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1
00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:08,538
Cal: This is the story of 10 strangers,
2
00:00:08,606 --> 00:00:13,577
one night, and all the stupid,
embarrassing, ridiculous things we do...
3
00:00:14,879 --> 00:00:16,580
To find love.
4
00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:20,984
Can I get a drink?
5
00:00:21,052 --> 00:00:23,253
- Can I get a...
- Hey, chief?!
6
00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:24,421
Hi!
7
00:00:24,488 --> 00:00:25,722
- Okay, what do you need?
- A scotch.
8
00:00:25,790 --> 00:00:28,658
- I got this.
- Hi!
9
00:00:28,726 --> 00:00:29,626
[Glass shatters] There's that.
10
00:00:29,694 --> 00:00:31,261
Whoa!
11
00:00:31,329 --> 00:00:33,096
Everything all right over there?
12
00:00:33,164 --> 00:00:34,364
No, sir. It is not.
13
00:00:34,432 --> 00:00:36,266
We need a scotch and
three vodka tonics, please.
14
00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:38,001
All right. Coming right up.
15
00:00:38,069 --> 00:00:40,173
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
16
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,457
It's Bruce, right?
17
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,400
Yeah. It's Maya, right?
18
00:00:42,401 --> 00:00:43,280
Yeah. Yeah.
19
00:00:48,450 --> 00:00:50,484
Sync and corrected by thatjulio
www.addic7ed.com
20
00:00:54,284 --> 00:00:56,552
All right, guys, we're coming
up on the end of the night,
21
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:59,088
and I'm worried you two idiots
haven't locked on your poontash.
22
00:00:59,155 --> 00:01:00,522
Tommy, where are you at with your Latin?
23
00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:02,124
Uh, well, we've had some nice talks.
24
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:03,692
I sent her a fun drink, and, uh,
25
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,095
I wave to her every 20 minutes,
and sometimes she waves back.
26
00:01:06,162 --> 00:01:07,529
So I think I'm doing just fine.
27
00:01:07,597 --> 00:01:09,298
[Chuckles] I think you're
not doing just fine, Tom.
28
00:01:09,366 --> 00:01:10,866
Your girl just threw me
major vibe at the bar.
29
00:01:10,934 --> 00:01:13,502
Big time, pal. You've locked down nothing.
30
00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:15,004
Tommy, you've achieved nothing tonight.
31
00:01:15,071 --> 00:01:16,505
You're essentially nothing.
32
00:01:16,573 --> 00:01:18,474
Oh! I-I also sent her some fun
emojis, like, two hours ago.
33
00:01:18,541 --> 00:01:20,676
Oh, why didn't you say so?
What were they of?
34
00:01:20,744 --> 00:01:22,111
Uh, two pandas and a cheeseburger.
35
00:01:22,178 --> 00:01:23,379
She's not locked down, Tom!
36
00:01:23,446 --> 00:01:25,681
- What about you, Cal?
- Well, don't worry about me,
37
00:01:25,749 --> 00:01:28,784
- because me and Kacey have a date
at 2:00 A.M. - Are you serious?
38
00:01:28,852 --> 00:01:30,986
Waitresses are not locked
down till closing time, Cal.
39
00:01:31,054 --> 00:01:32,688
What are you talking about?
40
00:01:32,756 --> 00:01:35,257
For the next hour, Kacey will
be subjected to a steady barrage
41
00:01:35,325 --> 00:01:36,825
of penises vying for her attention.
42
00:01:36,893 --> 00:01:39,194
The sky will literally be
raining penises on here.
43
00:01:39,262 --> 00:01:40,963
[Gasps] You're using "literally" wrong.
44
00:01:41,031 --> 00:01:42,166
I don't think so. Yeah.
45
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:43,809
- What about you and your girl?
- Jessica?
46
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,335
- Mm-hmm.
- She's fully locked down.
47
00:01:46,403 --> 00:01:47,803
- You malo, right?
- I'm malo.
48
00:01:47,871 --> 00:01:50,005
She's a little unlocked. Mm-hmm.
49
00:01:50,073 --> 00:01:51,307
Yeah, you have a really nice body.
50
00:01:51,374 --> 00:01:53,042
Okay, she could be more locked down.
51
00:01:53,109 --> 00:01:55,077
'Cause they taste like a woman. Oh!
52
00:01:55,145 --> 00:01:57,428
Okay, is he feeding her nuts out
of his hand like she's a squirrel?
53
00:01:58,582 --> 00:02:01,184
And I know that ending things
with Jim was the right thing.
54
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:03,686
But, still, I loved him.
55
00:02:03,754 --> 00:02:06,722
It's gonna take a really long
time before my heart can ever...
56
00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:09,358
Oh, my God, there's Ron.
57
00:02:09,426 --> 00:02:11,861
- Oh, my God. How do I smell?
- You smell fine.
58
00:02:11,929 --> 00:02:13,396
Hello.
59
00:02:13,464 --> 00:02:14,597
Hi.
60
00:02:14,665 --> 00:02:16,632
Yeah, I'm gonna go... Anywhere else.
61
00:02:17,801 --> 00:02:20,603
You're sitting here without your fianc?e.
62
00:02:20,671 --> 00:02:23,228
So I assume either things
didn't go great with him,
63
00:02:23,229 --> 00:02:25,272
or I'm about to be murdered.
64
00:02:25,342 --> 00:02:27,009
[Chuckles]
65
00:02:27,077 --> 00:02:30,346
Yeah, I ended my engagement.
66
00:02:30,414 --> 00:02:33,916
And now I'm free to do whatever I want.
