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1
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You know them as Denise
Parks and Veronica Grant,
2
00:00:04,770 --> 00:00:06,537
television's "Mystery Girls."
3
00:00:06,572 --> 00:00:08,473
Well, now years after the show ended,
4
00:00:08,507 --> 00:00:10,808
Holly Hamilton and
Charlie Contour are back.
5
00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:12,643
This time as real life detectives.
6
00:00:12,711 --> 00:00:14,645
And, ladies, thanks so much
for sitting down with "E.T."
7
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,781
It's our pleasure.
8
00:00:16,815 --> 00:00:18,349
Uh, it's okay to look this way.
9
00:00:18,383 --> 00:00:19,350
You can look towards the camera.
10
00:00:19,384 --> 00:00:22,353
Mm-mm. No.
11
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:23,888
What are you doing?
12
00:00:23,922 --> 00:00:25,923
This is my good side.
13
00:00:25,957 --> 00:00:28,859
I thought your left
side was your good side.
14
00:00:28,894 --> 00:00:30,995
It was, but now my right's my good side.
15
00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:32,630
Your good sides don't change.
16
00:00:32,664 --> 00:00:34,799
- Mine did.
- When?
17
00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:36,567
March, 2008.
18
00:00:37,969 --> 00:00:41,038
So, you went a long time without speaking.
19
00:00:41,073 --> 00:00:42,973
What finally brought you two back together?
20
00:00:43,008 --> 00:00:45,976
Well, it was actually our
current assistant Nick.
21
00:00:47,012 --> 00:00:48,713
Oh, he should join us.
22
00:00:48,747 --> 00:00:49,780
- No, that's okay.
- Nick.
23
00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:50,781
I'd love to!
24
00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:53,884
Thank you for having me, Nancy.
25
00:00:53,919 --> 00:00:54,885
Of course.
26
00:00:56,888 --> 00:00:58,689
What are you doing now?
27
00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:01,726
My right side is also my good side.
28
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:02,960
Okay, you two are obviously insane,
29
00:01:02,994 --> 00:01:04,528
so I will handle this.
30
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,597
It all started a couple of months ago,
31
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:07,898
in the suburbs.
32
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:11,602
- (Theme music playing)
- Hey, "Mystery Girls" rerun.
33
00:01:14,806 --> 00:01:16,907
Both: Mystery solved.
34
00:01:16,942 --> 00:01:18,609
Honey, turn that off.
35
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:21,579
I don't like to watch my
boobs jiggle in slow motion.
36
00:01:21,613 --> 00:01:22,880
No, I can't.
37
00:01:22,914 --> 00:01:25,616
You look so hot I'm physically incapable
38
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:26,650
of changing the channel.
39
00:01:27,853 --> 00:01:29,653
I can't believe you used to be cool.
40
00:01:29,688 --> 00:01:31,889
Hey, I'm still cool.
41
00:01:31,923 --> 00:01:34,759
I listen to Miley while I clean the oven.
42
00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:37,027
What's that other lady up to these days?
43
00:01:37,062 --> 00:01:40,664
I told you, I don't like to talk about her
44
00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:42,600
because she is completely whackadoo.
45
00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:44,802
Although I wish her well
46
00:01:44,836 --> 00:01:48,038
and I'm sure she is doing great.
47
00:01:48,073 --> 00:01:49,940
(Theme music playing)
48
00:01:49,975 --> 00:01:52,576
I used to be famous!
49
00:01:52,611 --> 00:01:54,578
(Weeping)
50
00:01:56,982 --> 00:01:58,949
(Theme music playing)
51
00:02:17,118 --> 00:02:19,086
Oh, my God, is that Holly Hamilton,
52
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,056
star of "Mystery Girls"...
biggest show of the '90s?
53
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,061
March, 1995.
54
00:02:27,095 --> 00:02:30,931
Holly, you have been reading
the same magazine for years.
55
00:02:30,966 --> 00:02:32,933
Let it go!
56
00:02:32,968 --> 00:02:35,135
You let it go! Let my "people" go.
57
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,975
Mom, we can't keep giving
the best table in the house
58
00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:43,811
to someone who was on
"Celebrity Beekeeper."
59
00:02:43,845 --> 00:02:48,816
Excuse me, someone who
won "Celebrity Beekeeper."
60
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,918
Oh, God, that's even worse.
61
00:02:50,952 --> 00:02:52,186
You can have your precious table anyway.
62
00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:54,788
I gotta get going. LAPD called,
63
00:02:54,823 --> 00:02:56,790
they asked me to come down to the station.
64
00:02:56,825 --> 00:02:57,992
- Why?
- Wouldn't say.
65
00:02:58,026 --> 00:02:59,827
Probably need me to
solve a mystery for 'em.
