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As you all know,
profits for Hampton DeVille
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are at an all-time high.
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Unfortunately,
the well-being of our employees
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00:00:07,139 --> 00:00:09,041
is at an all-time low.
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Let's take a look at the average
Hampton DeVille employee.
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The average life expectancy
for a Hampton DeVille employee
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is 57.1 years.
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- They get 5.2 hours of sleep a night...
- I'm so tired.
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I wish I could be asleep all the time.
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You just described death.
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Hmm. Yeah, I guess I want to be dead.
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I can't wait to die.
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It sounds so relaxing.
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The average employee
is half man, half woman.
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They have one testicle,
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one breast, and half a vagina.
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Every year,
the average employee consumes
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561 cups of coffee...
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I feel nothing when I drink coffee.
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Coffee is a scam.
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Be an adult. Take an Adderall.
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The average Hampton DeVille employee
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strongly agrees
with the following phrase.
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"If I see a pill, I eat a pill."
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They smoke 275 cigarettes annually,
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97 marijuana cigarettes,
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and due to some statistical outliers,
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the average employee does heroin.
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[WHISPERING] I would never do heroin.
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Unless I was dying,
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or someone just offered it to me.
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I don't have a 401(K), so as of now,
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my retirement plan
is to overdose on drugs.
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Smart.
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The average employee
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has 7.8 suicidal thoughts per day,
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18 panic attacks a year,
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and wonders once an hour, every hour,
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why this is happening to them.
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And that concludes my presentation
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on how Hampton DeVille employees
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cope with the pain of being alive.
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[APPLAUDING]
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Okay. Thank you, Grace.
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Should we talk next steps?
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First step: let us never
speak of this again.
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Yes, that's right.
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That's really the only step.
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[SLICING, SLOSHING NOISES]
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[ROCK MUSIC]
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? ?
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
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? ?
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[CAR BEEPS TWICE]
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? ?
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[CAR SEAT SQUEAKING]
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You've heard of
enhanced interrogation, right?
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- Yeah.
- Well, it's like that,
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- but with acupuncture.
- Ah.
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I know a masseuse
who does this amazing thing
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where she wraps her hands
around your neck
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and just oh-so-subtly suffocates you.
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- Is that Matt?
- Oh, no.
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Finding a dead body
is one of my top 25 fears.
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He has a neck pillow.
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He died in his sleep.
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[SNORING GENTLY]
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- [HORN BLARES]
- Oh!
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- Hi, Matt.
- Oh, my...
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- God!
- Ah!
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- John.
- Ah!
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- What?
- What?
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Matt, the fact that you
have been sleeping in your car
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means we have not been
challenging you enough.
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But that's about to change.
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We need you to digitize
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all the employee injury
and death reports
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from the past 50 years.
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I'm gonna be honest with you,
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it's an upsetting amount of work.
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It sucks.
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I'm sorry, but how does
digitizing old files
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fit into my job description?
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I'm gonna lose my mind
if I don't get my nap.
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I don't know what I'm gonna do.
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Wow, Matt. That sounds awful.
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Almost as bad as having spinal surgery!
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Because the chairs here
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don't provide lumbar support!
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But let's get back
to how you're a victim.
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[KNOCK AT DOOR]
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Jake, buddy!
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It is so good to see you
back in the office, man.
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The place wasn't the same without you.
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I brought you these.
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Wow, thanks, Baron.
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I kind of thought you hated me
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'cause you've said that
to my face many times.
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[SCOFFS]
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Uh, so anyway, um...
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what'd they give you to manage the pain?
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Must be some serious stuff.
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They gave me hydrocodone, oxycodone,
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lorazepam, Diazepam.
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00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:03,976
You know, I get, um,
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00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,779
uh, retinal pain
from staring at screens all day,
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so if you have any leftover pills,
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remember who brought you flowers
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when you were down and out...
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and in need of a friend.
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There's a Benji in the card.
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Wow, that was pretty blatant.
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I've been dealing with this all morning.
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Turns out painkillers
are pretty valuable currency.
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Jake, heard about your back.
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That sucks, man.
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Quick question, though.
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What kind of pills are you taking?
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Hey, Jake.
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- Hey, Jake.
- Jake.
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Jake!
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Jim, buddy.
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I am so sorry to hear about your back.
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I can only imagine the pain you're in.
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You are a hero.
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What'd they give ya?
