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1
00:00:01,198 --> 00:00:02,632
(upbeat march plays)
2
00:00:02,666 --> 00:00:05,334
Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:05,369 --> 00:00:09,272
I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
4
00:00:09,306 --> 00:00:12,241
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
5
00:00:12,276 --> 00:00:16,679
And he's shining a salute
to the American race
6
00:00:18,548 --> 00:00:21,951
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:21,985 --> 00:00:23,953
Good...
Good morning, USA
8
00:00:23,987 --> 00:00:29,992
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9
00:00:38,669 --> 00:00:40,369
You coming to bed, hon?
10
00:00:40,404 --> 00:00:41,804
Just finishing up my nightlies.
11
00:00:48,478 --> 00:00:49,812
Oh, honey.
12
00:00:49,846 --> 00:00:51,881
I wish you wouldn't shove a
retainer full of cake
13
00:00:51,915 --> 00:00:53,215
in your mouth every night.
14
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:56,319
But then I wouldn't taste
sweet chocolate in my dreams.
15
00:00:56,353 --> 00:00:57,720
Plus, I don't want to
change my routine
16
00:00:57,754 --> 00:00:59,021
before a big day like tomorrow.
17
00:00:59,056 --> 00:01:00,356
What's happening tomorrow?
18
00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:01,524
Ah, that's top secret.
19
00:01:01,558 --> 00:01:03,125
But I can give you a hint.
20
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:08,230
I'm "poisoning...
a Russian... assassin."
21
00:01:08,265 --> 00:01:09,765
Fine, don't tell me.
22
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:10,800
Well, good night.
23
00:01:12,035 --> 00:01:13,736
Stan, you forgot.
24
00:01:13,770 --> 00:01:15,471
It's Perfect Husband Time.
25
00:01:15,505 --> 00:01:17,340
Oh, right,
the 20 seconds per month
26
00:01:17,374 --> 00:01:19,408
I allot to your concerns.
27
00:01:19,443 --> 00:01:20,710
Go!
(clock ticking)
28
00:01:20,744 --> 00:01:22,511
Okay, uh-uh-um...
I-I-I saw
29
00:01:22,546 --> 00:01:23,913
another stray dog today, Stan.
30
00:01:23,947 --> 00:01:25,348
I was wondering
if we could adopt--
31
00:01:25,382 --> 00:01:27,149
Pass.
Okay, uh-uh-um...
32
00:01:27,184 --> 00:01:29,452
My parents asked if they could
see their children this year.
33
00:01:29,486 --> 00:01:30,619
Pass. Ten seconds down.
34
00:01:30,654 --> 00:01:32,188
I-I rented The Notebook.
35
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:33,823
Can we please, please, please
Three, two, one.
36
00:01:33,857 --> 00:01:34,857
watch it tomorrow night?
37
00:01:34,891 --> 00:01:36,092
(buzz)
38
00:01:36,126 --> 00:01:38,094
(skeleton laughs)
39
00:01:38,128 --> 00:01:40,863
Oh... unfortunately
we've run out of time.
40
00:01:40,897 --> 00:01:42,732
But, you won't be
leaving empty-handed.
41
00:01:42,766 --> 00:01:45,534
All of our contestants
go home with a parting gift.
42
00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:46,569
Beep beep.
43
00:01:55,045 --> 00:01:56,812
Hey, brother, spare a quarter?
44
00:01:56,847 --> 00:01:59,582
"Spare" money, never
understood that.
45
00:01:59,616 --> 00:02:01,283
Now, if you want
to earn some money,
46
00:02:01,318 --> 00:02:03,285
I have noticed that my
shoelace is untied.
47
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,821
So I'll offer you a nickel
to tie it for me.
48
00:02:12,596 --> 00:02:14,130
Here's a quarter.
Thanks.
49
00:02:14,164 --> 00:02:15,765
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I said a nickel.
50
00:02:15,799 --> 00:02:16,899
I got change coming.
51
00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:17,900
I don't have any.
52
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:18,968
No change?!
53
00:02:19,002 --> 00:02:21,337
This is how you
run a business?!
54
00:02:28,345 --> 00:02:31,781
Excuse me, where did you
get your shoelace tied?
55
00:02:31,815 --> 00:02:33,282
I do it myself, ma'am.
56
00:02:40,557 --> 00:02:42,925
Sugar?
(Russian accent): I don't drink sugar.
57
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,761
Damn it!
58
00:02:48,598 --> 00:02:49,698
Whoo-hoo!
(all cheering)
59
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,734
Congratulations, Smith.
60
00:02:51,768 --> 00:02:53,002
Wait, what's going on?
61
00:02:56,173 --> 00:02:57,640
That was your 100th kill.