66
00:02:59,861 --> 00:03:01,962
Um, you realize you weren't
a real detective, right?
67
00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:05,799
Over 150 episodes of solving mysteries,
68
00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:06,834
I might as well have been.
69
00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:12,706
Hey hey hey hey hey!
70
00:03:12,741 --> 00:03:14,708
Oh!
71
00:03:14,743 --> 00:03:16,110
Where do you think you're going?
72
00:03:16,144 --> 00:03:18,712
Go sit back down with
the rest of the hookers.
73
00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:22,850
I am a famous person.
74
00:03:22,884 --> 00:03:24,752
I'm here to see a Detective Duane Freeman.
75
00:03:24,786 --> 00:03:26,020
Oh. (Chuckles)
76
00:03:26,054 --> 00:03:27,021
He's over there.
77
00:03:34,162 --> 00:03:35,796
(Clears throat)
78
00:03:38,133 --> 00:03:41,101
Guys, one of your hookers got loose.
79
00:03:41,136 --> 00:03:43,037
I am not a hooker.
80
00:03:43,071 --> 00:03:45,172
Although I did play one in
the lifetime original movie
81
00:03:45,206 --> 00:03:47,007
"I am a hooker."
82
00:03:48,743 --> 00:03:49,943
I'm Holly Hamilton.
83
00:03:49,978 --> 00:03:53,047
Oh, right, sorry. Please, sit.
84
00:03:53,081 --> 00:03:54,114
(Quietly) Oh, thanks.
85
00:03:57,118 --> 00:04:00,721
Is this because I keyed Reese
Witherspoon's car last week?
86
00:04:00,755 --> 00:04:02,890
No, but we should probably...
87
00:04:02,924 --> 00:04:06,894
Good, never mind. You were saying?
88
00:04:06,928 --> 00:04:09,129
Well, I know this is
gonna sound a little crazy.
89
00:04:09,164 --> 00:04:11,065
We actually need your help with a case.
90
00:04:11,099 --> 00:04:12,666
(Gasps) I knew it!
91
00:04:15,136 --> 00:04:16,904
I'm gonna need all your files on this case.
92
00:04:16,938 --> 00:04:19,039
Any evidence... blood, fiber, semen...
93
00:04:19,074 --> 00:04:20,040
lay it on me.
94
00:04:20,075 --> 00:04:22,042
Well, not on me.
95
00:04:22,077 --> 00:04:23,110
But next to me, here on the desk.
96
00:04:23,144 --> 00:04:25,772
Away from my face and hair if you can.
97
00:04:27,709 --> 00:04:28,742
I think you're confused.
98
00:04:28,776 --> 00:04:30,978
Impossible, but go on.
99
00:04:31,012 --> 00:04:32,980
A big time mafia boss was killed
100
00:04:33,014 --> 00:04:34,148
in the Hollywood hills yesterday.
101
00:04:34,182 --> 00:04:36,150
I'm confused.
102
00:04:36,184 --> 00:04:39,686
We have one witness, but
he refuses to talk to us.
103
00:04:39,721 --> 00:04:41,021
I threatened to put him
in jail, he didn't care.
104
00:04:41,055 --> 00:04:43,957
Said he'd only give his
statement to the Mystery Girls.
105
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:47,060
Ooh, well, where is this
human with impeccable taste?
106
00:04:47,095 --> 00:04:48,795
- (Shrieks)
- (Guns cock)
107
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,098
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
108
00:04:51,132 --> 00:04:53,734
Mystery Girl, Denise Parks...
109
00:04:53,768 --> 00:04:55,936
I love you.
110
00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:56,937
(Gasps)
111
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,040
(Sighs)
112
00:05:02,744 --> 00:05:04,778
I didn't realize I had such young fans.
113
00:05:04,812 --> 00:05:06,880
Were you even alive when
"Mystery Girls" was on?
114
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,015
No.
115
00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:10,851
But I found the DVDs in a
dumpster behind a gay bar
116
00:05:10,885 --> 00:05:13,754
when I was 14 and I've
been obsessed ever since.
117
00:05:13,788 --> 00:05:15,656
(Gasps, mutters)
118
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,090
Wow.
119
00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:19,760
Your 14 and my 14 were really different.
120
00:05:21,095 --> 00:05:23,730
She's here. Start talking.
121
00:05:23,765 --> 00:05:25,832
That's right. Start talking.
122
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,701
Can I have a gun for this?
123
00:05:27,735 --> 00:05:29,736
You can't even have a pen.
124
00:05:31,172 --> 00:05:33,707
Um, the deal was for both Mystery Girls.
125
00:05:33,741 --> 00:05:35,976
(Scoffs) Yeah, right.