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What was it, Norcos, Vals, Vics?
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You are not supposed to take all of 'em.
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That would be dangerous.
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My carpal tunnel's
been really acting up.
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This weekend, I have to meet
my mom's new boyfriend.
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That's not good.
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00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:06,971
He used to be my boyfriend.
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I'm just really bored.
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I'm a drug addict.
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I would be so grateful.
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If you love me,
you'll give me the pills.
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I'll give you something;
you give me something.
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- I need the pills.
- Just give them to me.
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Please.
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Don't act like
you're the only one in pain!
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And that would really help me out, man.
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What's in it for me?
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[LIQUID SLOSHING]
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[SOLEMN VOCAL MUSIC]
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[WOMAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
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? ?
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00:05:45,210 --> 00:05:51,116
? ?
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00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:52,117
[YAWNS]
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[KEYS CLACKING]
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Is that a new suit?
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Yeah, I got it from Hank in accounting.
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His in-laws are visiting this weekend.
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Is that a Kandinsky?
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Here's another batch.
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Well, now I really want to be dead.
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[SIGHS]
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Hi, Matt. You look like you're dying.
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Thanks, Grace.
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Jake.
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Oh, hi, Grace.
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Let me guess, you want
to exploit our friendship
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for some pain pills.
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What? No.
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I just brought you these balloons
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because I care about you.
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That's so sweet, Grace.
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You're such a good person.
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Yes. I am good.
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[Bleep], [Bleep], [Bleep].
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[SIGHS]
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God, I need a nap.
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[PHONE RINGING DISTANTLY]
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Matt, we know you need sleep,
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- but we're counting on you.
- You're young.
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You're not allowed to sleep
until you're dead.
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[EXHALES]
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[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
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? ?
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00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:10,294
[PHONE RINGING DISTANTLY]
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? ?
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00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:18,135
[PHONE RINGING DISTANTLY]
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[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
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[GASPS]
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I don't think employees
are allowed to smoke in here.
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What are you gonna do, fire me?
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No, it's just that...
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cigarettes are bad for you.
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Cigarettes can't kill me.
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Why not?
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Because I'm a [Bleep] ghost!
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- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
- Hey, Matt!
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- [GASPS]
- Ooh.
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I thought you were dead, but turns out
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you're just sleeping on the toilet,
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which is somehow worse.
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[TOILET FLUSHES]
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[INTENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
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? ?
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00:08:01,913 --> 00:08:04,248
Good morning, Matt!
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I'm gonna show you
how I get through my day...
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00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,020
without falling asleep on the toilet.
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00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,421
John, how is waking up at 6:00 a.m.
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to play basketball gonna help me?
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- God.
- Endorphins.
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Intense physical activity
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floods your brain with endorphins.
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00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,263
You don't need sleep
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when you can trick your body
into thinking
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that you're constantly
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- in a life-threatening situation.
- John.
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00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:28,473
? ?
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00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:29,808
With endorphins,
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00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:33,845
you can power your way
through any obstacle.
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Oh!
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00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,781
Foul.
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00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:39,585
With adrenaline in your veins,
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00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,186
nothing can get in your way!
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[GRUNTS] Oh, Jesus.
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That's a goal-tend.
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Okay, nothing can get in my way.
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[GRUNTING] Gotcha!
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Oh, gotcha, big man.
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00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,899
[GRUNTING]
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[EXCLAIMS] Let me get it!
227
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:58,870
You're a filthy, scumbag, dirty-ass...
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00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,305
- I get it.
- Trifling player.
229
00:09:01,306 --> 00:09:03,708
And you're always gonna be
a dirty player.
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00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,976
Let's go!
231
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,812
With endorphins...
232
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,415
everything is possible!
233
00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:10,515
Oh!
234
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:11,450
What?
235
00:09:13,017 --> 00:09:14,019
How?
236
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,087
[WOMAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
237
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:17,721
Ow!
238
00:09:17,722 --> 00:09:20,324
So there was an incident
239
00:09:20,325 --> 00:09:22,861
on the basketball court this morning
240
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:26,631
involving two Hampton DeVille employees.
241
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,098
You and me.
242
00:09:28,099 --> 00:09:31,002
And I think what we've learned
243
00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:33,871
is that people...
244
00:09:33,872 --> 00:09:35,240
me and you...
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00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,842
make mistakes.
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00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:40,213
And nobody is really at fault here.
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Okay?
