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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:11,928 Love, 2 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,016 exciting and new. 3 00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:19,936 Come aboard, 4 00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,525 we're expecting you. 5 00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,903 And Love, 6 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,491 life's sweetest reward. 7 00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:36,369 Let if flow, 8 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,249 it floats back to you. 9 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:46,504 The Love Boat. 10 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:51,259 Soon we'll be making another run. 11 00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:54,763 The Love Boat, 12 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:59,350 promises something for everyone. 13 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,478 Set a course for adventure, 14 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:07,609 your mind on a new romance. 15 00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:11,321 And Love, 16 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:15,325 won't hurt anymore. 17 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:19,162 It's an open smile, 18 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:23,500 on a friendly shore. 19 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:28,213 It's love. 20 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:33,343 Welcome aboard it's love. 21 00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:03,206 ALICIA: Shh... 22 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,165 Keep quiet, Cricket. 23 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:10,463 Remember dogs aren't allowed on the ship... 24 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,715 Cricket... 25 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:19,264 if you and I are going to enjoy this cruise together, you've got to cooperate... 26 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,223 Oooh... 27 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,224 Oooh... 28 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,559 Chest cold... 29 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:23,560 Oooh... 30 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:41,327 ISSAC: That's one for me...one for you...two for me...one for you. 31 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,581 GOPHER: Hey...he's hoggin' all the ladies. 32 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,249 ISAAC: You two fight it out between yourselves. 33 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,292 I'm not interested. 34 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:48,293 DOC: Not interested in ladies? 35 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:50,378 That's like not being interested in breathing. 36 00:02:56,885 --> 00:03:00,638 GOPHER: Still not interested?... 37 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:01,556 Oh, come on. 38 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,100 Where's the old spirit of competition? 39 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,310 DOC: The thrill of victory... 40 00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,061 ISAAC: The agony of defeat. 41 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,355 I have been burned for the last time. 42 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,735 GOPHER: Poor guy. 43 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,278 How do you mend a broken heart? 44 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,029 DOC: How would I know. 45 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,239 I'm the breaker, not the breakee. 46 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:23,661 JULIE: Hi. 47 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,495 Welcome aboard. 48 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:25,914 I'm Julie McCoy. 49 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:26,623 SUZANNA: Suzanna Wells. 50 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,081 JULIE: Hi. 51 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:27,749 SUZANNA: Hi. 52 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:30,251 Wow, what a beautiful ship. 53 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,003 JULIE: What a beautiful coat. 54 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:32,795 SUZANNA: Oh, thank you. 55 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,005 It's genuine mink. 56 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:37,842 That wasn't too cool, was it? 57 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,469 JULIE: Is this your first trip to Mexico? 58 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,262 SUZANNA: My first trip anywhere. 59 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,473 A month ago, I was a waitress in a coffee shop. 60 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,599 And now I'm rich. 61 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:47,143 My uncle left me a fortune... 62 00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:48,811 Ah, listen to me... 63 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:53,524 Here I am trying to be sophisticated and in two seconds I've told you my life story. 64 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:54,484 JULIE: Well, I don't blame you. 65 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,110 You must have been in shock. 66 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:56,694 SUZANNA: No. 67 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:57,904 In stores. 68 00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,447 I've been shopping my head off. 69 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,158 JULIE: I'd probably do that, too. 70 00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,034 SUZANNA: Yeah. 71 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,702 INT. 72 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:05,328 ALAN: Captain Stubing? 73 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:05,912 CAPTAIN: Oh, yes? 74 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:06,496 ALAN: How are you? 75 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,705 You're looking terrific. 76 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:08,998 CAPTAIN: Why...thank you... 77 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,501 You look good yourself... 78 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,836 ALAN: Alan...Alan Harmon. 79 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,380 CAPTAIN: Sure... 80 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:19,133 Well, it's nice to have you aboard, son. 81 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:22,011 How are things at the... 82 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,137 ALAN: Gas station. 83 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:26,015 I'm the mechanic that fixes your car. 84 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,643 CAPTAIN: Of course...Is it ready yet? 85 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:32,939 ALAN: Just waiting for the parts to come in... 86 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,359 Oh, excuse me. 87 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:39,862 There's the girl I'm planning to marry...Suzanna, baby... 88 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,823 Am I the last person you expected to see? 89 00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:42,699 SUZANNA: No. 90 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,201 You're the last person I wanted to see. 91 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,585 CAPTAIN: Now that's cold. 92 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,922 JULIE: Ooh, any colder and he's gonna have to borrow her mink coat. 93 00:04:59,298 --> 00:04:59,882 GOPHER: Yes, sir. 94 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,134 May I help you? 95 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,886 MASON: Yes, I was just wondering if you can direct me to... 96 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,681 Oh, excuse me, Miss...ladies first. 97 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,766 ALICIA: Oh, well, thank you. 98 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,352 It's nice to know that gallantry still exists. 99 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,187 MASON: One can but try. 100 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:14,856 ALICIA: Oh, I'm Alicia Finch. 101 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,733 GOPHER: Welcome aboard... 102 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:20,528 Okay, you and your dog are in Cabin two eighty-seven Fiesta... 