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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,083
(eerie horror music)
2
00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:14,660
- Hello.
3
00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:16,510
My name is Mona Screamalot
4
00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:19,067
and welcome to my family movie night.
5
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:21,683
This is my pet grandpa, Oats.
6
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:24,603
This is my puppy, Shrimp.
7
00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:29,230
This is my asshole druggie brother
8
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,050
and the rest of my druggie family,
9
00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:32,905
my poor fucking grandma.
10
00:02:32,905 --> 00:02:35,594
(tense music)
11
00:02:35,594 --> 00:02:36,863
Ew, Grandpa!
12
00:02:38,603 --> 00:02:41,840
And me and my crazy family
have plenty of things
13
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,593
lined up for you in our
Trashy Treasure Chest.
14
00:02:52,374 --> 00:02:56,541
And look, they're in
glorious HD, high defecation.
15
00:02:58,130 --> 00:03:01,000
All right, one of my
favorite Christmas stories.
16
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,585
This little tidbit of terror
17
00:03:02,585 --> 00:03:04,335
is called "Trendish".
18
00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:07,073
Put it in, Grandpa.
19
00:03:08,343 --> 00:03:10,843
(eerie music)
20
00:03:12,841 --> 00:03:14,533
(upbeat music)
21
00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:16,920
- Man, oh man, today's the day.
22
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,079
I've waited and it's finally here.
23
00:03:19,079 --> 00:03:22,140
The new Bank Money Double C video dropped.
24
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:23,450
That hat is gonna make me
25
00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:25,933
the coolest kid in high school, finally.
26
00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:32,603
Mom, dad, it's the best day ever.
27
00:03:33,550 --> 00:03:36,260
- What, did you sprout your first pubes?
28
00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:37,093
- Good one.
29
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,230
- No, not yet, but the new Big Money
30
00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:41,940
Double Z video dropped.
31
00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:44,579
Can't wait to see that great new hat.
32
00:03:44,579 --> 00:03:45,840
- That's nice.
33
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:46,970
- Hey, how about if he get outta here?
34
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:49,023
We're busy, can't you see?
35
00:03:50,570 --> 00:03:52,240
- Okay, well I'm out of this, pop Stan.
36
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:53,740
I'm gonna go watch that video.
37
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:57,462
- Buzz off, numb nuts.
38
00:03:57,462 --> 00:03:59,716
Kid drives me fucking crazy, you know?
39
00:03:59,716 --> 00:04:01,130
It's like, he sucks the
life out of me, you know?
40
00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,083
Here, here, there you go.
41
00:04:04,387 --> 00:04:06,970
(upbeat music)
42
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:23,910
What the fuck is with this kid?
43
00:04:23,910 --> 00:04:25,680
- I don't know.
44
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,740
I wish I understood
him, but I really don't.
45
00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:30,520
- These goddamn teenagers these days.
46
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,909
I'm so sick of all these trends.
47
00:04:32,909 --> 00:04:36,560
Jesus Christ, why can't he
be more like his brother?
48
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,990
- It's so much easier with Kyle.
49
00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:42,500
He just wants what is easy and simple.
50
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:45,020
Nothing complicated about him.
51
00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:46,603
- Yeah, but the only problem is
52
00:04:46,603 --> 00:04:51,190
that he is a serious DVD
hoarder and you know it.
53
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:54,720
- I love my DVD's, my sanctuary!
54
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,960
My kingdom of DVD's!
55
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,947
I have everyone, I have
everything, all of them
56
00:04:59,947 --> 00:05:01,543
but I still need more!
57
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:04,910
- It's here, it's here.
58
00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:06,600
The new Big Money Double Z.
59
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:07,740
I gotta see this new video
60
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:10,130
to see that great new hat.
61
00:05:10,130 --> 00:05:10,963
Enter!
62
00:05:12,064 --> 00:05:15,871
(heavy upbeat music)
63
00:05:15,871 --> 00:05:17,485
♪ Hey yo, wanna look like me ♪
64
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,573
♪ Wanna look like me, wanna be like me ♪
65
00:05:19,573 --> 00:05:21,720
♪ Wanna flow like me ♪
66
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,700
♪ What you got to do is buy my hat ♪
67
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,712
♪ Buy my hat and buy my hat ♪
68
00:05:25,712 --> 00:05:27,681
♪ Buy my hat and buy my hat ♪
69
00:05:27,681 --> 00:05:29,772
♪ Then you can be just as cool as me ♪
70
00:05:29,772 --> 00:05:31,652
♪ Yo you might say what is wrong ♪
71
00:05:31,652 --> 00:05:33,533
♪ You're not even wearing your own hat ♪
72
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,633
♪ I don't need to wear my hat ♪
73
00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:39,672
♪ Because I'm already the
coolest mofo all around ♪
74
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:40,617
♪ But if you buy my hat ♪
75
00:05:40,617 --> 00:05:42,629
♪ You'll be just as cool as me ♪
76
00:05:42,629 --> 00:05:43,674
♪ Cool as me ♪
77
00:05:43,674 --> 00:05:45,699
♪ Buy my hat and you'll be just like me ♪
78
00:05:45,699 --> 00:05:47,601
♪ Buy my hat, buy my hat ♪
79
00:05:47,601 --> 00:05:51,778
♪ Buy my hat and you'll be a cool ♪
80
00:05:51,778 --> 00:05:53,606
♪ Buy my hat and buy my hat ♪
81
00:05:53,606 --> 00:05:55,762
♪ Yo yo buy my hat ♪
82
00:05:55,762 --> 00:05:56,730
♪ You better buy my hat ♪
83
00:05:56,730 --> 00:06:00,563
♪ Buy my hat, buy my hat, son ♪
84
00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:05,530
- Oh my God.
85
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:07,470
That hat is glorious.
86
00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,390
Think I know what I want for Christmas.
87
00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:11,793
Wait, not want, need.
88
00:06:18,950 --> 00:06:21,543
Oh, that new hat, I've
never seen anything like it.
89
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:31,180
Mom, that hat is unbelievable.
90
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,900
Better than I could have ever dreamed.
91
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,440
I need it for Christmas.
92
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,200
- Do you think we are made of money?
93
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,430
I can't get you every little
thing that your heart desires.
94
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:44,409
I'm sorry, we just can't
afford all that junk.
95
00:06:44,409 --> 00:06:47,650
- But you get Kyle anything
that he ever wants.
96
00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:48,590
- Oh, come on.
97
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:52,100
I don't wanna go on and
on about this stupid hat.
98
00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:53,240
Get over it!
99
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,400
- But I need to know that I'm
gonna get it for Christmas.
100
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,409
I need to know that I'm
finally gonna be cool.
101
00:06:58,409 --> 00:07:01,820
- Oh, a come on, stupid hat
isn't gonna make you cool.
102
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:03,280
- No, you don't seem to get it.
103
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,197
This hat makes anyone cool.
104
00:07:05,197 --> 00:07:08,000
ask Big Money Double Z, he'll tell ya.
105
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,226
- Get that your Double Z, number one, hat,
106
00:07:11,226 --> 00:07:13,870
big money, whatever out of here.
107
00:07:13,870 --> 00:07:15,750
Tell your father about it.
108
00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:17,323
- You just don't get it, mom.
109
00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:22,047
Dad.
110
00:07:22,047 --> 00:07:23,530
- What the hell do you want?
111
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,030
I'm busy, can't you see me working?
112
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,550
- Dad, dad, mom just told me to tell you,
113
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:30,310
I need that hat for Christmas.
114
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:31,400
She won't listen.
115
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,438
I think you'll get it, you'll understand.
116
00:07:33,438 --> 00:07:37,560
- Goddammit, can't you
see me working here?
117
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,027
You're always asking for
some needy, needy, needy.
118
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,810
"I need this, I want this."
119
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,082
People in hell want a cold drink?
120
00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:50,830
I'm so tired of hearing about this hat.
121
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:51,663
What?
122
00:07:51,663 --> 00:07:54,280
You know, you're an ass hat.
123
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,770
- But I need the hat.
124
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:58,980
If I don't get the hat, I
don't know what I might do.
125
00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:02,220
- Oh, I'm shaking in my boots.
126
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,977
Why don't you get the fuck outta here,.
127
00:08:03,977 --> 00:08:05,550
"I need this, I want this."
128
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:06,610
I'm tired of it.
129
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:07,690
Get the out fuck out.
130
00:08:07,690 --> 00:08:11,113
I don't wanna hear any more
about that goddamned hat.
131
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,490
- They just don't understand.
132
00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:19,423
I need it, to be cool.
133
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:21,430
Tired of being lame.
134
00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:25,763
Hey Kyle.
