All language subtitles for c_a_u_g_h_t.s01e04.1080p.web.h264-lazycunts

Mom, dad, I can
feel your anxiety.

This just speeds
things up for me, okay?

I can't just be a genius...

at the Apple store forever.

Edmund already has his
second investment property.

All my mates are
doing really well.

Yeah?

You've seen the ads.
"Are you in the army?"

I get a certificate of...

career engineer...
something really impressive.

- It's a big step up.
- Hmm.

Look, I'm not going
to see any action.

It's not going to be dangerous.

If you are going to do this,

there is something
you must know.

Something I'm not sure you...

if you have ever realised.

I'm not your real mother.

What?

We adopted you, Philip.

Okay, ha! Okay!

A birthday prank?

Ha! That is classic Dad.

Did Bo, Chan and Edmund
put you up to this?

What, are they here?

- No...
- Hello?

No, it's true, Philip.

This is not a birthday prank.

It is not "classic."

Your father and I
couldn't get pregnant,

so we investigated alternatives.

We just always assumed you knew.

Knew? Knew what?

- I know it's difficult, Philip.
- No, no, no, this can't be happening.

I am your son!

You have always been
our son, Philip,

and always will be.

But, no. But you're... But
you're saying that I'm not!

Mother, father, son.

These are just labels.

You don't need a label
to know who you are.

Lab... Labels?

Look, yes, I'm tall,

and you're both not as... tall.

And you both have darker hair.

And mine's a little
more strawberry blonde.

But we have the same features.

Don't we?

I just, I guess I... I figured
I was more of a throwback...

you know, like a recessive gene.

Lots of people express
quite differently.

Philip...

You are not Asian.

Who says?

Maybe I am your son.

Maybe I am Asian.

Uh-huh.

Do you know who these
other parents are?

Hopes fade tonight

for the delicate peace
process in Behati-Prinsloo.

French satellites are detecting
massive explosions in the region,

and it's believed intense fighting
has broken out all over the island.

Both the western-backed Royal
family and the Separatist rebels

are saying fighting is reserved
to small areas of the island,

and both are adamant they have
not betrayed the peace accord.

But with heavy artillery
fire reported on the ground,

it's hard to know whether
the bombs themselves

or the misinformation
spread by both sides

is the greater threat to peace.

- Is he breathing?
- I can't tell!

Mamalo, who's firing
at us? Your government?

Too much firepower for
the Behati government.

They're Buddhist.

- Well, so is Phil.
- I'm not Buddhist!

- Thought you were.
- Yeah.

Oh, look, I borrow from
Tibetan Buddhism, sure,

but to say I'm Buddhist?

No, no. The philosophical
concepts that I'm grappling with,

are from a much broader palette.

That sounds pretty
Buddhist to me, Phil.

Suck my ass, Rowdy.

Oh, don't let Buddha
hear you say that.

I'm not Buddhist, I said.

My mind is open to many
different possibilities.

Was it open to the idea
that you might be Buddhist?

I think it is the
island pirates.

What,
"pirates"? Are you serious?

They're all over the island.

Whoever they are, they're
packing serious heat.

Whoa!

This is your military.

They've come to get you.

We're finished.

Mamalo, help us.

They're going to
kill me and Mamalo.

I won't let that happen.

This isn't a "White Saviour"
Australian story, Philip.

Huh? There's no happy ending.

You're right, Shammi.

This isn't a white
Australian story.

It's an Asian-Australian story.

It's our story.

Don't shoot.

Don't shoot. Don't shoot.

I'm Australian.

Now, I don't
know what you've been told,

or what you think you know
about these beautiful people,

but put yourselves
in their position.

Is it
not a noble aspiration

to take up arms in
the face of tyranny

and rise...

Down. Down, down, down.

Ow, ow, ow! My balls!

Oh, shit. I think
my dick's gone.

You check his dick. I'll
get the medical kit.

I'll check his dick,
you get the medical kit?

I'm closer.

- All hell's breaking loose!
- How many of them are there?

I think it's The Dingo.

There's no such
thing as The Dingo.

Didn't you see Danger
Close? He died in Vietnam!

That was a movie! There
never was a Dingo.

No, no, there is a Dingo.

I saw this Reddit thread, and it was
like a Doctor Who, James Bond thing.

He always comes back.

Just because you read
it on the Internet

doesn't mean it's true,
you fucking idiot.

Fuck!

- Rowdy, did you find my dick?
- What happened to your dick?

It's gone rogue!

