,125
I thought the sound of clanking chains
might be nice.
119
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,038
[CHAINS CLANKING]
120
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,621
I was thinking more along the lines
of thunder and lightning.
121
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,792
[THUNDER CRASHING]
122
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,218
- So much for the tool shed.
- Let's get decorating.
123
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,966
It's my turn to hang up the skeleton.
124
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,845
You're dreaming. You always get
to hang up the skeleton.
125
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:35,601
- Well, then, it's tradition. Give me.
- Don't make me separate you two.
126
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,513
What is it about this holiday
that makes people act immature?
127
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:42,107
- Well, she started it.
- The pranks and hokey horror stuff.
128
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,769
You know, lucky for me,
I've got plans for Halloween.
129
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:46,572
I'm gonna be working
at the coffeehouse.
130
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,820
Sabrina, you're a witch.
131
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,617
Witches can't run away
from Halloween.
132
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,577
Watch me.
I'm done will all this kid stuff.
133
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,490
[VOICE MOANING]
134
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:54,910
Okay, that was ominous.
135
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:58,119
- Yeah, and it didn't scare me a bit.
- Me either.
136
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,622
You know, I've been thinking
of revising my will
137
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:05,048
and leaving you
my entire collection of Pez dispensers.
138
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:07,668
- What do you want?
- A ride to the graveyard tonight?
139
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:11,546
- Please?
- No can do. I've gotta work.
140
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,764
[VOICE MOANING]
141
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,928
Oh, that's right.
You've got that nice boss.
142
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,183
Real generous guy.
143
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:20,557
- Thinking of others, giving of himself.
- Your point?
144
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,438
Think he'd give me a ride
to the graveyard?
145
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,363
You know, I'm really surprised
our special pumpkin-flavoured coffee
146
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,610
hasn't been more popular.
147
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,617
Think it has to do with the fact that
it's a hideous shade of orange
148
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,363
and tastes like pumpkin?
149
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:33,865
BOTH:
Trick or treat.
150
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:37,207
- None of the above.
- Great costumes, huh?
151
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:40,293
You wouldn't believe
how hard it was to find ones that fit.
152
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,750
- It's flame-retardant.
- Aren't you old for this?
153
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,330
Not until the city council
passes that law.
154
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,459
Tonight is gonna be a Halloween
for the record books.
155
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,629
We're gonna warm up
by egging Coach Cook's house,
156
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,510
work in a cow tip or two,
and time permitting,
157
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:57,348
wrap things up by streaking across
old Lady Blankenship's front yard.
158
00:07:57,519 --> 00:08:00,521
I'm glad to see you've added subtlety
to your bag of tricks this year.
159
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,525
Harv, why are we standing here?
We should be out there burning poop.
160
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:07,356
I know how you love Tootsie Pops,
so I'll save any I get for you.
161
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,606
Wash your hands first.
162
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,191
Cute kids.
163
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,907
I guess that's what happens
when pregnant women smoke.
164
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,575
Well, I've gotta get to the library
165
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,706
and finish my essay
on Shakespeare's comedies.
166
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,703
I've compared,
now I'm ready to contrast.
167
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,250
Wait, you're gonna
leave me here to run things by myself?
168
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,047
That's why
I asked you to work tonight.
169
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:27,876
I really need someone I can trust.
170
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:30,624
The last guy I left here
rented it out to bikers.
171
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:31,918
How can you can trust me?
172
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,765
I've only worked here one day
and I have very shifty eyes.
173
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,261
I'll only be a couple of hours.
174
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,474
I'll be back in time
to help you close up.
175
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:41,183
But what if someone comes in
and wants to order something?
176
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,731
You give it to them?
177
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:45,472
I promise you Halloween night here
is so easy.
178
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,479
The place is a morgue.
179
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,189
[VOICE MOANING]
180
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,571
Josh was right. I can handle this.
181
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,029
And he's depending on me.
182
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,287
[VOICE MOANING]
183
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,997
- And that's not scary.
ZELDA: You're a witch, Sabrina.
184
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,044
You can't run away from Halloween.
185
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,123
And that's just the onset of senility.