126
00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:38,011
Well, I hate to burst your rainbow bubble,
127
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,013
but Charlie's lived in
the suburbs for years.
128
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,082
Good luck getting her fat ass here.
129
00:05:42,116 --> 00:05:44,918
- (Shrieks)
- (Guns cock)
130
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,119
The fat ass is here.
131
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:48,922
Let her in, boys.
132
00:05:51,192 --> 00:05:54,161
I see you're still using
more makeup than a geisha.
133
00:05:56,164 --> 00:05:57,831
I see that maternity jeans
134
00:05:57,865 --> 00:05:59,866
aren't just for pregnant women anymore.
135
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:02,869
Oh, my God.
136
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,972
The Mystery Girls, together again.
137
00:06:05,006 --> 00:06:07,941
It's like my own private
episode before my very eyes.
138
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:10,811
Who is this and why is
he louder than his outfit?
139
00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:15,916
Nick Diaz, I'm your biggest fan.
140
00:06:15,950 --> 00:06:16,917
Oh.
141
00:06:18,686 --> 00:06:19,686
Why is she here?
142
00:06:19,721 --> 00:06:20,988
Official police business.
143
00:06:21,022 --> 00:06:23,757
That's all I can say at the moment.
144
00:06:23,791 --> 00:06:25,759
I asked you both down here because Mr. Diaz
145
00:06:25,793 --> 00:06:27,094
witnessed a crime yesterday.
146
00:06:27,128 --> 00:06:30,097
Said he'd only give his
statement to the Mystery Girls.
147
00:06:30,131 --> 00:06:32,899
Good, I'm glad we're all living in reality.
148
00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:35,135
Let's hear it.
149
00:06:35,169 --> 00:06:36,903
(Inhales deeply)
150
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,006
Okay, so I just moved
to Los Angeles last week,
151
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,107
and I was like,
152
00:06:40,141 --> 00:06:42,709
"hmm, I obviously need to go on a star tour
153
00:06:42,744 --> 00:06:45,145
because I'm from Ohio and it's
not like I'm gonna see Lady Gaga
154
00:06:45,179 --> 00:06:46,780
at a Denny's in Toledo."
155
00:06:46,814 --> 00:06:47,981
Or any Denny's.
156
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,717
Right? So, I'm on the bus,
157
00:06:50,752 --> 00:06:52,819
we all stop to take pictures
with Katy Perry's mailbox
158
00:06:52,854 --> 00:06:54,688
when I really had to go pee.
159
00:06:54,722 --> 00:06:56,023
Oh, those are long tours.
160
00:06:56,057 --> 00:06:58,025
Probably why they don't have
time to drive by my house.
161
00:06:58,059 --> 00:06:59,760
Oh! Oh.
162
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,062
I have a husband, a kid and three episodes
163
00:07:02,096 --> 00:07:03,830
of "Toddlers and Tiaras" on my DVR,
164
00:07:03,865 --> 00:07:04,865
get to the point.
165
00:07:04,899 --> 00:07:06,833
Right, so... so I start peeing,
166
00:07:06,868 --> 00:07:08,769
then I see one guy shoot
another guy in the head.
167
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,637
- What?
- I know, right?
168
00:07:10,672 --> 00:07:13,674
I've always thought, "wouldn't it
be amazing to witness a murder?"
169
00:07:13,708 --> 00:07:15,842
Then I could give my
statement to the Mystery Girls.
170
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:20,013
How lucky am I?!
171
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,648
So lucky.
172
00:07:21,683 --> 00:07:22,716
Right?
173
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,754
What did he look like?
174
00:07:27,789 --> 00:07:29,122
Uh, I didn't see his face,
175
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,725
but he had on a trench
coat and a fedora, though.
176
00:07:31,759 --> 00:07:34,661
Oh, great. So we're looking
for McGruff, the crime dog.
177
00:07:36,097 --> 00:07:39,766
Nick, honey, did you notice
anything about this trench coat?
178
00:07:39,801 --> 00:07:41,668
Um, I noticed everything
about the trench coat.
179
00:07:41,703 --> 00:07:44,805
It was cotton twill, classic
double-breasted, with epaulettes
180
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,740
and adjustable belted wrists.
181
00:07:46,774 --> 00:07:49,009
Looks like a Prada sport trench
from this year's collection.
182
00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:50,143
- Yes, that's it.
- That's it.
183
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,812
Retails for $1,700.
184
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:52,946
Call around to some high-end stores...
185
00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:55,682
Neimans, Barneys...
you might find your man.
186
00:07:55,717 --> 00:07:57,784
You know, he could have
bought it on the Internet.
187
00:07:57,819 --> 00:07:59,786
Oh, the Internet!
