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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:08,150 GEORGE: "Since the beginning of time... 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:15,870 .."man has needed a retreat, a refuge, a cave, 3 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:21,359 "somewhere he can take stock, reflect on things... 4 00:00:22,799 --> 00:00:26,229 ".. or even just, let's be honest here, 5 00:00:26,279 --> 00:00:31,759 "escape everyday life." 6 00:00:34,669 --> 00:00:37,108 Come on, Georgie! You can do it! 7 00:00:37,158 --> 00:00:38,958 Not yet, he can't. 8 00:00:41,278 --> 00:00:43,878 - OK, maybe not yet. - (LAUGHS) 9 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,118 SHAY: Arlo? You said you'd help! 10 00:00:50,038 --> 00:00:52,347 - Arlo? - GEORGE: Arlo? 11 00:00:52,397 --> 00:00:54,347 - Occupied, Dad. - You're hiding from your sister. 12 00:00:54,397 --> 00:00:55,827 No, I'm not. I swear. 13 00:00:55,877 --> 00:00:57,827 Finish up and go and help your sister. 14 00:00:57,877 --> 00:00:59,747 - Hey, how was your surf? - Don't change the subject. 15 00:00:59,797 --> 00:01:03,097 - Not any better, eh? - Just get out of there, now. 16 00:01:06,477 --> 00:01:09,946 - Arlo was meant to help. - Arlo is indisposed. 17 00:01:09,996 --> 00:01:12,036 Arlo is hiding. 18 00:01:14,156 --> 00:01:16,426 - You OK for school? - Oh, yeah. 19 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:17,946 Unbelievably thrilled. 20 00:01:17,996 --> 00:01:20,946 (PIPES GROAN) 21 00:01:20,996 --> 00:01:24,116 - (BUBBLING) - What the hell is that? 22 00:01:27,035 --> 00:01:30,115 - Oh! - This is not happening. 23 00:01:33,435 --> 00:01:37,265 - Arlo, what'd you do? - Nothing unusual. I swear! 24 00:01:37,315 --> 00:01:39,715 We're living in the Third World! 25 00:01:42,315 --> 00:01:47,034 "The day our septic tank exploded was an ominous one. 26 00:01:48,394 --> 00:01:51,714 "A metaphor, if you like, for what was to come... 27 00:01:53,474 --> 00:01:56,584 .."on the day when there was no refuge." 28 00:01:56,634 --> 00:01:58,384 Pongs a bit. 29 00:01:58,434 --> 00:02:00,343 Yes, Woody, it does. 30 00:02:00,393 --> 00:02:02,343 - Not ideal. - No. 31 00:02:02,393 --> 00:02:04,383 If I knew about plumbing, I'd get stuck right in. 32 00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:06,863 Yeah, I'm sure, but this plumber you called me... 33 00:02:06,913 --> 00:02:09,143 - He knows about plumbing, right? - Bill McNamara? 34 00:02:09,193 --> 00:02:11,823 - Best plumber in Weld. - Out of how many? 35 00:02:11,873 --> 00:02:14,583 - You'd be surprised. - SHAY: Dad! 36 00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:16,303 Look, you take the young ones to school. 37 00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,982 I'll hang here. I'll explain the problem. 38 00:02:18,032 --> 00:02:19,582 Well, I think the problem's self-evident. 39 00:02:19,632 --> 00:02:20,942 Yeah. 40 00:02:20,992 --> 00:02:22,862 SHAY: It stinks through the whole house. 41 00:02:22,912 --> 00:02:24,982 - Yeah, so I noticed. - That's all the dead bacteria. 42 00:02:25,032 --> 00:02:27,502 It's producing organic compounds like hydrogen sulfide. 43 00:02:27,552 --> 00:02:28,982 Whatever. It still stinks. 44 00:02:29,032 --> 00:02:30,662 SHAY: Seriously, we can't live with this. 45 00:02:30,712 --> 00:02:32,262 - One tick. - Dad! 46 00:02:32,312 --> 00:02:34,941 - How late do you want us to be? - Thanks for coming. 47 00:02:34,991 --> 00:02:37,421 Only takes a phone call, mate. 48 00:02:37,471 --> 00:02:39,821 Even in this dead-end town. 49 00:02:39,871 --> 00:02:41,661 Yeah, good. 50 00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:43,741 Woody's round the back. He'll explain everything. 51 00:02:43,791 --> 00:02:47,091 I gotta rush, sorry. I'll be back as soon as I can. 52 00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:53,700 I'll come in and explain what happened. 53 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,580 You're not gonna explain exactly what happened, are you? 54 00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:57,900 I can live without the shame of being known as the new kid, 55 00:02:57,950 --> 00:02:59,500 let alone the one with the exploding dunny. 56 00:02:59,550 --> 00:03:01,660 Yeah, you're right. Fair call. I'll phrase it better. 57 00:03:01,710 --> 00:03:03,900 Dad. What do you notice about this school? 58 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,350 - Sorry? - Look carefully, Dad. 59 00:03:08,030 --> 00:03:09,699 Oh, shit. Uniforms. 60 00:03:09,749 --> 00:03:11,539 Why didn't you mention we had to wear uniforms? 61 00:03:11,589 --> 00:03:13,259 - I didn't know. - You researched the school. 62 00:03:13,309 --> 00:03:14,859 - Like you researched the house. - I did. Online. 63 00:03:14,909 --> 00:03:17,019 - No photos of kids in uniforms? - It didn't really twig. 64 00:03:17,069 --> 00:03:19,459 - House -- the sequel. - I will get you uniforms. 65 00:03:19,509 --> 00:03:22,179 - It will be fine. - No, it won't be fine. 66 00:03:22,229 --> 00:03:24,859 As if being the new kids wasn't bad enough, we're the new kids 67 00:03:24,909 --> 00:03:26,818 who couldn't get their shit together to get uniforms. 68 00:03:26,868 --> 00:03:29,338 Plus we're the Australian new kids, and Kiwis are 69 00:03:29,388 --> 00:03:31,138 notoriously racist when it comes to Australians. 70 00:03:31,188 --> 00:03:32,818 - Three strikes already. - Four. 71 00:03:32,868 --> 00:03:34,338 If you mention the toilet thing. 72 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,898 We are not mentioning the toilet thing. 73 00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:37,658 No-one is mentioning the toilet thing. 74 00:03:37,708 --> 00:03:40,448 Now, now... Now, it'll be fine. Come on. 75 00:03:46,747 --> 00:03:48,587 This way, guys. 76 00:03:51,627 --> 00:03:53,587 Excuse me. 77 00:03:57,387 --> 00:03:59,776 Um... I'm looking for someone to help me. 78 00:03:59,826 --> 00:04:02,976 - Aren't we all, Mr Turner? - You know who I am? 79 00:04:03,026 --> 00:04:05,416 Yes. Which must make you Shay and you Arlo. 80 00:04:05,466 --> 00:04:07,616 Welcome to Weld District High School. 81 00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:11,496 I'm Ms Dennis -- Tracey -- your form teacher and fellow exile. 82 00:04:11,546 --> 00:04:13,616 No, no, no, we're not in the same year. 83 00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:15,096 Oh, it's OK, Shay, relax. 84 00:04:15,146 --> 00:04:17,135 Our form classes are mixed across all years. 85 00:04:17,185 --> 00:04:19,855 I'm also Arlo's history teacher and your house dean. 86 00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:23,775 We multi-task around here, in our little dead-end town. 87 00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:25,695 Come with me -- I'll get you settled in 88 00:04:25,745 --> 00:04:27,695 with timetables and all that. 89 00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:29,935 You'll need to speak to Penny in the office about paperwork. 90 00:04:29,985 --> 00:04:31,655 - Come on. - They haven't got uniforms. 91 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,774 We can let that slide for a couple of days. 92 00:04:33,824 --> 00:04:36,764 Penny will point you in the right direction. 93 00:04:38,504 --> 00:04:41,184 TRACEY: Alright, you lot, settle down. 94 00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:50,404 I want you to welcome Shay and Arlo. 95 00:04:50,454 --> 00:04:52,813 They'll be starting here today. 96 00:04:52,863 --> 00:04:55,253 As is our way, I need someone to buddy up with them, 97 00:04:55,303 --> 00:04:56,853 make sure they know where they're going. 98 00:04:56,903 --> 00:04:59,083 I'll be Arlo's buddy! We're buddies already. 99 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,203 TRACEY: Thank you, Billy. 100 00:05:04,983 --> 00:05:08,382 - And I'll look after Shay. - And thank you, Lindsay. 101 00:05:09,382 --> 00:05:11,252 Isn't this awesome? 