62
00:02:57,674 --> 00:02:58,674
(all applaud)
63
00:02:58,708 --> 00:03:00,042
Get out of town.
64
00:03:00,076 --> 00:03:01,911
We all wanted
to be here for it.
65
00:03:01,945 --> 00:03:02,945
Well, thank you, sir.
66
00:03:02,979 --> 00:03:05,114
But I think
I only have 99 kills.
67
00:03:05,148 --> 00:03:06,949
We're counting
that agent who died
68
00:03:06,983 --> 00:03:09,118
when you refused to
give him some bone marrow.
69
00:03:09,152 --> 00:03:11,387
Even though you were
a perfect match.
70
00:03:11,421 --> 00:03:13,155
Happy 100th, Stan.
71
00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:14,723
It's not my birthday, dumb-ass.
72
00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:15,958
No! I meant a hundred--
73
00:03:15,992 --> 00:03:16,959
And a hundred.
74
00:03:16,993 --> 00:03:18,127
I look 40, tops.
75
00:03:18,161 --> 00:03:19,228
You look a hundred.
76
00:03:19,262 --> 00:03:20,729
Do-do-doesn't
Dick look a hundred?
77
00:03:20,764 --> 00:03:22,832
You do look old, Dick.
78
00:03:27,537 --> 00:03:29,805
No retainer full of
cake tonight, sweetie?
79
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,208
Time to leave that
boyish tradition behind.
80
00:03:32,242 --> 00:03:33,876
I've killed a hundred people.
81
00:03:33,910 --> 00:03:35,277
I'm a man now.
82
00:03:35,312 --> 00:03:36,645
A hundred people?
83
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,981
Plus I had 11 pieces
of cake at my party,
84
00:03:39,015 --> 00:03:41,484
and I threw up all over
the elevator buttons.
85
00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,491
Good morning, sweetie.
86
00:03:48,525 --> 00:03:49,492
What...?
87
00:03:49,526 --> 00:03:50,993
What are you smiling for?
88
00:03:51,027 --> 00:03:52,361
Why am I covered in cake?
89
00:03:52,395 --> 00:03:54,930
, hoy, you were so cute.
90
00:03:54,965 --> 00:03:56,465
You were sleepwalking.
91
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:59,735
And I walked downstairs
and got some cake?
92
00:03:59,769 --> 00:04:02,137
That's not all you did.
What?!
93
00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:05,140
You sat me down and insisted
we watch The Notebook.
94
00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:07,243
I did not watch The Notebook.
95
00:04:07,277 --> 00:04:09,345
Boy, did you cry
when Noah bought
96
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,046
the abandoned house
on the lake.
97
00:04:11,081 --> 00:04:13,182
Only because it fulfilled
Allie's lifelong dream.
98
00:04:13,216 --> 00:04:15,017
Oh, my God, I watched
The Notebook!
99
00:04:15,051 --> 00:04:17,052
(barks)
100
00:04:17,087 --> 00:04:18,254
What the hell is this?!
101
00:04:18,288 --> 00:04:19,522
That's Rashes.
102
00:04:19,556 --> 00:04:20,756
Our shelter dog.
103
00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:22,358
You adopted him last night.
104
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:23,692
Why's he named Rashes?
105
00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:25,794
Ah! Oh, gross! Ah!
106
00:04:25,829 --> 00:04:27,029
(panting)
107
00:04:27,063 --> 00:04:28,330
Something terrible
happened to me!
108
00:04:28,365 --> 00:04:29,765
I have to see Dr. Penguin!
109
00:04:29,799 --> 00:04:31,834
Which one do you think, Stan?
110
00:04:31,868 --> 00:04:33,369
I'm leaning towards lilac.
111
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,437
Roger, I don't want
to talk to Madam Buttercup!
112
00:04:35,472 --> 00:04:37,673
Oh, that's a good name.
113
00:04:37,707 --> 00:04:39,308
Okay, okay. Go lie on the couch.
114
00:04:42,312 --> 00:04:43,979
Dr. Penguin, it's terrible.
115
00:04:44,014 --> 00:04:45,381
Last night, I was sleepwalking
116
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:47,516
and I did all these
horribly nice things.
117
00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:49,451
Nice things, eh?
118
00:04:49,486 --> 00:04:51,654
Seems like someone's
conscience is coming out.
119
00:04:51,688 --> 00:04:52,755
Of the closet?
120
00:04:52,789 --> 00:04:53,829
I don't have a conscience.
121
00:04:53,857 --> 00:04:54,890
Let alone a gay conscience.
122
00:04:54,925 --> 00:04:56,125
No conscience?
123
00:04:56,159 --> 00:04:58,961
Yeah. That's how
I'm so great at my job.