103 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:20,945 Dog? 104 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,155 ALICIA: Dog? 105 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,197 What dog? 106 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,324 MASON: I believe I heard it, too. 107 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:29,412 ALICIA: Oh, you know, some people hear things all the time... 108 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,039 If you'll pardon me. 109 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:06,449 ALICIA: There now. 110 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:07,825 That's more like my little Cricket. 111 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,953 Remember vacation or not, now we've got to keep up appearances... 112 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,791 Are you hungry again? 113 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:15,958 Well, all right... 114 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,880 But you know how I feel about in-between meal snacks... 115 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,925 Mmm...it needs salt... 116 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,595 Who is it? 117 00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:28,346 MAID: Maid, ma'am. 118 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,847 Anything you need? 119 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,058 ALICIA: Ah...no...no...no thank you. 120 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,434 Oh, and... 121 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,771 listen, you can just skip this cabin for the rest of the cruise. 122 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:40,483 I brought my own linen and my own vacuum cleaner. 123 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,110 MAID: Yes, ma'am. 124 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,487 Now I've heard everything. 125 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,947 ALICIA: Do you see what Mama did for Cricket? 126 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,490 Mama told a fib. 127 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:51,536 Now Cricket you have to be extra good or Mama and Cricket could get busted. 128 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:55,373 Now you just stay here and entertain yourself, while I go out and soak up some sun. 129 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,667 And remember, not a bark out of you. 130 00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,545 And don't worry...Mama'll bring you some more newspapers. 131 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,256 And if you're good...a Margarita. 132 00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:18,229 MAN: All I want is a good solid relationship with someone who accepts me. 133 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,064 ISAAC: I know what you mean. 134 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:28,906 On this ship alone, I have been involved with a Ph.D., a rock singer, a television actress... 135 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:32,326 and on my second day... 136 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,703 Can I get you something? 137 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,746 SELENA: Just a glass of water, please. 138 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,038 ISAAC: Okay. 139 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,373 Fine. 140 00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:41,335 But at the end of the cruise, it's always the same old story... 141 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,337 Bye-bye, Isaac... 142 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,881 Bye-bye, love. 143 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:50,386 Bye-bye happiness...I feel like I could die... 144 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:56,893 Anything else? 145 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,061 SELENA: No, I... 146 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,897 Is it okay to just sit here? 147 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:05,484 ISAAC: Oh, sure. 148 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,278 MAN: What can you do about it? 149 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,405 ISAAC: I'll tell you what you do. 150 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:12,700 You don't get involved unless you're sure. 151 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,747 MAN: That makes sense. 152 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:21,083 You know, talking to you has helped me a lot. 153 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,045 I guess it's true what they say about bartenders. 154 00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:25,796 ISAAC: Thank you. 155 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,257 By the way, what do you do for a living? 156 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,218 MAN: Oh, I'm a psychiatrist. 157 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,314 SUZANNA: Thank you. 158 00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:49,445 ALAN: You just tipped the Captain. 159 00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:50,529 SUZANNA: Well, of course I tipped the Captain. 160 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,615 I mean, anyone with any class tips the Captain. 161 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,242 Don't you know anything? 162 00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,455 CAPTAIN: She gave me a five dollar tip. 163 00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,790 Can you believe that? 164 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:01,874 DOC: Wow. 165 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,668 I usually only get fifty cents for opening doors. 166 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,845 SUZANNA: Why are you following me? 167 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,472 ALAN: Well, it's very simple. 168 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:19,350 I love you. 169 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,937 SUZANNA: I wish I could believe that. 170 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,690 ALAN: We had a good thing going, Suzanna. 171 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,817 SUZANNA: Sure we did, until you backed out. 172 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,152 You were dead set against marriage. 173 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,488 ALAN: I wasn't ready. 174 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,283 SUZANNA: What makes you think you're ready now? 175 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,994 ALAN: Well, for one thing I've grown... 176 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:41,330 And so has your bank roll. 177 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:41,872 SUZANNA: You're right. 178 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,791 You're very simple. 179 00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:48,337 ALAN: Well come on. 180 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,922 Can't you take a joke? 181 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,558 ALICIA: ...Pardon me, is this seat ta... 182 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:03,686 Oh it's you. 183 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:04,687 MASON: And it's you. 184 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,688 ALICIA: Mmm... 185 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:11,902 Do you have a dog? 186 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,030 MASON: Do I have a dog? 187 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,698 Oh...oh... 188 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,867 First in his class in obedience school. 189 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,703 A magnificent animal. 190 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:27,043 Do you know he can actually sing, "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window." Oh, dear me. 191 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:27,585 I'm sorry. 192 00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:28,711 I must be boring you. 193 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:29,879 ALICIA: Oh, not at all. 194 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:30,755 I love dogs. 195 00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:33,215 Well, as a matter of fact, I have one. 196 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,050 MASON: I knew it. 197 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,259 I knew it. 198 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,928 You can always tell a dog person... 199 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,221 Uh-uh... 200 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:43,059 Now...now, now, don't tell me... 201 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:47,229 Ummm...Saint Bernard. 202 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:47,730 ALICIA: Close. 203 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,732 Yorky... 