102 00:05:11,302 --> 00:05:13,402 I was so excited when I heard we're in 103 00:05:13,452 --> 00:05:15,852 just about every class together. 104 00:05:20,902 --> 00:05:23,492 You know the first thing you need to know? 105 00:05:23,542 --> 00:05:25,211 No... 106 00:05:25,261 --> 00:05:27,861 We don't like smart-arses round here. 107 00:05:28,781 --> 00:05:30,491 If you say so. 108 00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:33,331 Your dad's a smart-arse. 109 00:05:33,381 --> 00:05:35,500 Hope you're not the same. 110 00:06:02,069 --> 00:06:04,516 Good morning -- uh, Penny from the school 111 00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:06,315 said this is where I come to get uniforms. 112 00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,313 - For the school? - Yeah. 113 00:06:08,363 --> 00:06:10,511 - No. - Penny said this was the shop... 114 00:06:10,561 --> 00:06:13,948 Normally, yes, but no. We don't have any at the moment. 115 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,505 - None at all? - It's the middle of the term. 116 00:06:16,555 --> 00:06:18,503 - Everyone's got their uniforms. - I need uniforms for my kids. 117 00:06:18,553 --> 00:06:20,941 - They've just started at school. - Try in Stafford. 118 00:06:20,991 --> 00:06:23,349 It's not the dead-end Weld is. 119 00:06:26,825 --> 00:06:31,061 You're brave. Showing your face in public today. 120 00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:34,448 I called Weld a 'dead-end' in the column I write. 121 00:06:34,498 --> 00:06:36,246 Yeah. You did. 122 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,164 All day, people have thrown that phrase in my face. 123 00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:40,722 - Well, I'm not surprised. - But I write for a Sydney paper. 124 00:06:40,771 --> 00:06:44,118 There's a thing. I don't know if you've heard of it. 125 00:06:44,168 --> 00:06:46,236 It's called the internet. 126 00:06:47,005 --> 00:06:49,793 - Everyone's read my column? - Well, no, but... 127 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,030 They've certainly read all about it. 128 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,428 GEORGE: This was a total misrepresentation 129 00:06:54,478 --> 00:06:55,867 of everything I wrote. 130 00:06:55,917 --> 00:06:57,865 You didn't call Weld a 'dead-end town'? 131 00:06:57,915 --> 00:07:00,262 Well, well, yes, but those were only 3 words out of 800 -- 132 00:07:00,312 --> 00:07:02,260 two, actually, because I hyphenated them. 133 00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:05,937 Yeah, but hyphen or no hyphen, as far as words go... 134 00:07:05,987 --> 00:07:07,855 But I meant them in an affectionate way. 135 00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,733 That sense doesn't really leap off the page. 136 00:07:09,783 --> 00:07:11,651 Because the only words they used from my column 137 00:07:11,701 --> 00:07:14,129 were 'dead', 'end' and 'town', and I meant them in the sense 138 00:07:14,179 --> 00:07:18,285 that Weld is somewhere where I feel relaxed, at home. 139 00:07:18,335 --> 00:07:22,121 I think when people read the word 'dead', 140 00:07:22,171 --> 00:07:24,559 they stop thinking warm, fuzzy thoughts. 141 00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:27,476 Yeah, well, I originally wrote 'kinda dead-end town', 142 00:07:27,526 --> 00:07:30,353 but I... I had to cut the 'kinda' 'cause it was 801 words. 143 00:07:30,403 --> 00:07:32,750 - And your column's '800 Words'. - So it has to be 800 words. 144 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,828 Does anyone actually count how many words it is? 145 00:07:34,878 --> 00:07:36,427 I do. 146 00:07:36,477 --> 00:07:38,465 It's a thing I have. 147 00:07:38,515 --> 00:07:39,983 A rule. 148 00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:41,702 It's not weird. 149 00:07:44,349 --> 00:07:46,657 I don't think the 'kinda' would have made any difference. 150 00:07:46,707 --> 00:07:49,094 I need to speak to whoever wrote this. 151 00:07:49,144 --> 00:07:51,132 - (LAUGHS) Good luck there. - Why? 152 00:07:51,182 --> 00:07:55,418 You'll see. But first, you should read the other article. 153 00:08:04,969 --> 00:08:06,567 Hello? 154 00:08:07,766 --> 00:08:09,874 - Mr Turner. - Hey, Constable. 155 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:12,312 Tom. Call me Tom. Everyone does. 156 00:08:12,362 --> 00:08:15,349 Constable Tom, to give me my full title. 157 00:08:15,399 --> 00:08:18,226 - Do you work here? - Oh, I do the photos. 158 00:08:18,276 --> 00:08:21,673 The law is my job, but photojournalism is my passion. 159 00:08:22,272 --> 00:08:24,739 The latest defacement of the billboard. 160 00:08:24,789 --> 00:08:28,616 I know who's doing it. Just a question of catching him. 161 00:08:28,666 --> 00:08:31,823 Idiot can't even spell 'dead' properly. 162 00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:36,848 - Is the editor here? - No, no. He's never here. 163 00:08:36,898 --> 00:08:38,446 No-one's ever here. 164 00:08:38,496 --> 00:08:40,604 Well, how does it get published? 165 00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,571 Just does. Bit of a mystery, really. 166 00:08:50,035 --> 00:08:52,352 Go away. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. 167 00:08:52,402 --> 00:08:54,231 Have you seen this? 168 00:08:54,281 --> 00:08:55,979 - Some kid... - Jared McNamara. 169 00:08:56,029 --> 00:08:58,097 Your buddy Lindsay's little brother. 170 00:08:58,147 --> 00:09:01,094 .. shoved it in my face and told me to go back to Australia-land. 171 00:09:01,144 --> 00:09:05,390 - No! This cannot get any worse. - ARLO: Two pages over. 172 00:09:12,383 --> 00:09:15,120 BILLY: It's a nice photo of you, though. 173 00:09:21,374 --> 00:09:23,452 How'd you go? 174 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,649 Great, thanks. 175 00:09:40,675 --> 00:09:44,456 Hey, boss. Things got a bit out of hand, eh? 176 00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:51,656 So Bill basically took one look at it, 177 00:09:51,705 --> 00:09:54,056 said he wouldn't touch it, then he phoned the council, 178 00:09:54,106 --> 00:09:56,097 and the council guys came, 179 00:09:56,147 --> 00:09:58,058 and then the guys with the freaky suits came, 180 00:09:58,108 --> 00:10:00,019 and then they just stood around for ages 181 00:10:00,069 --> 00:10:02,340 talking about your column and that bloody Aussie. 182 00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:05,421 Alright, I said, every man is entitled to their own opinion, 183 00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:07,222 and just because everyone hates that opinion 184 00:10:07,272 --> 00:10:09,103 doesn't make the man less of a man. 185 00:10:09,153 --> 00:10:10,663 Yeah, thanks, Woody. 186 00:10:10,713 --> 00:10:12,584 Then they gave me this to give to you. 187 00:10:12,634 --> 00:10:14,905 Like a notification for biohazard stuff. 188 00:10:14,955 --> 00:10:16,706 There's a thingy in there letting you know 189 00:10:16,756 --> 00:10:18,187 you can't use the toilet inside. 190 00:10:18,237 --> 00:10:20,738 - What? - Till everything's sorted out. 191 00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:24,830 Some crap about penalties for having an illegal septic tank. 192 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,951 I didn't even know I had a septic tank till this morning. 193 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:30,912 Yeah, I know. Think it just magically disappears, don't ya? 194 00:10:30,962 --> 00:10:34,124 But there is a silver lining. Yeah. Come with me. 195 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,677 Behold! 196 00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:43,478 Behold what? 197 00:10:43,528 --> 00:10:45,629 Well, the site for your new thinking place. 198 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,480 I cleared it this morning. 199 00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:50,161 What, are you proposing we put a toilet here? 200 00:10:50,211 --> 00:10:52,442 Yeah. Just gotta dig a hole and... 201 00:10:52,492 --> 00:10:56,193 I'll fashion a seat out of something and you're laughing. 