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Once upon a time
in a kingdom far, far away,
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the king and queen were blessed
with a beautiful baby girl.
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And throughout the land,
everyone was happy
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until the sun went down
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and they saw that their daughter
was cursed with a frightful enchantment
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that took hold each and every night.
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Desperate, they sought the help
of a fairy godmother
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who had them lock the young Princess
away in a tower,
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00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:53,614
there to await the kiss
of the handsome prince charming.
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It was he who would chance
the perilous journey
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through blistering cold
and scorching desert,
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00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,250
tra veling for many days and nights,
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00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,085
risking life and limb
15
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,380
to reach the dragon is keep.
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00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,304
For he was the bravest
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00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,432
and most handsome...
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00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,228
In all the land.
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00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,273
And it was destiny that his kiss
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00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,361
would break the dreaded curse.
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00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:37,574
He alone would climb to the highest room
of the tallest tower
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to enter the Princess's chambers,
cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,
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00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,415
pull back the gossamer curtains
to find her...
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00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,292
What?
25
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,797
- Princess Fiona?
- No!
26
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,966
Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?
27
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,259
She's on her honeymoon.
28
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,804
Honeymoon? With whom?
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00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,571
J” 80, she said
”what's the problem, baby?”j'
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00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:20,450
j” what's the problem? I don't know
well, maybe I'm in love j”
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00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,994
j” think about it
every time / think about it j”
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00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:25,163
j” can't stop thinking 'bout it p
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00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:28,667
j” how much longer will it take
to cure this? J”
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00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,546
j” just to cure it
'cause / can't ignore it if its love j”
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00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:37,843
j” makes me wanna turn around and face me
but / don't know nothin' 'bout love... j”
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00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:45,475
J” come on, come on
the world will follow alterj”
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00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,394
j” come on, come on j”
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00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:53,567
j” e verybodyis after love... j”
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00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,615
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
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00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:09,416
J” ll/le/tin' under blue skies
belting out sunlight, shimmering love... j”
41
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,629
J” to this strawberry ice cream
ne ver-e ver-ender j”
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00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,339
j” all this love j”
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00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:21,094
j” well, ldidn't mean to do it
but there is no escaping your love j”
44
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:26,850
j” these lines of lightnin'
mean we 're never alone j”
45
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,185
j” never alone... j”
46
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,564
J” jump a little higherj”
47
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,984
j” come on, come on
if you feel a little lighter... j”
48
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:41,990
Hi-yah!
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00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,663
J” we 're accidentally in love... j”
50
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,097
J” accidentally in love j”
51
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:09,267
j” accidentally, I'm
in love, I'm in love j”
52
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:13,063
j” I'm in love, I'm in love
I'm in love, I'm in love j”
53
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,733
j” accidentally in love j”
54
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,487
j” I'm in love... j”
55
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,825
It's so good to be home!
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00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,536
Ooh!
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00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,995
Just you and me and...
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00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:32,207
J” one is the loneliest number
that you'll ever do j”
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00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,837
J” two can be as bad as one j”
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00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:37,754
donkey?
61
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,506
Shrek! Fiona!
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00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,716
We", aren't you two
a sight for sore eyes!
63
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,927
Give us a hug, Shrek,
you old love machine.
64
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,473
And look at you, Mrs. Shrek.
How about a side of sugar for the steed?
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00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,767
Donkey, what are you doing here?
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00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,894
I was just taking care of
your love nest for you.
67
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:57,649
Oh, you mean like sorting the mail
and watering the plants.
68
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:58,984
Yeah, and feeding the fish.
69
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,318
I don't have any fish.
70
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:03,530
You do now.
I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona.
71
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:06,032
That Shrek is a rascally devil.
Get your...
72
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:09,160
Oh, will you look at the time.
Well, I guess you'd better be going.
73
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,924
Don't you want to tell me about your trip?
74
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,582
Or how about a game of parcheesi?
75
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:17,586
Actually, donkey?
Shouldn't you be getting home to dragon?
76
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,337
Oh, yeah, that.
77
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:23,425
I don't know. She's been
all moody and stuff lately.
78
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,427
So I thought I'd move back in
with you guys.
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00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,221
Well, you know we're always happy
to see you, donkey.
80
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,932
But Fiona and I are married now.
81
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:34,185
We need a little time, you know,
to be together.
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00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,564
Just with each other.
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Alone.
84
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,612
Say no more.
You don't have to worry about a thing.
85
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:46,656
I will always be here to make sure
nobody bothers you.
86
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,450
- Donkey!
- Yes, roomie?
87
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,868
You're bothering me.
88
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:54,039
Oh, okay. Uh, all right, cool.
I guess, uh...
89
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,626
Me and Pinocchio was just going
to try to catch a tournament, anyway.
90
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:01,713
So, uh, maybe I'll see y'all Sunday
for a barbecue or something.
91
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:08,970
He'll be fine. Now, where were we?
92
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,140
Ooh. I think I remember.
93
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,353
Donkey!
94
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,689
I know, I know! Alone!
I'm going! I'm going.
95
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,453
But what do you want me
to tell these guys?
96
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,038
Enough, Reggie.
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00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,503
"Dearest Princess Fiona.
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00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:45,799
You are hereby summoned
to the kingdom of far, far away
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00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:49,803
for a royal ball
in celebration of your marriage
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00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,972
at which time the king
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00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:57,435
will bestow his royal blessing upon you
and your, uh...
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00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,312
Uh, prince charming.
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00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:04,150
Love, the king and queen of far, far away.
104
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,569
Aka mom and dad."
105
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,029
Mom and dad?
106
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:11,491
- Prince charming?
- Royal ball? Can I come?
107
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,368
- We're not going.
- What?
108
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,287
I mean, don't you think
they might be a bit
109
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:19,499
shocked to see you like this?
110
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,210
Well, they might be a bit surprised.
111
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:25,380
But they're my parents, Shrek.
They love me.
112
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,674
And don't worry.
They're gonna love you too.
113
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:31,594
Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think
I'll be welcome at the country club.
114
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,471
Will you stop it. They're not like that.
115
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:37,142
Then how do you explain sergeant pompous
and the fancy pants club band?
116
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,562
Oh, come on! You could at least
give them a chance.
117
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,647
Oh, to do what? Sharpen their pitchforks?
118
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,608
No! They just want
to give you their blessing.
119
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,779
Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?
120
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,323
Well, if you want to be a part
of this family, yes!
121
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,451
And who says
I want to be part of this family?
122
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,537
Uh, you did! When you married me!
123
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,706
Well, there's some fine print for you!
124
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,834
So... so that's it.
You won't come?
125
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:08,006
Trust me. It's a bad idea.
We are not going and that's final!
126
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,510
Hey, come on, Shrek!
We don't want to hit traffic!
127
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,974
Don't worry!
We'll take care of everything.
128
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,061
Hey, wait for me!
129
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,047
J” all right, hit it!
Ll/love 'em on! Head 'em up! J”
130
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,198
j” head 'em up, move
'em on! Head 'em up! J”
131
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,742
j” rawhide! Ll/love 'em on! Head 'em up! J”
132
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,119
j” move 'em on! Move 'em on!
Head 'em up! Rawhide! J”
133
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:42,624
j” ride 'em up! Move 'em on!
Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! J”
134
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,935
j” knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead!
Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! J”
135
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,628
j” meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! J”
136
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,463
j” rawhide! J”
137
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,090
yeehaw!
138
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,805
- Are we there yet?
- No.
139
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,727
- Are we there yet?
- Not yet.
140
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,691
- Okay, are we there yet?
- No.
141
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,378
- Are we there yet?
- No!
142
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,404
- Are we there yet?
- Yes.
143
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,115
- Really?
- No!
144
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,425
- Are we there yet?
- No!
145
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,135
- Are we there yet?
- No, we are not!
146
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,411
- Are we there yet?
- No!
147
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,873
- Are we there yet?
- Are we there yet?
148
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,500
That's not funny.
149
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,669
That's really immature.
150
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,421
This is why nobody likes ogres.
151
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:31,756
All right! Your loss!
152
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,467
- I'm gonna just stop talking!
- Finally!
153
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,888
But this is taking forever, Shrek.
There ain't no in-flight movie or nothing.
154
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:43,101
The kingdom of far, far away, donkey.
155
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:47,313
That's where we're going. Far, far...
156
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,023
Away!
157
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,694
All right, all right, I get it.
I'm just so darn bored.
158
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,280
Well, find a way to entertain yourself.
159
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,722
For five minutes,
160
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:25,310
could you not be yourself
for five minutes!
161
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,110
Are we there yet?
162
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,362
- Yes!
- Oh, finally!
163
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,668
Wow!
164
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,840
It's going to be champagne wishes
and caviar dreams from now on.
165
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,260
Hey, good looking!
We'll be back to pick you up later!
166
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,804
- Star maps! Get your star maps!
- Ooh, panty hose!
167
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,521
We are definitely not
in the swamp anymore.
168
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:13,608
Halt.
169
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:20,198
J” well, / talk about it, talk about it
talk about it, talk about it... j”
170
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,493
hey, everyone look!
171
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:39,175
Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh?
Yeah. You working that hat.
172
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:50,144
Swimming pools! Movie stars!
173
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,349
Announcing the long-awaited return
174
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:32,937
of the beautiful Princess Fiona
and her new husband.
175
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,482
Well, this is it.
176
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,526
- This is it.
- This is it.
177
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:39,819
This is it.
178
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,511
Uh, why don't you guys go ahead?
I'll park the car.
179
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,601
So...
180
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,479
You still think this is a good idea?
181
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:18,983
Of course. Look.
Mom and dad look happy to see us.
182
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,985
Who on earth are they?
183
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,071
I think that's our little girl.
184
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:26,657
That's not little.
That's a really big problem.
185
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:29,911
Wasn't she supposed to kiss
prince charming and break the spell?
186
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,373
Well, he's no prince charming,
but they do look...
187
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:37,210
Happy now? We came. We saw them.
188
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,796
Now let's go
before they light the torches.
189
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:43,216
- They're my parents.
- Hello, they locked you in a tower.
190
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,550
Hey, that was for my own...
191
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:48,262
Good! Now here's our chance. Let's go
back inside and pretend we're not home.
192
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,806
Harold, we have to be...
193
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,725
Quick! While they're not looking
we can make a run for it.
194
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,894
Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be...
195
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,313
A disaster! There is no way...
196
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,023
- You can do this.
- But I really...
197
00:14:59,107 --> 00:14:59,941
- Really...
- Really...
198
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,317
Don't... want... to... be...
199
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,610
Here!
200
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,365
Mom,
201
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,825
dad...
202
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,246
I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.
203
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,792
Well, um...
204
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:23,005
It's easy to see where Fiona
gets her good looks from.
205
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,994
Hmm.
206
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,003
Excuse me.
207
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,714
Better out than in, I always say,
eh, Fiona?
208
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,968
That's good.
209
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,971
- Uh...
- I guess not.
210
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,699
What do you mean,
"not on the list“?
211
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,600
Don't tell me you don't know who I am.
212
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,020
Hey, what's happening, everybody?
Thanks for waiting.
213
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,664
I had the hardest time finding this place.
214
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,024
No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!
215
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,486
No, no, no, dad. Dad, it's all right.
It's all right. He's with us.
216
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:30,072
- He helped rescue me from the dragon.
- Yep, that's me, the noble steed.
217
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,074
Hey, waiter!
How about a bowl for the steed?
218
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,242
Oh, boy.
219
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,080
- Um, Shrek?
- Yeah?
220
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,626
Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs. Q.
221
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,252
- Mmm.
- No, no, no.
222
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,545
Darling.
223
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,840
Oh!
224
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:53,221
So, Fiona, tell us about where you live.
225
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:57,975
Well, Shrek owns his own land.
226
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,478
- Don't you, honey?
- Oh, yes!
227
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,439
It's in an enchanted forest,
228
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,942
abundant in squirrels
229
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,903
and cute little duckies and...