135
00:08:29,244 --> 00:08:30,137
- What do you want?
136
00:08:30,137 --> 00:08:32,590
I'm trying to look at my DVDs here.
137
00:08:32,590 --> 00:08:35,220
- Look, Kyle, can you please just try
138
00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:37,080
and convince mom and dad that I need
139
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,220
the new Big Money Double Z hat.
140
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:43,010
It's the only way I'm ever gonna be cool.
141
00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:44,370
- I'll see what I can do.
142
00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:47,440
I've got really important things
to do in here with my DVDs.
143
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,520
Like look at my DVDs,
like categorize my DVDs,
144
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,700
like review my DVDs, like kiss my DVDs,
145
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,800
like masturbate to my DVDs.
146
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,593
And maybe even try and fuck my DVDs.
147
00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:01,320
- Too much information.
148
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,660
Just please do.
149
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:05,000
You have everything you
could ever dream about.
150
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,350
Every DVD.
151
00:09:06,350 --> 00:09:08,940
And this is all I really
need for Christmas.
152
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:11,863
Just convince them somehow, anyhow.
153
00:09:13,454 --> 00:09:16,090
- Oh yeah, whatever, okay?
154
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:19,017
Oh, just a little lube
155
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:22,663
and I can finally lose
my virginity to a DVD.
156
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,480
I can't wait.
157
00:09:26,573 --> 00:09:29,240
(gentle music)
158
00:09:59,728 --> 00:10:02,740
- Look at that, a glue gun.
159
00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:06,030
- Okay, boys, it's time
to open your gifts.
160
00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:09,180
- Mom, dad, can I open mine first, please?
161
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:12,620
- Okay, if it's okay with
Kyle, then you can go first.
162
00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:15,683
- Sure, it's Christmas, go ahead.
163
00:10:20,749 --> 00:10:21,999
- I can't wait.
164
00:10:30,394 --> 00:10:32,720
- Well, we know you
wanted a hat really bad.
165
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,453
So there you go, there's a hat.
166
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:39,230
- This wasn't the hat I wanted.
167
00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:40,630
This isn't it.
168
00:10:40,630 --> 00:10:44,030
You made a mistake, you
must've made a mistake here.
169
00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:45,501
This isn't it.
170
00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:47,830
This isn't gonna make me cool.
171
00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:49,055
- It's a hat.
172
00:10:49,055 --> 00:10:51,067
A hat is a hat.
173
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,823
- And besides, the one you
wanted was too pricey for us.
174
00:11:02,810 --> 00:11:05,637
- Thanks, mom and dad, just what I wanted.
175
00:11:09,879 --> 00:11:13,540
- But Kyle, over there, he
gets everything he wants.
176
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,503
He got everything he wanted this year.
177
00:11:16,345 --> 00:11:18,240
It doesn't make any sense.
178
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,080
- Well, Kyle is a straight C student.
179
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,193
He deserved those DVD's.
180
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:26,530
- Well, I should be just
as a part of this family.
181
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,833
This isn't right.
182
00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:31,113
You'll be sorry.
183
00:11:33,489 --> 00:11:34,772
- What's with him?
184
00:11:34,772 --> 00:11:36,170
What's his problem?
185
00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:37,433
We got him the stupid hat.
- Yeah.
186
00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:39,280
And what's with that damn shirt?
187
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,400
He wears it every day.
188
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,640
- Oh, Christ, it looks like
somebody threw up on it.
189
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:43,473
- No, he made it--
190
00:11:43,473 --> 00:11:44,456
- What, did he make it in arts and craft?
191
00:11:44,456 --> 00:11:46,054
- He made it himself.
192
00:11:46,054 --> 00:11:47,572
- With that hippy dippy art teacher?
193
00:11:47,572 --> 00:11:48,590
- He thinks his gonna make them
194
00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:50,337
and sell them on Ebay or something.
195
00:11:50,337 --> 00:11:52,500
- He has to ask for the extra rubber bands
196
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:54,290
from all the family
members for the fucking--
197
00:11:54,290 --> 00:11:56,633
- I don't want one, I hope
he doesn't make me one,
198
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,993
- I don't need either.
199
00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:00,890
- Well, at least I got my DVD's.
200
00:12:01,870 --> 00:12:03,213
Jerk material for me.
201
00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:14,730
- You know, I really thought
202
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:15,900
they were gonna come
through for me this year.
203
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,170
But I guess not, yet again.
204
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:20,070
Kyle gets his way and I get nothing.
205
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:21,483
They foiled me again.
206
00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:25,820
This will not do, this won't do at all.
207
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:28,310
Kyle is the perfect son for them,
208
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:32,140
but somehow I just get shafted every year.
209
00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:35,010
Well, they're gonna regret it this year.
210
00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:36,143
I tell you what.
211
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,340
I'm gonna do something
unforgivable this year
212
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:40,690
for their presents
213
00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:43,333
because they didn't come
through for me yet again.
214
00:12:45,158 --> 00:12:46,740
- You know, I really feel bad.
215
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:48,590
He really wanted that hat, honey.
216
00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:50,700
We should have gotten him that hat.
217
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,520
Wasn't that big of a deal.
218
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,800
- It was expensive.
219
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,850
We couldn't afford that hat.
220
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:59,600
On top of all those
goddamn DVD's for Kyle.
221
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,450
He just has to have them.
222
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:03,640
So, you know, somebody has to suffer.
223
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:04,960
So it had to be him.
224
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,740
- And he always gets
the bad end of the deal.
225
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:11,243
- Oh well, that's how it is.
226
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,360
(eerie music)
227
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,830
- This will not do, not again.
228
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:20,410
This will not do.
229
00:13:20,410 --> 00:13:22,510
This will not do at all.
230
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:26,420
Every year that tubby
bastard gets everything.
231
00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:28,220
Every DVD he wants.
232
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:30,620
I, everything he wants.
233
00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:32,600
I don't get one thing I need.
234
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,660
I need this to be cool,
without it I'm lame!
235
00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:38,490
And after tonight,
236
00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:39,920
I'm never gonna be lame again
237
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,113
because what I do, it's
gonna fix them good.
238
00:13:44,341 --> 00:13:46,424
(growls)
239
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,440
Hey, mom and dad.
240
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,130
Your favorite son is here, you know?
241
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:55,400
The one who got exactly what he wanted
242
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,530
for Christmas this year.
243
00:13:56,530 --> 00:13:59,480
- What the hell do you want?
244
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,663
Jesus, I just got to sleep.
245
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:04,800
- Mother and father.
246
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,500
You didn't get me what I
wanted for this Christmas.
247
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,890
So you know what your present from me is?
248
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:10,723
Death!
249
00:14:10,723 --> 00:14:13,593
The sweet release of death, you die.
250
00:14:13,593 --> 00:14:14,426
- No!
251
00:14:14,426 --> 00:14:15,259
No!
252
00:14:15,259 --> 00:14:16,092
No!
253
00:14:17,541 --> 00:14:18,374
Oh, no!
254
00:14:22,538 --> 00:14:25,110
- Where did I put that damn anal lube?
255
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:27,933
I need to try and do it with my discs.
256
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:32,653
- Hello, brother.
257
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:37,990
- Are you all right?
258
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:39,900
What happened?
259
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,459
- They didn't get me what I wanted.
260
00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:44,290
I just wanted to be cool.
261
00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:45,770
- What did you do?
262
00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:47,580
- They never cared about me.
263
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:49,550
They never thought anything of me.
264
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,470
It was always about you,
265
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:53,512
Kyle this, Kyle that,
266
00:14:53,512 --> 00:14:56,800
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!
267
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,407
- Oh my God.
268
00:14:58,407 --> 00:15:00,503
What did you do to mom and dad?
269
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,630
- Oh, you know, cut them up.
270
00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:06,870
A little dicing and a little slicing.
271
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:09,120
And I'm gonna do the same to you, Kyle.
272
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,243
Forgive me, father for I have sinned.
273
00:15:12,243 --> 00:15:14,993
(Kyle screaming)
274
00:15:17,939 --> 00:15:21,356
(Kyle breathing heavily)
275
00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:24,490
Shalom.
276
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,350
DVD, Blu-ray Trading Stop?
277
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:30,707
Well, let's just say I
got a whole mess of DVD's
278
00:15:30,707 --> 00:15:33,343
and Blu-rays to trade in for y'all today.
279
00:15:34,406 --> 00:15:36,073
I'll see you later.
280
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:41,638
Oh man, with all that moolah,
281
00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:45,030
I'm gonna be able to afford
every hat I've ever wanted.
