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1
00:00:01,673 --> 00:00:05,506
Behold Octomom the Voodoo Doll.
2
00:00:05,541 --> 00:00:07,176
Not bad, considering.
3
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:09,978
I would dominate on "Project Runway."
4
00:00:10,012 --> 00:00:11,813
Stick it in her ankle.
5
00:00:11,847 --> 00:00:15,183
Nothing permanent. Just enough to
take her out of the competition.
6
00:00:15,218 --> 00:00:19,320
I'm afraid to even ask, but what
are you fools doing over there?
7
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,634
They're casting "Dancing with the Stars."
8
00:00:21,668 --> 00:00:25,626
The final spot is between me and Octomom.
9
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,678
Delivery for Holly Hamilton.
10
00:00:27,712 --> 00:00:30,214
Ooh, my office supplies.
11
00:00:30,248 --> 00:00:31,959
Oh, good. Did you order more toner?
12
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,517
Better.
13
00:00:34,352 --> 00:00:36,220
(Gasps)
14
00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:41,192
I need a boy's opinion.
What do you think, Joe?
15
00:00:41,226 --> 00:00:43,494
I think maybe you should
wear 'em on a date with me.
16
00:00:43,528 --> 00:00:46,997
See? These office supplies
are already working.
17
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:50,434
- Okay, what's your sign?
- Aries.
18
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,203
Ooh, pass.
19
00:00:52,237 --> 00:00:54,571
My psychic says I can't
go out with fire signs.
20
00:00:54,606 --> 00:00:56,139
I might get burned.
21
00:00:56,575 --> 00:00:59,209
Does she charge extra for puns?
22
00:00:59,678 --> 00:01:01,478
Eh, it was worth a shot.
23
00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:07,585
You turned him down?
24
00:01:07,619 --> 00:01:09,921
I would totally call him
25
00:01:09,955 --> 00:01:13,224
when I absolutely, positively
needed it overnight.
26
00:01:13,258 --> 00:01:15,459
Nick, that falls under
"Inappropriate Office Banter."
27
00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:16,393
Put a dollar in the can.
28
00:01:16,428 --> 00:01:18,596
- (Stammers)
- Go, go, go.
29
00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,832
And you... I can't believe
you just turned that guy down
30
00:01:20,866 --> 00:01:22,366
because of something your psychic said.
31
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,368
You can't argue with science,
32
00:01:24,402 --> 00:01:26,653
or psychics, or Oprah.
33
00:01:26,688 --> 00:01:28,522
Okay, Oprah maybe,
34
00:01:28,573 --> 00:01:30,324
but it drives me nuts
35
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,526
that you believe in all that other stuff.
36
00:01:32,528 --> 00:01:34,661
Well, I think it's sad you
don't believe in anything.
37
00:01:34,696 --> 00:01:38,365
Except toner, which
you won't shut up about.
38
00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:40,434
I believe in plenty of other things.
39
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,452
Just things I can actually see.
40
00:01:42,504 --> 00:01:45,639
I can see myself delivering my
own package to that delivery guy.
41
00:01:47,509 --> 00:01:50,627
Inappropriate Office Banter. Dollar. Can.
42
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:54,381
I'm gonna put in a 20.
I'm feeling saucy today.
43
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,584
(Theme music playing)
44
00:02:03,608 --> 00:02:04,658
(Shrieks)
45
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:09,192
Synced by YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:02:09,194 --> 00:02:13,694
Corrected by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,570
I know it sounds nutty... "Haunted House,"
48
00:02:16,621 --> 00:02:19,406
but is there any way I can
convince you to take this case?
49
00:02:19,408 --> 00:02:22,242
The supernatural is not
something we normally do.
50
00:02:22,293 --> 00:02:23,493
I can pay $2,000.
51
00:02:23,545 --> 00:02:25,579
But it's a field we've
always wanted to break into.
52
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,549
Sorry I'm late.
53
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,417
My neighbor forgot to close his curtains.
54
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:33,720
Get me up to speed in
your best narrator voice.
55
00:02:33,755 --> 00:02:36,340
"Previously on 'Mystery Girls'..."
56
00:02:36,391 --> 00:02:38,258
Henry contacted the girls
57
00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:40,310
because he bought a
vacation home in Big Bear,
58
00:02:40,345 --> 00:02:42,512
but his new wife refuses to move in
59
00:02:42,564 --> 00:02:44,398
believing it to be haunted by the ghost
60
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:45,432
of a previous occupant.
61
00:02:45,483 --> 00:02:46,600
What an episode!
62
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,519
Tell me more.
63
00:02:49,571 --> 00:02:52,439
That's about it. I hope you can help.