124
00:04:58,995 --> 00:05:01,597
Hmm. Often when you sleepwalk,
125
00:05:01,631 --> 00:05:03,065
the part of you
that you keep hidden
126
00:05:03,099 --> 00:05:04,800
finds its way to the surface.
127
00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:06,635
Did you rub poo on your shirt?
128
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:08,203
What? God, no,
it's cake.
129
00:05:08,238 --> 00:05:09,305
Poo cake?
130
00:05:09,339 --> 00:05:11,106
I'm putting poo cake
in your file.
131
00:05:11,141 --> 00:05:13,242
Wait, no. Is that
my permanent record?
132
00:05:13,276 --> 00:05:15,244
This is just a straw.
133
00:05:15,278 --> 00:05:17,246
Anyway, I usually do
eat cake before bed,
134
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,681
but last night I didn't.
135
00:05:18,715 --> 00:05:21,517
And then you sleepwalked
to the kitchen and ate some.
136
00:05:21,551 --> 00:05:23,652
It's simple,
you're a man of habit.
137
00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:25,621
Just go back to
eating cake before bed
138
00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:27,022
and everything
will go back to normal.
139
00:05:27,057 --> 00:05:28,524
Okay, that makes sense.
140
00:05:28,558 --> 00:05:29,758
There ya go.
141
00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:31,527
Well, we've got
40 minutes left.
142
00:05:31,561 --> 00:05:34,496
You want to hold my feet
while I try to do a sit-up?
143
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:39,068
(grunting)
144
00:05:39,102 --> 00:05:41,170
Ah... forget it.
145
00:05:50,513 --> 00:05:52,214
Have you seen Rashes?
146
00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:53,916
Oh, I gave him to a family.
147
00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:56,251
Well, I-I guess you
could call them a family.
148
00:05:56,286 --> 00:05:58,387
There was a man,
he was like the father.
149
00:05:58,421 --> 00:06:01,156
There was no mom and no kids,
but a couple other men.
150
00:06:01,191 --> 00:06:02,458
So, like four dads.
151
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,860
And they all worked
at a Korean restaurant.
152
00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:06,161
(lamp switch clicks)
153
00:06:07,697 --> 00:06:09,732
Mmm. What a sleep.
154
00:06:09,766 --> 00:06:11,166
(yawns)
155
00:06:11,201 --> 00:06:13,669
Thank you, cake. Oh!
156
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:15,904
Good, you're awake.
157
00:06:15,939 --> 00:06:18,007
Well, wait.
How did I get here?
158
00:06:18,041 --> 00:06:21,443
You came in the middle
of the night to answer our ad...
159
00:06:21,478 --> 00:06:23,045
and our prayers.
160
00:06:23,079 --> 00:06:24,146
Wait, ad for what?
161
00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:27,016
To be director of the orphanage!
162
00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:29,051
The orphans can't wait
to meet you.
163
00:06:29,085 --> 00:06:30,486
But I-I was sleepwalking.
164
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,022
I thought maybe you were.
165
00:06:33,056 --> 00:06:34,857
But you're also
the only applicant
166
00:06:34,891 --> 00:06:35,991
who didn't play with himself
167
00:06:36,026 --> 00:06:38,560
while he examined
the children's files.
168
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:44,333
(children cheering)
169
00:06:45,765 --> 00:06:47,245
Well, I-I don't know
if I deserve this
170
00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:48,737
just for taking a job.
171
00:06:48,772 --> 00:06:51,840
Well... you did pay off
the loan on our bus.
172
00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:52,875
I what?!
173
00:06:54,911 --> 00:06:58,347
Huh, now, did I give you
any of my contact information?
174
00:06:58,381 --> 00:07:01,183
Like, like how to find me
if I were to suddenly disappear?
175
00:07:01,217 --> 00:07:02,418
Not yet.
176
00:07:02,452 --> 00:07:03,852
If you'd like to
come to my office--
177
00:07:05,889 --> 00:07:06,855
(tires screeching)
178
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:08,123
What is going on?!
179
00:07:08,158 --> 00:07:10,693
Why do you keep doing
nice things in your sleep?
180
00:07:10,727 --> 00:07:12,561
LITTLE GIRL:
Because you're a nice man.
181
00:07:14,431 --> 00:07:16,265
That's why you adopted me...
182
00:07:16,299 --> 00:07:17,466
Daddy.
183
00:07:22,806 --> 00:07:24,039
(horns honking)
184
00:07:24,074 --> 00:07:26,742
Oh, no, what have I done?!
185
00:07:26,776 --> 00:07:29,278
(horns honking)
186
00:07:29,312 --> 00:07:31,613
Oh, thank God. It turned green.
187
00:07:35,332 --> 00:07:37,166
Are you sure
you need more coffee?
