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1
00:00:07,282 --> 00:00:09,925
Kids, on my first day
as a college professor,
2
00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:12,803
there were two things
I didn't know that I wish I did.
3
00:00:14,244 --> 00:00:17,182
The first thing was that your mother
was in that classroom.
4
00:00:20,902 --> 00:00:21,979
The second thing?
5
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:25,566
To explain that, we have to go back
to the beginning of the summer,
6
00:00:26,028 --> 00:00:28,786
when, after a year of wrestling
with their feelings for each other,
7
00:00:28,911 --> 00:00:31,047
Barney and Robin finally, well...
8
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,577
- Use your indoor "whoo".
- Sorry!
9
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,632
It's just they kissed!
They're finally a couple.
10
00:00:41,137 --> 00:00:44,391
Oh, my God, you guys!
This is our first double date!
11
00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:47,404
First of millions!
What if our kids get married!
12
00:00:47,529 --> 00:00:48,629
I love this!
13
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:51,967
Lily, listen.
14
00:00:52,387 --> 00:00:56,352
- Barney's awesome.
- Robin's more than just awe-"some".
15
00:00:56,477 --> 00:00:58,205
She's awe-"quite a bit".
16
00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:00,280
She's awe-"a whole darn lot".
17
00:01:00,405 --> 00:01:02,311
Wait, what are you saying?
18
00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:04,838
We're just not feeling it right now.
19
00:01:04,963 --> 00:01:06,857
But we'll totally still be friends.
20
00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:10,486
Is it something I did?
21
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,561
God, no.
Lily, it's not you.
22
00:01:13,686 --> 00:01:15,606
- It's... It's us.
- Yeah. It's us.
23
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,242
You understand, right?
24
00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:19,223
Sure, of course.
25
00:01:20,050 --> 00:01:22,122
As long as you're happy, I'm happy.
26
00:01:23,902 --> 00:01:27,054
We were gonna take
cooking lessons together
27
00:01:27,179 --> 00:01:30,089
and we were gonna go
on camping trips together
28
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,320
and then we were gonna sit around
telling funny stories
29
00:01:33,445 --> 00:01:36,225
about our cooking lessons
and our camping trips.
30
00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:38,092
I know, I know.
31
00:01:41,842 --> 00:01:45,226
So, has the boat sailed
on sex tonight or...
32
00:01:48,015 --> 00:01:50,634
After that, the summer
went by way too fast.
33
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:54,446
Until the Friday before my first day
as a college professor.
34
00:01:55,804 --> 00:01:56,965
What's this?
35
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,484
It's just a little something
that we got for you
36
00:01:59,609 --> 00:02:03,398
that used to belong
to my favorite professor of all time.
37
00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:08,143
A fedora.
38
00:02:13,379 --> 00:02:15,707
I'm Indiana Jones!
I'm Indiana Jones!
39
00:02:16,378 --> 00:02:19,082
That, my friend,
is the Dominator 8000,
40
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:21,615
the best bullwhip on the market,
according to my whip guy.
41
00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:24,359
Yeah, I have a whip guy.
42
00:02:25,272 --> 00:02:27,541
- You know what we should do?
- Finish our drinks,
43
00:02:27,666 --> 00:02:29,706
go out in the alley, and whip stuff.
44
00:02:30,071 --> 00:02:32,334
God, you just get me.
45
00:02:33,865 --> 00:02:35,462
I should get going.
I got a date.
46
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:38,340
- Are you still seeing that guy?
- Even better, seeing him naked.
47
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:43,019
I should go, too. I hooked up
with this Chinese girl last night,
48
00:02:43,144 --> 00:02:46,235
and I don't know, it's weird.
I already feel like seconds.
49
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,935
Okay, Ted, you got first whip!
50
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,338
All right.
51
00:02:52,828 --> 00:02:53,878
Hey, dummy.
52
00:02:54,524 --> 00:02:56,552
What did tell you
about smoking in here?
53
00:02:56,763 --> 00:02:59,559
Make him whip the habit!