204 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:54,362 Well, not a purebred, but a near miss. 205 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:59,200 MASON: Excuse my forwardness, but do you have dinner plans? 206 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,451 ALICIA: Well, no. 207 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:05,206 MASON: May I call for you at your cabin about seven o'clock? 208 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:06,248 ALICIA: My cabin? 209 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,583 MASON: Yes. 210 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:09,752 ALICIA: Ah, well...tell you the truth, I haven't unpacked yet... 211 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:10,586 MASON: Oh. 212 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:12,129 ALICIA: ...it's a little bit messy... 213 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,215 Why don't we meet in the dining room? 214 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:15,925 MASON: Fine...fine. 215 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:20,471 Now tell me, are you having a problem with fleas? 216 00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:24,183 ALICIA: Well, as a matter of fact, yes...especially in hot weather. 217 00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,351 MASON: Oh...yes. 218 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:54,880 JULIE: ...Well, everybody seems to be enjoying themselves. 219 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,132 DOC: Well, what's not to enjoy? 220 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:59,176 Mexican Fiesta Night's one of the highlights of the trip. 221 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,471 Margaritas, chicken in mole, and fried bananas. 222 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,807 GOPHER: Mexico, my Mexico... 223 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,309 That ol' black magic's got me in its spell... 224 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,144 That ol'... 225 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,186 DOC: Hold it. 226 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,313 "Old Black Magic?" 227 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,064 GOPHER: I never learned Spanish. 228 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:22,158 JULIE: Suzanna, you look sensational. 229 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:22,825 SUZANNA: I look okay? 230 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:23,826 JULIE: Yes. 231 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:24,660 SUZANNA: I'm dining at the Captain's table. 232 00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:25,995 JULIE: Oh, let me show you the way. 233 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:26,871 It's right over here. 234 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,334 SUZANNA: I mean, I want everything to be just right. 235 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,462 I'm sure he doesn't just let anybody eat with him... 236 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,176 Or possibly he does. 237 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,929 CAPTAIN: Miss Wells, I'm glad you could join us. 238 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,688 ALAN: Wow...are those real diamonds? 239 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:53,814 SUZANNA: They cost eight thousand dollars. 240 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,524 Would you like to see the bill? 241 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,360 ALAN: I only meant, I've never seen... 242 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:01,071 Forget it... 243 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,073 You had more class when you were a waitress. 244 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:13,709 ISAAC: Hi. 245 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:14,376 SELENA: Hi. 246 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,004 ISAAC: Not eating? 247 00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:18,672 SELENA: Not hungry. 248 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,716 ISAAC: Another water? 249 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,885 SELENA: Maybe something a little stronger. 250 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,429 ISAAC: Right...some orange juice. 251 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:29,350 SELENA: Scotch rocks...and go easy on the orange juice. 252 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:30,851 ISAAC: Okay. 253 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,687 SELENA: So, did you solve that man's problem? 254 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,064 ISAAC: What man? 255 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:38,567 SELENA: The guy on deck today...who wanted a real relationship. 256 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,070 ISAAC: Oh...him. 257 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,906 No, that's just a guy who's been through the wringer. 258 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:47,618 SELENA: And you? 259 00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:51,038 ISAAC: Oh, I'm more your drip dry. 260 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,666 SELENA: I don't believe that. 261 00:13:55,918 --> 00:14:01,048 ISAAC: Well, if you're all set...I have to go open up the Acapulco Lounge... 262 00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:03,717 Your replacement bartender will be here in a minute. 263 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,594 SELENA: Oh... 264 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,972 ISAAC: Something else you need? 265 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:11,100 SELENA: How are you fixed for advice? 266 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:14,436 ISAAC: Oh...that's just a miss, myth... 267 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,940 Myth, miss... 268 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:21,068 Bartenders' advice isn't any better than anyone else's. 269 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:24,738 We're just freer with it. 270 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:29,243 SELENA: Well, what I really need is for someone to talk to. 271 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,495 ISAAC: Okay. 272 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:32,997 I'm all ears. 273 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,298 ALICIA: You know my little Cricket is practically human. 274 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:45,843 You know at times she'll cock her little head and scrunch her little face up 275 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:50,472 and I could swear that she was pondering some deep philosophical question. 276 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:57,438 I expect her to speak English and solve the international monetary crises. 277 00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,231 MASON: Ohhh... 278 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,442 ALICIA: Mason, what's the matter? 279 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,152 MASON: I miss King. 280 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,822 Oh, I know my houseman is taking good care of him, but... 281 00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:11,285 this is about the time I'd be dishing out his kibble... 282 00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:15,831 He likes it with...a little chopped sirloin thrown in. 283 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,125 ALICIA: Awww... 284 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,169 MASON: It's not fair. 285 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:25,382 They allow people to bring their children on board. 286 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:31,472 ALICIA: Mason, come to my cabin...I'm going to cheer you up. 287 00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:38,270 MASON: Things move awfully fast on a ship. 288 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:54,370 SELENA: ...and Jimmy wants to get married next month. 289 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:59,875 But it was like you were saying...a person has to be sure. 290 00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:01,752 ISAAC: Why aren't you? 291 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,545 You said he was good to you. 292 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,838 SELENA: Yes. 293 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,340 Very good. 294 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,258 ISAAC: Then what? 295 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:11,053 Are you afraid you're gonna make a commitment and then he'll walk? 296 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,183 SELENA: No. 297 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,397 GOPHER: Hey, Isaac, how'd you like...oh wait... 298 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,272 DOC: Excuse us. 299 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,111 ISAAC: Look. 300 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,737 Let's start again. 