202 00:10:56,334 --> 00:10:58,084 - Well, thanks, Woody. - No worries. 203 00:10:58,134 --> 00:11:00,805 But I just don't think the kids are gonna go for this idea. 204 00:11:00,856 --> 00:11:02,686 Yeah, but once they check out that view... 205 00:11:02,736 --> 00:11:05,978 Yeah. Still not entirely sure. 206 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:22,295 If you hate it so much, why are you living here? 207 00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:24,016 Not my choice. 208 00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:26,017 Why don't you go back to Seed-ney? 209 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:29,538 What part of "Not my choice" didn't you get? 210 00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:31,739 OTHERS: Ooh! 211 00:11:31,789 --> 00:11:34,300 I bet you think you're better than us. 212 00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:37,142 And you're meant to be my buddy. 213 00:11:37,192 --> 00:11:40,393 Yeah, well, buddy this, buddy. 214 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:42,904 Nice. 215 00:11:42,954 --> 00:11:45,675 Real nice. Thanks, guys. 216 00:11:47,516 --> 00:11:51,228 The history of Weld is about a few families who came here 217 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:55,189 and defeated the vicious natives who thought they owned the land, 218 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,231 even though my family had the papers to prove they did. 219 00:11:58,281 --> 00:12:01,762 These families, which included my family... 220 00:12:06,084 --> 00:12:10,156 .. made the land into farms, which were rich farms, 221 00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:12,717 that made Weld able to have shops, 222 00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,598 which is why the town of Weld exists. 223 00:12:15,649 --> 00:12:17,519 Thank you for listening. 224 00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:20,120 Thank you, Jared. That was... 225 00:12:20,171 --> 00:12:24,122 Yes. Which means we have one more speech to go. Billy. 226 00:12:24,172 --> 00:12:27,574 Uh, miss, why does the new kid not have to give a speech? 227 00:12:28,574 --> 00:12:30,485 Because he just got here, Jared. 228 00:12:30,535 --> 00:12:32,726 Oh, but his dad knows all about Weld. 229 00:12:32,776 --> 00:12:36,408 Why doesn't he tell us why his dad thinks we're all losers? 230 00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,529 Which is not actually true, is it, and also has 231 00:12:38,579 --> 00:12:40,730 absolutely nothing to do with what we're doing here. 232 00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:43,211 - (BELL RINGS) - And that, thankfully, is that. 233 00:12:43,261 --> 00:12:45,372 Billy, we'll pick up your speech tomorrow. 234 00:12:45,422 --> 00:12:47,212 Man, I hate it when that happens. 235 00:12:47,262 --> 00:12:49,774 I was psyched, ready to roll. 236 00:12:49,824 --> 00:12:52,815 - So now you know. - What? 237 00:12:52,865 --> 00:12:55,216 Whose town you're in. 238 00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:58,057 - And don't you forget it. - Forget what? 239 00:12:58,107 --> 00:13:00,268 Yeah. 240 00:13:16,275 --> 00:13:17,706 You gathering some more ammunition 241 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,587 to launch at the next family to settle here? 242 00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:21,628 Yeah. (LAUGHS) Nah. 243 00:13:21,678 --> 00:13:24,669 Every now and then when I'm out, I see a rock that speaks to me. 244 00:13:24,719 --> 00:13:26,230 Literally or in an artistic sense? 245 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,030 You want a hand with that? 246 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,031 - No, no. I'm good. (GROANS) - Come on. 247 00:13:30,081 --> 00:13:31,792 Let me prove I'm not a complete monster. 248 00:13:31,842 --> 00:13:33,593 Why are you a monster? 249 00:13:33,643 --> 00:13:36,834 Didn't you know? I'm now the most hated man in Weld. 250 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,676 - Why? What'd you do? - Front page of the local paper? 251 00:13:39,726 --> 00:13:41,957 Ugh. I never read that propaganda sheet. 252 00:13:42,007 --> 00:13:44,718 Right. Yeah, well, I wrote something about the town. 253 00:13:44,768 --> 00:13:48,439 In my column. You know, about how Weld was a dead-end town. 254 00:13:48,489 --> 00:13:51,081 - Well, that's harsh. - Yeah. I meant it in a good way. 255 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:52,881 Oh -- for a writer, 256 00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:54,922 you might want to choose your words a bit better. 257 00:13:54,972 --> 00:13:56,763 So I'm learning. 258 00:13:56,813 --> 00:13:59,604 But respect to you for managing to piss off Big Mac. 259 00:13:59,654 --> 00:14:02,246 - Big who? - Old man McNamara. 260 00:14:02,296 --> 00:14:04,887 He owns the paper. Thinks he owns the town. 261 00:14:04,937 --> 00:14:06,848 - Monty McNamara? - His dad. 262 00:14:06,898 --> 00:14:10,049 His brood and their demon spawn are everywhere, 263 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,581 and if you're in their bad books, you're deep in the kaka. 264 00:14:47,115 --> 00:14:48,986 (RINGS BELL) 265 00:14:49,036 --> 00:14:51,547 Hi. I'm here about my, um... 266 00:14:51,597 --> 00:14:54,389 I can guess why you're here, Mr Turner. 267 00:14:54,439 --> 00:14:57,870 - Your non-compliant septic tank. - Yes. 268 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,271 The thing is, I'm more than happy to do what I need 269 00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:02,392 to get everything to comply -- replace the tank if necessary... 270 00:15:02,442 --> 00:15:04,113 The consent process is explained 271 00:15:04,163 --> 00:15:05,954 in the paperwork we left with you. 272 00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:07,434 Yeah, well, I'm sure it is, but... 273 00:15:07,484 --> 00:15:09,275 I'm just wondering if you could help us out. 274 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,316 We don't even have a working toilet. 275 00:15:11,366 --> 00:15:14,167 Shame you didn't think of that beforehand. 276 00:15:14,688 --> 00:15:16,878 - Of my septic tank? - Hm. 277 00:15:16,929 --> 00:15:19,200 Or before I wrote the column? 278 00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:23,081 Before you bought the house. But what would I know? 279 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:27,083 I'm just a man in a dead-end job in a dead-end town. 280 00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,854 (PHONE RINGS) 281 00:15:30,975 --> 00:15:32,165 Hello? 282 00:15:32,215 --> 00:15:34,646 WOODY: You have to come home now. 283 00:15:34,696 --> 00:15:37,778 - Woody? - Come home now. 284 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,064 - G'day, George. - Monty. 285 00:15:54,505 --> 00:15:56,066 Mr Turner. 286 00:15:57,306 --> 00:15:59,217 Bill McNamara. 287 00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:02,068 Everyone calls me Big Mac. 288 00:16:03,309 --> 00:16:04,940 George Turner. 289 00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:06,941 George. 290 00:16:06,991 --> 00:16:09,422 You've got a bit of a mess on your hands, haven't you? 291 00:16:09,472 --> 00:16:11,503 GEORGE: "I guess the point I'm trying to make 292 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:15,224 "is there are times when there is no refuge. 293 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,465 "There are times when the battle 294 00:16:17,515 --> 00:16:20,116 "doesn't so much come to your door... 295 00:16:22,678 --> 00:16:28,360 .."as sit on your couch drinking your tea." 296 00:16:29,561 --> 00:16:31,351 BIG MAC: Don't get me wrong. 