188
00:07:37,201 --> 00:07:38,735
You haven't slept in two days.
189
00:07:38,769 --> 00:07:39,769
I can't sleep.
190
00:07:39,803 --> 00:07:41,537
Who knows what
sleepwalking me will do.
191
00:07:41,572 --> 00:07:43,640
Probably something really nice.
192
00:07:43,674 --> 00:07:45,008
Hey, I'm nice, too.
193
00:07:45,042 --> 00:07:46,442
But in metered doses.
194
00:07:46,477 --> 00:07:48,544
The sleepwalking
version of me is too nice.
195
00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:50,146
He's like Michael Keaton nice.
196
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:51,414
Michael Keaton?
197
00:07:51,448 --> 00:07:53,883
He didn't have to
pose for that picture.
198
00:07:55,019 --> 00:07:57,186
Honey, you're all frazzled.
199
00:07:57,221 --> 00:07:59,222
You need some sleep.
200
00:07:59,256 --> 00:08:00,590
All right,
five-minute power nap.
201
00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:01,691
I'm setting an alarm,
202
00:08:01,725 --> 00:08:03,493
but don't let me sleep
a minute longer.
203
00:08:03,527 --> 00:08:05,061
Got it.
204
00:08:07,398 --> 00:08:10,633
(alarm beeping)
205
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,171
(slurps loudly)
206
00:08:15,205 --> 00:08:17,940
"Dear Stan, I'll need
more than five minutes
207
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,410
"to do all the good deeds
I have planned.
208
00:08:20,444 --> 00:08:23,112
So I drugged your coffee.
Night, night."
209
00:08:23,147 --> 00:08:24,380
What the hell?!
210
00:08:24,415 --> 00:08:25,782
Sleeping pills?!
211
00:08:25,816 --> 00:08:26,916
Was I sleepwalking?!
212
00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:28,217
And did you let me
put these pills
213
00:08:28,252 --> 00:08:29,285
in my own coffee?!
214
00:08:29,319 --> 00:08:30,286
And then let me drink it?!
215
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,621
Yeah. It was exciting.
216
00:08:31,655 --> 00:08:32,855
What else do I have going on?
217
00:08:35,726 --> 00:08:38,661
(indistinct chatter)
218
00:08:40,297 --> 00:08:42,065
What do you call
one of these places?
219
00:08:42,099 --> 00:08:43,499
Where we are now?
220
00:08:43,534 --> 00:08:45,401
A home?
No kiddin'!
221
00:08:45,436 --> 00:08:46,636
After you went back to sleep,
222
00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:49,205
you opened a soup kitchen
in our living room.
223
00:08:49,239 --> 00:08:51,808
We fed 50 people today, Dad.
224
00:08:51,842 --> 00:08:54,043
Damn it.
Don't be so hard on yourself, Dad.
225
00:08:54,078 --> 00:08:56,012
Next time,
we'll feed a hundred.
226
00:08:57,748 --> 00:08:59,449
Is anyone peeing here?
227
00:08:59,483 --> 00:09:00,850
Yes.
228
00:09:03,387 --> 00:09:07,023
Smith, we've received word that
a Belgian terrorist is in town,
229
00:09:07,057 --> 00:09:08,591
and I want you to kill him.
230
00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:09,592
(Stan snores)
231
00:09:09,626 --> 00:09:11,027
Smith, are you falling asleep?
232
00:09:11,061 --> 00:09:13,196
Ah, sorry sir,
just a little tired.
233
00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:14,464
Oh, not to worry.
234
00:09:14,498 --> 00:09:16,299
I've got some cocaine
right here.
235
00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:18,534
But... i-isn't that illegal?
236
00:09:18,569 --> 00:09:22,939
Ah... okay. You think
cocaine is a problem.
237
00:09:22,973 --> 00:09:25,575
But I've done it for 32 years.
238
00:09:25,609 --> 00:09:29,545
See, I'm part of a group of
responsible cocaine users.
239
00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:32,448
We adhere to strict rules
to ensure things don't
240
00:09:32,483 --> 00:09:33,583
get out of control.
241
00:09:33,617 --> 00:09:34,650
Rules, sir?
242
00:09:34,685 --> 00:09:37,253
It's not used to feel good.
243
00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:39,489
Not for base pleasure,
certainly.
244
00:09:39,523 --> 00:09:41,624
It's a medicine
to improve our lives,
245
00:09:41,658 --> 00:09:43,993
like penicillin or opium.
246
00:09:44,027 --> 00:09:46,062
Uh, I-I think I'll just
get some shuteye.
247
00:09:46,096 --> 00:09:47,196
Of course, of course.
248
00:09:47,231 --> 00:09:49,465
Perhaps opium
is more your speed.