301 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,489 This time in English. 302 00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,491 SELENA: I think it's me. 303 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:38,205 I've been through one lousy marriage and I'm not sure if I'm ready to take on the responsibility... 304 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:41,792 make the sacrifices...you have to give up so much. 305 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:44,753 ISAAC: That's just a cop-out. 306 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:49,591 When it's right, there are no sacrifices. 307 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:55,097 As much as you give him, he's gonna give it right back to you... 308 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:59,435 That's what they call love, Selena. 309 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:02,062 SELENA: I was right about you. 310 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,480 You're beautiful. 311 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,277 ISAAC: Thank you. 312 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,780 SELENA: No...thank you. 313 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,666 ISAAC: I'll never learn. 314 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:31,467 ALICIA: Well, here we are. 315 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,343 MASON: Alicia, wouldn't you like to have a drink? 316 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,636 In the bar? 317 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,637 With other people? 318 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,639 ALICIA: Oh, I've got some sherry in my cabin. 319 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,850 MASON: Well, I prefer champagne. 320 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,810 ALICIA: I've got some of that, too. 321 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,644 MASON: How 'bout Slivowitz? 322 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:43,312 ALICIA: Oh. 323 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,773 Mason... 324 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,484 MASON: Alicia, everything is happening so quickly. 325 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:52,321 ALICIA: But, Mason, I'm just trying to lift your spirits. 326 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:53,322 MASON: Well, thanks. 327 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,575 But...why don't we at least have a dance first. 328 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,542 ALICIA: Alright. 329 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,075 CAPTAIN: Things can't be that bad. 330 00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:42,371 ALAN: You mean it could be worse? 331 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,706 CAPTAIN: ...Where's Suzanna? 332 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:48,877 ALAN: Probably down in her cabin stuffing money in her mattress. 333 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,171 CAPTAIN: Now, Alan. 334 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,340 ALAN: Aw, it's not her fault, Captain. 335 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:57,094 Every time I open my mouth, I...I stick my foot in it. 336 00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:01,223 "Are those real diamonds?" No wonder she's convinced I'm after her money. 337 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:08,397 SUZANNA: Oh, if this money makes me so miserable, maybe I should just give it all away. 338 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:14,695 JULIE: Well, why don't we start with the Julie McCoy Foundation for the Permanently Broke. 339 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,071 SUZANNA: Oh, listen to me. 340 00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:19,116 Now if Alan had said that, I would have been mad. 341 00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,368 Oh, why can't I trust him? 342 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,995 Maybe he does love me. 343 00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:25,747 ALAN: I might as well forget it. 344 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,251 She'll never believe I love her for herself. 345 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:34,464 CAPTAIN: Well, in that case, perhaps you should tack to the leeward instead of the windward. 346 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,091 ALAN: That's terrific. 347 00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:39,219 Here I'm having a romantic problem, and you're playing Admiral of the Fleet. 348 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:44,099 CAPTAIN: I mean...maybe you should get a little devious... 349 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,438 really devious. 350 00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,972 GOPHER: Lover's tiff? 351 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,641 ISAAC: Um...she's not my lover. 352 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,976 She's already got a guy. 353 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,603 DOC: I don't see one. 354 00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:31,980 GOPHER: She'd probably love to dance. 355 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,607 ISAAC: Then why don't you dance with her. 356 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,318 Look, I've already played this game and I know how it ends. 357 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,528 Lady one thousand...Washington zero. 358 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:41,698 GOPHER: Look...I am not suggesting matrimony. 359 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,743 I am suggesting the Latin hustle. 360 00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,578 DOC: What's all this business about winning or losing. 361 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,330 We're just talking about having a little fun. 362 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,170 ISAAC: Well, there's nobody to watch the bar. 363 00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:57,172 GOPHER: Hey, what'll be, mister? 364 00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,548 An extra dry martini? 365 00:20:58,632 --> 00:20:59,132 DOC: On the rocks? 366 00:20:59,216 --> 00:20:59,675 Straight up? 367 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,343 With or without a twist? 368 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,512 ISAAC: Okay, you guys. 369 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:04,846 Try not to poison anybody. 370 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:05,555 DOC: Okay. 371 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:06,306 What're you havin'? 372 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,140 Step right up. 373 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,850 Who'd like a drink? 374 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,352 ISAAC: Do you want to trip the light...? 375 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,353 SELENA: Fantastic. 376 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,521 ISAAC: Fantastic. 377 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,748 SUZANNA: This money is making me crazy. 378 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:35,210 JULIE: Well, I'd like enough just to make me slightly loony. 379 00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:37,546 SUZANNA: Well, I'm not gonna let this happen to me. 380 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:40,716 I'm gonna go and apologize to Alan and give this thing another chance. 381 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,551 JULIE: Good for you. 382 00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,094 SUZANNA: But what if he really is a rat? 383 00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:46,221 He doesn't love me, just my loot. 384 00:21:46,304 --> 00:21:47,556 JULIE: For heaven's sakes. 385 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:50,225 SUZANNA: You're right... 386 00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:51,560 You are right. 387 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,603 JULIE: Okay. 388 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,564 CAPTAIN: Miss Wells, may I speak to you for a moment, please. 389 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,232 SUZANNA: Perhaps later, Captain. 390 00:21:57,315 --> 00:22:00,360 CAPTAIN: I don't ordinarily interfere in the private lives of my passengers, but... 391 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,613 what I have just heard is the most...well, the most shocking 392 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:07,075 case of out and out fortune hunting I've ever come across. 