67
00:02:33,984 --> 00:02:36,652
Yay.
68
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,889
Yeah, freedom can be a bit scary.
69
00:02:39,957 --> 00:02:41,490
But it can also be fun.
70
00:02:41,558 --> 00:02:45,552
What have you always wanted to do
but couldn't because you were engaged?
71
00:02:45,553 --> 00:02:47,177
Um...
72
00:02:47,178 --> 00:02:50,439
Oh! Oh, no, no, no. I'm
not gonna tell you that.
73
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,245
That's... you're gonna think it's lame.
74
00:02:52,246 --> 00:02:53,932
No. I promise I won't.
Go on. You got to tell me.
75
00:02:53,933 --> 00:02:55,856
I've always wanted to ride a bus.
76
00:02:55,857 --> 00:02:59,184
Oh, I lied. That is horribly lame.
77
00:02:59,185 --> 00:03:02,720
Um, is there anything less sad
that you've always wanted to do?
78
00:03:02,721 --> 00:03:04,582
Uh, ooh! We could go to a strip club.
79
00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:06,264
Ah, no, no, no.
80
00:03:06,265 --> 00:03:11,086
Naked women slapping me in the face
with their cartoonishly large breasts?
81
00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:12,614
It's not for me, thanks.
82
00:03:12,615 --> 00:03:15,600
But if it will help you
with your emotional journey,
83
00:03:15,601 --> 00:03:17,093
then, yeah, okay. Let's do it. Okay.
84
00:03:17,094 --> 00:03:20,050
And behold. I have somewhere.
"Girls! Girls! Girls!"
85
00:03:20,051 --> 00:03:23,240
- Ooh, sounds fancy.
- I'm sure it is. Shall we?
86
00:03:23,241 --> 00:03:25,368
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
87
00:03:25,369 --> 00:03:27,360
This is exciting.
88
00:03:27,361 --> 00:03:29,475
I hope the strippers are nice. Hmm.
89
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,881
Oh, do we have to make a reservation? No.
90
00:03:32,416 --> 00:03:34,564
So, none of us have locked up
our poonani for this evening.
91
00:03:34,565 --> 00:03:35,830
That's okay.
92
00:03:35,831 --> 00:03:37,297
That just means that we're good...
93
00:03:37,298 --> 00:03:38,726
Oh, do I look...
94
00:03:39,926 --> 00:03:41,082
Wait.
95
00:03:41,149 --> 00:03:44,352
Oh, yes.
96
00:03:44,419 --> 00:03:46,787
I'm gonna use Tom's
failure to my advantage.
97
00:03:46,855 --> 00:03:47,989
What are you thinking?
98
00:03:48,056 --> 00:03:49,190
I'm thinking of pulling a "Double Asian."
99
00:03:49,257 --> 00:03:52,059
- You mean "Double Agent"?
- Tom, with your blessing,
100
00:03:52,127 --> 00:03:53,761
I'm gonna go heavily flirt with Maya
101
00:03:53,829 --> 00:03:57,832
just to get Jessica's attention
so that she then wants me again.
102
00:03:57,899 --> 00:03:59,333
Nope. You don't have my blessing.
103
00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:01,569
I don't need your blessing.
I don't know why I asked.
104
00:04:01,636 --> 00:04:03,237
I'm above you on the friendship tree.
105
00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:06,674
Gentlemen, sit back and
watch the "Double Asian."
106
00:04:06,742 --> 00:04:07,742
[Slurps]
107
00:04:08,609 --> 00:04:10,977
It has to be "Double Agent," right?
108
00:04:11,045 --> 00:04:12,646
Yeah, of course it is.
109
00:04:12,713 --> 00:04:14,781
"Double Asian" is not even an expression.
110
00:04:14,849 --> 00:04:16,316
It's just two Asian people.
111
00:04:16,384 --> 00:04:19,152
- I know how to get you one.
- Fab: [Gasps] Oh, my God!
112
00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:20,353
It's Dr. Eli Gold.
113
00:04:20,421 --> 00:04:21,655
Oh.
114
00:04:21,722 --> 00:04:23,089
Oh. Ooh.
115
00:04:23,157 --> 00:04:24,524
Hey. Come here.
116
00:04:24,592 --> 00:04:26,359
Hey. You were just
talking to my gynecologist.
117
00:04:26,427 --> 00:04:28,695
- Dr. Eli Gold? He's my gyno, too.
- Yes.
118
00:04:28,763 --> 00:04:30,497
Wha... He comes in here all the time.
119
00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:31,898
Jessica: Oh. He's beautiful.
120
00:04:31,966 --> 00:04:34,000
I know.
121
00:04:34,068 --> 00:04:36,970
Is it weird having a hot guy
tinkering around down there?
122
00:04:37,038 --> 00:04:39,606
- No, it's awesome.
- Oh, I love it!
123
00:04:39,674 --> 00:04:42,309
I mean, it makes everything
better... giggle more.
124
00:04:42,376 --> 00:04:44,044
His voice is soft like a lullaby.
125
00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:45,946
I see him once a month.
Oh, sometimes twice.
126
00:04:46,013 --> 00:04:47,347
It's wonderful.
127
00:04:47,415 --> 00:04:50,049
You guys actually,
like, like your gyno?
128
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:54,386
Okay, I have had the hugest crush on
him ever since my first pregnancy scare.
129
00:04:54,454 --> 00:04:56,355
- There. I said it.
- Me, too.
130
00:04:56,423 --> 00:04:59,792
It's just so too bad that he's
not allowed to date his patients.
131
00:04:59,859 --> 00:05:01,126
It's truly tragic.