64
00:02:52,441 --> 00:02:53,440
I came to you first
65
00:02:53,491 --> 00:02:55,609
because my wife is such a huge fan.
66
00:02:55,611 --> 00:02:58,278
Ooh, how huge?
67
00:02:58,329 --> 00:03:00,364
She knows every episode by heart.
68
00:03:00,415 --> 00:03:01,615
Her favorite is the one where you joined
69
00:03:01,617 --> 00:03:03,533
an all-girl biker gang
70
00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:06,286
and broke up that
counterfeit lipstick cartel.
71
00:03:06,288 --> 00:03:07,621
(Chuckles)
72
00:03:07,623 --> 00:03:10,257
Your wife is getting her episodes mixed up.
73
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,459
The biker gang was pimping
out blind prostitutes
74
00:03:12,510 --> 00:03:14,519
the lipstick cartel was being run by
75
00:03:14,554 --> 00:03:16,605
those evil beach volleyball players
76
00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,557
Tad and Thad.
77
00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:21,643
Trust me. My wife knows
what she's talking about.
78
00:03:21,645 --> 00:03:24,646
Trust me. So do I.
79
00:03:24,681 --> 00:03:26,648
Oh yeah?
80
00:03:26,699 --> 00:03:28,650
Do you have an official
"Mystery Girls" fan club card,
81
00:03:28,652 --> 00:03:30,652
because I do. I mean, my wife does.
82
00:03:32,405 --> 00:03:34,456
Okay, fine. I'm the super fan.
83
00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:35,657
- Hey!
- Yes!
84
00:03:37,377 --> 00:03:39,328
Mystery solved.
85
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:41,413
Wait. Your wife exists, right?
86
00:03:41,464 --> 00:03:43,332
You're not here just to meet us?
87
00:03:43,366 --> 00:03:45,334
No, no, everything else is true.
88
00:03:45,385 --> 00:03:47,636
Okay, pal, what are we talkin' about?
89
00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:49,671
Ghost lights, poltergeists,
90
00:03:49,673 --> 00:03:51,640
dark energies?
91
00:03:51,674 --> 00:03:54,676
I'm impressed. So you'll take the case?
92
00:03:54,727 --> 00:03:56,345
Nope.
93
00:03:56,396 --> 00:03:58,680
Come on. Please. I'll tell you what...
94
00:03:58,731 --> 00:04:01,566
The house is full of
antiques that my wife hates,
95
00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:03,685
if there's something you
want, pick it out, it's yours.
96
00:04:03,736 --> 00:04:06,438
Oh, I love it. It's
like "Antiques Road Show"
97
00:04:06,489 --> 00:04:08,240
meets "Ghost Hunters." We're in!
98
00:04:09,575 --> 00:04:11,443
Thank you for indulging me.
99
00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:13,278
My wife will be very relieved.
100
00:04:13,329 --> 00:04:16,281
Happy wife, happy life, am I right?
101
00:04:19,702 --> 00:04:22,337
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
102
00:04:22,372 --> 00:04:25,340
Is Nick not really gay?
103
00:04:25,375 --> 00:04:26,708
No. This is amazing.
104
00:04:26,759 --> 00:04:29,378
$2,000 to go on a treasure hunt
105
00:04:29,429 --> 00:04:31,546
- and have a sleep-over.
- Wait, what?
106
00:04:31,597 --> 00:04:35,384
- We're sleeping over?
- Yes, it'll be fun!
107
00:04:35,386 --> 00:04:36,551
Haunted House Party!
108
00:04:36,602 --> 00:04:38,687
We'll rent "Beetlejuice," make cocktails,
109
00:04:38,721 --> 00:04:40,722
and I'll do the "Thriller" dance.
110
00:04:47,463 --> 00:04:49,431
Wow. We found the one gay man
111
00:04:49,465 --> 00:04:50,732
who doesn't know how to
do the "Thriller" dance.
112
00:04:50,734 --> 00:04:52,284
Awesome.
113
00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:01,326
(Clears throat)
114
00:05:11,287 --> 00:05:12,587
I'm sensing there's a problem.
115
00:05:12,638 --> 00:05:15,507
I just don't think we should
go messin' with ghosts.
116
00:05:15,558 --> 00:05:17,259
Honey, there are no ghosts.
117
00:05:17,261 --> 00:05:19,494
- In that house?
- In the world.
118
00:05:21,481 --> 00:05:23,265
Okay, that's your opinion,
119
00:05:23,316 --> 00:05:25,317
but the truth is, we don't know
120
00:05:25,351 --> 00:05:27,436
what we don't know.
121
00:05:27,438 --> 00:05:31,406
You know what, Holly, if you
want to turn down hot delivery guy
122
00:05:31,441 --> 00:05:33,608
because of some superstition, that's fine.