393 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,827 SUZANNA: Alan? 394 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,412 CAPTAIN: What can I say. 395 00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:16,543 He told me the only reason he's on this ship is to get his hands on your money. 396 00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:17,919 SUZANNA: Ohhhh... 397 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:21,715 CAPTAIN: His scheme also includes a quickie marriage in Mazatlan. 398 00:22:21,798 --> 00:22:23,925 SUZANNA: So I was right all along. 399 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:28,889 Well...I will teach him a lesson he will never forget. 400 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,395 JULIE: Oh...Captain... 401 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:36,521 CAPTAIN: Hm? 402 00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:40,650 JULIE: I wish that there was something I could do. 403 00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:44,237 CAPTAIN: Just remember me at Academy Awards time. 404 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:56,291 ALICIA: Oh, Mason, I'm so glad that you suggested that we go dancing. 405 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,626 MASON: Yes. 406 00:22:57,709 --> 00:22:59,461 ALICIA: You know, I don't think I've had as much fun in years. 407 00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:00,295 MASON: Me, either. 408 00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:00,962 ALICIA: Oh... 409 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,090 Now this time you will come in. 410 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,674 MASON: Try and stop me. 411 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:05,717 ALICIA: And Mason... 412 00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:09,638 I think you're going to be amazed...delighted. 413 00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:12,265 MASON: Amazed and delighted. 414 00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:13,934 ALICIA: Close your eyes. 415 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:17,104 MASON: All right. 416 00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:17,979 ALICIA: Right in here. 417 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:18,814 MASON: Okay. 418 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:19,815 ALICIA: Now you stand right there. 419 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,525 MASON: Yes. 420 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:25,487 ALICIA: Oh, and Mason...you must promise me never to breathe a word of this to anyone. 421 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:26,154 MASON: Never. 422 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,781 I am a gentleman... 423 00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:37,457 Mmm...that perfume. 424 00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:39,292 I can't...I can't describe it. 425 00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:41,962 It's...it's like an animal musk. 426 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:45,882 ALICIA: I'm ready, darling. 427 00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:46,758 MASON: Oh... 428 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:50,637 ALICIA: You're not gonna believe this. 429 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,556 Okay, open your eyes. 430 00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:53,765 MASON: All right... 431 00:23:58,728 --> 00:24:00,313 Oh... 432 00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:02,107 ALICIA: You see. 433 00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,526 Mason, that really was a dog this morning. 434 00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:06,027 Mason, this is Cricket. 435 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,488 Cricket, this is Mason. 436 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:09,698 MASON: She's adorable. 437 00:24:09,781 --> 00:24:11,700 It wasn't what I was expecting. 438 00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:12,701 ALICIA: Oh, I know. 439 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:15,662 You probably thought she'd be much bigger. 440 00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:16,371 Go ahead and pet her. 441 00:24:16,454 --> 00:24:18,373 She just loves people. 442 00:24:18,456 --> 00:24:19,332 MASON: Oh. 443 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:22,335 ALICIA: Most people...Cricket, Cricket... 444 00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:25,422 What's come over you?...I don't understand. 445 00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:29,050 She's usually such a good judge of character. 446 00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:33,638 MASON: Well...this character better call it a night. 447 00:24:37,934 --> 00:24:38,727 MASON: Goodnight. 448 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:42,022 ALICIA: Well, goodnight... 449 00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:47,903 Cricket, come on now. 450 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:49,571 Give me a break. 451 00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:53,074 I don't meet that many nice men that you should chase them away. 452 00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:29,611 JULIE: Barkeep... 453 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:31,613 May I have a grasshopper, please. 454 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:32,656 GOPHER: A grasshopper. 455 00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:33,782 Yes, ma'am. 456 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:35,992 DOC: Oh, coming right up... 457 00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:37,369 What color is a grasshopper? 458 00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:42,123 JULIE: Well, unless the last one I had was moldy, they're green. 459 00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:42,958 GOPHER: They're green. 460 00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,334 Grasshoppers are green. 461 00:25:44,417 --> 00:25:45,669 So, we want to go with the... 462 00:25:45,752 --> 00:25:46,920 DOC: Ahhh... 463 00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:47,629 Creme de menthe. 464 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:48,755 GOPHER: The creme de menthe. 465 00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:51,007 And if I were the creme de menthe, where would I be? 466 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,175 DOC: There it is. 467 00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:56,596 I'll put it in the shaker with the ice. 468 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,432 GOPHER: Put it in the shaker with the ice. 469 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,184 Okay. 470 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,440 DOC: Well, shake it, that's why they call it a shaker. 471 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:09,067 GOPHER: Careful, sometimes they charge when they're wounded. 472 00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:11,278 Okay... 473 00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:15,824 DOC: Careful. 474 00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:18,994 GOPHER: Hey...do I tell you how to perform open heart surgery? 475 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:20,787 You're dealing with a master. 476 00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:30,922 JULIE: On second thought...make it a perfect Rob Roy. 477 00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:45,645 SUZANNA: Anyway...I want you to know that this money stuff's all behind us. 478 00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:47,355 I trust you implicitly. 479 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,190 ALAN: Great. 480 00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:53,153 I was beginning to think this was gonna be one of those days when I couldn't make a nickel... 481 00:26:53,236 --> 00:26:55,405 There I go again. 482 00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:56,614 SUZANNA: Never mind. 483 00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:58,575 I know you love me. 484 00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:05,081 And I love you, too...Alan, let's not wait another moment longer. 485 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,751 Let's get married in Mazatlan...tomorrow. 486 00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:09,252 ALAN: Oh, my darling. 487 00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:12,589 You've...you've made me the happiest man in the bank...in the world... 488 00:27:12,672 --> 00:27:13,882 in the world. 489 00:27:38,656 --> 00:27:40,909 P.A. VOICE: Good morning and welcome to Mazatlan. 490 00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:42,952 We hope you enjoy your day. 491 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:48,958 ISAAC: Here you go. 492 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:49,292 ALICIA: Oh, thank you. 493 00:27:59,677 --> 00:28:01,262 SELENA: Good morning. 