188
00:07:59,821 --> 00:08:01,088
Last time we solved a case,
189
00:08:01,122 --> 00:08:04,991
the Internet hadn't been invented yet.
190
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,093
Are we done here?
191
00:08:06,127 --> 00:08:08,028
Yeah, I think I have enough to go on.
192
00:08:08,062 --> 00:08:09,730
Thanks for doing this, ladies.
193
00:08:09,764 --> 00:08:12,748
Not ladies, girls.
194
00:08:12,782 --> 00:08:14,650
Mystery Girls.
195
00:08:16,786 --> 00:08:18,086
- Wait, is that it?
- Uh, yeah.
196
00:08:18,121 --> 00:08:20,789
Oh, no, no, no. Come have
a drink with me at plush.
197
00:08:20,823 --> 00:08:22,958
(Chuckles) Last time we
were there, you threw a drink
198
00:08:22,992 --> 00:08:24,760
at Alyssa Milano's head.
199
00:08:24,794 --> 00:08:26,762
Exactly, wasn't that fun? Come on.
200
00:08:36,773 --> 00:08:38,774
I thought this would be funner.
201
00:08:38,808 --> 00:08:40,709
More fun? Funner?
202
00:08:40,743 --> 00:08:41,710
Which is it?
203
00:08:45,715 --> 00:08:46,748
Not fun.
204
00:08:49,995 --> 00:08:50,863
Look over here for a second.
205
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:52,267
- Selfie!
- No... I...
206
00:08:52,302 --> 00:08:55,904
Oh, this is gonna get so
much action on Twitter.
207
00:08:55,939 --> 00:08:58,874
Hashtag, "Mystery Girls Reunion."
208
00:08:58,908 --> 00:09:01,143
The "Mystery Girls" ship has sailed.
209
00:09:01,177 --> 00:09:02,811
Aren't you busy enough?
210
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:06,181
What happened to your, uh, bra line on QVC?
211
00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:09,051
You know what happened.
212
00:09:09,085 --> 00:09:10,185
They were defective.
213
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:12,921
I had to pay for 2,000
nipple reconstructions.
214
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:15,924
Including my own.
215
00:09:18,027 --> 00:09:20,963
So excuse me if I long for the
days of "the Mystery Girls."
216
00:09:20,997 --> 00:09:22,865
Well, excuse me if I don't.
217
00:09:22,899 --> 00:09:25,200
Did you notice how amazing
we were at questioning Nick?
218
00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:26,902
We should be Mystery Girls again.
219
00:09:26,936 --> 00:09:28,270
They're not gonna bring
back the show, Holly.
220
00:09:28,304 --> 00:09:31,039
No, Real Mystery Girls.
221
00:09:31,074 --> 00:09:33,142
"Real Mystery Girls"?
222
00:09:34,844 --> 00:09:36,245
I'll see you in another 14 years.
223
00:09:36,279 --> 00:09:38,113
This is our destiny!
224
00:09:38,148 --> 00:09:41,250
The journey ends here.
All roads have led to this.
225
00:09:44,287 --> 00:09:46,855
Stop talking like we're
in "Lord of the Rings."
226
00:09:48,057 --> 00:09:49,291
You owe me.
227
00:09:49,325 --> 00:09:51,860
You left the show to have, like, 80 kids
228
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:53,128
and ruined everything.
229
00:09:53,363 --> 00:09:55,964
I ruined everything?
230
00:09:55,999 --> 00:09:57,900
You said you were leaving to do a movie.
231
00:09:57,934 --> 00:10:00,903
Well, I didn't know Shannen Doherty
was gonna steal that role from me.
232
00:10:02,238 --> 00:10:06,875
Right, like you could have
played a better Mother Teresa.
233
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,877
We are opening a detective agency,
234
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,045
we are calling it Mystery Girls,
235
00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:12,014
- done.
- Do it by yourself.
236
00:10:12,048 --> 00:10:13,015
(Gasps)
237
00:10:14,284 --> 00:10:16,251
Okay, that is a slight overreaction.
238
00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:18,086
It's the guy. Over there.
239
00:10:19,255 --> 00:10:20,889
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
240
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,090
What? Look, would you calm down?
241
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,158
I'm sure that's not him.
242
00:10:23,193 --> 00:10:24,193
No, not that.
243
00:10:24,227 --> 00:10:26,295
Our selfie already has 500 retweets.
244
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:31,967
Okay, I will go over,
245
00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:33,969
pretend to be his waitress,
ask him some questions,
246
00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:35,037
do a little investigating.
247
00:10:35,071 --> 00:10:36,205
Then will you get off my back?
248
00:10:36,239 --> 00:10:39,241
Oh, my God. We are totes
living in "Mystery Girls."
249
00:10:39,275 --> 00:10:41,210
Don't say "totes."