297 00:16:31,401 --> 00:16:33,672 I think it's great that an esteemed writer 298 00:16:33,722 --> 00:16:35,633 has moved to town. 299 00:16:35,683 --> 00:16:37,794 I write a small column, 300 00:16:37,844 --> 00:16:39,915 which is an anachronism in these blogging times, 301 00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:43,077 for a newspaper -- another anachronism, I guess -- 302 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,277 so I would hardly call myself 'esteemed'. 303 00:16:45,328 --> 00:16:47,599 There you go, using your writerly words. 304 00:16:47,649 --> 00:16:50,400 - Putting me at a disadvantage. - Not really. 305 00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:52,321 And I'm beginning to understand that in terms 306 00:16:52,371 --> 00:16:55,122 of advantage around Weld, you and your family have it. 307 00:16:55,172 --> 00:16:56,923 George, I'm just a simple farmer. 308 00:16:56,973 --> 00:16:59,004 I just dabble in this and that as opportunity allows. 309 00:16:59,054 --> 00:17:01,805 I'm just a guy looking to make a home for me and my family. 310 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:05,056 And I love that. So how's it working out for you? 311 00:17:05,777 --> 00:17:08,118 What can I do for you, Big Mac? 312 00:17:11,939 --> 00:17:13,490 Something stinks, George. 313 00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:15,451 Well, that would be my backyard. 314 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,822 Among other things. 315 00:17:19,182 --> 00:17:22,414 One of the things you dabble in, would that be the local paper? 316 00:17:22,464 --> 00:17:25,455 BIG MAC: I see that more as a community service than a dabble. 317 00:17:25,505 --> 00:17:27,736 Do you want a job? 318 00:17:27,786 --> 00:17:29,217 At your newspaper? 319 00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:30,848 It could use a man of your talents. 320 00:17:30,898 --> 00:17:32,538 Weld isn't exactly thick on the ground 321 00:17:32,588 --> 00:17:34,369 with people who can put pen to paper. 322 00:17:34,419 --> 00:17:36,020 After what your paper wrote about me? 323 00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:37,901 I only wrote about what you wrote about us. 324 00:17:37,951 --> 00:17:40,372 You wrote the article? 325 00:17:40,422 --> 00:17:43,183 Well, strictly speaking, I edited it, as my job as editor. 326 00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:45,784 There was fairness in the editing? I must've missed that. 327 00:17:45,834 --> 00:17:49,026 Yeah, never mind about Monty, George, because the thing is 328 00:17:49,076 --> 00:17:52,397 that this is a crucial time for Weld. 329 00:17:53,838 --> 00:17:55,789 It's important this region is seen 330 00:17:55,839 --> 00:17:57,990 in the most positive possible light. 331 00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,860 For the greater good. 332 00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:03,672 And if we all work together, for this greater good, 333 00:18:03,722 --> 00:18:06,033 then that goes both ways. 334 00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:08,434 You see what I'm saying, George? 335 00:18:08,484 --> 00:18:10,155 It's hard not to, Bill. 336 00:18:10,205 --> 00:18:12,316 Weld is a generous place 337 00:18:12,366 --> 00:18:15,477 that lends a helping hand to those that are generous to it. 338 00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:17,648 I got you the first time. 339 00:18:19,569 --> 00:18:22,670 Just giving you some ideas for your next column. 340 00:18:23,611 --> 00:18:26,322 Well... Good to finally meet you, George. 341 00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,363 Monty here speaks highly of you. 342 00:18:28,413 --> 00:18:30,804 It's a shame Monty didn't speak to me of the septic tank. 343 00:18:30,854 --> 00:18:33,085 I was as surprised as you were, George, 344 00:18:33,135 --> 00:18:35,726 when my brother told me about the whole... 345 00:18:35,776 --> 00:18:38,047 I'm sure we'll talk again, George. 346 00:18:38,097 --> 00:18:40,098 Yeah, I'm sure we will. 347 00:18:42,299 --> 00:18:44,640 (EXHALES) Intense. 348 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,692 I don't think I've ever seen Big Mac that angry. 349 00:18:47,742 --> 00:18:49,932 Hey! You know what you should do? 350 00:18:49,983 --> 00:18:51,933 What? 351 00:18:51,983 --> 00:18:55,185 Write a nice column about Weld to make up for it. 352 00:18:57,106 --> 00:18:59,707 - Thanks, Woody. - Yeah, no worries. 353 00:19:03,508 --> 00:19:05,789 Hey, Aussie! 354 00:19:09,151 --> 00:19:11,262 - We'll see you tomorrow. - Yeah. 355 00:19:11,312 --> 00:19:13,513 It being a school day. 356 00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:16,994 You know what I mean. 357 00:19:18,155 --> 00:19:20,656 Yeah, 'cause you're so subtle. 358 00:19:20,706 --> 00:19:22,657 Do you want to come round to my place? 359 00:19:22,707 --> 00:19:24,948 - I'm all good, thank you. - It's OK if you want. 360 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,419 - Nah, nah. I'm good, thanks. - Are you sure? 'Cause it's OK. 361 00:19:27,469 --> 00:19:29,510 Yeah, I'm pretty good, thanks, Billy. 362 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,711 - Billy! - Hey, Dad. 363 00:19:31,761 --> 00:19:33,472 Your mum wants you at home. 364 00:19:33,522 --> 00:19:35,313 Something about a rock that needs cleaning. 365 00:19:35,363 --> 00:19:37,874 OK. We'll buddy up again tomorrow. 366 00:19:37,924 --> 00:19:40,325 ARLO: I'm pretty alright, thanks. 367 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:44,196 - Where's Dad? - How would I know? 368 00:19:44,246 --> 00:19:48,478 - So your day sucked too, huh? - What's wrong with these people? 369 00:19:48,528 --> 00:19:50,909 So what Dad wrote their town sucks? They're teenagers. 370 00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:52,880 They're meant to think where they live sucks. 371 00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:56,722 - It's where we live. - Don't remind me. 372 00:19:56,772 --> 00:19:58,533 Hey, Aaaaarlo! 373 00:19:59,773 --> 00:20:03,845 What kind of a gay name is Arlo anyway? 374 00:20:03,895 --> 00:20:05,526 I see you've made a special friend too. 375 00:20:05,576 --> 00:20:08,127 Aaaaarlo. 376 00:20:08,177 --> 00:20:11,889 What kind of a halfwit still uses 'gay' like it's an insult? 377 00:20:11,939 --> 00:20:14,660 - Hey. - Hey. 378 00:20:17,021 --> 00:20:19,132 - ZAC: You guys need a lift? - Oh, nah. 379 00:20:19,182 --> 00:20:20,923 Dad's picking us up. Thanks, though. 380 00:20:20,973 --> 00:20:22,533 He hasn't been run out of town yet? 381 00:20:22,583 --> 00:20:24,854 We should be so lucky. 382 00:20:24,904 --> 00:20:27,185 - See ya. - ARLO: 'Bye. 383 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,167 Your new boyfriend doesn't say much, does he? 384 00:20:31,217 --> 00:20:33,218 Don't be an idiot, Arlo. 385 00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:40,261 - Took your time. - Sorry. Been a hell of a day. 386 00:20:40,311 --> 00:20:42,932 Just please say it's been a day that involves a new toilet. 387 00:20:42,982 --> 00:20:44,623 No. 388 00:20:44,673 --> 00:20:46,674 And yes. 389 00:20:52,797 --> 00:20:54,788 I was gonna build walls, and I thought, 390 00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:57,429 "No. Why block that view?" 391 00:20:57,479 --> 00:20:59,310 ARLO: Because views go both ways? 392 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,391 Nah. No-one's gonna see you out here. 393 00:21:01,441 --> 00:21:03,511 Not unless you're a perv with a telescope. 394 00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:06,833 Nope. No way. Not ever. I'm not doing it. 395 00:21:06,883 --> 00:21:09,234 What if I need to go in the middle of the night? 396 00:21:09,284 --> 00:21:11,465 - Well, we could grab a torch. - Yeah. But... 397 00:21:11,515 --> 00:21:13,436 If you do, don't drop it in. 398 00:21:13,486 --> 00:21:16,887 And if you do drop it in, don't bother retrieving it. 399 00:21:16,997 --> 00:21:19,679 Can we eat at The Boat Club tonight? It has actual toilets. 400 00:21:19,729 --> 00:21:21,649 Yes, we can. 401 00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:24,681 Uh, but... 402 00:21:24,731 --> 00:21:27,002 Sorry about that, Woody. 