230
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,322
What? I know you ain't
talking about the swamp.
231
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:15,201
- Donkey!
- An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original.
232
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,163
Well, I suppose that would be
a fine place to raise the children.
233
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:32,468
It's a bit early to be
thinking about that, isn't it?
234
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,471
- Indeed. I just started eating.
- Harold!
235
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,224
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Dad. It's great, okay?
236
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:41,102
- Well, for his type, yes.
- My type?
237
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,020
I got to go to the bathroom.
238
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:46,524
- Dinner is served!
- Never mind. I can hold it.
239
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:56,033
-Bon appétitl
-oh, Mexican food! My favorite.
240
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:59,870
Well, let's not just sit here with
our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in.
241
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,163
Don't mind if! Do, Lillian.
242
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:05,084
So, I suppose any grandchildren
I could expect from you would be...
243
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,003
Ogres, yes!
244
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,548
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Right, Harold?
245
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,508
Oh, no! No! Of course, not!
246
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,678
That is,
assuming you don't eat your own young!
247
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:20,683
We usually prefer the ones
who've been locked away in a tower!
248
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,978
- Shrek, please!
- I only did that because I love her.
249
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,939
Oh, aye, day care
or dragon-guarded castle.
250
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,108
You wouldn't understand.
You're not her father!
251
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,117
It's so nice to have the family
together for dinner.
252
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,873
- Harold!
- Shrek!
253
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,957
- Fiona!
- Fiona!
254
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,292
- Mom!
- Harold...
255
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,668
Donkey!
256
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:54,527
J” your fallen tears have called to me j”
257
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:58,447
j” 80, here comes my sweet remedyj”
258
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,994
j” / know what every Princess needs j”
259
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:09,542
j” for her to live life happily j”
260
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,586
Oh, my dear.
261
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:13,963
Oh, look at you.
262
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,840
You're all, um,
263
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,800
grown up.
264
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,719
Um, who are you?
265
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,846
Oh, sweet pea!
266
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,639
I'm your fairy godmother.
267
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,600
I have a fairy godmother?
268
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:31,147
Now don't worry.
I'm here to make it all better.
269
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,525
With just a...
270
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:38,362
J” wave of my magic wand
your troubles will soon be gone j”
271
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,823
j” with a flick of the wrist
and just a flash j”
272
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,200
j” you 7! Land a prince
with a ton of cash j”
273
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,202
j” a high-priced dress
made by mice no less j”
274
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,371
j” some crystal glass pumps
and no more stress j”
275
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,535
j” your worries will vanish
your soul will cleanse j”
276
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,625
j” confide in
your very own furniture friends j”
277
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:54,253
J” we 7! Help you
set a new fashion trend j”
278
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:55,963
J” ill make you fancyj”
279
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,173
j” ill make you great j”
280
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,984
j” the kind of gal the
prince would date! J”
281
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:01,069
j” they'll write your name
on the bathroom wall .. J”
282
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,095
"for a happy ever after,
give Fiona a call!"
283
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:07,183
J” a sporty carriage to ride in style
sexy man-Bo y chauffeur, ”kyle ” j”
284
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:11,103
j” banish your blemishes, tooth decay
cellulite thighs will fade away j”
285
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,606
j” and oh, what the hey!
Have a bichon frisé! J”
286
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,983
J” nip and tuck, here and there j”
287
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,711
j” to land that prince
with the perfect hair j”
288
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:21,030
j” lipstick liners, shadows blush
to get the prince with the sexy tush j”
289
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,615
j” lucky day, hunk bufi'et j”
290
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,176
j” you and your prince
take a roll in the ha yj”
291
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,453
j” you can spoon on the moon
with the prince to this tune j”
292
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,223
j” don't be drab, you ll be fab
your prince will have rock-hard abs j”
293
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,917
j” cheese sou/fie, valentines day
have some chicken fricassée! J”
294
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,186
j” nip and tuck, here and there j”
295
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,562
j” to land that prince
with the perfect hair j”
296
00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,296
stop!
297
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,673
Look...
298
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,301
Thank you very much, fairy godmother,
299
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:45,221
but I really don't need all this.
300
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,076
- Fine. Be that way.
- We didn't like you, anyway.
301
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,646
Fiona? Fiona!
302
00:21:57,358 --> 00:22:00,444
Oh! You got a puppy?
All I got in my room was shampoo.
303
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:01,821
Oh, uh...
304
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,990
Fairy godmother, furniture,
305
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,868
I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.
306
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:11,747
Your husband? What? What did you say?
When did this happen?
307
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,624
Shrek is the one who rescued me.
308
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,209
But that can't be right.
309
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,294
Oh, great, more relatives.
310
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,171
She's just trying to help.
311
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,466
Good! She can help us pack.
Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.
312
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,260
- What?
- Leaving? I don't want to leave.
313
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,719
When did you decide this?
314
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:26,971
Shortly after arriving.
315
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:28,806
Look, I... I'm sorry.
316
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,892
No, no, no, no, that's all right.
Uh, I need to go, anyway.
317
00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:35,437
But remember, dear.
If you should ever need me,
318
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:38,357
happiness is just a teardrop away.
319
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,943
Thanks, but we've got all the happiness
we need.
320
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,903
Happy, happy, happy!
321
00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:44,947
So I see.
322
00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:46,824
Let's go, Kyle.
323
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,328
Very nice, Shrek.
324
00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:54,164
What? I told you
coming here was a bad idea.
325
00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:56,917
You could have at least tried
to get along with my father.
326
00:22:57,001 --> 00:23:01,422
Somehow I don't think I was gonna get
daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.
327
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:04,967
Do you think it might be nice
if somebody asked me what I wanted?
328
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:08,012
Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?
329
00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:10,306
You're unbelievable!
330
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,683
You're behaving like a...
331
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,560
Go on! Say it!
332
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,061
Like an ogre!
333
00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:17,563
Here's a news flash for you!
334
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,916
Whether your parents like it or not,
335
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,525
I am an ogre!
336
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:31,160
And guess what, Princess?
That's not about to change.
337
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:41,128
I've made changes for you, Shrek.
Think about that.
338
00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:45,007
That's real smooth, Shrek.
339
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:49,219
"I'm an ogre!"
340
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:16,455
- I knew this would happen.
- You should. You started it.
341
00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:20,584
I can hardly believe that, Lillian.
I mean, really. He's the ogre, not me.
342
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:24,004
I think, Harold, you're taking this
a little too personally.
343
00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:25,923
This is Fiona's choice.
344
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,802
Yes, but she was supposed to choose
the prince we picked out for her.
345
00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:33,889
I mean, you expect me to give
my blessings to this... this thing?
346
00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:37,559
Fiona does.
And she'll never forgive you if you don't.
347
00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:41,230
I don't want to lose
our daughter again, Harold.
348
00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:45,484
Oh, you act as if love
is totally predictable.
349
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:48,445
Don't you remember when we were young
350
00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,948
and, oh, we used to walk down
by the Lily pond...
351
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,700
And they were in bloom...
352
00:24:52,783 --> 00:24:54,034
Our first kiss.
353
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,245
It's not the same!
354
00:24:56,328 --> 00:25:00,124
I don't think you realize that
our daughter has married a monster!
355
00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,501
Oh, stop being such a drama king.
356
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,503
Fine! Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!
357
00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:06,213
La-di-da-di-da-di-da!
358
00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:09,925
Isn't it all wonderful? I'd like to know
how it could get any worse!
359
00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:11,051
Hello, Harold.
360
00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:12,970
- What happened?
- Oh, n-nothing!
361
00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:17,182
Nothing, dear. Just the old, uh,
crusade wound playing up a bit.
362
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:20,102
I'll, um,
just stretch it out here for a while.
363
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,230
You better get in. We need to talk.
364
00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,983
Actually, fairy godmother,
just off to bed.
365
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:29,319
Already taken my pills,
and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.
366
00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:33,032
So, um, how about...
We... we make this a quick visit. What?
367
00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:35,826
Oh. Oh, h-hello.
368
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:40,330
So, what's new?
369
00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:43,500
You remember my son, prince charming?
370
00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:47,629
Charming! Oh, is that you?
My gosh! It's been years.
371
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,923
I... when... when did you get back?
372
00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:53,052
Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.
373
00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:56,680
After I endured blistering winds,
scorching desert,
374
00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:58,844
I climbed to the highest room
in the tallest tower...
375
00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:01,477
Mommy can handle this.
376
00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:06,356
He endures blistering winds
and scorching desert!
377
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,610
He climbs to the highest bloody room
of the tallest bloody tower!
378
00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,612
- But... but...
- And what does he find?
379
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:15,407
Some gender-confused wolf
telling him that his Princess...
380
00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:17,367
- If I can just...
- Is already married.
381
00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:19,912
It wasn't my fault.
He didn't get there in time.
382
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:21,663
Stop the car!
383
00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:24,833
Harold...
384
00:26:26,168 --> 00:26:30,589
You force me to do something
I really don't want to do.
385
00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:32,633
Where are we?
386
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:35,719
Hi there. Welcome to friar's fat boy.
May I take your order?
387
00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:39,389
My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy.
388
00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:42,810
Uh, okay, two renaissance wraps,
no Mayo, chili rings...
389
00:26:42,893 --> 00:26:44,311
I'll have the medieval meal.
390
00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:47,147
Yeah, one medieval meal
and, Harold, curly fries?
391
00:26:47,231 --> 00:26:49,566
- Uh, no. No, thank you.
- Sourdough soft taco, then?
392
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,330
- What do you want?
- No, really, I'm fine.
393
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,945
Your order, fairy godmother.
394
00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,114
And this comes with the medieval meal.
395
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:56,824
Here you are, dear.
396
00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:01,411
You see, we made a deal, Harold,
397
00:27:01,495 --> 00:27:04,289
and I assume
you don't want me to go back on my part.
398
00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:05,999
Indeed not.
399
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:09,670
So, Fiona and charming will be together.
400
00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:10,753
Yes.
401
00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:13,715
Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best.
402
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:15,717
Not only for your daughter...
403
00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:19,138
But for your kingdom.
404
00:27:24,017 --> 00:27:26,186
Well, what am I supposed to do about it?
405
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:29,356
Use your imagination.
406
00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:09,938
Uh, come on in, your majesty.
407
00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:19,031
J” llike my town j”
408
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:23,869
j” with a little drop of poison j”
409
00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:28,415
j” nobody knows... j”
410
00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:33,253
- Excuse me.
- Hey, do I know you?
411
00:28:33,337 --> 00:28:36,715
Uh, no, you must be mistaking me
for someone else.
412
00:28:36,798 --> 00:28:40,761
Uh, excuse me.
I-I... I'm looking for the ugly stepsister.
413
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,349
Ah, there you are. Right.
414
00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:50,312
Uh, you see, I...
I need to have someone taken care of.
415
00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:54,191
- Who's the guy?
- Well, he... he's not a guy, per se.
416
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,652
Um, he's an ogre.
417
00:28:59,529 --> 00:29:01,573
Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.
418
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,618
There's only one fellow who can handle
a job like that,
419
00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:07,829
and, frankly,
he don't like to be disturbed.
420
00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:09,539
Where could I find him?
421
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:14,211
H-hello?
422
00:29:16,004 --> 00:29:18,090
Who dares enter my room?
423
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:21,760
Sorry! I... I hope I'm not interrupting,
but I'm told you're the one to talk to
424
00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:23,845
about an ogre problem?
425
00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:25,931
You are told correct.
426
00:29:26,014 --> 00:29:29,559
But for this,
I charge a great deal of money.
427
00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:32,437
Would this be enough?
428
00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:44,032
Hmm. You have engaged
my valuable services, your majesty.
429
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:47,369
Just tell me where I can find this ogre.