250
00:10:41,244 --> 00:10:44,079
In fact, don't do anything.
Just stand over there.
251
00:10:44,113 --> 00:10:46,114
I'm just gonna hide behind this plant.
252
00:10:50,386 --> 00:10:52,221
I thought you were gonna
stand behind the plant.
253
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:53,288
I am.
254
00:10:57,327 --> 00:10:59,328
Hi, can I start you off with something?
255
00:10:59,362 --> 00:11:02,030
Red wine. Anything from California.
256
00:11:02,065 --> 00:11:05,033
California, that's where
the murder happened.
257
00:11:05,068 --> 00:11:06,301
What?
258
00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:08,003
We have some lovely specials.
259
00:11:08,037 --> 00:11:09,938
Ask about the jacket.
260
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,206
Great jacket. Gucci?
261
00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:12,241
Prada.
262
00:11:12,275 --> 00:11:15,077
Mystery...
263
00:11:15,111 --> 00:11:16,178
solved!
264
00:11:16,212 --> 00:11:17,879
You carry around handcuffs?
265
00:11:17,914 --> 00:11:19,948
Duh, of course I do.
266
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,116
- Hey hey.
- Whoo!
267
00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:22,284
(Man grunts)
268
00:11:24,087 --> 00:11:25,220
Who are you guys?
269
00:11:25,255 --> 00:11:26,221
We're...
270
00:11:26,256 --> 00:11:28,290
The Mystery Girls.
271
00:11:28,324 --> 00:11:30,058
No, we're not.
272
00:11:31,194 --> 00:11:34,029
Oh, clothing, diamond necklaces,
273
00:11:34,063 --> 00:11:36,198
wait, all the tags and alarms are on.
274
00:11:36,232 --> 00:11:37,899
Oh, no.
275
00:11:37,934 --> 00:11:42,104
Dammit! He's just a shoplifter.
276
00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:44,139
Ooh, although shoplifters can be murderers,
277
00:11:44,173 --> 00:11:45,307
right?
278
00:11:45,341 --> 00:11:47,876
Ah, I think I pulled a hamstring.
279
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:49,044
I'm from TMZ.
280
00:11:50,313 --> 00:11:51,313
This is great.
281
00:11:51,347 --> 00:11:53,915
Mystery solved!
282
00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:54,916
(In between teeth) Smile.
283
00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:58,920
Do we get a reward?
284
00:11:58,955 --> 00:12:01,823
Well, we're not in the old west, so no.
285
00:12:03,126 --> 00:12:04,126
Thanks for your statements, ladies.
286
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:05,193
I think I have it all.
287
00:12:05,228 --> 00:12:06,828
Can I have my handcuffs back?
288
00:12:06,863 --> 00:12:08,163
Sorry, these are evidence.
289
00:12:08,197 --> 00:12:10,065
And I might have a date tonight.
290
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:13,235
Jeez, who's the thief now?
291
00:12:13,269 --> 00:12:14,936
I heard that.
292
00:12:14,971 --> 00:12:16,104
That's why I said it.
293
00:12:18,141 --> 00:12:20,309
So when are we opening Mystery Girls?
294
00:12:20,343 --> 00:12:21,910
Uh, never.
295
00:12:21,944 --> 00:12:24,012
We just wrongly accused a guy of murder
296
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:25,113
and assaulted him.
297
00:12:25,148 --> 00:12:26,248
We're just rusty.
298
00:12:26,282 --> 00:12:29,851
Rusty? We were never real detectives.
299
00:12:29,886 --> 00:12:31,887
But we were a real team.
300
00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:34,289
Forget about who's responsible
for the show ending.
301
00:12:34,324 --> 00:12:36,024
It was probably you, but...
302
00:12:37,927 --> 00:12:40,128
I miss being friends. Don't
you miss being friends?
303
00:12:40,163 --> 00:12:42,064
Yes, but then I look at this whole thing,
304
00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:44,333
and it just looks like a
desperate bid for attention.
305
00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:47,069
Like how you used to do
our chase scenes braless.
306
00:12:47,103 --> 00:12:49,971
(Gasps) You know I can't run in a bra.
307
00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:51,273
I chafe.
308
00:12:51,307 --> 00:12:54,142
That's right, Holly. It's always about you.
309
00:12:54,177 --> 00:12:55,177
I never mattered.
310
00:12:55,211 --> 00:12:57,145
Well, why should you when you always quit?
311
00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:59,281
- I'm going home.
- Fine.
312
00:12:59,315 --> 00:13:00,882
Go back to boring town.
313
00:13:00,917 --> 00:13:02,084
It's Borington.
314
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,601
Dad, come on, you driving
me to school or what?
315
00:13:08,635 --> 00:13:09,602
Hey.