I'so excited about this whip!
54
00:02:59,684 --> 00:03:02,008
I got whip fever!
Just whip him, Ted!
55
00:03:02,133 --> 00:03:04,282
Don't even aim!
Just whip him!
56
00:03:04,478 --> 00:03:06,747
- I am so sorry.
- No, it's just the whip's not a toy.
57
00:03:06,872 --> 00:03:08,812
There's such a thing
as common sense.
58
00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:12,573
- You can whip me if you want.
- I will, some other time.
59
00:03:19,924 --> 00:03:22,236
Synchro: ShalimarFox, -Titou-
60
00:03:33,132 --> 00:03:36,570
So, how long has this been going on?
61
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,191
All summer.
62
00:03:38,461 --> 00:03:40,777
I knew it!
I knew it! I knew it!
63
00:03:41,014 --> 00:03:43,488
You guys are boyfriend
and girlfriend.
64
00:03:46,409 --> 00:03:48,028
- Girlfriend?
- No. Lily...
65
00:03:48,153 --> 00:03:50,036
- Slow your roll there, Lilypad.
- Yeah.
66
00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,664
You've been together all summer.
I don't get it.
67
00:03:53,621 --> 00:03:55,708
Okay, it's like this.
After we kissed,
68
00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:57,402
we sat down to have the talk.
69
00:03:58,036 --> 00:04:01,362
- We should figure out what this is.
- Yes, we should.
70
00:04:02,126 --> 00:04:02,883
Or.
71
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:04,621
Or...
72
00:04:07,237 --> 00:04:09,273
Okay, now, we have
to figure this out.
73
00:04:09,398 --> 00:04:10,810
Yes, we do.
74
00:04:11,553 --> 00:04:12,726
Or. Or...
75
00:04:17,899 --> 00:04:21,568
We kept trying to have the talk
and then we realized we hate the talk.
76
00:04:21,819 --> 00:04:23,236
Yeah, the talk sucks.
77
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,431
You have to, like, talk.
78
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:28,771
And be all, "I don't know.
It's not that I don't like you.
79
00:04:28,896 --> 00:04:31,400
"It's that I haven't had
a girlfriend in a really long time.
80
00:04:31,525 --> 00:04:34,206
"I hope it doesn't make you mad."
Who needs it?
81
00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:35,624
You needs it.
82
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,192
Guys, you can't just keep hooking up
83
00:04:38,317 --> 00:04:40,921
and not at least try and figure out
what you mean to each other.
84
00:04:41,283 --> 00:04:44,035
Yeah, we knew you would say that.
That's why we kept it a secret.
85
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,896
Well, that and the fact
that elaborate lies really turn us on.
86
00:04:50,631 --> 00:04:53,711
You need to define the relationship.
You need to have the talk.
87
00:04:54,065 --> 00:04:55,065
Or...
88
00:04:55,459 --> 00:04:56,459
Or...
89
00:05:00,229 --> 00:05:01,775
I know what you're all thinking.
90
00:05:02,090 --> 00:05:05,340
"Who's this cool peer of mine
up in front the class?"
91
00:05:06,095 --> 00:05:09,249
Well, I know the board
says "Professor Mosby," but to you
92
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:11,578
I'm Ted
93
00:05:14,169 --> 00:05:15,821
Question. Awesome.
94
00:05:15,946 --> 00:05:17,874
- Hit it.
- Yeah, here's my question.
95
00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:20,835
"Ted", who the hell
do you think you are?
96
00:05:21,559 --> 00:05:23,004
Yeah, "Ted".
97
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:26,258
We're supposed to learn from you?
You failed as an architect.
98
00:05:26,453 --> 00:05:28,237
- Well...
- And if you're a professor,
99
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,717
- where's your hat and your whip?
- At home...
100
00:05:30,842 --> 00:05:32,472
And where are your pants?
101
00:05:38,002 --> 00:05:39,931
Oh, God.
It was awful.
102
00:05:40,056 --> 00:05:41,319
I was teaching...
