All language subtitles for You.Me.Her.S04E10.Who.We.Are.and.Who.We.Arent.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP.5.1.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

Previously on "You Me Her"...

There was this very
s-specific moment

the other night
behind the hedge.The Almost Kiss?

Is that Nathan?
What the fuck, Iz?

Is Coach Remi right?
Do you want to see other people?

Do you have any sequel ideas
for me?

I mean, you're the writer
in the family.

Could you help --Dick.

Are you seriously asking me
to take out that bag of trash?

Uh...I quit, okay?

Good luck finding another
bartender with a PhD.

Fun fact --
seven of the applicants.

Oh, Jesus, really?

I'm the victim.
Shaun did this to me.

By getting his shit together?

Naming his bar after you?

Being really good at sex?

I've been thinking about
Dad a lot lately.

Just -- He was such a cool guy,
you know?

Like, he could just
attract friends like flies.

Every weekend,
the basement was packed.

How do you become a guy
like that?

Why don't you just tell us
why we're here?

Everything he thinks he knows
about his own upbringing

is a lie.

He needs to know the truth
about his dad

to understand Mom.

Jack.

Mom.

♪♪

♪♪

You gonna go first?

Out here
in the cold and damp?

You're still trying to kill me,
huh?

Come on.

Let's chat over
a proper cocktail

while Ding and Dong
cook me one of my recipes

like it's some kind of tribute
to serve me food

I make better at home.

I won't be staying
for dinner.
Oh, come on!

Let's have two
proper cocktails.

I'm better at pretending I like
things when I'm half in the bag,

especially people,
but also food.

[ Insects chirping ]

We need to talk, Jack.

That's why I came.
It's why I'm here.

I just need to say what
I'm gonna say, and then I'll go.

I'm having twins.

So I guess I actually
do have balls.

Fuck it, I'm just here to ask
you will you come to our party

on Saturday night?

Kid, I was coming whether you
liked it or not, so thank you.

Gabe: Mom!What?

Is that Jack-off Trakarsky?

Since when can you talk
and make a decent Manhattan

at the same
goddamn time?

Witch.
Fucktard!

Wow. You two have
a good thing going.

Ah, don't we?

Okay, well...

♪♪

♪♪

[ Scoffs ][ Door closes ]

That seems about right.

♪♪

Okay, girls,
always remember this --

if you never fall,

you'll never learn
how to get back up.

And you're gonna fall a lot
'cause you're a Trakarsky,

and we fall a lot.

I'm your dad, by the way.

What are you doing?Jesus, Batgirl.

Clear your throat
or something.

Izzy:
What's going on in there?

He's practicing
his dad face.

[ Chuckles ]
It's pretty adorable.

Well, I love adorable things.

So get your ass back in here.

[ Grunts ]

So, tell us your dad's
other wisdom nuggets

besides the, um,
the falling down thing.

I remember that one...Mm-hmm.

...and then something
about standing closer

to the toilet when you pee.[ Laughs ]

You are gonna be
an amazing dad,

and you're gonna craft
way better wisdom

than "stand close to pee"

and "if you fall,
remember to get back up."It's true.

Jizzy and Jamma are going
to bore the shit

out of their future partners

with exaggerated tales
of your fatherly exploits.

You know, I always felt like
there was something more

that he was trying
to tell me.

Um, we have our consultation
at Bill's Baby Shop today.

Remember?Babe, that's the whitest
sentence ever.

[ Cellphone ringing, buzzing ]Oh.

It's mine.

Oh!
It's your partner in crime.

Shut up.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

Hey, Nathan.
What's up?

You're leaving?

But it's the middle
of the semester.

He's leaving Hawthorne?

What is he, in love with you
or something?

[ Door closes ]What?

Why would you say that?

No.
No, no, no, no, no.

Iz...

No, babe,
I was saying no.

It was just weird that
you would say that.

You're being crazy.

Okay.Yeah.

[ Door opens ]Hey.