430
00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:11,435
J” everyone says
I'm getting down too low... j”
431
00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:18,984
J” everyone says
”you just got to let it go ”j”
432
00:30:20,277 --> 00:30:22,821
j” you just got to let it go j”
433
00:30:32,372 --> 00:30:34,166
J” I need some sleep j”
434
00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:38,128
j” time to put the old horse down j”
435
00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:41,798
j” I'm in too deep j”
436
00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:45,677
j” and the wheels keep spinning 'round j”
437
00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:50,098
j” everyone says j”
438
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:52,851
j” ”you just got to let it go ”j”
439
00:30:55,771 --> 00:31:00,275
Dear knight, / pray that you take
this favor as a token of m y gratitude.
440
00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:24,216
Dear diary,
441
00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,885
sleeping beauty is having
a slumber party tomorrow
442
00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:28,512
but dad says / can't go.
443
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,764
He never lets me out after sunset.
444
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,767
Dad says / 'm going away for a while.
445
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:36,645
Must be like some finishing school
or something.
446
00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:39,731
Mom says that when I'm old enough,
447
00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:42,526
my handsome prince charming
will rescue me from my tower
448
00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:44,236
and bring me back to my family.
449
00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:47,781
And we 7! All live happily e ver af'ter.
450
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,077
Mrs. Fiona charming.
451
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:54,913
Mrs. Fiona charming.
452
00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:56,998
Mrs. Fiona charming.
453
00:31:57,082 --> 00:31:59,334
Mrs. Fiona charming. Mrs. Fiona charming.
454
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:02,379
Mrs. Fiona charming. Mrs. Fiona charming...
455
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,023
Charming.
456
00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:11,930
S-Sorry. Uh, I...
I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
457
00:32:12,013 --> 00:32:17,561
No, no, no.
I was just reading a, uh... a scary book.
458
00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:22,732
I was hoping you'd let me apologize
for my despicable behavior earlier.
459
00:32:22,816 --> 00:32:25,569
- Okay?
- I don't know what came over me.
460
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:28,822
Do you suppose we could just pretend
it never happened and start over?
461
00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:30,282
Look, your majesty, I...
462
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:31,783
Please, call me dad.
463
00:32:32,367 --> 00:32:36,496
Dad, we both acted like ogres.
464
00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:39,749
Maybe we just need some time
to get to know each other?
465
00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:40,876
Excellent idea.
466
00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:44,337
I was actually hoping
you mightjoin me for a morning hunt.
467
00:32:44,421 --> 00:32:46,339
Little father-son time?
468
00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:50,635
I know it would mean the world to Fiona.
469
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:03,106
Shall we say, 7:30 by the old oak?
470
00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:11,114
Face it, donkey. We're lost.
471
00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:14,367
We can't be lost. We followed
the king's instructions exactly.
472
00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:16,846
What did he say? "Head to the deepest,
darkest part of the woods."
473
00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:18,455
- Aye.
- "Past the sinister trees
474
00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:20,415
- with those scary-looking branches."
- Check.
475
00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:22,435
Yeah and there's that bush shaped
like Shirley bassey.
476
00:33:22,459 --> 00:33:24,961
We passed that bush three times already!
477
00:33:25,045 --> 00:33:27,648
You were the one who said you didn't
want to stop and get directions.
478
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:32,302
Oh, great. My one chance
to fix things up with Fiona's dad
479
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:34,513
and I end up lost in the woods with you!
480
00:33:34,596 --> 00:33:36,908
You don't have to get all huffy with me,
I'm only trying to help.
481
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:39,017
I know! I know.
482
00:33:41,436 --> 00:33:42,562
I'm sorry, all right?
483
00:33:42,646 --> 00:33:44,606
Hey, don't worry about it.
484
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:47,943
I just really need to make things work
with this guy.
485
00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,403
Yeah, sure. Now, let's go bond with daddy.
486
00:33:58,828 --> 00:34:00,163
Well, well, well, donkey.
487
00:34:00,247 --> 00:34:03,875
I know it was kind of a tender moment
back there, but the purring?
488
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,853
Man, what are you talking about?
I ain't purring.
489
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:08,296
Sure. What's next? A hug?
490
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:10,173
Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr.
491
00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:11,716
What you think I am, some kind of...
492
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,886
Ha-ha! Fear me. If you dare.
493
00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:17,097
Hey, look. A little cat.
494
00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:20,642
- Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!
- It's a cat, donkey.
495
00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:22,644
Come here, little kitty kitty kitty.
496
00:34:22,727 --> 00:34:24,563
Come on, little kitty.
497
00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:28,149
Come here. Come here, little kitty.
498
00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:33,071
- Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming!
- Oh, come on! Oh!
499
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,699
Get it off! Oh, get it off!
500
00:34:38,368 --> 00:34:39,869
No! Oh!
501
00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:43,582
- Hold on, Shrek! Hold still!
- Get it off!
502
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:44,791
Shrek, hold still!
503
00:34:47,127 --> 00:34:48,127
Did I miss?
504
00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:51,089
No, you got them.
505
00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:58,013
Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...
506
00:34:59,431 --> 00:35:01,808
Puss in boots.
507
00:35:01,891 --> 00:35:04,269
I'll kill that cat!
508
00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:20,035
[Gagsi
509
00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:25,540
Hair ball.
510
00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:27,208
Oh, that is nasty.
511
00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:30,253
What do you reckon we should do with him?
512
00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:32,297
I say we take the sword
and neuter him right here.
513
00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:33,691
Give him the Bob barker treatment.
514
00:35:33,715 --> 00:35:35,175
Oh, mother, no. Porfavor
515
00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:38,470
please, I implore you.
It was nothing personal senor.
516
00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:41,222
I was doing it only for my family.
My mother, she's sick.
517
00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:43,725
And my father lives off the garbage.
518
00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:46,811
The king offered me much in gold
and I have a litter of brothers...
519
00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:48,855
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
520
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:51,691
Fiona's father paid you to do this?
521
00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:53,109
The rich king? Si'.
522
00:35:56,946 --> 00:36:00,116
Well, so much for dad's royal blessing.
523
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:01,951
Oh, come on, Shrek. Don't feel bad.
524
00:36:02,035 --> 00:36:04,037
Almost everybody that meets you
wants to kill you.
525
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,246
Gee, thanks.
526
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:12,587
Maybe Fiona would've been better off
if I were some sort of prince charming.
527
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,506
Si! That's what the king said.
528
00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:19,260
Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question
was directed at me.
529
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,348
Shrek, Fiona knows
you'll do anything for her.
530
00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:26,142
Well, it's not like I wouldn't change
if I could.
531
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:30,730
I just...
I just wish I could make her happy.
532
00:36:33,108 --> 00:36:34,275
Hold the phone.
533
00:36:36,403 --> 00:36:37,487
Happiness.
534
00:36:38,488 --> 00:36:40,699
A tear drop away.
535
00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:45,036
Donkey, think of the saddest thing
that's ever happened to you.
536
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,664
Oh, man, where do I begin?
537
00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:50,787
First, it was the time that old farmer
tried to sell me for some magic beans.
538
00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:52,127
I ain't never got over that.
539
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,770
Then this fool went off and had a party
540
00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:56,005
and he have all the guests trying
to pin a tail on me.
541
00:36:56,089 --> 00:36:58,651
Then they all got drunk and started
beating me with a stick going,
542
00:36:58,675 --> 00:37:00,135
"pinata! Pinata!"
543
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,511
What is a pinata, anyway?
544
00:37:01,594 --> 00:37:04,055
No, donkey! I need you to cry!
545
00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:05,765
Yeah, well, don't go projecting on me.
546
00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:08,009
I know you're feeling bad
but you gotta let your own...
547
00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:13,231
You little, hairy,
litter-licking sack of...
548
00:37:20,697 --> 00:37:23,825
What? Is it on? Is it on?
549
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,660
This is fairy godmother.
550
00:37:25,744 --> 00:37:28,079
I'm either away from my desk
or with a client.
551
00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:32,667
But if you come by the ofi'ice, we 7! Be
glad to make you a personal appointment.
552
00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:34,335
Ha ve a ”happ y ever after. ”
553
00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:41,009
Are you up for a little quest, donkey?
554
00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:42,332
All right! That's more like it!
555
00:37:42,385 --> 00:37:44,721
Shrek and donkey,
on another whirlwind adventure!
556
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:47,140
J” ain't no stoppin' us now j”
557
00:37:47,223 --> 00:37:49,601
- j” whoo! We 're on the move! J”
-Stop, ogre!
558
00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:52,896
- I have misjudged you.
- Join the club. We've got jackets.
559
00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:56,983
On my honor, I am obliged to accompany
you until I have saved your life
560
00:37:57,066 --> 00:37:58,318
as you have spared me mine.
561
00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:02,238
I'm sorry, the position of annoying
talking animal has already been taken.
562
00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:03,615
Let's go, Shrek.
563
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,240
Shrek?
564
00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:17,462
- Shrek!
- Oh, come on, donkey. Look at him
565
00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:19,506
in his wee little boots.
566
00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:21,841
You know, how many cats can wear boots?
567
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:22,926
Honestly?
568
00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:24,886
- Aw, let's keep him.
- Say what?
569
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,433
Aw, listen, he's purring.
570
00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:33,603
- Oh, so now it's cute?
- Aw, come on, donkey. Lighten up.
571
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:37,232
Lighten up? Oh, I should lighten up?
Look who's telling who to lighten up!
572
00:38:40,902 --> 00:38:41,903
Shrek.
573
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,159
Shrek?
574
00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:01,381
Well, they're both festive, aren't they?
575
00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:03,132
What do you think, Harold?
576
00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:05,927
Um, yes, yes. Fine. Fine.
577
00:39:07,595 --> 00:39:11,599
Try to at least pretend you're interested
in your daughter's wedding ball.
578
00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:13,977
Honestly, Lillian,
I don't think it really matters.
579
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:16,271
How do we know
there's even going to be a ball?
580
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,189
Mom! Dad!
581
00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:21,985
- Oh, hello, dear.
- Um, what's that, Cedric? Right! Coming.
582
00:39:22,068 --> 00:39:24,737
Mom, have you seen Shrek?
583
00:39:24,821 --> 00:39:27,615
I haven't. You should ask your father.
584
00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:32,161
Be sure and use small words, dear.
He's a little slow this morning.
585
00:39:32,245 --> 00:39:35,123
- Can I help you, your majesty?
- Ah, yes! Um...
586
00:39:35,832 --> 00:39:38,626
Hmm. Exquisite.
What do you call this dish?
587
00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:41,796
That would be the dog's breakfast,
your majesty.
588
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,382
Ah, yes. Very good, then.
589
00:39:44,465 --> 00:39:46,634
- Carry on, Cedric.
- Dad?
590
00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:49,012
- Dad? Have you seen Shrek?
- Uh, no, I haven't, dear.
591
00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:53,725
I... I'm sure he just went off to look
for a nice mud hole to cool down in.
592
00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:55,894
You know,
after your little spat last night.
593
00:39:55,977 --> 00:39:58,146
Oh. You heard that, huh?
594
00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,709
Darling, the whole kingdom heard you.
595
00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:04,777
I mean, after all it is in his nature
to be, well, a bit of a brute.
596
00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:08,656
Him? You know, you didn't exactly
roll out the welcome wagon.
597
00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:12,118
Well, what did you expect?
I mean, look at what he's done to you.
598
00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:15,204
Shrek loves me for who I am.
599
00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:18,625
I would think you'd be happy for me.
600
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:22,253
Darling, I'm just thinking about
what's best for you.
601
00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:24,923
Maybe you should do the same.
602
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,189
- No, really?
- Mm-hmm.
603
00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:44,609
Shh, shh, shh...
604
00:40:46,903 --> 00:40:48,071
Whoa.
605
00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:55,995
Oh, no. That's the old keebler's place.
Let's just back away slowly.
606
00:40:56,079 --> 00:40:57,830
That's the fairy godmother's cottage.
607
00:40:57,914 --> 00:41:01,417
She's the largest producer of hexes
and potions in the whole kingdom.
608
00:41:01,501 --> 00:41:04,212
Then why don't we pop in there
for a spell?