282
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:49,177
I'm gonna be the coolest
guy around. (laughing)
283
00:16:00,549 --> 00:16:03,010
- Well, I would have wanted a
barrel of acid for Christmas,
284
00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:06,863
easier to dispose of your
parents' stinking corpses after.
285
00:16:11,590 --> 00:16:15,900
And this blasphemous bowel
movement is "Baby Cakes."
286
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,445
Put it in, grandpa.
287
00:16:17,445 --> 00:16:20,028
(horror music)
288
00:16:25,909 --> 00:16:27,983
- Things just really got out of control.
289
00:16:27,983 --> 00:16:29,720
I mean, he's a good baby and all,
290
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,589
it's just the things
he's been doing lately.
291
00:16:31,589 --> 00:16:34,000
They don't make sense.
292
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,276
- What she's trying to say is
293
00:16:35,276 --> 00:16:38,280
he just can't be left alone
with people he doesn't know.
294
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,093
That's why we brought you here.
295
00:16:40,093 --> 00:16:41,100
You know, we heard a lot of good things
296
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,170
about you online or on television.
297
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,110
And you are a master
when it comes to putting
298
00:16:45,110 --> 00:16:47,890
ill-mannered babies and
children in their place.
299
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:49,530
- Well, listen, you know,
300
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:52,110
I'm gonna need a bigger picture.
301
00:16:52,110 --> 00:16:53,963
If you could just kind of
flesh out a little bit,
302
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:57,320
the little babies behaviors
303
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:02,053
so I can get a more tactile
sense of what's happening here.
304
00:17:04,430 --> 00:17:07,069
- Well, I don't even know where to start.
305
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,140
He only seems to eat
the female babysitters
306
00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:10,117
and kill the male--
307
00:17:10,117 --> 00:17:12,077
- Knock it off.
308
00:17:12,077 --> 00:17:14,242
What she's trying to say
is he's only a bad baby
309
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:16,693
when he's left alone with
people he doesn't know.
310
00:17:18,766 --> 00:17:20,443
- I see, I see.
311
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,893
All right, here's what we'll do.
312
00:17:26,874 --> 00:17:28,720
Now tell me the incident.
313
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,530
And I want you to describe the incident
314
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:33,493
that led you to call me
at 2:00 AM in the morning.
315
00:17:34,510 --> 00:17:36,820
- Well, yesterday Buddy and I went out
316
00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:38,770
for a nice candle lit dinner.
317
00:17:38,770 --> 00:17:41,550
So I hired the next door neighbor, Sam
318
00:17:41,550 --> 00:17:43,313
to come over for a few hours.
319
00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:47,360
Thanks so much, Sam for agreeing
and babysitting Baby Cakes.
320
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,920
Buddy and I rarely get to go out.
321
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,360
- Now remember, Sam do not go in that room
322
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,850
under any circumstances if you
hear any noises whatsoever.
323
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:56,683
All right?
324
00:17:56,683 --> 00:17:58,400
We have him under heavy sedation.
325
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:02,000
A big plane can crash down
this motherfucker right now.
326
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,610
And he won't wake up, you understand me?
327
00:18:04,610 --> 00:18:07,500
- Okay, but I've been your
neighbor for like two years now
328
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,350
and I still don't know what
little Baby Cakes looks like.
329
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:11,450
- Well, let's just say
330
00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:13,010
he doesn't like the outdoors that much.
331
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:14,440
And he's very malnutritioned
332
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,520
so we don't like taking him anywhere.
333
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,380
- Well, the doctor's say he's special,
334
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:19,560
but anyways, we gotta go.
335
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,350
We're running late, we
gotta get to the restaurant.
336
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,950
I'm hungry as hell.
337
00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:24,400
Just call us if you need us.
338
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,690
- Right on Mr. Driscoll.
339
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,743
Don't worry, I'll make
sure he's safe and sound.
340
00:18:29,430 --> 00:18:30,850
- Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
341
00:18:30,850 --> 00:18:32,970
Baby Cakes has been having
very bad diarrhea lately.
342
00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:34,380
So if the air smells like shit,
343
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:35,850
just spray a little bit of air freshener.
344
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:37,950
When we get back, we'll change his diaper.
345
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,210
- Bobby, Bobby, come here.
346
00:18:58,210 --> 00:18:59,993
I wanna see this thing already.
347
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,450
- Did you see the baby yet?
348
00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:04,150
Did you see the baby?
349
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:05,890
- Relax. Relax, relax.
350
00:19:05,890 --> 00:19:06,723
- Why?
351
00:19:06,723 --> 00:19:07,556
- Take your time.
352
00:19:07,556 --> 00:19:08,690
- No, no, no, no, no.
353
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:10,270
I got the camera here.
354
00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:11,830
You're we gonna be rich and famous.
355
00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:13,100
We're gonna be all the national news.
356
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,310
We'll have hookers, sluts, Jacuzzi's.
357
00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:17,160
We're gonna be famous.
358
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,830
- We have all the time
in the world for drugs.
359
00:19:18,830 --> 00:19:19,830
We only have a little bit of time
360
00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:21,330
until their parents come back.
361
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,370
- Okay, let me get the camera.
362
00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:26,959
(tense music)
363
00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:28,570
- Holy fuck!
364
00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:31,073
- The stories and rumors I
heard were true all along.
365
00:19:31,073 --> 00:19:32,630
- Oh my God.
366
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,770
Did you know this thing
ate two babysitters before?
367
00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:37,020
Two females, just gobbled them right up!
368
00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,020
- Have I heard what?
369
00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:41,830
- Okay, let's get this thing started.
370
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:49,852
(intense music)
371
00:19:49,852 --> 00:19:53,870
(Baby Cakes breathing heavily)
372
00:19:53,870 --> 00:19:55,900
(boys screaming)
373
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:59,067
(Baby Cakes growling)
374
00:20:10,599 --> 00:20:13,766
(Baby Cakes laughing)
375
00:20:21,166 --> 00:20:21,999
- Oh God.
376
00:20:27,599 --> 00:20:29,626
(tense music)
377
00:20:29,626 --> 00:20:30,546
(rattle shaking)
378
00:20:30,546 --> 00:20:31,379
Get away.
379
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,767
(Baby Cakes yelling)
380
00:20:39,767 --> 00:20:42,600
(rattle cracking)
381
00:20:44,671 --> 00:20:47,288
(Baby Cakes laughing)
382
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,788
(tense music)
383
00:20:53,973 --> 00:20:57,250
- So Roy, you see, that's what
we came home to last night,
384
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:58,900
which was the final straw.
385
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:00,890
And I know you can help
us with little Baby Cakes
386
00:21:00,890 --> 00:21:03,825
and his anger problems
towards the babysitters.
387
00:21:03,825 --> 00:21:07,880
- Tell me, what did you
do with these bodies?
388
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,750
- Well, we just stuffed
them in garbage bags
389
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,000
and threw them on their
family's front porch.
390
00:21:13,370 --> 00:21:15,240
- Okay, I think I've heard enough.
391
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,493
Let me see this baby of yours.
392
00:21:25,639 --> 00:21:28,389
(haunting music)
393
00:21:31,116 --> 00:21:34,283
(Baby Cakes growling)
394
00:21:40,312 --> 00:21:41,470
- Baby.
395
00:21:41,470 --> 00:21:43,283
- There's my piggy.
396
00:21:44,235 --> 00:21:45,068
- Hi.
397
00:21:47,510 --> 00:21:48,640
- See what I mean?
398
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,883
He loves us, but he hates strangers.
399
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:56,300
- Well, don't worry about it
400
00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:57,920
after all that is my job,
401
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,873
taming these little bastards.
402
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,851
(Baby Cakes laughing)
403
00:22:05,851 --> 00:22:09,018
(Baby Cakes growling)
404
00:22:20,862 --> 00:22:22,445
You little, animal!
405
00:22:24,275 --> 00:22:27,190
You motherfucking piece of baby shit!
406
00:22:27,190 --> 00:22:31,263
I am going to show you
who is boss around here.
407
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,270
Do you understand?
408
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:37,120
Do you understand?
409
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,195
You don't even speak English,
410
00:22:38,195 --> 00:22:42,084
you silly little infant of shit.
411
00:22:42,084 --> 00:22:45,251
(Baby Cakes growling)
412
00:22:48,230 --> 00:22:50,990
This is gonna be a bit more
difficult that I imagined.
413
00:22:52,616 --> 00:22:55,230
I'm gonna need you to leave me alone.
414
00:22:55,230 --> 00:22:56,370
Finish your cookie.
415
00:22:56,370 --> 00:22:57,980
No, no, thank you.
416
00:22:57,980 --> 00:22:58,813
Leave.