249
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:52,802
See, I'm also part of a group
of responsible opium users.
250
00:09:52,836 --> 00:09:54,476
Actually, I'm just gonna
go do my mission.
251
00:09:54,505 --> 00:09:55,872
More for me, then.
(laughs)
252
00:09:55,906 --> 00:09:58,241
Would you mind locking my door
on the way out?
253
00:09:58,275 --> 00:09:59,509
Yes, sir.
254
00:10:04,414 --> 00:10:07,183
I can play the bass solo
to "My Generation."
255
00:10:07,217 --> 00:10:09,418
(rambling bass sounds):
Bum-didabum-dibum- dibum-bum-bum...
256
00:10:09,453 --> 00:10:11,754
Bum-didabum-dibum-
dibum-bum-bum...
257
00:10:17,194 --> 00:10:19,295
Where are you off to,
shiny briefcase?
258
00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:20,830
To kill another terrorist.
259
00:10:20,864 --> 00:10:23,933
Oh. There's something
you might want to see first.
260
00:10:23,967 --> 00:10:27,503
So, your sleepwalking self
came to me earlier.
261
00:10:28,605 --> 00:10:30,573
Oh, hi, awake Stan.
262
00:10:30,607 --> 00:10:31,908
I didn't see you there.
263
00:10:31,942 --> 00:10:34,710
I was just reading my favorite
best seller, The Bible.
264
00:10:34,745 --> 00:10:36,813
We shot this in
a home you built
265
00:10:36,847 --> 00:10:38,414
for Habitat for Humanity.
Shh.
266
00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:41,184
I thought it was about time
we had a little chat.
267
00:10:41,218 --> 00:10:43,319
You see, I'm your conscience.
268
00:10:43,353 --> 00:10:44,854
You killed a hundred people
269
00:10:44,888 --> 00:10:47,924
and I'm not letting you kill
anyone ever again.
270
00:10:47,958 --> 00:10:49,725
Plus, I'm gonna keep doing
everything I can
271
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,761
to make up for what you've done.
272
00:10:51,795 --> 00:10:53,796
That's great.
You're really digging deep
273
00:10:53,831 --> 00:10:54,931
and I'm proud of you.
274
00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:56,933
Now, there's just
the issue of your payment.
275
00:10:56,967 --> 00:10:58,534
(chuckling):
I'm sorry, I'm tapped out.
276
00:10:58,569 --> 00:11:00,069
I keep giving away money.
277
00:11:00,103 --> 00:11:03,139
Well... I accept
several forms of payment.
278
00:11:03,173 --> 00:11:05,208
Whoa-ho! Don't need
to see that! (laughs)
279
00:11:05,242 --> 00:11:06,943
From here on out,
it's just bookkeeping.
280
00:11:06,977 --> 00:11:09,478
This goody-goody
thinks he runs my life.
281
00:11:09,513 --> 00:11:10,613
He can't stop me!
282
00:11:14,184 --> 00:11:15,318
(TV clicks on)
283
00:11:15,352 --> 00:11:16,686
STAN (over TV):
So... just like that?
284
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:17,920
ROGER (over TV):
Mmm, higher.
285
00:11:17,955 --> 00:11:19,255
STAN: You turned the
camera off, right?
286
00:11:19,289 --> 00:11:20,523
ROGER:
Don't talk! Don't talk.
287
00:11:20,557 --> 00:11:22,625
288
00:11:31,134 --> 00:11:34,203
(sighs) If I'm gonna pull
this off, I got to be sharp.
289
00:11:34,238 --> 00:11:36,305
So, just a little shuteye.
290
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:38,341
But I'll be damned
if I'm gonna let sleepwalking me
291
00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:39,475
screw up my mission.
292
00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:42,144
(phone beeps)
293
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,980
I left an envelope
at the front desk.
294
00:11:44,014 --> 00:11:46,182
Have a bellboy bring it to me
in 25 minutes.
295
00:11:49,219 --> 00:11:50,219
(beep)
296
00:11:58,262 --> 00:12:01,964
(alarm beeping)
297
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,835
Just as I planned...
298
00:12:11,675 --> 00:12:14,043
Couldn't get the bed
through the door, huh?
299
00:12:14,077 --> 00:12:16,312
Sorry, buttmunch. I win.
300
00:12:17,314 --> 00:12:19,649
301
00:12:25,756 --> 00:12:28,057
(clicking)
302
00:12:28,091 --> 00:12:30,026
What the hell?
303
00:12:35,632 --> 00:12:36,899
Gummy bears?!
304
00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:38,367
He replaced my bullets
305
00:12:38,402 --> 00:12:40,536
with gummy bears
from the minibar.
306
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:42,271
That's gonna cost me
seven dollars!