132
00:05:01,194 --> 00:05:03,195
News flash... I think
that's just a recommendation.
133
00:05:03,263 --> 00:05:04,396
I don't think that's real.
134
00:05:04,464 --> 00:05:05,764
- What?!
- What?!
135
00:05:05,832 --> 00:05:09,067
Yeah, I mean, it's just... Go
talk to him. See what happens.
136
00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:14,206
Oh. Oh.
137
00:05:14,274 --> 00:05:16,809
I mean, you saw him
first, so if you want to...
138
00:05:16,876 --> 00:05:19,611
Okay, cool. Thanks.
139
00:05:19,679 --> 00:05:20,612
She's fast.
140
00:05:26,219 --> 00:05:28,120
Hey. How's it going?
141
00:05:28,188 --> 00:05:29,088
Excuse me. Oh.
142
00:05:29,155 --> 00:05:30,756
- How are you?
- Great. Thank you.
143
00:05:30,824 --> 00:05:32,224
How's that scotch I bought you?
144
00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:33,392
It's good. Thanks.
145
00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:35,494
Good. Very good.
146
00:05:37,764 --> 00:05:40,833
- Oh, okay. Who's the girl?
- What's that?
147
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:42,301
You actually think that flirting with me
148
00:05:42,368 --> 00:05:44,403
is gonna make some chick jealous
enough to have sex with you?
149
00:05:44,471 --> 00:05:45,704
[Chuckles]
150
00:05:45,772 --> 00:05:47,372
I know. I don't believe
it, either, but it works.
151
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,475
Yeah, who you working?
152
00:05:49,542 --> 00:05:51,710
You working the girl with
the major eye wound? No.
153
00:05:51,778 --> 00:05:55,747
But patchy is a good backup plan, so
thank you very much for that. [Chuckles]
154
00:05:55,815 --> 00:05:57,216
I'm actually going for the
blonde, curly haired girl.
155
00:05:57,283 --> 00:05:58,484
Oh, Jessica? Mm-hmm.
156
00:05:58,551 --> 00:06:00,452
Oh, but, honey, she's beautiful.
157
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,354
So we all know how that's gonna end up.
158
00:06:02,422 --> 00:06:03,655
Yeah, you're right. Mm-hmm.
159
00:06:03,723 --> 00:06:06,625
I should be talking to a much hotter
girl than you to get her jealous.
160
00:06:06,693 --> 00:06:08,594
Oh, yeah. You... really?
161
00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:11,764
You think some sort of sad reverse
psychology's gonna work on me? Okay.
162
00:06:11,831 --> 00:06:13,899
Come on. Seriously.
163
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:17,169
Play along. It'll be fun. Mnh-Mnh.
164
00:06:17,237 --> 00:06:19,371
Listen, there's no shame in
admitting that you can't pull it off.
165
00:06:19,439 --> 00:06:20,539
Oh, yeah. That's what it is.
166
00:06:20,607 --> 00:06:22,808
All right, uh, it was
good to see you again.
167
00:06:26,612 --> 00:06:30,282
Oh, my God, Bruce! You are so bad!
168
00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:33,251
What are you doing, crazy?
169
00:06:33,319 --> 00:06:34,586
Are you gonna sit down,
170
00:06:34,654 --> 00:06:36,121
or are you gonna stand there
and just look like a moron?
171
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:38,957
Okay, I like this.
172
00:06:39,025 --> 00:06:40,091
[Chuckles]
173
00:06:40,159 --> 00:06:42,527
Yes, I am bad! Yes! Yes! Mm.
174
00:06:42,595 --> 00:06:45,563
Would you like to have
unprotected sex with me?! Oh!
175
00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:48,533
No one should ever have
unprotected sex. It's so dangerous
176
00:06:57,594 --> 00:07:00,696
Here we are... Girls! Girls! Girls!
177
00:07:00,764 --> 00:07:01,931
[Gasps]
178
00:07:01,999 --> 00:07:04,667
It's like a fairy tale.
179
00:07:04,735 --> 00:07:06,202
[Women scream] Announcer:
And now, on the main stage...
180
00:07:06,269 --> 00:07:08,337
Why are there so many women here? Whoa.
181
00:07:08,405 --> 00:07:11,273
Captain Jake Longstaff.
182
00:07:11,341 --> 00:07:13,709
Oh, no.
183
00:07:13,777 --> 00:07:15,778
Oh, I love space!
184
00:07:15,846 --> 00:07:18,881
Liv, I'm sorry. We've
made a massive mistake.
185
00:07:18,949 --> 00:07:21,684
What are you talking
about? I love this place.
186
00:07:21,752 --> 00:07:24,520
Take it all off, Captain Longstaff!
187
00:07:25,956 --> 00:07:27,556
He did.
188
00:07:28,624 --> 00:07:32,193
Dr. Gold, it's Fab Dawson. Hey.
189
00:07:32,261 --> 00:07:34,529
Fab, hey. How's your vagina?
190
00:07:34,597 --> 00:07:35,497
Uh... Just kidding.
191
00:07:35,564 --> 00:07:36,932
Oh. [Laughs]
192
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:39,100
I say that to all my patients
to make it less awkward.
193
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,535
Can I sit?
194
00:07:40,603 --> 00:07:41,736
- Please, sit down.
- Thank you.
195
00:07:41,804 --> 00:07:43,004
Do you want something to drink?
196
00:07:43,072 --> 00:07:44,306
Oh, no. I'm good, thanks.
197
00:07:44,373 --> 00:07:45,941
Okay. Hey. Yeah?
198
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:48,410
- Great checkup last time.