417
00:22:59,844 --> 00:23:02,736
I'm gonna work a little magic.
418
00:23:02,736 --> 00:23:06,722
No, thank you.
419
00:23:06,722 --> 00:23:08,075
No, thank you.
420
00:23:08,075 --> 00:23:09,416
Goodbye.
421
00:23:09,416 --> 00:23:14,416
Mr. Rumpeldickskin wants to play.
422
00:23:19,379 --> 00:23:24,379
Do you like it when Mr.
Rumpledickskin plays with you?
423
00:23:25,198 --> 00:23:27,703
wants to play with you?
424
00:23:27,703 --> 00:23:30,630
(Baby Cakes growling)
425
00:23:30,630 --> 00:23:31,547
Baby, baby!
426
00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:37,341
Get, get over here, you little baby!
427
00:23:37,341 --> 00:23:39,188
Get, get over here now!
428
00:23:39,188 --> 00:23:42,938
(Baby Cakes and Roy yelling)
429
00:23:53,730 --> 00:23:54,973
Screw it.
430
00:23:55,870 --> 00:23:59,790
That is the worst baby
I have ever dealt with
431
00:23:59,790 --> 00:24:04,170
in my entire career of baby training.
432
00:24:04,170 --> 00:24:05,610
Screw it.
433
00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:06,770
- You're getting her all flustered.
434
00:24:06,770 --> 00:24:08,360
You're not gonna leave us, are you?
435
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:11,343
Because you know, Baby Cakes
needs some training here
436
00:24:11,343 --> 00:24:13,900
and you're the only professional we know.
437
00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:18,433
- Long before I was a
celebrity baby nanny guru,
438
00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:25,370
I did some time in
Southeast Asia as a preacher
439
00:24:26,450 --> 00:24:29,100
and I did some exorcisms there.
440
00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:32,910
I think there are dark
forces at work here.
441
00:24:32,910 --> 00:24:37,720
That thing in there is an
absolute cauldron of evil.
442
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:42,243
So I think we're gonna have
to perform an exorcism.
443
00:24:43,330 --> 00:24:46,191
- You don't think are baby's
possessed by demons, do you?
444
00:24:46,191 --> 00:24:47,380
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
445
00:24:47,380 --> 00:24:49,390
You used to be an exorcist preacher?
446
00:24:49,390 --> 00:24:50,670
Why did you stop?
447
00:24:50,670 --> 00:24:53,680
- Well, I was fired selling
dope in a nun's outfit.
448
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,250
That is immaterial.
449
00:24:58,731 --> 00:25:00,307
- You sure this is gonna work?
450
00:25:00,307 --> 00:25:02,060
- No, it should.
451
00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:07,060
Just remember, he who doth
tamper with the forces of nature
452
00:25:09,084 --> 00:25:12,605
open the door to disaster.
453
00:25:12,605 --> 00:25:15,188
(Roy laughing)
454
00:25:24,455 --> 00:25:26,377
- What was that?
455
00:25:26,377 --> 00:25:27,550
- Just a little saying
456
00:25:27,550 --> 00:25:30,040
we used to say at the Brotherhood
of the Foreign Exorcism.
457
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:30,897
No biggie.
458
00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:38,563
Let's see.
459
00:25:38,563 --> 00:25:42,480
(speaking in foreign language)
460
00:25:53,072 --> 00:25:56,155
(Baby Cakes yelling)
461
00:26:07,798 --> 00:26:10,965
(Baby Cakes growling)
462
00:26:15,778 --> 00:26:16,611
- You know what?
463
00:26:16,611 --> 00:26:20,049
I may have chanted the
wrong phrase in Latin.
464
00:26:20,049 --> 00:26:25,049
So I may have just invited
Satan into his vessel.
465
00:26:27,108 --> 00:26:28,608
- Yes, I am Satan.
466
00:26:29,947 --> 00:26:33,203
Come to me, come here, come here.
467
00:26:33,203 --> 00:26:34,734
Come here, come here.
468
00:26:34,734 --> 00:26:37,234
(all yelling)
469
00:26:43,666 --> 00:26:45,090
- Who's gonna change my diaper?
470
00:26:45,090 --> 00:26:47,586
I'm covered in shit.
471
00:26:47,586 --> 00:26:49,102
Come to me.
472
00:26:49,102 --> 00:26:50,421
Come here.
473
00:26:50,421 --> 00:26:52,531
- Hey, hey, hey.
474
00:26:52,531 --> 00:26:54,114
Let me the fuck in!
475
00:26:55,844 --> 00:26:57,833
- Who's gonna change my diaper?
476
00:26:57,833 --> 00:26:59,627
I have a big old shit.
477
00:26:59,627 --> 00:27:01,544
Now let me the fuck in!
478
00:27:06,810 --> 00:27:08,150
- Thanks Mr. Roy.
479
00:27:08,150 --> 00:27:09,990
You've done everything we hoped you'd do.
480
00:27:09,990 --> 00:27:14,223
- All the years of practicing Satanism.
481
00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:19,393
- What the hell, are you talking about?
482
00:27:20,406 --> 00:27:23,106
- We brought you here because
of your exorcism powers.
483
00:27:29,051 --> 00:27:30,120
(Buddy laughing)
484
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:33,460
Now me, Buddy and Satan's Baby Cakes
485
00:27:33,460 --> 00:27:34,540
will take over the world
486
00:27:34,540 --> 00:27:37,013
and everyone will bow down to us.
487
00:27:37,013 --> 00:27:39,680
(both laughing)
488
00:27:45,725 --> 00:27:47,313
- Fuck me!
489
00:27:51,950 --> 00:27:54,560
- All right, well "Baby Cakes" is done.
490
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,090
Don't you love when the Satan
worshipers win in the end?
491
00:27:57,090 --> 00:27:59,840
I do, it brings a tear to my brown eye.
492
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,613
All right, I'll do the next one.
493
00:28:08,860 --> 00:28:10,330
Oh, "Bloody Hell."
494
00:28:10,330 --> 00:28:11,953
We're watching "Bloody Hell".
495
00:28:16,976 --> 00:28:19,643
(ominous music)
496
00:28:41,596 --> 00:28:44,679
(car engine roaring)
497
00:28:55,990 --> 00:28:57,690
- What's this place like, Jake?
498
00:28:57,690 --> 00:29:00,260
- [Jake] Well, it's a
little hard to get through,
499
00:29:00,260 --> 00:29:03,220
but we got a little over 200 acres.
500
00:29:03,220 --> 00:29:05,163
So perfect to camp.
501
00:29:09,220 --> 00:29:10,170
- Are we there yet?
502
00:29:12,930 --> 00:29:15,873
- No, about maybe 40 more miles.
503
00:29:19,689 --> 00:29:22,189
(dog barking)
504
00:29:24,652 --> 00:29:27,235
(Jake yelling)
505
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,563
- Max, get your damn dog off me.
506
00:29:40,401 --> 00:29:45,234
Why don't you pay more attention
to that fleabag of yours?
507
00:29:47,216 --> 00:29:49,340
- You really think it was a good idea
508
00:29:49,340 --> 00:29:50,460
to bring that dog along?
509
00:29:50,460 --> 00:29:53,283
- Of course, she's the
best oil tracker around.
510
00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:20,180
- I need you guys to wait right here
511
00:30:20,180 --> 00:30:21,390
while I take a look around.
512
00:30:21,390 --> 00:30:24,240
I just gotta make sure that
we're on the right property.
513
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:25,073
All right?
514
00:30:26,284 --> 00:30:28,970
While I'm gone, can you
guys unload the stuff?
515
00:30:28,970 --> 00:30:29,803
- Yeah.
516
00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:33,230
- I won't be long.
517
00:30:58,210 --> 00:30:59,043
- We'll get the stuff.
518
00:30:59,043 --> 00:31:00,263
- We'll get the stuff, okay?
519
00:31:19,017 --> 00:31:22,071
(leaves crunching)
520
00:31:22,071 --> 00:31:24,738
(ominous music)
521
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,343
(Jake yelling)
522
00:31:59,410 --> 00:32:00,350
I'm back.
523
00:32:00,350 --> 00:32:02,530
Yeah, we're on the right property.
524
00:32:02,530 --> 00:32:04,646
I'll help you with that.
525
00:32:04,646 --> 00:32:05,479
Where did Max go?
526
00:32:05,479 --> 00:32:06,730
- He went to take a leak.
527
00:32:07,856 --> 00:32:09,456
- Did he bring his dog with him?
528
00:32:11,030 --> 00:32:11,863
- I think.
529
00:32:11,863 --> 00:32:12,900
- Yeah.
530
00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:13,750
- It's messed up.