248
00:09:43,815 --> 00:09:45,317
Yeah, it's okay.
249
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,550
Good.
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00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:47,552
Good meeting...
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00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,189
and great game.
252
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,659
[SIGHS]
253
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,093
You ever have one of those dreams
254
00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:58,696
that are so vivid,
you'd swear it's real?
255
00:09:58,697 --> 00:09:59,965
All the time, man.
256
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,633
[LAUGHS]
257
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:02,634
Who are you?
258
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,269
I'm Kevin.
259
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,971
I've been hitting the drugs
pretty hard since my dog died,
260
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:08,941
so I traded my office to Jake
for painkillers.
261
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:09,976
Oh.
262
00:10:11,309 --> 00:10:13,178
How are you?
263
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:15,179
[STAMMERS] I'm having
a little bit of a rough day,
264
00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:16,581
but I'm okay.
265
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:17,682
How are you?
266
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,384
Good. I'm on drugs.
267
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:21,053
No, don't do that.
268
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,221
Do what I said.
269
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,755
Trust me, if you saw how I look,
270
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:24,756
you would do what I said.
271
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:25,757
Can I help you?
272
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:26,924
Come on, this is ridiculous.
273
00:10:26,925 --> 00:10:29,294
Um, I just came to talk to Jake.
274
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,295
Do you have an appointment
with Mr. Levinson?
275
00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:32,697
It's okay, Jane.
276
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:35,066
Tell him to wait a minute,
and we'll grab some grub.
277
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:36,601
Mom, how many times
do I have to tell you
278
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:38,004
he's not hot enough for you?
279
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:41,305
You're an amazing woman,
and you deserve the hottest.
280
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:42,774
Thanks for picking up lunch, Grace.
281
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,308
That's what friends do:
282
00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:48,011
give each other stuff that
makes their bodies feel good.
283
00:10:48,012 --> 00:10:49,914
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
284
00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:51,750
[EXHALES]
285
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,985
? ?
286
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,986
So, Jake, how many pills
do you have left?
287
00:10:55,987 --> 00:10:58,255
I blew a bunch on a key to
the 49th floor vending machine,
288
00:10:58,256 --> 00:11:00,859
but I've got enough left
for one big trade.
289
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:04,728
Ooh, and I think I know
what it's going to be.
290
00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:07,899
[CHORAL MUSIC]
291
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:08,933
A car?
292
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:11,102
No, I want that parking spot.
293
00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:12,169
It's right by the elevator,
294
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,471
no cars on either side.
295
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:14,773
It's convenient, but more importantly
296
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,408
a real status symbol.
297
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:19,510
Uh, there's no chance
you're gonna get that spot.
298
00:11:19,511 --> 00:11:21,145
It belongs to Peg Peterson.
299
00:11:21,146 --> 00:11:23,981
She's the most well-balanced
person I've ever met.
300
00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:26,518
I don't think she's been sad
a day in her life.
301
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,422
Okay, well, it was good
hearing from you.
302
00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:30,954
Yeah. Have a great day, Todd.
303
00:11:30,955 --> 00:11:31,990
- Okay.
- [PHONE HANGS UP]
304
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:33,158
Oh, hello.
305
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,859
I'm sorry, that was a telemarketer.
306
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,294
What can I help you with?
307
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:38,362
I'm sorry, but I was walking
by your office,
308
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:41,298
and I couldn't help but notice
that your name is Peg Peterson.
309
00:11:41,299 --> 00:11:42,634
This is a long shot,
310
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,636
but do you happen to know
a Lenny Peterson?
311
00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:46,771
Uh, I don't think so.
312
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,139
Well, he's great,
313
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,808
and it's great to meet another Peterson.
314
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,241
Anyway, how are you?
315
00:11:51,242 --> 00:11:53,745
I'm doing really well,
thank you for asking.
316
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,112
And how are you?
317
00:11:55,113 --> 00:11:57,314
Um, what's that back brace for?
318
00:11:57,315 --> 00:11:58,448
Oh, this old thing?
319
00:11:58,449 --> 00:11:59,884
I just had a little spinal surgery.
320
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,153
Don't worry about me.
321
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,355
Yeah, it hurts a little bit,
322
00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:04,957
but everyone has pain, right?
323
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,290
Right, Peg?
324
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:08,125
I'm sorry to hear about your spine,
325
00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:10,328
but you know what always
makes me feel better
326
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:11,730
is a candy cane.