609
00:41:04,295 --> 00:41:06,923
Spell.
610
00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:12,053
He makes me laugh.
611
00:41:14,097 --> 00:41:16,307
Oh.
612
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:19,811
Hi. I'm here to see the...
613
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:23,022
The fairy godmother.
I'm sorry. She is not in.
614
00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:26,025
Jerome! Cofi'ee and a monte cristo. Now!
615
00:41:27,443 --> 00:41:30,530
Yes, fairy godmother. Right away.
616
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:33,366
Look, she's not seeing
any client today, okay?
617
00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,618
That's okay, buddy. We're from the union.
618
00:41:35,702 --> 00:41:36,703
The union?
619
00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:41,165
We represent the workers in all magical
industries, both evil and benign.
620
00:41:41,249 --> 00:41:43,001
Oh! Oh, right.
621
00:41:43,084 --> 00:41:46,129
Are you feeling
at all degraded or oppressed?
622
00:41:46,212 --> 00:41:48,131
Uh, a little.
623
00:41:48,214 --> 00:41:49,882
We... we don't even have dental.
624
00:41:49,966 --> 00:41:51,467
They don't even have dental.
625
00:41:52,135 --> 00:41:54,220
Okay. We're just gonna have a look around.
626
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:55,430
Oh, by the way,
627
00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:58,808
I think it'd be better if the
fairy godmother didn't know we were here.
628
00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:02,145
- Know what I'm saying? Huh? Huh?
- Huh? Huh? Huh?
629
00:42:02,228 --> 00:42:05,148
- Stop it.
- Of course. Go right in.
630
00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:36,846
A drop of desire.
631
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,098
Naughty.
632
00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:42,435
A pinch of passion.
633
00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:51,611
And just a hint of lust.
634
00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:56,991
- Excuse me.
- [Gasps}
635
00:42:57,075 --> 00:42:58,785
sorry to barge in like this but...
636
00:42:58,868 --> 00:43:01,496
What in grimm's name are you doing here?
637
00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:03,081
Well...
638
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:07,043
It seems that Fiona's not exactly happy.
639
00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:11,047
And there's some question
as to why that is?
640
00:43:12,048 --> 00:43:14,092
Well, let's explore that, shall we?
641
00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:19,764
Ah. P. P. P. P. Princess. Cinderella.
642
00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:21,933
Here we are. "Lived happily ever after."
643
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:23,309
Oh!
644
00:43:23,392 --> 00:43:24,811
No ogres.
645
00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:26,938
Let's see. Snow white.
646
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:30,650
A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres.
647
00:43:30,733 --> 00:43:32,985
Sleeping beauty. Ooh, no ogres.
648
00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:36,197
Hansel and gretel? No. Thumbelina? No.
649
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,242
The golden bird,
the little mermaid, pretty woman.
650
00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:42,245
No, no, no, no, no!
651
00:43:42,328 --> 00:43:46,457
You see,
ogres don't live happily ever after.
652
00:43:46,541 --> 00:43:47,667
All right, look, lady!
653
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:51,879
Don't you point
those dirty green sausages at me!
654
00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:56,717
Your monte cristo and coffee. Oh, sorry.
655
00:43:56,801 --> 00:44:00,513
Ah! That's okay. We were just leaving.
656
00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:03,975
Very sorry to have wasted your time,
miss godmother.
657
00:44:04,058 --> 00:44:05,852
Just go.
658
00:44:05,935 --> 00:44:07,186
Come on, guys.
659
00:44:23,119 --> 00:44:24,871
Tgif, eh, buddy?
660
00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:29,792
Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac?
661
00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:39,177
Oh!
662
00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:42,072
Hey, man. You wanna get your fine
corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks
663
00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:43,890
out of my face? Man, that stinks!
664
00:44:43,973 --> 00:44:47,768
Well, you don't exactly smell
like a basket of roses.
665
00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:55,359
- Well, one of these has got to help.
- I was just concocting this very plan.
666
00:44:55,443 --> 00:44:58,029
Already our minds are becoming one.
667
00:44:58,112 --> 00:44:59,822
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there.
668
00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:03,034
Listen, if we need an expert on
licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.
669
00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:05,203
Shrek, this is a bad idea.
670
00:45:05,286 --> 00:45:08,748
Look. Make yourself useful
and go keep watch.
671
00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:11,417
Puss, do you think you
could get to those on top?
672
00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:13,002
No prob/ema, boss.
673
00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:17,381
In one of my nine lives I was the great
cat burglar of Santiago de compostela.
674
00:45:18,466 --> 00:45:20,134
Shrek, are you off your nut?
675
00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:21,802
Donkey, keep watch.
676
00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,721
Keep watch? Yeah. I'm gonna keep watch.
677
00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:26,658
I'll watch that wicked witch come
down here and whammy zammy a world of hurt
678
00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:27,725
all up your backside.
679
00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:30,686
I'm gonna laugh too. If she do,
I'm gonna be giggling to myself.
680
00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:33,564
- What do you see?
- Toadstool softener?
681
00:45:33,648 --> 00:45:36,317
Oh, yeah, you're right.
I'm sure a nice bm is the perfect solution
682
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,693
for marital problems.
683
00:45:37,777 --> 00:45:39,695
- "Elfa seltzer"?
- Uh-uh.
684
00:45:39,779 --> 00:45:40,613
"Hex lax"?
685
00:45:40,696 --> 00:45:43,199
No! Try "handsome".
686
00:45:44,533 --> 00:45:45,952
Sorry. No handsome.
687
00:45:47,161 --> 00:45:49,997
Hey! How about "happily ever after"?
688
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:52,166
Well, what does it do?
689
00:45:52,959 --> 00:45:55,628
It says “beauty divine."
690
00:45:55,711 --> 00:45:59,048
You know, in some cultures, donkeys
are revered as the wisest of creatures.
691
00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:00,716
Especially us talking ones.
692
00:46:01,467 --> 00:46:02,802
Donkey!
693
00:46:04,804 --> 00:46:06,389
That'll have to do. We've got company.
694
00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,189
Can we get on with this?
695
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:19,318
Hurry!
696
00:46:26,993 --> 00:46:28,661
Whoa!
697
00:46:28,744 --> 00:46:30,162
Nice catch, donkey!
698
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,540
Finally! A good use for your mouth.
699
00:46:36,919 --> 00:46:37,920
Come on!
700
00:46:44,093 --> 00:46:46,679
J” you spurn my natural emotions j”
701
00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:50,099
j” you make me feel like dirt
and I'm hun'... j”
702
00:46:54,895 --> 00:46:57,273
J” and if / start a commotion j”
703
00:46:57,356 --> 00:47:01,277
j” lrun the risk of losing you
and that's worse... j”
704
00:47:04,822 --> 00:47:07,450
J” ever fallen in love with someone j”
705
00:47:07,533 --> 00:47:11,037
j” ever fallen in lo ve
in love with someone, ever fallen in j”
706
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,290
j” in love with someone you
shouldn't 't've fallen in love with... j”
707
00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:23,215
J” ever fallen in love with someone j”
708
00:47:23,299 --> 00:47:27,136
j” ever fallen in love
in love with someone, ever fallen in... j”
709
00:47:31,307 --> 00:47:32,850
J” fallen in love with... j”
710
00:47:34,435 --> 00:47:39,398
J” ever fallen in love with someone
you shouldn't 't've fallen in love with j”
711
00:47:39,482 --> 00:47:43,694
look, I don't care whose fault it is.
Just get this place cleaned up!
712
00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:44,779
Yes, godmother.
713
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:49,367
And somebody bring me something
deep fried and smothered in chocolate.
714
00:47:50,368 --> 00:47:51,494
Mother!
715
00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:53,954
Charming. Sweetheart.
716
00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:57,124
Oh, this isn't a good time, pumpkin.
Mama's working.
717
00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,834
Whoa. What happened here?
718
00:47:58,918 --> 00:48:00,795
The ogre, that's what.
719
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,505
What? Where is he, mom?
720
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:05,549
I shall rend his head from his shoulders.
721
00:48:05,633 --> 00:48:07,927
I will smite him where he stands.
722
00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:12,014
He will rue the very day he stole
my kingdom from me!
723
00:48:12,848 --> 00:48:16,060
Oh, put it away, junior!
You're still gonna be king.
724
00:48:16,685 --> 00:48:19,365
We're just gonna have to come up
with something smarter. That's all.
725
00:48:19,438 --> 00:48:21,065
Pardon? Um...
726
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:25,528
Everything is accounted for,
fairy godmother, except for one potion.
727
00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:26,612
What?
728
00:48:29,698 --> 00:48:32,535
I do believe we can make
this work to our advantage.
729
00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:38,165
"Happily ever after potion.
Maximum strength.
730
00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:40,876
For you and your true love.
731
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,879
If one of you drinks this,
you both will be fine.
732
00:48:43,963 --> 00:48:46,549
Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."
733
00:48:46,632 --> 00:48:50,302
- You both will be fine?
- I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too.
734
00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:55,015
Hey, man. This don't feel right.
My donkey senses are tingling all over.
735
00:48:55,099 --> 00:48:58,060
So why don't you just drop that
jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here?
736
00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:01,355
It says, "beauty divine."
How bad can it be?
737
00:49:03,315 --> 00:49:06,777
Aha, see, you're allergic to that stuff.
You're gonna have a reaction.
738
00:49:06,861 --> 00:49:09,947
And if you think that I'm gonna be
smearing vapor rub all over your chest,
739
00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:11,115
think again!
740
00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:14,368
Boss, just in case there is something
wrong with the potion,
741
00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:16,370
allow me to take the first sip.
742
00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:19,290
It would be an honor to lay my life
on the line for you.
743
00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:21,000
Oh, no, no, no, no.
744
00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:24,712
I don't think so. If there's gonna be
any animal testing, I'm gonna do it.
745
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,798
That's the best friend's job.
Now give me that bottle.
746
00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:34,889
How do you feel?
747
00:49:35,848 --> 00:49:39,185
I don't feel any different.
I look any different?
748
00:49:39,268 --> 00:49:40,853
You still look like an ass to me.
749
00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:44,148
Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.
750
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:48,903
Well, here's to us, Fiona.
751
00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:52,239
Shrek, you drink that,
there's no going back.
752
00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:53,199
I know.
753
00:49:53,282 --> 00:49:55,451
- But no more wallowing in the mud?
- I know.
754
00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:57,134
- And no more itchy butt crack?
- I know!
755
00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:59,163
- But you love being an ogre!
- I know!
756
00:50:03,209 --> 00:50:04,543
But I love Fiona more.
757
00:50:06,545 --> 00:50:08,255
Shrek, no! Wait!
758
00:50:21,060 --> 00:50:22,603
Whoo, cold. Got to be.
759
00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:25,648
Shrek I think you grabbed
the "farty ever after" potion.
760
00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:26,732
Maybe it's a dud.
761
00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:30,277
Or maybe Fiona and I
were never meant to be.
762
00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:37,743
Uh-oh. What did I tell you?
I think I feel something coming on.
763
00:50:37,826 --> 00:50:40,412
I don't want to die. I don't want to die.
764
00:50:40,496 --> 00:50:41,705
I don't want to die!
765
00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:44,542
Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy.
I'm melting!
766
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:46,710
I'm melting!
767
00:50:46,794 --> 00:50:48,712
It's just the rain, donkey.
768
00:50:50,339 --> 00:50:52,007
Oh.
769
00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:37,011
Oh, Shrek, don't worry. Things just
seem bad because it's dark and rainy,
770
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:39,471
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hit man
to whack you.
771
00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:42,933
It'll be better in the morning.
You'll see.
772
00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:46,228
J” the sun will come out j”
773
00:51:47,146 --> 00:51:48,772
j” tomorrowj”
774
00:51:49,648 --> 00:51:51,358
j” bet your bottom... j”
775
00:51:51,442 --> 00:51:53,235
"bet my bottom?"
776
00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:55,112
I'm coming, Elizabeth!