103
00:05:41,444 --> 00:05:44,181
Ted, now's not a good time.
Where do you keep your condoms?
104
00:05:46,283 --> 00:05:48,321
I'm freaking out,
I don't think I can do that.
105
00:05:48,662 --> 00:05:50,548
Okay, look, mistake n�1
106
00:05:50,673 --> 00:05:52,409
was taking that girl's question.
107
00:05:52,534 --> 00:05:55,537
You don't take questions
on the first day. It shows weakness.
108
00:05:55,928 --> 00:05:58,749
Mistake n�2
was you should've hit that.
109
00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:00,706
Your pants were already off,
110
00:06:00,831 --> 00:06:02,849
you had a classroom full
of people to cheer you on,
111
00:06:02,974 --> 00:06:05,094
and you don't knock her up
'cause it's a dream.
112
00:06:05,219 --> 00:06:06,631
Class dismissed.
113
00:06:06,826 --> 00:06:08,857
Mistake n�3:
dude, where was the hat?
114
00:06:08,982 --> 00:06:11,344
Because if you're not gonna wear it,
I'm taking it back.
115
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:14,978
I think what Barney's saying
is that definitions are important.
116
00:06:15,103 --> 00:06:16,933
You're their teacher,
not their friend.
117
00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:18,059
Exactly.
118
00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:20,687
If people don't know their place,
nobody's happy.
119
00:06:20,882 --> 00:06:21,825
Amen.
120
00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:24,858
- You have to make things clear.
- Ron tell dat.
121
00:06:25,156 --> 00:06:27,068
Define the relationship.
122
00:06:28,757 --> 00:06:30,363
Lily, private convo time.
123
00:06:34,505 --> 00:06:36,161
Can't you just let us be happy?
124
00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:37,565
You're not happy.
125
00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:40,040
You just think you're happy
because you feel happy.
126
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,959
- And that's not happy?
- Of course not.
127
00:06:43,127 --> 00:06:45,045
You and Robin need to have the talk.
128
00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:46,963
Why? Give me one good reason.
129
00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:49,651
- I'll give you 20...
- You can't even think of one.
130
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:50,967
Headlights. Deer.
131
00:06:51,765 --> 00:06:53,386
Lily, for the last time,
132
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:56,811
things with me and Robin
are as good as they can possibly be.
133
00:06:56,936 --> 00:06:58,016
Brad's here.
134
00:06:59,371 --> 00:07:02,270
I've got 2 tickets to the Rangers
vs Canucksame tomorrow night.
135
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:04,773
I know you're a hockey fan,
so I was thinking...
136
00:07:07,902 --> 00:07:10,157
What do I have to do?
Put a gun to your head?
137
00:07:12,426 --> 00:07:14,522
- Buy you a six pack?
- Come on, Brad, that's...
138
00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:16,868
There's really six of them.
139
00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:21,331
- I can't.
- Why not? You have a boyfriend?
140
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:26,281
- No, no boyfriend.
- Great! It's a date.
141
00:07:31,069 --> 00:07:32,676
I just thought of a reason.
142
00:07:40,515 --> 00:07:43,271
The next night, Robin and Brad
went to a hockey game.
143
00:07:43,624 --> 00:07:46,483
You're probably wondering
why I've been quiet all night.
144
00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:49,506
Damn it, Hordichuk!
145
00:07:49,631 --> 00:07:52,075
You miss another gimme like that,
I'm gonna come down there
146
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,949
and put a slapper right up
your beerhole! Come on!
147
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:56,618
Not really.
148
00:07:57,892 --> 00:08:00,705
The truth is, I feel kind of weird
being out with you.
149
00:08:01,084 --> 00:08:03,625
Oh, man.
Is this the talk?
150
00:08:03,902 --> 00:08:05,764
- What?
- No, this is good.
151
00:08:06,029 --> 00:08:09,613
Let's get it all out of the way.
I'm looking for something serious.
152
00:08:09,802 --> 00:08:12,206
- No, Brad, no, it's...