327
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,432
Candy, huh?
328
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,100
Ever had this kind of candy, Peg?
329
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:17,201
[DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING]
330
00:12:17,202 --> 00:12:20,138
Are those prescription painkillers?
331
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:22,473
These make everybody
feel better about everything.
332
00:12:22,474 --> 00:12:23,908
I could give you the rest of the bottle,
333
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:26,845
but I'm gonna need
more than a candy cane, Peg.
334
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:28,880
Maybe your parking spot?
335
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:29,981
[PHONE CHIMING CHEERFULLY]
336
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,750
Oh, it's 2:00.
337
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,885
It's time for my afternoon treat.
338
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:36,721
Ice cream sandwiches
are the only drug I need.
339
00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:37,889
[SIGHS]
340
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:40,424
[SIGHS]
341
00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:42,961
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
342
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:43,996
Bonne nuit.
343
00:12:45,497 --> 00:12:46,732
Buenas noches.
344
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:53,971
What?
345
00:12:53,972 --> 00:12:55,308
[SIGHS]
346
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,817
[EERIE MUSIC]
347
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:09,419
[JAZZY PIANO MUSIC]
348
00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:12,423
[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING]
349
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:19,364
? ?
350
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:20,966
[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING, BELL DINGS]
351
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,467
Hey, ghost?
352
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,869
What are you typing?
353
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,272
[MUFFLED] I have to finish
these bullshit reports.
354
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,208
[EERIE WHOOSHING]
355
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,010
Hey, ghost?
356
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,712
What's it like being dead?
357
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,380
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
358
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,215
Being dead is great in theory.
359
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:38,449
You know?
360
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:39,516
You don't feel any pain.
361
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:41,385
You can have sex without condoms.
362
00:13:41,386 --> 00:13:43,855
But the problem is, you just
get used to it, you know?
363
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:47,225
And then being dead just sucks
as much as being alive.
364
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,662
It's like, there's no greener grass.
365
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,795
There's just more grass.
366
00:13:51,796 --> 00:13:54,432
[Bleep], you just made me type "grass"!
367
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:57,135
? ?
368
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,136
- Paper cuts!
- [KNOCKING AT DOOR]
369
00:13:58,137 --> 00:13:59,803
- Oh!
- Hi, Matt.
370
00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:02,608
Did you know
this is the women's restroom?
371
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:06,645
And also you're asleep on a toilet.
372
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,579
[TOILET FLUSHES]
373
00:14:10,248 --> 00:14:12,784
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
374
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,251
What's wrong, Matt?
375
00:14:14,252 --> 00:14:15,620
I don't know, Kevin.
376
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,924
These death records
are giving me weird nightmares.
377
00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:21,759
Madeline?
378
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,629
Smoker, foul-mouthed,
379
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,030
died of an amphetamine overdose.
380
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,031
Oh, my God.
381
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,633
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
382
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:29,768
She's real.
383
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,035
Who's real?
384
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,403
The ghost from my dreams.
385
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:33,571
Wait, no, I'm sorry.
386
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:35,307
[STAMMERING] I don't believe in ghosts.
387
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,308
I do.
388
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,309
If ghosts aren't real,
389
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:39,376
how do you explain
390
00:14:39,377 --> 00:14:41,480
the existence of ghosts?
391
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,614
- Huh?
- You're right.
392
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,015
- You can't explain it.
- No.
393
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:46,418
I listen to ghost hunting
podcasts while I work,
394
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,287
and they all say
that if you meet a ghost,
395
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,888
you're supposed to find where they died
396
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,792
so they can be released
to the afterlife.
397
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,827
It says she died on floor 33.
398
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,596
I know all about floor 33.
399
00:14:58,597 --> 00:14:59,864
It's abandoned.
400
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:02,734
Supposed to be pretty spooky.
401
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,369
I'll go get my ghost rods.
402
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,569
Thanks, Kev.
403
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:08,606
[CHUCKLES]
404
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,675
Are you gonna go get your rods?
405
00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:13,044
- Oh!
- Yeah.
406
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:15,448
Yeah, right, ghost rods. Right.
407
00:15:19,017 --> 00:15:20,985
What's wrong?
408
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,920
No ice cream sandwiches?
409
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:26,158
Someone threw them
into the sink and smashed them.
410
00:15:27,825 --> 00:15:29,461
Oh, no.