- Oh, thank you.
199
00:07:48,477 --> 00:07:50,612
Your ovaries... Of the charts.
200
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,614
Oh, I bet you say that to all the girls.
201
00:07:52,682 --> 00:07:54,816
I don't. Some of my
patients are really sick.
202
00:07:56,719 --> 00:07:58,320
You have great bangs, by the way.
203
00:07:58,387 --> 00:07:59,588
Thank you.
204
00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:01,223
Yeah, I'm sorry I never
noticed them before.
205
00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:03,058
It's okay. Not usually
looking at your face.
206
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,426
Oh.
207
00:08:04,493 --> 00:08:05,560
[Both laugh]
208
00:08:05,628 --> 00:08:07,028
So, you come here often?
209
00:08:07,096 --> 00:08:10,398
I... I do. I do, actually. All the time.
210
00:08:10,966 --> 00:08:12,400
Yeah, well, you're office is nearby, so...
211
00:08:12,468 --> 00:08:16,337
Yeah, I also... I kind of have a
thing for one of the waitresses here.
212
00:08:16,405 --> 00:08:18,439
Oh? Yeah.
213
00:08:18,507 --> 00:08:20,742
Well, that's adorable. Yeah.
214
00:08:21,809 --> 00:08:23,210
It's not Kacey, is it?
215
00:08:23,277 --> 00:08:26,313
It is. Do you know her? Isn't she amazing?
216
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,381
Mm.
217
00:08:27,448 --> 00:08:29,249
Would you ask her about me?
218
00:08:29,317 --> 00:08:32,652
What? You want me to poke around,
see how she's feeling inside?
219
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,255
- Yes.
- Yeah.
220
00:08:35,323 --> 00:08:37,057
- Wait. Was that a joke?
- Yes.
221
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,026
- I'll see you on Tuesday?
- You will.
222
00:08:39,093 --> 00:08:41,061
Cool.
223
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,863
[Chuckles] Behind me.
224
00:08:42,930 --> 00:08:45,032
So when does a double agent end?
225
00:08:45,099 --> 00:08:46,967
Relax. He's just pretending.
226
00:08:47,035 --> 00:08:49,336
Like that? Huh? Huh? Huh? [Laughs]
227
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,470
Oh, so he's just pretend dry-humping her?
228
00:08:50,538 --> 00:08:51,938
He's not actually dry-humping her?
229
00:08:52,006 --> 00:08:53,974
Right. And now he's
pretend biting her hair.
230
00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:55,976
Mm. Mmm.
231
00:08:56,044 --> 00:08:58,812
232
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,680
Liv: I'm really glad we came here.
233
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:03,817
I feel like my life is getting
started over on the right foot.
234
00:09:03,885 --> 00:09:07,220
235
00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:09,823
It's probably gonna take a while, you know,
236
00:09:09,891 --> 00:09:16,572
and it's okay to be sad or confused
or very, very drunk for a bit.
237
00:09:16,573 --> 00:09:18,498
[Chuckles] Yeah, okay. Thanks.
238
00:09:18,566 --> 00:09:21,134
[Women screaming]
239
00:09:21,202 --> 00:09:23,537
240
00:09:24,604 --> 00:09:26,339
Shall I go get us some drinks?
241
00:09:26,406 --> 00:09:27,440
Yeah, go get lots. Lots.
242
00:09:27,507 --> 00:09:28,741
- Okay, don't touch anything.
- Okay.
243
00:09:28,809 --> 00:09:30,209
244
00:09:30,277 --> 00:09:32,778
Dr. Eli Gold likes me?
245
00:09:32,846 --> 00:09:34,513
Yeah. I don't get it, either.
246
00:09:34,581 --> 00:09:38,184
Oh, no. But I sort of met someone tonight.
247
00:09:38,251 --> 00:09:40,219
But he's no Dr. Eli Gold!
248
00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:43,856
I mean, how could he choose you... wait.
249
00:09:43,924 --> 00:09:46,158
You guys don't think it's
'cause of my business, do you?
250
00:09:46,226 --> 00:09:47,693
Jessica: No. No, no. Unh-unh.
No, I'm sure it's not.
251
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:48,861
- Definitely.
- Fab: Well, what... What else could it be?
252
00:09:48,929 --> 00:09:50,529
That's all he knows about me.
253
00:09:50,597 --> 00:09:52,298
He didn't even know I had bangs.
254
00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:54,467
Oh. Oh. Ooh. Yeah.
255
00:09:54,534 --> 00:09:56,602
Well, I have to bring him his drink.
256
00:09:56,670 --> 00:09:59,472
I'll just go over there and ask
him if your business is disgusting.
257
00:09:59,539 --> 00:10:00,840
What? No.
258
00:10:01,975 --> 00:10:04,777
Okay, fine. Go ask him. But be subtle.
259
00:10:05,979 --> 00:10:07,913
[Women screaming]
260
00:10:07,981 --> 00:10:09,181
261
00:10:10,349 --> 00:10:12,036
Excuse me.
262
00:10:12,037 --> 00:10:14,853
Ooh, I love it.
263
00:10:14,921 --> 00:10:16,588
Sexy businessman, right?
264
00:10:16,656 --> 00:10:19,124
Hey, Delores, check it
out! Sexy businessman.
265
00:10:19,192 --> 00:10:22,794
Whoo-hoo! Dance, businessman.
Dance. Ooh, wow. Oh!
266
00:10:22,862 --> 00:10:23,995
Ron: Ladies, please.
267
00:10:24,063 --> 00:10:25,697
God, it's like being
molested by "The View."