403 00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:29,953 Nah, it's OK. 404 00:21:30,894 --> 00:21:33,195 Some people are more at one with nature than others. 405 00:21:33,245 --> 00:21:34,455 Yeah. 406 00:21:36,936 --> 00:21:38,717 You mind if I'm the one to christen it? 407 00:21:38,767 --> 00:21:41,218 - Go for your life. - Cheers. 408 00:22:01,859 --> 00:22:03,403 SHAY: What's everyone's problem anyway? 409 00:22:03,457 --> 00:22:05,528 They need to get over themselves and wake up 410 00:22:05,578 --> 00:22:07,490 to the fact that this IS a dead-end town. 411 00:22:07,540 --> 00:22:09,491 - No, it's not. - Google "dead-end town". 412 00:22:09,541 --> 00:22:11,132 - Picture of Weld. - No, it's not. No, no. 413 00:22:11,182 --> 00:22:12,974 Weld has a lot of things going for it. 414 00:22:13,024 --> 00:22:14,455 You're only saying that 415 00:22:14,505 --> 00:22:16,016 because you dragged us here against our will. 416 00:22:16,066 --> 00:22:17,417 No. No, I'm not. 417 00:22:17,467 --> 00:22:19,338 Then why did you write it's a dead-end town 418 00:22:19,388 --> 00:22:22,781 and start this nightmare, on top of all other nightmares? 419 00:22:22,831 --> 00:22:25,222 - They were poorly chosen words. - Oh, you think? 420 00:22:25,272 --> 00:22:27,784 - Everything alright here? - Oh, we have no toilet. 421 00:22:27,834 --> 00:22:31,026 - And everyone hates us. - I meant with the food. 422 00:22:31,076 --> 00:22:33,308 - Depends. Did you spit in it? - Ew. 423 00:22:33,358 --> 00:22:35,269 - Shay! - What? It's a fair question. 424 00:22:35,319 --> 00:22:37,431 - Given the circumstances. - No, I didn't spit in it. 425 00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:41,834 Though I can't vouch for the chef. Need anything else? 426 00:22:41,884 --> 00:22:43,755 No, we just... we just need the bill, thanks, Hannah. 427 00:22:43,805 --> 00:22:45,286 Sweet as. 428 00:22:46,847 --> 00:22:50,120 - Right. I'm going before we go. - Again? That's the third time. 429 00:22:50,170 --> 00:22:53,872 We don't know when we're gonna see modern plumbing again. 430 00:22:54,253 --> 00:22:55,533 Me too. 431 00:23:01,337 --> 00:23:03,729 I have an idea how you can make everyone love you. 432 00:23:03,779 --> 00:23:05,450 Is it the same idea as Big Mac's? 433 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:07,212 Oh, ignore Bill. I've got a better idea. 434 00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:10,024 Come and talk at my book club. 435 00:23:11,905 --> 00:23:13,696 I haven't actually written a book. 436 00:23:13,746 --> 00:23:15,417 Well, you've written something, which is way ahead 437 00:23:15,467 --> 00:23:17,058 of anyone else we've had at book club. 438 00:23:17,109 --> 00:23:18,980 Everybody hates what I wrote. 439 00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:21,622 You can start winning the crowd over one person at a time. 440 00:23:21,672 --> 00:23:23,903 Or four, if everyone there likes you. 441 00:23:23,953 --> 00:23:26,825 Thank you, Fiona. Maybe some other time. 442 00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:30,108 But I think I might keep a low profile for a bit. 443 00:23:30,158 --> 00:23:32,950 - Sure? - Yes. It's an interesting idea. 444 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,671 But I... I think I still might pass. 445 00:23:35,722 --> 00:23:39,484 OK. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me. 446 00:23:47,290 --> 00:23:49,321 You're not ready yet. 447 00:23:49,371 --> 00:23:52,243 Hate you to put the 'dead' into 'dead-end'. 448 00:23:55,776 --> 00:23:57,767 I know what you're thinking. 449 00:23:57,817 --> 00:23:59,848 What am I thinking, Woody? 450 00:23:59,898 --> 00:24:02,610 Ah, you're wondering if she's right, that you're past it, 451 00:24:02,660 --> 00:24:06,263 you're washed-up, you're ratshit, you're dreaming, mate. 452 00:24:07,784 --> 00:24:11,136 - It's like you're in my head. - But she did say 'yet'. 453 00:24:11,186 --> 00:24:13,738 Which means that one day, you will be ready. 454 00:24:13,788 --> 00:24:15,790 (LAUGHS) 455 00:24:23,035 --> 00:24:28,148 GEORGE: "This place -- this place I've displaced my family to -- 456 00:24:28,198 --> 00:24:30,790 "was meant to be our refuge. 457 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,833 But what do you do, where do you go, 458 00:24:34,883 --> 00:24:39,596 "when you need refuge from your refuge?" 459 00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:41,848 (INSECTS BUZZ) 460 00:24:49,773 --> 00:24:52,125 I'll try to get to Stafford and sort out the uniform thing. 461 00:24:52,175 --> 00:24:53,646 - Alright? - Yeah, and the chemical toilet. 462 00:24:53,696 --> 00:24:55,407 - Don't forget that. - Yep. 463 00:24:55,457 --> 00:24:57,569 My life has come to the point where a chemical toilet 464 00:24:57,619 --> 00:24:59,490 is a step in the right direction. 465 00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,732 It'll be like having a science experiment in our own bathroom. 466 00:25:01,782 --> 00:25:03,503 Oh, joy. 467 00:25:04,744 --> 00:25:07,135 (MOUTHS) 468 00:25:07,185 --> 00:25:09,457 Today's the day, my ugly blister. 469 00:25:09,507 --> 00:25:13,540 - What? - It's decision day. D-day. 470 00:25:13,590 --> 00:25:16,102 Making sense would be kinda good about now. 471 00:25:16,152 --> 00:25:19,784 Time to get primal on it. Do we fight or do we flee? 472 00:25:19,834 --> 00:25:21,916 You hear me? 473 00:25:23,197 --> 00:25:24,678 I hear you. 474 00:25:26,799 --> 00:25:28,941 But first, actual plumbing. 475 00:25:33,004 --> 00:25:34,755 - Yes and no. - Sorry? 476 00:25:34,805 --> 00:25:36,996 Yes and no. 477 00:25:37,046 --> 00:25:39,358 No, the question was "Do you sell chemical toilets?" 478 00:25:39,408 --> 00:25:41,760 Surely that's either a yes or no. 479 00:25:41,810 --> 00:25:44,161 Yes, we sell the chemicals. 480 00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:46,123 No, we're out of the actual toilets. 481 00:25:46,173 --> 00:25:49,875 - You could try over in... - In Stafford. Yeah, I get it. 482 00:25:50,136 --> 00:25:52,077 Oh, you're kidding me. 483 00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:57,771 - How often does this come out? - Varies. Sometimes weeks go by. 484 00:25:57,821 --> 00:26:00,333 - Two issues in two days? - Yep. 485 00:26:00,383 --> 00:26:02,975 Nothing like a scandal to get the people going, eh? 486 00:26:03,025 --> 00:26:06,107 - (SIGHS) - (WOMAN LAUGHS) 487 00:26:07,268 --> 00:26:09,339 Well, I'm thrilled you find it amusing. 488 00:26:09,389 --> 00:26:11,340 Oh, go you and your scathing words. 489 00:26:11,390 --> 00:26:13,302 Man, people are sensitive here. 490 00:26:13,352 --> 00:26:16,544 Hey, you chose to move to the Land of the Thin White Skin. 491 00:26:16,594 --> 00:26:18,465 That is undeniably true. 492 00:26:18,515 --> 00:26:20,467 Well, if it helps, everyone here loves the fact 493 00:26:20,517 --> 00:26:22,628 you're back writing again, even the ones who think you're insane 494 00:26:22,678 --> 00:26:24,349 for moving to New Zealand. 495 00:26:24,399 --> 00:26:26,151 Have you read the comments? 496 00:26:26,201 --> 00:26:28,833 Uh, I'm living my own set of comments here. 497 00:26:28,883 --> 00:26:32,195 Well, over here, they're generally favourable. 498 00:26:32,245 --> 00:26:33,876 - Well, that really cheers me up. - So... 499 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:36,158 Have you formulated a plan 500 00:26:36,208 --> 00:26:38,559 to get the populace back onside? 501 00:26:38,609 --> 00:26:40,841 According to the local bigwig, all I have to do is 502 00:26:40,891 --> 00:26:43,283 write something nice, everything will magically get better. 503 00:26:43,333 --> 00:26:45,124 So write something nice. 504 00:26:45,174 --> 00:26:47,005 I don't like getting told what to write, Jan. 505 00:26:47,055 --> 00:26:49,047 Oh, and this is that point in the conversation 506 00:26:49,097 --> 00:26:51,488 where I remind you that you have a deadline tomorrow. 