411
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,529
I guess the world is cruel.
412
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,097
Right, Peg?
413
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,533
Lucky for you...
414
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:36,703
I have these.
415
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:39,703
You know what?
416
00:15:39,704 --> 00:15:41,139
I think I'm gonna treat myself
417
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:42,908
to a walk in the park.
418
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,510
Why don't you come join me?
419
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:48,347
[DOOR RATTLES]
420
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,449
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
421
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:57,554
? ?
422
00:15:57,555 --> 00:15:59,790
Why'd they shut this floor down?
423
00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:01,226
It wasn't wheelchair accessible,
424
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,227
and they didn't want to pay
to install a ramp.
425
00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:05,395
Oh.
426
00:16:05,396 --> 00:16:06,463
Spider!
427
00:16:06,464 --> 00:16:07,731
[EXCLAIMING] Oh, don't.
428
00:16:07,732 --> 00:16:08,667
[SHUDDERS]
429
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:13,169
Oh, my God. Kevin, it's her office.
430
00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:14,838
- [GHOST RODS SHAKING]
- Oh, man.
431
00:16:14,839 --> 00:16:16,640
My rods are really
starting to [Bleep] out.
432
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:17,976
Uh, maybe we should go back
to the office
433
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,845
and take some pain pills
and forget about this.
434
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:21,779
No, I'm going in.
435
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:23,014
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
436
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,283
Matt! Matt, no!
437
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:32,225
? ?
438
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:37,694
It says "deceased found on couch."
439
00:16:37,695 --> 00:16:39,429
[EERIE EXHALATION]
440
00:16:39,430 --> 00:16:41,466
Oh, my God, we found
her final resting place.
441
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,233
Now she can be released.
442
00:16:43,234 --> 00:16:44,402
Kev?
443
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,072
[VOICE ECHOING]
444
00:16:47,138 --> 00:16:51,675
Huh. Resting place.
445
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:52,843
Look, Jake,
446
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:54,645
it's not like I don't understand
447
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:56,646
that there's darkness in life.
448
00:16:56,647 --> 00:16:58,148
Okay, let me tell you a story.
449
00:16:58,149 --> 00:17:00,417
So when I was a kid,
my parents were divorced,
450
00:17:00,418 --> 00:17:02,252
and I lived with my mother.
451
00:17:02,253 --> 00:17:03,820
And one night, we woke up,
452
00:17:03,821 --> 00:17:05,222
and the house was on fire.
453
00:17:05,223 --> 00:17:06,391
So we ran out,
454
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:09,860
and my mother ran back in
to save my dog,
455
00:17:09,861 --> 00:17:12,864
and that's when my father kidnapped me.
456
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,901
Because it turns out that
he had started the fire
457
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,937
to get back at my mother, so...
458
00:17:17,938 --> 00:17:19,671
anyway, three months later,
459
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,471
the FBI found us
460
00:17:21,472 --> 00:17:24,108
and shot my father through the brain
461
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,542
right in front of me.
462
00:17:25,543 --> 00:17:28,246
But on the way to the police station,
463
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:31,781
a federal agent handed me
an ice cream sandwich.
464
00:17:31,782 --> 00:17:32,884
So yeah,
465
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,818
I could easily
466
00:17:34,819 --> 00:17:35,920
look back at what happened
467
00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,587
and focus on the negative.
468
00:17:37,588 --> 00:17:41,058
Or I could remember that
no matter how bad things get,
469
00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:42,559
there's always an ice cream sandwich
470
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,995
around the corner.
471
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:46,731
I just want to take a minute
472
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,266
to deeply apologize
473
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,968
for throwing away
your ice cream sandwiches.
474
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,804
There's just one more thing
I want to show you.
475
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,806
[HAWK SCREECHES IN DISTANCE]
476
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,307
[SNORING]
477
00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:57,841
Well...
478
00:17:57,842 --> 00:17:59,210
you released me.
479
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:01,212
So now I get to move on.
480
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:02,379
To hell.
481
00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:04,248
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
482
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,052
I was a terrible person,
so it doesn't matter.
483
00:18:06,053 --> 00:18:08,219
Hell's better than working
at Hampton DeVille, right?
484
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,854
Yeah, I'm not cut out for working here.
485
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,489
No one is.
486
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,991
You just find your way to cope,
and you just keep going.
487
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:15,292
So is that it?