123
00:05:33,610 --> 00:05:37,446
But this is real money we
can use to pay real bills,
124
00:05:37,448 --> 00:05:39,614
and maybe buy you a new
pair of office supplies.
125
00:05:39,665 --> 00:05:41,533
(Gasps) Oh, okay.
126
00:05:41,584 --> 00:05:44,286
Wait. Let me just clear
this with my psychic.
127
00:05:44,337 --> 00:05:46,755
Oh, that lady with all the parrots? No.
128
00:05:48,591 --> 00:05:50,459
We're taking the case.
129
00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:52,294
Fine!
130
00:05:52,345 --> 00:05:55,464
I just hope someone knows
how to perform exorcisms.
131
00:05:55,515 --> 00:05:57,332
Googling it now!
132
00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:59,684
Found one. Oh my God.
133
00:05:59,719 --> 00:06:03,221
(Gasps) There's a lot of vomit.
134
00:06:09,278 --> 00:06:11,696
Oh good, this isn't spooky at all.
135
00:06:12,732 --> 00:06:14,533
It's just old.
136
00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:15,700
It's not like there's a clown with a knife
137
00:06:15,735 --> 00:06:17,536
waiting under the stairs.
138
00:06:18,621 --> 00:06:20,489
Wait, that was really specific.
139
00:06:20,491 --> 00:06:22,240
Something you wanna share?
140
00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:25,327
Wow, this place is incredible.
141
00:06:25,329 --> 00:06:26,711
Look at these crown moldings
142
00:06:26,746 --> 00:06:29,297
and this detail around the bar.
143
00:06:29,332 --> 00:06:32,417
Oh my God. It's like house porn.
144
00:06:32,468 --> 00:06:34,386
Yep, it's really something.
145
00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:36,638
I've been the caretaker here most my life.
146
00:06:36,672 --> 00:06:40,258
Lots of memories. If
these walls could talk...
147
00:06:40,309 --> 00:06:42,277
Oh, I don't care if they talk.
148
00:06:42,311 --> 00:06:44,346
I just want to know if they bleed.
149
00:06:45,598 --> 00:06:47,682
Sorry, we heard the place was haunted.
150
00:06:47,733 --> 00:06:50,318
Oh, you heard about Hester, huh?
151
00:06:50,353 --> 00:06:51,520
(Laughing)
152
00:06:51,571 --> 00:06:53,655
(Forced laughter)
153
00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:58,493
Who's Hester?
154
00:06:58,528 --> 00:07:00,579
Hester and Roger Carlysle
155
00:07:00,613 --> 00:07:02,447
bought this place in 1941.
156
00:07:02,498 --> 00:07:06,301
Then the war called, and
he went missing in action.
157
00:07:06,335 --> 00:07:10,205
Years passed. People urged
Hester to get on with her life,
158
00:07:10,256 --> 00:07:14,376
but she said Roger was her one true love.
159
00:07:14,378 --> 00:07:17,295
So she waited for 60 years
160
00:07:17,346 --> 00:07:19,297
until finally she passed.
161
00:07:19,348 --> 00:07:21,433
Oh, what a lovely story.
162
00:07:21,467 --> 00:07:23,268
We didn't find her for weeks.
163
00:07:24,554 --> 00:07:27,222
By then, the cats had
nibbled out her eyeballs.
164
00:07:27,273 --> 00:07:30,392
I've always been a dog person.
165
00:07:30,443 --> 00:07:32,444
Oh, then the dogs ate the rest of her.
166
00:07:36,566 --> 00:07:39,484
- I see what you mean. Good memories.
- Mm-hmm.
167
00:07:39,535 --> 00:07:43,288
Some say that Hester is still here
168
00:07:43,322 --> 00:07:45,290
waiting for Roger to return,
169
00:07:45,324 --> 00:07:48,410
rocking in her chair,
170
00:07:48,412 --> 00:07:51,646
clutching her gold locket.
171
00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:55,550
Well, toodle-oo.
172
00:07:55,585 --> 00:07:57,552
Uh, did you say gold locket?
173
00:07:57,587 --> 00:07:59,421
Yep. They never found it.
174
00:07:59,423 --> 00:08:00,672
Who knows?
175
00:08:00,723 --> 00:08:03,625
It's probably still here
in the house somewhere.
176
00:08:04,644 --> 00:08:06,344
Toodle-oo again.
177
00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:12,567
(Device clicking)
178
00:08:16,489 --> 00:08:18,690
Cool, no ghosts. Let's go grab Sushi.
179
00:08:18,741 --> 00:08:20,525
No, no, no, no.
180
00:08:20,576 --> 00:08:22,611
We are staying the night here
like we're paid to do, okay?