- But before we go any further,
153
00:08:12,331 --> 00:08:15,312
you should know something
about my stuff below the belt.
154
00:08:15,611 --> 00:08:17,329
I was born a little different.
155
00:08:17,632 --> 00:08:18,632
God, no!
156
00:08:20,492 --> 00:08:23,251
- This is about me and Barney.
- You and Barn...
157
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:27,173
- So you, you guys are...
- Well, we don't know what we are.
158
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,043
I mean, my heart says
"leap into it".
159
00:08:29,168 --> 00:08:31,259
My brain says "it's a bad idea".
160
00:08:31,448 --> 00:08:33,261
Sounds like
you need to have the talk.
161
00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:35,096
We're not gonna have the talk!
162
00:08:35,285 --> 00:08:39,026
Would you just have the talk, okay?
It's a five-minute conversation,
163
00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:41,037
and then you get
to have sex afterwards.
164
00:08:41,162 --> 00:08:42,896
It's great! Back me up, Ted.
165
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,920
- I don't think the talk is necessary.
- What?
166
00:08:46,179 --> 00:08:47,234
Thank you, Ted.
167
00:08:47,423 --> 00:08:49,569
Because Robin
is already his girlfriend.
168
00:08:49,758 --> 00:08:50,758
What?!
169
00:08:51,135 --> 00:08:53,448
MacLaren's Bar, four years ago...
170
00:08:54,063 --> 00:08:56,368
How do you keep a girl
from becoming your girlfriend.
171
00:08:56,557 --> 00:08:59,537
Simple: the rules for girls
are the same as the rules for gremlins.
172
00:09:00,162 --> 00:09:02,666
- "Gremlins"?
- Gremlins. Rule n�1:
173
00:09:02,923 --> 00:09:04,442
never get them wet.
174
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:07,029
In other words, don't let her
take a shower at your place.
175
00:09:07,154 --> 00:09:09,490
N�2: keep them away from sunlight,
176
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:12,219
i.e. don't ever see them
during the day.
177
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,199
And rule n�3:
never feed them after midnight.
178
00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:16,758
Meaning she doesn't sleep over
179
00:09:16,883 --> 00:09:19,724
and you don't have breakfast
with her, ever.
180
00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:22,081
What about brunch?
Is brunch cool?
181
00:09:24,207 --> 00:09:26,157
No, Ted.
Brunch is not cool.
182
00:09:28,088 --> 00:09:30,419
OK, new topic.
How do I pick a tie?
183
00:09:30,713 --> 00:09:32,821
Simple: remember
in the movie Predator...
184
00:09:33,479 --> 00:09:36,208
I've done all three of those things
with Robin.
185
00:09:37,146 --> 00:09:38,576
Is she my girlfriend?
186
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,698
Just once, I wish you guys
would call me on Tuxedo Night.
187
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,976
Ladies and gentlemen,
time to pucker up
188
00:09:48,101 --> 00:09:50,717
for the New York Rangers Kiss Cam!
189
00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:52,664
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
190
00:09:54,288 --> 00:09:57,178
OK, how about this? If you kiss me
and you feel bad about it,
191
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:59,108
you're meant to be with Barney.
192
00:09:59,521 --> 00:10:01,121
Why not?
Lay it on me.
193
00:10:08,003 --> 00:10:08,961
Hey, Brad.
194
00:10:11,757 --> 00:10:14,145
We can't fight like this!
We both got some good shots in.
195
00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:15,600
Let's call a truce!
196
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:17,409
It's okay, dude.
197
00:10:17,644 --> 00:10:19,451
I shouldn't kiss
other guy's girlfriend.
198
00:10:21,479 --> 00:10:24,307
- Girlfriend? Come on.
- That's putting it a bit strongly.
199
00:10:24,432 --> 00:10:26,556
A bit strongly.
She's not my girlfriend.
200
00:10:26,681 --> 00:10:28,804
A girlfriend's a bit much,
Brad, okay?