777
00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:58,365
Donkey? Are... are you all right?
778
00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:01,493
Hey, boss. Let's shave him.
779
00:52:01,577 --> 00:52:03,037
Don... donkey...
780
00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:14,465
There you are! We missed you at dinner.
781
00:52:15,591 --> 00:52:17,009
What is it, darling?
782
00:52:17,092 --> 00:52:20,512
Dad, I've been thinking
about what you said.
783
00:52:22,181 --> 00:52:24,016
And I'm gonna set things right.
784
00:52:24,099 --> 00:52:26,602
Ah, excellent! That's my girl.
785
00:52:26,685 --> 00:52:28,646
It was a mistake to bring Shrek here.
786
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,315
I'm gonna go out and find him.
787
00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:35,361
And then we're gonna go back
to the swamp where we belong.
788
00:52:38,864 --> 00:52:40,324
Fiona, please!
789
00:52:40,407 --> 00:52:44,078
Uh, let's not be rash, darling.
You can't go anywhere right now.
790
00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:47,581
- Fiona!
- Fiona!
791
00:53:27,663 --> 00:53:29,289
Look, I told you he was here.
792
00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:32,751
Look at him! Shh!
Quiet. Look at him.
793
00:53:35,087 --> 00:53:36,547
Good morning, sleepyhead.
794
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:39,258
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
795
00:53:39,341 --> 00:53:40,426
We love your kitty.
796
00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:42,344
My head.
797
00:53:42,428 --> 00:53:45,889
- Here, I fetched you a pail of water.
- Thanks.
798
00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:52,354
Whoa.
799
00:53:54,273 --> 00:53:56,275
A cute button nose?
800
00:53:56,942 --> 00:53:58,944
Thick, wavy locks?
801
00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:01,989
Taut, round buttocks?
802
00:54:02,656 --> 00:54:04,408
I'm... I m-...
803
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:05,826
- Gorgeous.
- I'll say.
804
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:07,286
I'm Jill. What's your name?
805
00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:08,620
Um, Shrek.
806
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:12,040
- Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe?
- Uh...
807
00:54:12,124 --> 00:54:13,977
- You're so tense.
- I want to rub his shoulders.
808
00:54:14,001 --> 00:54:16,312
- I got it covered, thanks.
- I don't have anything to rub.
809
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:17,921
Well, get in line.
810
00:54:18,005 --> 00:54:19,965
Have... have you ladies seen my donkey?
811
00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:21,488
Who are you calling donkey?
812
00:54:23,302 --> 00:54:26,430
- Donkey? You're a...
- A stallion, baby!
813
00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:28,265
I can whinny.
814
00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:29,349
I can count.
815
00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:33,103
Look at me, Shrek. I'm trotting.
816
00:54:33,854 --> 00:54:36,774
That's some quality potion.
What's in that stuff?
817
00:54:36,857 --> 00:54:40,110
"Oh, don't take
the potion, Mr. Boss. It's very bad."
818
00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:43,280
"Warning: Side effects may include
819
00:54:43,363 --> 00:54:45,824
burning, itching, oozing, weeping.
820
00:54:45,908 --> 00:54:49,495
Not intended for heart patients
or those with nervous disorders."
821
00:54:49,578 --> 00:54:52,664
J” I'm trotting, I'm trotting
I'm trotting in place! Yeah! J”
822
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:55,793
what?
823
00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:59,087
Senor, "to make the effects
of this potion permanent,
824
00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:03,258
the drinker must obtain
his true love's kiss by midnight."
825
00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:06,094
Midnight? Why is it always midnight?
826
00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:08,639
- Pick me! I'll be your true love!
- I'll be your true love.
827
00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:10,849
I'll be true... enough.
828
00:55:10,933 --> 00:55:14,645
Look, ladies,
I already have a true love.
829
00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:15,854
Aw.
830
00:55:15,938 --> 00:55:20,067
And take it from me, boss. You are
going to have one satisfied Princess.
831
00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:23,362
And let's face it,
you are a lot easier on the eyes,
832
00:55:23,445 --> 00:55:25,864
but inside you're still the same
old mean, salty...
833
00:55:25,948 --> 00:55:27,950
- Easy. All right.
- Cantankerous, stanky, foul,
834
00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:29,827
angry ogre you always been.
835
00:55:29,910 --> 00:55:32,079
And you're still the same annoying donkey.
836
00:55:32,162 --> 00:55:33,162
Yeah.
837
00:55:35,499 --> 00:55:36,499
Well,
838
00:55:37,084 --> 00:55:40,212
look out, Princess. Here comes the new me.
839
00:55:41,713 --> 00:55:44,341
Uh, first things first.
We need to get you out of those clothes.
840
00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:50,639
- Ready?
- Ready.
841
00:55:54,935 --> 00:55:56,812
Driver, stop!
842
00:55:56,895 --> 00:56:00,023
Oh, god! Help me, please!
My racing days are over!
843
00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:03,610
I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever
be able to play the violin again?
844
00:56:03,694 --> 00:56:07,698
Oh, you poor creature.
Is there anything I can do for you?
845
00:56:08,448 --> 00:56:10,242
Well, I guess there is one thing.
846
00:56:10,325 --> 00:56:13,036
Take off the powdered wig
and step away from your drawers.
847
00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:19,376
- Not bad.
- Not bad at all.
848
00:56:27,426 --> 00:56:30,470
Father? Is everything all right, father?
849
00:56:35,976 --> 00:56:39,897
Thank you, gentlemen.
Someday, I will repay you.
850
00:56:39,980 --> 00:56:42,983
Unless, of course,
I can't find you or if I forget.
851
00:56:50,991 --> 00:56:52,200
J” oh, yeah j”
852
00:57:00,542 --> 00:57:02,294
J” ch-ch-ch-ch-changes j”
853
00:57:02,377 --> 00:57:06,798
-j” turn and face the strange j”
-j” ch-ch-changes j”
854
00:57:06,882 --> 00:57:10,010
j” don't want to be a richer one j”
855
00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:12,387
j” ch-ch-ch-ch-changes... j”
856
00:57:16,391 --> 00:57:19,311
J” just gonna have
to be a difi'erent man j”
857
00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:21,730
j” time may change me j”
858
00:57:22,314 --> 00:57:24,942
j” but / can't trace time j”
859
00:57:27,235 --> 00:57:28,403
halt!
860
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:32,449
Tell Princess Fiona her husband,
sir Shrek, is here to see her.
861
00:57:36,745 --> 00:57:40,248
J” still don't know
what! Was looking for... j”
862
00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:48,507
J” every time / thought I'd got it made j”
863
00:57:48,590 --> 00:57:51,885
j” it seemed the taste
was not so sweet... j”
864
00:57:54,096 --> 00:57:54,972
Fiona!
865
00:57:55,055 --> 00:57:56,056
Shrek?
866
00:57:59,810 --> 00:58:00,811
Shrek!
867
00:58:06,191 --> 00:58:07,191
Fiona.
868
00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:12,322
Hello, handsome.
869
00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:15,157
Shrek!
870
00:58:15,742 --> 00:58:17,536
- Princess!
- [Gasps}
871
00:58:17,619 --> 00:58:20,372
- donkey?
- Wow! That potion worked on you, too, huh?
872
00:58:20,455 --> 00:58:23,333
- W-What potion?
- It's kind of a long story,
873
00:58:23,417 --> 00:58:28,005
but Shrek and I took some magic potion,
and, well, now, we're sexy!
874
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:31,758
Shrek?
875
00:58:34,636 --> 00:58:37,305
For you, baby, I could be.
876
00:58:37,389 --> 00:58:39,766
- Yeah, you wish.
- Donkey, where is Shrek?
877
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,518
He just went inside looking for you.
878
00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:45,188
Shrek!
879
00:58:45,897 --> 00:58:47,149
Fiona!
880
00:58:47,232 --> 00:58:48,775
Fiona!
881
00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:52,279
You wanna dance, pretty boy?
882
00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:59,077
Are you going so soon?
Don't you want to see your wife?
883
00:59:00,495 --> 00:59:01,705
- Fiona.
- [Gasps}
884
00:59:03,957 --> 00:59:05,125
Shrek?
885
00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:08,045
Aye, Fiona. It is me.
886
00:59:08,128 --> 00:59:09,796
What happened to your voice?
887
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:13,300
Uh, the potion changed
a lot of things, Fiona,
888
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:16,303
but not the way I feel about you.
889
00:59:16,803 --> 00:59:17,804
Fiona?
890
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:22,642
- Charming?
- Uh, do you think so?
891
00:59:22,726 --> 00:59:25,896
Dad, I was so hoping you'd approve.
892
00:59:25,979 --> 00:59:27,773
Um, who are you?
893
00:59:27,856 --> 00:59:29,733
Mom, it's me, Shrek.
894
00:59:29,816 --> 00:59:33,403
I know you never get a second chance
at a first impression
895
00:59:33,487 --> 00:59:35,655
but, well, what do you think?
896
00:59:40,077 --> 00:59:42,537
Fiona! Fiona!
897
00:59:43,205 --> 00:59:44,247
Fiona!
898
00:59:44,331 --> 00:59:45,999
Fiona!
899
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:48,919
- Fiona!
- "Fiona! Fiona!"
900
00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:51,296
Oh, shoot!
901
00:59:51,379 --> 00:59:53,715
I don't think they can hear us, pigeon.
902
00:59:56,551 --> 00:59:59,930
Don't you think
you've already messed her life up enough?
903
01:00:00,514 --> 01:00:02,682
I just wanted her to be happy.
904
01:00:02,766 --> 01:00:04,518
And now she can be.
905
01:00:05,185 --> 01:00:07,479
Oh, sweetheart.
906
01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:11,024
She's finally found
the prince of her dreams.
907
01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:12,317
But look at me.
908
01:00:13,318 --> 01:00:15,153
Look what I've done for her.
909
01:00:15,237 --> 01:00:18,615
It's time you stop living
in a fairy tale, Shrek.
910
01:00:18,698 --> 01:00:22,744
She's a Princess, and you're an ogre.
911
01:00:23,370 --> 01:00:26,790
That's something no amount of potion
is ever going to change.
912
01:00:34,589 --> 01:00:35,590
But...
913
01:00:36,341 --> 01:00:37,759
I love her.
914
01:00:37,843 --> 01:00:39,594
If you really love her,
915
01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,639
you'll let her go.
916
01:00:47,894 --> 01:00:50,021
- Shrek?
- Sefior
917
01:00:50,105 --> 01:00:52,858
hey, what's going on? Where you going?
918
01:00:59,322 --> 01:01:03,243
You wouldn't have had anything
to do with this, would you, Harold?
919
01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:11,793
J” people just ain't no good j”
920
01:01:14,588 --> 01:01:18,216
j” / think that's well understood... j”
921
01:01:18,300 --> 01:01:19,885
there you go, boys.
922
01:01:19,968 --> 01:01:21,761
Just leave the bottle, Doris.
923
01:01:21,845 --> 01:01:24,181
Hey, why the long face?
924
01:01:25,473 --> 01:01:27,809
It was all just a stupid mistake.
925
01:01:28,977 --> 01:01:32,564
I never should have rescued her
from that tower in the first place.
926
01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:36,735
I hate mondays.
927
01:01:36,818 --> 01:01:40,572
I can't believe you're gonna walk away
from the best thing that happened to you.
928
01:01:40,655 --> 01:01:42,282
What choice do I have?
929
01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:45,785
She loves that pretty boy,
prince charming.
930
01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:48,079
Oh, come on now.
Is he really that good-looking?
931
01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:50,457
Are you kidding? He's gorgeous.
932
01:01:50,540 --> 01:01:53,627
He has a face that looks
like it was carved by angels.
933
01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:55,795
Mmm. He sounds dreamy.
934
01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:59,716
You know, shockingly,
this isn't making me feel any better.
935
01:02:02,761 --> 01:02:05,764
Look, guys, it's for the best.