181
00:08:22,662 --> 00:08:24,613
And I want to look for that locket.
182
00:08:24,615 --> 00:08:26,364
Fine. Fine.
183
00:08:26,415 --> 00:08:27,582
Yeah, just pretend like
184
00:08:27,617 --> 00:08:28,700
we're on a girls' night out, okay?
185
00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:31,286
Yeah, just you, me,
186
00:08:31,337 --> 00:08:33,255
some old lady ghost... no eyeballs.
187
00:08:33,289 --> 00:08:34,506
Party time.
188
00:08:40,429 --> 00:08:42,347
The rest of the house is clear,
189
00:08:42,381 --> 00:08:44,516
and there are no disturbances on infrared,
190
00:08:44,550 --> 00:08:45,684
which can only mean one thing...
191
00:08:45,718 --> 00:08:48,470
This thing is broken.
192
00:08:48,521 --> 00:08:50,372
Because...
193
00:08:50,406 --> 00:08:52,307
(Sniffs) I feel Hester.
194
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:56,311
You feel those three chili dogs
195
00:08:56,313 --> 00:08:57,562
you had to have on the way up here.
196
00:08:57,613 --> 00:09:00,282
I think I know the difference
197
00:09:00,316 --> 00:09:01,566
between a ghost and a chili dog.
198
00:09:01,617 --> 00:09:04,286
Yes, chili dogs exist.
199
00:09:05,454 --> 00:09:07,205
If I had a buzz-kill detector,
200
00:09:07,239 --> 00:09:09,491
it'd be beeping like crazy right now.
201
00:09:09,493 --> 00:09:10,659
What are you doing?
202
00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:12,377
I'm looking for the locket.
203
00:09:12,411 --> 00:09:14,462
Maybe Hester doesn't want you to find it.
204
00:09:14,497 --> 00:09:16,581
Oh, why? Are you and Hester BFFs now?
205
00:09:16,632 --> 00:09:19,501
Maybe Hester should come on out
206
00:09:19,503 --> 00:09:21,670
and give me a big
smooch-a-roonie on my butt.
207
00:09:21,721 --> 00:09:24,589
She was just kidding about that.
208
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,242
I do feel sorry for her though.
209
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:30,495
Can you imagine rambling
around this house for 60 years
210
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,447
waiting for your true love to come back?
211
00:09:32,449 --> 00:09:34,366
I wouldn't know.
212
00:09:34,417 --> 00:09:35,583
You're the one with the one true love.
213
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,452
Meeting Michael was your destiny.
214
00:09:37,503 --> 00:09:40,372
No, meeting Michael was a coincidence.
215
00:09:40,423 --> 00:09:43,258
I hired a contractor and he showed up.
216
00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,343
See? Destiny.
217
00:09:45,378 --> 00:09:48,463
I think the closest I came
to true love was Clyde.
218
00:09:48,465 --> 00:09:50,265
Ugh, Clyde?!
219
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:52,267
That loser you were engaged to?
220
00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:54,269
All he did was sit around in your trailer,
221
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,221
smoke pot, and play video games.
222
00:09:56,272 --> 00:09:58,440
Yeah, but still.
223
00:09:58,474 --> 00:10:01,443
Since then, the closest
I came to true love?
224
00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:04,646
Mm, my lime green Louboutins.
225
00:10:04,648 --> 00:10:07,315
Yeah, those were good shoes.
226
00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:08,400
Whatever happened to those?
227
00:10:08,451 --> 00:10:09,567
Still in the closet
228
00:10:09,618 --> 00:10:11,403
with the rest of my ex-boyfriends.
229
00:10:12,621 --> 00:10:14,489
- (Device beeping)
- Oh my God.
230
00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:17,375
The temperature, it just
dropped five degrees!
231
00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:19,327
Okay, so maybe there's a draft.
232
00:10:19,378 --> 00:10:21,663
Or maybe Hester's coming
to put her ghost lips
233
00:10:21,665 --> 00:10:23,381
on your butt like you requested.
234
00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:26,334
Oh. Okay, Hester. Here it is.
235
00:10:26,369 --> 00:10:27,502
Pucker it up.
236
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:31,740
Ah, I just saw something in the hallway!
237
00:10:31,774 --> 00:10:33,725
What?
238
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,510
Still not scared.
239
00:10:35,512 --> 00:10:37,412
(Door creaks)
240
00:10:38,647 --> 00:10:40,482
(Both scream)
241
00:10:41,877 --> 00:10:43,712
(Both scream)
242
00:10:43,746 --> 00:10:45,697
Hey, girls!
243
00:10:45,731 --> 00:10:47,615
It's so cold out there.
244
00:10:47,650 --> 00:10:49,567
I had to put my snuggie on in the car.