507 00:26:51,538 --> 00:26:53,890 I'm sorry. I didn't... didn't hear that. 508 00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:57,343 Yeah, the reception's not very good here. No-one knows why. 509 00:27:12,073 --> 00:27:13,344 (SIGHS) 510 00:27:14,394 --> 00:27:16,916 (BELL RINGS) 511 00:27:34,569 --> 00:27:36,050 Can I help? 512 00:27:37,851 --> 00:27:39,922 Yeah, I'm just wondering how my application 513 00:27:39,972 --> 00:27:43,575 for retroactive certification of an illegal septic tank is going. 514 00:27:44,576 --> 00:27:46,497 It's being processed. 515 00:27:48,138 --> 00:27:50,280 Isn't that it right there? 516 00:27:53,102 --> 00:27:56,344 - That's part of the process. - Right. 517 00:28:01,187 --> 00:28:02,658 What is it with you people? 518 00:28:02,708 --> 00:28:05,820 'Dead-end' is not the end of the world. 519 00:28:05,870 --> 00:28:10,183 'Dead-end' is charming, out-of-the-way, peaceful. 520 00:28:10,234 --> 00:28:13,826 It's not the most heinous insult ever. Not even close. 521 00:28:13,876 --> 00:28:15,747 And... and what about all the other words, 522 00:28:15,797 --> 00:28:18,309 which I spent being nice about Weld? 523 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,311 Do they not matter a damn compared to the two words 524 00:28:21,361 --> 00:28:23,553 which, when taken out of context, 525 00:28:23,603 --> 00:28:25,554 make it sound like I'm not happy here? 526 00:28:25,604 --> 00:28:29,037 I love Weld! I want to live here for the rest of my life! 527 00:28:29,087 --> 00:28:32,049 But I cannot do that without a toilet! 528 00:28:34,490 --> 00:28:36,922 It's in the pile, being processed. 529 00:28:36,972 --> 00:28:38,773 I can see that. 530 00:28:50,422 --> 00:28:54,615 BILLY: And so you can see, from our unusual rock formations, 531 00:28:54,665 --> 00:28:59,258 our weird phone coverage and the humming sound the ground makes, 532 00:28:59,308 --> 00:29:03,301 that the history of Weld is as much shaped 533 00:29:03,351 --> 00:29:06,863 by the giant alien spaceship buried under the site 534 00:29:06,913 --> 00:29:09,225 of the proposed old folks village 535 00:29:09,275 --> 00:29:11,827 as it was by colonialism. 536 00:29:11,877 --> 00:29:14,518 Thank you for listening to my speech. 537 00:29:15,799 --> 00:29:20,032 Thank you, Billy, for that very... thought-provoking speech. 538 00:29:20,082 --> 00:29:23,315 Quite an interesting one to end on, I think. 539 00:29:23,365 --> 00:29:26,157 - Yes, Arlo? - What about my speech? 540 00:29:26,207 --> 00:29:29,439 You don't have to do a speech. You've only been in Weld a week. 541 00:29:29,489 --> 00:29:32,041 Yeah, but you can learn a lot about a place in a week. 542 00:29:32,091 --> 00:29:33,802 That is true. And you've written one? 543 00:29:33,852 --> 00:29:37,014 - Yep. - Bring it on. 544 00:29:41,617 --> 00:29:43,729 - Your dad write it for you? - Jared! 545 00:29:43,779 --> 00:29:46,181 (LAUGHTER) 546 00:29:48,022 --> 00:29:50,293 Sometimes it takes an outsider 547 00:29:50,344 --> 00:29:52,575 to see things the way they really are, 548 00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:55,377 to be the fresh eyes that can tell the truth. 549 00:29:55,427 --> 00:29:57,659 And I know I haven't been here long, 550 00:29:57,709 --> 00:30:00,701 but what I have seen in this short time 551 00:30:00,751 --> 00:30:03,423 has confirmed everything I learned through my research 552 00:30:03,473 --> 00:30:07,225 into the history of Weld -- namely, that it's a story 553 00:30:07,275 --> 00:30:11,348 of religious extremism, uh, cannibalism and racism, 554 00:30:11,398 --> 00:30:16,962 bestiality and why inbreeding is a really bad idea. 555 00:30:24,407 --> 00:30:27,520 LINDSAY: Hey, Aussie! There's something we don't understand. 556 00:30:27,570 --> 00:30:29,601 Really? That's surprising. 557 00:30:29,651 --> 00:30:33,123 What gives your dad the right to slag off our town? 558 00:30:33,173 --> 00:30:36,086 - Have you read the column? - No. Why would I? 559 00:30:36,136 --> 00:30:38,127 Because then you might have some idea 560 00:30:38,177 --> 00:30:39,888 what you're actually talking about. 561 00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:41,970 I read the newspaper headline. 562 00:30:42,020 --> 00:30:44,972 Yeah, I'm sure that was more than enough for you to process. 563 00:30:45,022 --> 00:30:47,093 Are you saying I'm dumb or something? 564 00:30:47,143 --> 00:30:49,455 No. Not dumb. 565 00:30:49,505 --> 00:30:51,376 Not even something. 566 00:30:51,426 --> 00:30:54,498 Because you and I, buddy, we're the same. 567 00:30:54,548 --> 00:30:58,141 - Uh, no, we're not. - Uh, yeah, we are. 568 00:30:58,191 --> 00:31:01,303 Because we both know that outside this hole 569 00:31:01,353 --> 00:31:03,265 exists a real world. 570 00:31:03,315 --> 00:31:06,467 The difference between us is that I have been there 571 00:31:06,517 --> 00:31:10,790 and you are a tragic, attention-seeking slut-bag 572 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,232 that will never go anywhere in your entire existence. 573 00:31:14,282 --> 00:31:19,116 So either step away from me and never speak to me again 574 00:31:19,166 --> 00:31:22,128 or bring it, you bitch. 575 00:31:25,690 --> 00:31:28,042 Oh. Um... We're not actually open yet, George. 576 00:31:28,092 --> 00:31:30,804 Yeah, I was nearby, and you said I knew where to find you, and... 577 00:31:30,854 --> 00:31:33,566 - I'm in. If that's still OK. - In? 578 00:31:33,616 --> 00:31:36,928 - To speak at your book club. - Great! 579 00:31:36,978 --> 00:31:38,969 What changed your mind? 580 00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:41,091 Oh, just the realisation that I do need to start 581 00:31:41,141 --> 00:31:43,933 changing people's minds, four minds at a time, if necessary. 582 00:31:43,983 --> 00:31:47,936 Well, you picked a good place to start. My place, at 8:00. 583 00:31:47,986 --> 00:31:49,817 Um, it's traditional to bring a bottle. 584 00:31:49,867 --> 00:31:51,298 - (PHONE RINGS) - Sure I can manage that. 585 00:31:51,348 --> 00:31:53,540 Excuse me. I'll see you there. 586 00:31:53,590 --> 00:31:55,941 - Hello? - TRACEY: Mr Turner, hi. 587 00:31:55,991 --> 00:31:57,743 It's Tracey Dennis here, from the school. 588 00:31:57,793 --> 00:31:59,664 Hi. What can I do for you? 589 00:31:59,714 --> 00:32:02,411 Are you able to come to the school now? 590 00:32:02,450 --> 00:32:03,499 - Now? - Yes. 591 00:32:03,538 --> 00:32:06,822 I'm afraid we have something of a situation. 592 00:32:12,475 --> 00:32:15,011 George! Thank you for coming in. 593 00:32:15,067 --> 00:32:17,390 - Where are they? - This way. 594 00:32:23,159 --> 00:32:27,315 OK, starting alphabetically. Arlo. We were doing speeches. 595 00:32:27,365 --> 00:32:29,357 And in his, he chose to take a... 596 00:32:29,407 --> 00:32:33,694 .. well, a rather revisionist approach to the history of Weld. 597 00:32:35,016 --> 00:32:39,091 And so, eventually, the small group of religious nut cases 598 00:32:39,141 --> 00:32:41,254 were forced to leave Nova Scotia 599 00:32:41,304 --> 00:32:44,860 after one of their number were accused of foul play 600 00:32:44,910 --> 00:32:48,104 involving some of the local livestock. 601 00:32:48,154 --> 00:32:51,870 After many months at sea, the surviving members of the party, 602 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,635 now only consisting of one family, the McNamaras, 603 00:32:55,685 --> 00:32:58,920 made landfall, by being shipwrecked, 604 00:32:58,970 --> 00:33:02,084 on the coastline of what we now know as Weld. 605 00:33:02,134 --> 00:33:04,848 And how did the new arrivals repay the local Maoris 606 00:33:04,898 --> 00:33:07,903 who pulled them from the waters of Parata Bay? 607 00:33:08,583 --> 00:33:10,937 By bringing them disease, which wiped out 608 00:33:10,987 --> 00:33:13,420 much of their population, making it easier 609 00:33:13,470 --> 00:33:15,664 for the McNamaras to steal all of their land... 610 00:33:15,714 --> 00:33:17,707 That's my family he's talking about! 611 00:33:17,757 --> 00:33:19,830 But it's not like the McNamaras actually cared. 612 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,553 They were far too busy keeping to themselves. 