936
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:10,435
Mom and dad approve, and Fiona
gets the man she's always dreamed of.
937
01:02:11,519 --> 01:02:12,771
Everybody wins.
938
01:02:14,439 --> 01:02:15,649
Except for you.
939
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:19,027
I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.
940
01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:23,740
And that's why I have to let her go.
941
01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,825
Um... Excuse me...
942
01:02:26,534 --> 01:02:28,036
Is... is she here?
943
01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:30,121
She's, uh, in the back.
944
01:02:31,456 --> 01:02:33,375
Oh, hello again.
945
01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:39,589
Uh, fairy godmother. Charming.
946
01:02:39,673 --> 01:02:43,718
You better have a good reason
for dragging us down here, Harold.
947
01:02:43,802 --> 01:02:49,391
Well, uh... I'm afraid Fiona isn't really
warming up to prince charming.
948
01:02:49,474 --> 01:02:51,851
Um, fyi, not my fault.
949
01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:53,603
No, no, of course it's not, dear.
950
01:02:53,687 --> 01:02:57,899
I mean, how charming can I be when
I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre?
951
01:02:57,983 --> 01:02:59,651
No! No, it's nobody's fault.
952
01:02:59,734 --> 01:03:03,405
Um, perhaps it's best
if we just call the whole thing off. Okay?
953
01:03:03,488 --> 01:03:04,406
What?
954
01:03:04,489 --> 01:03:07,367
You can't force someone to fall in love.
955
01:03:07,450 --> 01:03:09,202
I beg to differ.
956
01:03:09,286 --> 01:03:11,121
I do it all the time.
957
01:03:11,204 --> 01:03:14,291
Have Fiona drink this,
and she'll fall in love
958
01:03:14,374 --> 01:03:17,627
with the first man she kisses,
which will be charming.
959
01:03:18,962 --> 01:03:21,798
- Uh... no.
- What did you say?
960
01:03:21,881 --> 01:03:24,426
I... I can't. I... I won't do it.
961
01:03:24,509 --> 01:03:26,011
Oh, yes, you will.
962
01:03:26,094 --> 01:03:29,597
If you remember,
I helped you with your happily ever after,
963
01:03:29,681 --> 01:03:33,226
and I can take it away just as easily.
964
01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:35,395
Is that what you want?
965
01:03:35,478 --> 01:03:36,479
Is it?
966
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:40,025
- N... no.
- Good boy.
967
01:03:40,108 --> 01:03:43,987
Now, we have to go. I need to do
charming's hair before the ball.
968
01:03:44,070 --> 01:03:46,656
He's hopeless.
You know, he's all high in the front.
969
01:03:46,740 --> 01:03:49,576
He can never get to the back.
You always need someone to do the back.
970
01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:52,203
- Oh, thank you, mother.
- Mother?
971
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:56,249
Uh, Mary! A talking horse!
972
01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:57,375
The ogre!
973
01:03:59,252 --> 01:04:00,420
Stop them!
974
01:04:00,503 --> 01:04:02,172
Thieves! Bandits!
975
01:04:02,255 --> 01:04:03,798
Stop them!
976
01:04:04,883 --> 01:04:08,011
Well, the abs are fab
and it's gluteus to the Maximus
977
01:04:08,094 --> 01:04:11,639
here at tonight's
far, far away royal ball blowout!
978
01:04:11,723 --> 01:04:14,517
The coaches are lined up
as the cream of the crop pours out of them
979
01:04:14,601 --> 01:04:16,478
like miss muffet's curds and whey.
980
01:04:16,561 --> 01:04:20,732
Everyone who's anyone has turned out to
honor Princess Fiona and prince Shrek.
981
01:04:20,815 --> 01:04:24,152
And, oh, my, the outfits look gorgeous!
982
01:04:24,235 --> 01:04:25,445
Look! Hansel and gretel!
983
01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:28,281
What the heck are the crumbs for?
984
01:04:28,365 --> 01:04:31,326
And right behind them,
Tom thumb and thumbelina!
985
01:04:31,409 --> 01:04:32,827
Oh, aren't they adorable?
986
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,079
Whoa!
987
01:04:34,162 --> 01:04:37,374
Here comes sleeping beauty! Oh!
988
01:04:37,457 --> 01:04:39,209
Tired old thing.
989
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:42,837
Who's this? Who's this? Who is this?
990
01:04:42,921 --> 01:04:46,257
Oh! It's the one, it's the only,
991
01:04:46,341 --> 01:04:48,927
it's the fairy godmother!
992
01:04:49,010 --> 01:04:53,390
Hello, far, far away!
993
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:55,225
Can I get a, "whoop, whoop"?
994
01:04:55,308 --> 01:04:56,768
Whoop, whoop!
995
01:04:56,851 --> 01:05:00,313
May all your endings be happy and...
996
01:05:00,397 --> 01:05:02,357
Well, you know the rest!
997
01:05:03,441 --> 01:05:06,611
We 7! Be right back
with the royal far, fara way ball
998
01:05:06,694 --> 01:05:07,779
after these messages.
999
01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:10,156
I hate these ball shows.
1000
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:13,326
They bore me to tears.
Flip over to wheel of torture.
1001
01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:16,996
I'm not flipping anywhere, sir,
until I see Shrek and Fiona.
1002
01:05:17,622 --> 01:05:19,833
Ah, whizzes on you guys.
1003
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,001
Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing!
1004
01:05:22,085 --> 01:05:24,254
No, no, to your left. Your left!
1005
01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:30,510
- Tonight on knights...
- Ah! Now here's a good show!
1006
01:05:30,593 --> 01:05:34,055
We got a white bronco heading
east into the forest. Requesting backup.
1007
01:05:34,139 --> 01:05:36,826
Ltis time for the men in steel
to teach these madcap mammals
1008
01:05:36,850 --> 01:05:38,935
their ”de vi/ may mare ” attitudes
just won't fly.
1009
01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:41,271
All right, all n'ght! Let me go!
1010
01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:44,065
Why you grabbing me? Ow!
Police brutality! Police brutality!
1011
01:05:44,149 --> 01:05:45,400
Come on!
1012
01:05:45,483 --> 01:05:48,278
- I have to talk to Princess Fiona!
- We warned you.
1013
01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:49,487
Ow! Ow!
1014
01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:52,466
Will they get away with it
or did someone let the cat out of the bag?
1015
01:05:52,490 --> 01:05:55,326
You, capitalist pig dogs!
1016
01:05:55,994 --> 01:05:58,329
Get it off/
1017
01:05:59,414 --> 01:06:01,207
- Catnip.
- That's, uh, not mine.
1018
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:02,667
Hold on, all right?
1019
01:06:02,750 --> 01:06:05,170
- Find Princess Fiona!
- Come on, guy.
1020
01:06:05,253 --> 01:06:06,254
I'm a donkey!
1021
01:06:06,337 --> 01:06:08,506
Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek!
1022
01:06:08,590 --> 01:06:10,049
- Ow, ow!
- Knights.
1023
01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:11,551
Quick! Rewind it!
1024
01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:15,180
Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow, ow!
1025
01:06:43,124 --> 01:06:44,124
Darling?
1026
01:06:45,084 --> 01:06:47,253
Ah, I thought I might find you here.
1027
01:06:47,337 --> 01:06:50,381
How about a nice, hot cup of tea
before the ball?
1028
01:06:51,966 --> 01:06:53,009
I'm not going.
1029
01:06:53,092 --> 01:06:56,638
B-B-But the... the whole kingdom's
turned out to celebrate your marriage.
1030
01:06:56,721 --> 01:06:58,556
There's just one problem.
1031
01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:00,308
That's not my husband.
1032
01:07:01,684 --> 01:07:03,019
I mean, look at him.
1033
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:10,235
Yes, he is a bit different, but, uh,
people change for the ones they love.
1034
01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:13,446
You'd be surprised how much I changed
for your mother.
1035
01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:14,656
Change?
1036
01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:17,575
He's completely lost his mind.
1037
01:07:17,659 --> 01:07:20,787
Darling, why not come down to the ball
and give him another chance?
1038
01:07:20,870 --> 01:07:24,165
I mean, you might find
you like this new Shrek.
1039
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:26,918
But it's the old one
I fell in love with, dad.
1040
01:07:28,127 --> 01:07:30,588
I'd give anything
to have him back.
1041
01:07:33,841 --> 01:07:37,011
Uh, darling, that's mine. Decaf.
1042
01:07:37,095 --> 01:07:38,888
Othennise I'm up all night.
1043
01:07:45,144 --> 01:07:46,771
Mmm. Thanks.
1044
01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:54,362
I got to get out of here!
You can't lock us up like this! Let me go!
1045
01:07:54,445 --> 01:07:55,738
What about my Miranda rights?
1046
01:07:55,822 --> 01:07:58,616
You're supposed to say
I have the right to remain silent.
1047
01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:00,386
Nobody said
I have the right to remain silent!
1048
01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:03,830
Donkey,
you have the right to remain silent.
1049
01:08:03,913 --> 01:08:06,207
What you lack is the capacity.
1050
01:08:06,291 --> 01:08:09,711
I must hold on before I, too,
go totally mad.
1051
01:08:10,211 --> 01:08:12,130
Shrek? Donkey?
1052
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:14,674
Too late.
1053
01:08:14,757 --> 01:08:17,760
Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here.
1054
01:08:18,469 --> 01:08:19,469
Oh!
1055
01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:25,393
Fire in the hole!
1056
01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:45,705
Look out below!
1057
01:08:48,166 --> 01:08:50,001
Quick, tell a lie.
1058
01:08:50,084 --> 01:08:52,837
- Well, uh, what should I say?
- Anything, but quick!
1059
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:55,107
Say something crazy like,
"I'm wearing ladies' undennear."
1060
01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:58,134
I'm... I am wearing ladies' undennear.
1061
01:09:01,179 --> 01:09:03,014
Are you?
1062
01:09:03,097 --> 01:09:05,058
I most certainly am not!
1063
01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:07,810
It looks like you most certainly am are.
1064
01:09:07,894 --> 01:09:09,479
- I am not!
- What kind?
1065
01:09:09,562 --> 01:09:11,064
- It's a thong!
- Ow!
1066
01:09:11,147 --> 01:09:12,398
They're briefs.
1067
01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:13,858
- Are not.
- Are too.
1068
01:09:13,941 --> 01:09:15,401
- Are not!
- Are too!
1069
01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:17,612
Here we go. Hang tight.
1070
01:09:21,407 --> 01:09:23,868
Hey, wait, wait, wait! Ow, ow!
Hey, hey, hey!
1071
01:09:23,951 --> 01:09:25,119
Ow!
1072
01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:30,041
- Excuse me?
- What? Puss!
1073
01:09:30,124 --> 01:09:32,251
- Mm-hmm?
- Pardon me, would you mind letting me go?
1074
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:33,378
Sorry, boss.
1075
01:09:33,461 --> 01:09:36,172
Quit messing around.
We've got to stop that kiss!
1076
01:09:36,255 --> 01:09:38,091
I thought you was going to let her go.
1077
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:40,468
I was,
but I can't let them do this to Fiona.
1078
01:09:40,551 --> 01:09:43,763
Boom! That's what I like to hear.
Look who's finally coming around.
1079
01:09:43,846 --> 01:09:45,598
But that's impossible. We'll never get in.
1080
01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:48,142
The castle is guarded
and there is a moat and everything!
1081
01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:54,607
Well, folks, it looks like we're up
chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick.
1082
01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:00,530
What?
1083
01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:02,198
Do you still know the muffin man?
1084
01:10:02,824 --> 01:10:06,285
Well, sure. He's down on drury Lane. Why?
1085
01:10:06,369 --> 01:10:08,371
Because we're gonna need flour.
1086
01:10:09,163 --> 01:10:11,332
Lots and lots of flour.
1087
01:10:15,420 --> 01:10:16,713
Gingy!
1088
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:21,175
Fire up the ovens, muffin man.