531
00:32:17,941 --> 00:32:20,140
Okay, we'll be able to start prospecting
532
00:32:20,140 --> 00:32:21,296
for some oil!
533
00:32:21,296 --> 00:32:22,129
- Woo!
534
00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:25,096
- I think that's all of it.
535
00:32:25,096 --> 00:32:26,333
- Okay.
536
00:32:27,940 --> 00:32:28,868
- Let's go.
537
00:32:28,868 --> 00:32:29,701
- Okay.
538
00:32:29,701 --> 00:32:30,534
- Yo, Max!
539
00:32:36,054 --> 00:32:38,721
(ominous music)
540
00:32:43,094 --> 00:32:45,080
This should be far enough.
541
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,150
Emily, you dropped the shovel.
542
00:32:48,150 --> 00:32:50,360
Go out there, and pitch a tent.
543
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,293
- Thanks, see you in a bit.
544
00:32:54,967 --> 00:32:58,403
- We should be up there
in about two hours.
545
00:32:59,836 --> 00:33:01,873
- [Emily] Thanks.
546
00:33:01,873 --> 00:33:02,706
- Great.
547
00:33:06,180 --> 00:33:08,373
- It looks like a good
spot to start digging, men.
548
00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:15,653
- Oh, my hands are freezing.
549
00:33:15,653 --> 00:33:17,925
- My hands are also freezing.
550
00:33:17,925 --> 00:33:19,063
- All right.
551
00:33:19,063 --> 00:33:21,230
(mumbles)
552
00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:26,669
And if you wanna take a break you can.
553
00:33:29,794 --> 00:33:32,442
Okay, Jeff, let's start.
554
00:33:32,442 --> 00:33:35,025
(shovel thuds)
555
00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:50,109
(ominous music)
556
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:05,800
- Oh, sorry.
557
00:34:09,112 --> 00:34:11,070
- Did you hear something?
558
00:34:11,070 --> 00:34:12,820
- No, just a feeling.
559
00:34:17,020 --> 00:34:19,340
Max, can you get the oil rods ready?
560
00:34:19,340 --> 00:34:20,270
We're getting deep.
561
00:34:20,270 --> 00:34:21,103
- [Max] Yeah.
562
00:34:24,949 --> 00:34:27,617
(rods clanging)
563
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,920
Pretty soon, the filtration will kick in.
564
00:34:35,540 --> 00:34:38,270
Hurry, we've implanted the oil rod.
565
00:34:38,270 --> 00:34:39,820
- What about the reinforcement?
566
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:46,902
We've got to pack this in, all right?
567
00:34:49,862 --> 00:34:52,110
Tomorrow, we'll try and
transplant the stuff.
568
00:34:52,110 --> 00:34:56,123
The oil out of the ground, into our bags.
569
00:34:57,450 --> 00:35:00,193
Hope Emily's got some nice
big supper ready for us.
570
00:35:02,670 --> 00:35:03,620
Your idiot, sister.
571
00:35:04,510 --> 00:35:06,620
I don't even know why
we brought her along.
572
00:35:06,620 --> 00:35:09,110
Jake, Max, we had better
head back to the tent.
573
00:35:09,110 --> 00:35:11,070
It's gonna be dark soon.
574
00:35:11,070 --> 00:35:12,808
- All right
575
00:35:12,808 --> 00:35:16,968
Let's do that.
576
00:35:16,968 --> 00:35:19,968
(suspenseful music)
577
00:35:23,745 --> 00:35:26,493
(soft rock music)
578
00:35:26,493 --> 00:35:30,493
(leaves rustling and crunching)
579
00:35:57,479 --> 00:35:59,979
(dog barking)
580
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:09,865
- [Jake] Hey, Jeff.
581
00:36:09,865 --> 00:36:10,972
- [Jeff] What?
582
00:36:10,972 --> 00:36:12,827
- [Jake] I think I heard
something out there.
583
00:36:12,827 --> 00:36:14,418
Can you check it out?
584
00:36:14,418 --> 00:36:16,430
- [Jeff] Yeah.
585
00:36:16,430 --> 00:36:18,930
(eerie music)
586
00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:50,583
- Jake?
587
00:36:51,439 --> 00:36:52,540
- [Jake] Yeah?
588
00:36:52,540 --> 00:36:53,593
- Shine your light.
589
00:37:09,249 --> 00:37:10,582
What time is it?
590
00:37:15,074 --> 00:37:15,907
- 2:30.
591
00:37:19,449 --> 00:37:20,616
Where's Emily?
592
00:37:21,528 --> 00:37:24,111
(Jake yelling)
593
00:37:39,398 --> 00:37:40,481
Get out, run!
594
00:37:50,557 --> 00:37:53,140
(Jake yelling)
595
00:38:12,103 --> 00:38:14,686
(Jake yelling)
596
00:38:27,244 --> 00:38:29,744
(hammer thud)
597
00:38:33,009 --> 00:38:33,926
No, no, no!
598
00:38:34,839 --> 00:38:38,089
(Jake yelling in pain)
599
00:38:42,016 --> 00:38:44,516
(dog barking)
600
00:38:52,902 --> 00:38:55,902
(murderer growling)
601
00:39:03,815 --> 00:39:06,565
(blade slashing)
602
00:39:18,095 --> 00:39:21,012
(murderer chewing)
603
00:39:38,689 --> 00:39:41,189
(Jay gagging)
604
00:39:42,458 --> 00:39:45,208
(blade slashing)
605
00:39:53,267 --> 00:39:55,934
(ominous music)
606
00:40:01,052 --> 00:40:03,802
(blade slashing)
607
00:40:32,147 --> 00:40:35,064
(murderer chewing)
608
00:41:06,638 --> 00:41:09,305
(ominous music)
609
00:41:45,385 --> 00:41:47,718
(whistling)
610
00:41:58,043 --> 00:42:00,543
(shovel thud)
611
00:42:02,670 --> 00:42:05,670
(murderer growling)
612
00:42:16,809 --> 00:42:19,309
(Max yelling)
613
00:42:22,306 --> 00:42:24,806
(Max gagging)
614
00:42:34,591 --> 00:42:37,091
(Max yelling)
615
00:42:48,513 --> 00:42:51,180
(ominous music)
616
00:43:00,592 --> 00:43:03,592
(murderer growling)
617
00:43:24,593 --> 00:43:27,343
(dramatic music)
618
00:43:51,905 --> 00:43:54,905
(murderer growling)
619
00:44:02,313 --> 00:44:05,063
(blade slashing)
620
00:44:11,847 --> 00:44:14,847
(murderer growling)
621
00:44:43,861 --> 00:44:46,778
(murderer gagging)
622
00:45:06,193 --> 00:45:08,943
(birds chirping)
623
00:45:33,371 --> 00:45:35,884
- Oh, what a happy ending.
624
00:45:35,884 --> 00:45:38,793
That morbidly obese bowser
lost weight the easy way.
625
00:45:46,020 --> 00:45:48,600
And this next one is "The Prom."
626
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,190
Starring Don and Murph.
627
00:45:50,190 --> 00:45:51,393
Good find, Oats.
628
00:45:54,968 --> 00:45:57,635
(ominous music)
629
00:46:24,169 --> 00:46:25,353
- Mail for me!
630
00:46:25,353 --> 00:46:26,353
Mail for me!
631
00:46:36,926 --> 00:46:38,200
Murph, Murph, we got a letter, a letter.
632
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:41,060
Our very first letter.
633
00:46:41,060 --> 00:46:43,490
- No, Don, you mean our second letter?
634
00:46:43,490 --> 00:46:45,100
Don't you remember the first one we got?
635
00:46:45,100 --> 00:46:47,099
You know, the one from the Mormon.
636
00:46:47,099 --> 00:46:49,890
- Murph, I don't know
what you're talking about.
637
00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:51,730
I forget things within hours.
638
00:46:51,730 --> 00:46:53,920
Sometimes within minutes.
639
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,380
Oh Don, that's fine.
640
00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:57,923
Some people remember
things better than others.
641
00:46:59,010 --> 00:46:59,843
- What?
642
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,473
- Don, may I please see the letter?
643
00:47:04,426 --> 00:47:06,176
- What letter, Murph?
644
00:47:20,810 --> 00:47:22,330
- What's it say, what's it say Murph?
645
00:47:22,330 --> 00:47:23,237
What's it say?
646
00:47:24,153 --> 00:47:26,140
It says dear Don and Murph,
647
00:47:26,140 --> 00:47:27,610
we are pleased to inform you
648
00:47:27,610 --> 00:47:29,340
that you have been invited to
649
00:47:29,340 --> 00:47:31,395
a special prom just for you
650
00:47:31,395 --> 00:47:33,320
for an award ceremony
651
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,280
for all of the reviews that you've done
652
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,070
over the last few years,
653
00:47:38,070 --> 00:47:42,073
the award ceremony will be held
at Saskatchewan university.