201
00:10:30,016 --> 00:10:31,254
Okay, seriously.
202
00:10:31,443 --> 00:10:33,943
We're at the point
of physical violence.
203
00:10:34,245 --> 00:10:36,391
Now, will you please have the talk?
204
00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:37,870
Because of that?
205
00:10:37,995 --> 00:10:39,744
Come on. That's my thing.
206
00:10:39,869 --> 00:10:41,619
I'm always punching guys.
207
00:10:41,895 --> 00:10:44,309
Girls... I'll punch a baby.
I don't care.
208
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,667
Finally, my first class had arrived.
209
00:10:48,926 --> 00:10:50,099
For real this time.
210
00:10:50,224 --> 00:10:52,245
I knew I had to make
a strong impression.
211
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,203
I had thought of everything.
212
00:10:54,328 --> 00:10:55,320
Except...
213
00:10:55,509 --> 00:10:57,533
Wait. Does professor
have one "F" or two?
214
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,308
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
215
00:10:59,433 --> 00:11:00,433
Professor.
216
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,014
Pro-fess-or.
217
00:11:02,624 --> 00:11:04,892
They're all staring at me.
Professor.
218
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,524
I don't know.
Just do something!
219
00:11:09,118 --> 00:11:10,118
Two "F's."
220
00:11:10,744 --> 00:11:11,793
That looks right.
221
00:11:11,918 --> 00:11:13,129
I think that's right.
222
00:11:28,932 --> 00:11:30,960
Sorry, I went
a little too far last night.
223
00:11:31,129 --> 00:11:33,093
We've been over this.
Unless I say "fl�gelhorn",
224
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:34,654
you haven't gone too far.
225
00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:37,487
No, I meant punching Brad.
226
00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,681
Right. Look,
don't even worry about it.
227
00:11:40,911 --> 00:11:42,909
God.
The doorknob's broken off.
228
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,870
We're locked in here.
Did you do this?
229
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,915
Fl�gelhorn.
Did you do this?
230
00:11:53,189 --> 00:11:54,295
Are you out there?
231
00:11:54,617 --> 00:11:56,217
Ted's not here, Robin.
232
00:11:56,937 --> 00:11:58,133
Let us out of here.
233
00:11:58,367 --> 00:11:59,617
I'd be glad to.
234
00:11:59,744 --> 00:12:02,428
Just as soon as you
and Barney have the talk.
235
00:12:07,316 --> 00:12:09,299
Lily! Come on.
Let us out!
236
00:12:09,517 --> 00:12:10,926
No. Sit down,
237
00:12:11,251 --> 00:12:12,653
define the relationship,
238
00:12:12,778 --> 00:12:15,214
write down that definition
on a piece of paper,
239
00:12:15,339 --> 00:12:16,972
slip it under the door,
240
00:12:17,097 --> 00:12:19,101
and if I like what I read,
you can go.
241
00:12:19,282 --> 00:12:22,270
- We are not having the talk!
- Then you'll die in there.
242
00:12:22,596 --> 00:12:24,530
You're gonna lock us in here?
Guess what?
243
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:27,305
Maybe we'll spend
the whole day having sex!
244
00:12:27,665 --> 00:12:28,994
Well, guess what?
245
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,155
I brought Marshall with me,
so maybe we'll do the same.
246
00:12:32,759 --> 00:12:33,759
Hey, guys.
247
00:12:36,093 --> 00:12:38,787
I still hadn't decided
what kind of professor I wanted to be.
248
00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:41,569
Authoritative or cool guy.
249
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,497
I thought I would decide
in the moment.
250
00:12:43,622 --> 00:12:45,774
And I did. About 20 times.
251
00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:47,140
Good morning.
252
00:12:48,098 --> 00:12:49,198
'sup, dudes?
253
00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:50,461
Silence!
254
00:12:52,935 --> 00:12:54,393
This is architecture 101.
255
00:12:54,518 --> 00:12:56,228
I am professor Mosby.
256
00:12:57,752 --> 00:12:59,161
But you can call me Ted.