We've got a big order to fill.
1089
01:10:25,346 --> 01:10:27,598
It's alive!
1090
01:10:30,601 --> 01:10:32,186
Whoa.
1091
01:10:36,816 --> 01:10:39,235
Run, run, run as fast you can!
1092
01:10:46,409 --> 01:10:48,494
Go, baby, go!
1093
01:10:50,288 --> 01:10:52,999
There it is, mongo. To the castle.
1094
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:56,753
No, no, no, you great stupid pastry!
1095
01:10:56,836 --> 01:10:57,836
Come on!
1096
01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:07,889
- Mongo, down here. Look at the pony.
- Ooh.
1097
01:11:07,972 --> 01:11:09,474
Oh!
1098
01:11:09,557 --> 01:11:11,976
That's right, follow the pretty pony.
1099
01:11:12,059 --> 01:11:14,771
Pretty pony wants to play at the castle.
1100
01:11:14,854 --> 01:11:16,022
Pretty pony.
1101
01:11:18,191 --> 01:11:22,028
Ladies and gentlemen,
presenting Princess Fiona
1102
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:25,323
and her new husband, prince Shrek.
1103
01:11:27,158 --> 01:11:29,285
Shrek, what are you doing?
1104
01:11:29,368 --> 01:11:31,871
I'm just playing the part, Fiona.
1105
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:34,582
Is that glitter on your lips?
1106
01:11:34,665 --> 01:11:37,585
Mmm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste?
1107
01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:39,879
Ugh! What is with you?
1108
01:11:39,962 --> 01:11:41,380
But, muffin cake...
1109
01:11:44,717 --> 01:11:46,469
C minor, put it in c minor.
1110
01:11:47,762 --> 01:11:49,263
Ladies and gentlemen.
1111
01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:54,727
I'd like to dedicate this song to
1112
01:11:54,811 --> 01:11:58,856
Princess Fiona and prince Shrek.
1113
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,025
Fiona, my Princess.
1114
01:12:01,108 --> 01:12:04,320
Will you honor me with a dance?
1115
01:12:04,403 --> 01:12:08,783
J” where have all the good men gone j”
1116
01:12:08,866 --> 01:12:11,202
j” and where are all the gods... j”
1117
01:12:11,285 --> 01:12:12,605
Dance! Dance!
1118
01:12:12,662 --> 01:12:16,874
J” wheres the streetwise Hercules j”
1119
01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:20,419
j” to fight the rising odds... j”
1120
01:12:23,422 --> 01:12:25,174
Since when do you dance?
1121
01:12:25,258 --> 01:12:28,094
Fiona, my dearest.
If there's one thing I know,
1122
01:12:28,177 --> 01:12:31,430
it's that love is full of surprises.
1123
01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:34,183
J” late at night / toss and! Turn j”
1124
01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:40,147
j” and I dream of what I need... j”
1125
01:12:41,649 --> 01:12:42,650
hit it!
1126
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:45,862
J” oh, oh j”
1127
01:12:45,945 --> 01:12:47,280
j” lneeda hero... j”
1128
01:12:47,947 --> 01:12:51,409
all right, big fellow!
Let's crash this party!
1129
01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:54,579
Man the catapults!
1130
01:12:55,621 --> 01:12:57,540
Ready! Fire!
1131
01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,126
Brace yourselves!
1132
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:01,711
Ooh, purty.
1133
01:13:09,010 --> 01:13:11,220
Not the gumdrop button!
1134
01:13:17,852 --> 01:13:19,437
Incoming!
1135
01:13:20,646 --> 01:13:22,148
All right!
1136
01:13:25,151 --> 01:13:30,865
J” somewhere after midnight
in my wrldest fantasy... j”
1137
01:13:30,948 --> 01:13:32,533
go, mongo! Go!
1138
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:37,413
Man the cauldrons!
1139
01:13:37,997 --> 01:13:43,210
J” racing on the thunder
and rising with the heat j”
1140
01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:45,546
after you, mongo.
1141
01:13:48,424 --> 01:13:50,635
That's it. Heave!
1142
01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:52,845
- Foam!
- Watch out!
1143
01:13:55,097 --> 01:13:56,474
Shrek!
1144
01:13:58,267 --> 01:14:02,063
More heat, less foam!
1145
01:14:02,146 --> 01:14:04,941
J” up where the mountains
meet the heavens above j”
1146
01:14:05,024 --> 01:14:08,277
j” out where the
lightning splits the sea j”
1147
01:14:08,361 --> 01:14:11,989
j” / could swear there is someone
somewhere watching me... j”
1148
01:14:12,073 --> 01:14:14,158
Heave!
1149
01:14:14,825 --> 01:14:16,577
Foam!
1150
01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:19,413
[Gasps}
1151
01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:26,420
No!
1152
01:14:53,739 --> 01:14:55,282
Come on!
1153
01:14:55,366 --> 01:14:57,660
No, no!
1154
01:14:57,743 --> 01:15:00,329
Be good.
1155
01:15:02,415 --> 01:15:05,167
He needs me! Let me go!
1156
01:15:05,251 --> 01:15:07,003
J” I need a hero j”
1157
01:15:08,713 --> 01:15:09,713
Donkey.
1158
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:21,017
Puss!
1159
01:15:24,061 --> 01:15:26,522
Go, go! Your lady needs you. Go!
1160
01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:31,777
Today, I repay my debt.
1161
01:15:37,324 --> 01:15:39,410
Aw.
1162
01:15:40,202 --> 01:15:42,163
En garde!
1163
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,753
J” heis gotta be strong
and he is gotta be fast j”
1164
01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:51,839
j” and heis gotta be
fresh from the fight j”
1165
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,383
-j” I need a hero j” -stop!
1166
01:15:59,930 --> 01:16:01,015
Hey, you.
1167
01:16:01,682 --> 01:16:04,435
- Back away from my wife.
- Shrek?
1168
01:16:05,269 --> 01:16:09,857
You couldn't just go back to your swamp
and leave well enough alone.
1169
01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:12,151
- Now!
- Pigs und blanket!
1170
01:16:14,945 --> 01:16:16,489
Pinocchio, get the wand!
1171
01:16:16,572 --> 01:16:18,324
I see London. I see France.
1172
01:16:22,119 --> 01:16:24,246
I'm a real boy!
1173
01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:32,630
Ja!
1174
01:16:33,756 --> 01:16:34,840
Catch!
1175
01:16:35,758 --> 01:16:38,135
_ Donkey!
1176
01:16:39,845 --> 01:16:42,515
I'm a real boy.
1177
01:16:47,311 --> 01:16:49,688
That's mine! That's mine!
1178
01:16:53,359 --> 01:16:54,860
Pray for mercy, from puss...
1179
01:16:54,944 --> 01:16:56,695
And donkey!
1180
01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:59,490
She's taken the potion! Kiss her now!
1181
01:17:21,804 --> 01:17:22,804
Hi-yah!
1182
01:17:26,267 --> 01:17:28,269
- Fiona.
- Shrek.
1183
01:17:28,352 --> 01:17:32,106
Harold, you were supposed
to give her the potion!
1184
01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:36,193
Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.
1185
01:17:36,277 --> 01:17:38,195
- Mommy!
- Mommy?
1186
01:17:39,363 --> 01:17:46,370
I told you,
ogres don't live happily ever after.
1187
01:17:48,122 --> 01:17:48,956
Harold!
1188
01:17:49,039 --> 01:17:51,625
- Shrek!
- No!
1189
01:17:56,463 --> 01:17:57,464
Ooh!
1190
01:18:05,639 --> 01:18:08,601
Oh...
1191
01:18:10,477 --> 01:18:11,520
Dad.
1192
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:13,314
Daddy...
1193
01:18:15,691 --> 01:18:17,568
- Is he...
- Yup.
1194
01:18:19,570 --> 01:18:20,696
He croaked.
1195
01:18:22,948 --> 01:18:24,158
Harold?
1196
01:18:24,241 --> 01:18:26,327
- Dad?
- [Fighfl
1197
01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:30,331
- I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.
- Man, and he gave you a hard time!
1198
01:18:30,414 --> 01:18:33,876
- Donkey!
- No, no, he's right. I'm sorry...
1199
01:18:34,418 --> 01:18:35,544
To both of you.
1200
01:18:35,628 --> 01:18:38,297
I only wanted what was best for Fiona.
1201
01:18:39,423 --> 01:18:40,841
But I can see now
1202
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:43,135
she already has it.
1203
01:18:44,303 --> 01:18:45,804
Shrek, Fiona,
1204
01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:50,601
will you accept an old frog's apologies
1205
01:18:51,477 --> 01:18:52,853
and my blessing?
1206
01:18:54,355 --> 01:18:56,774
- Harold...
- I'm sorry, Lillian.
1207
01:18:56,857 --> 01:19:00,194
I just wish I could be
the man you deserve.
1208
01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:05,449
You're more that man today
than you ever were,
1209
01:19:05,532 --> 01:19:06,659
warts and all.
1210
01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:12,998
Boss, the happily ever after potion!
1211
01:19:13,082 --> 01:19:14,166
Midnight!
1212
01:19:15,292 --> 01:19:18,045
Fiona, is this what you want?
1213
01:19:19,255 --> 01:19:22,216
- To be this way forever?
- What?
1214
01:19:22,299 --> 01:19:23,801
'Cause if you kiss me now,
1215
01:19:24,969 --> 01:19:26,470
we can stay like this.
1216
01:19:26,553 --> 01:19:28,973
You'd do that?
1217
01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:31,850
- For me?
- Yes.
1218
01:19:40,734 --> 01:19:42,903
I want what any Princess wants,
1219
01:19:43,737 --> 01:19:45,948
to live happily ever after...
1220
01:19:50,452 --> 01:19:52,955
With the ogre I married.
1221
01:19:55,874 --> 01:19:59,086
Whatever happens, I must not cry.
1222
01:19:59,169 --> 01:20:01,005
You cannot make me cry.
1223
01:20:25,154 --> 01:20:26,739
No. No.
1224
01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:28,115
No, no. No!
1225
01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:31,493
No. No!
1226
01:20:33,037 --> 01:20:34,455
Oh, no.
1227
01:20:45,007 --> 01:20:46,675
Ugh.
1228
01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:55,267
Hey, you still look
like a noble steed to me.
1229
01:20:58,604 --> 01:21:02,524
Now, where were we?
1230
01:21:02,608 --> 01:21:04,610
Ooh! I remember.
1231
01:21:12,868 --> 01:21:15,704
Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?
1232
01:21:15,788 --> 01:21:17,373
Uno, dos, cuatro, hit it!
1233
01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:26,090
Puss and donkey, y'all...
1234
01:21:26,173 --> 01:21:29,176
J” she is into superstitions j”
1235
01:21:29,259 --> 01:21:31,261
j” black cats and voodoo dolls j”
1236
01:21:31,345 --> 01:21:34,640
- sing it, puss!
- J” / feel a premonition j”
1237
01:21:34,723 --> 01:21:36,892
j” that girl is gonna make me fall j”
1238
01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:39,978
here we go!
1239
01:21:40,062 --> 01:21:42,731
J” she is into new sensations j”
1240
01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:45,192
J” new kicks in the candlelightj”
1241
01:21:45,275 --> 01:21:48,237
j” she is got a new addiction j”
1242
01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:50,531
j” for every day and night j”
1243
01:21:50,614 --> 01:21:55,744
j” she 7! Make you take your clothes ofi
and go dancing in the rain j”
1244
01:21:55,828 --> 01:22:00,874
j” she 7! Make you live her crazy life
but she 7! Take away your pain j”
1245
01:22:00,958 --> 01:22:04,002
j” like a bullet to your brain j”
1246
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:08,924
j” upside, inside out
sheis livin'la vida loca... j”
1247
01:22:10,426 --> 01:22:11,593
hey, gorgeous!