He's going to California
at the border

to work with
those kids in cages

who are separated
from their parents.

Wow.
He's really doing it.

Good on him, right?

Totally.

Yeah.

Um, well, I'm glad he has time
to save the world

because this gal
has got party errands to run.

Hey, Iz?

Yeah.

You know when Nathan...

almost kissed you
on that security camera?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep.

Did you want him to?

No.

Look, Iz, you're right.

We're all gonna have to
make compromises, for sure.

But we just really want you
to be happy.

Yeah, this whole thing
doesn't work if you aren't.

Well, I am.

I promise.
Okay?

So have fun with Bill
and his bougie-ass cribs.

I have party planning to do.
You guys won't be disappointed.

Okay?

♪♪

[ Ringing ]

[ Cellphone ringing, buzzing ]

Hey.

Are you kidding me
with that incredible book idea?

Reiko Robin learns the value
of diversity and tolerance

when an evil cockatoo
with an orange comb-over

blames all the migrant birds for
pooping on all the nice cars?

And that romance angle?

Birds may have brains
the size of insects,

but their hearts are as big
as the Idaho sky!

Carmen, you saved my ass.
I'm serious.

Uh, my heart has wings
for you.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Sweetheart?I almost didn't send it.

What? What do you mean,
you almost didn't send it?
What are you talking about?

Because I just recently
concluded

that fulfillment
wasn't enough,

and I wanted the gold star,
the smiley face, the spotlight.

I wanted you to be the wind
beneath my sheets for once.

So I wished for my own husband
to not only crash and burn

but also shit his pants
on the way down.

Oh, my.

Carmen, that is quite dark
and jarringly thorough.

Have I been
that much of a dick?

I feel certain
that no one else

has written and sold
a children's book

with less effort.
[ Laughs ]

And, all of a sudden,
now you're just regaling moms

in strip mall bookstores
up and down the West Coast,

and I can't even get
a local awards nomination

with so many categories,
one is literally called

Best Condiment Blog.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, that's real?Here's the thing, Dave.

I'm an undercover asshole,

and, uh, everybody thinks
I'm the nice one,

but I-I know better.

Okay,
then I'm gonna say this.

Uh, uh, women get saddled
with this morally pristine

Earth mother bullshit
that just is completely unfair

and unattainable
and unhealthy

that makes actual Earth angels
like you feel like shit.

Really?

Hey, listen, I have wished
for you

to have explosive,
debilitating diarrhea

just for being better
than me at Pictionary.Oh, Dave.

There are at least five pets
in our neighborhood

who are better than you
at Pictionary.

Yeah, listen, I-I am not okay
without you, all right?

And you are the best writer
this family has.

I don't even need to say that,
quite frankly.

And you know what? I'm getting
you a cowriter credit,
all right?

And next time, we're doing
this book tour together.

Callie: Finished, Mommy!
Wipe my bum-bum!

Well, FaceTime's going hard R
at 8:00 sharp tonight.

Ya feel me?
Oh!

Uh, yas queen!

Ugh, make it 8:30.

I'm gonna need a half-hour
to forget you said that.

Mommy, I sat on Lily,
and now she's poopy, too!

You be brave, my love.

Okay.
Come home soon.

♪♪

Uh, what the fuck?

Well, I hope your exit lines are
better than your entry lines.

Why would you call Jack to tell
him that you were leaving?

Didn't you get the e-mail blast?
It went out to the whole school.

Oh, really?
How about -- How about --

How about this e-mail blast?
Or h-how about this one?

Wow, you're -- you're
flipping me off

for helping children who have
been ripped from their parents

and held in cages.

Well, you should pack linen,
Izzy,

'cause, uh, the forecast in Hell
calls for extreme heat

and intermittent
lapping flames.
Okay.

Let's pretend for a moment
that your reasons for leaving

have nothing to do with me.
Let's do that.

You know, it's like
we say a-at Grigio --

I'm getting hints
of egocentricity

with bass notes
of narcissism.