488
00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:16,528
Yeah.
489
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,828
Unless you want to make out.
490
00:18:18,829 --> 00:18:20,298
Do you want to make out?
491
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,400
Yeah, whatever.
492
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,533
I mean, I'm a ghost. Who cares?
493
00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:24,536
[EERIE EXHALATION]
494
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,671
Oh!
495
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:32,410
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
496
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,112
You know, Jake, I really do believe
497
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,046
that putting positivity into the world
498
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:38,281
is kind of its own reward.
499
00:18:38,282 --> 00:18:40,684
That's why I'm giving you
my parking space.
500
00:18:40,685 --> 00:18:42,587
Wow. Peg.
501
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,155
Thank you.
502
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:46,289
But after all you've been
through, I feel kind of bad
503
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,192
taking your parking spot.
504
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:49,461
I definitely still will,
505
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,862
but I feel bad.
506
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,629
Don't worry about me.
507
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:53,998
Oh, and remember,
508
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:55,231
always look on the bright...
[TIRES SCREECHING]
509
00:18:55,232 --> 00:18:57,935
? Nothing is good enough ?
510
00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:01,105
? For people like you ?
511
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:05,308
? Who have to have
someone take the fall ?
512
00:19:05,309 --> 00:19:07,412
[AIMEE MANN'S "NOTHING IS
GOOD ENOUGH" PLAYING]
513
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:10,514
? And something to sabotage ?
514
00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:15,485
? Determined to lose it all ?
515
00:19:15,486 --> 00:19:18,588
? Nothing is ?
516
00:19:18,589 --> 00:19:21,358
? Good enough ?
517
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:26,264
? ?
518
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,367
John told me to drop these off here.
519
00:19:30,368 --> 00:19:32,337
[DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING]
520
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,404
Whoa!
521
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:34,806
You're the ghost.
522
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,909
I found out where you died
and took a nap there.
523
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,343
What are you talking about?
524
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,609
Oh.
525
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,412
I guess that was a dream.
526
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:42,981
Gross. Don't dream about me.
527
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,448
Oh, no, it wasn't you.
528
00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:46,618
You were a dream ghost,
and I released you to hell.
529
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:47,885
And then we made out,
530
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:48,886
but it was your idea.
531
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:49,921
I... listen.
532
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,323
I'm not explaining this well.
533
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,158
Here's the thing. I'm a good guy.
534
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:55,326
And if we got to know each other,
535
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:57,429
we'd laugh about this, and, uh...
536
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,931
if we hung out, uh,
we'd probably become friends.
537
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,165
I know that this is a weird situation.
538
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:03,635
We all know that, both of us,
539
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,202
and, uh, I just want you to know
540
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:07,304
that I'm with you on this.
541
00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:08,841
Bottom line, I need you to trust me
542
00:20:08,842 --> 00:20:10,173
that I'm a good person.
543
00:20:10,174 --> 00:20:11,408
That's it.
544
00:20:11,409 --> 00:20:12,777
Don't ever talk to me again.
545
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,012
Okay.
546
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,749
I hate all men.
547
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,751
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
548
00:20:20,776 --> 00:20:25,024
? ?
549
00:20:25,204 --> 00:20:29,079
_
550
00:20:30,587 --> 00:20:31,587
Hey, Grace.
551
00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:32,629
Here you go, kiddo.
552
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:34,831
Jake!
553
00:20:34,832 --> 00:20:37,702
? ?
554
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,003
Man, Kevin,
555
00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:40,337
it's been so much easier
to get my work done
556
00:20:40,338 --> 00:20:42,272
now that I found my new napping place.
557
00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:43,808
Who's Kevin?
558
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:46,944
Jake? But what happened to...
559
00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:49,646
was Kevin a ghost?
560
00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:51,249
No, I just gave him his office back.
561
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,517
Oh.
562
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:54,018
That makes sense.
563
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:56,221
There's a spider on your shoulder.
564
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:57,155
[EXCLAIMS]
565
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,526
Wow, buddy.
566
00:21:02,793 --> 00:21:03,795
You play dirty.
567
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:04,996
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
568
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,797
Filthy.
569
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:08,000
I like that.
570
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,535
I like that, buddy.
571
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:11,536
Let's go!
572
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:14,003
[GRUNTING]
573
00:21:14,004 --> 00:21:15,218
Foul.
574
00:21:15,268 --> 00:21:19,818
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