268
00:10:25,765 --> 00:10:28,266
I'm not a sexy businessman.
269
00:10:28,334 --> 00:10:31,036
I mean, I am, obviously,
but I don't work here.
270
00:10:31,103 --> 00:10:32,170
Good God! Behave yourselves!
271
00:10:32,238 --> 00:10:34,072
You are mothers! [Indistinct shouting]
272
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:37,175
273
00:10:41,047 --> 00:10:42,647
- Hey.
- Nothing.
274
00:10:42,715 --> 00:10:45,217
Just, real quick. Are we
still on for closing time?
275
00:10:45,284 --> 00:10:46,218
Yes, of course we are.
276
00:10:46,285 --> 00:10:47,719
Okay, yeah. Why wouldn't we be?
277
00:10:47,787 --> 00:10:49,187
[Chuckles] I don't
know why I'm asking that.
278
00:10:49,255 --> 00:10:51,590
Hey, okay, listen... So my friend Tom,
279
00:10:51,657 --> 00:10:53,758
he is, uh, really anxious
about this girl that he likes,
280
00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:55,393
and I'd really like to order him a shot.
281
00:10:55,461 --> 00:10:57,028
Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah.
282
00:10:57,096 --> 00:10:59,531
What, um, kind of Tequila?
283
00:10:59,599 --> 00:11:01,233
Um, I don't... you know, I don't
know. Something nice. You pick.
284
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,634
All right, I'll surprise you.
285
00:11:02,702 --> 00:11:04,903
Thank you so much.
286
00:11:07,406 --> 00:11:08,806
[Chuckles] Okay,
she's still not watching.
287
00:11:08,874 --> 00:11:10,475
Come on. Sell it.
288
00:11:10,542 --> 00:11:12,377
[Both laugh] What?
289
00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:16,347
Oh, my gosh. You're so funny and hot.
290
00:11:16,415 --> 00:11:18,016
[Chuckles] Don't oversell it.
291
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:20,852
She's not stupid, so...
Marry me, you big red idiot.
292
00:11:20,919 --> 00:11:22,153
[Both laugh] Go on.
293
00:11:22,221 --> 00:11:23,221
[Sighs]
294
00:11:23,288 --> 00:11:24,689
She's on the hook.
295
00:11:24,757 --> 00:11:26,424
- The Asian has landed.
- I don't think she's Asian.
296
00:11:26,492 --> 00:11:28,059
[Both chuckle]
297
00:11:28,127 --> 00:11:29,961
So, now lean in closer and
use more intimate tones,
298
00:11:30,029 --> 00:11:32,563
if you don't mind, okay?
Okay. [Clears throat]
299
00:11:32,631 --> 00:11:33,898
Um, then, honestly,
300
00:11:33,966 --> 00:11:35,566
uh, if I don't get a
chance to thank you later,
301
00:11:35,634 --> 00:11:37,201
I really appreciate you doing this.
302
00:11:37,269 --> 00:11:39,170
Oh, no problem.
303
00:11:39,238 --> 00:11:40,505
No, you're doing an amazing job.
304
00:11:40,572 --> 00:11:42,340
I've literally never seen
a girl this into me before.
305
00:11:43,108 --> 00:11:44,975
Oh, that's so sad.
306
00:11:45,043 --> 00:11:46,143
What did you take? Summer stock?
307
00:11:46,211 --> 00:11:47,344
Maybe an improv class or something?
308
00:11:47,412 --> 00:11:51,482
Um, no. I'm just a girl. And all
girls know how to fake interest in men.
309
00:11:51,549 --> 00:11:53,183
[Chuckles] Trust me. I've faked
interest in far worse than you.
310
00:11:53,251 --> 00:11:55,786
You're actually not 100% terrible.
311
00:11:55,854 --> 00:11:58,122
Oh, really? Mnh-Mnh. Yeah.
312
00:11:58,189 --> 00:12:00,591
You're... really funny.
313
00:12:00,658 --> 00:12:02,493
[Both laugh]
314
00:12:04,262 --> 00:12:05,162
Man: Here's you drinks.
315
00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:06,263
[Chuckles] Thank you.
316
00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:08,899
Oh! Watch out. That's a party.
317
00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:10,567
Oh, hello, Mexico.
318
00:12:10,635 --> 00:12:13,203
Of course! Mmm! Mm.
319
00:12:13,271 --> 00:12:15,038
If this keeps going, I
might have to, you know,
320
00:12:15,106 --> 00:12:17,241
- say something to Bruce about it.
- Uh-oh, Tijuana time.
321
00:12:17,308 --> 00:12:20,511
Probably wait till tomorrow, you know,
when I've had some time to reflect.
322
00:12:20,578 --> 00:12:21,912
Come on, Bubba. You know... [sighs]
323
00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:23,680
Maya's way too hot for him.
324
00:12:23,748 --> 00:12:24,982
Those two could never happen.
325
00:12:25,049 --> 00:12:26,049
[Both laugh]
326
00:12:26,717 --> 00:12:28,785
Actually, I was wrong.
327
00:12:28,853 --> 00:12:30,687
Bruce landed surprisingly
hot women all the time.
328
00:12:30,755 --> 00:12:33,323
He landed his hot tutor in college.
329
00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:35,825
Your Essay has tons of typos.
330
00:12:35,893 --> 00:12:39,796
Really? Take your dress off.
331
00:12:39,864 --> 00:12:41,498
What?
332
00:12:41,565 --> 00:12:43,566
He landed his hot boss at work.
333
00:12:43,634 --> 00:12:44,767
[Indistinct conversations]
334
00:12:44,835 --> 00:12:46,769
Bruce: You want to have sex later?