245
00:10:49,618 --> 00:10:52,237
You almost gave us a heart attack!
246
00:10:52,288 --> 00:10:53,288
What are you doing here, Nick?
247
00:10:53,322 --> 00:10:55,240
Holly left her memory foam pillow
248
00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:56,541
and I didn't want it to forget her.
249
00:10:57,743 --> 00:11:00,328
Okay, fine. I couldn't stand the thought
250
00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:01,496
of you guys having fun without me.
251
00:11:01,547 --> 00:11:04,332
Don't worry, no one's having any fun.
252
00:11:05,501 --> 00:11:07,635
It's not supposed to be fun. It's work.
253
00:11:07,670 --> 00:11:09,504
Well, Nick may be tardy,
254
00:11:09,555 --> 00:11:11,339
but he's bringing the party!
255
00:11:11,341 --> 00:11:12,557
Show of hands, who wants to see me crump?
256
00:11:15,594 --> 00:11:17,679
If crump means leave, then yes.
257
00:11:17,681 --> 00:11:19,264
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
258
00:11:19,315 --> 00:11:20,515
- Bloody Mary?
- Nick, no!
259
00:11:20,566 --> 00:11:23,518
I don't need another dead
broad complicating things.
260
00:11:23,569 --> 00:11:25,603
I'm just asking, who wants a Bloody Mary?
261
00:11:25,654 --> 00:11:28,440
I've got hot, super hot,
262
00:11:28,491 --> 00:11:30,575
and Channing Tatum.
263
00:11:30,609 --> 00:11:33,194
Three Magic Mikes on the rocks.
264
00:11:34,330 --> 00:11:36,197
Good idea. I should have a buzz
265
00:11:36,248 --> 00:11:39,334
in case we accidentally
open a portal to hell.
266
00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:40,702
Why don't you help me
look for the locket, okay?
267
00:11:40,704 --> 00:11:43,671
We could use some money to pay
for all that stuff you rented.
268
00:11:45,541 --> 00:11:47,542
Nick hon, was it snowing when you drove up?
269
00:11:47,593 --> 00:11:50,295
Nick?
270
00:11:50,346 --> 00:11:52,547
(Gasps) Where did Nick go?
271
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,516
(Charlie gasps) Where'd the bar go?
272
00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:55,600
Nick?!
273
00:11:55,634 --> 00:11:57,635
Nick: I'm in the wall!
274
00:11:57,686 --> 00:11:59,554
Are you okay?
275
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,356
Is the booze okay?
276
00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:03,191
I knew this would happen.
277
00:12:03,225 --> 00:12:04,442
Oh right. You knew that our assistant
278
00:12:04,477 --> 00:12:06,311
would be swallowed up
by a rotating bookshelf?
279
00:12:06,362 --> 00:12:07,612
Is that what you're telling me?
280
00:12:07,646 --> 00:12:10,365
Guys? I think something
just crawled inside of me.
281
00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:14,235
There must be a lever here somewhere.
282
00:12:19,658 --> 00:12:22,510
I mean, usually I get
the spins after I drink.
283
00:12:23,546 --> 00:12:25,213
Charlie: Little help.
284
00:12:32,555 --> 00:12:34,472
Did you guys get fondled too?
285
00:12:35,591 --> 00:12:36,674
What is that around your neck?
286
00:12:36,725 --> 00:12:39,227
(Gasps) The locket!
287
00:12:39,261 --> 00:12:40,261
I wasn't wearing a locket.
288
00:12:40,312 --> 00:12:41,479
It's Hester's locket.
289
00:12:41,514 --> 00:12:43,314
It's ours now.
290
00:12:43,349 --> 00:12:45,517
Wait! What if her soul can't
rest till she gets this back?
291
00:12:45,568 --> 00:12:49,404
Oh please, she doesn't care
about this old thing. She's dead.
292
00:12:49,438 --> 00:12:51,606
(Both gasp)
293
00:12:51,657 --> 00:12:54,275
Apparently, she's still mad
at that chandelier, though.
294
00:12:56,662 --> 00:12:58,279
Oh, Charles,
295
00:12:58,314 --> 00:12:59,614
are you sure you don't want to join?
296
00:12:59,665 --> 00:13:01,182
We're trying to contact Hester.
297
00:13:01,217 --> 00:13:02,450
No, I'm good.
298
00:13:03,502 --> 00:13:05,336
Fine. We'll do it without you.
299
00:13:05,371 --> 00:13:07,372
It's so cool you're a medium.
300
00:13:07,423 --> 00:13:08,623
Bite your tongue.
301
00:13:08,625 --> 00:13:10,341
I'm a boy's small.