Maybe it's a classic Phil Choi?

Oh, let me guess. You read
that on Reddit too, huh?

No, I lived it.

My dick has caused me nothing
but trouble my whole life.

Oh, boo-hoo.

You'll excuse me if I don't shed a
tear for the guy with the big dick.

A big dickus comes with
a wide range of problems

you know nothing about, Rowdy?

Tell me, tell me. Is there
a stump or is it just a clean...

Rowdy, check his dick.

Do it.

Fine! Fine! Okay, fine.

- I'll check his fucking dick.
- Look at me.

Right, Albhanis,
chuck us that towel.

I said a fucking towel you...

Oh, whatever.

Hey, there he is, brother.

Your dick's fine, mate.

Oh, your balls are too!

- But your gooch is fucked.
- Gooch?

Yeah, there's a bullet
straight up your gooch.

Get it out!

What? No way!

It's right next to your asshole.

Get it out.

- Oh, for fuck's sake!
- Rowdy, please! Please!

Use the finger without the nail.

What?

Have I not been
through enough, man?

Oh, fucking fine.

Okay. Gentle, gentle.

I can't reach it.
I can't reach it.

Go deeper. Go deeper.

- Oh, it is. There it is.
- There it is.

Here it is! Here it is!

- There it is.
- There it is.

I've almost got it.

- Why don't you get it?
- It's too far up there.

You're gonna have to suck it out, bro.

- I'm not sucking it out.
- Yeah, suck it out.

No, I just had two
fingers up his ass.

Two? You fucking animal!

- Suck it out, bro.
- I'm not sucking it out.

Rowdy. Rowdy.

Your scene partner needs you.

I believe in you, man.

Brother...

I need this.

Okay.

Fuck!

Rowdy?

Rowdy? Rowdy!

It's... Ah!

Ah! Ah! Oh God!

Shammi!

What's wrong? Are you okay?

Shammi, what did
you see out there?

And then she said,

"You're the only one I've
ever done that with."

And you know what?

I think she meant it.

Actually, you don't have
to write that bit down,

the bit about me
thinking she meant it.

People would just
take that as a given.

What chapter does
that take us up to?

Uh, still chapter one, sir.

Mm. Fantastic.

I thought this Dingo was
supposed to be quiet.

You ever try one of these?
Zero resistance. Fantastic.

- You can jump on after me if you like.
- No, no! I'm fine.

- Thank you.
- Another walker.

The nerds at the NSA are
blowing up my phone line,

telling me that their heat
map in Behati is on fire.

A momentary blip.

Trust me, it's
all taken care of.

- You sure about that?
- I promise.

You won't be hearing any
more about Behati-Prinsloo.

Now let me tell you about
that time in Buenos Aires.

I think he's gone.

There you go. That's
gonna hold, big fella.

Just take it easy
for a few days, eh?

No horse riding.

Who teach you how to sew
so good people's ass?

All Saints.

Yeah, the table read.

Oh, you weren't... I was
playing a background nurse.

And so I, um, shadowed my cousin's
auntie for about six weeks

at Royal St. John's.

I reckon it's that American?

That Steven Seagal motherfucker.

No, it's The Dingo.

I can feel it in my gut.

You don't have a gut, Albhanis.

You have eight pecs.

Thank you, Rowdy.

Georgie Parker said to me,

- "Young man, you have got it."
- Shut up, Albhanis.

Don't silence me, okay?

- This is the problem with society, Rowdy.
- And... Ah!

We've forgotten how
to gracefully play with ideas.

Shut up.

That's Josie.

Shit...

Prime time.

We are answering that call.

Fuck yeah, you are.

Allez! Allez!

It's alright, Phil.

Answer it.

Answer the fucking
thing. Come on.

- Hello?
- Yes! Josie!

Josie, yes! We're
here. Can you hear us?

Yeah, I can... I can hear you.
What is going on? Are you okay?

Josie, we are under attack.
Bustard has been shot.

We are in deep shit.

Okay, I'm going to
start recording.

- Josie, are we going to go live?
- Yes, we're live.

Come on. Tell me who
is firing at you?

I think it's The Dingo.

What? Hello, boys?

Josie, listen, I need you
to do something for me.

I need you to look up my
daughter's GoFundMe page.

I need you to share
that page, okay?

Maybe... Maybe you
could run a link for it

down the bottom of
the page like a...

- On the chyron. The chyron.
- On the chyron!

Look! I told you clowns.

What? What are... Sorry, guys.

Say it loud. What
are you seeing?