186
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:14,794
- May I help you?
- I wanna chop you up in little pieces.
187
00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:18,342
- You want what?
- I want a cup of coffee.
188
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,856
Okay, I'm just letting my imagination
get the best of me.
189
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,357
But if I turn around and he's got an axe,
he loses the benefit of the doubt.
190
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:32,610
Okay, well would you like to join
our Biscotti of the Month Club?
191
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,569
I don't think I'll be back.
192
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,661
This coffee's so strong,
it could wake the dead.
193
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,823
[VOICE MOANING]
194
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,880
"Wake the dead."
What was that guy talking about?
195
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,799
I mean, this batch was almost liquid.
196
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,142
See? Everything is fine.
197
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:12,770
So far I've served five or six people
and not a single attempt on my life.
198
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:13,979
[TRAY CLATTERS]
199
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,482
Aah! Okay, calm down.
200
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,652
It's just the muffin tray.
Muffins are not scary.
201
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,322
They're fat-free.
202
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,452
I'm gonna die!
203
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,166
Hi, Dreama.
204
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:33,716
- Hilda, I'd like you to meet Mr. Poe.
- It's such a pleasure to meet you.
205
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,594
Thanks for the ride.
206
00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:41,721
That voice, it's so scary.
May I take your cape?
207
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:46,638
- No garment could be scarier.
- This is the stuff of nightmares.
208
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,394
The only thing scary about that cape
209
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,237
is that he died in it
and never had it cleaned.
210
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,860
Well, if no one wants to listen
to my horror stories,
211
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:59,650
I'll just go shred
some beloved sweaters.
212
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,663
[CHATTERING]
213
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:08,252
Apparently an AA meeting just let out.
Mind giving me a hand here?
214
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,793
I've never really made
a cappuccino before.
215
00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:14,333
Well, that's where good old-fashioned
American ingenuity comes in handy.
216
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,548
Okay, and a little magic.
217
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:21,087
Frothy milk, nice and hot-tay
Whip me up two low-fat lattes
218
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,050
[IMITATES MILK FROTHING]
219
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,594
Okay. There you go.
220
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,478
[ALL GROANING]
221
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,490
There you are.
222
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,655
Listen, Zelda forgot to pick up
223
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,156
the one thing that will make
Edgar Allan Poe feel at home.
224
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,792
An open bar?
225
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,502
- A black cat.
- Forget it.
226
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:53,243
Fine, then I'll go with
my second choice.
227
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:57,923
Quoth the raven, "Bite me."
228
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,216
- Finally, we get a moment to relax.
- I know.
229
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,468
You know, I have to admit,
230
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,348
before you got here,
I was feeling sort of...
231
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,261
[THUNDER CRASHING]
232
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,432
Afraid.
233
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,569
There's nothing to be afraid of.
It's just a severe thunderstorm.
234
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,777
On a calm, cloud-free evening.
235
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,107
This has nothing to do with my aunts
trying to warn me
236
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:22,363
that I couldn't avoid Halloween?
237
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,566
[VOICE MOANING]
238
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:25,903
- Stop that.
- I thought that was my stomach.
239
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:30,077
What kind of people go out for coffee
in weather like this?
240
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,659
[ALL GROANING]
241
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,665
The flesh-eating zombie kind.
242
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,839
[BOTH SCREAMING]
243
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,460
Mmm. Oh.
244
00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:46,138
Ladies, that was the best meal
I've had in years.
245
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,681
In the afterlife,
they don't cook with salt.
246
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:53,222
Can you believe
how much roast beef he ate?
247
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:56,899
Talk about "The Pig
and the Pendulum." And four desserts.
248
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,861
That'll teach you
to serve rum cake.
249
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:02,197
Still, we're lucky to have
the scariest writer of all time
250
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,194
as our Halloween guest.
251
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:08,612
Mr. Poe, would this be a good time
for you to read us a story?
252
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,450
Absolutely.
253
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,997
If you don't mind,
I'd like to read something new.
254
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,456
[SCREAMS]
255
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,079
I'm just practising.