335
00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:48,571
You know I can fire you, right?
336
00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:50,073
Yes. I'm well aware. But I don't care.
337
00:12:50,141 --> 00:12:51,441
I don't even know what we do here.
338
00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:53,943
[Elephant trumpets]
339
00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:55,678
He even landed a hot woman at the zoo.
340
00:12:55,746 --> 00:12:57,013
Bruce: Hey, there.
341
00:12:57,081 --> 00:12:59,582
I'm Bruce, and I'm never
gonna stop talking to you.
342
00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:01,117
[Both laugh]
343
00:13:01,885 --> 00:13:04,653
As for Maya, she usually
dated incredibly attractive,
344
00:13:04,721 --> 00:13:08,190
painfully dull professional athletes.
345
00:13:08,258 --> 00:13:10,693
What's my favorite sandwich?
346
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,628
Easy. Hamburger.
347
00:13:12,696 --> 00:13:15,965
Didn't ask you that question,
and that's not a sandwich.
348
00:13:16,032 --> 00:13:17,800
In moments like these, Maya wondered
349
00:13:17,868 --> 00:13:20,970
if she shouldn't be dating
a different kind of guy.
350
00:13:21,037 --> 00:13:23,138
[Both laugh]
351
00:13:23,206 --> 00:13:24,573
You're so funny.
352
00:13:24,641 --> 00:13:26,108
- Maya: Oh, my gosh.
- You're right.
353
00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:27,743
Bruce and Maya could never happen.
354
00:13:27,811 --> 00:13:28,944
[Chuckles] Come here.
355
00:13:29,012 --> 00:13:30,279
Ah. [Grunts]
356
00:13:31,514 --> 00:13:32,915
Mmm. Mm-hmm. Mm. Ah.
357
00:13:32,983 --> 00:13:35,317
Who eats limes like that? Who?
358
00:13:43,064 --> 00:13:44,426
359
00:13:44,427 --> 00:13:46,166
[Women screaming]
360
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:48,902
Hey, girl. You want to dance?
361
00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:50,204
Oh, yeah, sure.
362
00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:52,172
This is my first time
at a strip club, though.
363
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,708
I'm kind of starting my life over again.
364
00:13:54,776 --> 00:13:56,210
Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.
365
00:13:56,277 --> 00:13:58,612
Me, too. [Women scream]
366
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,581
I quit the law firm last
year, started working here.
367
00:14:00,648 --> 00:14:02,182
Oh, my God! You're a lawyer?
368
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,317
I'm a lawyer!
369
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,686
I had to get off that hamster wheel.
370
00:14:05,753 --> 00:14:10,278
You know, my fianc?e, she wasn't too happy
about that, so I had to let her go, too.
371
00:14:10,279 --> 00:14:13,132
[Gasps] I just broke
up with my fianc?e, too.
372
00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:14,595
Wow. We have a lot in common.
373
00:14:15,362 --> 00:14:18,698
Yeah. We really do.
374
00:14:18,766 --> 00:14:20,500
So, do you have any regrets?
375
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,102
Yeah, I mean, pretty
much lonely all the time.
376
00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:24,370
It would have been nice
377
00:14:24,438 --> 00:14:26,406
to have someone in my
life when my mom died.
378
00:14:26,473 --> 00:14:27,874
Oh.
379
00:14:27,942 --> 00:14:29,909
Can we please get out
of this horrible place?
380
00:14:29,977 --> 00:14:31,344
Yes!
381
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,012
Hey, wait in line, buddy. Yeah. Excuse me.
382
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,447
Hey, where are you going?
Sorry your mom died!
383
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,317
Hey.
384
00:14:37,384 --> 00:14:39,085
Hey. Thanks.
385
00:14:39,153 --> 00:14:41,054
Look. Fab told me what you said.
386
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:42,922
And?
387
00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:45,325
And...
388
00:14:45,792 --> 00:14:47,393
I like you, Dr. Gold.
389
00:14:47,461 --> 00:14:50,630
You have kind eyes and warm hands,
390
00:14:50,697 --> 00:14:54,867
you always say exactly what you're gonna
do right before you do it, which is rare.
391
00:14:54,935 --> 00:15:00,907
I just think I met someone amazing
tonight, and if it's all the same to you,
392
00:15:00,974 --> 00:15:03,809
I would like to keep
our relationship focused
393
00:15:03,877 --> 00:15:06,445
on my vagina and not on my heart.
394
00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:08,881
Okay.
395
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,183
If that's what you want.
396
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:15,221
Oh! Before I forget.
397
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,156
Fab wants to know if her
business is disgusting.
398
00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,627
[Zipper opens]
399
00:15:22,695 --> 00:15:24,596
Bruce: I'm in too deep, Cal.
400
00:15:24,664 --> 00:15:26,364
Cal: Bruce, you got to get a grip.
401
00:15:26,432 --> 00:15:27,666
I know, dude, but I don't know
402
00:15:27,733 --> 00:15:29,334
where the game ends and
I begin anymore, man.
403
00:15:29,402 --> 00:15:30,702
I mean, I think I like this chick.
404
00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:32,804
She's super-hot, she definitely likes me.
405
00:15:32,872 --> 00:15:34,072
Bruce, that's Tommy's girl.
406
00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:35,707
Yeah, but is it Tommy's girl? Like, really?
407
00:15:35,775 --> 00:15:37,576
He got her number five, six hours ago.
408
00:15:37,643 --> 00:15:38,710
How long do dibs last?
409
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:40,678
Longer than five hours.