- It's The Dingo.
- It's The Dingo.

- Josie, it's The Dingo.
- What?

- He's an Australian mercenary, Josie.
- He's like the Terminator.

The Terminator?

Yes, the Terminator.

Or like a, a... Keyser Söze.

Keyser Söze... with
the flames in the hair.

Yeah, The Flashback.
Like in The Flashback.

He shot Phil in the dick.

I like the sound of this Dingo.

Mum.

- How did it go?
- Oh, my God!

Fuck you, Jem. I'm
taking the bus home.

What's up your ass?

Is my life some
hilarious game to you?

After all the "Fuck you, Ranger
Mindy" shit that I've had to take.

And now you want me to get
involved in this garbage?

What garbage?

The Dingo? Really?

The Australian Terminator?

Journalists are ruining
their entire careers

with this conspiracy
theory shit, Jem.

I'm not Alan Jones. I don't
want some job at Fox News.

If I tell you this...

No, no, no. I can't.

- I can't with these games anymore.
- It's not a game.

Those four boys are going to die
if you don't shine a light on this.

You pinky swear to me
that this is 100% legit.

Okay, but I can't be
the lone voice on this.

Trust me.

You won't be.

In 1945,
ASIO began a recruiting programme

called the Oren Protocol,

with the goal of creating
an Australian super soldier.

Sick barrel roll, Mama.

I have a plot.

Safe accommodation,

touch me, come next to me.

Wait, wait, wait! Mamalo.

Can you, um... Can you take your
phone out and record us quickly,

please, just, uh... Just
in case we don't make it.

My name is Rowdy Gaines

and this is a message
for my little girl, Indi.

Daddy's trying to
come home soon,

but if he can't,

I just want you to know
that I will always...

always be watching over you,

even when you're
a little old lady,

even older than Daddy.

You are the strongest and
bravest person I have ever met,

and I am so proud of you.

I love you, bubba.

Okay.

Yeah.

Speaking of the strongest
and the bravest,

I just, I want to do
a little shout out

to all the #hotsoldier fans
out there. I see you, huh...

and I love you,

and, ah... let's keep
this movement growing.

I hope someday you can
forgive me, Blinky.

I'm sorry, Blinky.

Phil Choi?

I am but a grain of sand.

Whatever happens...

happens.

I think Phil Choi has
a bit of the "PSTD".

He got shot and Rowdy had to
suck a bullet out of his ass.

For fuck's sake, it wasn't his ass.

It was a... Cut that last
bit. Shut up, Mamalo!

Give me that. Cut that last bit.

Quickly, quickly. Upload
it. Upload it. Please.

Use the AirDrop.

AirDrop it. Yes, do that.

It's gonna
take 14 minutes.

What, no.

There's no data
left on the dongle.

We watched too much Fenton.

- Ah!
- Damn it!

What... What happens to
the video if it cuts out?

I'll stay.

I'll wait for it to upload.

Thank you, brother.

- Thank you.
- Easy.

Just don't forget to cut that last
bit out about the ass-sucking.

You go, guys.

I'll only slow you down.

My gooch... just shot to shit.

It can't take any
more punishment.

You said it yourself, Cap.

It needs a good
couple of days' rest.

I can't go running through
a gauntlet of bullets.

Let me do this.

I'll meet you at
the failhouse, safe.

Just, let me...

This is your fail house,
safe house, Mamalo?

We people always come here
when there's an emergency.

That's shitting etiquette.

- We are being shot at!
- Yeah, by bullets.

We're not safe in here!
This is a tin shed.

Not here.

But in there.

Nah, fuck this.

I've squashed
dicks into my face,

I've watched a bloke
shit into a bucket,

I've sucked a bullet out
of my mate's asshole.

- It wasn't his asshole.
- You know what?

Tell my daughter I love her,
and that I tried my best,

because there is no fucking
way on God's green Earth

that I am jumping into
that gigantic pile of sh...

- Shit!
- Sorry.

Shhh!

Rowdy. Rowdy.

Sorry about the vomit.

I get nervous.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Dingo!

Oh, what's the matter?

You don't want to hit a girl?

Shammi.

Dingo!

We're on the same side.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm The Dingo.

And this is what dingoes do.

I know what it's like.

What what's like?

What it's like to be you?

What's that like to be me?

Well, only you can know that.

- Yeah, well, you just said...
- I know what I said.

Words, they're just words.

They mean nothing.

The meaning of words depends entirely
on what the words mean to you.

What the fuck are
you talking about?