302
00:13:11,544 --> 00:13:14,462
- (Chains rattling)
- (Gasps)
303
00:13:14,497 --> 00:13:16,464
- What was that sound?
- What sound?
304
00:13:16,466 --> 00:13:19,350
You know, the sound of
a ghost dragging chains?
305
00:13:19,385 --> 00:13:22,637
I'm sure there's a perfectly
reasonable explanation.
306
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:25,640
Like maybe those cats
and dogs that ate Hester
307
00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:28,309
are dragging around some chains.
308
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,578
(Door creaks)
309
00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:32,614
Me again.
310
00:13:32,648 --> 00:13:34,649
Figured you guys could use some snow chains
311
00:13:34,651 --> 00:13:35,650
to get down the mountain.
312
00:13:35,652 --> 00:13:37,485
Great.
313
00:13:37,487 --> 00:13:38,686
(Device beeps)
314
00:13:38,721 --> 00:13:42,290
E.M.F. monitor! There's
a presence in the room!
315
00:13:42,324 --> 00:13:45,243
Great, now there's a
presence in my underwear.
316
00:13:46,362 --> 00:13:47,662
Gross. Bye.
317
00:13:49,548 --> 00:13:52,417
Okay, Holly, can you do
something about that beeping?
318
00:13:52,468 --> 00:13:56,337
I can't! It's her
energy... It's too strong.
319
00:13:56,388 --> 00:13:58,673
It's probably just the batteries are dying.
320
00:13:58,675 --> 00:14:00,308
That is possible.
321
00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:01,593
I did take it from the smoke detector,
322
00:14:01,644 --> 00:14:03,511
which was beeping at the time.
323
00:14:03,513 --> 00:14:05,480
We need professional advice.
324
00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:08,349
Give me your credit card.
I'm gotta call my psychic.
325
00:14:08,351 --> 00:14:10,351
Okay, good God, woman,
326
00:14:10,402 --> 00:14:12,654
would you take some
responsibility for your life?
327
00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:15,190
What is that supposed to mean?
328
00:14:15,241 --> 00:14:18,326
It means you just let this mumbo jumbo
329
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,245
make all your decisions for you.
330
00:14:20,279 --> 00:14:22,363
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.
331
00:14:22,414 --> 00:14:25,500
Uh, remember that time you
passed up the role in "Titanic"
332
00:14:25,534 --> 00:14:27,619
because it started
filming on Friday the 13th?
333
00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:30,505
Okay, to be fair, that was "Titantric"
334
00:14:30,539 --> 00:14:32,257
and it was for Cinemax.
335
00:14:33,626 --> 00:14:37,345
Okay. How about when you broke
off your engagement with Clyde
336
00:14:37,379 --> 00:14:40,381
because your horoscope said you
shouldn't make any big decisions?
337
00:14:40,383 --> 00:14:42,417
Horoscopes don't lie.
338
00:14:42,451 --> 00:14:44,686
Oh really? Because I
made that horoscope up!
339
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,221
How about that?
340
00:14:46,223 --> 00:14:48,356
- (Gasps)
- Escandalo!
341
00:14:51,227 --> 00:14:53,645
Yeah, I had Deano in the
Prop Department do it for me.
342
00:14:53,696 --> 00:14:55,396
The point is
343
00:14:55,447 --> 00:14:58,633
you let all this other
stuff rule your life.
344
00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:02,287
No, the point is you ruined my life.
345
00:15:02,321 --> 00:15:03,621
I didn't ruin your life.
346
00:15:03,656 --> 00:15:06,291
I was protecting you from running off
347
00:15:06,325 --> 00:15:09,160
with some loser you'd known for a week.
348
00:15:09,211 --> 00:15:11,246
That loser was Clyde Douglas.
349
00:15:11,297 --> 00:15:13,214
He founded a video game company
350
00:15:13,249 --> 00:15:15,466
it's worth over a $100 million.
351
00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:18,303
Oh, see, I did not know that.
352
00:15:20,556 --> 00:15:23,424
Holly...
353
00:15:23,475 --> 00:15:25,310
Buzz-kill detector.
354
00:15:26,428 --> 00:15:28,429
Beep...
355
00:15:28,431 --> 00:15:30,265
Beep...
356
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:32,567
- Beep.
- Okay, stop doing that.
357
00:15:32,601 --> 00:15:34,602
Beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep, beep...
358
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,580
Hey. She still mad at me?
359
00:15:41,632 --> 00:15:43,733
Well, she doesn't want to talk to you,
360
00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:46,585
but she does want to know
if you brought any cookies.
361
00:15:47,721 --> 00:15:50,506
- Really?
- Fine, they're for me.
362
00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,475
In my bag.
363
00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:56,395
Man, did I screw up.