410
00:15:40,746 --> 00:15:42,847
Okay, look, pal. I'm doing Tommy a favor.
411
00:15:42,915 --> 00:15:44,849
That broad is a sexual Terminator.
412
00:15:44,917 --> 00:15:46,450
She's gonna rip him to pieces.
413
00:15:46,518 --> 00:15:47,985
He'll have no idea what's coming at him.
414
00:15:48,053 --> 00:15:50,154
He'll be hiding under the bed
like a dog in a thunder storm.
415
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:53,591
I agree, man, but you can't
do this to him right now.
416
00:15:53,659 --> 00:15:54,725
Enough. The deal is done.
417
00:15:54,793 --> 00:15:55,960
I've already told my Johnson.
418
00:15:56,028 --> 00:15:57,228
Well, can't you un-tell your Johnson?
419
00:15:57,296 --> 00:15:58,629
No. He won't return my calls.
420
00:15:58,697 --> 00:16:02,033
I'm just gonna bang this chick, and
Tommy's gonna thank me afterwards.
421
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,135
Trust me. It'll bring us closer.
422
00:16:06,805 --> 00:16:08,739
Don't be nervous. It's gonna be fine.
423
00:16:08,807 --> 00:16:10,074
Oh, my God. What did he say?
424
00:16:10,142 --> 00:16:11,108
Am I okay?
425
00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:14,979
He said your business is...
426
00:16:15,047 --> 00:16:17,815
Amazing! Oh!
427
00:16:18,583 --> 00:16:21,018
He said, and I quote,
"top five of all time."
428
00:16:21,085 --> 00:16:22,152
Wow. Good for you, honey.
429
00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:24,354
Yeah, he said the whole office thinks so.
430
00:16:24,422 --> 00:16:26,557
Honestly, he could not
stop raving about it.
431
00:16:26,624 --> 00:16:29,526
[Chuckling] Oh, my God! Wait a second.
432
00:16:29,594 --> 00:16:32,329
If he loves it so much,
why isn't he into me?
433
00:16:33,431 --> 00:16:36,099
Oh, he said you're a terrible person.
434
00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:37,901
Oh.
435
00:16:39,003 --> 00:16:42,072
Just because some nude fake policeman
436
00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:44,708
made some dreadful life choices
doesn't mean you did, as well.
437
00:16:44,776 --> 00:16:46,009
[Sighs]
438
00:16:46,077 --> 00:16:48,845
I threw away a really
good guy, and for what?
439
00:16:49,413 --> 00:16:51,014
So I could go to Girls! Girls! Girls!?
440
00:16:51,082 --> 00:16:52,215
[Groans]
441
00:16:52,283 --> 00:16:55,085
I'm still infuriated
that they call it that.
442
00:16:55,152 --> 00:16:58,421
Look, I get it. I'm
starting again, as well.
443
00:16:58,489 --> 00:17:01,691
The future is very scary,
but it's also very exciting.
444
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:04,194
Amazing things can happen
when you least expect them.
445
00:17:04,261 --> 00:17:05,495
Yeah, like what?
446
00:17:05,563 --> 00:17:08,031
Come on, really? Like when I met you.
447
00:17:08,099 --> 00:17:13,937
In an instant, the worst day of my
life became one of the better ones.
448
00:17:14,005 --> 00:17:19,309
And then this little animated
bird started singing on my shoulder
449
00:17:19,377 --> 00:17:23,446
and I danced through the streets
with the children of New York.
450
00:17:23,514 --> 00:17:25,015
[Chuckles]
451
00:17:27,151 --> 00:17:30,653
Look, Liv, I know we've
only just met tonight,
452
00:17:30,721 --> 00:17:33,323
but whatever you need
to get through all this,
453
00:17:33,391 --> 00:17:34,591
I really want to help with.
454
00:17:34,658 --> 00:17:36,126
Even if that means, like, giving you space,
455
00:17:36,193 --> 00:17:38,294
I will wait for you.
456
00:17:40,164 --> 00:17:41,898
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
457
00:17:41,966 --> 00:17:43,566
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
458
00:17:43,634 --> 00:17:45,335
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
459
00:17:45,403 --> 00:17:47,003
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
460
00:17:47,071 --> 00:17:48,471
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
461
00:17:48,539 --> 00:17:50,106
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
462
00:17:50,974 --> 00:17:52,942
You could have really
cleaned up in that place.
463
00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:55,211
Oh, actually, I did.
464
00:17:55,278 --> 00:17:56,212
[Chuckles]
465
00:17:56,279 --> 00:17:57,213
Look at this.
466
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,647
Oh! What?!
467
00:17:58,715 --> 00:18:00,816
Some serious coin. And that.
468
00:18:00,884 --> 00:18:03,986
I should have grabbed a job
application on the way out. [Laughs]
469
00:18:07,124 --> 00:18:08,958
Hey. Hey.
470
00:18:09,025 --> 00:18:10,326
Hey, look, I know this started
471
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,228
as, like, a game or whatever,
but somewhere along the way,
472
00:18:12,295 --> 00:18:16,332
real life kicked in, and I want to know
if you're down to come back to my place.
473
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:18,501
Because I would really love to
show you my ninja-sword collectio...
474
00:18:18,568 --> 00:18:19,935
Oh, my God!
475
00:18:20,003 --> 00:18:21,637
Ow! Dude! What are you doing?
476
00:18:21,705 --> 00:18:23,472
That really hurt... A lot!
477
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:24,540
You know I like her.
478
00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:27,209
I'm sorry, Tom. Geez.
479
00:18:27,277 --> 00:18:29,678
Just don't punch me again. God.