256
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:19,333
[ZOMBIES GROANING]
257
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,468
I don't think that lock was built
258
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,380
to withstand an onslaught
from the undead.
259
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,881
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
260
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,514
Wait a minute, we're witches.
261
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,513
I don't feel like visiting
With corpses today
262
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:34,261
Please make those zombies
Go away
263
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:38,443
Uh-oh. We have to get rid of them
the old-fashioned way.
264
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,019
- What's that?
- Help, help, help!
265
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:46,283
[THUNDER RUMBLING
AND CHAINS CLANKING]
266
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,112
Would you mind
turning down your thunder?
267
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:50,245
If you turn down
your clanking chains.
268
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:51,577
[RUMBLING
AND CLANKING STOP]
269
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,075
Very well.
A poem by Edgar Allan Po--
270
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,960
[PHONE RINGING]
271
00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:57,789
What is that ringing?
272
00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,542
A telephone.
273
00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:02,123
That's how we communicate
these days.
274
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:04,129
Haven't you people
ever heard of e-mail?
275
00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:07,589
Salem, get the phone.
Go ahead, curdle our blood.
276
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:09,641
[COUGHS AND SPITS]
277
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,185
[PHONE RINGING]
278
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,641
"Salem, we're too busy
being scared out of our wits
279
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,684
to answer the phone." Hello?
280
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,352
Salem, exactly what did
my aunts mean
281
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,566
when they said
that I couldn't avoid Halloween?
282
00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:23,144
- I'm fine, how are you?
- Salem.
283
00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:26,027
If you run away from Halloween,
Halloween will find you.
284
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,027
And it won't be happy.
285
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,782
Ugh! And once
Halloween has found you,
286
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,331
how do you get it to un-find you?
287
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,076
That'll require research.
288
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,208
Do it, and hurry.
289
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:43,088
Right, like I got nothing better to do
than save your anti-Halloween butt.
290
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,172
[ZOMBIES GROANING]
291
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,092
Of all the ways to go,
death by zombie?
292
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,009
I can't bear to look.
293
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:55,844
What are they doing?
Are they clawing at our flesh?
294
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,150
Actually, they're having a party.
295
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:02,399
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
296
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,785
[SCREAMS]
297
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:34,758
[SCREAMS]
298
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,884
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
299
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,769
[ZOMBIES GROANING]
300
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,944
I am so fired.
Josh is gonna be back any second
301
00:16:30,115 --> 00:16:32,405
and I'm pretty sure zombies
are messier than bikers.
302
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:34,783
[PHONE RINGING]
303
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,746
Excuse me. Ugh!
304
00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:38,623
Sorry.
305
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,372
Eck! Just because
their bodies are rotting
306
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:44,082
doesn't mean they can't shower
once in awhile.
307
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,999
- Hello?
SALEM: Here's the deal.
308
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,454
To get out of your predicament,
309
00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:49,840
you have to experience the fun
of Halloween.
310
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:53,178
Fun? I'm up to my arms in arms.
311
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,424
If I may suggest some fun,
312
00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:59,598
think of a trip to the graveyard
to listen to Salem's horror stories.
313
00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:00,850
[DIAL TONE]
314
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,350
Hello?
315
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:03,763
[ZOMBIES GROANING]
316
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,899
What fresh hell is this?
317
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,444
You don't understand.
318
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,569
My boss trusted me
to keep an eye on this place
319
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:12,610
and if he comes back
and it's not-- Ow!
320
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,614
This happens when you try to reason
with someone who's decaying.
321
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,235
ZOMBIE:
Toilet paper.
322
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:20,824
Oh, great, just what I need.
More Halloween fun.
323
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,373
- Wait, that is what I need.
HARVEY: Brad, give me another roll.
324
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:24,707
DREAMA:
It's Harvey and Brad.
325
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,038
Harvey, quit tp'ing
the Christian Science Reading Room
326
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,330
and get over here.
327
00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:31,717
Interesting clientele.
328
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,460
What's that smell?
329
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:36,430
This is our last year
we can trick-or-treat.
330
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:37,928
So let's make it count.
331
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:41,268
Gee, Sabrina, we thought
you were too mature for Halloween.