Who are you?

Phil, listen to me.

This fight is not
about you versus him.

He will fight himself
and he will lose.

Look at your brothers.

You are part of a team, Philip.

A family.

That's what makes
you a lethal weapon.

Like Mel Gibson?

Early Mel Gibson.

And fight.

Get him a body bag. Yeah.

You're alright, Phil Choi!

You're alright, Phil Choi.

What was the point
of that story?

Point is...

You and I have more in
common than you realise.

I never won a karate tournament.

Oh, no. Not that bit.

Neither of us know
who we truly are.

I'm The Dingo.

Yeah, but did your
parents name you that? No.

Yeah, they did.

All my brothers, too.

Righto. Well, still just a
label someone else gave you.

Look, for a long
time, I really...

really wanted to be...

one thing.

And I've had to come
to terms with the fact

that I'm not just
that one thing.

And you...

You're more than just a...

"contract killer."

Yeah?

We're not defined by
one label, are we?

And if you're not
just "The Dingo,"

you don't have to
do what dingoes do.

But what would I do?

It could just be you.

In our true insignificance,

that's where we find
our true significance.

I used to be a dancer.

Yeah!

That's...

Alright.

Tap...

That was my thing.

That's a pretty tough thing to get into
as an old bloke, just professionally.

Mrs. Hempenstall said if I
worked hard and found rhythm,

I would make a
bloody great dancer.

Let's trust Mrs. Hempenstall.

Let's trust her.

Let's drop the labels...

- Drop them.
- And the grenades.

And let's...

just dance.

There he is.

That's Mrs. Hempenstall's pride!

She's so proud.

Drop the labels.

We're not one thing.

Shit!

Shit.

Shammi!

...racing.
Two hundred metres from...

Come on you bastard. Come on.
One of eight. One of eight.

Yeah!

Congratulations, sir.
You won the quinella.

Fucking oath! First and second.

The Dingo's trace has expired.

- Means that the target is cancelled.
- That means he's done?

It means we won't be hearing
any more of Behati-Prinsloo.

How far do you
think this track is?

You're thinking
of racing the dogs, sir?

Think I can't beat them?

I think they might be a
little too fast for you, sir.

Maybe for you.

You know the moon's only four kilometres
from the Earth as far as the crow flies.

I think it's a little
further than that, sir.

You sure nobody's
gonna care about this?

Oh, I'm very, very sure.

You got a spare
hundred on you, mate?

I... Uh... No.

Through years of repetitive
exercises and meticulous technique...

Sean, are you
sure you want to do this?

I have to do this, Mara.

It's not a choice.

But I thought
you liked Chris Cuomo.

I don't like Chris Cuomo.

I love Chris Cuomo.

You really want to
drag him into all of this?

Why don't I just book you on the
Aussie one, it'll be redemptive.

What do you mean,
"drag him into this"?

"Bad for him"?

Just get me on his show.

I'll book you
on the Aussie one.

You will have only one opportunity to
complete this mission, actress boy.

Once fragile and
susceptible to injury,

transform into sinewy
cords of steel.

- As the muscle surrounding...
- This good?

- the ankle grows stronger...
- And this?

so too does
their ability...

- This better?
- to withstand the immense

physical demands
placed upon them.

It is said that a ballerina's
ankle strength can be so remarkable

that she could break the surface
of the ocean from 15,000 feet.

Years of discipline,
countless hours of training...

Now you listen.

unwavering belief
in the power of the body.

Ballet teaches us that
anything is possible

if you dedicate
yourself wholeheartedly.

It is a constant
reminder that strength,

both physical and mental,

knows no bounds.

Want to take a sauna?

I opened up to you

and you just kick me like a dog.

- No, no, no, no!
- I'm The fucking Dingo.

Let me... Let me... No! No!

Mamalo!

Get me my new black coat...

and my hat.

♪ Wow ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ Hot Chilli Woman Makes
me weak at the knees ♪

♪ Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah ♪

♪ She makes me sweat Like
it's a hundred degrees ♪

♪ Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah ♪

♪ Hot Chilli Woman you
got what it takes ♪

♪ Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah ♪

♪ I'm so hungry I
want you on a plate ♪

♪ Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah ♪

♪ I pick you up, we
go cook in the night ♪

♪ I lay you down And
put cream on your pie ♪

♪ Your mamma won't like it ♪

♪ Daddy won't like it ♪

♪ Hot Chilli Woman
keep it hot for me ♪

♪ Hot Chilli Woman ♪