480
00:18:29,746 --> 00:18:30,813
Ow.
481
00:18:31,981 --> 00:18:33,081
I'm really sorry you had to see that.
482
00:18:33,148 --> 00:18:34,182
Are... are you okay?
483
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,150
Yeah, no. I'm... I'm good.
484
00:18:36,218 --> 00:18:38,453
Okay.
485
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,256
Hey, Rocky.
486
00:18:41,323 --> 00:18:42,657
Why don't you stay and have a drink?
487
00:18:42,725 --> 00:18:45,960
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
488
00:18:48,063 --> 00:18:50,765
Hey, uh, scotch on the
rocks. Hold the rocks.
489
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:52,600
It's fine. That's good.
The punch was enough.
490
00:18:52,668 --> 00:18:55,436
Ah, thank God. Ice water with
two lemons, please. Thanks.
491
00:18:56,872 --> 00:18:59,107
So?
492
00:19:00,943 --> 00:19:03,011
Mission accomplished.
493
00:19:03,078 --> 00:19:06,047
Bruce had pulled the perfect double agent.
494
00:19:06,115 --> 00:19:08,316
It all started with the setup.
495
00:19:08,384 --> 00:19:09,851
Bruce: Wait.
496
00:19:09,919 --> 00:19:13,588
Tom, with your blessing, I'm
gonna go heavily flirt with Maya
497
00:19:13,656 --> 00:19:17,625
just to get Jessica's attention
so that she then wants me again.
498
00:19:17,693 --> 00:19:19,093
Nope. You don't have my blessing.
499
00:19:20,561 --> 00:19:23,430
Then he got Tom on the hook.
500
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,398
If this keeps going, I
might have to, you know,
501
00:19:25,466 --> 00:19:27,367
say something to Bruce about it. Ahh!
502
00:19:27,435 --> 00:19:30,003
Then Bruce turned up the heat.
503
00:19:30,071 --> 00:19:31,304
He's in the bathroom. Let's go.
504
00:19:31,372 --> 00:19:32,372
Okay.
505
00:19:34,809 --> 00:19:36,042
I'm in too deep, Cal.
506
00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:37,711
You've got to get a grip, Bruce.
507
00:19:37,778 --> 00:19:39,913
Then the big finish.
508
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:41,147
Show you my ninja-sword collectio...
509
00:19:41,215 --> 00:19:44,017
[Grunts] He played Tom perfectly.
510
00:19:44,485 --> 00:19:47,274
Good for you, man. Taking
a punch to get Tommy laid?
511
00:19:47,275 --> 00:19:50,376
He wasn't locking down his poontash,
so drastic action was required.
512
00:19:50,377 --> 00:19:52,104
Okay, so when are you gonna
tell him it was all a setup?
513
00:19:52,105 --> 00:19:54,958
In a bit. Let's let the boy
dream a little while longer.
514
00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:57,871
Is it possible that you're
actually a good person?
515
00:19:57,872 --> 00:19:59,388
Of course I'm a good person.
516
00:19:59,389 --> 00:20:01,556
Everything I do, I do for you guys.
517
00:20:02,069 --> 00:20:03,002
- Hey.
- Hey.
518
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,036
Hey. What's up?
519
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:07,507
So, uh, got you some ice...
520
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,841
Oh... For your...
521
00:20:08,909 --> 00:20:10,943
Is there anything else
you want to put on my face?
522
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:13,646
[Chuckles] So, I saw you with Maya,
523
00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:18,718
and I got to say that for one tiny
second, you were 1% more attractive.
524
00:20:18,786 --> 00:20:19,719
What did I start at?
525
00:20:19,787 --> 00:20:21,354
Uh, 1%.
526
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,356
Really?
527
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,057
That means I'm up 100%.
528
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,961
God, it's embarrassing
how much you want me.
529
00:20:29,029 --> 00:20:30,029
Should we just get a cab now?
530
00:20:30,097 --> 00:20:32,665
It's not even last call, dude.
531
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:34,834
Last call! Last call for alcohol!
532
00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:50,126
- You need a drink.
- Yes. Yes.
533
00:20:50,193 --> 00:20:53,292
We just came back from a
male strip club called...
534
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,449
- Don't... Don't tell him that.
- Girls! Girls! Girls!
535
00:20:55,450 --> 00:20:56,698
[Chuckling] Hey, I used to work there.
536
00:20:56,699 --> 00:20:58,363
What? No.
537
00:20:58,364 --> 00:21:01,500
From 2009 to 2010, I was a sexy plumber.
538
00:21:01,501 --> 00:21:05,749
Then in 2012, I took the main stage...
539
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,709
Why would you stop?
540
00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:11,334
______
541
00:21:11,335 --> 00:21:16,144
Everytime I take the stage we were only...
542
00:21:16,145 --> 00:21:18,425
And the clouths off...
543
00:21:18,426 --> 00:21:19,944
For money...
544
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:22,680
It's incredibly demean.
545
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:25,425
OMG! Now I feel terrible!
546
00:21:25,426 --> 00:21:27,720
[Laughing] I totally kidding!
547
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:29,969
I love being a stripper, it's
the best thing in the world.
548
00:21:29,970 --> 00:21:31,610
I just got tired of [beep] old chicks.
549
00:21:31,611 --> 00:21:32,822
Can I get you anything?
550
00:21:32,823 --> 00:21:36,053
Maybe some...
551
00:21:36,054 --> 00:21:38,158
Sync and corrected by thatjulio
www.addic7ed.com
552
00:21:38,208 --> 00:21:42,758
Repair and Synchronization by
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