1248
01:22:12,094 --> 01:22:14,721
J” livin'la vida loca j”
1249
01:22:14,805 --> 01:22:19,601
j” her lips are devil red
and her skin is the color mocha j”
1250
01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:22,896
- what she do?
- J” she will wear you outj”
1251
01:22:22,980 --> 01:22:24,690
j” livin'la vida loca j”
1252
01:22:24,773 --> 01:22:27,025
- She living it loca!
- J” livin'la vida loca j”
1253
01:22:27,109 --> 01:22:30,779
- sing it one more time now!
- J” sheis livin'la vida loca j”
1254
01:22:35,742 --> 01:22:38,328
Ow! Ay, donkey, that's Spanish!
1255
01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:39,496
Break it down!
1256
01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:44,168
J” she 7! Push and pull you down
livin'la vida loca j”
1257
01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:49,339
j” she will wear you out
livin'la vida loca j”
1258
01:22:49,882 --> 01:22:52,259
j” livin'la vida loca j”
1259
01:22:52,342 --> 01:22:57,681
j” she 7! Push and pull you down
livin'la vida loca j”
1260
01:22:57,764 --> 01:23:03,103
j” her lips are devil red
and her skin is the color mocha j”
1261
01:23:03,187 --> 01:23:06,440
j” she will wear you out j”
1262
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,692
j” livin'la vida loca j”
1263
01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:11,361
j” livin'la vida loca j”
1264
01:23:11,445 --> 01:23:13,989
- j” livin'la vida loca j”
-Sing it one more time, now!
1265
01:23:14,072 --> 01:23:16,700
J” livin'la vida loca j”
1266
01:23:25,292 --> 01:23:29,755
J” where have all the good men gone?
And where are all the gods? J”
1267
01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:34,259
j” whereis the street-wise Hercules
to fight the rising odds? J”
1268
01:23:34,968 --> 01:23:39,056
j” isn't there a white knight
upon a fiery steed? J”
1269
01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:43,727
j” late at night / toss and turn
and dream of what I need j”
1270
01:23:43,810 --> 01:23:45,562
j” I need a hero j”
1271
01:23:45,646 --> 01:23:48,649
j” I'm holding out for a hero
'til the morning light j”
1272
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:51,026
j” heis gotta be sure
and it is gotta be soon j”
1273
01:23:51,109 --> 01:23:54,905
-j” and he is gotta be larger than life j”
-j” larger than life j”
1274
01:23:58,784 --> 01:24:03,163
j” somewhere after midnight
in my wrldest fantasy j”
1275
01:24:03,247 --> 01:24:07,793
j” somewhere just beyond my reach
there is someone reaching back for me j”
1276
01:24:08,544 --> 01:24:12,381
j” racing on the thunder
rising with the heat j”
1277
01:24:13,173 --> 01:24:17,344
j” ltis gonna take a Superman
to sweep me ofi m y feet j”
1278
01:24:17,427 --> 01:24:19,137
j” I need a hero j”
1279
01:24:19,221 --> 01:24:22,224
j” I'm holding out for a hero
'til the morning light j”
1280
01:24:22,307 --> 01:24:24,726
j” heis gotta be sure
and it is gotta be soon j”
1281
01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:28,689
-j” and he is gotta be larger than life j”
-j” larger than life j”
1282
01:24:33,193 --> 01:24:36,446
J” all by myse/fj”
1283
01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:38,323
j” don't wanna be j”
1284
01:24:38,407 --> 01:24:42,744
j” all by myself anymore j”
1285
01:24:42,828 --> 01:24:46,790
amigo, we are off to the kit-Kat club.
Come on, join us.
1286
01:24:46,873 --> 01:24:50,419
Oh, thanks, compadre.
I'm... I'm just not in the mood.
1287
01:24:50,502 --> 01:24:54,631
We will cheer you up.
Find you a nice, uh, burro.
1288
01:24:54,715 --> 01:24:56,633
[Gasps}
1289
01:24:56,717 --> 01:24:58,135
hey, baby!
1290
01:24:58,218 --> 01:24:59,219
Whoo!
1291
01:24:59,303 --> 01:25:02,889
Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right!
1292
01:25:03,724 --> 01:25:04,891
Baby, where you been?
1293
01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:10,188
I'm sorry too. I should have stayed,
but Shrek had this thing he had to do...
1294
01:25:10,272 --> 01:25:11,732
What? Say that one more time.
1295
01:25:11,815 --> 01:25:13,900
What you talking about? Are you serious?
1296
01:25:14,526 --> 01:25:16,278
[Gasps}
1297
01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:27,456
Look at our little mutant babies!
1298
01:25:30,459 --> 01:25:31,752
I got to get a job.
1299
01:25:37,549 --> 01:25:40,302
J” I'm strange and you're strange j”
1300
01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:43,555
j” don't want you to change j”
1301
01:25:43,639 --> 01:25:46,350
j” no wayj”
1302
01:25:46,433 --> 01:25:49,478
j”ahhahaahj”
1303
01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:53,940
j” why can't / explain? J”
1304
01:25:54,024 --> 01:25:56,902
j” flying to the sun without a plane j”
1305
01:25:56,985 --> 01:26:00,030
j” when you're here j”
1306
01:26:00,113 --> 01:26:03,116
j”ahhahaahj”
1307
01:26:03,992 --> 01:26:10,666
j” and don't you worry 'bout me, babe j”
1308
01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:17,756
j” 'cause I'm right here for you to sayj”
1309
01:26:21,718 --> 01:26:25,055
j” hope you know you inspire me j”
1310
01:26:25,138 --> 01:26:27,557
j” you're a fiower and I'm a bee j”
1311
01:26:27,641 --> 01:26:30,644
j” I need you j”
1312
01:26:30,727 --> 01:26:33,897
j”ahhahaahj”
1313
01:26:35,357 --> 01:26:38,652
j” all this you do for free j”
1314
01:26:38,735 --> 01:26:41,029
j” give me hope and / can see j”
1315
01:26:41,113 --> 01:26:44,282
j” you're so true j”
1316
01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:47,285
j”ahhahaahj”
1317
01:26:48,537 --> 01:26:52,833
j” and don't you worry 'bout me, babe j”
1318
01:26:52,916 --> 01:26:55,377
j” don't you worry 'bout me j”
1319
01:26:55,460 --> 01:27:02,467
j” 'cause I'm right there for you to say j”
1320
01:27:06,012 --> 01:27:09,349
j” you're strange and I'm strange j”
1321
01:27:09,433 --> 01:27:12,269
j” don't want you to change j”
1322
01:27:12,352 --> 01:27:14,896
j” no wayj”
1323
01:27:14,980 --> 01:27:17,983
j”ahahahahj”
1324
01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:23,488
j” and don't you worry 'bout me, babe j”
1325
01:27:23,572 --> 01:27:25,741
j” don't you worry 'bout me j”
1326
01:27:25,824 --> 01:27:32,414
j” 'cause I'm right here for you to sayj”
1327
01:27:32,497 --> 01:27:37,544
j” to sayj”
1328
01:27:50,849 --> 01:27:54,853
J” won't you take me to
f unkyto wn? J”
1329
01:27:54,936 --> 01:27:58,273
j” won't you take me to
f unkyto wn? J”
1330
01:27:58,815 --> 01:28:02,319
j” won't you take me to
f unkyto wn? J”
1331
01:28:02,819 --> 01:28:06,281
j” won't you take me to
f unkyto wn? J”
1332
01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:41,858
J” won't you take me to
f unkyto wn? J”
1333
01:28:41,942 --> 01:28:45,278
j” won't you take me to
f unkyto wn? J”
1334
01:28:45,904 --> 01:28:49,783
j” won't you take me to
f unkyto wn? J”
1335
01:28:49,866 --> 01:28:53,662
j” won't you take me down to
f unkyto wn? J”
1336
01:28:53,745 --> 01:28:57,624
-j” won't you take me to j”
-j” funkytown j”
1337
01:28:57,707 --> 01:29:01,503
-j” won't you take me to j”
-j” funkytown? J”
1338
01:29:01,586 --> 01:29:05,507
-j” won't you take me to j”
-j” funkytown? J”
1339
01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:09,469
-j” won't you take me to j”
-j” funkytown? J”
1340
01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:34,536
J” well, / talk about it, talk about it
talk about it, talk about it j”
1341
01:29:37,873 --> 01:29:42,460
j” talk about, talk about
talk about mo vin ' j”
1342
01:29:45,881 --> 01:29:47,299
j” gotta move on j”
1343
01:29:49,801 --> 01:29:51,219
j” gotta move on j”
1344
01:30:02,105 --> 01:30:05,191
J” she said I've gotta be honest j”
1345
01:30:05,275 --> 01:30:09,195
j” you're wasting your time
if you're fishing round here j”
1346
01:30:10,572 --> 01:30:14,034
j” and / said you must be mistaken j”
1347
01:30:14,117 --> 01:30:17,787
j” I'm not fooling, this feeling is real j”
1348
01:30:19,456 --> 01:30:22,459
j” she said you've gotta be crazyj”
1349
01:30:22,542 --> 01:30:28,048
j” what do you take me for?
Some kind of easy Mark? J”
1350
01:30:28,131 --> 01:30:30,175
j” you've got wits, you've got looks j”
1351
01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:34,763
j” you've got passion
but / swear that you've got me all wrong j”
1352
01:30:35,513 --> 01:30:37,349
j” all wrong j”
1353
01:30:39,768 --> 01:30:43,063
j” all wrong j”
1354
01:30:44,064 --> 01:30:46,066
j” but you've got me j”
1355
01:30:49,319 --> 01:30:51,947
j” ll! Be true, I'll be useful j”
1356
01:30:52,030 --> 01:30:54,574
j” h! Be ca valierj”
1357
01:30:54,658 --> 01:30:56,910
j” ll! Be yours, my dearj”
1358
01:30:56,993 --> 01:31:00,246
j” and I'i/ belong to you j”
1359
01:31:00,330 --> 01:31:04,542
j” if you 7! Just let me through j”
1360
01:31:06,336 --> 01:31:09,339
j” this is easy as lovers go j”
1361
01:31:09,422 --> 01:31:14,177
j” so don't complicate it by hesitating j”
1362
01:31:14,260 --> 01:31:17,973
j” and this is wonderful
as lo vr'ng goes j”
1363
01:31:18,056 --> 01:31:22,894
j” this is tailor-made
what is the sense in waiting j”
1364
01:31:22,978 --> 01:31:26,189
j” and / said I've gotta be honest j”
1365
01:31:26,272 --> 01:31:29,985
j” I've been waiting for you all my life j”
1366
01:31:31,277 --> 01:31:34,948
j” for so long
I thought / was asylum bound j”
1367
01:31:35,031 --> 01:31:38,868
j” but just seeing you
makes me think twice j”
1368
01:31:40,328 --> 01:31:43,456
j” you've got wits, you've got looks
you've got passion j”
1369
01:31:43,540 --> 01:31:47,168
j” but are you brave enough
to leave with me tonight j”
1370
01:31:47,794 --> 01:31:49,754
j” tonightj”
1371
01:31:52,007 --> 01:31:55,593
j” tonightj”
1372
01:31:56,219 --> 01:31:58,221
j” but you've got me j”
1373
01:32:01,599 --> 01:32:04,269
j” ll! Be true, I'll be useful j”
1374
01:32:04,352 --> 01:32:08,940
j” ll! Be cavalier
ll! Be yours, my dearj”
1375
01:32:09,024 --> 01:32:12,402
j” and I'i/ belong to you j”
1376
01:32:12,485 --> 01:32:17,115
j” if you 7! Just let me through j”
1377
01:32:18,533 --> 01:32:21,536
j” this is easy as lovers go j”
1378
01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:26,499
j” so don't complicate it by hesitating j”
1379
01:32:26,583 --> 01:32:30,170
j” and this is wonderful
as lo vr'ng goes j”
1380
01:32:30,253 --> 01:32:37,260
j” this is tailor-made
what is the sense in waiting j”
1380
01:32:38,305 --> 01:33:38,408
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