654
00:47:44,050 --> 00:47:45,020
- Wow, Murph!
655
00:47:45,020 --> 00:47:48,023
What are we gonna wear to
such an auspicious occasion?
656
00:47:50,580 --> 00:47:51,800
- I don't know.
657
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,880
It should be something elegant yet snazzy,
658
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,023
but not too formal at the same time.
659
00:47:59,476 --> 00:48:01,903
- Let's just ask my parents, Murph.
660
00:48:03,010 --> 00:48:07,040
Mom, dad, me and Murph got
invited to a prom just for us!
661
00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:09,590
What should we wear to such
an auspicious occasion?
662
00:48:11,258 --> 00:48:12,293
- Oh, Don.
663
00:48:13,594 --> 00:48:15,763
- Auspicious, what the fuck it that?
664
00:48:16,860 --> 00:48:17,920
Prom?
665
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,720
Who gives a shit, you fat fuck.
666
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:22,980
Why don't you go to Omar the tent maker?
667
00:48:22,980 --> 00:48:25,420
See if he's got a a tent to fit your ass.
668
00:48:25,420 --> 00:48:27,070
That skinny bean pole,
669
00:48:27,070 --> 00:48:29,540
he can go as a goddamn pole.
670
00:48:29,540 --> 00:48:31,847
- I don't know, Don, don't ask me.
671
00:48:31,847 --> 00:48:34,440
And don't ask me for any more money.
672
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,130
I just spent the last of my money
673
00:48:36,130 --> 00:48:39,740
on my special shake making magic bullet.
674
00:48:39,740 --> 00:48:41,930
So don't ask me for anything.
675
00:48:41,930 --> 00:48:44,773
- Oh, come on, come on,
we need something, please.
676
00:48:46,221 --> 00:48:48,490
- Well, you know, on second thought,
677
00:48:48,490 --> 00:48:50,620
I think there's a tarp in the basement
678
00:48:50,620 --> 00:48:52,370
that I use to cover the car over
679
00:48:52,370 --> 00:48:54,420
when we went on trips.
680
00:48:54,420 --> 00:48:57,480
We could maybe make that fit your fat ass.
681
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:59,140
- That gives me a good idea.
682
00:48:59,140 --> 00:49:00,120
Why don't you get out
683
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,820
our old graduation gowns and wear them?
684
00:49:02,820 --> 00:49:05,700
That would be a perfect
thing to wear to the prom.
685
00:49:05,700 --> 00:49:07,400
- Yeah, yeah, he could wear those.
686
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:08,340
I don't know though.
687
00:49:08,340 --> 00:49:09,470
I don't think there's a hell,
688
00:49:09,470 --> 00:49:11,000
I don't think they're big enough.
689
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,860
Maybe get down to the church
and get the whole church choir.
690
00:49:14,860 --> 00:49:17,574
And sow them all together, that'd work.
691
00:49:17,574 --> 00:49:20,157
(upbeat music)
692
00:50:37,606 --> 00:50:40,106
(dance music)
693
00:51:38,658 --> 00:51:39,491
- Don!
694
00:51:40,925 --> 00:51:43,699
This is a little strange.
695
00:51:43,699 --> 00:51:45,931
I think I'm gonna walk around the halls
696
00:51:45,931 --> 00:51:49,461
and see if there's anyone else around.
697
00:51:49,461 --> 00:51:51,795
- Okay, Murph, have your fun.
698
00:51:51,795 --> 00:51:53,995
But come back soon.
699
00:51:53,995 --> 00:51:56,495
(dance music)
700
00:52:00,375 --> 00:52:03,042
(ominous music)
701
00:53:25,448 --> 00:53:27,948
(dance music)
702
00:53:32,745 --> 00:53:35,328
- Oh no, I have to take a shit!
703
00:53:38,772 --> 00:53:41,895
(Don yelling)
704
00:53:41,895 --> 00:53:44,562
(ominous music)
705
00:54:28,592 --> 00:54:31,660
Ah, someone's in here pooping.
706
00:54:31,660 --> 00:54:34,910
(door handle rattling)
707
00:54:47,236 --> 00:54:49,903
(intense music)
708
00:55:31,350 --> 00:55:34,267
(glass shattering)
709
00:55:38,670 --> 00:55:41,390
- Well, everyone, what a showdown.
710
00:55:41,390 --> 00:55:43,067
If only my prom were like that.
711
00:55:43,067 --> 00:55:45,200
The only action I saw
712
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:48,450
was a bunch of baby
fetuses in the toilets.
713
00:55:48,450 --> 00:55:50,040
Good times.
714
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,613
Onto the next one, "Caged Girl."
715
00:55:59,767 --> 00:56:02,434
(ominous music)
716
00:57:12,097 --> 00:57:14,513
- That's the girl of my dreams down there.
717
00:57:15,351 --> 00:57:17,443
I want so bad to be with her.
718
00:57:19,557 --> 00:57:22,163
But she'd never go for a guy like me.
719
00:57:23,770 --> 00:57:25,610
But she will be mine.
720
00:57:28,797 --> 00:57:31,464
(ominous music)
721
00:59:28,907 --> 00:59:30,490
- What's happening?
722
00:59:41,829 --> 00:59:42,662
- Oh no, no, it's okay.
723
00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:43,495
Don't be afraid.
724
00:59:43,495 --> 00:59:47,340
You see, I'm your new boyfriend?
725
00:59:47,340 --> 00:59:50,140
- Boyfriend, I don't know who the you are.
726
00:59:50,140 --> 00:59:52,733
So let me out of here
before I bite your dick off.
727
00:59:53,580 --> 00:59:55,650
- You're not going anyway.
728
00:59:55,650 --> 00:59:57,770
You're mine now.
729
00:59:57,770 --> 01:00:00,493
And I'm gonna do do
whatever I want with you.
730
01:00:01,332 --> 01:00:03,490
- If you don't let me out of
here my father will kill you.
731
01:00:03,490 --> 01:00:04,884
He knows karate.
732
01:00:04,884 --> 01:00:08,634
(man yelling kung-fu noises)
733
01:00:10,018 --> 01:00:10,851
- Karate?
734
01:00:13,710 --> 01:00:15,633
I ain't afraid of that shit.
735
01:00:19,250 --> 01:00:22,620
I'm going to bed, I'll see you tomorrow.
736
01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:27,620
When I see you tomorrow, you
better be a better girlfriend.
737
01:00:27,650 --> 01:00:31,984
Otherwise I don't even wanna say
738
01:00:31,984 --> 01:00:34,187
because I'm a good Christian.
739
01:00:36,384 --> 01:00:39,051
(ominous music)
740
01:01:01,884 --> 01:01:05,629
- I should make the Dame some breakfast.
741
01:01:05,629 --> 01:01:09,230
Yeah, and something
that'll make her smile.
742
01:01:09,230 --> 01:01:11,427
Make her allegiance tinkle.
743
01:01:14,035 --> 01:01:16,702
(ominous music)
744
01:02:14,908 --> 01:02:17,574
- Young one, young one.
745
01:02:17,574 --> 01:02:20,320
Awaken from your dream state.
746
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,553
I brought you something to munch on.
747
01:02:39,289 --> 01:02:41,872
(girl gagging)
748
01:02:52,290 --> 01:02:54,813
All that did was turn me on.
749
01:03:09,860 --> 01:03:11,470
You bitch.
750
01:03:11,470 --> 01:03:14,010
You stupid bitch.
751
01:03:14,010 --> 01:03:17,030
Just for that, you
don't get any more food.
752
01:03:17,030 --> 01:03:20,400
You don't get any bathroom,
or any shower or anything.
753
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:22,833
You're gonna piss yourself for all I care.
754
01:03:35,081 --> 01:03:37,623
That bitch, that stupid bitch.
755
01:03:38,970 --> 01:03:40,790
She doesn't like me.
756
01:03:40,790 --> 01:03:42,737
I'm gonna make her like me.
757
01:03:42,737 --> 01:03:44,807
I'm gonna make her like me.
758
01:03:44,807 --> 01:03:45,640
You know what?
759
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:46,973
I'm just gonna--
760
01:03:58,830 --> 01:04:01,530
All right, here's how it's gonna be.
761
01:04:01,530 --> 01:04:06,200
If you want privileges,
you have to treat me right.
762
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:10,163
You have to treat me
like a real boyfriend.
763
01:04:11,330 --> 01:04:12,580
That's it.