316
00:13:09,636 --> 00:13:10,636
Sit down with your mom and your dad
317
00:13:10,671 --> 00:13:12,238
and have some breakfast.
318
00:13:12,272 --> 00:13:13,506
You know, like they do in the commercials.
319
00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:17,276
Yeah, since when are you in
such a rush to get to school?
320
00:13:17,311 --> 00:13:19,278
Um, since everyone can't stop talking
321
00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:20,413
about what a badass you are.
322
00:13:20,447 --> 00:13:21,547
Really?
323
00:13:21,581 --> 00:13:24,283
I'm like the most popular kid in school.
324
00:13:24,318 --> 00:13:26,285
Except Sarah Kay, she was on "Teen Mom."
325
00:13:29,318 --> 00:13:30,919
Well, okay, I'm off.
326
00:13:30,953 --> 00:13:32,220
- Ok, babe. Bye.
- Bye. Hey...
327
00:13:32,555 --> 00:13:35,356
Do you still have that box
of headshots in the closet?
328
00:13:35,391 --> 00:13:36,558
Yeah.
329
00:13:36,592 --> 00:13:38,359
Would you sign a couple for me?
330
00:13:38,394 --> 00:13:39,394
The guys at work want some.
331
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:45,567
(Phone ringing)
332
00:13:48,571 --> 00:13:49,604
Mystery Girl.
333
00:13:49,638 --> 00:13:51,673
Oh, hi, Neesa.
334
00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:54,375
No, I thought it was a client.
335
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,277
It's been two weeks and no one calls here
336
00:13:56,312 --> 00:13:58,580
except people looking for phone sex.
337
00:13:58,614 --> 00:14:01,282
I don't know, I feel
like the flyers I hung up
338
00:14:01,317 --> 00:14:02,584
couldn't have been more clear.
339
00:14:02,618 --> 00:14:05,453
"Mystery Girl, give me anything
hard and I'll handle it."
340
00:14:07,423 --> 00:14:09,390
Ooh, a visitor? Be right down.
341
00:14:12,328 --> 00:14:14,295
(Phone ringing)
342
00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:17,565
Mystery Girl.
343
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,434
No, I don't need a spanking!
344
00:14:20,502 --> 00:14:22,470
(Growls) Why?!
345
00:14:28,444 --> 00:14:29,577
Nope.
346
00:14:29,612 --> 00:14:31,479
Holly Hamilton.
347
00:14:31,513 --> 00:14:33,681
You come back here right now.
348
00:14:33,716 --> 00:14:35,552
Sit.
349
00:14:38,255 --> 00:14:40,590
- Speak.
- Stop giving me dog commands.
350
00:14:41,775 --> 00:14:44,644
You two had something special once.
351
00:14:44,678 --> 00:14:46,513
Work it out.
352
00:14:51,552 --> 00:14:55,588
I saw online that you opened up
a Mystery Girls office upstairs.
353
00:14:55,623 --> 00:14:56,723
- Girl.
- What?
354
00:14:56,757 --> 00:14:58,424
It's Mystery Girl
355
00:14:58,459 --> 00:14:59,659
because there's only one girl.
356
00:15:02,263 --> 00:15:03,363
So what are you doing here?
357
00:15:03,397 --> 00:15:05,532
I was craving frozen yogurt
358
00:15:05,566 --> 00:15:07,333
from that place down the block.
359
00:15:07,368 --> 00:15:09,335
Oh, my God, that place is so good.
360
00:15:09,370 --> 00:15:10,403
They totally lie about the calories,
361
00:15:10,437 --> 00:15:11,404
but who cares, right?
362
00:15:11,438 --> 00:15:12,605
Obviously not me.
363
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,574
(Both giggling)
364
00:15:16,343 --> 00:15:17,477
(Clears throat)
365
00:15:20,281 --> 00:15:21,681
Hmm...
366
00:15:21,715 --> 00:15:24,384
Well, good yogurt talk.
367
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,453
Guess you should get going.
368
00:15:27,488 --> 00:15:31,324
Okay, I'm gonna get going.
369
00:15:33,427 --> 00:15:34,494
Okay.
370
00:15:36,297 --> 00:15:37,330
You're a terrible liar.
371
00:15:37,364 --> 00:15:38,431
What?
372
00:15:38,465 --> 00:15:40,366
Just admit why you're here.
373
00:15:40,401 --> 00:15:42,695
Okay, look...
374
00:15:42,697 --> 00:15:45,264
ever since we caught that shoplifter,
375
00:15:45,299 --> 00:15:47,300
I feel like my old self again,
376
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:48,601
like when we used to do the show together.
377
00:15:48,635 --> 00:15:50,703
And I didn't realize how much I missed it,
378
00:15:50,737 --> 00:15:53,372
but I want to do this.