257
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:01,720
Professor Mosby.
258
00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:04,330
T-Dawg.
259
00:13:05,148 --> 00:13:06,748
Do not call me T-Dawg.
260
00:13:10,391 --> 00:13:12,641
Never take questions
on the first day.
261
00:13:12,766 --> 00:13:14,239
It shows weakness.
262
00:13:14,531 --> 00:13:17,798
Also, don't look right here.
263
00:13:19,654 --> 00:13:21,404
Okay, good luck. Byesies.
264
00:13:23,076 --> 00:13:24,205
This was it,
265
00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:25,541
my crossroads moment.
266
00:13:26,231 --> 00:13:28,456
What kind of professor
was I gonna be?
267
00:13:28,581 --> 00:13:29,881
I had to decide.
268
00:13:30,235 --> 00:13:32,890
Please save all your questions
until the end of the lecture.
269
00:13:33,015 --> 00:13:34,172
Thank you!
270
00:13:35,878 --> 00:13:37,698
Professor Mosby had arrived.
271
00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:40,143
Of course,
if I had taken that girl's question...
272
00:13:40,268 --> 00:13:42,268
Who, by the way, was not your mom...
273
00:13:42,393 --> 00:13:43,955
Your mom was sitting...
274
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,939
Wait, let me finish
this story real quick.
275
00:13:46,064 --> 00:13:47,689
Here's what that girl
would have said.
276
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,317
I'm sorry to bother you,
professor Mosby,
277
00:13:50,442 --> 00:13:52,743
but this isn't architecture 101.
278
00:13:53,086 --> 00:13:54,899
This is economics 305.
279
00:13:55,164 --> 00:13:56,740
You're in the wrong classroom.
280
00:13:57,283 --> 00:13:59,483
Yes, I was in the wrong classroom.
281
00:13:59,608 --> 00:14:02,769
And thus began the most humiliating
seven minutes of my life.
282
00:14:02,894 --> 00:14:04,768
Here's your think-about-it
for the day.
283
00:14:04,893 --> 00:14:07,143
Every single person in this room...
284
00:14:07,564 --> 00:14:09,264
is already an architect.
285
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:10,712
Architect?
286
00:14:17,593 --> 00:14:19,390
"We're just hanging out."
287
00:14:19,515 --> 00:14:20,917
Just hanging out?
288
00:14:22,337 --> 00:14:23,391
Not good enough.
289
00:14:23,559 --> 00:14:24,726
Not good enough!
290
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,164
Can anyone here tell me
291
00:14:29,289 --> 00:14:32,359
what this class is really all about?
292
00:14:32,797 --> 00:14:33,797
Economics?
293
00:14:36,538 --> 00:14:37,985
Don't laugh.
He's not...
294
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,810
He's not entirely wrong.
295
00:14:40,185 --> 00:14:42,376
An architect must be economical
296
00:14:42,501 --> 00:14:43,997
in his use of space,
297
00:14:44,611 --> 00:14:45,591
so...
298
00:14:46,273 --> 00:14:47,156
well done.
299
00:14:47,483 --> 00:14:48,873
Looks like someone's
300
00:14:49,301 --> 00:14:52,366
building towards an A, huh?
301
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,033
"We're seeing
where things are going."
302
00:14:58,195 --> 00:15:00,345
I'll tell you
where things aren't going...
303
00:15:01,124 --> 00:15:03,598
Out of that bedroom.
Not good enough.
304
00:15:03,766 --> 00:15:04,933
Not good enough!
305
00:15:07,627 --> 00:15:08,534
You...
306
00:15:08,938 --> 00:15:10,746
Why do you want to be an architect?
307
00:15:11,136 --> 00:15:13,108
I don't want to be an architect.
308
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:15,902
Yes. Yes, exactly.
309
00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:18,143
It's not something you want to be.
310
00:15:18,268 --> 00:15:19,948
It's something you need to be.
311
00:15:20,366 --> 00:15:21,891
You don't have a choice, right?