332
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,311
- Stop talking and start tp'ing.
BRAD: Okay.
333
00:18:04,877 --> 00:18:06,669
- They're leaving.
- Woo-hoo! We broke the spell.
334
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:09,830
Oh, wait, who forgot their foot?
335
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,086
What did I tell you
about Sabrina's pranks?
336
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,834
Her family takes Halloween
very seriously.
337
00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:17,757
And you keep telling me
they're not weird.
338
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:19,839
Harvey, you were right.
339
00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:21,761
Why not just loosen up
and enjoy Halloween?
340
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:24,427
As long as little kids
aren't making fun of us to our faces.
341
00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:27,061
You're the best.
342
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:34,062
"I love you enough to let you walk.
But I love you too much to let you run.
343
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:38,618
But you don't want to walk.
You want to run.
344
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,530
Let's skip.
345
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:43,161
- Part 17."
- Excuse me, Mr. Poe?
346
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:44,412
I don't mean to interrupt,
347
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:48,119
but we thought that you were going
to read us something less dull.
348
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,917
She means something scary.
349
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:54,590
Horror?
I haven't done that tripe in years.
350
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:58,094
There's a much bigger market
in inspirational writing.
351
00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,344
Is that what this is?
352
00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:01,757
Hilda, he's our guest.
We have to be polite.
353
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:06,182
"Rainbows and sparkles,
kittens in a box."
354
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:08,313
He's going down.
355
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:11,270
See you guys later.
And don't let all the crickets loose
356
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,603
in Mr. Kraft's house till I get there.
357
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:17,571
Okay, a quick clean-up
and I'm home free.
358
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,861
So I don't get fired
And take a lot of flack
359
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:21,910
- Help me clean up before my boss--
JOSH: Sabrina?
360
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:24,329
Oh. Josh, hi.
361
00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:27,369
What happened to this place?
Look at all this toilet paper.
362
00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:28,954
You wouldn't believe how many kids
363
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,753
came dressed as Mr. Whipple
this year.
364
00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:33,044
I'm sorry.
365
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,043
I know it's easy to get behind
on your bussing
366
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:38,634
- when you're the only one here, but...
- Am I fired?
367
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:41,640
I mean, I know I have to clean up
and all, but after that, am I fired?
368
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:45,435
Well, it is Halloween.
People should have fun.
369
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,268
And we are insured.
370
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:49,815
Hey, what's that?
371
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:51,145
I don't see any--
372
00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:52,849
[SCREAMS]
373
00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:57,607
Wow, I guess this was worth 14.95.
Are you okay?
374
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,613
As soon as my heart
starts beating again, I'll be swell.
375
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:04,280
Well, I heard you like them,
so I brought you a Tootsie Pop.
376
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,915
Thanks.
377
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,282
So really, I'm not fired?
378
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:12,875
"Though she screamed
as loud as she could,
379
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,791
not a sound could be heard,
380
00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:19,924
for the water slowly
but inexorably rose over her face."
381
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:21,425
Poor Salem, he was so determined
382
00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:23,839
to read his stores
whether anyone listened or not.
383
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:27,717
"Until at last, she was no more."
384
00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:29,687
The end.
385
00:20:32,191 --> 00:20:35,607
See, I told you they were scary.
386
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:38,020
My first mortal Halloween.
I had such a great time.
387
00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:41,364
- Yeah, it was fun.
- Your boss, Josh, he's great.
388
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:43,361
There's one thing
that bothers me about him.
389
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:46,786
- What?
- I have a huge crush on him.
390
00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:52,832
[THUNDER CRASHING]
391
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:57,713
So, what is it we learned
in this week's episode?
392
00:20:57,883 --> 00:21:02,297
That, try as you may,
you cannot run away from Halloween.
393
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:03,752
That you never really know
394
00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:07,632
what lurks beneath
your neighbourhood sewer grate.
395
00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:12,223
And that those zombies
were really scary.
396
00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:14,014
[GASPS]
397
00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:17,562
Oh, right, my coffee.
398
00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:20,227
Hey, where's my biscotti?
399
00:21:20,277 --> 00:21:24,827
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