307
00:12:42,306 --> 00:12:43,839
Oh, he left money.
308
00:12:43,874 --> 00:12:45,207
Well, I can't be mad about--
309
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,409
Wait, that's my money!
310
00:12:48,946 --> 00:12:51,047
All right, this Belgian
is not going to
311
00:12:51,081 --> 00:12:52,515
slip through our fingers again.
312
00:12:52,549 --> 00:12:56,285
We have intel that he's planning
an attack on the downtown IHOP.
313
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,121
And this is a
very important IHOP to me.
314
00:12:59,156 --> 00:13:01,390
It's where I saw the kid
from The Blind Side.
315
00:13:01,425 --> 00:13:03,926
Sir, sir! I know you're
assigning a wet team
316
00:13:03,961 --> 00:13:05,161
to take out
the Belgian terrorist.
317
00:13:05,195 --> 00:13:06,929
But I want to be
the one to do it.
318
00:13:06,964 --> 00:13:07,930
Forget it, Smith.
319
00:13:07,965 --> 00:13:09,865
You had your chance
and you blew it.
320
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:12,201
And you bought some
really expensive candy.
321
00:13:12,235 --> 00:13:13,235
But you don't understand!
322
00:13:13,236 --> 00:13:14,804
I have to do this!
323
00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:17,807
I have to prove to someone that
he can't stop me from killing.
324
00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:20,543
Who?
Well, it's... it's me.
325
00:13:20,577 --> 00:13:22,945
It's hard to explain,
but there's a part of me
326
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,780
that doesn't want me
to kill anymore.
327
00:13:24,815 --> 00:13:26,382
Is it the same part of you
328
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:28,584
that forgot to pull up
his fly this morning?
329
00:13:28,618 --> 00:13:29,752
Uhp, sorry.
330
00:13:29,786 --> 00:13:31,687
Leave it, Smith.
331
00:13:33,724 --> 00:13:37,059
Yes... that's very nice.
332
00:13:37,094 --> 00:13:38,928
But this is very concerning.
333
00:13:38,962 --> 00:13:40,863
If you can't
bring yourself to kill,
334
00:13:40,897 --> 00:13:43,632
then there's no longer
a place for you at the CIA.
335
00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:44,633
I'm afraid you're fired.
336
00:13:44,668 --> 00:13:45,501
Fired?!
337
00:13:45,535 --> 00:13:46,936
Yes. And from now on,
338
00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:48,537
if you see me on the street,
339
00:13:48,572 --> 00:13:51,574
understand that I'll have
to pretend I don't know you.
340
00:13:51,608 --> 00:13:53,609
It'll look something like this.
341
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,527
I'm really up a creek,
Dr. Penguin.
342
00:14:02,647 --> 00:14:04,701
Wait, hold that thought.
343
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:07,295
Ah, I can never get this.
344
00:14:07,329 --> 00:14:09,164
Is it too cool in here?
I'm fine.
345
00:14:09,198 --> 00:14:11,733
But are you... are you close
to not being fine, maybe?
346
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:12,767
Like, on the cool side?
347
00:14:12,802 --> 00:14:13,802
I'll turn it up.
(heater revs up)
348
00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:15,603
I got to get a
digital one of these.
349
00:14:15,638 --> 00:14:17,405
I got to get in
the 21st century.
350
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:19,440
I got to join up.
351
00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:23,645
I know I'm going to be
too warm in a minute.
352
00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:24,813
So, did you kill
that terrorist?
353
00:14:24,847 --> 00:14:28,049
No. Sleepwalking Stan
got in the way.
354
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:30,485
And now that I can't kill,
Bullock fired me.
355
00:14:30,519 --> 00:14:31,619
(sighs)
356
00:14:31,654 --> 00:14:34,155
Looks like my
goody two-shoes side won.
357
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,024
Not necessarily.
358
00:14:36,058 --> 00:14:37,025
What do you mean?
359
00:14:37,059 --> 00:14:38,226
Well, your conscience says
360
00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:40,161
he's not going to
let you kill again.
361
00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:42,197
So, all you have to do
is kill someone
362
00:14:42,231 --> 00:14:44,432
and he'll realize you're
the one calling the shots
363
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:46,301
and he'll have to
leave you alone forever.
364
00:14:46,335 --> 00:14:48,036
But I can't kill
that terrorist.
365
00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:49,337
I'm not in the CIA anymore.
366
00:14:49,371 --> 00:14:50,605
Forget the terrorist.
367
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,241
You just have to find
any bad guy and kill him.
368
00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:54,709
Then you'll be back
to your old self
369
00:14:54,743 --> 00:14:55,844
and you can get your job back.
370
00:14:55,878 --> 00:14:57,979
I suppose, but who can I kill?