764
01:04:12,580 --> 01:04:14,160
That's it, that's all you gotta do.
765
01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:18,273
All you gotta do is treat
me like you really love me.
766
01:04:19,390 --> 01:04:20,730
Can you do that?
767
01:04:20,730 --> 01:04:22,797
Cause if not, then forget about it.
768
01:04:36,236 --> 01:04:39,536
(telephone ringing)
769
01:04:39,536 --> 01:04:40,820
- Hello.
770
01:04:40,820 --> 01:04:43,703
- Yeah, hey, Mr Peterson,
Patterson, I'm sorry.
771
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:45,920
It's been a busy day.
772
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:49,040
This is the office of Hanson
and Sons, the realtors.
773
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:50,030
We just wanted to make sure
774
01:04:50,030 --> 01:04:52,020
everything's working
out with your new house
775
01:04:52,020 --> 01:04:54,800
because we care here at Hanson and Sons.
776
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:55,640
This is what I do.
777
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:58,950
I follow up on all my
business transactions
778
01:04:58,950 --> 01:05:03,950
because I look forward
to a long relationship
779
01:05:04,172 --> 01:05:09,172
in the real estate realm
and continuing the business
780
01:05:09,690 --> 01:05:10,600
of our relationship,
781
01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:12,813
it's just absolutely tantamount.
782
01:05:14,219 --> 01:05:15,693
- Oh, the house is great.
783
01:05:15,693 --> 01:05:19,403
But I can't overlook the fact
that my daughters missing.
784
01:05:20,630 --> 01:05:21,850
- Yeah.
785
01:05:21,850 --> 01:05:25,010
Yeah, I'm really concerned
about that, but you know
786
01:05:25,010 --> 01:05:27,750
let me, let me just tell
you one father do another.
787
01:05:27,750 --> 01:05:29,649
Don't worry, she'll be back.
788
01:05:29,649 --> 01:05:30,990
Girls will be girls,
789
01:05:30,990 --> 01:05:32,640
plus they're all little bitches
790
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:34,190
and little fucking sluts anyway.
791
01:05:34,190 --> 01:05:36,590
Just probably out sucking
neighbors dog's dick.
792
01:05:36,590 --> 01:05:37,423
Little whore.
793
01:05:39,790 --> 01:05:41,890
Goodbye, Mr. Peterson, it
was nice talking to you.
794
01:05:41,890 --> 01:05:43,424
Just remember, you can always call
795
01:05:43,424 --> 01:05:47,633
the offices of Hanson and
Sons where we deeply care.
796
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:07,740
- Hey there.
797
01:06:07,740 --> 01:06:09,930
So, how you doing?
798
01:06:09,930 --> 01:06:12,290
- Oh, I'm doing fine.
799
01:06:12,290 --> 01:06:13,443
How about you?
800
01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:17,610
- I'm fine.
801
01:06:17,610 --> 01:06:21,280
So, are you ready to get physical now?
802
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:26,280
You know when I put my male
thing in your female thing?
803
01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:27,883
You know?
804
01:06:28,980 --> 01:06:33,980
- Oh no, I smell down there, like fish.
805
01:06:34,070 --> 01:06:39,070
I haven't had a shower in days
and my clothes are filthy.
806
01:06:40,750 --> 01:06:43,030
- Oh no, don't worry about it.
807
01:06:43,030 --> 01:06:45,270
Smells like that don't bother me.
808
01:06:45,270 --> 01:06:48,920
I love fish.
809
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,920
- Oh, well it bothers me quite much.
810
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:54,090
I want our first time to be special.
811
01:06:54,090 --> 01:06:55,537
Something erotic, something you see
812
01:06:55,537 --> 01:06:58,670
on one of those movies
on TV, late at night.
813
01:06:58,670 --> 01:07:00,927
I don't wanna smell terrible for you.
814
01:07:00,927 --> 01:07:03,023
You'll always remember that.
815
01:07:05,350 --> 01:07:07,823
- All right, I guess that
makes sense in a way.
816
01:07:10,250 --> 01:07:11,883
I really do love that smell.
817
01:07:12,890 --> 01:07:15,310
- So listen, I have an idea.
818
01:07:15,310 --> 01:07:16,720
How about this?
819
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:19,890
You let me go upstairs
and let me take a shower.
820
01:07:19,890 --> 01:07:21,760
Of course, you lock me in
821
01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:23,500
and while you lock me in the shower
822
01:07:23,500 --> 01:07:25,640
and I'm, you know, cleaning everything.
823
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:30,050
You go to the store and pick
me up some new accessories
824
01:07:30,050 --> 01:07:32,890
for females and some new clothes.
825
01:07:32,890 --> 01:07:33,723
How about it?
826
01:07:34,931 --> 01:07:36,580
- Huh?
827
01:07:36,580 --> 01:07:37,920
That sounds fine to me.
828
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:38,753
Let's go.
829
01:07:41,777 --> 01:07:44,444
(playful music)
830
01:08:58,505 --> 01:09:01,505
There you go, that's what I got you.
831
01:09:11,351 --> 01:09:14,434
(suspenseful music)
832
01:09:32,032 --> 01:09:36,469
So, you're all washed
up, no more fish smell.
833
01:09:36,469 --> 01:09:40,889
Nice, squeaky clean, new
clothes, feminine accessories.
834
01:09:40,889 --> 01:09:43,660
You're ready to get physical now?
835
01:09:43,660 --> 01:09:44,983
- Oh, I can't.
836
01:09:47,550 --> 01:09:48,880
- Why not?
837
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:50,250
I've done everything for you
838
01:09:50,250 --> 01:09:52,819
and given you everything you've asked for.
839
01:09:52,819 --> 01:09:54,112
What else could there be?
840
01:09:55,889 --> 01:09:58,920
- Well, I was thinking
about you in the shower
841
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:02,593
and I was feeling myself,
if you know what I mean?
842
01:10:04,330 --> 01:10:08,243
- Well, I'm not really sure, but continue.
843
01:10:09,710 --> 01:10:12,740
- What I'm saying is, I'm
all dried up and prunish.
844
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:18,723
- All right, I'm gonna go in
my room and play with myself.
845
01:10:21,702 --> 01:10:22,535
I was so ready.
846
01:10:27,318 --> 01:10:29,495
(ominous music)
847
01:10:29,495 --> 01:10:31,245
I must dream tonight.
848
01:10:52,273 --> 01:10:55,273
(suspenseful music)
849
01:10:57,520 --> 01:11:00,980
Hey, baby, you ready now?
850
01:11:00,980 --> 01:11:02,713
- Oh boy, I'm ready.
851
01:11:20,829 --> 01:11:24,460
- Oh, you're making me so horny.
852
01:11:24,460 --> 01:11:27,027
Oh, you're making me so wet.
853
01:11:28,321 --> 01:11:33,321
Oh baby, oh baby.
854
01:11:36,253 --> 01:11:40,213
Oh, you don't know what
you're doing to me.
855
01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:43,213
(suspenseful music)
856
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:50,073
Over here.
857
01:11:55,291 --> 01:11:57,209
Kiss me, baby, kiss me.
858
01:11:59,032 --> 01:12:02,178
(intense music)
859
01:12:02,178 --> 01:12:05,011
(girl screaming)
860
01:12:12,430 --> 01:12:16,263
- Gazooks, truly one of
my all time favorites.
861
01:12:18,210 --> 01:12:21,303
That hottie had all the men after her.
862
01:12:22,330 --> 01:12:25,750
I'm surprised you all managed
to stick around in one piece.
863
01:12:25,750 --> 01:12:27,850
Well, this next one will definitely
864
01:12:27,850 --> 01:12:29,793
leave a bad taste in your mouth.
865
01:12:30,969 --> 01:12:32,362
It's "A Pain In The Gums."
866
01:12:41,496 --> 01:12:44,164
(ominous music)
867
01:12:48,154 --> 01:12:50,737
(gentle music)
868
01:13:32,846 --> 01:13:36,096
- What the hell is wrong with my mouth?
869
01:13:51,457 --> 01:13:53,540
- [Bacteria] Hello, Evan!
870
01:13:56,761 --> 01:13:57,594
- Hello?
871
01:13:58,585 --> 01:14:01,335
- [Bacteria] I said hello, dummy!
872
01:14:03,202 --> 01:14:04,535
- I said, hello.
873
01:14:05,645 --> 01:14:06,976
- [Bacteria] Well, my name's Beth.
874
01:14:06,976 --> 01:14:09,663
And I'm the bacteria inside of your mouth.
875
01:14:09,663 --> 01:14:10,950
And I don't have any place to go
876
01:14:10,950 --> 01:14:14,673
so I'm gonna stay here and
eat out your gum, okay?