364
00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:57,513
I'm reading about this Clyde guy...
365
00:15:57,564 --> 00:15:58,748
He's amazing.
366
00:15:58,782 --> 00:16:00,733
Rich, accomplished, full head of hair.
367
00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:03,352
Don't worry. She'll find
another bazillionaire...
368
00:16:04,438 --> 00:16:06,322
who has an island?
369
00:16:07,524 --> 00:16:09,692
- Yeah, you screwed up.
- Mm-hmm.
370
00:16:09,743 --> 00:16:12,662
I thought I was doing the right thing.
371
00:16:12,696 --> 00:16:15,498
When we started out on "Mystery
Girls," we were so young.
372
00:16:15,532 --> 00:16:17,500
I had solid parents, but Holly didn't.
373
00:16:17,534 --> 00:16:19,585
She was so trusting.
374
00:16:19,619 --> 00:16:22,421
Everybody was always
taking advantage of her.
375
00:16:22,456 --> 00:16:24,457
I get it. You were trying
to being a good friend.
376
00:16:24,508 --> 00:16:26,342
But it's not your job to stop her
377
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,543
from making bad decisions.
378
00:16:27,545 --> 00:16:29,712
It's your job to support her when she does.
379
00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:31,797
Wow. That was really insightful.
380
00:16:31,848 --> 00:16:33,649
I know, right?
381
00:16:33,684 --> 00:16:35,418
Holly said it in episode 87
382
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,802
when you were temporarily
blinded by that bee sting.
383
00:16:40,607 --> 00:16:41,807
Just getting my sleeping bag.
384
00:16:41,858 --> 00:16:43,726
I'll be sleeping upstairs...
385
00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:45,561
safe from the evil spirit
386
00:16:45,612 --> 00:16:47,463
that sits right here on this couch.
387
00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:52,568
Look, Holly, I'm sorry.
388
00:16:52,570 --> 00:16:54,704
Okay, I... I was wrong.
389
00:16:54,738 --> 00:16:56,706
I thought Clyde was a total loser,
390
00:16:56,740 --> 00:17:00,710
but I should've let you come
to that conclusion on your own.
391
00:17:00,744 --> 00:17:02,411
It turns out he's amazing.
392
00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,413
Even after his wife died, he was a rock.
393
00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:07,383
- One of his kids is like a cello prodigy...
- Wait, wait, wait.
394
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:08,751
His wife died?
395
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:13,756
Yeah, yeah. They were
driving home from some gala
396
00:17:13,758 --> 00:17:15,641
and a truck plowed right into them.
397
00:17:15,675 --> 00:17:17,676
(Gasps) Oh my God.
398
00:17:17,728 --> 00:17:19,512
That would have been me.
399
00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:22,431
Well, we don't know that.
400
00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:24,600
You know how much I love galas!
401
00:17:24,651 --> 00:17:27,603
I would totally be dead right now.
402
00:17:27,654 --> 00:17:30,689
And I'd have to text you on a Ouija board.
403
00:17:34,611 --> 00:17:37,747
When you altered my
destiny, you saved my life.
404
00:17:37,781 --> 00:17:39,582
Ha!
405
00:17:39,616 --> 00:17:40,616
Take that, Hester!
406
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:43,419
I cheated death when you couldn't!
407
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,421
Oh, wait. I'm just kidding,
408
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:47,456
don't haunt me, please?
409
00:17:47,507 --> 00:17:48,791
So you forgive me?
410
00:17:50,627 --> 00:17:53,429
Yeah. Of course I do.
411
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:57,433
By the way, I found this on the doorknob.
412
00:17:57,467 --> 00:18:00,302
I was wearing that 10 minutes ago!
413
00:18:00,304 --> 00:18:02,304
(Pipe organ playing)
414
00:18:04,641 --> 00:18:07,560
Never had a lesson!
415
00:18:12,732 --> 00:18:16,318
(Mumbling) You get me a coffee, Charlie.
416
00:18:16,369 --> 00:18:18,704
- You're fired, Charlie.
- Hey.
417
00:18:18,738 --> 00:18:21,791
Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.
We made it through the night.
418
00:18:23,326 --> 00:18:25,377
Hey, who braided my hair?
419
00:18:27,464 --> 00:18:28,497
Oh, dang. It was me.
420
00:18:28,548 --> 00:18:30,716
(Knocks on door)
421
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,635
- Hi.
- Hey.
422
00:18:32,669 --> 00:18:34,503
Come on in.
423
00:18:34,554 --> 00:18:37,339
Well, how'd it go?
424
00:18:37,341 --> 00:18:40,342
We're happy to report that
there are no ghosts in the house.