371
00:14:58,013 --> 00:15:00,348
Well, just off
the top of my head,
372
00:15:00,382 --> 00:15:01,850
Jeff Watley.
Who's that?
373
00:15:01,884 --> 00:15:02,851
Real bad guy.
374
00:15:02,885 --> 00:15:03,985
Worst of the worst.
375
00:15:04,019 --> 00:15:05,019
Just awful.
376
00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:06,120
Come on, I'll
explain on the way.
377
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,356
This Watley's a real sicko.
378
00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:11,226
Got nabbed for sex trafficking
in Lower Manhattan
379
00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:12,260
right after 9/11.
380
00:15:12,294 --> 00:15:13,895
He was running a
kiddie porn ring,
381
00:15:13,929 --> 00:15:16,030
but before the Feds
could drop the net on him,
382
00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,032
he moved the whole
operation to Nova Scotia,
383
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,767
where it's nice and legal.
384
00:15:19,802 --> 00:15:21,269
So, he's got it coming.
385
00:15:21,303 --> 00:15:22,704
Oh, it doesn't stop there.
386
00:15:22,738 --> 00:15:25,607
Guy starts moving drugs
between Nogales and Tucson.
387
00:15:25,641 --> 00:15:27,542
This case actually
goes to trial,
388
00:15:27,576 --> 00:15:29,677
but Benton was
on the bench, so...
389
00:15:29,712 --> 00:15:30,833
(chuckling):
need I say more?
390
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,347
Only if you want me
to understand.
391
00:15:35,618 --> 00:15:37,318
Okay. With this guy,
you're going to want
392
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,454
to shoot him in the face
and ask questions later.
393
00:15:39,488 --> 00:15:40,989
Very bad person.
394
00:15:42,091 --> 00:15:43,324
All right, we're here.
395
00:15:44,393 --> 00:15:45,627
Take whatever you want!
396
00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:46,828
Please don't hurt me!
397
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,364
It's payback time,
you son of a bitch!
398
00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:50,665
What?!
399
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,200
Hey... I remember you.
400
00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:54,235
You're that guy
who freaked out when I got
401
00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,271
the last pretzel at Wetzel's,
like, two weeks ago.
402
00:15:56,305 --> 00:15:57,639
What are you
waiting for?! Kill him!
403
00:15:57,673 --> 00:15:59,440
Pretzel?
404
00:15:59,475 --> 00:16:01,476
What about all that horrible
stuff you said he did?
405
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:02,543
I was lying.
406
00:16:02,578 --> 00:16:03,811
But it doesn't change the fact
407
00:16:03,846 --> 00:16:05,079
that once you kill this guy
408
00:16:05,114 --> 00:16:06,748
you'll be free
of your conscience.
409
00:16:06,782 --> 00:16:08,216
And I'll have my vengeance.
410
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,351
No, Roger, it doesn't
work like that.
411
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,087
I only kill to protect my
country and people I love.
412
00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:15,456
I only kill because I have to.
413
00:16:15,491 --> 00:16:16,824
Wait a minute.
414
00:16:16,859 --> 00:16:19,327
What if sleepwalking me
had to kill?
415
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,530
What are you talking about?
416
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:25,033
Well, the terrorist is
planning to blow up an IHOP.
417
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,670
So, I just need to put everyone
sleepwalking Stan loves
418
00:16:28,704 --> 00:16:32,073
into that IHOP, fall asleep,
and make sleepwalking Stan
419
00:16:32,107 --> 00:16:33,942
kill the terrorist himself.
420
00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:35,043
If he refuses,
421
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,844
he'll have to see
everyone he loves
422
00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:38,513
get blown to pieces.
423
00:16:38,547 --> 00:16:40,214
Seems like a perfect plan to me.
424
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,950
But then again, I've only had
three hours of sleep
425
00:16:41,984 --> 00:16:43,284
in the last week and a half.
426
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,321
I even offered you the pretzel!
427
00:16:46,355 --> 00:16:48,056
Yeah, after you
drowned it in mustard!
428
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,324
This isn't over, Watley!
429
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:53,561
430
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,640
431
00:17:17,519 --> 00:17:19,520
432
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,999
Come on, guys, it's time to eat.
433
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,435
(car engine revving)
434
00:17:46,749 --> 00:17:48,649
There you are, Stan.
435
00:17:48,684 --> 00:17:51,085
Why did you want us
to meet you at an IHOP?
436
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,587
Oh, good, you came.
437
00:17:52,621 --> 00:17:54,389
There's no way he'll
let you guys die.
438
00:17:54,423 --> 00:17:55,723
Um... what?
439
00:17:55,758 --> 00:17:57,525
Just sit tight,
you're going to love this.