Oh, fuck your weird white
wine bar.

You don't have to leave just
because, you know, because --

W-We...Okay, this should be good.

I believe
we can be friends.

That's what I came here
to say.

Jack and Emma would never
be okay with that.

Well, then that's too bad
for them.

Neither will I.

Look, since we met, I-I exist
in one of two states --

with you
and waiting to see you.

Nathan, you've known me
for, like, less than a month.

Yeah. It took me
about four days

to realize
I was in love with you.

It took a lot longer
than that

to accept that you are in love
with the Trakarskys.

I'll quit.
You stay, I'll go.

Look, we -- we both know
you can't do that.

You're gonna
lose the house.

Kind of all-or-nothing
for you guys now, huh?

Is that by your own design,
or, I don't know, just theirs?

Oh, we're being dicks now?

Okay. Let's be dicks.

How about you quit pretending
to pack

and stop acting like a spoiled
brat who didn't get his way?

I'm sorry I-I can't
spare the time.

I wasted too much
of that already --

being angry at a wife
who never loved me,

working a job
I never really loved,

pining after you.

Izzy, I want to do something
with my life that matters,

and I want to matter
to someone.

You matter to me.

You -- You helped me realize
that I have a life out there --

my life, my journey.

My only regret is, uh,
I just --

I couldn't make you see that
that's true for you.

[ Scoffs ]

Later, friend.

Fuck off, Nathan.

♪♪

For the record, I am different
from all these bougie assholes

because I am self-aware,
which, you know, makes it okay.

It's more than okay.

It's everything
I've ever wanted.

You know,
I think, um...

You think what?

Well, I think maybe
that's how Izzy feels.

You know, everything
we ever wanted --

the house we want, the babies
we want, the life we want.

Now we're here
without her.

[ Sighs ]

Although she did say
that we should be --

start doing --
Yeah, well,

she also got us
a pumpkin spice candle.

Doesn't mean
she suddenly likes it.

[ Chuckles ] I wish she never
said that human shit thing.

I know.
Gets in your head, right?

Yes.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

What are you thinking?

Eh, I was thinking
about my parents.

How happy they were, you know,
before, when I was a kid.

Thought it would last
forever.

When did you realize
they weren't happy?

I guess about a year
before the accident.

They stopped trying
to hide it.

What happened?
I mean, was there a problem?

My mother happened.

She's a horrible human being
who became horrible-er.

You're gonna be better
than your dad.

Better than the best.

Hmm?
Thanks.

Thank you.

Fancy seeing you here.

Because you sent me
a text to meet you.

Yes, so...

You did good, kid.Mm-hmm.

We're square, you and me.

So, do you guys need
anything cleaned?

'Cause I've got that thing
till the end of today.

Well, aren't you
suddenly lovely?

What do you want?William!

Maybe she's just
being neighborly.

Yeah.

That could happen.

Sometime. Not today.
But eventually.

Called it, this guy.

Marty, um, you stage
and decorate

and host shit
like Binge Club, right?

You're like
a Martha Stewart type?

Well, I wouldn't put "shit"
and "Binge Club"

in the same sentence,

and I'm more of an Ina
than a Martha Stewart,

but, please, do go on.So, here's the thing --

I imagined
blowing Jack and Emma away

with this epic
anniversary party.

Meanwhile, in reality,
all I have is 40 Solo cups

and a bunch of ping-pong balls
and a jumbo bag of chips,

but I stress-ate them
in the Lyft.

Okay, so when's this soiree?

T-Tomorrow night?

Oh, man, well, 40 cups and ping
pong balls, I think maybe
we could just --

Oh, please with
the deep pondering.

We both know you'd pay her
to let you do it.

Really?
Yeah.

Oh, yes!
Thank you, thank you.

Okay, people. We have four hours
until the stores close.

We got to get on it.Wait.
You're gonna help me?

Well, somebody's got to
be in charge.