379
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:55,534
What about your family?
380
00:15:55,569 --> 00:15:57,803
Are you kidding? Ever since
that photo of us went viral,
381
00:15:57,838 --> 00:16:00,439
they think I'm the
coolest mom in the world.
382
00:16:01,608 --> 00:16:03,376
Come on, let's do this!
383
00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:05,444
Okay okay, let's give it a shot.
384
00:16:05,479 --> 00:16:06,746
Get off my back, woman.
385
00:16:10,384 --> 00:16:12,518
So what has been your business plan so far?
386
00:16:12,552 --> 00:16:16,422
Be hot, solve mysteries.
387
00:16:16,456 --> 00:16:17,657
Oh, okay, uh, well, that's a great plan,
388
00:16:17,691 --> 00:16:20,326
but I was thinking we should
start with hiring an assistant.
389
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,661
So I took out an ad on Craigslist
390
00:16:21,695 --> 00:16:23,562
and we have a bunch of
interviews in an hour, upstairs.
391
00:16:25,632 --> 00:16:27,566
- What?
- Well...
392
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,769
You want frozen yogurt, don't you?
393
00:16:29,803 --> 00:16:31,303
(Whining) Yeah.
394
00:16:34,708 --> 00:16:36,342
(Elevator dings)
395
00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:37,343
(Gasps)
396
00:16:37,377 --> 00:16:38,377
Oh, my God.
397
00:16:38,412 --> 00:16:39,545
People still love us.
398
00:16:40,781 --> 00:16:42,348
Let us just get settled
399
00:16:42,382 --> 00:16:43,516
and we'll be right with you, okay?
400
00:16:43,550 --> 00:16:44,750
Oh, if you have anything
you want autographed,
401
00:16:44,785 --> 00:16:46,519
please have it out when you walk in.
402
00:16:51,425 --> 00:16:52,758
Wow, this place is incredible.
403
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:55,394
How do you afford a space like this?
404
00:16:55,469 --> 00:16:56,836
Oh, remember the diamond necklaces
405
00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:58,537
that were in the shoplifter's bag?
406
00:17:00,741 --> 00:17:01,674
Yes.
407
00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:03,576
I took 'em.
408
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:04,744
What?
409
00:17:04,778 --> 00:17:06,378
Just kidding.
410
00:17:06,413 --> 00:17:07,646
Except I'm not. I'm serious.
411
00:17:07,681 --> 00:17:09,381
Or am I? Unclear.
412
00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:11,650
Let's just drop it.
413
00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:12,785
Okay.
414
00:17:12,819 --> 00:17:15,321
Um, I'm gonna start some of the interviews.
415
00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:17,423
Yes, I will see them now.
416
00:17:21,661 --> 00:17:22,628
There's nobody out there.
417
00:17:22,662 --> 00:17:24,764
No, why would they all go away?
418
00:17:24,798 --> 00:17:27,399
Because I told them the
job had already been filled.
419
00:17:27,434 --> 00:17:29,401
(Gasps)
420
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:31,704
Oh, God, no.
421
00:17:31,738 --> 00:17:33,572
Ooh, a chaise.
422
00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:35,541
Is this where my desk is?
423
00:17:38,378 --> 00:17:40,446
No, your desk is on the
other side of the balcony.
424
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,680
Jump over, see how you like it.
425
00:17:42,783 --> 00:17:45,384
Oh, come on. I'm fine with it.
426
00:17:45,418 --> 00:17:47,419
He knows every one of
our episodes by heart.
427
00:17:47,454 --> 00:17:51,428
He's practically a third Mystery Girl.
428
00:17:51,462 --> 00:17:52,595
- And he thinks we're fabulous.
- This is fabulous.
429
00:17:54,465 --> 00:17:56,566
No, we have to conduct a proper interview.
430
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,802
(Giggling) Okay, wait, um...
431
00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:01,671
Which of my season three
outfits was your second favorite?
432
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,406
Okay, guys guys, enough.
433
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:07,610
I would like to ask some
real questions, okay?
434
00:18:07,645 --> 00:18:10,480
Um, do you have experience manning phones?
435
00:18:10,514 --> 00:18:11,714
Hello, Nick speaking.
436
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,319
My turn.
437
00:18:16,353 --> 00:18:17,587
- Favorite Sushi roll?
- Wait, no no no.
438
00:18:17,621 --> 00:18:18,655
I'm not done yet.
439
00:18:18,689 --> 00:18:20,757
Have you ever been fired from any jobs?
440
00:18:20,791 --> 00:18:23,460
- Yeah, tons. Spicy salmon.
- Yes!
441
00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:24,761
I will not approve this hire.