613 00:33:22,604 --> 00:33:25,558 - If you know what I mean. - Go, Arlo! Tell it like it was! 614 00:33:25,608 --> 00:33:27,561 Which is the only possible explanation 615 00:33:27,611 --> 00:33:29,884 as to why Jared McNamara here is the way he is today. 616 00:33:29,934 --> 00:33:33,209 - Thank you for listening. - TRACEY: Jared, sit down! 617 00:33:33,259 --> 00:33:36,453 I'm sorry. This... this has never happened before. 618 00:33:36,503 --> 00:33:38,777 Meanwhile, in the art room... 619 00:33:38,827 --> 00:33:40,900 What did you just say? 620 00:33:40,950 --> 00:33:43,894 Let me put it in a way you might understand. 621 00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:51,685 Get out of my face and stop talking shit about my family. 622 00:33:54,930 --> 00:33:56,522 - Go, Lindsay. - Go, Lindsay! 623 00:33:56,572 --> 00:33:59,496 (GIRLS SQUEAL) 624 00:34:00,778 --> 00:34:02,651 Um, I'm sorry again, 625 00:34:02,701 --> 00:34:05,775 and, again, this has never happened before. 626 00:34:05,825 --> 00:34:08,980 Obviously, it happening again is what we're worried about. 627 00:34:09,030 --> 00:34:10,903 So all parties involved will be stood down for today 628 00:34:10,953 --> 00:34:14,347 until we decide what further actions need to be taken. 629 00:34:14,398 --> 00:34:16,030 Of course. 630 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:17,752 What the hell were you two thinking? 631 00:34:17,802 --> 00:34:19,475 I don't know about her. 632 00:34:19,525 --> 00:34:21,718 I was sick of people picking on you for no reason. 633 00:34:21,768 --> 00:34:24,772 Mainly, I just wanted her to stop being a cow. 634 00:34:25,614 --> 00:34:29,930 - We will talk about this again. - Oh, you bet we will. 635 00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:31,732 -And, again, I, uh... 636 00:34:31,782 --> 00:34:34,056 - I apologise. - That's OK. 637 00:34:34,106 --> 00:34:36,089 - Thank you. - It's OK. 638 00:34:36,139 --> 00:34:38,091 I'll see you tonight. 639 00:34:38,141 --> 00:34:40,134 Sorry? 640 00:34:40,184 --> 00:34:42,948 - Book club. - Oh, right. Yeah. 641 00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:45,602 Yeah, I'll, uh, see you there. 642 00:34:47,325 --> 00:34:49,277 No, Jared, that's enough. You're a bloody idiot! 643 00:34:49,327 --> 00:34:51,400 Get in the van. No, you're going to boarding school. 644 00:34:51,450 --> 00:34:54,605 That's enough. Don't you roll your eyes at me. 645 00:34:54,655 --> 00:34:57,289 Get in there as well. You know what? You're not far behind him. 646 00:34:57,339 --> 00:34:59,162 Get in there. 647 00:34:59,212 --> 00:35:01,014 Looks like we're gonna need a new plumber. 648 00:35:01,064 --> 00:35:04,469 You would do very well not to say anything right now. 649 00:35:11,229 --> 00:35:13,512 I sincerely hope this wasn't part of a plan. 650 00:35:13,562 --> 00:35:15,435 That get kicked out of school 651 00:35:15,485 --> 00:35:17,117 equals we somehow end up back in Sydney. 652 00:35:17,167 --> 00:35:18,639 Because that's not gonna happen. 653 00:35:18,689 --> 00:35:20,362 No. But good idea, though. 654 00:35:20,412 --> 00:35:22,004 Don't even joke about it. 655 00:35:22,054 --> 00:35:23,807 Seriously, Dad, it was fight or flee. 656 00:35:23,857 --> 00:35:26,010 And we fought, and I'm not sorry we did. 657 00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:28,203 We told you. We did it for you. 658 00:35:28,253 --> 00:35:30,657 Even though you saying it's a dead-end was the first time 659 00:35:30,707 --> 00:35:32,579 you've actually got something right about this place. 660 00:35:32,629 --> 00:35:34,732 No, I was wrong, but not as wrong as you. 661 00:35:34,782 --> 00:35:37,106 I just want these people to accept us. 662 00:35:37,156 --> 00:35:39,309 - Why? - Because we have to live here. 663 00:35:39,359 --> 00:35:42,073 No, I mean, why do you want them to accept us? 664 00:35:42,123 --> 00:35:44,797 If they can't accept us for who we are, then screw them. 665 00:35:44,847 --> 00:35:47,531 That was magnificent. 666 00:35:49,213 --> 00:35:52,127 The sunset over Parata Bay. Not just that. 667 00:35:52,177 --> 00:35:55,692 See the mood hasn't improved in here while I was out. 668 00:35:55,742 --> 00:35:58,496 You know what might help that? An actual functioning kitchen. 669 00:35:58,546 --> 00:36:00,499 Yeah, top of my priority list. 670 00:36:00,549 --> 00:36:02,212 What about an actual functioning toilet? 671 00:36:02,262 --> 00:36:03,904 - Yeah, I built you a perfect... - Indoors. 672 00:36:03,954 --> 00:36:06,508 That's more your dad's priority list. 673 00:36:06,558 --> 00:36:09,662 - And I'm getting onto that. - How? - (KNOCKING) 674 00:36:10,203 --> 00:36:12,677 - Fiona. - George. 675 00:36:12,727 --> 00:36:14,439 I was just on my way to your house. 676 00:36:14,489 --> 00:36:17,043 Oh, no need. Woody! Why aren't you answering your phone? 677 00:36:17,093 --> 00:36:19,927 What? No-one's rung. Oh, no. 678 00:36:19,977 --> 00:36:22,240 - What, you're in the book club? - Why does that surprise you? 679 00:36:22,290 --> 00:36:24,133 Your guest appearance has made my little book club 680 00:36:24,183 --> 00:36:25,615 the hottest ticket in town. 681 00:36:25,665 --> 00:36:27,768 No way am I having all that mob at my house. 682 00:36:27,818 --> 00:36:29,250 - Mob? - Everyone that wants to come. 683 00:36:29,300 --> 00:36:31,143 That's why we've changed the venue. 684 00:36:31,193 --> 00:36:33,757 - To where? - Town hall. 685 00:36:36,871 --> 00:36:39,555 See, that's the one there, but if you just chuck it down there. 686 00:36:39,605 --> 00:36:42,599 Great. Nice work there, Liz. Looking good. 687 00:36:42,649 --> 00:36:46,044 Last book club, there were four of us. 688 00:36:46,094 --> 00:36:47,647 - And then word spread. - See? 689 00:36:47,697 --> 00:36:49,279 You're getting the hang of this place. 690 00:36:49,329 --> 00:36:52,844 - I can't do this. - Well, I know what you mean. 691 00:36:52,894 --> 00:36:55,137 I hate crowds too. But I find wine helps. 692 00:36:55,187 --> 00:36:57,140 No, it's what you said about them being a mob. 693 00:36:57,190 --> 00:37:00,104 - They want to lynch me. - They don't. Not all of them. 694 00:37:00,154 --> 00:37:02,508 Some of them actually want to hear your side of the story. 695 00:37:02,558 --> 00:37:05,152 - And then lynch me. - That will depend on the story. 696 00:37:05,202 --> 00:37:08,236 - I have no story. - Course you do. 697 00:37:08,286 --> 00:37:10,519 - No, I don't. - Everyone's got a story, George. 698 00:37:10,569 --> 00:37:13,313 The key is all in the telling. Drink up. 699 00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:17,129 - Why are my kids here? - I asked Woody to bring them. 700 00:37:17,179 --> 00:37:20,984 So that they could witness their father's triumphant moment. 701 00:37:26,422 --> 00:37:27,904 Oh. 702 00:37:30,388 --> 00:37:32,431 That's the spirit. 703 00:37:34,203 --> 00:37:36,276 I'll give you a bit of an intro. 704 00:37:36,326 --> 00:37:39,130 Um... Thank you, Hannah. Let's just... 705 00:37:41,614 --> 00:37:43,086 Good evening, everyone. 706 00:37:43,136 --> 00:37:45,850 What a great turnout for tonight's meeting 707 00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:47,923 of the Weld Book Club. 708 00:37:47,973 --> 00:37:51,017 We'll just get straight to tonight's star attraction. 709 00:37:51,067 --> 00:37:54,182 The fact that we have an actual living author with us. 710 00:37:54,232 --> 00:37:57,917 Please welcome Mr George Turner. 711 00:37:59,559 --> 00:38:01,232 (CAMERA CLICKS) 712 00:38:02,243 --> 00:38:05,278 - You're the dead-end, Turner! - Bill McNamara! 713 00:38:05,328 --> 00:38:07,240 There is no heckling at book club! 714 00:38:07,290 --> 00:38:09,093 BILL: Sorry, Fiona. 715 00:38:14,260 --> 00:38:18,256 George. Firstly, welcome to book club. 716 00:38:18,306 --> 00:38:20,539 And welcome to Weld. 717 00:38:20,589 --> 00:38:22,112 Thank you. 718 00:38:23,463 --> 00:38:27,169 Do you want to tell us a bit about what brought you here? 719 00:38:27,469 --> 00:38:30,033 Don't people want to have a go at me for what I wrote? 