312
00:15:22,016 --> 00:15:23,978
None of you has a choice.
313
00:15:24,460 --> 00:15:25,610
No questions!
314
00:15:28,065 --> 00:15:30,178
"We're Barnman and Robin."
315
00:15:31,961 --> 00:15:34,686
Come on, you got to admit,
that's kind of funny.
316
00:15:34,811 --> 00:15:37,132
Not good enough.
317
00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:38,600
Not good enough!
318
00:15:39,989 --> 00:15:41,386
So if any of you
319
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,782
have even the slightest inclination
320
00:15:43,907 --> 00:15:46,842
to do anything with your life
other than become an architect,
321
00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:49,421
you're wasting my time and yours.
322
00:15:50,024 --> 00:15:51,169
There's the door.
323
00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:52,480
You can go.
324
00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:55,741
I'm serious.
Get out. Now!
325
00:16:01,516 --> 00:16:02,866
Wait!
Don't all leave!
326
00:16:03,554 --> 00:16:04,659
Architecture's fun!
327
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,203
- I brought a hacky sack!
- Sorry I'm late, everyone.
328
00:16:07,485 --> 00:16:09,141
My name is professor Calzonetti.
329
00:16:09,266 --> 00:16:12,000
This is economics 305.
You may return to your seats.
330
00:16:13,461 --> 00:16:14,271
Sorry.
331
00:16:14,396 --> 00:16:16,630
This is architecture 101.
332
00:16:17,391 --> 00:16:19,341
Who invited their dad, right?
333
00:16:19,741 --> 00:16:21,903
Young man, for the last 28 years,
334
00:16:22,028 --> 00:16:24,295
economics 305
has been taught right here,
335
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:26,512
in building 14, room 7.
336
00:16:28,275 --> 00:16:30,564
Buddy, I'm sure
200 architecture students
337
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,820
and their professor
all got the room wrong.
338
00:16:32,945 --> 00:16:35,065
T-Dawg,
you're in the wrong room, bro.
339
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,774
College kids, I'm on my way.
340
00:16:42,254 --> 00:16:43,490
Sorry. Coming through.
341
00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:50,021
Excuse me.
342
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,253
20 minutes late on your first day?
343
00:16:57,959 --> 00:17:00,382
- That's rough.
- But here's the funny thing.
344
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,341
I didn't have time
345
00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:04,886
to think about what teacher
I was going to be. I just...
346
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,931
got up there
and talked about architecture.
347
00:17:08,424 --> 00:17:11,017
- And it was kind of great.
- That's awesome, Ted.
348
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,635
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
349
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,015
Nice job, Ted.
350
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:15,640
Ted, door five!
351
00:17:16,844 --> 00:17:18,608
- Were you there?
- I got you, buddy.
352
00:17:19,396 --> 00:17:21,106
They still haven't had the talk.
353
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,562
I think I know
how to speed things up.
354
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,495
Not cool!
355
00:17:32,849 --> 00:17:35,159
Pancakes, fresh bacon.
356
00:17:35,633 --> 00:17:37,314
It is so yummy.
357
00:17:39,063 --> 00:17:40,963
Dude, I'm starving. Let's...
358
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:42,924
Let's just have the stupid talk.
359
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,300
- Come on.
- Fine.
360
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:48,596
How do these things even work?
What do we say?
361
00:17:54,033 --> 00:17:56,307
"Where do you see
this relationship going?"
362
00:17:56,432 --> 00:17:58,106
Oh, my God, that sounds so cheesy.
363
00:17:58,396 --> 00:17:59,514
I know, right?
364
00:17:59,639 --> 00:18:00,639
Totally.
365
00:18:01,943 --> 00:18:04,693
But where do you see
this relationship going?
366
00:18:06,473 --> 00:18:07,615
I don't know.
367
00:18:08,564 --> 00:18:10,329
It's not like I don't like you.
368
00:18:10,454 --> 00:18:13,097
I just haven't had
a girlfriend for a long time.