442
00:18:24,795 --> 00:18:25,795
Oh, come on.
443
00:18:26,831 --> 00:18:28,798
Please...?
444
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:31,334
I was gonna go back to
Ohio after the murder,
445
00:18:31,368 --> 00:18:32,368
but then I met you guys
446
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,404
and everything was so exciting
447
00:18:34,438 --> 00:18:35,638
and thrilling and electrifying
448
00:18:35,673 --> 00:18:36,706
and titillating...
449
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:37,707
We get it.
450
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,476
And I realized,
451
00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:40,510
why run back home
452
00:18:40,544 --> 00:18:41,544
when I can help the Mystery Girls
453
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,745
clean up this city?
454
00:18:42,780 --> 00:18:44,547
Approved.
455
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,648
Ah, thanks!
456
00:18:45,683 --> 00:18:47,350
(Phone ringing)
457
00:18:48,552 --> 00:18:49,619
Ooh, my first call.
458
00:18:51,655 --> 00:18:53,623
(In deep voice) Hello, Mystery Girls.
459
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:57,794
(Normal voice) Yes, I'd love a spanking.
460
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,741
I reserve the right to fire him.
461
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,309
Or murder him.
462
00:19:13,344 --> 00:19:15,378
No! You can't.
463
00:19:15,412 --> 00:19:17,580
We like the same Sushi
roll. It's meant to be.
464
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:20,650
I just don't see how he's ever going
to become a valued member of this team.
465
00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:22,418
Got our first case.
466
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,520
(Blows)
467
00:19:23,554 --> 00:19:25,588
I thought that was somebody
looking for phone sex.
468
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,423
Yeah, it was.
469
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,592
Then I asked him if he was
calling because he was lonely,
470
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,427
and it turns out someone stole his dog,
471
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,663
a prized show pug, which
I said we'd find for...
472
00:19:33,697 --> 00:19:35,365
$3,000!
473
00:19:35,399 --> 00:19:36,499
Oh! Ah!
474
00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:37,500
Thanks, Nick.
475
00:19:37,535 --> 00:19:39,369
Oh, you truly are
476
00:19:39,403 --> 00:19:41,337
a valued member of this team.
477
00:19:41,372 --> 00:19:43,373
I know, right?
478
00:19:43,407 --> 00:19:44,374
Too soon.
479
00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:50,580
(Sighs)
480
00:19:50,614 --> 00:19:52,649
Okay, well, now that I'm here
481
00:19:52,683 --> 00:19:55,451
I guess it is time to
add an "S" to the sign,
482
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,519
don't you think?
483
00:19:56,554 --> 00:19:59,422
Well, I'm kind of the face of the brand
484
00:19:59,456 --> 00:20:01,691
and people are already
used to it just being "Girl"
485
00:20:01,725 --> 00:20:03,493
so we should probably just leave it.
486
00:20:03,527 --> 00:20:05,495
Order an "S."
487
00:20:05,529 --> 00:20:07,697
I will not order an "S."
488
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,633
'Cause I got one right here.
489
00:20:14,705 --> 00:20:16,539
Now's the part where
you hang it on the wall.
490
00:20:16,574 --> 00:20:17,540
Oh.
491
00:20:28,819 --> 00:20:29,819
We'll get that fixed.
492
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:36,826
Holly, call all the nearby shelters,
see if any pugs have been turned in.
493
00:20:37,008 --> 00:20:38,008
One sec.
494
00:20:38,042 --> 00:20:39,142
After that, go down to the docks.
495
00:20:39,177 --> 00:20:41,244
Sniff around for any black-market pugs.
496
00:20:41,379 --> 00:20:43,346
What docks?
497
00:20:43,381 --> 00:20:45,115
Just do it.
498
00:20:45,149 --> 00:20:47,083
Okay, I will.
499
00:20:47,118 --> 00:20:49,452
Wait, can you just give me
a hint where these docks are?
500
00:20:49,487 --> 00:20:51,154
Maybe you could find them
501
00:20:51,188 --> 00:20:52,555
if you would stop online
shopping for a second.
502
00:20:52,590 --> 00:20:55,191
I can't find the office cocktail shaker.
503
00:20:55,226 --> 00:20:56,293
Do you want a new one or not?
504
00:20:56,327 --> 00:20:59,362
Oh, yeah, I want a cocktail shaker.
505
00:20:59,397 --> 00:21:01,097
Have it overnighted.
506
00:21:01,132 --> 00:21:03,066
Cocktails on the veranda?
507
00:21:05,236 --> 00:21:07,037
Both: Mystery solved.
508
00:21:08,506 --> 00:21:10,507
Ooh, I only made two.
509
00:21:12,508 --> 00:21:16,629
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510
00:21:16,679 --> 00:21:21,229
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