Well, that's me.
[ Laughs ]

Oh, muffin.Okay, whatever.

I'll just drop these off
at home.

[ Sighs ]

Izzy.

So that should be
as good as new.

Mm-hmm.

So Dada and I had alone time,
and that's completely natural.

[ Chuckles ] That's great.

Can you -- Can you --
The power-washer.

Now?
Yeah.

Okay. Great.

I'll see ya?Yeah. Yeah.

Dad?
Okay.

See you guys shortly.
Thank you, guys, again.

Are you fucking kidding me
right now? Honestly?

What? I'm an adult!Honestly.

♪♪

Gabriel: Hey, Sash.
W-What's up?

Uh, too casual,
sounds rehearsed.

Hey!
Sasha, you work here?

Bro, just say,
"Dat ass tho!"

Really?
Straight for the butt?

You could also offer to cut back
on the hate crimes.

Okay, I can do that.

Hey, how about, uh, "Girrrl, I'm
gonna let you cook me dinner."

So good. Also, if she says
she's not interested,

just really
turn up the heat.

Chicks really respect relentless
shark-like perseverance.

Where you at?

[ Water bottle sprays ]

How can I help you today?

I'm, uh, really into plants
and trees and shit.

It's kind of my jam.

Mm, like Pan-ism.[ Chuckles ] Exactly.

I'm, uh, particularly fond of...
ficus.

Fike-eye?
Whatever.

I'm also very fond of you, and I
want you to be my girlfriend.

[ Chuckles nervously ]
Um...

You really don't
want that.

Oh, I-I really do.

Gabriel...

[ Water bottle spraying ]You don't live on the streets
for almost a year

without accumulating
some serious fucking damage.

It's just a part of me now.
It always will be.

Well, color me warned.

I'm being serious.

So am I.

I'm 18, and I've never been
asked out on a real date.

Not once.

Maybe we could start there.

You want to go see a movie?Oh, with you?

God no.

What?
I said I wanted to be asked.

You're horrible.Color youwarned.

Can I kiss you now?

If you must.

♪♪

I'm working!

♪ Mama calls on Sunday

Yep.[ TV stations changing ]

Living it.

And living it.

[ Knock on door ]

Shaun: Neen!
I know you're in there.

[ TV turns off ]

You know I'm in here?

What the hell is that
supposed to mean?

What, like,
I don't have options?

Or maybe I'm out
having the time of my life,

no longer burdened
by the big ginger albatross.

But you're not, babe,
'cause you're talking to me

from the other side of the door,
and I can see your eyeball.

Fuck.
Guess what?

[ Singsong voice ]
I've got something for you.

What? What is it?
Give it.

[ Normal voice ]
You got a little...

little something there.

[ Scoffs ] God, okay,
get over it.

This is what rebirth looks like
for a woman.

It's glorious.
Oh.

It's much better now
that you've made me blind.

Wait, no, no, no, no!
It was a joke.

Remember, the gift?

Fine. Give it.

[ Box thuds ]

Your Hail Mary is S&M?

Read the inscription.

"You will always
hold the key."

You make me better, Neen.

I'm nothing without you.

You see, the handcuffs mean

that you'll always have control
of the relationship,

so that even if I get off
on some sort of wild --

Stop mansplaining
and turn around.

What?
Oh, did I stutter?

Oh! Oh! Ha![ Handcuffs clicking ]

You're gonna punish me,
are ya?

I've got a good one.

Why don't you leave me in bed
confused and alone

while you take a good,
long shower

and get all that goop
off your face and hair?

[ Laughs ]That would really show me
who's boss.

[ Chuckling ]

Mm.

Hmm.

What?

You're a lot of work,
but I'm in love with you.

Me, too.

I mean, with you.

Oh.

♪♪

I started feeling myself,
and I stopped feeling you,

and that won't happen again,
boss.

Oh!

Mm.

Let's see how many ways
we can make you apologize, okay?

Okay.Hmm?