369
00:18:13,898 --> 00:18:16,426
- I hope that doesn't make you mad.
- Mad?
370
00:18:16,551 --> 00:18:19,085
I feel the same way.
I suck at relationships.
371
00:18:19,417 --> 00:18:20,977
I mean, except with Ted.
372
00:18:21,329 --> 00:18:23,627
Man, he really got it right.
373
00:18:23,948 --> 00:18:25,848
I know it's a clich�, but...
374
00:18:26,294 --> 00:18:28,274
he really ruined me for other men.
375
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,700
Of course, I wasn't in the room
for this conversation,
376
00:18:30,825 --> 00:18:33,345
but I have to imagine Robin
said something like that.
377
00:18:34,332 --> 00:18:36,644
Maybe we should go back
to being just friends.
378
00:18:37,165 --> 00:18:37,979
Maybe.
379
00:18:39,479 --> 00:18:40,379
But...
380
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:43,818
- I don't want to stop having sex.
- Good. Me, neither.
381
00:18:45,835 --> 00:18:47,734
- Friends isn't gonna work.
- Nope.
382
00:18:47,859 --> 00:18:50,202
We're not good at being friends,
at being in a relationship.
383
00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:51,577
What are we good at?
384
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,495
I know something.
385
00:18:53,676 --> 00:18:55,875
If we'll do it again,
I'll need some Gatorade, or...
386
00:18:56,755 --> 00:18:58,105
No, not that.
387
00:18:58,729 --> 00:19:00,015
Lying, think about it.
388
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,079
We spent the whole summer lying.
389
00:19:02,204 --> 00:19:04,316
Why not just keep lying?
390
00:19:12,348 --> 00:19:13,202
Really?
391
00:19:13,696 --> 00:19:15,265
Really. We sat down.
392
00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:16,690
We had the talk.
393
00:19:16,842 --> 00:19:19,501
- Barney's my boyfriend now.
- And Robin's my girlfriend.
394
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,261
I know it sounds nuts,
but it feels good to say.
395
00:19:22,386 --> 00:19:24,667
We're both afraid
of commitment, but...
396
00:19:24,792 --> 00:19:27,243
the fact is,
we also can't live without each other.
397
00:19:27,368 --> 00:19:29,353
And if the alternative
is not being together,
398
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:31,366
then it's worth taking
this risk 'cause...
399
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:34,220
she's awesome.
400
00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:36,079
And he's awesome.
401
00:19:37,456 --> 00:19:40,425
- He looks nice in a suit.
- She can handle her scotch.
402
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,210
He's my boyfriend.
403
00:19:42,517 --> 00:19:44,212
And she's my girlfriend.
404
00:19:53,084 --> 00:19:54,184
Good enough!
405
00:19:57,481 --> 00:19:58,704
She bought it.
406
00:19:58,829 --> 00:20:00,141
Hook, line, and sinker.
407
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:01,329
We are good.
408
00:20:01,454 --> 00:20:02,313
Totally.
409
00:20:02,814 --> 00:20:04,315
You want to get some breakfast?
410
00:20:04,827 --> 00:20:07,140
Brunch actually
does sound kind of good.
411
00:20:07,963 --> 00:20:10,063
Well, lead the way, sweetie pie.
412
00:20:10,695 --> 00:20:11,614
Fl�gelhorn.
413
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:13,243
Yeah, that felt wrong.
414
00:20:24,997 --> 00:20:27,139
You realize they were lying, right?
415
00:20:27,264 --> 00:20:28,264
No, Ted.
416
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,009
They don't realize
they weren't lying.
417
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,210
Hello. Good evening.
418
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,787
Hello. Don't get up.
419
00:20:47,912 --> 00:20:49,403
Didn't we meet on a yacht?
420
00:20:53,507 --> 00:20:54,507
What?
421
00:20:56,272 --> 00:20:58,423
Did I not tell you guys
that it was Tuxedo night?
422
00:20:59,621 --> 00:21:01,771
Doesn't feel very good, does it?
31121
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