494 00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:02,305 ISAAC: Morning. 495 00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:04,849 SELENA: Oh, Isaac, thanks again for last night. 496 00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:07,936 I haven't danced like that in ages. 497 00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:10,730 ISAAC: You mean your fiancé doesn't take you dancing? 498 00:28:10,814 --> 00:28:12,315 SELENA: No... 499 00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,067 Well, thanks again. 500 00:28:14,150 --> 00:28:15,026 I'll see you. 501 00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:15,610 ISAAC: Okay. 502 00:28:20,698 --> 00:28:21,908 DOC: You see? 503 00:28:21,991 --> 00:28:24,285 A couple of dances don't necessarily lead to a broken heart. 504 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,453 GOPHER: Sure. 505 00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:27,997 You're happy...she's happy and you had a little fun. 506 00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:28,623 ISAAC: Yeah. 507 00:28:28,706 --> 00:28:30,458 It was fun. 508 00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:32,419 DOC: Maybe we could open a dating bureau. 509 00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:33,670 GOPHER: Right. 510 00:28:33,753 --> 00:28:35,463 I'll have my attorney call your attorney. 511 00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:36,506 DOC: What do you suppose they'll say to each other? 512 00:28:36,589 --> 00:28:46,599 GOPHER: Oh...whatever they do in legal gup-gup. 513 00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:49,686 MASON: Ah, reading poetry in the sunshine. 514 00:28:49,769 --> 00:28:50,228 ALICIA: Yes. 515 00:28:50,311 --> 00:28:51,146 MASON: Browning? 516 00:28:51,229 --> 00:28:51,646 ALICIA: No. 517 00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:54,858 I usually freckle. 518 00:28:54,941 --> 00:28:58,278 MASON: I must say, you have a charming sense of humor. 519 00:28:58,361 --> 00:29:00,447 You know, we really do have a great deal in common. 520 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:03,158 ALICIA: Well, you know, that's true...especially our love of dogs. 521 00:29:03,241 --> 00:29:05,493 MASON: Oh, yes. 522 00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:07,620 ALICIA: Now, Mason, about last night. 523 00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:10,290 Now you mustn't go too much by first impressions. 524 00:29:10,373 --> 00:29:13,001 Cricket's a dear, really. 525 00:29:13,084 --> 00:29:16,254 It's just that, well, I've had her since she was a tiny puppy. 526 00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:20,842 Oh, true, she gets a little bossy once in a while, but she just thinks she's taking care of me. 527 00:29:20,925 --> 00:29:24,095 MASON: You take excellent care of her. 528 00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:25,346 ALICIA: Oh, thank you. 529 00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:28,892 Well, it's just a matter of good grooming, a sensible diet... 530 00:29:28,975 --> 00:29:31,519 a little treat thrown in once in a while. 531 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:36,149 Oh, did I tell you that Cricket is an absolute fiend for Swiss cheese? 532 00:29:36,232 --> 00:29:38,234 MASON: Swiss cheese? 533 00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:39,652 ALICIA: Oh, which reminds me. 534 00:29:39,736 --> 00:29:42,864 I'd better go and give her her mid-morning snack. 535 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:43,698 MASON: Bye 536 00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:48,369 JULIE: Mr. Randolph. 537 00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:49,704 Are you enjoying yourself? 538 00:29:49,787 --> 00:29:50,788 MASON: Yes. 539 00:29:50,872 --> 00:29:55,210 But...I have this sudden craving for Swiss cheese. 540 00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:57,879 JULIE: Well, I'll have the steward bring you a Swiss cheese on rye. 541 00:29:57,962 --> 00:29:59,047 MASON: Perfect. 542 00:29:59,130 --> 00:30:01,174 But tell them to hold the rye. 543 00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:02,050 JULIE: Yes, sir. 544 00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:03,676 Swiss cheese on nothing. 545 00:30:11,184 --> 00:30:12,685 ALAN: Suzanna. 546 00:30:12,769 --> 00:30:14,729 What are you doing lying around in a bikini? 547 00:30:14,812 --> 00:30:17,565 SUZANNA: Attracting a lot of men, I hope. 548 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,567 ALAN: You're supposed to be dressed for our wedding. 549 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:21,861 SUZANNA: Oh...I knew there was something I was supposed to do. 550 00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:22,862 Silly me. 551 00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,447 ALAN: I don't understand you. 552 00:30:24,531 --> 00:30:26,574 SUZANNA: But I understand you, Alan. 553 00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:27,534 Thanks to the Captain there. 554 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:32,121 ALAN: What? 555 00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:33,790 CAPTAIN: Yes. 556 00:30:33,873 --> 00:30:38,461 I told her about your rotten scheme. 557 00:30:38,545 --> 00:30:42,131 Marrying a lovely girl like this for her money. 558 00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:46,010 Did you think I'd let you get away with it, you...no good bum? 559 00:30:52,350 --> 00:30:53,768 ALAN: All right, you got me. 560 00:30:53,851 --> 00:30:56,145 I was after your money. 561 00:30:56,229 --> 00:30:58,606 Oh, but it wasn't for me, Suzanna. 562 00:30:58,690 --> 00:31:00,275 It was for my little old white-haired mother. 563 00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:01,609 It's her heart. 564 00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:02,902 She needs a pacemaker. 565 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:05,446 SUZANNA: Your mother has red hair and she's in perfect health. 566 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:06,990 She doesn't need a pacemaker. 567 00:31:07,073 --> 00:31:10,243 ALAN: She needs a dune buggy?... 568 00:31:10,326 --> 00:31:10,952 Aw, come on. 569 00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:12,120 Don't act like that. 570 00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:14,080 So, we're not getting married. 571 00:31:14,163 --> 00:31:14,956 We can still hang out together. 572 00:31:15,039 --> 00:31:15,957 Have a few laughs. 573 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,000 SUZANNA: Are you crazy? 574 00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:21,129 Why would I hang out with a self-confessed rat? 575 00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:25,133 ALAN: Because when you meet somebody else you'll begin to wonder if he's a rat. 576 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:27,176 At least with me, you know what you're getting. 577 00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:40,315 SELENA: Hi. 578 00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:41,441 ISAAC: Hi. 579 00:31:41,524 --> 00:31:42,859 SELENA: Where are you going? 580 00:31:42,942 --> 00:31:47,822 ISAAC: Oh, I'm gonna go swingin' on a cloud. 581 00:31:47,905 --> 00:31:48,823 SELENA: Really? 582 00:31:48,906 --> 00:31:49,782 ISAAC: Yeah. 583 00:31:49,866 --> 00:31:53,411 SELENA: Oh, it sounds great. 584 00:31:55,663 --> 00:31:58,499 ISAAC: You want to come along?... 585 00:31:58,583 --> 00:31:59,334 Great. 586 00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:00,668 You ever been parachuting before? 587 00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:02,837 SELENA: Well, not exactly. 588 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,174 Well, we used to sky-dive, but then Jimmy... 589 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:08,217 ISAAC: Jimmy...your fiancé? 590 00:32:08,301 --> 00:32:10,303 SELENA: Yes. 591 00:32:10,386 --> 00:32:12,889 ISAAC: Would you do me a favor? 592 00:32:12,972 --> 00:32:16,726 Leave Jimmy on the ship, okay? 593 00:32:16,809 --> 00:32:17,602 SELENA: Okay. 594 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,358 ALICIA: Who is it? 595 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:24,442 MASON: It's just me. 596 00:32:29,113 --> 00:32:30,031 Hi. 597 00:32:30,114 --> 00:32:31,032 ALICIA: Hi. 598 00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,450 MASON: A little something sweet for you. 599 00:32:32,533 --> 00:32:33,701 ALICIA: Oh, thank you. 600 00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,203 MASON: And a little something cheesy for your cabin mate. 601 00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:37,038 ALICIA: Oh...Mason. 602 00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:38,373 Swiss cheese. 603 00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:39,582 You think of everything. 604 00:32:39,666 --> 00:32:41,042 MASON: Here you go, girl. 605 00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:42,168 Your favorite treat. 