425
00:18:40,393 --> 00:18:41,594
Well, there's one ghost,
426
00:18:41,645 --> 00:18:43,429
but we came to a complete understanding
427
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:44,647
and she's totally cool
with you guys moving in.
428
00:18:44,681 --> 00:18:46,599
Both: Mystery solved.
429
00:18:48,735 --> 00:18:50,519
I'm unclear. Am I paying you or not?
430
00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:52,370
Paying us.
431
00:18:52,372 --> 00:18:54,472
Uh-uh. Not there.
432
00:18:54,474 --> 00:18:55,691
Yeah, I wouldn't.
433
00:18:58,445 --> 00:18:59,695
Uh, glad you got in okay.
434
00:18:59,746 --> 00:19:02,615
I was worried I'd forgotten
to put the key under the mat.
435
00:19:02,666 --> 00:19:04,667
It was no problem. The caretaker let us in.
436
00:19:04,701 --> 00:19:06,285
Caretaker?
437
00:19:06,336 --> 00:19:07,620
Yeah. Walt.
438
00:19:11,374 --> 00:19:13,609
- Walt died five years ago.
- (Gasps)
439
00:19:14,794 --> 00:19:17,580
Oh, wait, Walt! Of course.
440
00:19:17,597 --> 00:19:19,381
I'm thinking of Dave the gardener.
441
00:19:19,432 --> 00:19:21,433
- Dave's dead, Walt's fine.
- Whew.
442
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,355
- Thank you.
- Nice locket.
443
00:19:26,389 --> 00:19:27,606
Oh, yeah.
444
00:19:27,641 --> 00:19:29,558
You said if we found something
we liked, we could keep it.
445
00:19:29,593 --> 00:19:32,561
Absolutely. I hope you enjoy
it, no matter what Walt says.
446
00:19:32,612 --> 00:19:35,564
Uh, wait, wait. What does Walt say?
447
00:19:35,615 --> 00:19:37,566
You know, that it's cursed,
448
00:19:37,568 --> 00:19:39,568
and whoever takes possession of it
449
00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:41,537
is doomed to eternal suffering.
450
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:42,538
Well, bye.
451
00:19:45,408 --> 00:19:48,327
Well, good thing you don't
believe in that sort of thing.
452
00:19:48,378 --> 00:19:51,330
Yeah, good thing.
453
00:19:52,799 --> 00:19:54,800
You know what?
454
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:58,587
Hester, it's all yours.
455
00:19:58,638 --> 00:20:00,639
I'm just gonna...
456
00:20:00,674 --> 00:20:03,475
take this vase.
457
00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:05,761
- Is she okay with that?
- Oh, let me check.
458
00:20:05,812 --> 00:20:07,596
Yep, fine.
459
00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:09,765
Let me grab my stuff, guys.
460
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:17,640
Guys? In the wall again.
461
00:20:19,442 --> 00:20:20,776
I say we leave him.
462
00:20:26,719 --> 00:20:28,587
Morning.
463
00:20:28,589 --> 00:20:30,389
Hi.
464
00:20:30,424 --> 00:20:32,308
Just need you to sign.
465
00:20:32,342 --> 00:20:34,760
You know, there's a new
pair of shoes in there.
466
00:20:34,762 --> 00:20:36,729
How about I wear 'em on a date with you?
467
00:20:36,763 --> 00:20:38,597
All right.
468
00:20:38,648 --> 00:20:40,649
You sure that's gonna be
okay with your psychic?
469
00:20:40,684 --> 00:20:42,401
Hm?
470
00:20:42,436 --> 00:20:44,570
I'm trying to be a little
more proactive with my life,
471
00:20:44,604 --> 00:20:46,355
leave less up to the fates.
472
00:20:46,406 --> 00:20:48,324
I hear that. I'll pick you up at 6:00.
473
00:20:48,358 --> 00:20:49,608
I hope you like food.
474
00:20:55,532 --> 00:20:56,665
Look at you,
475
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:59,285
making your own decisions.
476
00:20:59,336 --> 00:21:00,669
Our little girl is all grown up.
477
00:21:00,704 --> 00:21:04,290
Yep, no longer listening
to all that mumbo jumbo.
478
00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:05,624
This girl thinks for herself.
479
00:21:05,626 --> 00:21:07,676
Although I did consult
the magic eight ball.
480
00:21:07,711 --> 00:21:10,513
It said to "Ask again
later," I took that for "Yes."
481
00:21:11,698 --> 00:21:13,466
Is there a delivery guy in my future?
482
00:21:13,468 --> 00:21:14,683
"Not likely."
483
00:21:14,718 --> 00:21:16,719
"Not likely." "Not likely"?
484
00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,637
"Not likely"?!
485
00:21:18,687 --> 00:21:23,237
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