877
01:14:16,198 --> 01:14:17,365
- In my mouth?
878
01:14:18,213 --> 01:14:20,817
I must have accidentally
ingested some LSD or something
879
01:14:20,817 --> 01:14:23,922
because this is not possible.
880
01:14:23,922 --> 01:14:26,969
- [Bacteria] Well, it certainly
is not an hallucination.
881
01:14:26,969 --> 01:14:28,653
- Well, then what the hell is it?
882
01:14:28,653 --> 01:14:30,179
Where are you?
883
01:14:30,179 --> 01:14:32,400
- [] I'm the bacteria that's living inside
884
01:14:32,400 --> 01:14:35,853
your dirty water from last night.
885
01:14:35,853 --> 01:14:38,300
- The water from the sink?
886
01:14:38,300 --> 01:14:40,663
Oh, am I so calling my landlord.
887
01:14:41,639 --> 01:14:43,204
- [Bacteria] Don't be so drastic.
888
01:14:43,204 --> 01:14:46,411
As long as you keep me
fed, you'll be good.
889
01:14:46,411 --> 01:14:47,994
- Look, look, look.
890
01:14:48,869 --> 01:14:50,120
I'm gonna humor you,
891
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:53,000
even though I think I'm
really loosing it right now.
892
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:54,724
I've gotta be out of my mind.
893
01:14:54,724 --> 01:14:57,090
Listen, this is gonna be a problem for me
894
01:14:57,090 --> 01:15:00,010
because I've got a really
important interview
895
01:15:00,010 --> 01:15:02,010
and I can't have you murmuring
896
01:15:02,010 --> 01:15:03,950
inside of my head the whole time.
897
01:15:03,950 --> 01:15:05,719
You're giving me a headache.
898
01:15:05,719 --> 01:15:07,780
- [] You're just gonna
have to get used of me
899
01:15:07,780 --> 01:15:09,773
because I'm not going anyway baby.
900
01:15:11,099 --> 01:15:12,739
That breakfast burrito was pretty good
901
01:15:12,739 --> 01:15:15,379
but next time, don't use anymore chilli.
902
01:15:15,379 --> 01:15:17,350
That ruins everything.
903
01:15:17,350 --> 01:15:18,900
- Shut up!
904
01:15:18,900 --> 01:15:21,343
Jesus Christ, I'm talking to my mouth.
905
01:15:22,770 --> 01:15:24,400
I'm really loosing it this time.
906
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:26,666
You're really loosing it this time.
907
01:15:26,666 --> 01:15:30,813
You're fucking batshit crazy. (laughing)
908
01:15:33,570 --> 01:15:34,403
Gotta get it together.
909
01:15:34,403 --> 01:15:36,380
Get it together, get it together.
910
01:15:36,380 --> 01:15:38,770
You are not helping.
911
01:15:38,770 --> 01:15:40,820
Just be quiet.
912
01:15:40,820 --> 01:15:43,943
This interview is very important to me.
913
01:15:45,751 --> 01:15:47,519
- [Bacteria] Jobs are for losers.
914
01:15:47,519 --> 01:15:50,602
(bacteria murmuring)
915
01:15:54,561 --> 01:15:58,040
- [Interviewer] To our
next on the chopping block.
916
01:15:58,040 --> 01:15:58,873
- Hi.
917
01:16:00,370 --> 01:16:01,870
- Hey, how are you sir?
918
01:16:01,870 --> 01:16:04,120
Oh, Mr. Paisley.
919
01:16:04,120 --> 01:16:06,880
Oh, it seems, you've been unemployed
920
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:08,710
for the last four years.
921
01:16:08,710 --> 01:16:13,710
- Well, yeah, but I've been
doing a lot of volunteer work
922
01:16:16,509 --> 01:16:17,983
and I babysit a lot.
923
01:16:19,324 --> 01:16:23,490
- Well, that makes up for
a fun-filled four years.
924
01:16:23,490 --> 01:16:25,700
- I've always kind of, you know,
925
01:16:25,700 --> 01:16:28,110
wanted to be in broadcasting.
926
01:16:28,110 --> 01:16:29,820
Shut the up fuck up!
927
01:16:29,820 --> 01:16:30,889
- [Interviewer] Excuse me?
928
01:16:30,889 --> 01:16:32,040
Who are you talking to?
929
01:16:33,288 --> 01:16:35,023
- Who was I talking to?
930
01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:37,993
Oh, nobody.
931
01:16:37,993 --> 01:16:39,820
I wasn't talking to anybody.
932
01:16:39,820 --> 01:16:41,243
Shut the fuck up!
933
01:16:42,567 --> 01:16:44,294
- Did you just tell me
to shut the fuck up?
934
01:16:44,294 --> 01:16:46,610
- No, no, no, I didn't.
935
01:16:46,610 --> 01:16:49,280
I didn't say, I didn't say anything.
936
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:52,690
No, go, go on, you were saying.
937
01:16:52,690 --> 01:16:54,219
- Well, my father's been
running this company
938
01:16:54,219 --> 01:16:56,053
for the last 22 years.
939
01:16:57,389 --> 01:16:59,600
Okay, you know what you
ungrateful piece of trash?
940
01:16:59,600 --> 01:17:00,914
Get the hell out of my office.
941
01:17:00,914 --> 01:17:02,746
- [ ] Have a nice day!
942
01:17:03,809 --> 01:17:05,243
- Fuck my life!
943
01:17:06,271 --> 01:17:07,103
- What a fucking nut job.
944
01:17:07,103 --> 01:17:09,450
I'd never hire anyone
with those work ethics.
945
01:17:09,450 --> 01:17:11,753
Time to get back to business.
946
01:17:14,248 --> 01:17:17,393
- [Bacteria] Step inside, you're
letting all the flies out.
947
01:17:17,393 --> 01:17:19,505
- Shut up!
948
01:17:19,505 --> 01:17:20,385
- [Bacteria] You gotta eat.
949
01:17:20,385 --> 01:17:21,849
- I don't wanna eat.
950
01:17:21,849 --> 01:17:23,761
You got to hell!
951
01:17:23,761 --> 01:17:25,677
- [Bacteria] You can't starve me.
952
01:17:25,677 --> 01:17:27,833
- If I don't get rid of you now
953
01:17:27,833 --> 01:17:30,197
I'm gonna starve you until you die.
954
01:17:30,197 --> 01:17:33,909
I'm gonna fucking spit you
back out into the sink.
955
01:17:33,909 --> 01:17:35,675
You fucking bitch!
956
01:17:35,675 --> 01:17:37,029
- [Bacteria] Hurry up and feed me.
957
01:17:37,029 --> 01:17:40,141
- I don't wanna feed you, leave me alone.
958
01:17:40,141 --> 01:17:40,974
No!
959
01:17:42,781 --> 01:17:43,614
Okay fine!
960
01:17:44,893 --> 01:17:46,858
That's it, I've had it!
961
01:17:46,858 --> 01:17:49,941
(bacteria murmuring)
962
01:17:58,723 --> 01:18:01,263
(gagging)
963
01:18:01,263 --> 01:18:03,013
I can still hear you!
964
01:18:09,719 --> 01:18:13,387
Goddammit, that's it,
I'm gonna fuck you up!
965
01:18:22,117 --> 01:18:25,117
(bacteria mumbling)
966
01:18:45,764 --> 01:18:46,598
Fuck you!
967
01:18:51,114 --> 01:18:54,447
(guy screaming in pain)
968
01:19:01,934 --> 01:19:04,934
It's time to bring out the big guns.
969
01:19:16,552 --> 01:19:19,094
- [Bacteria] Fine, do whatever you want.
970
01:19:19,094 --> 01:19:21,844
(drill whirring)
971
01:19:41,534 --> 01:19:44,034
(guy gagging)
972
01:19:53,809 --> 01:19:56,690
- Oh, how I love talking gum diseases.
973
01:19:56,690 --> 01:20:00,120
Just last week, I had
a periodontal disease
974
01:20:00,120 --> 01:20:01,943
in a Gingivitis milkshake.
975
01:20:03,737 --> 01:20:05,520
- I wanna watch another movie.
976
01:20:06,800 --> 01:20:08,719
- So sad, it's all done.
977
01:20:08,719 --> 01:20:11,170
The show is all over.
978
01:20:11,170 --> 01:20:13,637
We have to get going to our second job.
979
01:20:13,637 --> 01:20:16,219
(boy yelling)
980
01:20:28,370 --> 01:20:30,303
- Let's get the fuck outta here.
981
01:20:31,420 --> 01:20:34,003
(upbeat music)
67987
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