606 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:45,505 ALICIA: Come on, Cricket. 607 00:32:45,588 --> 00:32:47,382 Look, a gift from an admirer. 608 00:32:47,465 --> 00:32:54,180 Cricket?...Cricket? 609 00:32:54,263 --> 00:32:55,556 I don't understand, Mason. 610 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,726 She's never rejected Swiss cheese before. 611 00:32:58,810 --> 00:32:59,435 MASON: It's no use. 612 00:32:59,519 --> 00:33:02,397 This dog just doesn't like me. 613 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:03,898 ALICIA: But I like you, Mason. 614 00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:05,274 That's all that counts. 615 00:33:05,358 --> 00:33:07,068 Don't worry so much about Cricket. 616 00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:09,570 She'll come around. 617 00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:12,490 MASON: I hope so. 618 00:33:12,573 --> 00:33:15,076 You wouldn't happen to have a loaf of rye bread handy, would you? 619 00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:16,244 ALICIA: Would pumpernickel do? 620 00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:17,078 MASON: Pumpernickel... 621 00:33:17,161 --> 00:33:18,037 All right. 622 00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:27,755 SELENA: Oh...Isaac... 623 00:33:30,216 --> 00:33:32,593 DOC: Ah...the prodigal bartender returns. 624 00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:34,512 GOPHER: Where were you all day? 625 00:33:34,595 --> 00:33:35,763 ISAAC: Well, no place special. 626 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,599 SELENA: Ah, we had a fabulous afternoon. 627 00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:45,440 We went parachuting and then we went running on the beach and then we found this great little bar... 628 00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:48,317 ISAAC: I just remembered, I left the water running in my cabin. 629 00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:49,736 SELENA: Well, I'll help you bail. 630 00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:55,116 GOPHER: Whoops...Isaac's falling. 631 00:33:55,199 --> 00:33:55,783 DOC: Yeah. 632 00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:56,409 We're the ones who tripped him. 633 00:33:56,492 --> 00:33:57,744 GOPHER: Ain't we devils. 634 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:10,256 MASON: I just remembered about the midnight buffet. 635 00:34:10,339 --> 00:34:12,967 Maybe Cricket would like a lobster tail. 636 00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:18,222 ALICIA: Mason...please, now I know you want Cricket to accept you, but you're pushing. 637 00:34:18,306 --> 00:34:18,973 It'll happen. 638 00:34:19,056 --> 00:34:20,349 I promise. 639 00:34:20,433 --> 00:34:23,644 In the meantime...why don't you concentrate on me. 640 00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:25,521 MASON: Yes... 641 00:34:25,605 --> 00:34:28,274 Maybe she'd rather have the caviar. 642 00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:37,283 ALAN: To the most beautiful girl in the world. 643 00:34:37,366 --> 00:34:44,624 To your mouth...your neck...your arms... 644 00:34:44,707 --> 00:34:45,792 SUZANNA: Alan... 645 00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:47,543 ALAN: Just admiring your assets. 646 00:35:00,264 --> 00:35:07,230 ISAAC: Oh hey...you care to...match moves with me? 647 00:35:07,313 --> 00:35:08,981 SELENA: You call those moves? 648 00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:11,526 Honey, I dance...you just walk around a lot. 649 00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:12,610 ISAAC: Oh, really? 650 00:35:12,693 --> 00:35:14,529 Why don't you put your feet where your mouth is. 651 00:35:14,612 --> 00:35:16,197 SELENA: Well, that's not gonna be too easy... 652 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,200 Oh! 653 00:35:19,283 --> 00:35:22,495 ISAAC: My leg... 654 00:35:22,578 --> 00:35:26,374 GOPHER: Will he live, Doctor? 655 00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:32,213 DOC: He'll live, but he may never walk again. 656 00:35:32,296 --> 00:35:33,214 ISAAC: Selena! 657 00:35:33,297 --> 00:35:35,091 Selena!... 658 00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:41,264 Selena...we were just kidding. 659 00:35:41,347 --> 00:35:43,057 Don't cry. 660 00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:45,184 Honest. 661 00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:47,270 SELENA: Oh, Isaac. 662 00:35:54,485 --> 00:35:56,237 ISAAC: Selena? 663 00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:01,284 You know how we were talking about finding the right person? 664 00:36:01,367 --> 00:36:03,452 Someone to share everything with?... 665 00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:14,964 Isn't that what we've been doing?...I'm crazy about you... 666 00:36:18,342 --> 00:36:20,136 More tears? 667 00:36:20,219 --> 00:36:21,846 You're a regular faucet... 668 00:36:25,182 --> 00:36:29,854 Maybe...maybe we tried to do too much today. 669 00:36:29,937 --> 00:36:31,939 You got tired... 670 00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:35,568 Why don't you get some sleep...then we'll talk about it tomorrow. 671 00:36:35,651 --> 00:36:36,068 SELENA: Isaac... 672 00:36:38,696 --> 00:36:39,572 ISAAC: Tomorrow. 673 00:37:02,511 --> 00:37:04,597 MASON: The cruise is almost over. 674 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,140 ALICIA: Yes. 675 00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:10,645 MASON: Do you think...do you think we could see each other in the city? 676 00:37:10,728 --> 00:37:12,563 ALICIA: Oh yes, Mason. 677 00:37:12,647 --> 00:37:13,314 Yes. 678 00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:14,774 MASON: Alicia? 679 00:37:14,857 --> 00:37:16,108 May I kiss you? 680 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:17,318 ALICIA: Oh, yes... 681 00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:18,027 Yes... 682 00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:21,948 Oh, Mason... 683 00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:24,325 MASON: Alicia. 684 00:37:24,408 --> 00:37:27,662 ALICIA: Mason...let's not say goodnight. 685 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,705 MASON: Well...what about the dog? 686 00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,248 Maybe we should go to my cabin. 687 00:37:31,332 --> 00:37:33,751 ALICIA: No, I can't leave her alone all night. 688 00:37:33,834 --> 00:37:34,877 She'll be asleep. 689 00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:35,836 She won't bother us. 690 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:36,170 MASON: Okay... 691 00:37:36,253 --> 00:37:37,463 Shh... 692 00:37:37,546 --> 00:37:37,922 ALICIA: Come on. 693 00:37:38,005 --> 00:37:38,756 MASON: Shhh... 694 00:37:55,773 --> 00:37:58,192 ALICIA: I'll be right out. 695 00:37:58,275 --> 00:38:00,152 MASON: I'll be waiting... 696 00:38:08,411 --> 00:38:09,078 Ah...oh... 697 00:38:22,299 --> 00:38:25,511 Be quiet and go to sleep... 698 00:38:25,594 --> 00:38:28,264 Quiet...quiet. 699 00:38:28,347 --> 00:38:29,140 Sit. 700 00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:29,557 Roll over. 701 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:30,182 Play dead... 702 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:40,067 Oh, no, Cricket! 703 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:41,193 Cricket, come back here. 704 00:38:41,277 --> 00:38:42,236 Cricket! 705 00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:47,033 ALICIA: I'm ready, darling...Mason?...Cricket? 706 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:48,075 MASON: She got out. 707 00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:49,076 ALICIA: Oh, no. 708 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:49,452 Cricket! 709 00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:50,578 Cricket! 710 00:38:50,661 --> 00:38:51,871 MASON: You're buggin' me. 711 00:39:03,632 --> 00:39:06,594 SUZANNA: Well, this is where I live. 712 00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:09,764 ALAN: Nice building... 713 00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:14,643 You...you wouldn't consider kissing a dirty dog like me, would you? 714 00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:15,644 SUZANNA: Nah... 715 00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:34,288 ALICIA: Cricket! 716 00:39:34,371 --> 00:39:34,997 Cricket! 717 00:39:35,081 --> 00:39:35,539 MASON: Cricket, where are you? 718 00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:36,457 ALICIA: Cricket?! 719 00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:37,333 MASON: Cricket! 720 00:39:37,416 --> 00:39:37,541 Cricket! 721 00:39:46,175 --> 00:39:49,804 ISAAC: Did you ever look at someone and see fireworks and 722 00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:53,641 hear music in your head like you've never heard it before? 723 00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:55,017 GOPHER: Yeah. 724 00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,812 One Fourth of July at Disneyland. 