720 00:38:30,083 --> 00:38:32,466 Well, I'm sure we'll get to that, but... 721 00:38:32,516 --> 00:38:34,639 First, why don't you tell everyone 722 00:38:34,690 --> 00:38:37,433 the story of... of why you're here? 723 00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:41,409 OK. Well, uh... It all started a few months ago. 724 00:38:41,459 --> 00:38:45,225 Almost seven months ago. When, um... 725 00:38:46,466 --> 00:38:49,260 Uh, no, no, it, uh, started when I was a kid, 726 00:38:49,310 --> 00:38:54,067 and we used to have our summer holidays here, in Weld, and, uh, 727 00:38:54,117 --> 00:38:56,270 I guess this place has always lived in my mind 728 00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,273 since those days, and so recently, 729 00:38:58,323 --> 00:39:00,677 when I was trying to figure out how I was gonna... 730 00:39:00,727 --> 00:39:04,442 .. bring up a couple of teenage kids on my own, 731 00:39:04,492 --> 00:39:07,927 I... I thought of Weld, and Parata Bay, and... 732 00:39:07,977 --> 00:39:11,172 .. and thought if there was anywhere in the world 733 00:39:11,222 --> 00:39:14,697 where I could do that, it would be here. 734 00:39:14,747 --> 00:39:15,989 Why? 735 00:39:17,511 --> 00:39:19,984 - Sorry? - Why did you think of Weld? 736 00:39:20,034 --> 00:39:22,187 Because we used to holiday here when I was a kid. 737 00:39:22,237 --> 00:39:24,310 I mean, why, recently, did you think of Weld? 738 00:39:24,361 --> 00:39:26,163 What drew you here? 739 00:39:33,654 --> 00:39:35,647 It was... It was when my... 740 00:39:35,697 --> 00:39:38,260 It was when my wife died. 741 00:39:49,436 --> 00:39:53,062 FIONA: That's when you thought about coming here? 742 00:39:53,112 --> 00:39:54,844 Yep. 743 00:39:56,086 --> 00:40:00,242 FIONA: So death looms large in your life, then? 744 00:40:00,292 --> 00:40:02,325 Recently? 745 00:40:02,375 --> 00:40:03,977 Yeah, it does. 746 00:40:06,781 --> 00:40:08,854 Yeah. 747 00:40:08,904 --> 00:40:11,137 Yeah, it does. 748 00:40:12,509 --> 00:40:14,502 So I suppose when I... when I wrote 749 00:40:14,552 --> 00:40:17,547 that Weld was a 'dead-end', what I was actually trying to say 750 00:40:17,597 --> 00:40:19,279 was that... 751 00:40:20,561 --> 00:40:22,193 .. Weld... 752 00:40:22,243 --> 00:40:25,969 .. was a new beginning after death. 753 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,074 - Does that sound right? - Sounds perfect. 754 00:40:30,976 --> 00:40:32,969 You just didn't word the column very well, did you? 755 00:40:33,019 --> 00:40:35,642 No, I did not. No, and I'm... I'm very sorry about that. 756 00:40:35,692 --> 00:40:37,976 FIONA: Well, good to finally sort that out. 757 00:40:38,026 --> 00:40:39,818 And I presume that... that it is sorted out. 758 00:40:39,868 --> 00:40:43,303 Unless someone else has something that they want to say? 759 00:40:43,353 --> 00:40:45,547 No? Good. 760 00:40:45,597 --> 00:40:47,790 Now, this is the part of the evening where we usually 761 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,554 stop talking about books and start drinking, so... 762 00:40:50,604 --> 00:40:54,610 Who has brought their bottle of wine, per book club etiquette? 763 00:40:55,411 --> 00:40:57,353 FIONA: Course you did. 764 00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:05,014 - Thank you for that. - For what? 765 00:41:05,064 --> 00:41:07,498 For healing things so adroitly. 766 00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:10,669 Oh, you... you think you're off the hook, do ya? 767 00:41:10,715 --> 00:41:12,744 (LAUGHS) 768 00:41:15,883 --> 00:41:19,514 "Sometimes refuge isn't actually a place. 769 00:41:19,559 --> 00:41:25,424 "Instead, it can be a state of mind, 770 00:41:25,474 --> 00:41:29,770 "where the world suddenly seems much kinder, 771 00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:32,577 "a lot more welcoming." 772 00:41:32,627 --> 00:41:34,805 I'm sorry to hear about your wife. 773 00:41:34,855 --> 00:41:36,454 Well, thank you. 774 00:41:36,503 --> 00:41:39,091 And if you ever need ideas for your columns, just come to me. 775 00:41:39,141 --> 00:41:40,969 - I've always got ideas. - OK. 776 00:41:41,019 --> 00:41:42,448 Have you ever thought about writing about 777 00:41:42,498 --> 00:41:44,087 why there are so many ads on TV? 778 00:41:44,136 --> 00:41:45,685 Or dogs. People love stories about dogs. 779 00:41:45,735 --> 00:41:47,683 No, no-one wants to hear about your dog, Sean. 780 00:41:47,733 --> 00:41:49,162 Just 'cause you're a cat person. 781 00:41:49,212 --> 00:41:50,750 There's a reason cat videos outweigh dog videos 782 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,918 on the internet 8-to-1, Sean. 783 00:41:52,968 --> 00:41:55,156 - Now you're just making that up. - Even so. 784 00:41:55,206 --> 00:41:58,673 By the way, your consent will be granted within 10 working days. 785 00:41:58,723 --> 00:41:59,672 George! 786 00:41:59,722 --> 00:42:02,829 - (CAMERA CLICKS) - Corker. 787 00:42:02,879 --> 00:42:05,027 I'm really sorry about my boy clocking your boy. 788 00:42:05,077 --> 00:42:07,425 - He's off to boarding school. - Oh, you don't have to do that. 789 00:42:07,475 --> 00:42:09,463 No, I do. He's an annoying little shit. 790 00:42:09,513 --> 00:42:11,901 I'll come round tomorrow and I'll clean up your tank as well. 791 00:42:11,951 --> 00:42:14,209 Oh, Sean said the paperwork wouldn't be ready for 10 days. 792 00:42:14,259 --> 00:42:15,698 Forget about the paperwork, mate. 793 00:42:15,747 --> 00:42:17,456 Nobody worries about paperwork here. 794 00:42:17,506 --> 00:42:19,614 George. One more. 795 00:42:19,664 --> 00:42:22,012 You moved me, George, 796 00:42:22,062 --> 00:42:23,800 sitting up there. 797 00:42:25,219 --> 00:42:27,447 Reminded me of when Norma passed away. 798 00:42:27,497 --> 00:42:30,194 We share a bond, you and me. 799 00:42:30,244 --> 00:42:31,753 Yeah, I guess. 800 00:42:31,803 --> 00:42:34,600 Upbeat stories, that's what we need. 801 00:42:34,650 --> 00:42:38,527 - Shine a good light on us all. - Couldn't agree more. 802 00:42:39,686 --> 00:42:43,162 You and me, we could be real good mates. 803 00:42:44,961 --> 00:42:46,869 Or great enemies, George. 804 00:42:46,919 --> 00:42:48,867 Hey? 805 00:42:48,917 --> 00:42:51,065 Only time will tell... 806 00:42:51,115 --> 00:42:53,023 .. Big Mac. 807 00:42:53,073 --> 00:42:54,732 (LAUGHS) 808 00:42:54,782 --> 00:42:56,590 Me again. 809 00:42:59,737 --> 00:43:01,975 I heard you dealt to Lindsay McNamara. 810 00:43:02,025 --> 00:43:05,612 We, uh, had artistic differences. 811 00:43:05,662 --> 00:43:07,090 Oh. 812 00:43:07,140 --> 00:43:08,899 Choice. 813 00:43:12,136 --> 00:43:14,154 You should be very proud of your dad. 814 00:43:14,204 --> 00:43:18,120 - I am, most of the time. - What he's done is very brave. 815 00:43:18,170 --> 00:43:21,637 Yeah. Good on him, eh, you know, trying something new. 816 00:43:21,687 --> 00:43:23,705 I suppose... 817 00:43:23,755 --> 00:43:27,352 I'm sure you'll settle in fine if you just give it time. 818 00:43:30,679 --> 00:43:32,907 Seriously, there's no-one at the paper who can actually write, 819 00:43:32,957 --> 00:43:35,544 and I know this because I'm the one who does all the writing. 820 00:43:35,594 --> 00:43:38,462 - Well, I'll think about it. - OK. Can't pay ya, but still. 821 00:43:38,512 --> 00:43:41,539 - Well, I will think about it. - So how did your wife die? 822 00:43:41,589 --> 00:43:44,017 Siouxsie! You don't ask questions like that. 823 00:43:44,066 --> 00:43:48,333 Why not? It's what everyone else is thinking, isn't it? 824 00:43:48,383 --> 00:43:50,860 SIOUXSIE: So how did she die? 825 00:43:52,259 --> 00:43:55,086 How my wife died is no-one's business except ours. 826 00:43:55,136 --> 00:43:57,214 Excuse me. 827 00:43:58,413 --> 00:44:03,129 "At the end of the day, while no refuge is perfect... 828 00:44:07,485 --> 00:44:13,519 .."there are still worse places to take in the view." 829 00:44:13,569 --> 00:44:18,119 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 65028

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