440
00:17:57,559 --> 00:17:59,594
(doorbell rings)
441
00:17:59,628 --> 00:18:01,763
(Belgian accent):
This IHOP has desecrated
442
00:18:01,797 --> 00:18:02,964
the Belgian waffle
443
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:04,699
for the last time!
444
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:07,835
What you call the
"Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity"
445
00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:10,805
I call spitting in the face
of my countrymen!
446
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,507
But that's served with pancakes.
447
00:18:12,541 --> 00:18:14,275
Shut up, pig dog!
448
00:18:14,309 --> 00:18:15,309
449
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,145
(all gasp)
450
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,613
Oh, no!
451
00:18:18,647 --> 00:18:19,947
Save us, Stan!
452
00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:21,282
You got it, babe.
453
00:18:21,316 --> 00:18:22,283
Good night.
454
00:18:22,317 --> 00:18:23,918
(snoring)
455
00:18:25,654 --> 00:18:28,022
Ah, oh, what's going on?
456
00:18:32,628 --> 00:18:35,296
Oh, I'm at IHOP
with everyone I love!
457
00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:36,831
What a perfect Sunday.
458
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:39,667
Dad, that crazy French guy
is going to kill us all!
459
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:40,968
Y-You got to stop him!
460
00:18:44,139 --> 00:18:46,207
But that's not me.
461
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:47,341
I can't kill anyone.
462
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,509
You have to, Dad!
463
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,044
You have to save us!
464
00:18:50,079 --> 00:18:51,579
But I... I can't.
465
00:18:51,613 --> 00:18:53,548
It's... it's wrong.
466
00:18:53,582 --> 00:18:56,250
Not when you're protecting
your loved ones.
467
00:18:56,285 --> 00:18:57,852
For Belgium!
468
00:18:59,154 --> 00:19:00,221
469
00:19:14,002 --> 00:19:15,136
(moans in pain)
470
00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:17,405
Oh, good, I didn't
have to kill him.
471
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,141
Mister, no!
What are you doing?!
472
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,679
Please, don't make me do it!
473
00:19:24,713 --> 00:19:26,981
(all gasp twice)
474
00:19:27,015 --> 00:19:28,983
Come on, now. I'm-I'm
giving you a chance here.
475
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,920
This is terrible.
476
00:19:32,955 --> 00:19:35,022
You're hurting us both,
almost equally.
477
00:19:35,057 --> 00:19:36,357
Nobody's winning here.
478
00:19:36,391 --> 00:19:37,558
This is awful.
479
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,193
Oh, man, he's still reaching!
480
00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:40,428
Aw, gee whiz.
481
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:43,831
Oh, God! Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
482
00:19:43,866 --> 00:19:46,601
Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
483
00:19:46,635 --> 00:19:49,003
(sighs) It's over.
484
00:19:50,572 --> 00:19:52,406
I won't have what he's having.
485
00:19:57,479 --> 00:19:59,847
Yes, sir. Thank you.
486
00:19:59,882 --> 00:20:01,015
Well, that was Bullock.
487
00:20:01,049 --> 00:20:03,484
He was calling me
to offer my job back and...
488
00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:05,119
two pounds of mushrooms.
489
00:20:05,154 --> 00:20:06,721
That's great, honey!
490
00:20:06,755 --> 00:20:08,589
And I hope
you said yes to both.
491
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:09,590
Sleep well.
492
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,025
Oh, I will.
493
00:20:11,059 --> 00:20:14,395
I don't think my conscience is
going to bother me anymore.
494
00:20:14,429 --> 00:20:16,164
Good night.
495
00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,199
496
00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:21,569
(eagle screeches)
497
00:20:21,603 --> 00:20:22,904
(horse sputters)
498
00:20:23,906 --> 00:20:26,040
499
00:20:28,911 --> 00:20:30,178
What are you doing here?
500
00:20:30,212 --> 00:20:31,612
I thought I got rid of you.
501
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,613
Oh, no.
502
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,048
You got me to kill a man.
503
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:35,516
And now I understand
504
00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:38,119
that the world's not as
black-and-white as I thought.
505
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,654
It's gray.
506
00:20:39,688 --> 00:20:42,523
That's why it takes two of us
to ride through this world.
507
00:20:42,558 --> 00:20:44,358
So... we're partners?
508
00:20:44,393 --> 00:20:45,826
Till the bitter end.
509
00:20:45,861 --> 00:20:47,094
All right, then, friend.
510
00:20:47,129 --> 00:20:48,729
Put 'er there!
511
00:20:50,252 --> 00:20:52,186
Hyah!
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
512
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:53,954
Oh, God! Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
513
00:20:53,989 --> 00:21:03,714
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
514
00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:08,314
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