Yeah.Okay.

Uh!

♪♪

♪♪

[ Clicking ]

[ Ringing]

♪♪

[ Tone sounds ]

David, I swear to God,
I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Dave:
Did somebody say my name?[ Door closes ]

I'm sorry I didn't answer
your phone call.

I've got my hands full of your
favorite things in the world.

But -- But --Now, listen, I got to
be back at the airport

in 10 hours and 37 minutes,
which, as you know,

is 10 hours and 27 minutes
more than I need.

You --
No.

You.

[ Both moaning ]

♪♪

No screaming
or swearing?

Not yet.

Well, it's a shame we can't
actually put the babies in here,

though.
Very funny.

It's only halfway done.[ Laughs ]

Mm.

You're gonna be
an amazing dad.

Why do you guys
keep saying that?

Because it's true.

Is everything okay
with you?

Yeah.

Because if you don't like
this stuff, any of it,

we can bring it all back.

No.
I think it's perfect.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Doorbell rings ]

It's Gabe?
Did you call Gabe?

Honey, I can do the crib myself.
I'm not a child.

I-I know you can, babe.

[ Scoffs ]
I know.

♪♪

He's not even using
the right tool.

[ Footsteps approaching ]

What?Mom wants to talk to you.

Is she invisible?Yeah, that's right.
She's invisible.

No, she's in the car, and she
wants you to come to her.

I'm --
Just shut up.

You think I don't know
how fucking weird this is?

Just save us both a lot of time,
and just get out there.

All right?

[ Insects chirping ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

Jackson.

Mother.

[ Sighs ]

So you're a mob boss now?

That's good to know.

Women have always
been underrepresented

in the organized
crime industry.

[ Both chuckle ]

I want to tell you
how your father died.

He was on a business trip
at the home office in Scottsdale

and got into a car wreck.

That's just the end
of the story.

There's more?

You were...

about 10 months old
when the affair started.

Elizabeth McCray,
VP of Marketing.

I knew.

He knew I knew.

But that night he called
from Scottsdale,

that was the first time
we ever spoke of it.

First and last.

Your father
only knew himself

as the sum
of other people's approval.

All the men huddled
in the basement,

laughing
at his shitty jokes.

And then her.

[ Scoffs ]

Maybe it was real.

I mean, 12 years
is a long time.

What did he say?

When he called?

He said he was gonna stay there
a while, figure things out...

with her.

I told him we wouldn't
be waiting around

for him to decide.

Four days later,
they got in the car wreck.

She made it, he didn't.

[ Sighs ]

Gabe knew?

He was older.

He put some pieces together.

Why didn't you tell me?

I lost him.

Gabe lost him.

You thought
he hung the moon.

Didn't see any reason
you had to lose him, too.

But I was wrong.

I let you
keep on loving him.

But then I couldn't help
hating you for it.

♪♪

[ Sniffs ]

♪♪

We fucked up.Yeah, you did.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

♪♪

[ Breathes shakily ]

[ Sobbing ]

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

[ Sighs deeply ]

♪♪

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sniffles ]

I'm...

sorry.

Me too.

[ Sniffles ]

Come in.
[ Sniffles ]

♪♪

Get ready.What do you mean?

You'll see.

It is freezing out there,
and neither of you dummies

thought a hot toddy
might be in order?

You know [laughs] one good woman
is better than two shitty ones.

Is she serious?

I never know.

Go!

Okay,
who's up for some Euchre?

You got any cards,
or are you all too gay for that?

So I can leave her here?Not a chance. No.

[ Sighs ]

♪ You got keep on pushin' on

♪ Pushin' on

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Keep on pushin' on

♪ Pushin' on

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Keep on pushin' on

♪ Pushin' on

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ You know got to
break through ♪

♪ You got keep on pushin' on

♪ Pushin' on

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Keep on pushin' on

♪ Pushin' on

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Keep on pushin' on

♪ Pushin' on

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ You know you got to

♪ Break through