725 00:39:57,895 --> 00:40:02,733 ISAAC: I guess you guys have forgotten what it's like to be in love. 726 00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:06,821 DOC: Isaac, I hate to rain on your parade, but I thought Selena already had a guy. 727 00:40:06,904 --> 00:40:09,031 ISAAC: The key word is had. 728 00:40:09,115 --> 00:40:10,157 He's out. 729 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:13,494 And...I'm in. 730 00:40:13,577 --> 00:40:14,495 GOPHER: Wait a minute. 731 00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:16,455 I thought you were just gonna have some fun. 732 00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:18,249 DOC: Like I said, it's not winning or losing. 733 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:19,458 ISAAC: Right. 734 00:40:19,542 --> 00:40:21,335 It's how you play the game. 735 00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:24,046 ALICIA: Cricket! 736 00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:25,131 Here girl! 737 00:40:25,214 --> 00:40:25,422 Here girl! 738 00:40:25,506 --> 00:40:26,549 Cricket? 739 00:40:26,632 --> 00:40:27,174 Excuse me... 740 00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:28,843 But have you seen my dog? 741 00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:29,468 GOPHER: Dog? 742 00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:30,010 ALICIA: Yes. 743 00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:30,845 Her name is Cricket. 744 00:40:30,928 --> 00:40:31,846 And she's almost a Yorkshire Terrier. 745 00:40:31,929 --> 00:40:35,015 There must be a million places she could go. 746 00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:35,850 DOC: She'd better not. 747 00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:36,350 The Captain'll have a fit. 748 00:40:39,895 --> 00:40:40,855 MASON: There she is! 749 00:40:40,938 --> 00:40:41,689 ALICIA: Cricket! 750 00:40:41,772 --> 00:40:42,398 MASON: Cricket! 751 00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:44,316 ALICIA: Cricket, here girl! 752 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,484 GOPHER: This is completely against the rules. 753 00:40:45,568 --> 00:40:46,735 I thought everybody knew that. 754 00:40:46,819 --> 00:40:47,736 I mean, what am I supposed to do? 755 00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:49,697 Stand out on the deck and hand out leaflets? 756 00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:52,658 I mean, what's gonna happen when the Captain finds out?... 757 00:40:52,741 --> 00:40:53,993 The Captain. 758 00:40:56,829 --> 00:40:59,707 JULIE: Captain, I think it's wonderful what you're doing for Alan. 759 00:40:59,790 --> 00:41:03,919 CAPTAIN: Well, you know, every once in a while we have to reach out and help our fellow human beings... 760 00:41:04,003 --> 00:41:06,338 Otherwise, this world would just go to the dogs. 761 00:41:10,634 --> 00:41:12,720 JULIE: Sir, when you're right, you're right... 762 00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:18,350 Did I tell you about the terrific shop I found in Mazatlan? 763 00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:21,455 ALICIA: Cricket just loves to skinny-dip at night. 764 00:42:31,966 --> 00:42:34,760 CAPTAIN: Well, I obviously don't have a choice. 765 00:42:34,843 --> 00:42:37,429 I'm going to have to bend the rules a little. 766 00:42:37,513 --> 00:42:44,103 Cricket can stay in your cabin...Purser Smith, order some soup bones for the hound. 767 00:42:44,186 --> 00:42:45,980 ALICIA: Oh, thank you, Captain. 768 00:42:46,063 --> 00:42:46,563 GOPHER: Yes, sir. 769 00:42:46,647 --> 00:42:48,607 Thank you, sir. 770 00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:49,984 CAPTAIN: What makes you think you're off the hook? 771 00:43:00,286 --> 00:43:03,080 MASON: Now...where were we? 772 00:43:09,628 --> 00:43:18,304 ALICIA: Stop that. 773 00:43:18,387 --> 00:43:20,723 MASON: It...it's no use, Alicia. 774 00:43:20,806 --> 00:43:24,685 I'm Romeo...you're Juliet, but Cricket won't let me near the balcony. 775 00:43:24,768 --> 00:43:26,687 ALICIA: Oh, Mason, don't go. 776 00:43:26,770 --> 00:43:29,356 MASON: Please, don't make it any more difficult than it is. 777 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:34,028 Another time...another place... 778 00:43:34,111 --> 00:43:35,571 another dog... 779 00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:11,106 SUZANNA: ...well, here I am absolutely madly in love with Alan. 780 00:44:11,190 --> 00:44:13,025 JULIE: Well, I think that's terrific Suzanna. 781 00:44:13,108 --> 00:44:14,401 SUZANNA: Are you crazy? 782 00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:15,903 He admits that he only wants my money. 783 00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:17,529 JULIE: Well, sure, but haven't you figured that out? 784 00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:19,907 It's all part of the Captain's plan. 785 00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:20,366 SUZANNA: Plan? 786 00:44:20,449 --> 00:44:21,742 JULIE: Sure. 787 00:44:21,825 --> 00:44:23,911 The Captain saw that you were suspicious of Alan, and he figured, 788 00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:27,373 well, if your suspicions were confirmed...maybe you could just 789 00:44:27,456 --> 00:44:30,417 relax and give yourself a chance to fall in love. 790 00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:32,586 SUZANNA: That is downright sneaky. 791 00:44:32,669 --> 00:44:35,422 JULIE: Oh, well, Captain Stubing graduated top of his class at 792 00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:38,008 the Maritime Academy of Sneakiness. 793 00:44:42,846 --> 00:44:48,477 SUZANNA: So...you thought up that crazy scheme... 794 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:52,564 And you went along with it?... 795 00:44:52,648 --> 00:44:56,318 Well, let me tell you something, buster...it worked. 796 00:45:02,032 --> 00:45:04,118 JULIE: Oh, Captain. 797 00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:04,827 Thank you. 798 00:45:15,087 --> 00:45:15,796 ISAAC: Florist. 799 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:17,506 Hey, sleepyhead. 800 00:45:17,589 --> 00:45:21,927 I've come to escort you through the wilds of Los Angeles. 801 00:45:22,010 --> 00:45:23,637 Oh, hi, Florence. 802 00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:24,930 Is Miss Moore in? 803 00:45:25,013 --> 00:45:25,472 MAID: Why no, Isaac. 804 00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:28,142 I think she's left. 805 00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:28,517 ISAAC: Thank you. 806 00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:40,154 GOPHER: Oh, thank you, but I prefer chocolates. 807 00:45:40,237 --> 00:45:41,655 ISAAC: Listen, have you Selena? 808 00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:42,531 DOC: Yes, she just left. 809 00:45:42,614 --> 00:45:43,323 Sorry, Isaac. 810 00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:57,921 ISAAC: You forgot to say goodbye. 811 00:46:05,429 --> 00:46:08,348 It is goodbye. 812 00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:11,477 SELENA: Oh, Isaac, I can't explain. 813 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,521 It would only come out wrong. 814 00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:17,983 But believe me, I meant it when I said you were beautiful. 815 00:46:18,066 --> 00:46:21,653 You're everything a woman could want. 816 00:46:21,737 --> 00:46:22,029 ISAAC: But why... 817 00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:26,533 JIMMY: Selena! 818 00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:29,161 SELENA: Jimmy!... 819 00:46:32,122 --> 00:46:34,791 Oh, Jimmy...oh...oh... 820 00:46:44,426 --> 00:46:47,221 ISAAC: Excuse me. 821 00:46:47,304 --> 00:46:49,723 Beautiful roses for a beautiful lady. 822 00:46:49,806 --> 00:46:51,558 WOMAN: For me? 823 00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:53,894 Oh, thank you. 824 00:46:53,977 --> 00:46:55,229 ISAAC: My pleasure. 825 00:47:06,823 --> 00:47:08,992 "The Love Boat will continue in a moment." 826 00:47:18,502 --> 00:47:22,297 MASON: Alicia, I couldn't leave without giving you this. 827 00:47:22,381 --> 00:47:24,591 A little memento of the time we spent together. 828 00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:26,260 ALICIA: Oh, Mason. 829 00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:28,095 A sterling silver dog whistle. 830 00:47:30,806 --> 00:47:32,099 MASON: Goodbye, Alicia. 831 00:47:32,182 --> 00:47:43,485 ALICIA: Goodbye...Cricket, sometimes I wish you were a goldfish. 832 00:47:48,865 --> 00:47:50,617 MASON: Hello, King... 833 00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:53,036 How are you, old boy? 834 00:47:58,875 --> 00:47:59,960 ALICIA: Cricket! 835 00:48:00,043 --> 00:48:01,712 Cricket!... 836 00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,133 Oh look, Mason, it's wonderful. 837 00:48:06,216 --> 00:48:07,509 They're crazy about each other. 838 00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:11,346 MASON: You know what they say...two dogs can live as cheaply as one. 839 00:48:11,430 --> 00:48:13,473 ALICIA: Oh, Mason... 60528

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